Allergic to the Ordinary
Allergic to the Ordinary is a podcast for people who refuse to live, think, or create on default settings. Hosted by Jamie Gasparovic, the show explores identity, ambition, creativity, and reinvention through unfiltered conversations and sharp personal insight. It’s for those who feel the itch for more, and are ready to design a life that actually fits them.
Allergic to the Ordinary
13. Why Getting Dressed is Your Secret Weapon! (with Chellie Carlson)
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Think getting dressed is superficial? Chellie Carlson is here to prove you wrong.
As an LA-based stylist working with top executives and entrepreneurs, Chellie helps successful people who are exhausted from throwing money at their closets without results. In this conversation, we get real about the shame women carry around not being able to "figure out" getting dressed, why buying LESS will actually improve your style, and how your wardrobe directly impacts your nervous system.
If you've ever stood in front of a packed closet feeling like you have nothing to wear—this episode will change everything.
WHAT WE COVER
[00:00] Why successful people are exhausted from handling their own wardrobes [01:35] The magnetic transformation: From Taylor Swift t-shirts to commanding the room [03:38] Is fashion superficial? The uncomfortable truth about appearance and power dynamics [08:46] From bra fittings to wardrobe transformations: Chellie's origin story [13:59] Breaking free from the "size = worth" trap [19:15] The psychology behind holding onto clothes that don't serve you [21:11] Why your ski gear needs to GTFO of your main closet [24:04] Strategic shopping vs. just shopping: The three-step process (edit, tailor, organize) [27:13] The client with 100 Veronica Beard blazers (yes, really) [29:00] Permission to outfit repeat: Why signature looks build trust [35:34] High-stakes moments: Stop panic shopping and shop your own closet [40:29] Get your hot ass dressed: The one daily practice that changes everything [42:24] How your wardrobe affects your nervous system (backed by neuroscience) [45:30] Superpowers: Being an empath in a world that needs healing [47:00] What Chellie doesn't do: TV, Netflix, or the news [50:00] Allergic to the ordinary moment: Rachel Zoe and the art of wearing gowns everywhere
QUOTES WORTH SAVING
"What you wear is literally teaching others how to treat you. It's saying 'this is what I'm worth.'"
"If you got rid of half of your wardrobe right now, you will have better style. Period. You're not wearing 80% of it anyway."
"Your wardrobe has an impact on your nervous system. When you feel safe and beautiful in that outfit, you can exhale and walk into any room."
"Stop buying more clothes. The secret sauce is repeating your outfits. No one is judging you."
"Every day you get up, put something on that represents your higher self. The way you do one thing is the way you do everything."
YOUR TURN
Get dressed by 9am. Not in Lululemon—in jeans that fit perfectly and a top that makes you feel confident. Wear it again two days later. At night, swap into your comfies to signal relaxation mode. This simple shift regulates your nervous system and sets the tone for your energy, focus, and opportunities. Give yourself 30 days and watch what shifts.
CONNECT WITH CHELLIE
Instagram: @chelliecarlson
The Style Society: $55/month membership (first week free)
One-on-one transformations available worldwide
If ordinary has ever felt suffocating, you’re in the right place.
Follow Allergic to the Ordinary for conversations on identity, ambition, and designing a life that doesn’t play it safe.
Hosted by @jamiegasparovic
A Studio Gaspo production
I guarantee every woman listening right now, if you got rid of half of your wardrobe, you will have better style. Period. Half. Right now, half that wardrobe, you're not wearing 80% of it. So watch half. And watch what happens to your style because you've removed all of that energy and friction that's standing between you and no wonder you can't see your favorite pieces. Because they're they're so counterintuitive, but you've got to stop shopping. That's not the answer.
SPEAKER_02Today's guest doesn't just pick up cute outfits, but she transforms how successful people show up in the world. Shelley Carlson is an LA-based stylist working with top executives, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders, taking them from feeling fine to feeling magnetic every time they walk into a room. With over 20 years in fashion and a deep understanding of the psychology of style, she created the method, which is a game-changing approach that lends closet therapy, strategic shopping, and personalized styling to unlock next level competence. In this conversation, we're diving into why so many successful people are exhausted from handling their own wardrobes, the shame spiral that happens when nothing in your closet fits, and why outfit repeating is actually your secret, what then not something to avoid. We're also talking about the neuroscience behind getting dressed every morning, why buying less will actually give you better style, and how your wardrobe directly impacts your nervous system and the opportunities that come your way. If you've ever stood in front of your closet feeling like you have nothing to wear, or you're ready to stop playing small and start dressing like your most unstoppable self, this episode is for you. Let's get allergic to the ordinary with Shelly. Shelly, welcome to Allergic to the Ordinary. I'm so happy to have you on today from sunny California over there. How are you doing? So good. I'm it's it's overdue. We're doing this. I know, I know. I'm so excited. Happy New Year. Okay, I want to I want to dive right in with you. Your clients that you work with are very successful people already. They're executives and entrepreneurs and they have their shit together by most standards, but then they come to you to transform their style. What is it that drives them to come work with you when it's like they've got everything together in every other area, but there's something missing in the style arena?
SPEAKER_00I mean, there can be so many reasons they're coming. I would say the majority of them are exhausted from handling it themselves. They are they know they keep putting a lot of money and energy into their wardrobe, and what they're getting in return is nothing. They still don't have good style. That's when they hand over all control to me. And then I and then I step in. And then they never have to worry a day in their lives about getting dressed. They know every day they are dressing and feeling incredible in their bodies. Yeah. Because I've done the work with them.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's amazing. And I know you talk a lot about this gap between feeling fine in your clothes and then feeling magnetic in your clothes. And what is some behavior or some stories from people that you've worked with that you've seen that transformation really tangibly in them?
SPEAKER_00Oh god, I think my biggest is Jen. So Jen came to us, she lost 70 pounds. Yeah. Jen is a lawyer, uh, she owns her own law firm. She has 10 lawyers underneath her. She's running a almost$10 million law firm. Jen was showing up wearing uh Taylor Swift t-shirts and like Wrangler type jeans, yeah, and like sneakers. Okay. This was not giving signals that I am running a huge law firm.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And these people are working here under me. So after Jen, we were introduced through uh her one of her dating coaches, and she came to me and we did a massive, she was our biggest transformation yet. She literally looks like a different person, she moves like a different person. I knew Jen's potential, her personality and energy was like a 12. She's so brilliant. Her wardrobe was just dimming her light, and people couldn't see who the real Jen was. They were judging the book by the cover.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And the book was saying, I have low self-worth, I have low self-confidence. And then after working with us and through her transformation, Jen is now walking into rooms. People are noticing her. They are, you know, giving her more respect that she deserves. Yeah. Because she now is representing her her outward appearance is representing the inward, you know, work that she's done in her school.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, what she's got going on. That's amazing. Do you have people coming? I think that fashion, what I do, design, a lot of these things can be seen as superficial or vain. You know, I'm sure that you hear that too. I hear that. What is your comeback to that? Or do you have clients that come and have that concern? And what do you say to that?
SPEAKER_00I feel, I feel like a lot of women, we all have that of like, why, you know, I'm a spiritual person. What I wear shouldn't matter. Friends, I don't make the rules. It's like to me, I'd be naked right now. Like I'm totally naked. Like, I don't want to wear clothes, but you've got to get in the game. And especially if you're running a business and you're an entrepreneur, which most people in my world are, your what you wear is literally teaching others how to treat you. When you walk in a room, when you with your partner, with your children, it's it's it's literally saying, This is what I'm worth. Now do what you want with this information, right? And so we have a choice and we have to use it as a tool to give us the that edge of this is really who I am, this is the one I'm becoming, these are the places I'm going, this is what I'm doing with my life. And the wardrobe is a tool, it's a manifestation tool that can give you exactly that. And I feel you know, it it matters, right? I wish it didn't, but you have to invest in yourself, and this is how I've transformed my life. That's why I'm here to do it for others because I invested in me first. Yeah, and then you know, my wardrobe is just one of the big investments that I make in myself, and it raises my vibration energy.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And I feel like you said, it's like we don't make the rules, unfortunately or fortunately, people make snap judgments based on appearances and all of these things, but you may as well use that to your advantage rather than being hurt by it if that's how it is, right?
SPEAKER_00Right, you've got to use it as a tool, and it's not hard once you understand, and that's why you hire someone, it's not your zone of genius. Right. Most of my clients aren't born with innate style, most all women aren't. Yeah, we feel that as we because we are females, we should have this phenomenal style, just innately, yeah, that we were both with. And I'm here to let women know there's so much shame around this because every phone call I get on with a potential new client, she has shame around it. She's like, Why can't I get dressed? I'm struggling, I'm running this big business, I'm raising this family, but I can't figure out how to what to buy for myself. Close together, yeah. Yeah, I can't get can't get it together. And so so many women struggle with this. So it's like you've got to, if it's not your zone of genius, you outsource it. Yeah, that's why you you have a hairstylist, you have a hair colorist, you shouldn't be doing this on your own. Yeah, you know, I have a personal trainer that I invest in because I can't do it without him. And so style and just like you with your industry, I could never do interior decorating. Like I would have to call you, and I will when I when I have the power. Yes, I know. Say it. Like you it's just it's not their zone of genius, and they shouldn't be investing time. You know, you're you you have to figure out like you're you're wasting so much of your energy and time right in investing, it's not your zone. Like you've got to outsource it.
SPEAKER_02Quick pause. You're building a life that's allergic to the ordinary, so why settle for a home that plays it safe? If you're creating a home you want to be obsessed with and want zero builder grade regrets, Studio Gaspo is who you call early. We've spent over a decade designing high-stakes construction projects, custom builds, gut rentos, event boutique commercial spaces, and we're experts at delivering the creative vision and the execution to back it. We create identity-driven environments that feel like who you're becoming, not who everyone else already is. If that hits, go to studiogaspo.com to learn more. Yeah, that's great advice for everyone all across the board. You can be doing things so much more effectively in your own business, in your own life, in your own zone of genius, instead of getting frustrated for this other thing that you're and the outcome is never going to be as good as when you hire a professional anyway. So just outsource it, guys. I I feel that. What okay, obviously, you believe so deeply in transformational styling, all of this. You're not just picking people's clothes, it's so much cheaper than that. What is it about you? I think you approach your business differently than a lot of stylists in the industry. What do you think it is about you that you know led you to develop your business the way it is and feel confident in having this sort of radically different business model from a typical stylist?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Well, I'll back up a little bit. So I most people would never guess I grew up on a farm in Missouri. They think, you know, she's from LA, she's living. No, I grew up on a small farm. I went to college in Missouri for fashion. So as a young girl, I've always had fashion in my blood. It's been since I was I got it from my mother. So then I studied it in college and then I moved to Chicago for 21 years and I worked for a lingerie brand for 20 years. I never I found it on Craigslist. Do you remember Craigslist?
unknownYes.
SPEAKER_00Was it before your time?
SPEAKER_02No, no, I know Craigslist, but but yes. I'm not that much work with Amy, Shelley.
SPEAKER_00I found it on Craigslist and I I had the opportunity to be with him 20 years and connecting the dots backwards. It was perfect timing because I got to meet women on a many many I had many different roles, but one role was like actually doing bruffidies with women. They would walk in the fitting room, they'd rather go to the dentist than have me see their boobs and kick my brushes, right? Yeah. After and they had so much shame. My large fussed women wanted to be smaller, my smaller wanted to be bigger. So there was just this isn't that how it goes.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, if you have straight hair, you want curly hair. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, we want what we don't have. But there was just I could feel these women were really self-conscious about their bodies. They didn't like much about their bodies. But after I put them in the right bra, they literally looked 10 pounds slimmer, 10 years younger. They walked and they moved differently. And they would say to me, Shelly, what you just did for my bras, I want you to do for my wardrobe. Can you come to my house? So this light bulb went off. And I knew, you know, I knew I'd found my found a company. It was just a matter of when. But yeah, I just kept getting this itch to um I side hustled for a year and a half and I started making more money side hustling than I did in my retail career. Yeah. Which wasn't that much, if you can imagine.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00At that time. So I just finally um I founded with zero savings, really. I had less than$10,000 to my name most of my life. And then I I literally two weeks before COVID, we had mutual termination. I left the company and then COVID hit. So it was all perfect timing because COVID was the gift that you know, women and men were locked up for a year and a half wearing sweats. Coming out of that in 2021, my business took off because everyone's ready to like get out and look good and get yeah, get off the sleds. They realized their wardrobe, they would go in their closet and nothing resonated with them anymore. They're like, Yeah, who is that? That doesn't feel like me. I can't wear that. So it was this perfect opportunity for me to come in as the person that would help them find alignment in you know the woman or man they've become. So that was when I found it. And I um I feel like I know my human design and my jinkies are all the same. It all aligns to like self-body love. And I'm a vessel of love. I'm here to help women feel beautiful and safe in their bodies. Yeah, um, I have a lot of Venus in my chart, beauty. It's something you you do too, I'm sure. You probably have a lot of Venus because you you have that vision of beauty and balance, and I have it through the body, and I know that this is what I meant to do. And so when I found it at the age of 40 with no money, it was literally I was in so much discomfort playing small. And I know a lot of women out there can relate, they're in that corporate job, that yearning to do something more, right? Yeah. That lights them up, yeah, it lights them up, and so I knew I just I hit that point where I was like, I just have to leave. And I literally then hit COVID to this rock bottom, and then I had I can only go up from there. And then but I only I stayed true to what you know when I created my methodology five four years ago, five years ago. Yeah, it's the same methodology I use today, and I noticed a huge transformation after someone did this edit session shop and styling with me. And so that's what I packaged and started selling. And that was my signature service that I still use today, and it's just this container of deep transformation and it happens quick. Like this isn't six to eight months, this is three sessions. You'll literally never be the same, but again or get dressed the same. And it's really creating a new identity around you know, your style and who you want to become, and using your style as that anchor and that tool to help you attract all those things you want in your life 10 times faster.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And who doesn't want a quick transformation? I mean, I feel like that's what everyone wants, you know.
SPEAKER_00So that's right. You don't want this to last a long time. And I do, you know, you just have to trust that you deserve this and you're worthy of it. That's the hardest part for women is believing that we're worthy of investing in ourselves. And the only way I changed my life was by investing in coaches, masterminds, groups of women like Maison, where I met you. Yeah. That's what's that's what's given me, you know, quantum shifts in my career and the woman I've become.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I love that. Knowing that you're worth it and knowing that you have to invest to get to another level of yourself and like trusting that that it's gonna be there. I think I love that you talk a lot about body positivity and clothes fitting you, not you fitting clothes. You just did a really great Instagram post about different sizes you were wearing. And it was like, I'm here, I'm wearing a blazer and it's a size small. Here is a different blazer in a large, here's size whatever pants and whatever, you know, all over the map. Can you talk a little bit about that? Because I think people get so hung up on like I'm a size this, or if I don't want to buy a size bigger, like something's wrong with me if it doesn't fit.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, like yes. We have been brainwashed by the matrix, by society that size, your size determines your worth. And the reason I'm here to serve, um, I'm here to serve the woman I used to be, and I'm most gifted in doing that, and that's why this is my magic, is because I used to be the girl who was stuck on size, was obsessed with I spent most of my life not feeling skinny enough, not feeling good enough. Like I couldn't go out sometimes because I didn't feel safe in my body and didn't feel like I was beautiful enough. And I really I know what it feels like to not feel good or safe in your body. And so that with size, we're obsessed. Like back in the day, I you know, we we used to wear things tight because it made us feel like we were skinnier, we were slimmer, right? And that was also part of the matrix making women feel small, right? Like the tighter, the smaller, the better, yeah, smaller the better. And I always wanted to be smaller, and I would have never in the past like talked about my size. I was always looking forward to getting into that smaller size. It was something I yearned for, and I never got there, and I was always chasing that you know, smaller size. Yeah, and you know what? I quit after I found in my company, and I was like, this is my mission is to help women like set them free to stop worrying about the size and just start wearing things that feel good for them. The label and the size do not matter, it's just the fit and the way, especially on bottoms. Really, women are triggered with the waist. I mean, I am. It's always been my issue. We all have uteruses, we all have stomachs as women, and we think it should be flat or inverted. We see images of women that are so thin, and you know, it's just I of course I've always wanted to look that way, and I'm never going to look that way. And now I'm coming to terms with it, and I'm putting on pants that are a size 29 that feel light on that make me feel like I can wear these pants. So many women want to wear these joggers and sweats all day. That's because you're buying the wrong pants and you're buying the wrong sizes. If you put something on that fits you, you should be able to wear that pant or jean all day long. You should be able to go on a flatbed flight to Europe in that bottom and wake up and wear it all day and feel great. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So there is not like, oh, I have to unbutton this and I have to get these off.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, no, your pants are not fitting you because you're buying the wrong size. I've worked with countless clients who have been buying the wrong size to the tune of hundreds of thousands of dollars for years, thinking that's my size. I'm gonna stuff myself into it. If I'm I'm damned, I'm going to get into this bottom. Yeah, and ignore how I actually feel how I feel their pants are so tight, they can't eat, they can't sit down, and then there's a constant shame spiral, right? Because then you walk in your closet and none of your bottoms fit. No wonder you can't get dressed, ladies. Yeah, yeah. You've got to get the right bottoms. The tops, I'm not really as worried about, but we have a real hard time with the bottoms as women.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's so funny. I just quoted you literally yesterday. I was talking to a friend about jeans, and she was talking about the size and getting used to not wearing skinny jeans and all the all these things. And I was like, you might have to buy up. You might have to buy larger and tailor down. That's what Shelly always says. Buy it for the biggest part and then tailor down. Like that's what you need to do. And she's like, Oh, I wish I had, I wish I had heard that before I spent X amount of dollars on these jeans.
SPEAKER_00Yes, yes, yes, so many women have we we have larger hips, right? A lot of clients I work with. So what we do is we fit the hip and then the waist, there's that that extra room, and you think, oh, this doesn't fit me. No, it's a$20 alteration. You take in the back, it's gonna fit you perfect, and it's gonna give you room. Like you should have room in your way, your waistband for like a give and take. Yeah so you don't feel like you're being suffocated by your bottoms, right? And it looks more flattering too, right? But again, looser is it's it's current. You don't need I I all of my pants I'm sizing up in because I don't care what size it is anymore. But trust me, my younger self, that's that was her mission. She lived to you know, want to be smaller, yeah, and play small.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and a lot of people can relate to that, yeah. And it's like if you spent the energy that you're spending ruminating about this smaller size on like conquering the world, we would all be so much better off.
SPEAKER_00I could not agree more. So I could just, I mean, we could do a whole pod on that because it's so important, and I know so many women are struggling because I know right now in your closet, and I just did a video today of what I let go of on New Year's. I'm sharing there's four or five, four pairs of shorts that no longer fit me, and I'm I'm removing them from my closet and I'm selling them. And this is what women need to do. You've got to get out if it doesn't fit you, get it out of your main closet, and if you feel Like you want to eventually wear it, you're attached emotionally to it, you can archive it, put it in another closet, and then when if and when you do change sizes, it's there, but it should not be in your main core closet if it doesn't fit you perfectly right now. Yeah, that's great advice. The game when you're getting dressed in the morning, because you get you walk in your closet and nothing fits you. No wonder you can't get dressed.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. What is it with your clients and that you see out there? What is that psychology behind wanting to hold on to things in your closet? Like, why is it such a hard thing to let go of stuff, even though you haven't worn it in years, even though it doesn't fit you? Like, what is it?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Shame I often find it's a shame around investing in it and not getting any use out of it or value. Right. And realizing, wow, I spent so much money on these pieces, and I bought all the wrong sizes or I bought things that really don't really reflect me.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00You have to choose better and you've got to let those go. And when you're when you're shopping, it's it's like you've got to try these things on and you maybe wear them around the house before you take the tags off and make sure they feel good for you. And then you only need to keep things that you can style five to seven ways with your current wardrobe, right? A lot of women are just buying random, random things, yeah. What's the point of investing in that? You need everything to work together in your capsule. And then I feel another big thing, women are holding on to like sentimental things, which are okay, and or like special occasion pieces. It's really important to have all those archived. Get them out, whether it's the the dress you got engaged in or whatever it is that's special, put it in a separate area. The only things that should be in that main closet are pieces that you're literally wearing every day. Period.
SPEAKER_01Your ski gear, your resort wearing it every day. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00You're not wearing your resort, you need a closet for your resort and your special occasion. It's going to clear that energy and that space so that you can then walk in and shop your closet, get dressed in five minutes. That's how easy it should be.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And I think it's that reframe of more is not more, having more stuff in there that doesn't that you can't just pull out and wear does not help you. It hurts you.
SPEAKER_00Another previous past self-limiting belief where we thought we were brainwashed to think the more clothes, shoes, you know, we see these women with closets. Some of my clients have them, that with you know, walls of shoes. Yeah. We think that that's what we want. We just keep buying stuff, right? Thinking that that's gonna solve our style problem. Bags, clothes. And it's like my philosophy is the opposite. When you have, and I'll sh I'm gonna share soon, my closet. No one can believe how small my closet is. People probably look at me and think I have a room that's yeah, I used to have a closet the size of a room. Yeah. Now I'm I have the tiniest, I have half the clothes of the majority of my clients. And we've already cut theirs down. Like I literally have the tiniest wardrobe, and it's it's things that I love and I'm really that reflect who I am and who I'm becoming. But I guarantee every woman listening right now, if you got rid of half of your wardrobe, you will have better style. Period.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Like right now, half that wardrobe, you're not wearing 80 minutes. You're not wearing it. Yeah. So let go of half and watch what happens to your style because you've removed all of that energy and friction that's standing between you, and no wonder you can't see your favorite pieces because they're they're hidden by all the other crap that doesn't fit you.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that you don't like.
SPEAKER_00You don't like, so it's so counterintuitive, but you've got to stop shopping. Like that's yeah, it's not the answer.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So I know you talk about strategic shopping versus what is the difference between that? You've talked, you've touched on a little bit, but if someone's listening to this, like, okay, I'm gonna clear out a bunch of stuff, but I do maybe I do need to fill some gaps or whatever. Like, what is something really actionable they can do to be strategic when they're shopping and not end up with regrets?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think the first part I mentioned was the edit session, right? Yeah. Ruthlessly edit your wardrobe. And it's a really uncomfortable thing for a lot of women, and it you avoid it. You keep putting it off, and you're like, one day I'll edit, and you just keep buying. So edit. Then the next part is tailoring. So I guarantee in that closet, you have some really beautiful pieces. They just need a little tailoring, whether it's the hem, because in the past we used to wear higher heels. Maybe you just need to rest that hem. It's going to, you know, it's a beautiful pant. You just need to tailor some of these pieces to fit your body, and then they look like new, and you're like breathing new life into them, and you don't need to go out and shop. So tailor is the second big important thing. And then the third is I'd love for you to just have you only need your current season in that closet, front and center. Okay. Right now, which is fall, winter, even in warm climates.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Want to remove the spring and summer and put it in another section, or if you can put it in another closet area, because you should not be shopping through the other season if it's not current season. Okay. So this is going to change the game for so many women. It's like, why are you it's fall, winter, and now you're moving through eyelet blouses and you know, linens right now. No, move it. So you have a smaller, you know, focus. And then once you have hopefully a smaller rack of clothes that you love, now it's gonna be the part where you're going to spend time putting looks together. You're gonna try these pieces on, you're gonna remember, oh my gosh, I love that trouser. I just haven't worn it in years. Put it on, style it with a top, take a selfie, create a little album in your phone. Yeah, so that in that morning when you're rushing, you gotta get kids are screaming at you. You literally pull your phone out and you're like, what am I gonna wear? Oh, boom, love this outfit. Yeah, it's right and it's right there. You it's five minutes. So it's like you have to do this legwork and this put this energy into planning what you want right now in advance because the morning of you're freaking out, it's yeah, it's too much.
SPEAKER_02So do you don't have the mental energy at that time?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. Go ahead and pre-plan some of your favorite looks. And if you put you know a look together you like that's different, a snap of selfie. I do a selfie every day for myself, yeah. Just you know, hold myself accountable for showing up. But so really that I think is a really important part. And then now after you've edited, you do have some holes. Let's maybe put them in a note on your phone of like, okay, I need a dark denim, I need a black turtleneck, whatever it is. And then you shop strategically for those pieces because here's the problem: most women keep over buying the same things because they're not editing their wardrobe. I had a client in Tennessee, one of my favorite clients still. I walked in a closet, she had over 100 Veronica beard blazing.
SPEAKER_02My gosh.
SPEAKER_00This isn't like a is a whole rack. Yeah, it wasn't like I acquired these over 20 years. This was like a three-year period. And I looked at her and I said, Melissa, what happened? Like, why did you do this?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, why do you have so many?
SPEAKER_00Well, I thought this was my style, and they just kept sending these to me, so I just kept them and have had tags. So I'm like, Melissa, we're we're selling all these. Yeah, you're like she just thought, like you have this lens and you keep doing the same thing over and over again. But when you even though it's not working, yeah, it's not working, and so maybe it's genes. Some women keep just buying genes and that's all they have. It's like 60%, they don't have any other you know, foundation pieces to match it with, yeah. You have to realize, like, get real with yourself of like, what am I over buying in? You don't need 30 black chemisolves, yeah. You need two. So let's cut all the other ones out.
SPEAKER_02What are your two favorites that you grab as soon as they're clean? Yes, get those.
SPEAKER_00You know what your whole so like once you get the congestion out, clarity comes, and then you're clear on okay, this I feel good in this outfit. And then you're gonna get you're gonna wear to create a signature look, start wearing some of your favorite pieces and watch how the universe responds. Watch how many compliments you get in certain outfits. I can go to the airport, I'm getting dozen compliments. It's embarrassing, but it's literally signature look, and then it's like repeat that okay. You're getting information from other people, double down on what's working. Yeah, what you want to wear, you love wearing those red sneakers. Keep wearing them and then change, you know, stop just buying more and more, find what your signature looks are and put those together and repeat them. That's the magic. The secret sauce is repeating your outfits. Yes, no one is judging you. Trust me.
SPEAKER_02I'm gonna ask you this because I feel like that's something you talk about all the time. You've given me permission. You know, and so many women, and it's like we have this conditioning that we can't we can't outfit repeat, we can't be seen in the same thing multiple times. And how, yeah, how are you helping people like erase that belief?
SPEAKER_00It's such a lie. It's another limiting belief that society and the fashion world is making money off of it. Yeah, like you're not good enough until you buy this new trend where you look the certain way. And what I'm coaching, how I coach my clients is we want to have fewer pieces, but we want to invest in higher quality. So the goal is to not go for the quantity game. You know, we're we're not shopping on Amazon, we're buying things that we will have for years to come. And once you fall in love with a certain piece, and every time you wear it, you feel so beautiful and magnetic, then style it in one week. You could wear the same blazer four days, style it differently. Yeah, you don't need to go out and buy five more of that blazer, or a lot of women often go buy it in every color. You're right. I recommend doing that. Like you can always like just take it slow, right? So I want you, I think the overarching theme is like have less, but make better choices, like really purchase something that's in alignment with you know, and I make my decisions and choices for myself and my clients from who am I becoming from my higher self? Like, would Shelly three to five years from now want to invest in this? Is does this reflect where she's going? And if it's no, I don't buy it. But if it's a yes, it's a hell yes. And I and I like to share, like, if I want something, I'm typically like I know I'm energetically drawn to it. I feel the energy of this item, whether it's a bag or a blazer, and I know if it's meant for me, like I typically won't even look at the price because I'm so so many women are focused on I I can only buy it if it's on sale, or I'm I can't afford it, or yeah, or that's a lot to pay for that piece of something.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00But if you I mean, I have like my snake boot. I wore, I've worn that boot.
SPEAKER_02You wear those, yeah.
SPEAKER_00I had placed the soul. Like it's and it's a I mean, it was a$2,000 boot almost,$1,800 boot, and I don't care because I wear it every almost every week.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And it's sort of like this it's the energetics of intentional shopping and knowing like that's that represents me and who I'm becoming, and I'm gonna buy it. And I'm gonna wear it. It's not gonna sit in my closet. Yeah, right. You're gonna get good use out of it. Making smarter decisions and the cost per wear goes down.
SPEAKER_02That's what I I just saw something about cost per wear and something with I think it had to do with AI, but it was talking about this program analyzing things more based on cost per wear. Or if you see a sweater and it's like, oh, this sweater's$80. But then based on what it's made out of and how many wears you can get before it even falls apart, it's like, okay, well, it's$30 per wear versus this cashmere or what have you that costs more up front, but is for the longevity you're gonna get out of it, much less per wear. And I think that's an interesting reframe for people. And you're talking about it less in, well, you know, quality, but also in terms of energetics and you you wanting to wear that.
SPEAKER_00Right, of like really finding things that you know speak to you and that feel in align or that are authentic to you, because that's when the magnetism happens. It doesn't come from going on Revolve and buying the hottest, newest pieces. Like any girl can do that, and you're going to look like every other girl. Yeah, and you can keep doing that. But I really want you to find what's true for you and what feels good when you put it on. You're like, like my favorite jeans, I'll wear them, you know, four days a week if I want, because I love them. And and I don't really care if anybody sees me in them twice because and if anyone's paying that close attention, they need to get a life.
SPEAKER_02Exactly.
SPEAKER_00That's outfit repeat, like where, you know, I think it's I think it's much more interesting to have a signature look that feels like you and just stop doing what everyone else is doing.
SPEAKER_02I couldn't agree more. That's the whole point of this podcast. Like, don't be ordinary, don't just fall into this. And I think it's you said intentional, and that is probably one of my favorite words. And that's what it is. It's less about the end result. You're everyone's gonna look different or have different style, but it's more about the intention behind it. And then you end up there.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and you feel lighter, you feel like more like yourself every day. And that's yeah, that's what we're all here. We're all on a journey, you know, inward to become more of who we really are. And your wardrobe is part of, you know, I take women on that journey of like, we're gonna discover self-discovery. And I'm gonna show you who you are through your wardrobe.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I mean, it's again, it's such a such an important way of how you're presenting yourself to the world, that is the first impression that you're making before you say a word. Like your wardrobe is saying something and people are thinking something and perceiving something based on it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's so powerful. I'm obsessed.
SPEAKER_02So me, me too. Obviously, I can just quote you to you all day. Um, okay, here's the scenario. If someone has something really important, a really significant moment coming up, say they're on a stage or they have a meeting for their business, that's huge. How do you coach people to approach those moments? Because I think a lot of people's initial inclination is let me go buy something special for this. Let me buy something different. Like, what do you say to them for this really big moment where they feel like they need something?
SPEAKER_00I mean, my obviously my first recommendation is to go in your closet. And I know you probably have something that really makes it's like your power suit. Whatever it is that makes you feel your best, just wear it again. No one and you're building trust. The more you keep out of it repeating and wearing a signature look, you're building trust with your audience. People will want to buy from you because they trust you. And then if you're really wanting, because there's often I find when you really want to search for something, you can't find it. So then you're you're you're doing these online hauls, you're spending thousands of dollars buying stuff. That's these are taking hours shopping, then hours returning things, and then you're exhausted, and then you you don't even find anything. But in your closet, you have these beautiful pieces that you should be wearing, and maybe you just style it a little different, you know, a different shoe, a different accessory to make it feel different and just wear what you have. I mean, that's I mean, I have most of my clients have personal brands, and they when they have photo shoots coming up, they literally just go in their closet. Everything they need for a photo shoot is right there. Yeah, I see so many women who are like freaking out about their photo shoots, and they're like, I need to buy a whole new wardrobe, yeah, and then I'm gonna return it all, or whatever they're gonna do. And it's just and then those clothes, when you do that, you know, I'm consistent in when I do a photo shoot, like I'm re-wearing these outfits. If you see me in a professional photo, like that's something I'm wearing normally, and I'm proud of it.
SPEAKER_02That's not some special weird thing.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think I didn't go out and buy an extravagant new outfit for this photo shoot. It's just like it's it represents me and my brand. And and the more consistently I show up daily wearing these things, it builds trust. So I would say again, look in the closet, look inside yourself. You probably don't need to seek outside of you, it's in there.
SPEAKER_02It's very wise, Shelley. I love that. You got this. Okay, what is one item in your closet right now that you feel like is the epitome of Shelly, who you're becoming? Like, you're like, this is my power item. I know you have I know your whole closet is that, but like one thing specifically.
SPEAKER_00That I really covet right now every time. I mean, I really love my snake boots, like I and they're so freaking comfortable. Like, yeah, I don't buy anything. That's another thing, ladies. Like, I don't buy anything that's not comfortable.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it just I'm not gonna- You're not gonna end up wearing it, yeah.
SPEAKER_00No, I will not invest in it, and I don't invest in that for my clients. So I would say that boot, it just is so fun and funky, and not every girl is wearing it. I I want to do, I want to break the rules. I want to do what everyone else is not doing. So whatever's on trend, I'm like, it's not for me. And then I also I really covet my uh my black vest. I have this biker vest. I gotta figure out.
SPEAKER_02I know the one, I love it. Yeah, I do.
SPEAKER_00It was my best Zara purchase for$200. Love her so much, and I'll have that for that will be a part of my wardrobe for the rest of my life. In my, you'll see me in my 70s and 80s rocking a gap vest with my snake boots.
SPEAKER_02Oh my gosh, I love that. And I think that goes to show too, it's not the most expensive thing in your class. Everything doesn't have to be the most expensive, right?
SPEAKER_00Oh, and that's another lot, you know. Again, I I don't really care what the label says, it matters if it's the quality, I love value. Is it the best fit quality that I can get for the investment? Yeah, it's often not in a designer label.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, because a lot of times you're paying for the brand, not necessarily the quality or the construction. Yes, exactly. Amazing. Okay, what is one? I know we talked through some things people could do, but someone getting dressed today, they're about to walk out the door. What's one small change they can make to really start stepping into that most magnetic future self?
SPEAKER_00I think my number one, if there's one takeaway here, ladies, it's every day you're gonna get your hot ass dressed. And I know so many of you are sitting right now in your Lululemons, your comfy cozies, and there's no judgment. I love me some comfy cozies too. But here's what's gonna change the game. And ladies, this isn't rocket science. You don't need to get in a full, you know, extravagant, sexy look. You can put on that pair of jeans that fits your body perfectly. It feels really good. You can put on a beautiful turtleneck, a beautiful blouse, something that feels makes you feel safe and confident in your body. And every day you're gonna get dressed. And I want you to you can take a selfie or not, but I want you to see how that one shift, it's the way you do one thing, is the way you do everything. And getting dressed for your day sets the tone for how people respond to you, your energy, your focus. The food you choose that day will be affected by what you wear. It's so we there's so many things we can't control, but what we can control is what We put on our body. So every day, and then you're gonna start seeing, okay, I felt really good in that outfit. Okay, great. Ten days later, wear it again. You you don't just start re rewearing these favorite pieces, you don't need a massive closet to do this. You can mix and match you know, four bottoms and five tops. That's all you need to build a good in that you feel good in. And then at the end of the day, so our it's neuroscience fact. So by getting dressed for work, whether I don't care if you're working or not, I work with a lot of stay-at-home moms. I coach them on getting dressed every day, yeah, uh for whatever they're going to be doing, running errands, mom pickup. You can still put beautiful clothes on that holding your okay. Or if you are going into an office or not, but get dressed because at the end of the day, you can then swap out into your comfy cozies and you're going to tell your brain, like, now I'm ready to relax. Yeah, I'm ready to to enjoy my dinner and my meal. And it shifts your mood into that relaxation mode. But in that morning, by by 9 a.m. every day, I am dressed and ready to go to see my top client, even though I'm usually with my team.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Awesome. That's such great advice. And I think it it does totally think about when you're in that outfit and you feel so great, and then you see someone at the grocery store and you're like, oh hey, like you're so much more willing to talk to people, or like you're gonna meet, you know, things are gonna happen.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Like even at the airport, like I've met my dream clients at the airport. I've met, I mean, women are meeting, you know, their partners, their life partners at the airport. You know, you or you can meet your new best friend.
SPEAKER_02It's just like things, it's just you're ready, you're ready for opportunity. You're like literally ready. You're ready physically, you're ready mentally for opportunity to come to you, right?
SPEAKER_00And everyone's talking about the nervous system. I think your wardrobe really has an impact on your nervous system when you feel safe and beautiful in that outfit you put on, you're it calms your nervous system. Yeah, you feel you could walk in any room and you have your armor on, you're protected, you're safe, you feel beautiful, you feel authentic. Like that makes my nervous system just exhale, yeah. Exhale, and it's like you can do this every day for yourself, and it's a an act of self-love. Every day choosing you first, you get dressed, then you can handle your family. It's like putting on your mask oxygen mask, yeah. You put that outfit on and watch and give yourself 30 days and watch how things shift, watch how different things come to you, how you feel, how your energy levels are. I mean, it's it's so powerful, and so many women are just missing it. And it's I mean, I think it's the third most important thing. I think moving your body, obviously in the morning, yeah, the food you choose and your wardrobe is probably the third most important factor that affects your day and affects your mood.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I could not agree with you more. I think it's a huge thing, and a lot of people are again kind of brushing it off as a nice to have, or oh, that's silly or whatever. And it's so much deeper than that, which obviously you know and you've taught me a lot about. So thank you. All right, I've got some signature questions for you here. I'm a big believer in something that you thought was weird about you, or maybe tried to hide, like as a child, is actually one of your superpowers, especially as an entrepreneur. What do you feel like is one of yours?
SPEAKER_00Wow, I've never been asked this one. Oh, I love this. Um, I definitely have the superpower of I'm definitely an empath. I'm a healer. And and as a child, I just felt I feel everything. I walk in a room, yeah, I instantly read people and I can feel their moods, their energy. And that's why this I'm able to do my work is that I can read what their limiting beliefs are. I can feel their bodies and help heal them. But I I never really felt like it was a gift in the past, and now I'm I'm so happy that I am so sensitive. I'm definitely HSP. Yeah, I'm sensitive to everything, and so I feel like that's such a gift, and I'm so blessed to be so sensitive.
SPEAKER_02And now you realize that and you're leaning into it, yeah.
SPEAKER_00In a world where things are so heavy and dense, and I'm very sensitive to everything. So it's a it's uh a curse and a gift at the same time.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, but I think definitely a gift, it definitely helps you be great at what you do. So that that's a total superpower. All right, what's one thing that most people accept as normal that you do not subscribe to?
SPEAKER_01Whoa.
SPEAKER_00That most people do. Oh, I don't watch TV. Oh, okay. I own, I think I have five TVs in my house. I literally do not watch TV. I don't watch Netflix, I don't watch movies, I don't turn on the news. None of it comes into my no TV. It's just a weird thing that I've I mean in the past three years since I founded my company, yeah. It's been more of me just I listen to podcasts, like positive propaganda. I do have a books. Yeah. Constantly, you know, I'm obsessed with personal growth, so I'm constantly doing spiritual work, the mindset work, the manifestation work, and there's no time for me to do that. No room for TV, yeah. TV. Yeah, and so that's something you would never guess from me. And I'm not saying in the future I'm not opposed to it, but I'm just focused. That's not normal, yeah.
SPEAKER_02But I would say the masses say, Oh, yeah, come home, watch Netflix. That's normal. Yeah, right, right.
SPEAKER_00Like I would rather be there's so many other things that I want to do and experience than that right now, but it could change soon. Who knows? But for now, well, that's my thing.
SPEAKER_02For now, that's your thing. Speaking of changing, I want to know what is something in the last year or so that you have changed your mind about like a belief or a routine, something that you thought one way, and now you're like, oh, you know what? I changed my mind.
SPEAKER_01This is a great question. You know, I within a year I've started um I've started weightlifting.
SPEAKER_00You know, I never was a weightlifter until I met my trainer about a year ago. And I never, I was, I was like, I'm I don't want to get bigger, I don't want to build muscle, like I need to be this certain way, you know.
SPEAKER_02The belief I feel like that goes into back to the belief in the conditioning of like smaller is better.
SPEAKER_00And I'm like, I am obsessed. I two days a week I'm with this trainer and I I'm obsessed with it, and I'm lifting heavy weights, and I'm he's pushing me out of my comfort zone. So I never thought my whole life I never lifted weights, and maybe in high school when I was an athlete, but other than that, I was brainwashed into Pilates, yoga. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I love that, and that's why I love this question because it's like people, the people that are on here, the people that are listening to this are people that are self-development, are learning new things. And so I just love the thought of like, yes, it's okay to learn something new and then change your mind based on new information. That should be the norm, you know. Yeah, yeah. Okay, that's a good one. Who is one person that comes to mind when you think of allergic to the ordinary and why trying to like because I could go so many different so many different ways, right?
SPEAKER_01Yes. Go whatever way you wish. I guess I could do a style uh style disruptor, right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean, even like I love how Rachel Zoe disrupts, you know, she wears gowns everywhere, yeah, and she doesn't care about what anyone else thinks. And I I my wish is for more women to do that, to find what is that thing for them that I mean she just no apologies. She's like, Yeah, I'm wearing six-inch heels to do anything in my life, and I'm wearing a gown. Right. And she does not care about what anyone thinks, and I completely respect that.
SPEAKER_02Yes, we we admire that in a woman for sure.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that and I mean I also, you know, there's so many, and I don't really and another weird thing about me is like I don't because I don't watch movies or TV, like I don't know celebrity culture or I don't really keep up with what's going on out there, but you know Rachel's I like the rule breakers.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, they're doing things differently.
SPEAKER_02Yep, I like that. All right, if someone listening wants to live a more allergic to the ordinary life, what's one actionable thing they could do today?
SPEAKER_00I would I would say, I mean, I'm bringing it back to the wardrobe again. I mean, the one thing you can do is wear what lights you up. Yeah. The goal is that you don't look like every other woman, right? So wear what's true for you and watch how it changes the game for you. Your confidence, your and everything will change. Trust me. And just wear it on repeat.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, amazing. Well, that was perfect, a perfect full circle moment. Shelly, where can everyone find you if they want to follow along and listen to all your wisdom?
SPEAKER_00So I hang out on the gram mostly, and I'm at Shelly Carlson and it's Shelly with a C. We'll put it in the show notes. Double L I. And that's where I hang out. And I have um, you know, I have my one-on-one clients that I work with. Um, no matter where you are in the world, I can come to you, we can work together, we want to work for a transformation, or I have this beautiful membership. It's called the Style Society that I'm obsessed with. I have women from all over the world in this container, and they are on a self-discovery style journey, and I'm guiding them month after month in evolving their style. So this is$55 a month, your first week free.
SPEAKER_02Great, easy, easy step in.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. If you want, if you know you deserve more from your wardrobe and you just don't know where to begin, this is the safe place where I'm there to guide you.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, amazing. We are gonna put the link in the show notes. That's such a great option to get some work in with you. Yeah, get in the world. Yeah, love that. Well, Shelley, thank you so much for coming on. It was great to see your face, and we will talk soon. Thank you. If this episode sharpened your thinking, send it to someone who's allergic to the ordinary. And if you're a badass who's building or renovating a home and want it drenched in identity instead of boring and default decisions, Studio Gas goes your go to. I'm Jamie Isperavik, and this is Allergic to the Ordinary. I'll see you next episode.