Trill Academy
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Trill Academy
Episode 10: "Within Reason"
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
02:20 – Drake new album “ICEMAN” reaction
15:57 – Ice Spice gets into altercation at McDonald’s
27:21 – T.I. refuses picture from a fan and faces backlash
30:49 – Kevin Hart roast review
37:40 – Stephen A Smith vs Jaylon Brown
58:36 – White woman gives the blueprint on how to land a top college athlete
01:16:31 – Page Turner speaks on how she was tricked into being a “boss chick”
01:32:22 – Woman speaks on what ruffles other women’s feathers the most
01:49:35 – Why is it so hard for me to leave when I know I’m settling?
01:58:34 – Is it wrong for one spouse not to be as ambitious as the other?
02:02:35 – What if my partner wants to take things slow but still wants sex
02:08:40 – How do I stop from reacting in a destructive manner in the moment?
It feels good to be back. Episode 10. Feels good to be back, man. Welcome to episode 10 of the Trill Academy podcast. It's your boy. It's a beautiful thing, man. My dog, Trill A C. I'm here.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, we got a lot to break down today, brother.
SPEAKER_02Um, before we get started, though, how you feeling? I feel great, man. I'm a little sore. A little sore button. I feel great. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Back outside. I'm back out there. You know what I'm saying? I had to give these boys some buckets. You know what I'm saying? Went four and one yesterday. First game had to warm up, you know. I had to use my size a little bit. Like riding a bike? Oh, yeah. For sure. For sure. Make sure they went out there cooking you.
unknownNah. Me?
SPEAKER_02Never. Never. I was defensive MVP. I did everything last night. Shot the ball decent. Decent. You know what I'm saying? I was cooking like that, but you know, I played my part. A lot of dimes, no looks, drop-offs, spin, you know, in my floater, get in the paint, do my thing. Got in your bag, you was tapped in. Got some steals. Yeah, like I said, overall, you know, I just wanted to get back in shape, really. And uh one of my staff invited me. He was like, yeah, man, we he's like, we run all day. We just run. We just run. I was like, all right, I'm I'm down. He said, we only have 11 people. He said, so one person, whoever on the side, they up, they pick their phone, we keep going. I said, bet, say no more.
SPEAKER_04Be careful about that, brother. You can't heal like you used to, boy.
SPEAKER_02Oh, no, no. Oh, I know. I woke, boys, this morning, boy. I was so tight. Everything. Everything was tight. I gotta keep moving. I keep keep doing this and shit, getting up slow. But yeah, nah, man, it's it's good. Only once a week. That's it. Only once a week I'm gonna do that. It's a beautiful thing.
SPEAKER_04Two straight hours. Oh, two straight, Hooper? Two straight. Didn't get off the court, or it was some little.
SPEAKER_02I didn't get off.
SPEAKER_04We lost the first game, but you know. Brand it back. It was of course I'm gonna get picked up. I don't know about the course. We gotta start out with somehow with the course.
SPEAKER_02I'll get picked up. You better pick me up.
SPEAKER_04Nah, for sure. Um, yeah, man. We uh but speaking of back outside, man. October's very on this back, man. Back in a major way. Not me. No. Oh, okay. Hell no. Never. Never was I talking about. Nah, salute to Drake, man. He uh he dropped a three-piece, man. Three albums back to back to back. Uh, same day. First time in history. Uh, top three albums on the billboard are his. Iceman, one of them, I beep T, and then made an honor. Um for those who ain't heard it yet, Iceman slot of rapping. Whole lot of rapping on there. Um, he addressed a lot of things. You can tell he was sitting back throughout these two years, really just writing stuff down in terms of things he wanted to address. And uh, yeah, man, he touched on everything. He touched on everybody uh in that album, the Habib T album, that's RB traditional. That's how you can tell Drake is an RB baby. Some of the samples he used, some of the songs that he referenced and things of that nature, bro. That's legit RB in that Habib T album. And then in the Maid of Honor, that's the, you know, that's the pop, that's the house music, that's the you and your old lady on the beach somewhere in Mexico, you know what I mean, with the uh uh uh speaker by the by the cabana. Right, right. Letting that thing play. So um I think they say Iceman is projected 475,000 first week. Um made of honor, I think it's under that, 120.3,000 first week, and then I beat you right under that 120,000 even first week. So we're talking about 715,000 albums sold first week. What's your thoughts on the tape, man? What's your thoughts on Drake returning? I gotta hear it all, man. What's your thoughts? I've been waiting, man.
SPEAKER_02I've been waiting. You know, he's been dropping, you know, singles here and there, just I guess trying to test the market and see how people are feeling or whatever. But man, I've just been excited. I know, you know, him waiting that long, being in, you know, in the vault in the studio, doing his thing, taking notes. Drake is very calculated.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_02And, you know, some people I think they don't understand. The people that are not fans don't understand.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_02And I loved Iceman shit top to bottom. It's probably maybe like one or two. It's like, yeah. But everything else I loved. Um, I will say one thing I didn't like was just some of the fans, some of the non-fans talking about how Drake biting and Drake, bro, like when Drake is doing a lot of these raps, like uh the the the flow of it, or when he's reciting lyrics, it's paying homage. Right. They put, oh, look he's stealing. Look he look he's stealing. You do you think he's that dumb to quote some like well-known lyrics from, especially like when there's certain genres, or like if it's somebody from the bay when he was, you know, quoting Mac Dre and stuff like that. You think that he he that y'all don't know about Mac Dre? Or y'all don't know, you know what I'm saying, just about legendary stuff? Right. When he when he quoting Memphis stuff in his old rap, like Pops was from Memphis, was in a was in like a rap group, a RB group, something like that. Yeah, he was in a uh soul band back then. You think bro don't understand or just be taking notes and just soaking up the game? Like, come on, man.
SPEAKER_04It's tough, man. When they when they want to see you lose, boys get creative with the narrative. That's that's one thing that I done that I done noticed, bro. It's like, yeah, people saying people like he he only sold 120 on the other albums, man. He flopped. It's just like, bruh, ain't nobody done did 475 rap. You know what I mean? Drake could have just put out Iceman and took the 475, but you know, Drake, which is different than most artists, he got a lot of different genres to like touch when he when he's making his music. Um, and a lot of other people don't necessarily have to worry about that, per se. You understand? He got to touch the rap, he got to touch the RB, he got to touch the overseas, the international, you know what I mean, the uh Caribbean side. Like it's a bunch of different things that he gotta touch that a lot of other artists don't necessarily have to worry about. So it's always interesting to hear like some of the critiques, because you know, but make me think about the Honestly Nevermind album. You know what I mean? The first drop. Exactly. And I was one of the ones like, what is this? Like, what is he doing? I don't I don't understand it. You know what I mean? And then you let that thing sit for a while, you take your old lady on vacation, you take her to Greece, and you're on that boat in the middle of the ocean, and then text turn green, come on, you like, ah, I see the vision. I see the vision. You know what I mean? So I think he covered all bases, me. Um, you know what I mean? Number another thing that stood out, future. Mm-hmm. Throughout this whole beef, you know, people saying future started it, you know, future had Kendrick on the record that essentially sparked the beef, and he was taking shots at him throughout the albums or whatever. Uh I didn't catch that. I didn't. Even when those albums came out, I was I'm listening. Future did not disind on them albums. He didn't. Kendrick did. Metro definitely did, but Future didn't. Future was on there doing what Future does, rapping about what Future rap about. It wasn't you people can't point to no line and say, ah, there it is. He disintegrates. So even if it might have been some tension behind the scenes, I always thought that it could be made right, and I hoped that it could be made right, and that's exactly what happened, man. Uh Ran to Atlanta, one of my favorite records on the album. Uh, this is good to hear Pluto, Pluto and Drake back together, man. What's your thoughts on that?
SPEAKER_02Getting them two back them back together? Yeah. Oh, that's classic, man. That's just, that's just, man. They like one of them undefeated duos. Almost, I know we ain't talking about this one, but with Ross and Drake.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_02It's like every time. Every time. It doesn't matter what it is, bro. And I hope they eventually can work that out with Ross and Drake, but you know, Ross, Ross' gonna do what he can do. He's gonna, he's gonna troll, he's gonna talk trash. Like the minute it goes left, he going all the way left. It don't matter what it is. Yeah. It could be somewhat gray. He gonna take, he just gonna, like you say, if you if it's if I'm, you know, if you're on the fence about him, I'll push you over. And I feel like that's how Ross is.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I mean, that's the disheartening part about it, because Ross didn't have nothing to do with this beef. Let's just put it on the table. Um, he inserted himself in it. And even the guy that he called itself defending, French Montana, he don't have nothing negative to say about that. Like they good. You know what I mean? So it's like you dove in here under that guise, but that makes me think that it's been jealousy the whole time. Yeah. I need that. You know what I mean? And sometimes, bro, it takes an incident for people to show their true colors. Like, damn, you've been feeling this way, bro. Like you going too hard. This ain't got nothing to do with you. And you in here, like, you got a whole campaign going. You got 10 story clips in a row, every interview you talking down, this, that, and the third. And it's just like, bro, these feelings been there. Yeah, that's somebody that's obsessed. Right. Low-key. Because it's like you want that spot, and that's that's what comes with it, man, as far as Drake, bro. He had that spot for so long. This is an unprecedented run in terms of being active for one, and then at the top of the game for two. You know what I mean? People will point to Jay-Z or whatever, but Jay-Z is not active. He's not an active rapper anymore. He'll drop out once every four, five, six years or whatever, and you know, you may get your verse here and there. He's not an active rapper. Drake has been active since 08. So it's like this type of run, we've we've never seen it. But with that type of run, it brings about enemies. And sometimes the enemies be closer than you think. You know what I mean? People you done helped. Like he gave Rick Ross his first number one record on Billboard. You know what I mean? People you done helped, people you done added to their career or helped them out in some ways, man. Nothing beat that envy, though, brother. Nothing beat that jealousy. You know what I mean? We done we done seen it in multiple aspects of life. You understand? You be done done a lot for somebody. And the first opportunity that they got to jump on your neck, like, damn. Yep. That's how you felt? Yep.
SPEAKER_02It seemed like he was trying to backpedal too, just before the album dropped. He was wishing them well and you know, all that stuff. So it seemed like he kind of wanted to get in his good graces. But the moment he heard that he got dissed, it was a rap. He back on the train. He back on the hate train. But going back to you said, like with Future and Drake Man, hey, I mean, just like undefeated. Undefeated. Anytime they collab, I'm listening to it. I don't care what it is. I'm listening to it every single time. Boys today thing. But if you can give, I know you can't just give three. If you can give five, not in order, but give me your top five from Iceman.
SPEAKER_04She um, not in no order. I'm gonna go make them pay. Yes, sir. I'm gonna go Ran to Atlanta. Okay. I'ma go um I'm trying to think of the track list off the top of my head. I've I've been listening to the albums back to back, like all three back to back. So I got my track list down. Okay. But um Janet Shut the Fuck Up, definitely up there. Okay. Like the vibe of that record. Yep. Um, I'm gonna jump to or you said just Iceman. Yeah, just Iceman. Just Iceman. Okay. If you can't, yeah. Um, let's see, make them pay. I like um National Treasure. I think he was talking crazy on that. Um make them cry. Yep.
unknownYep.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'll be my five. Like I said, I love the I love the rapping, like where he's addressing things. I I like that. But then just for that, just for that feel good, like that I'm I'm in the car. That's that ran Atlanta. That's that Janice shut the fuck up. That's that. You know what I mean? I I can't get that Janice hook out of my head. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02I can't get it. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, what about you? I would say the the ones I'll probably switch are like make them pay, make them cry. Um Janice, I I can definitely, I could, it just depends on my mood, how I'm feeling right, you know, at the moment. But uh, what is it? Shebang?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02That's about shit. That's about when I first heard it, the first list that I text my brother, I was like, this, this going. I forgot about shebang, you're right. First list. Right. Uh was it make them make them remember? Make them remember. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's close to the end. Make them pay, make them remember. No, no, no. Make them, make them know. The one that was the one a.m. the first came out 1 a.m. at Albany. Oh, um. It was it was make them make them.
SPEAKER_04Might be gonna make them pay, I think.
SPEAKER_02That maybe make them pay okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What you talking about Braun and Albany. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I got, oh yeah, make them pay, make them cry, shebang, national treasure, make them remember. Gotcha. But then my the ones I could switch out, Janet shut the fuck up and whisper my name.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, whisper my name. Whisper my name. That's what you're shooting at Ross. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's when you're shooting at Ross on that. So yeah, that's yeah. But yeah, man, it's good to have Drake back, bro. I'm I'm I'm just seeing a bunch of moon walking, seeing a bunch of backpedaling, seeing a bunch of we well, we didn't say that he was done. We didn't say it was over. We didn't say that. Niggas trying to bear gag. It was over.
SPEAKER_12Ain't no coming back from this, right? He can't come back. He is finished. He is shit. You never look at him the same. Y'all crazy. Y'all crazy.
SPEAKER_04You talking to the boy. Come on up. Come on. So, yeah, man. Uh, salute to Drake, bruh. All three of them jamming. Made honor. When I first heard it, I had the same thought process as with Honest and Nevermind. But then the more I listen to it, it's like, ah, okay, I see. I see. So it's like that's starting to gain on me. But I'm gonna go Iceman one as far as rankings, a BB2, I mean a BT2. Yep. And then made honor, man. Because I beep T is just come on, game. For sure. That's at the kickback, you got 12 women over, you and the you and the guys, you know what I mean? That's what you put on for that type of environment. You know, it's alcohol going on, it's good food there, it's good vibes, it's good energy. That's what you put on for that. You understand?
SPEAKER_02So even that sexy red track. Yeah.
SPEAKER_12Like it started off and you like, hold on, Drake, hold on. What do you will that second beat come off? Yes. It's over. It's over.
SPEAKER_04That's funny. Everybody be like, man, what do you see in sexy red? It's like her authenticity. Sexy red is her. Don't matter the environment, don't matter the song, don't matter where she's at. She is her. And that's what I respect most about her, too. You know what I mean? You can say what you want about her rapping ability or whatever the case may be, but she is unapologetically her. And in a game where that's not common, you got people moonwalking and backpedaling based on what the general consensus is saying. And you got people that just stood with you the whole time, rock with you, ain't fold, ain't waver, you know what I mean? Salute to the KDs of the world, salute to the sexy reds, Ben the Dons, you know what I mean. People who people tried to pit them against them. Steph Curry held him down in the Olympics, you know what I mean? Salute to everybody that was rocking and didn't jump off the bandwagon because it wasn't cool to like Drake for a little minute, you know. But people doing all that moonwalking, bro, I couldn't do it, bro. I've been listening to Drake since Room for Improvement. You understand? Before all of this. So been along for the for the ride, man, and to see, bro, get back to the to the level that we knew he could get back to. I mean, I just love to see it, bro. That's just my take. Um, we're gonna stay in music, man. We got some stuff happened since last time we parked, man. Ice Spice. We're gonna stay in rap. Ice Spice, uh, you know, New York rapper. Um, you know, part of that new women wave came through there and took over things with a sexy red, with a glow, with a, you know, uh a Meg and all of them like that. Uh recently, she was just kicking it with a homegirl in McDonald's. Right? Looked like it was a late night or whatever the case may be. The video drops, you see a young lady walk up to the table that they're sitting at. That's my first question. Why are you eating at McDonald's? That's that's my first question. But that's neither here nor there. The girl walks up to her table, a conversation ensues. We don't necessarily know what was said initially when the video dropped, and then all of a sudden, she just starts swinging on Ice Spice while she's sitting down. Ice Spice never stood up, her and homegirl never stood up, a homegirl never jumped in to help. Uh the then there's more video that comes out, shows Ice Spice outside, like, nah, where she at? Like, I like I like we got to catch my fellow one in the street. You caught me while I was sitting down, whatever, whatever. So they get the rumbling in the street. And uh, you know, of course, this makes national news. And then the young lady who walked up to the table puts a video out and said, Well, the reason I did it was because I came up to the table. We was just coming in there to just grab something to eat real quick, or use the bathroom, I think she said, and get out. We was coming from the club or getting ready to go somewhere, but I seen her sitting there. I was like, Oh, that's Ice Spice, man. Hey, walk up to, hey, I'm a big fan, man. You you look you look beautiful, y'all look beautiful, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like I'm a big fan. And she said Ice Spice is kind of shunned off. Like, like, why are you still standing here? Like, please move move around. So she was like, at that point, she turned up, like, who you who you talking to? Like, who, like, who you think you is? You know? Okay. So then that's when she they was face to face or whatever, or she was looking down on her, and then she just she said something else lick, she just started swinging. You know what I mean? So um So she left and came back. Cool. The girl. No. This was straight from the bathroom, like all that was like all together. She didn't even make it to the bathroom. Because Ice Spikes never said, you know how you know how McDonald's be set up. Like you walk in, they got the big sitting area, then they got the right, you make to the bathroom. And then only got a couple tables sitting there. They was at the couple tables. So she was on the way and stuff, like, oh, you Ice Spikes, oh, like, oh, you're so beautiful. Okay. Oh my God. And then she said that, and then that when she went, stood by her, like, what you, like, what you talking about? Like, who you talking to? And then it escalated. So they scrapping in the McDonald's or whatever. Um, and old girl kind of kind of punching down on her or whatever. So, you know what it is. And the girl walks outside, she dealt with like two or three other dudes. And when they get outside, Ice Spice talking crazy. One of the dudes that the girl was with starts turning up like he wanted to fight the ice spice. So they you got people holding him back. Sucker. Right. That, yeah, that that right there is nice, brother. I don't, I don't, I don't understand. But yeah, so Ice Spice, even despite all of that, she like, yeah, nah, I mean, I don't care about none of that. I need my one with her. Because she caught me while I was sitting down, whatever the case may be. So they get in the street and get day one. They get to they get the rumbling, get to, you know, scrabbing or whatever. But um, now news has come out that Ice Spice is going a legal route, filing charges against a girl, and filing charges against that McDonald's location for not being Because they didn't step in at all. Right. So people starting to question, like, you're supposed to be a street rapper, why you pressing charges? Going illegal, pardon me, going the legal route. Come on, man. So it's like, what's your thoughts on all of that before we get into the the depths of it initially? Because, and I'm gonna pose it to you this way being a face out here of any type of fame or any type of notoriety is a dangerous thing. You know what I mean? You got people coming up to you all the time. And a lot of times it be love. Right. Sometimes it don't be. You know what I mean? So it's like you gotta be on guard for that type of thing. And we human at the end of the day, too. Facts. You never know what somebody's going through. Somebody might just had a terrible day.
SPEAKER_12Yep.
SPEAKER_04And she had to have it. If you sit in McDonald's eating that late at night as a known face, like it's something going on. You understand? But I asked you, like, what's your thoughts on that whole interaction and like what people who got a uh, you know, a little fan, a little attention gotta deal with in those guards, and how should they handle it?
SPEAKER_02Man, first off, people have to understand that everybody is different, man. I think the best way to approach that situation as a fan in any way, any it don't matter where you are, I think the first way, the first thing to approach is first like introducing yourself. Hey, how you doing? I'm a big fan or whatever it is. Do you mind if I get a picture? Right. Or do you have a second, can we talk? Like, don't just go in and you know what I'm saying, trying to trying to bogard. Now, if that person says no, they say no. Right. Everybody's not gonna be friendly. And again, like you tell like you're saying, you don't know what somebody's going through. Somebody could be just mentally gone, mentally drained, just came from, you know, it could be a concert or whatever it is. She just had to speak to 200, 300, 400 people. Like, that's mentally draining. Like, as much as people may want to be famous, it's still draining to be famous. You have to constantly put on a face and constantly represent yourself in a respectful way. So sometimes people just be, you know, I'm I'm pretty sure in that moment, because she went to McDonald's, she just wanted to have a normal moment. Low-key. You know what I'm saying? She just wanted to be low-key, grab her something to eat, kick it with a partner, and then keep it pushing. Um me, I would probably take the picture. Right. That's just but that's just who I am. Everybody's not like that. Um, some people, not big fans of that. I I mean, I know plenty of celebrities who'd be like, nah, I'm good. Right. Or they're gonna have security and be like, nah, I'm good. We Jose. Right. Jose. Jose step in in a minute. No, not right now. Catch them later. You know what I'm saying? No more. You know what I'm saying? So shout out to bro.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02For sure. But yeah, I mean, so everybody's different, man. And so I think that, like I said, just the best approach would be approaching them, saying that they're a fan, respect them, whatever it is. Can they take a picture? Yes or no? If they say no, you gotta keep pushing. Don't call nobody no B word or they feel like they too almighty or something like that. That's that's not the case. Some people just simply don't feel like taking pictures. Right. And that should be okay. It don't matter how high up you are. So that's what I say. What would you? Because you gotta deal with this.
SPEAKER_04So Yeah, I mean, my my old lady get on me about it all the time, but I don't I don't like turning down pictures or autographs or nothing like that, you know. Um because the reality is that may be the first and last time that person gets to see you. You know what I mean? And if you're rocking with me, if you support me, I'm gonna try to meet you with that same energy, you know. Uh it's a lot of times I'll be tired, I'll be drunk, I'll be ready to just go lay down, I'll be exhausted, I'll be going through something, you know what I mean? But at the end of the day, I always try to pull it, pull it together. You know, it's time in baby out on dates and people like, oh, I don't know, I need to interrupt y'all, but can I?
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_04And you know, I try to do it, you know what I mean? Because for one, this, this um, it's it's real easy to become successful and feel like it's gonna last forever. That's a fact. It ain't, you know what I mean? Everybody got a shelf life when it when it comes to this. So the same people who be assholes or who be like, and I'm not calling Ice Paces an asshole. Like I said, I don't know necessarily what she was going through or whatever, but I'm just talking about in general. Some people, I ain't taking a picture, watch out. Or be rude about it, you know what I mean? But it's like eventually that that window is gonna close. And it's gonna be you walking around and nobody give a damn. So it's like while people still hold you in high regard and things of that nature, yeah. I want to take as many pictures as I can. I done took thousands of pictures over the last couple years. And, you know, autographs and you know, hugs and all type of stuff, you know what I mean? Because like I said, this this window ain't gonna be open forever. And also people who support me make it to where I can live this lifestyle that I live. Yeah, yeah. You know, like it's a lot of people who got podcasts, it's a lot of people who on social media or influence, whatever the case may be, but or trying to be that, but they not as successful. But it's like you one of the chosen ones. You, you know, don't get me wrong, I ain't saying it's like you're just luck, but you know, you one of the chosen ones, and it's like you can't take that for granted. You know what I mean, when it comes to the people who helped you get there. So that be my thoughts. And that's why when I'm tired, I'm drained, I always just try to, you know what, boom, you know, I got you. Or even if it's, you know, around a bunch of people, I'll be like, hey man, just uh walk with me, I got you. Because I don't want to start it and then it's a group of people around trying to take the picture. But if we walk in, boom, real quick, I hey love, man, I appreciate it. Keep it going, keep it moving, you know what I mean? But the same way you going through stuff, and people don't know what you're going through, you don't know what they're going through either, bro. Exactly. So that's why I just try to be nice to everybody. I try to be cordial to everybody. And a lot of times you don't even realize something simple like that five seconds you took to take that picture, that means everything to that person. You may run into them later and they got it, they in a position that could, that could help you. And they remember, yeah, when I met him, he was cool as hell, man. It was late night, man. He took a picture. He was with his old lady, he took a picture with me. You know, so you you you never know who these who people are, you know what I mean? Or who they may turn into, more importantly. So it's like, man, I just try to treat everybody good, man, and and you know, you know, as best I can, bro. But yeah, I mean, as far as that situation, I think it's, you know, I think it's unfortunate. I can't blame her for pressing charge. I mean, she is a woman at the end of the day. I'm a street rapper, all that. I don't I don't really tie that to women.
SPEAKER_02Nah, not my my volume, of course, ain't as much as yours, but like, yeah, when I'm out, it's just it's love. Right. Because, you know, hey, bro, I appreciate everything y'all do. And then, and then like the the testimonies too, because like we we thinking, we sitting here, you know, giving content, we doing our thing, and it's something that we love to do. And so we want to put it on display for everybody to see, but also from the receiving end, like you have a lot of people, like this gets them through their day. Like the laughs and the game that we give and just the wisdom that we share, they really soak all of it in and it really it becomes a part of their life.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_02And they look forward to it. And so when you able to continue to produce content for them, and you know what I'm saying, we just don't know who we be touching and who we really be impacting until they come to you and somebody share a story on how they even found out about you. They with the old lady, they was going through something, and you know, we said it in a way that it resonated with them because it was a lot of guys maybe have said it, it was like a pandering way, but then how we may have brought it up, it was like, damn, bro, makes sense. Right. And then from there, now they both hooked. Now you got a the wife and the husband sitting together watching every episode locked in. That's crazy. That's what that's what I love to hear and love to see. So absolutely, man. Anytime somebody comes and showing love, I'm stopping what I'm doing real quick, taking pictures, chop it up with them for a little bit, and you know what I'm saying, and keep going. But I love it. I love it, and I really appreciate the the feedback that y'all give. Right. Um, the love that y'all show and the support that y'all always showing.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I mean, and and not to belabor it, uh, T.I., this happened yesterday. It was in the airport. Um, you know, like he was he was at the checkout counter, he was on the phone, you know, just trying to get his stuff together. Anybody who've been to the airport, man, y'all know how it goes, gang. You running late. Come on, man. You done uh missed that little 45-minute window to check your bags. You trying to talk to the lady at the counter hoping she throw you a prayer, she ain't, you know, whatever. You checking on your family, where you at, bro? Oh, we at the g- It was like T.I. was handling some business. And, you know, a young lady walked up to him, asked for a picture. He was like, he told, he told he couldn't do it. And she turned it up. That's why I don't mess with celebrities. Y'all think y'all too good, y'all too Hollywood. Uh uh. I'm just like, bruh.
SPEAKER_02Just say you saw T.I. That's all you gotta do. That's it, bro. Just say you saw him. You ain't gotta take a picture all the time.
SPEAKER_04Or you ain't gotta be in the picture. Just take the picture real quick. Cause that happened too. You know what I mean? And I and I don't mind that. I'll give a little way, how y'all doing? And keep it pushing, you know what I mean? But somebody might not have time to stop and take the picture. And then some people don't know how to take pictures right. So you'd be like, all right, I do it. And then, oh, how did I get to my camera? Ah, damn, this ain't hold on. Let's take one. Ah, never shake it. Let's do another one. So what's supposed to be a five-second interaction turning to me standing there for five minutes? You know what I mean? And it's just, and no, no disrespect, because five minutes is small, but in the grand scheme of things, you don't know what that person got going on. You understand? He may be on a time crunch and like, I gotta handle this business real quick before, you know. And it's like, man, some people just don't be understanding of that. Cause they see you how they see you. When they see you, this is T.I., uh, you understand, urban legend, uh, trap music I grew up listening to, and da da da da. And it's just like, all that's great. But it sometimes you just gotta salute somebody and keep it pushing.
SPEAKER_02That's it.
SPEAKER_04Cause that's how I do. Like when I when I run into people who who are celebrities or whatever, I'm like, hey bro, big fan, bro. Boom. Keep it pushing. Made a handshake, whatever, out the door. I don't I don't even ask for a picture a lot of time. You know what I mean? It's just, nah, hey, bro, love what you do, bro. Keep keep going. That's it. Because again, you never know what type of mindset that person is, whatever, whatever, but they but they got the love that you was trying to give them, which is the goal. You know what I mean? But yeah, man, I see her react like that, I was just like, dog, come on, man.
SPEAKER_02But then too, you gotta understand, like, and with some people, one, you don't want to draw a crowd. Right. A lot of times you don't be, you know, you're trying to be, not saying incognito, but at the same time, you're not just trying to be out there either. Right. So you're trying to get to get what you need to get done and keep it pushing. So one, that you don't want to draw a crowd. And two, it's like sometimes, man, you just don't know what to expect with people. Right. They could be trying to set you up. Now it's, oh, let me, let me, uh, let me let me find it, and then somebody come behind you, hit you across the head or some shit.
SPEAKER_04Like, people gotta be careful, man. Or you got people, you got chicks who be doing too much as far as they'll try to take the picture, then they making kissy faces by you. You you married, you got a woman, now this picture is out of this girl with her face this close to your face. It looked like, you know, it looked like something it ain't, but you just trying to show love right quick, but she doing too much. Or you got motherfucker who will bend over in front of you while they taking the picture. It's like, bro, what it what are you doing? But it but it happened so fast, so you can't even police it for real. But now they done got this picture. And so that's why people be hesitant, bro, because everybody don't got like decorum when they coming up. You know what I mean? Personal space, like, hey, look, boom, hey, let's get the you know, some people just do too much. Yeah. And that beat it, man. That's it right there. So, yeah, that's um, yeah, man. I was that was that was that was some wild shit. But some more wild shit. Kevin Hart Rose all over Netflix. Um mixed reviews. I'm seeing some people saying, man, it was hilarious. You know what I mean? And Kat Williams came out, so they done quote unquote buried the hatchet, you know, clearly. If Kat flew all the way out there to do that, um, they done buried the hatchet. And uh, you know, it was a bunch of comedians on stage, man. Salute to Cheryl Underwoods of the world, and um, you know, the uh Tony Henschcliffs of the world, um, you know, um Plastic Cut Boys, um Regina was out there. Chelsea Hanler. It was it was yeah, yeah, Virginia was out there. So salute to everybody that came. Um it was unfiltered, to say the least. You know, you had some people that was coming under fire, Tony Henscliffe being one. Uh his set, in my opinion, classic set, it was a classic set. Uh, but the content of the set, a lot of people didn't like. There's a lot of quote unquote racist jokes in there, and you know, uh lack of sensitivity. They was they was joking on Cheryl Underwood's dead husband who committed suicide. You know, there was a lot of things, but that was yeah, couldn't find out on the back end of that, they were saying that, like, yeah, we called and checked with these people before we told these, hey, I'm thinking of this joke, is that too far? And they was like, nah, do your thing. You know what I mean? So it's like they there's an understanding between comedians that I think general people don't understand. Yes. And that's what causes the outrage. But I just want to get your take on it. What was your thoughts? Do you feel like it was too far or in pocket?
SPEAKER_02Man, it's tough. I think the the only one that really kind of struck my nerve was the joy the George Floyd one. Right. I think, but everything else was I think just typical classic roast. Um roast, for those of you don't know, like roast can go as dark, as dark. But that's the point of the roast, because it makes it more funny. It's like the more almost like it's like the more the truth is, and the more you like exaggerate the truth with being witty and with just the the layers and all that stuff, like that's what makes the joke more funny.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_02You know what I'm saying? It's similar, similar to, you know, rap and just poetry. Like the more depth you add to it, the more context you add to it, it makes it just funnier.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_02Um, that's the only one because I was like, man, that's it was a good joke. Yeah. But I'm like, hmm.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02That's the only one that had me like, ooh, that like that one, that one is the one that's probably gonna get, you know, people talking. Yeah. Everything else, I mean, you talk about the colors, you know, they brought Draymond in because uh to balance out the color with Cheryl DeWitt, like okay, you're gonna you're gonna get some of those. But at the same time, at the same time, I'm just biased. I mean, I I get it. It's different coming from us versus the white people. Right. That's just what it is. Like it's a lot of shit that they can say for their people or whatever. Like it just it it wouldn't hit the same if it came from us. 100%. You know what I mean? So that's the that's the only thing. Uh but I mean everything else, I mean, I thought it was I thought it was hilarious. Uh, I definitely enjoyed it.
SPEAKER_04The Rock was funny as hell. He came out there, dropped him off.
SPEAKER_02The Rock was really dressed.
SPEAKER_12Okay, let's talk about that one.
SPEAKER_02He was acting a damn full of that, bro.
SPEAKER_12Okay, a couple of those moments, I was like, all right.
SPEAKER_04He's just too far.
SPEAKER_12Cut bro off. Yeah, take the mic. Sit on my lap, go have soaking my ticket. Like, bro.
SPEAKER_04But that's how him and Kev play though. Like, that's if you on Instagram, that's how they do. When they shooting a movie, it go that far. They be talking crazy to each other, bro. Yes. So it's like, I think people got to see it on the man on the grand stage for the first time. They was just like, what the fuck is going on?
SPEAKER_02That's like, yeah, because seeing some of that too, like, that reminded me of me and my brothers. Yeah. And my wife hates it. Like, she was like, why?
SPEAKER_12Like, why are y'all so mean to each other? We not. It's love. Like, we just it's love.
SPEAKER_02Like, we just, I don't know. It's just how we talk to each other. We make it, I don't know, we make it funny and then like you'll you'll make the joke, be like, ooh, right. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm not sure. But that's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_04It's a dude thing, though. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. Because it that was the thing about the Kevin Hart Cat Williams thing. People taking other, oh, Cat Williams up there talking crazy about him, and blah, blah, blah. Let's just like, yeah, that's that's how comedians interact with each other. It's not a, hey, how you doing, brother? It's a no, everything is jokes. Everything is on the table. And especially if y'all had some little issues, we're gonna joke on that too. It ain't nothing off limits. You understand? So it's like Cat came in there and did exactly what he was supposed to do.
SPEAKER_12And Kev, when it was his turn, he did exactly what he was supposed to do. Talking about I can't act. That was dead with that. Right.
SPEAKER_04So yeah, man, I think, you know, I think we just in a just real sensitive generation, bruh. I often think about like Bernie Mack, if he was, you know, here today and at the top of his game, man. A lot of them jokes, even from the uh Kings, when he was talking about the bus drive and stuff, bro, it would get canceled. That stuff wouldn't work today. Richard Pryor. Done. Oh my God. You understand? Like robbing hairs, all the jokes they was telling. You be like, bruh. So it's like that's just the generation we in. So on one end, I was happy to see them say, fuck all of that. We're gonna do what we do. Whatever comes from this, come from this. As long as we got the understanding with each other, which they did, it is what it is. You understand? So, and um They was shooting at Chelsea too. Yeah, they was on her all night. Lord, Kelsey was catching so big. Lord have mercy. They was on her all night. Um, but yeah, man, I think it, you know, I think it was dope though.
SPEAKER_02Um But and one more thing, too. But thinking about like the most recent roast that was big was Tom Brady. Right. That shit was funny too. Right. And they was killing him. Talking about the wife and the kids, all that. Bro, I'm just saying, man. It's nothing is off limits when they had them type of roast. And they have to understand that. It's some stuff you may get uncomfortable with, and I think that's a part of the comedy.
SPEAKER_04Part of the game. You know what I'm saying? So it's like if you dish it, you gotta take it. You know, just like Dave Chappelle, a lot of stuff he jokes about. They try to cancel him for every time he drops a special network, they try to cancel him for something else. But it's like, that's comedy. That's what it is, that's what it's always been. You know what I mean? But it's just, you know. Uh, but speaking of roasting, going back and forth, Stephen A. Smith, Jalen Brown recently ran in, ran into some issues. Uh, Stephen A was on first take after uh Jalen Brown and blew that 3-1 lead, got sent home. Jalen Brown puts out a statement that says, this probably my favorite season being a Celtic. Um, for those that don't know, Jason Tatum was hurt a lot of the year. Jalen Brown had to carry the team a lot of the time, you know. So he got to showcase the side of himself that he never really got the chance to do. And I think that's what he was speaking to. Um, but you know, Stephen A took that and was like, bro, this like the timing of that is just not good. Y'all just blew a 3-1 lead, and then you choose the season that Jason Tatum is out for the year to say that that's your favorite season as a Celtics. Like, y'all just won the championship, you just won finals MVB, and you saying that that's your favorite season. Like, make that make sense. You understand? So then Jalen Brown hears this, and they their relationship has always been kind of rocky anyway. But Jalen Brown hears this, and then he responds to it. We're gonna play what he said, and then we're gonna break it down.
SPEAKER_08A good take of kind of helping understand of why athletes or why I started streaming in the first place. I think obviously I might be early, but I think chat more people will uh more people will start to to see the same sentiment. You know what I mean? Because the the the the media the media platforms or the normal traditional markets have all turned their revenue to like creating clips through controversy. They uh they generate their impressions through polarization, and that takes away from you know actual journalism. And that's exactly what ESPN does, that's exactly what First Take does, and that's exactly why Stephen A is getting paid to do what he does. But chat, we ain't gonna talk about this all day. Long story short, man, fuck Stephen A, Stephen B, Stephen C, his vocabulary, his delusion, his his attire, um, and his his like his necessity to serve these higher ups. Like, man, I ain't trying to hear none of that shit. You know what I mean? You want me to be quiet? I think a lot of people want you to be quiet as well. You know what I mean? Like, like, chat. I don't even know. Y'all ain't gonna get me started. Let's let's move on. Moving on.
SPEAKER_04All right, cuz yeah, in the midst of that rant of Stephen A getting on him about, you know, questioning why that's his favorite season. He also told him, man, you just need to be quiet, bro. Y'all blew a 3-1 lead, go home, get the offseason together, get the team back uh uh uh centered and come back out next year and try to do and try to do better. But Jalen Brown is a part of this new age athlete to where they're creating platforms outside of basketball. And a lot of traditional media is having problems with that because for one, you know, it's threatening their position, which they've kind of had a monopoly on for better part of how long ESPN been around? 30, 40 years, something like that.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_04So, you know, a lot of them feel, you know, a bit threatened when these athletes are creating platforms for themselves and things of that nature. Uh again, not saying Stephen A feels. Stephen A's at the top of the mountain as far as sports commentary, but I'm just talking about in general, a lot of those traditional um, you know, uh thought leaders in the genre get a bit uncomfortable when the Draymond Greens of the world and the Michael Parsons are the world and the Jalen Browns of the world, and you know, people like that, Paul Pierce, uh Paul Pierce, Paul George, you know, a lot of these guys got platforms, and you basically told them to be quiet. And Jaden says if you want me to be quiet, then you be quiet. So what's your thoughts on the whole back and forth, man? Who right, who wrong? What you thinking?
SPEAKER_02Bro, I think Stephen A is Stephen A.
SPEAKER_04Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_02Uh Stephen A has not changed. He's been doing this since we've been knowing him. Um I think Stephen A is a very smart individual and he has a way with his words. He's articulate, he is he has a big personality. So, you know, the things that he does say, of course, when you put a little emphasis on it, when you be a little animated, like it makes it a little bigger than what it is. Right. Now, of course, he had years and years of journalism. So a lot of stuff that he says is backed by uh evidence, but also at the same time, he also is very opinionated. Right. So sometimes that can get a little convoluted in that. And now with this particular instance, was making it what it is is the fact that Jalen Brown got a platform. So instead of just Stephen A just talking and just being who he is, now the athlete is actually coming on to a platform and responding and it's getting impressions and it's getting to Stephen A's doorstep. Right. You know, a lot of people not, you know, not used to that. You know, Stephen A used to do that with KD. Right. And you see KD will respond. Everybody is not. You know what I'm saying? Everybody is not gonna be quiet. Especially if you were one of the one of the top dogs, they're gonna have something to say. And they always bring back, you know, like, you can only do so much because of what you've done. You can only say so much because of your career and you know what you did and stuff like that. So um I think the athletes, they you know what I'm saying, they live the life. So you can be as as a peenated as you want, but you don't wake up and do what they do 24-7. You don't have to live their life. You don't have to be on the road, you don't have to lose sleep, you don't have to catch flights and you know what I'm saying, you gotta travel three hours, you know what I'm saying, across the world, three plus hours and lose sleep, and then you gotta play a game, you gotta back-to back. You might have three, you know what I'm saying? So you gotta the mental preparation that you that you have to get ready for each and every game, on top of playing playoffs, and you got off season, like it's just so much that goes into what these athletes do and I don't know, man. Like it it at some at some some aspects I definitely agree with Stephen A. You know what I mean? Like when when he used to get on Kwame Brown, for example, that's a perfect example I can think of. Talented dude, but it was just certain things that he just couldn't translate consistently, you know what I'm saying, on the court. But you know, now, the years later, you understand like the pressure that he was under and the the just anxiety and depression and just all type of stuff that these athletes be going through. But when you reporting on it, you just report on it as they should just be a superstar every single game. Because that's what they get paid to do. When that's not the case. Like, as a journalist and as person's ESPN, like, yeah, you're gonna deliver a good product, but you're not always good either. You're not gonna always have the best takes, you're not gonna always be right. So, I mean, if somebody was was greating you, it would be, you know, similar. So now you just have the opportunity to where athletes can talk back now. And Jalen Brown is a smart dude too. So it's not like he's talking just out his ass. Harvard graduates. You know what I'm saying? Draymond Green, smart individual. As much as people may not like him on the court talking trash and all this stuff, that's a smart dude. So I don't know, man. It's just it's hard because especially too, you don't want to see two black men going at it. Another thing. You know what I'm saying? You just you just want to see them. Like if they was both going at it without quote unquote beef, it would be cool with me. But it I feel like it's always, especially when like Stephen A is involved, it's like a beef has to get started. It's not just people just simply disagreeing. Like if it's skipping Stephen A. Or if it's shannon in Stephen A. Like, why can't it just be what it what it is without it wanting to translate further?
SPEAKER_04I think that falls on the athlete's shoulders, in my opinion, just in what I done seen throughout it. I think Stephen A is pretty much Stephen A is the type of guy who's gonna call it down the middle, typically. Now, now also what I think a lot of athletes don't really understand or know that's could be a benefit to them, is if you build a relationship with a Stephen A, he's gonna look out for you. Facts. You understand what I'm saying? But it's like if you hear a take that he says and you don't like it, or whatever the case may be, there's nothing wrong with having a platform. You could just go there and say, yeah, no, I mean, bro, he had it, he, he, he had it all wrong. Like, this is what I was thinking, this is what I meant, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know, and and and don't get me wrong, I'm gonna call Stephen A, man. We're gonna, you know, get on the phone and chop it up about it. Like, there, there's ways to handle things. But when you come out and just say, man, fuck Stephen A, B, C, fuck what he wear, fuck with it. It's just, okay, nah, that's that's emotion right there. That's not intellect and that's not debate. Because he seemed like he would sit down and have that conversation with you. He said all the time. He every everybody we name, KD, Kyrie, he told them all. He's like, bro, y'all got issues with me, but you feel like I got something wrong. He said, I'm not perfect. I'm not gonna get a story right all the time. Sometimes a store a source may tell it to me wrong. But if if I got it wrong, call me. Y'all got my number. Like, y'all know how to get in contact with me. Right. But they don't do that. They go to Twitter and tweet emotionally or go to a podcast and speak emotionally. Instead of just keeping it business. It ain't like Stephen A. say, man, fuck Jaden Brown, nigga, a scrub, he's terrible. Like, man, his family is trash. His daddy wasn't in his life. Stephen A don't even talk about people's personal lives like that for real. He talks about the sport. And when you play a sport, you opening yourself for critique. It's just like this podcast. If we get in front of these microphones and say some shit that's crazy, we gotta be open to the responses that's gonna come from it. The critiques that's gonna come from it. If you don't want it, stay home. Don't play. But that's what you're signing up for. These people got jobs to do. I'm not saying some people don't take it too far. Right. And get the dignity of your personal life and throwing little shots here, you know, like to shut up in dribbles and all of that type of stuff like that. That's that's okay, that's personal stuff. But I don't believe Stephen A does that for the most part. I think they just expect some kind of loyalty from Stephen A because he's a black man who done elevated to the top of the totem pole. And it's like, bruh, you understand our plight, look out for us. And they write about that. Right. But it's like that conversation could be had on a phone call before we just jump to the media and just go full disrespect mode. Even when Braun pressed him at the game. I didn't I didn't like that optic. Yeah. I I didn't. But he knew what he was doing. Of course he did. Because you can't if you Stephen A and Stephen A shoot, it's nothing you can do in that moment except be like, you know what, all right. Because it's like, what am I gonna do? Like, because just like Braun got money and people rock, Stephen A got money too. He got people that love him too. Like, you know how much it costs it people can get things done to people in a very easy fashion when you got a whole lot of money. You understand? So that that don't mean nothing. But it's like, bro, you 6'9, 260 tiring over somebody who 6'2, 160 pounds, maybe. Over but keep my son's name up. Your son is an athlete, brother. That's what he signed up for. That's what you signed up for. You've been getting critiqued your whole career. If you don't want the critique or you don't want your kids to be critiqued, keep them away from the game. Let him go be a uh uh accountant or something, somewhere the way he don't gotta deal with that. But you can't press somebody for critiquing your son's basketball ability when he's a basketball player. So it's just people just be too emotional, bro. And and I and I guess because I'm kind of void of that emotion that I feel like most people have, I always see it through a through a through a different lens. But like I say, it's different if somebody has malicious intent for you. Like I'm trying to end you. I'm I'm bringing up scandal that nobody done know about. I'm coming to the media with, yeah, we seen such and such last night out the club. He married, he was out there with three chicks last night, blah, blah, blah. It's affecting his game. That's something different than if you done went out there, shot three or 18, and blew a 3-1 lead, and I come in and say, Yeah, man, he, yeah, man, he wasn't focused last night, man. He's gonna have to A, lock in, bro. You played terrible. It just says what you didn't deliver for your team. And they was dependent on you. You supposed to be the leader, you dropped the ball, you failed. That's fair critique.
SPEAKER_02I think too, if you think about it, is it the messenger or is it the message? Man. Because the message, for the most part, be spot on. But it's his delivery, like I said, he be animated and you know, you know, all that stuff. And so I think that definitely plays a part in how they be receiving what Stephen A says.
SPEAKER_04And here's the thing I can't even shoot him bell for that because we all got an uncle like Stephen A. Yeah. We all got a family member like Stephen A. Terrible. Who loud, animated, but you know it's rooted in love. It ain't malicious. We laugh at him like, man, go ahead somewhere, Uncle. I ain't got time to do it. You're gonna exaggerate a little bit, put a little extra on it. That's the energy that I feel like Stephen A gives off. I've been watching him for 20 years. You understand? He doesn't give off malicious. He gives off the time. And these athletes that say it. You talk to the Matt Barnes and the Steven Jackson's and all of these guys, and they said, Yeah, man, when I first left the game, Stephen A, the one plugged me in. He put me in the door over here and helped me get the podcast rolling, Shannon Sharp. When everybody turned his back on him, Stephen A said, nah, bro, come on over here. I got you. Boom, when he left FS1. Stephen A be do be doing a lot behind the scenes, but that don't get blew up. Don't get blew up when he says something that you don't like. And then it's like, oh, you're a sellout, or you this or you that. And it's just like, bro, I can't respect that because that's emotional behavior. You may have a point in terms of like if you disagree with his critique or something, sure. But you got a platform to express that.
SPEAKER_11Yeah.
SPEAKER_04That's just like if somebody says something about us. Like we get to come on the pod the next week and say, yeah, okay, boom, they said this, this was wrong. I mean, this this was right, whatever the case may be, but you can't say that because blah, blah, blah, blah. It's it's ways to handle it when you're a grown man like that and not caught up in your emotions. A lot of these dudes be caught up in their emotions, bro. Yeah, I just wish they just handled things better.
SPEAKER_02100%. At the end of the day. That's you know what I'm saying. I think people are much rather seeing that and seeing stuff being resolved versus the constant back and forth. Because at some point you just be like, all right, all right, though. This tiring, this draining, this, or again. Right. You know what I mean? It'd be like that. So I just hope some people can just really exercise patience and emotions. You know what I mean? And just stop reacting the moment they see something, or reacting because somebody sent you something. That's what set people off too, because somebody is sending. You may, you may feel a certain way about it, but then two, three people send you, oh, you see what he said? You see, hey, I wouldn't, if I was you, I would. And they gas you up instead of you being like, no, this is what he means, or I don't think he mean like that, or like you said, let me make that phone call and let me talk to myself and see what he really means.
SPEAKER_04That's what grown men do. And especially us, because we got a lot to lose. I'm talking about us. We got a lot to lose, bro. We we don't have time to be beefing with each other over unnecessary stuff. Disagreements are gonna happen, but it's ways to handle it. If you got that man's number, if y'all follow each other on it, DM him. Hey, bro, here goes my number, call me. Simple. You understand? But when you're emotional, you run to social media first and say things. Or you run to this person and say things instead of talking to me. You got people who have a problem with you and they'll talk to everybody around you except you. Everybody. And it's just like, bruh, if you would have just came to me, I could have told you that this wasn't that. I didn't mean this like that, bro. I I would I said that I meant this. And it's, ah, damn, bro, I ain't even know. Okay, damn, I'm sorry. I didn't know that was a five-minute conversation. They ain't trying to hear that though. But because they caught up in their emotions. They already believe whatever they believe.
SPEAKER_02100% ain't nothing gonna change it.
SPEAKER_04So that's what ain't gonna come to you. And it's like you don't know that person's capabilities for you to just be burning bridges like that. Especially somebody like a Stephen A. Like, he's the biggest draw in sports commentary. He knows a lot of people, he's connected to a lot of people. Why burn that bridge if it ain't absolutely necessary, bro? That's what I be thinking. You understand? Because like the older you get, bro, I'm I'm 36 now, man. It reacting off instant emotion, them days is over, bro. We got families and kids and mortgages and shit. You know, we got we we we got stuff to do. I don't have time to be out looking for nobody in the street or grabbing a pistol and going to try to beat somebody up. Bro, I'm a grown man, bro. We gonna disagree, and if we disagree to the point the way it's just like, all right, we can't rock with each other, then that's that. You go your way, I go mine. It ain't gotta be no throwing salt on nobody's game or trying to mess with somebody's pockets or mess with how they feed their family type stuff. You understand? But you got dudes who are emotional. They'll try to take all the food off your kid's table over a simple disagreement or a simple misunderstanding. And it's like, I can't rock with that. That's not how grown men move, bro. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I got I got one more question for you before we move on. How do you feel about the I don't want to call them threats, but it's kind of threats. Like when he'll, like Steve Nales say, well, don't make me tell you what such and such said about you. Or don't make me, you know what I'm saying? Like, what do you say to that? Like, is that right, or is that, you know, is that justified?
SPEAKER_04Like Well, it's it's it's it's it's flash dancing. Because it's like you done, you back me into a corner to where now if I don't respond with some type of bravado, my manhood is is taking a shot or or taking a hit. You understand? Even when Stephen A say that, I still don't believe that he's that kind of guy to do something like that. To really dig up some dirty laundry, dirt, and come to I'm first take with it. Yeah, I found out we we did some research, and you know he could. You know he could do that. Because he knows a lot of people, bro, ain't nothing to whatever y'all, whatever y'all favorite club is or whatever, if Stephen A called in and said, hey bro, can I uh get them cameras when such and such was in there? They gonna give it to him. So it's like if he could have did that, he would have been did it. He's been in this thing for 30-something years. And I don't want to sound like I'm defending him because Stephen A fucks up too. He he has some takes that I don't agree with. Sometimes I'm like, hi gang. But again, it's about all right, we just disagree there. But but when he does things like that, it's because of somebody that says something like what Jalen Brown said, or what Kevin Durant said, or what Braun did. Because when you approach the man at a game like that and stand over Ty Rogan, that's threatening too. But again, you get people know who to do that to and who not to do that to. Because that could turn into some real shit. If you're dealing with somebody who don't have as much to lose as Stephen A, and you do something like that, and you done you done bitch me in front of 50,000, 60,000 fans, and that's on ESPN and all this, that, and the third. I know some niggas right off the top of my head who will handle that very differently. And then we'll be reading news clippings, like, damn, man, it didn't have to go that far, man. We gotta stop the violence. But but that's what you open the door to when you do stuff like that. So it's like you can't jump out there and be disrespectful and challenging people's manhood unless you're willing to go all the way with it. And the problem is a lot of these dudes will not be willing to go all the way with it. And I'm not saying, I'm not talking about brawn, I'm not saying whatever. I'm just talking about people in general, black men in general. It's ways to handle things. We don't gotta jump out the window and try to stick our chest out and be over-aggressive, try to punk somebody or try to do things like that because everybody ain't going. You may be able to get that off on this person, but you try that with this person, and now you laid up in a hospital or worse somewhere. Handle shit like gentlemen, bro. We can disagree, get on the phone, or even if we gotta do it, have a little scuffle. It's between the hey, bro, let's look, bro, I'm gonna call your phone, call my phone, bro. I'm gonna come over there and holla at you. It's that. But all of the, you know, when you flash dance with somebody, they're gonna flash dance back. And that's what Steven ain't doing when he's doing that. Man, don't make me go into my roller decks and da-da-da-da-da. Cause he don't want to look like no bitch.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_04But it's like, you know, you backed him into a corner. Now I ain't got no choice. So, yeah, man. I mean, it's tough, bro. But all right, we're gonna stay in sports, man. Um, there was some leak messages that came out. Uh it was a young Caucasian lady. She was talking about her uh, let me just read the tweet. This is from Halen M. Tell me why my roommate sister is giving her a full tutorial on how to secure a top athlete in wealth. All my sister gave me was some condoms and $200 for college. So this is a group chat. So I'm gonna read some of the messages for him. She was saying, uh, this is a quick. If she's like us, it'll be harder because more than likely she's playing to win him too. You gotta make him choose. Number three, be an asset to him. Fold his clothes, buy and bring him his food, do his homework, completely integrate yourself in his life to where he can't function without you. Number four, don't embarrass him. Don't cheat, don't text other men. His cute friends and teammates will try you. Ignore it. Just in case the relationship goes south, another out another athlete will see you as gold. Number five, go completely wild on him in bed. Use throat spray, do any and everything. Be spontaneous, make it go down anytime, anywhere. Um, he is the prize. Remember, he can change your life. You can't change his. Number two, when you're dealing with cheating, don't look for it. Girls will throw themselves at him and some will succeed. If it's just a fling, let it go. But don't let him get emotionally attached to one of them. P.S. He'll always be attracted to black girls. Uh activate that shenane. Hold on. Wait. Activate that sanayana in her. Hold on, I can't even see the message. But let him activate that sanayne or something. And if he sees, oh, okay. If you activate the sanayne in her and he sees it, he'll ditch her quick. So basically provoke her to turn into sanayne and ignorance and all of that, and then he's gonna he gonna walk away from that uh anyway. Number six, his mom, Lexi, do not tell his mom any personal information, especially something negative. She will tell his entire family and he will blame you. Just smile and wave and be quiet. Number seven, always look good and appealing. Hair and face always has to be done. Push for marriage or at least to have multiple kids, and you got them. In two years on draft day, you'll be a millionaire, and all your friends will work hard in school to literally never live the life that you live. It's so sweet and rewarding, Lex. I'm in Cancun right now. So sickening. She was, you know, they in college, and you know, I guess her sister's dating a guy who's, you know, how, you know, he's he's that guy on the football team or whatever the case may be at a major school. And she gave her the blueprint on how to bag him. What's your thoughts on that all? Sickening dog. Boy's feastless.
SPEAKER_02Because, man, I just want I want these young men just to understand and to be careful. Like you really have to be careful. That's what on the other end, I can't I can't blame men for those that won't like polyamorous type of relationships. I can't be mad at them for it. Because if I choose one, you're gonna be faking the funk for two and if you bro, if you really look at it and do the research and just be paying attention to like a lot of these athletes two, three, four years and they be gone. It's it's common. They do it far too often. They get you with a couple kids, you gotta pay child support, you gotta pay them. Like it's all this extra stuff that you have to pay because you was in love. We we I think men love too hard. And men will get sprung, especially if naming all the stuff that she named. For a man that's that's trying to come up and and and get himself together and all that stuff, absolutely. Right. That's one to get got because you doing all those things for him before he gets to where he needs to be. So you you you in a sense, you with him shooting in the gym. You doing whatever he needs. You cooking for him, you cleaning for him, you giving him sex on demand, you, you know, are real good around moms and the family and things like that. You doing almost like you being the perfect girlfriend. You're not talking back to them, you letting them cheat in peace, like all of that. And then three years down the line, four years down the line, and boy, get that big contract, and now all of a sudden y'all having differences. Switch flips. You know what I'm saying? Medium. Now all of a sudden you you see in the attitude, you see in the talking back, or you seeing her being nonchalant or being quiet, she going distance from you, she not talking, she not opening up, all of that. All of a sudden, it's because hey, the time is up. And she knows that she has all the leverage. And especially, especially if you put a baby in her. Once you put that baby in her, bro, you lose all leverage. Because she makes, she is the decision maker, whether she keeps it or whether she don't. And then she can toy you along and say, Oh, you know, I'm thinking about it, I don't know, you know, I'm not ready to have a baby, but then, you know, I think a baby be good for us, or is it against my religion to not have a boy? It's all the tricks. And you are at her mercy. Yes, sir. So, fellas, please, please be careful, especially those like super successful, bro. You really have to be careful because, again, like they'll put on a facade for so long. And I think a lot of men, just the average, a little slightly above average men, look at those type of instances and think that that's gonna happen in their life. Which it could. But I mean, the the chances of it, I don't think are as high as you being like a high profile person. So all the rappers, the athletes, all of those, for sure. For sure. And then some of them it's like, well, I make the paper, so it's whatever, is it's you know, it's dispensable, you know, whatever. It is what it is. But that's not the case, bro, because y'all gotta look at things long term. Y'all creating these dysfunctional families, you not in the household, like that woman is running, doing whatever she wants to do, or she didn't have, now she didn't, you know, had your kids, she'd had another athlete kid, she had another rapper. So now she got three incomes coming in just off of y'all being silly and goofy. So y'all really have to be careful because these women, they will play the game. They will be sweet to you, they will look good, they will do what they need to do in bed, and they got you. And a lot of them fall for it every single time.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I mean, I think, you know, a lot of the women in other races is playing chess when our women playing checkers. You know, I think that's what it boils down to. Um, you know, I done heard a lot of them women say out their own mouth when I was at Trinity, and your they would say that, you know, we're taught to come to college to find our husband. Whereas black women are taught to come to college and get an education so they don't need a husband. And just that mindset right there is the difference. And that text message thread of her teaching her sister how to bag something, that's in alignment with that, right? The education is secondary. If I can land a dude who's going to the league or making a million, or he ain't got to go to the league, he's about to be an engineer or a doctor or something like that. Like the same rules apply. But it's like they're going in there with that mindset of like, how can I make this man happy? How can I please this man? How can I just not get in the way of this bag that's coming to me eventually?
SPEAKER_02They would get a degree and not work.
SPEAKER_04100%. Just do nothing. Seen it happen. Being taken care of with a degree at home. Bro, I know somebody right off the top of my head. I ain't gonna name him. But uh masters. Ran into a guy. He ain't even an athlete. He's a I ain't gonna say what he is. He in he in finance. Um quit that job five years ago. They traveling across country. They, you know, two, three houses, you know, yacht, bunch of different things. You understand? She ain't worked in five, six years. So it's like that's the goal with them, you understand? But I think also the starting point is very important. And that's why I say our women is playing checkers a lot because we're still in survival mode. Um, you know, it's like Maslow's theory. Nipsey talked about that a lot. You know, if you look at that Maslow's theory pyramid, it's like, you know, the higher level thinking and all of that stuff is at the top of the pyramid, but at the bottom of it is the necessities: food, clothes, uh, rent being paid, things of that nature. And basically what the what the theory is speaking to is that a lot of us can't even think toward the top of that pyramid until we clear the basics first. And we're struggling with the basics. So we're not even looking down the line like that. To whereas a lot of women of other cultures, other races, they they starting point on that pyramid is a lot higher than ours. So they not scrapping for survival type of thing. They scrapping for luxury, they scrapping for access. You understand? So that's the difference. Um, but you know, that's gonna boil down the fathers being in the home more. That's gonna boil down to us creating more stable family units, things of that nature. I'm not saying I want our women to have a hunter mindset, but I'm saying I don't want our women in survival mode as much as we are now. You understand? Because not only does that affect them, but that affects the man that they eventually get with as well. You understand? You got women who are out here bragging and beating their chests about being independent, and I don't need a man for nothing, and I do this and I do that and I do that. When the reality is we need each other, bro. But if you're coming into the relationship with that mindset, I may be a good dude and I may be wanting to take care of you and do all of these things, but when I'm with you, you trying to do my job for me. And if I'm a dude with some kind of substance or some kind of cachet, it's only gonna be so long before I move around. And and once if I would have stayed and worked with you through all of that stuff, you might have been dope as hell on the other end of that. But it's like a lot of dudes ain't got patience to stay there and climb out of a hole that that he didn't dig. You know what I mean? So I just, you know, I just want us to be thinkers, bro. I want us to be, to be able to get out of survival mode so we can actually see what's going on out here, bro. And that's it go deeper than even this, bro. It's it's is politics, is, you know, uh uh uh politics on a grand scale, politics on a micro scale at the job, different things like that. We be letting our emotions trick us out of our destinies, bro. We just got done talking about emotions and how it's a lot of dudes in jail right now who could be a Jeff Bezos, who could be, you know, some of these people who are in these Fortune 500 companies. Same with our women. It's a lot of women who their emotions got them in a situation now, they got three, four kids and they can't elevate as high as they could have if that wasn't there, right? Because they was emotionally damaged early and then boom, now I got all these kids. Now this is prohibiting me from being that doctor that I could have been if I would have locked in and and been more confident in myself when I was younger and things of that nature. We we're dealing with a lot of hurdles when it comes to us. Right.
SPEAKER_02And everybody don't have those because you do have those exceptions, but at the same time, a lot of people don't have the infrastructure for that.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_02I know uh I know a few classmates of mine that had kids in high school, 16, 17, 18 years old, but they had like a solid family around them, so they was able to go to college, get their, you know, bachelors, get their master's, some of them. You know what I mean? So it's you gotta be careful because everybody can't take those chances. And it's if you ain't and speaking as you're talking about, like if you don't have that foundation and you don't have that right structure around you, you're doing that by yourself. So yeah, you can't fulfill your dreams. You can't put yourself first. Because everything is gonna revolve around the kids. 100%. You 20, 21 years old, you got two, three kids. Bro, you done for a while. Especially when you don't have no support. I can only imagine. Come on now. And that's why someone be having attitudes because it's like y'all stressed. That's the Bible. Y'all are stressed. Kids crying, they hungry, you trying to make ends meet, you know what I'm saying? You don't have nobody reliable around you, really.
SPEAKER_04And men praying on you because of your situation.
SPEAKER_02Yep. You know what I'm saying? So, yeah, man, just be careful, man. Please, please, please, please be careful. Be in y'all kids' life, really preach to them and understand the consequences of, you know, doing certain things like unprotected sex. Right. You know what I mean? Even just be careful, man. Cause even when you have sex, it's a chance that the condom can break. 100%. You know what I'm saying? So just really, really be careful what y'all do, and and I hope that y'all just instill in y'all kids, just being solid and and and being able to make decisions on your own. You know what I'm saying? Cause um they had an incident. I'm sorry to go off topic real quick, but had an incident in Beaumont recently, bro. It was it was a kid that got killed, 18 years old, about to graduate. But there was a big fight at the park. What's somebody do? Somebody pull out a gun, choose one of the kids. Bro, couldn't even make it to prom. Just before Mother's Day. Jesus. You know what I mean? Like, I I I sincerely hope that you have a kid that ain't trying to go out there, ain't trying to follow. Because back in the day, that was a thing. Oh, we all gonna fight well? Oh, bet, bet, bet. Ain't pull up a hundred deep to see a fight. But it ain't the same no more. Everybody is not raised the same. Some people are scary. You come out there, you ready to fight, they come out there armed. Right. And they ready to take you out. Not thinking, or just scared of being embarrassed. Right. You know what I mean? So, yeah, man. Y'all just y'all just be careful and just tell y'all kids, man, like shit like that they can stay away from. Because I'm pretty sure that more people could have been involved, but they chose not to go.
SPEAKER_04100%. 100%. I think, bro, we we need each other. And I think that gotta be hammered home. You know what I mean? It's nothing wrong with going to school and trying to better yourself, getting a degree, getting a good job, things of that nature. But that should be done with the mindset of I want to find somebody like-minded and we build together. That shouldn't be done under the mindset of I'm doing this, so I don't need a man. Same with men, right? When I'm going there and trying to elevate and get all of this money, it's to take care of a dope ass woman that I run into along the way on this journey. That should be the mindset. She dope, she a thinker, she, you know, Educate got her paper too. We combine our shit and now we, you know what I mean? That should be the mindset. But I think, man, because a lot of us is in survival mode, the mindset is I want to be successful so I don't need anybody. When it should be, I want to be successful and get into these rooms so I can meet somebody on my level and we can build this shit even more. And then pass it down to our kids and give them a higher starting point on that Maslow's pyramid than a lot of us have. And that's the point that we got to get to. And until we get there, we're gonna keep having shit like this go on, bro.
SPEAKER_02And and and being established, that's that's cool. That is cool whether you believe it or not. Like, even if you gotta go to a trade school, you done 19, 20 years old making paper, paper, HVAC or pipe fitting, like whatever it is, but it's so many different avenues as a young man and a young woman that you can come out and just be successful. I know um you got, for example, like right now a lot of girls are are doing hair. You got girls 19, 20 years old thinking, bank, doing hair. Own business. You know what I'm saying? So I mean, it's it's many things you can do, man, and just if you put your focus in, you put the time, you put the effort in. Like it's cool to be able to have your own, start a family, and just and just constantly be successful and then set yourself up and then set your family up. Like that, that's dope. That's a beautiful thing. Not just, you know, partying all the time. Like, that's gonna come. And I know, you know what I'm saying? That's like, I feel like I'm I'm old saying that because, you know, when you was young, you heard that. Right. But that shit is true. That shit can wait because the earlier you become successful, the more time you have to play. Facts. At the end of the day. You know, we just be so ready, especially when you're young, you just ready to get out the house, you're ready to be, just do your own thing, not listen to any adult. You think you're your own man, you know what I'm saying? Until life smack you in the face. Man. You know what I mean? So if I had to say anything else, that would be to the to the to the young kids, or if y'all got kids that watch this or want to share it with them, man. That's that's what I would say for sure. It's just like it's it's gonna come. Work on yourself, establish yourself, spend them extra few years, get your degree, get your certificate, whatever it is, trade, and then you can, you know what I'm saying, have as much fun as you want after the fact. Right.
SPEAKER_04Well, we was talking about boss bees. Women out here chasing and and getting to it, man. It's another clip that we've been supposed to get to, but I gotta tap in, man. Salute to my girl Paige. Uh she was talking about some things, man, on a podcast with her man. And uh we're gonna we're gonna hear it, we're gonna break it down.
SPEAKER_07I think one of the biggest lies that women have received has been the last 20 years circulating. I'm a boss bitch, I'm a bad bitch. And I bought into it. So I wish I hadn't bought into that because it made my life hard. And it made me hard. I don't even know who the soft girl is because it's built around this lie of being a boss bitch. I want to be a boss bitch, that's hard and it's mean and it's ugly, and it makes me doesn't make me feel good. I want to be soft and warm and tender, and I want to be loved.
SPEAKER_09It's cool that you're a boss in a sense, but at the same time, when you're in a relationship, and one thing I like about our relationship is that you I'm the man and you know I'm the man in the I'm I am.
SPEAKER_07But before you, this is not.
SPEAKER_09But once again, that's before you actually so when you when you got to think of woman who's independent and especially taking care of children, and there's not a man to rely on that you got to be the boss. You're the one that got to take the garbage out, you're the one that got to do all the manly stuff or whatever's supposed to be there, uh, bring home the money or whatever, put your kids through college back to the city.
SPEAKER_07I can be a woman and do that without having the the whole mental behind a boss bit is that I can man up to you, I do.
SPEAKER_09Like I said, you don't have draws with dick holes in them.
SPEAKER_07I said you ain't gotta I said you ain't gonna stop it, but you don't have a dick.
SPEAKER_09Right? I don't like it and and and and and so if I'm the man, I'm the man, you're gonna have to let me be the man.
SPEAKER_07And then I I acquiesce. All right, and because that's what that's the relationship that I want.
SPEAKER_09That's the relationship, and that's the relationship you have, that's the relationship we we have right there.
SPEAKER_04So again, man, salute to my girl Paige Turner, man, killing shit out here, man, doing her thing. But she was speaking to the fact that she was tricked into being a boss chick or whatever the case may be, tricked to try to match a man or beat a man at his own game and things of that nature. She said that it made her life harder instead of easier. You want to speak to that dialogue, or what you think about that?
SPEAKER_02Bro, I think we need as best as we can. I know everybody can't do it, but as best as we can to try to help change that narrative. But one, I think that starts with us as men. Like we have to which we're doing though, we're making progress for sure, is being more in the homes, just being more available, spending more time with our kids instead of just either not being in the homes or just work, work, work, work, work. Right. You know what I mean? Because a lot of times it's it's for the most part, it was one of the two. It was pops were just always working, he was never home, or he just wasn't there from day one. Right. So I think finding that balance where you can come into the home, be in the home, and influence your kids and raise the kids and set a good example and they see how you treat mom, they see how you're treating the family, they see how you know you raising the kids and things like that, like that, it starts there. And then from women, it's just watching a lot of the males that are in your life as well and seeing the things that they can do and finding a man like that, instead of like we talked about before, just trying to build a man up and trying to find a man who fits the physical aspect and then you trying to make them be somebody who they're not. And that's that's not gonna ever work. You know what I mean? So I think it's just gonna take us as a collective to get rid of the old narratives. Um for sure, women like taking a step back and realizing that we are nothing without y'all and y'all are nothing without us. We have to work together. Like you can still be a boss, but also be soft and feminine. Like you don't you don't want to wear that boss hat to where it bleeds into the relationship and messes up your relationship because you also see that. Like it'll be a cool, calm, collected dude. You know, he may be successful, she's successful, but again, she may be single, might have a kid, might not, whatever it is. But she's been raised to I can do bad all by myself. And at the end of the day, I don't need you. Right. So that's the attitude they come in with. It's I don't need you. I got my own spot. I got my own house. I bought this house without you. I got this car without you. So what do I really need you here for? So I think once that, all that narrative, you know, goes away and we understand that we do need each other in order to be successful and to thrive, I think then, you know, we'll be in a beta better position. But again, I think it starts with us first as men.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I agree. I agree. I think that a lot of women who are successful and are independent and got a boss chick mindset, I think they finding out what men learned a long time ago. Success is a lonely thing. It is. You understand? Like it's it plays with your mentality, you're gonna lose family over your success, you're gonna lose friends over your success. A lot of your past identity and the things that you used to be able to do, places you used to be able to go, you can't do, you can't go anymore. It's a lonely feeling. Because you go from having that sense of community where everybody's struggling together and trying to figure it out, and y'all, you know, there's a bunch of kinship there and a bunch of companionship there to somebody elevating or you elevating. And now, in order for me to keep elevating, I may have to leave somebody behind because they're not on the same type of timing that I'm on. And if I stay here and keep trying to drag them, I'll never get to where I'm trying to go. And that's what they find out when they get to 40, 45 years old. Damn, I ain't had no relationship. I ain't got no kids, I ain't got no, ah man, I'm I'm in this incredible loft every day. I'm driving this AMG Benz and I'm by myself in it. And that's what a lot of men learned early in the game. You know what I mean? And then we start trying to find a woman who can come in and be that companion for us and things of that nature, but by that time, you done got to a level to where you jaded with the game. You know, you you don't trust people and things because you've been spending so much time by yourself. That's not a good thing. And that's what I mean when I say we need each other. We wasn't put on this earth to be by ourselves. We wasn't. And ain't no amount of money gonna fix that, ain't no car gonna fix that, ain't no house gonna fix that. That dream is sold to people who ain't touched no success yet. But when you touch it and you realize, damn, the problems don't go away, I just get a whole new set of them. Facts. That's when you realize, nah, I need somebody with me. I need somebody to go through these ups and downs with me. I need somebody to help me to make these decisions. And it's like that's what that's the point she hit. But luckily, she was able to find a dude who was, you know, willing to come in there and break that wall down and to allow her to trust him. They go back to what you said about that's where men come in at we we set the standard for that. You know, a lot of men want the soft version of a woman who they never met the safe version of him. And that's what I mean by that. Like, she's never met a safe man. She's never been able to just kick her feet up. She's never been able, you know what, you got it. And things go well. Every time she did that, it went bad. So now she's jaded for that. So when, you know, you wonder, damn, why she ain't soft? Why she ain't more feminine, why she, she never had the chance to be. Because every time she tried that, she fell on her face. So it's like, nah, forget that. I'm gonna do it myself. I'm gonna, I'm gonna make sure it happened. Even when you run into a solid dude capable, you you stepping on his toes, trying to make sure it go right, trying to make sure it happened. And he was patient enough to be able, you know what, I understand your background, I understand what you've been through, but I'm gonna show up here every day. I'm gonna be consistent every day. I'm gonna do what I say I'm gonna do every day. And eventually that wall comes down, and then you'll have something beautiful because she's feeling safe now because you done created an environment for her to be that way. But that's just what it boiled down to. That whole boss chick stuff was a lie. It is a lie. But it's a lie on the opposite end. Turns of us, go out here and make all this money, go do this, go do that, da-da-da-da. That shit ain't fun when you're a billionaire by yourself. Gotta pay women to have sex with you and things. I'm talking about when you get older and all of that. You know, it's a lot of dudes who are up million, a bunch of millions right now, 60 years old, 65 years old, they gotta pay escorts. Not even to have sex, just to spend time with them. I know some of the escorts. They say, yeah, he paid me. I know a chick made $15,000 and he didn't even touch her. $15,000 just for her to come kick with him for a night and have a conversation. That's how lonely that success is. And that's what a lot of people don't understand, bro. That's why you gotta try to weave in, find your, you get something solid for as a woman, cuff that and get out the way. Nurture that, pour into that, build with that. You don't want to be out here 65 years old with a with a whole lot of money, and you can't go to the clubs at 65. You understand? Like you out here hunting at 60. You look like you look like a damn fool. So it's like, nah, it we both got lied to. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02To your jaded point, too, also, you also don't want to be tricked out your spot. Because some people will focus so much on their career that they don't date. Right. And so when they finally do date, nah, it's like they just gullible and green. And you got somebody with a little mouthpiece, or you got somebody from a male perspective, you know, you may meet a woman that's attractive, and then she just lure you in, and then she do you wrong. Right. But that comes from you just only focusing on building your future. Green is great. You ain't trying to interact with women. You ain't like none of that. You barely have conversations with them. The only times you may do is like in a boardroom or in a meeting or something like that.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_02Outside of that, you're not having no conversations with them, you're not friends with none of them, like nothing like that to really learn who women are and what they're capable of. So, yeah, all that man is, I mean, you just gotta add to your toolbox so you can be ready. Um, to when you find that woman, then you'll know. And you'll be able to decipher who's playing around with you and who's not. Right. Like, why she haven't texted you in two, three, four days. That's not your woman. That's not the one that's for you. Because the one that's for you is gonna a woman that really likes you is gonna check in all the time. She's gonna you almost gonna be annoyed by how much that woman wants to be around you and wanna talk to you and all that stuff. Like you too busy liking this woman more than she likes you, and you checking in on her, and she don't want to be around you. But you don't see that. So then from her aspect, Aspect for the ones that may use you, it's like, okay, I don't want to be around him, but you know, I know he's gonna pay this phone bill.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_02I don't want to be around him, but he's gonna take me out to eat. And you know, I ain't been nowhere nice in a while. I ain't got dressed up in a while. So you just have to be careful with that, but really take your time. And there's not, again, there's nothing, men and women, there's nothing wrong with chasing your passion. If you, you know, trying to get this degree, master's, this high profile job, whatever it is. Nothing is wrong with that. But find some balance on the other end too, to where you just don't get played. Because I know a lot of people be in a high position and dating somebody that's nowhere near that level. It's like, what? You talking to this person? And I'm not trying to hate, but it's just like, y'all are just, you know, you want to talk about equally yoke. That's not equally yoke. And then you pursuing and working so much to the point where you feel like your time is ticking, and so you just selling for anything. And that's what you don't want. You don't want to be close to the end of the road and just dating somebody just to have somebody, or because all your friends married, now you just want to have somebody. You want to bring a plus one to the function or whatever it is. No, show up by yourself. Right. It is what it is. Or if it's just somebody that's casual, show up with somebody casual. You can still do that. It don't have to be somebody that you dating or you quote unquote call yourself dating just to date. Right. Like, you don't have to do all that, man, because that's how you set yourself up. That's how people become baby mamas, baby daddies, all that stuff, just because you just trying to settle. Well, it don't, it don't even take all that.
SPEAKER_04100%, man. This shit ain't uh finding the love of your life ain't something that I I'ma get around to. Right. It ain't that. It gotta be some priority on that. Same way it is, priority of chasing what it is that you're chasing. I'm not saying more, but I'm saying you gotta put some priority on that because you do not want to be out here 60, 65 years old. I know a lot of dudes, bro, especially when I was in corporate working with them dudes, man, we'd be sitting chopping it up, and I'd be telling them how long how long we've been married. Say, oh yeah, man. I remember them days, man. I was looking back, man, I should've, damn, damn, I should have like fought for my relationship. If I could go back, bro, I would have like fought, fought for my marriage harder, man. And, you know, I was so ready to get out. You know, we had been together 15 years, 16 years, whatever. I was just, I was just tired, bro. And I was like, man, but now I'm looking back on it, she done remarried, she got kids and different things like that, and I'm still single. You know, I was I spent more time at work than I spent at home. And it's like, I'm this the game I was getting at 21 when I was at Enbridge. Right. You understand? And I'm like, damn, I wasn't even, you know, married then. I'm just like, damn. Okay, you know, so that kind of shaped my mindset because as men, we do have that urge. Like we we get that money, we want to go outside and floss and ball and do all of these things. And I don't want to be tied down. I don't want nobody telling me what to do. I don't want to be restricted, nothing. I want to go do what I want to do. And a lot of times we'll fumble a good ass woman in the process of doing that. And then you done, you, you thinking in your head, okay, I can I can get that back eventually, whatever, whatever. And then you look down the line and she done married a whole new dude, happy as hell, two kids, doing their thing, traveling the world, family, like real, you know what I mean? Things that have real substance. Meanwhile, you still at the club trying to catch something. Yeah. It's like, nah, hell nah. You in the got somebody solid, you fight for it. Do what you gotta do to make it work. And when you, and we, when it's real, like she's gonna understand.
SPEAKER_02You still gonna, you're not gonna be able to lose your identity. You're still gonna be able to do the things that you wanna do just within reason. There you go. That's all it is. Key word within reason. Within reason. I can still go out with the boys. I just can't go out with the boys every single Friday.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_02Once once a month. This is my Friday with the boys, or whatever it is. Like, it's just within reason, man, the right woman is gonna understand. She's gonna know that, yes, you're taking care of home, but I also understand that you gotta have your time for yourself too.
SPEAKER_04Right. So simple as that. Alright, man. We're gonna we're gonna play one more of these, then we're gonna get to the QA, man. We got some, we got a lot of questions on the Q ⁇ A. We're gonna we're gonna do a few of them, and then we're gonna save a few for the next part. Ain't no way we're gonna be able to get to all of these. Um, but the first one, though, the last clip of Study Hall. A woman was giving her opinion on what ruffles women's feathers the most. I'm gonna play the clip. I thought it was interesting, because you know, we two guys sitting here and we have our thoughts on what ruffles our feathers, but she's speaking on what ruffles a woman's feathers. I'm gonna play it and we're gonna break it down.
SPEAKER_09What view do you have on marriage that ruffles the most titties?
SPEAKER_01It is my responsibility to meet my husband's needs. And a lot of people, women, this is one of my biggest issues, man, with fucking social media and women being so number one, you take things so personally. And like, I get it, it's part of our nature, but like also just because I say my husband's needs are my responsibility does not mean that he doesn't see meeting my needs as his responsibility. Right. But I'm talking from the lens of being a woman. I'm not gonna speak for a man. It's just not my role. It's my role to speak on what is true for me, which is my husband's needs are my responsibility. And people ask questions like, well, what if you're tired? What if you're stressed out? Like, what better thing do I have to do at the end of my life? Right? Say, oh yeah, I definitely am happy I neglected my husband for a decade because I was more worried about all the other things I've outsourced all my energy into so that he doesn't get the best version of me at the end of the day, he gets the worst. Like if your marriage is that important to you, if your partner means that much to you, if you love your partner the way that you say that you do, then put your money where your mouth is, put your energy where your mouth is. And the reasons that I tell women specifically, you have to learn how to take care of yourself is so that when he comes home, you're not anxious, overwhelmed, burnt out, frustrated, and he gets that from you. It's because you're patient and you're calm and you're excited and you're joyful and you are you missed him and you want to be there for him and you want to welcome him home and you love watching him walk through the door and you like you've already got dinner made and you're just there to nurture and take care of him. Like I see it as such an honor to be able to take care of my husband. If you don't feel that way about your husband, I don't understand. I genuinely don't understand. Your husband is somebody that you can't wait to get away from. I don't understand that. I don't, right? Like you married the wrong person or you've become somebody that you didn't used to be. And maybe this is because you've outsourced all of your self-esteem into achievements and being a people pleaser and taking on more stuff than you actually have the capacity to handle and you've got your priorities completely out of order, that your husband, instead of being your marriage being at the top, it's me, me, me, my work, my career, because I have to make sure that I have my own stuff and he becomes at the very bottom of this. But the hypocrisy is well, if he wanted to, he would. If he wanted to take care of me, he would. If he wanted to do this thing, he would. No, he wouldn't. No, he wouldn't. And you expect him to go out of his way to give you everything because I want a man who's six five, makes six figures, like blah, blah, blah. I'm entitled to that. But I also don't have to see taking care of him as a responsibility for me. Meanwhile, you expect him to see that meeting all of your needs and all your desires and all the material things. Expectation of your expectation of him. Like the hypocrisy is is insane to me. Be the person that you'd want to be with. If you want a man who's willing to take care of you, be the type of woman who wants to take care of him. Period. You give what you get, you get what you give. And so, like, again, the double standards here, there are double standards. I think some of them are necessary. That's totally fine. We can talk about that another day. But as this conversation stands, if you as a woman want a man who would literally go out and and conquer the world for you, be the type of woman that would do the same for him. Your roles will look different, the way it shows up is different, the responsibilities you carry, right? The sacrifices you each make, very different, incredibly complimentary. And that's what builds a fulfilling, safe, strong, fun, playful, exciting, purposeful present marriage. So if you're about that, I would say we're probably aligned. If you're not, and you just want everything to be me, me, me, you and I will have nothing in common.
SPEAKER_02Jesus. Come on, man. Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_04That was beautiful. Whew. She said, Yeah, it's my responsibility. That was beautiful. To take care of my man. And she says when a lot of women hear that, it kind of ruffles their feathers. Kind of makes them feel away. Kind of like, oh, it brings about, you know, slave conversation. It brings about uh pick me conversation and things of that nature. But she says, I don't give a damn about any of that because I married him, and if I want him to do everything that I want him to do for me, I gotta be willing to do everything that he needs me to do for him. Sounds like simple math to me. What you think, oh? What's your thoughts on it?
SPEAKER_02I have never heard it, I don't think I've ever heard it put that way. Like she explained that like to the T. And a lot of times, you know, we'll have these conversations where we say from the man's side, well, you want me to do this, you want me to take care of the bills, you want me to help with the kids, you want me to we start listing them out, and then when we say, Well, what are you gonna do for me, now it's being sassy. That's immediately what they go to. Oh, you being sassy, you trying to be, you trying to be quite like a a a woman, and it's like, no, that's you know what? That's because you don't have no comeback for that. That immediately is what you go to. Instead of listening to what I'm saying, you want to flect and go immediately to insults.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_02Like that's not helpful to this conversation. And so, and but like we say all the time, if if I have a woman, if I'm doing all these things for a woman, like whenever you whenever you're able to reciprocate that for me, like we said, we'll be we'll run through a wall for y'all. We'll climb the highest mountain, can't go to space, but we're gonna find a way to get to space. Like we're gonna do all those things for you whenever we feel that that type of love is just being reciprocated. Like when you pouring into me, when you see that I'm having an off day and I tell you that, you know, everything is alright, but you're not trying to hear that. And you saying, no, I hear what you're saying, but something not right. What's going on? Talk to me. I'm listening. Like when you're able to really create that space and and just make things simple for me. If if I'm always helping you with certain things, like how are you helping me out in the morning? Like, do you have my work bag ready? Like, you know what I'm saying? Are you making me coffee in the morning? You know, I'm I'm helping get the kids together, you know, I'm I'm doing bringing the kids to school. Because as men, especially I'm talking about the active fathers, like those type of men are gonna do anything and everything to alleviate whatever's necessary for our woman. We don't mind carrying most of the load. Right. That's just what it is. I don't want my woman stressing, I don't want her worrying, I don't want her tired. So I'm gonna do whatever it is possible, I'm gonna move my schedule around so that she don't have to do all these extra things to feel like she's overworking herself. So, with that, if you see a man doing all that stuff, how are you then reciprocating that energy? And it's beyond cooking, it's beyond cleaning, it comes from like support. It's beyond buying some clothes. Like, how are you really supporting him and and helping him elevate? Like, it'd be the small thing, well it yeah, it's small, but it'd be the small things like if you know your man is, for example, he just started a a videography business or a photography business. Like if you know he's been taking care of things around the house for Father's Day, you buying him a new lens, or you're buying him a new camera, or you're buying him something that's gonna help him be more successful, because why with more success for him, it's gonna be more success for you. Simple math. You know what I'm saying? It's just things like that that not all women, but there are quite a few women who don't look at it as that. The next step is, well, why aren't you doing this? Why aren't you, you know what I'm saying, doing more or something like that. But it's like, baby, hey, if I was able to have XYZ, then you definitely wouldn't have nothing to worry about. So it's just, yeah, it's just that that extra support and like she was saying too, what like ready to not be around him. If I don't want to be around you, you you're not my person. Like, yes, you might get on my nerves, but I don't think there's ever a point where I don't want to be around you unless I don't like you.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Yeah, I mean I think I I think that speaks to like a lot of women marry a man just to check a box off their list. It's not necessarily because I love him specifically. Um, and that's why they have such an issue catering to that man. I also think women are unfairly measured by their ability to get married, and that kind of causes them to get to a look, I just want to be married more than I care who's in this spot until that gets old. Right? Or until I get tired of them, or until I got the benefits from the situation that I want to get, and I'm much more willing to leave. You understand? Because you got dudes who show up to the marriage and they solid, they're doing everything they supposed to do. And wake up one day and she says, you know what, I'm not happy here. And I want a divorce. That happens a lot. And people don't talk about that part of things. It's typically always the man did something foul, whatever the case may be, but nah, it's some women who just wake up one day and say, you know what, I want more. I'm looking at Instagram and my friend is in Dubai. I'm looking at Facebook and my friend is in Greece. We can't even travel to Miami. Yes, you are doing what you're supposed to do. Yeah, you're working hard, you're coming home, you you you know, you're rubbing my back and taking care of kids, helping homework, cutting grass, taking out. You do you doing everything you're supposed to do, but I just want more. And I think that speaks to the to the fact of some women's husbands are just a box to check on their list. Because when you love somebody and when you get married, that's what you're signing up to do. Like your livelihood is in my hands. It is what it is, because that's that's marriage. It it's just like a basketball game, bruh. Like some nights I'ma score 30 and we gonna win. Some nights all I got is 15. Can you show up and score 30 so we can get the win still? Come on now. That's the difference. When you married, that's the mindset. Sometimes I'm gonna show up to that house tired as hell, drained from work, all types of shit. I ain't got 100% to give today, baby. I got 30. Can you can you give me the other 70 today? I swear to God, I got you tomorrow. And and vice versa. That's what marriage is. So if you're not willing to make that type of a sacrifice, you shouldn't be doing it. Especially for no um, you know, uh uh aesthetic. And that's what it'd be. It's an aesthetic. You want the ring, I want to go on Instagram, I want to take pictures at my wedding, I want this, I want that. What do your husband want? If I can ask her that, she get offended.
SPEAKER_02Then I got no choice. No say-so. Don't let them try to uh have some type of saying on the wedding. I don't like that color. This is the color I want to wear. This was the color you're wearing. Right. That's the key. Is this my wedding? I mean, is this your wedding or is it our wedding?
SPEAKER_04And for a lot of women, it's her wedding. It's her wedding, that's what I'm saying. It is what it is, you understand? But also, that's why it speaks to men to be a bit more patient when we choose in women. Because at the end of the day, we hold the key to the marriage. We do. Without us dropping down on that knee, the marriage ain't happening. So we gotta be a bit more realistic in terms of how this woman is gonna translate. Because one thing about selfishness, it doesn't pop up out of nowhere. She's been that way. She was happy to be there because she was fine. Or, you know, because of how you, the reaction you got with her being on your arm, a bunch of superficial reasons. But it wasn't because she was selfless and she was inclusive, and that she made your house a home when you walked into it. That ain't why you married her. So we can't expect to drop down to that knee and all the uh she's gonna just magically turn into that. So, nah, you know, and again, I'm not blaming men for it all, but I'm saying we play a big role in that shit as well. Yeah, we don't vet the way we need to. I need to see you in every season. I need to see you when I'm up, I need to see you when I'm down, I need to see, I need to see you in every asset, or every aspect of this life that we about to embark on. Because 40 years is a long fucking time, brother. And it's gonna be a lot of things happen. It's gonna be parents pass away, it's gonna be kids may pass away. One of us may lay. I need to know how you gonna react. Are you gonna still respect me the same? Are you gonna still believe in me the same when I lose that job, that that that six-figure situation I had, and now I'm back at 70, now I'm back at 60. You're gonna still respect me the same. And if I can't walk down that aisle knowing that, I'm not marrying you.
SPEAKER_02That's a fact. That kind of reminds me of just recently, uh, Pastor Keon and his wife, she was talking about how they were talking about showing up, and they was having like a candid conversation because there's nothing they really talked about. But she was saying how on Sundays, when she when he preaches, she doesn't really come to him for for much on Sundays. Because she knows that a lot of his energy gotta lock in. He gotta lock in for that. So she was like, you could be a negative for all I know, but I just automatically know I gotta show up more for you on this day specifically, for sure. If I don't know nothing else, I know Sundays, I gotta lock in more because I know the work that you have to put in. And I was like, man, that that speaks volumes, and that's that's just super dope that she can be just aware and not bring things to his doorstep, but bring things to his attention because she knows everything that he has to do on Sundays.
SPEAKER_04And that's that's real partnership, that's real comparison, that's that's understanding nobody bigger than a program. What that man out there doing is creating the lifestyle that we have. Ain't nobody bigger than the program. That's why I love my old lady so much. She the same way. On show days, she knows that I'm gonna be a little more quiet, I'm gonna be a little more reserved before she's gonna make sure I eat, she's gonna make sure I get my nap and things of that nature, so I can get up and turn into who I need to be. When I walk out there on that stage in front of 5,000, 4,000 people. She don't make it about her. She can have a grievance or anything. You know what I mean? Don't bring it up. Try to argue with me before I go on state, none of that. She she creates the space for it, and that's why we was talking the other night. She was like, baby, I'm so proud of, you know, I'm we got chose to go do Invest Fest, man. Salute to uh Earn Your Leisure, man. Uh my boy Ian to uh Invest Fest, man. We're gonna be out there. But basically, you know, we you know, we put up the the the flyer after they sent the invitation and things that nature we was talking, she's like, baby, I'm proud of you. I say, you know, she said, you did it. I say, no, we did it. And I I mean that genuinely. Facts. Because when I was on that road three, four days a week, you was with me for a lot of them. She was here making sure kids were straight. She was here making sure this house ran the way it needed to run and things of that nature. Without her doing that, I wouldn't be able to go on the road and do it. Facts. Facts. So nah, I didn't make nothing. We did it. You understand? And that's what partnership and that's what companion is, is sacrificing. It's just because it's gonna be things that your old lady wanna do. To where you're gonna have to step up and she normally does help, you know, the kid with the homework. You're gonna have to help them that night. She normally does iron the clothes and get the lunch packed together. You're gonna have to do that that night. Because she locked in and doing something that's important to her. And that's what marriage is being humble enough to understand the moment, read the moment, and know what I need to do in the moment to make sure we get from point A to point B. That's it. That's the mindset. We'll figure the rest out when we get there. But I'm not getting in the way of the car, I'm not getting in the way of the mission, getting in the way of the plan. We're gonna do what we gotta do. Even if it's uncomfortable, even if I don't like it, even if I would rather be doing something else. That's what marriage is. So if you ain't ready for that, stay your ass single. Simple and plain.
SPEAKER_02So we got Q ⁇ A, man. Man. Q ⁇ A, my favorite part. I'm still, we still waiting on, still waiting on some names from y'all, man. Um So we we working on it, waiting on y'all. So let's see. Which one? I'm gonna go any, meeny, mighty mode. Uh-oh. All right. I ain't gonna say your name. But it's a young lady. She says, why is it so hard for me to leave when I know I'm settling?
SPEAKER_04That is a that is a humble question to ask, man. Um and I'ma answer the only way that I that I know how. I think it's because your confidence level is not where it needs to be. You hadn't done enough. Work on yourself, you hadn't accomplished enough on your own. And I don't know you, but it sounds like a lot of what you deem as success or happiness is tied to somebody else. Because once you hit that confidence level and once you done become accomplished, and once you done been through that fire, them ebbs and flows, and know that I'm gonna be alright, I'm gonna be good regardless, you start choosing different. Certain standards, they become way more firm. Boundaries, they become way more locked in. If you don't fit within these boundaries, if you don't fit within these standards, I will happily walk away from your ass. I don't care how happy we are together, I don't care how much fun it is, I don't care how good the sex is, I don't care how you how you make me feel when I'm around you, you are violating my boundaries and my requirements of what I need from you, not want. I need it from you. And if you're not giving it to me, I'll walk away from you. That's what confidence looks like. We say it all the time. Confidence and and and you know, things of that nature is not what you have. It's in what you're willing to walk away from. Yes, sir. And that's the thing. A lot of us, we'll stay through disrespect because we don't feel like we can find better. We'll stay through somebody, you know, treating us like an option because we don't think we can find better. We'll stay through neglect, abuse, because we don't feel like we can find better. But the reality is you can find better. But everybody around you can tell you that all day long. But until you look in that mirror and actually believe it, ain't none of that gonna matter, gang. You're gonna be in the same spot, in the same situation, dealing with the same bullshit that you've been dealing with. And that's what it boils down to. Your confidence level is not where it need to be. We need to figure out how to get that up. And when you figure that out, you're gonna notice a drastic difference in the type of people that you entertain. That's a fact.
SPEAKER_02I feel like that's shit, that's where you wanna be. If you know you're selling and not trying to do nothing about it, you clearly are comfortable. You know what I'm saying? And going back to what you said, it's it's that confidence and it's just that that sureness about yourself. Because like the old saying, you know better, you do better.
SPEAKER_04But And you ain't trying to do better right now. True. True. And and as you're talking, I was I was thinking of an example, right? Like growing up in our neighborhood, I knew a dude who was cool as hell, but he used to get bullied a lot. Okay. People used to bully him all the time. They used to used Yeah, they used to bully him all the time, man. I'm talking about just crazy shit. And I'd be sitting there trying to stop it when I was there, but when I wasn't there, you know. But either, or I would talk to him, I'd be like, bro, why don't you just swing on dude? Like, what you he say, man, I'm man, I'm I'm scared to you, bro. Honestly. He said, honestly, bro, I'm just I'm scared. He's gonna beat me up, bro. He gonna beat me up. And I was like, dawg, you'll never know until you find out, brother. Like, but if you don't fight or you don't swing on him, he's gonna keep doing that to you forever. That that ain't gonna stop. Like, we done all had to go through that. This is what I'm telling. I'm saying, bro, we all went through that. Facts. Until that day we decided, you know what, hell nah. But until you pick that day to say, you know what, hell nah. Let me go find out what I'm actually made of. What I'm actually capable of. And he did it. He did it. He got whooped, though. But he did it. And he dude never bullied him again. So sometimes we may want to do something, but we so scared because we've never done it, or we so scared of what the outcome may be, right, that it paralyzes us from even wanting to try something. You know, like we we we want different, but we scared, like we terrified to try. And that's what I was thinking about as as you were talking. So even in her case, it's like I'm terrified that if I let this man go, it may be another five, six years before I find somebody that I like.
SPEAKER_02So what? There you go. So what? If but but that makes you stronger. That makes you more settled in with who you are. That makes you you have to now look yourself in the mirror. You can't lean on somebody and and and use them as the crutch. There you go. You gotta look at yourself, be like, what can I work on? What what do I want? And what do I need to work on to get what I want? And it it starts with the end. It starts with the end. Like you said, man, it it's some people who may know that they can beat you up. Like using what you said. They may know that they can beat you up, but they know they're gonna be in for a hell of a fight. So they not gonna go there. You know what I'm saying? So, because it could go left. So now that you're fighting back and and and you standing up for yourself, it's like, nah, I don't I don't want to deal with that person because they're not gonna quit. I may knock them down, but they're gonna get up. I knock them down again, they're gonna get back up. I knocked them down again, they're gonna get back up. So you just gotta keep, you know, it's just it's just that confidence within yourself. And and also she had another question that was right to that. So they had been together 11 years. Gotcha. So that's another thing, too. So tenure. It's it's tenure. That's nothing that's holding them down, too. Tenure. 11 years. And she said, I know I'm not advancing in my relationship. So why is it hard for me to leave?
SPEAKER_04Tenure. Like we talked about pause previous. Tenure of the relationship is never more important than the quality of it. But we we become prisoners to tenure. We become and not even just in relationships, friendships too. Dealings with family as well. Like we become prisoners to tenure. Just because I've been knowing you a long time, that means that I should deal with however you treat me. Whatever disrespect you come with, however you talk to me, I should just accept it because I've been knowing you a long time. Knowing you a long time ain't got a damn thing to do with nothing, bruh, if I ain't getting treated right. Is what it is. People start over every day. Whether it's in a career, whether it's people moving across the country to a new city, a new state, I gotta go start from scratch, meet new friends. People start over every day. But you gotta ask yourself, bro, like, is it is it more comfortable for you to be miserable for the rest of your life than go through some temporary discomfort and possibly run into the best situation you'd have never had. That's the risk. With everything. Damn a relationship, career, same thing. You got people who have been at a job 10, 15 years. They know that they deserve better than a job. But I've been here so long. It's a it's a devil that I'm comfortable with. I know that my intellect and how I move and how I deal with people, I could thrive over here if I just rolled the dice. But most people scared to roll them dice, brother.
SPEAKER_02Facts. You gotta be, you gotta be okay with being by yourself at the end of the day. And sometimes some people are just they've been used to dating and dating and dating and dating and relationship after relationship that they don't really ever spend time by themselves. And so you'll see if you happen to break up, if you're in that relationship, like start doing things by yourself. Appreciate yourself more. Like just go to the movies by yourself, go out to eat by yourself. Just start doing more things by yourself and just understanding who you are and the things you like and dislike. And then after that, then somebody can come along and and compliment you or join you on what you're doing. But until then, like, yeah, man, you gotta spend time by yourself, just enjoying yourself. And that's I think you'll appreciate your next relationship more because you'll be more settled in who you are. 100%. And you'll realize, like you're saying, you'll tolerate less. You'll know, I don't want this, I do want that, like all of those all of the checklists or whatever, you'll be more comfortable and you'll be more firm in.
SPEAKER_04And not to cut you off, that may inspire the person you talking to to step up. Come on. Because they know now it's a real risk of losing you. And I don't, I don't want that. I was just taking the the low-level pathway that you was clearing for me. But now that that pathway is closed and I'm forced to either elevate or lose you, I'm gonna, I'm gonna I'm gonna try to do a little better. And maybe that may bring about that, but without that confidence, they're gonna keep doing what they can get away with.
SPEAKER_02While we here, real quick, because that's not about a good question. Y'all are together, let's say you in year 10 or whatever, but your other partner now wants to aspire for a little more. They feel like y'all been stagnant as a couple. You've communicated this. Make sure you've communicated this. You feel like as a couple you've been a little stagnant. Now that person wants more. Is it wrong for the other person to not want more? What's what's the more that we want?
SPEAKER_04Like just an example, just throw an example out there.
SPEAKER_02Um Just want to live a better lifestyle in general. But like a new house, better car, things like that. Yeah, we we've both been, you know, so we've both been at the at our jobs for 10 years or a good tenure. But now, like, okay, we have a we live in a nice apartment, but now I want a house. Or I have a a good car, but I want a better car. I'm just I'm ready to like take my lifestyle up a little. Um, and you're saying, is it wrong for the other person not to want to elevate? The other person's like, well, why why why we need a house? The house comes with more expenses. I gotta, you know, now I think about insurance things. I gotta worry about just more costs that may affect us versus you live in an apartment where you just pay the rent and keep pushing, have you know any type of issues, that's already taken care of. I don't have to take care of it myself.
SPEAKER_04Um I say yes. I think anybody that wants to remain stagnant forever is that's like a personal problem that they need to work on. Okay. Now again, you use the key phrase early in this pod, which we probably gonna name it, within reason is very important here, right? We in a one bedroom, you're talking about trying to move into a mansion or something like that, that's gonna triple our rent or a mortgage, whatever the case may be, yeah, that's not within reason. But, you know, leaving this one bedroom apartment and moving into, you know, a nice little crib, 1,500, 2,000 square foot crib, may add a little 400, 500 extra on the. I feel like that's completely within reason. And because if my partner is passionate about this, especially speaking from a male perspective, I'ma try my best to try to meet her or to do my part to try to help us get there within reason. Right. That's not stressing us out, that's not because the thing about chasing more is it can sometimes cause a divide in the house. Cause we both agitated and we both trying to elevate so much soda where, you know, date nights may slow down. Mm-hmm. Our little shoulder rubs and that little, you know, banner we had around the crib may slow down. I'm a little more stressed now than I was because now I'm I'm trying to pick up an extra job or I'm trying to, you know, pod a little more. I'm trying to get my social media jumping a little more. So now I'm a little more drained trying to give you this lifestyle that you want. And that's why we got to be careful what it is that we're asking for. People want a lot of things, but they don't read the fine print for most of them. And that's where the problems come in. You want this mansion, but you don't want to sacrifice the time. I'm gonna have to be away to pay for it. Or you don't want to pick up that extra shift. You was living a cushy lifestyle, but now you gotta go get a whole job so we can afford this mansion. You don't, you didn't plan on working that hard to try to get it. You wanted to inspire me to do it. But the so again, we gotta understand what I am asking for and what are we gonna have to do to get it? And number three, what is it gonna do to us to get it?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_04So that's how I process that. But in terms of somebody just being stagnant, hell no, nobody should be stagnant for for forever. You should always be wanting more. Elevate, whatever the case may be. Now, again, within reason, it's very important. What can you handle from a mental perspective? What can you handle from a work perspective? And what's something that you can do that ain't gonna turn you into a totally different person? That's just my thoughts.
SPEAKER_02So speaking of stagnant, young lady says What if my partner wants to take things slow, but still wants to be sexual?
SPEAKER_04He's playing with you. He's playing with you. Because if we're taking things slow, that includes sex. Goes back to what we just talked about by reading fine print. You can't when you ask for certain things, you gotta be willing to deal with everything that comes with it. And people don't want that in every aspect of life. They want to cherry pick what's beneficial for me out of all these situations, whether it's the Bible thumpers, or whether it's, you know, people dealing with relationships or whether it's the job promotions and things of that. You want the money, I want the attention. I want to use this scripture because it aligns with my narrative, but I'm gonna skip past this scripture that may challenge what I'm thinking, or at the job, I want the promotion, I want the money, but I ain't trying to be in charge of 30 people. I just want to come in and do my little one too. I don't want to be the last one in the office, last one to leave. You gotta be careful what you ask for. Because what comes with that, you may not be able to handle. And that's just my thought. What do you think about that?
SPEAKER_02I mean, I agree with everything you say. Like, if you want to take things slow, that's that's everything. That's everything. It is sex shouldn't be on the table if you trying to take things slow. That's the first thing about taking slow. You know what I mean? The first thing. So it should be, you know, we how even how you hanging out, like we taking things slow. You shouldn't be in my crib, I shouldn't be at your crib. There you go. We really getting to know each other. If you want to take things slow, that means there's there's deep dive into trying to get to know each other. That means, you know, it may not be as many dates. It's really us getting to know each other. Like the the deep stuff, just having real honest conversations. That's what I think about when when I hear taking it slow. You know, it's not, it's also not pressure. There's no pressure when you're taking it slow. I'm really trying to get to know who you are and what you're about so I can make the right decision. Right. But being single, also, I've used taking things slow as leverage. Because if I'm about you, I'm trying to go as fast as possible. Because I I know what I want. So there's the slow playing is uh you cool, but I'm not a hundred percent sure. I'm like one foot in, one foot out, and it's fun over here too. So it's like if this don't work out, because I may be going too fast over here, I'ma keep you within within reach and within reason. Safety net. Because yeah, because you you do have qualities that I am looking for, but it's lit over here. Right. So you you just kind of gotta be careful. But if you're taking the slow, sex should be completely off the table. You shouldn't even be thinking about that.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I mean, especially since you introduced the idea, you know, and when she she say he brought it to her.
SPEAKER_10Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_04So yeah, nah, uh slow mean slow means slow. Mm-hmm. Because, you know, it'd be no different than if she brought it up and he knows, yeah, I mean, I'm gonna take things slow, but I mean I still want you to pay my bills. You know, I still want to go out to eat in nice places, I still want to go on trip, but let's take it slow. You would look at her like she was crazy. So in reverse, same timing. You understand? But typically, bro, when when dudes want that, I'm just talking to us specifically, that situation. When dudes say things like that, but still want to maintain a sex, they don't see you like that. Because it ain't, I ain't never met a woman that I really, really liked or loved and wanted to take anything slow. I'm trying to go 120 miles per hour.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, like I said, now I'm thinking about it. Take things slow with me. I'm trying to slow play you. There you go. I'm gonna just drag this shit out as long as I can. There you go. I still want that ass, but we're gonna take our time.
SPEAKER_04I want to keep my get out of jail free card. Just in case you catch me doing something out here, I can say, look, man, I said I want to take it slow. We ain't all the way there. We we heading there, but we ain't all the way. I know I just slept with you last night. But that was last night tonight. Totally different energy, baby. Hey, y'all gotta start letting niggas play with you.
SPEAKER_12That's real. That's real.
SPEAKER_02Because you know, if you listened, he probably pulled that move on you. But you I see, man, speaking of kind of like uh some of them questions that have been at the show. Mm-hmm. When when uh chicks be mad that, you know, a dude here with another girl or something like that. It's like, are y'all together together or y'all like just talking? There you go. It's like if that's the case, you can't be mad. Yeah, he there with another girl. She asked to go to the show. You didn't.
SPEAKER_04Expectations have to match the title of the relationship, man. Simple and plain. That'd be the problem. Motherfucker be trying to take it slow, but then the expectations don't read take it slow. Expectations read relationship. Nah, we ain't in a relationship. Them expectations is misguided. So hell nah. All right, baby. Make sure we get the Patreon in there, man. It should be at the top, man. My girl uh about about to get on dead on our ass. Uh-oh. It should be separate from all of the the uh whatchamacallus. Yeah, she's gonna get dead on our ass if we don't we don't answer.
SPEAKER_02Right here, right here. Yep. Okay. I guess did she ask before or something? Mm-hmm. All right. Um, so in the moment, when or if can you feel yourself reacting to past trauma? How do you check that? I like that question. It's dope.
SPEAKER_04Shout out to my girl K Fendi, man. That's Patreon in the building. Shout out was warranted. You didn't ask nothing personal. So we're gonna shout you out because you didn't tell me not to. And and I seen you get on our ass today using it. Wait, I thought I thought it was supposed to drop yesterday. I didn't see that message. It was We got you, baby. We got you. Life be life is sometimes. Come on now. But yeah, so so ri so she said, how do you stop yourself from reacting to past trauma?
SPEAKER_02Like in the moment, how do you check that? If you can feel yourself reacting to past trauma.
SPEAKER_04I normally try to get up and leave the room. Um that's my first go-to, is to isolate myself. And to in that time, I get to think about like what I'm trying to get away from. Is this really that serious? Um, but when you're in the moment and it's heated and you're going back and forth, or you see something that triggers you, you're gonna react. And a lot of times it's gonna be the wrong reaction. You understand? But if you could get up and walk away from that situation, maybe go out, I'm talking about walk around the block, maybe go outside, maybe go to a separate room, maybe go upstairs, depending on how your house is set up, whatever the case may be, and just get that time to calm down, read the situation, step outside of the situation so you can make a more beneficial decision. Because reacting based on how you used to ain't gonna help you. Ain't gonna do nothing but make it worse. You're gonna relapse. It's just like a drug addict in that moment, right? If I'm trying to beat crack, I'm gonna stay away from crack houses, right? But I just may be at a party, somebody may pull it out. I need to remove myself from the room if I'm trying to get away from that. Because if I stay there, that urge to react the way that I want to or the way that I used to, spent years or years and years doing, that's gonna happen. So sometimes, you know, that's just my theory. I just like to remove myself completely. 10 minutes, 15 minutes, calm down. Okay. Now I'm gonna try to go back and have that conversation. So that's just how I see it. What about you?
SPEAKER_02Be transparent with y'all. Uh-oh. This is this is this is organic OT talking right here. So um one, which is is not the healthiest at all in any aspect, but she's saying in the moment. So in the moment, what I do, I gotta be quiet. And silence is not always the best because that can be looked at as like manipulation. Right. That's not what I'm trying to do at all. I'm just I just want to make sure that whatever I say next is healthy and whatever I say next is clear in what I'm saying without coming off as aggressive, without being too angry, without trying to to shoot a shot or things like that. So I tend to kind of be quiet first. And then if I still feel like in that Minute or two, I can't say what I need to say because things are getting elevated, then I'm then I'll say, Do you mind if we pick this conversation up later? Or can I finish this conversation later? Or hey, I'm not in the best headspace to say what I need to say in this moment. Can we pause? Because owe me. Ready to fly off the hinges. Right. Immediately. You know what I'm saying? And it's not, it's not nothing physical. It's just if y'all know me, I since I was a kid, I had this attitude, boo. I got an attitude on me. So I have to find a way to, like she said, when the trauma I have to find a way to dig deep when I do feel triggered. I have to find a way to still respectfully let you know I still love you and be calculated in my next move. You know what I mean? And so actually we had a had a clip that go viral with uh Brittany Britney Britney. What was her name? Brittany?
unknownBrittany.
SPEAKER_02Britney Yeah, Brittany. Brittany No uh Noel Noel. Yeah, yeah, Brittany Noel. And so because I was asking her, you know, like Is it is it healthy to try to, you know, get up and just try to go to the next room, like you saying, go upstairs and just create separation. And, you know, she agreed, like, yeah, that's that's needed sometimes. But fellas, you do have to revisit it. That's when you can't just say, can we talk about this later? And then you never bring it up. Like, that's gonna make things worse. Because she's waiting on you to come back, she waiting on you to have that conversation again. So if you say you need 30 minutes, come back in 30 minutes. Come back in 20 minutes. You know what I mean? Um, definitely had that conversation, but I like I said, I I like to I gotta woo-sah. I just I just do, man. I just have to woo-sah because the first thing I'm gonna do, you're not gonna like first thing, you're not gonna like my tone. So I'm thinking about, okay, I need to watch my tone, I need to watch my delivery, and I need to to make sure the words that I'm saying that it's not something that's demeaning or I'm talking down on you, or like any of that stuff. So I'm thinking about so many things in my head at the same time, all while trying to listen and understand what you're saying. Right. I'm still on your team. So I'm trying to process all these emotions because I'm like, okay, is she really attacking me? Is she being disrespectful? Like, did she say what? She said So is it's all of that going on at one time. And so yeah, sometimes you just need a light reset. Baby, can't do you mind, hey, babe, I love you. Do you mind if we pick this up in an hour? Do you mind if we pick this up in 30 minutes? Hey, I gotta go to the restroom.
SPEAKER_12We've been arguing for the hour. Can I go pee and come right back? I'm trying to, I'm trying to do that.
SPEAKER_04Lord help me, please.
SPEAKER_12You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_04But yeah, you know, women, women, women uh bladder be the uh sliders bleed up on women bladder in the middle of argument. They can argue forever. Oh God. Um, but yeah, man, so I yeah, I mean it's just about understanding yourself, man, and and you know, uh me, I'm I'm in the moment, if I'm angry or if I'm not feeling how I need to feel, it's gonna be very aggressive, it's gonna be very sarcastic, it's gonna be very pointed with my words and things of that nature. So it's like sometimes you just gotta give yourself that break, man, and and and you know, gather yourself and get yourself right. And um I I I wish you would have given us more detail in terms of what the situation was. Because she could be talking about anything. You know what I mean? Abuse, just different things like that that she triggered by, whatever the case may be. So um, you know, but we're gonna answer it based on, you know, how we feel like that you had that you had that you was asking it, man. But again, man, salute to my girl K. We got you, baby. I told you. I told you we got you. Um, on that note, man, we're gonna go ahead and wrap this thing up, brother. Episode 10, another epic episode, man, within reason is the title, man. I appreciate everybody for tapping in. Uh trying to think if it's uh yeah. Uh again, all everybody listening, all the DSPs, man. We appreciate y'all, everybody on Spotify, on Apple, on iHeart Music, wherever it is that you're listening to it, audio only, we appreciate y'all. Salute to everybody on the Patreon that's watching the full videos. That's where you can access it. You're trying to figure, damn, where can I find episode 10? Patreon.com backslash C, backslash Trill Academy. Make sure that y'all tap in. We got a few different tiers: $5 tier, $10 tier, $20 tier. Make sure y'all tap in, whichever one's comfortable to y'all. Also, everybody in the Patreon, don't be shy to send questions in. Facts. Some of y'all done sent questions in and like, oh, I mean, hold on, change the plans. I don't I don't want you to answer that one. I don't want you to ask that one. Feel comfortable, bro. If you want to be anonymous, just say, hey. That's it. I just want to be anonymous, but that's what I want to ask. Because the Patreon questions is priority. We're gonna make sure that y'all questions get answered. You understand? So again, man, we appreciate everybody for tapping in with us. Uh, this done been a hell of a journey, episode 10. We 10 deep now. So, yeah. Oh, how you feeling?
SPEAKER_02I feel great, man. I feel great. I just want to shout out to A Money, my son. Graduated today. Congratulations, brother. Fifth grade, headed to the sixth. Lord. I remember what them days was like. Just wet behind the ears.
SPEAKER_04Just I'm talking about green as a football lawn.
SPEAKER_02Green as a football field on game day. So yeah, man, just congratulations. And and my my uh my uh my niece. Well, my little cousin, Yara. She's going to second grade. Yeah, that's my baby Kenzie, man. Shout out to Kenzie. Ken's Ken's. So we got, you know, a lot of a lot of graduations and and everything in the family. So shout out to all the fam, working hard. Love it. All the fathers, ken folk, everybody just being active, man. You see it on them. Being around them, you just see the part of the personalities and stuff. So yeah. That's all I got. What you got?
SPEAKER_04Nah, man, we got, you know, some shows coming up. Tonight's conversation, man. This weekend we're gonna be in a not this weekend. I'm I'm talking, I'm I'm uh, what uh buddy say, I'm uh Joseph. Uh no, purpin'. He say purpin, Louisiana to say Joseph. Uh it'll be next weekend, weekend of the 30th. The last weekend of uh May. We're gonna be Fort Worth, Austin, San Antonio that weekend, man. Make sure that y'all are there. Make sure y'all tap in. And also, if y'all listen to the part, y'all tapped in, let me know who you is, and goddamn, we're gonna shout you out on the next part. You understand? Uh so we there. Um podcast Summit, July 2nd. Um, we're gonna be in Atlanta for that. Uh salute to Donnie Wigan, salute to David Shans, and then in August, InvestFest, man, salute to Aaron Leisure. Salute to Ian, man, salute to everybody that's gonna be out there rocking with us. My girl Kitty, uh Ace Metaphor, of course, my brother. Um, yeah. So, you know, we're gonna be moving around. It's gonna be a lot going on. And uh, you know, that to me, my boy Oak, should be with me at every one of these stops. So uh, yeah, man. We appreciate y'all, man. Make sure y'all tap in, you know, pictures and things of that nature, man. Y'all already know, you know, it's it's love. We're gonna we're gonna take care of y'all. Appreciate everybody for tapping in. The numbers is going up, brother. The the listens is going up, the views is going up on the on the clips, man. So that just means we're doing something right, and that's all thanks to y'all. We are nothing without y'all, bro. Thank y'all. At all, man.
SPEAKER_02So appreciate everything that y'all do. Love, love, love the support. Just keep going, man. Just keep going. You know, we're starting this one from scratch again. So um, every like, every listen, every share, all of it is worth it. So we appreciate it.
SPEAKER_04Real rap, man. On that note, we're gonna go and get up out of here, man. Drake album just came out, so we gotta play a Drake record, man. We're gonna go with uh Classic. Yeah, off of Habib T. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Salute to my boy Drake, man. The boy is back. We here, um, like we said, man, appreciate all the love. Every single bit of love, man. Until that note, we gone.
SPEAKER_00Is it a first time? Is it your first time? Is it the first time?
SPEAKER_05Give it beep first, beep, beep.
SPEAKER_00Is it the first time?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, give me your look to me, you give it a pinto. You give it me all the time for the first time, big big is it's your first time.