Episode 12: "Another Line"

01:15 – World Cup madness in Houston

08:35 – B2K vs Pretty Rick Verzuz

12:38 – Usher & Chris Brown tour has kicked off

15:18 – Is Drake is officially back?

18:26 – Drake vs Jay-Z cold war

23:38 – Tisia speaks on how loud insecurity is

45:44 – A man’s circle is reflective of his leadership

55:57 – Likes destroy marriages NOT love

01:12:41 – Is the best way to get over someone to get under somebody else

01:17:08 – Why do men think emotional availability is feminine?

01:25:35 – What’s the difference between having patience with a man and lacking boundaries?

01:29:55 – How often should date night happen when you have kids?

01:31:42 – How do you define “date night” ?

01:36:14 – I’ve been dating a man on/off for 11 years.. Does he love me?

Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:00

Welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, man. Glad to be back. Back at Organic OT. Hey, Trill A C as hell, man. Dog Trill. We here. Trill Academy. Hey. Live and direct. Come with y'all real, raw, truth, honesty, get some humor, just game, just wisdom. Just, you know what I'm saying? A little bit of everything. Some gems. Whatever y'all need, man. We're gonna bring it to y'all.

SPEAKER_03 0:32

90%, man. I appreciate the reception. Uh the reception. We about 12, this episode 12. So still pretty early in the game. You know what I mean? But the but the reception has been really, really good. Salute to everybody that's been listening on all the streaming platforms. Salute to Patreon, of course. You understand? People been tapping into the little clips and shit that we've been posting on all the social medias, man. I appreciate all the love. And uh, you know, again, we took a little break, but I had to get finished with that tour of tonight's conversation tour. Got a couple months off, man, so we're about to go crazy. You understand? We're gonna go ahead and tap on in. Um man, it's a lot going on. It's a lot going on right now. I think um, first and foremost, World Cup is created a sense of madness in the city. I'm talking about traffic everywhere, construction everywhere. Restaurants is packed, clubs is more expensive to get into. You understand? I'm saying a bunch of soccer jerseys randomly just running around.

SPEAKER_05 1:33

The motor's fly too. Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:37

Nah, but uh appreciate everybody that that done uh been coming to the city, man, and and experiencing the city. I think that's the dopest part is watching foreigners come into the city and go to our restaurants and go to our clubs and all of these things, and they just get to experience Houston. You know what I mean? Houston is Houston is a different place, bro. That's why so many people is moving here. You got dudes saying, damn, y'all, every every kind of genre of food is good out here. This is crazy, bro. Facts.

SPEAKER_05 2:03

It's like, yeah. Late night, early morning. I mean, whatever you need, man. We got it. We got it. Because we done been on tour plenty of times and niggas closing up shop at 8 o'clock. Oh, man. Can't find nothing. Nothing but some McDonald's or something. Treacherous. I ain't it's we we spoiled out here, dog.

SPEAKER_03 2:24

Then even the restaurants that's supposed to be good, the ones they recommend, and you get in there and it's mid, mid, mid, skip, skip, skip. Yep. Yeah, I mean, so now of course they got a couple, you know. Shout out to Chicago. Shout out to Philly, they got some good food out there. Um, who else off the top of my head? DC got some good food, Baltimore. Um, but yeah. Memphis did too.

SPEAKER_05 2:48

Memphis, too. Yeah, for me. I went to that brunch spot. 100%. Off of uh damn, what's that?

SPEAKER_03 2:55

It's like downtown. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what you're talking about. Kansas City Barbecue, man. Shout out to Gates. We went back over to recently came back, came back, man. Ah, man. I know y'all went to sleep after that. Come on, man. Come on, man. Had had so much to go, food, it was crazy. I just Michael Ways was there too, so woke up right, you know, woke up right and tapped right back in, man. But uh, like I said, man, tour is over, man. Salute to tonight's conversation. Uh, spring tour is over, fall is coming. Uh, we're gonna be back on that roll September. Um, Invest Fest is coming up. Uh, definitely gonna be out there August 7th through the 9th. So, you know, everybody that's gonna be out there, make sure y'all tap in with me, man. Just come up and say what's up. You know, we can get some pictures and things of that nature in. Um, what else, man? I know it's a podcast summit coming up here pretty soon in Atlanta. Um, man, it's just a lot going on, bro. So, but it is good to be home. Because all that traveling, people be thinking touring is just such an incredible thing. And don't get me wrong, the money is cool, but that traveling beats you down, bro. Mm-hmm. I mean, Lord. It's glad to be home, be able to chill, be able to sit on my couch, watch TV, do absolutely nothing, play with my little girl, see my old lady, spend some quality time with the old lady, things of that nature. So just glad to be off tour. What you been up to though, bro?

SPEAKER_05 4:20

It'd be it'd be that traveling. It'd be the getting on a flight. You gotta go through TSA, you gotta wait for the flight to get there, you gotta take off, land, wait for your bag, go to the hotel. Well, before you go to the hotel, you gotta wait for the Uber. Yeah, that shit be a process, dog. This now, I just the shit just it's on cycle so much now. I just tell baby, like, it's as soon as I land, it's just getting about two hours.

SPEAKER_03 4:46

Right.

SPEAKER_05 4:47

Between landing and getting to the hotel, it's getting about two hours. Tell me right now, because that's just what it's gonna be.

SPEAKER_03 4:53

The killer be the drives in between. Oh. Especially when you got the multi-city situation. So you get uh you fly into the first city, you do the show, you wake up early the next morning, drive four hours, three hours, four hours, three and a half hours. So if you got a full city run, you know, just like recently, man, we did about 15 hours of driving in one weekend.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

That's that's nuts. It was outrageous, bro.

SPEAKER_05 5:17

And you gotta perform.

SPEAKER_01 5:18

And you gotta perform. Same night. Gotta be ready. Gotta gotta be on, gotta be sharp. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_05 5:25

Um this time y'all didn't have no early shows, though. It was just all right. Thank God. Thank god, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:31

Yeah, because the double man, it's what's gonna make it. Yeah, it was gonna be rough, boy.

SPEAKER_05 5:38

Yeah. Man, I've been uh just chilling, man, just doing family shit. I'm gonna let y'all know something next week. Next week I got a big announcement for y'all, man. You're gonna find it, let it out, huh? Yeah, I'm excited. I'm excited. Let y'all know next week, man, it's gonna be something. It's gonna be something. You know what I'm saying? But uh man, I'd say that, yeah, just been working, working, working, looking for the stuff. So hey, if y'all know anybody that's hired, you know what I'm saying? Operations, management, executive director, stuff like that.

SPEAKER_06 6:12

Back to it.

SPEAKER_05 6:13

Yeah, we back to it, man. Got a you know what I'm saying, new beginnings. A lot of head. You know what I'm saying? A lot of head.

SPEAKER_03 6:23

Come on home.

SPEAKER_05 6:24

We have uh, you know, today, you know, running around with Aiden. We got he got another game tomorrow. Um so we went, I looked at the schedule. We went 2-0, the other team went 2-0 for the play-in. Right. But the other team, they had more points, like the point differential. So we technically for the little round roping, whatever you want to call it, we second place. So um But we're gonna we're gonna see how them how them boys do tomorrow. I think we'll be straight though. We'll be straight. Uh I'll see us making to the chip again. So just a matter of us, you know what I'm saying, doing what we do in the in the chip. So I don't know, man. I'm getting getting proud of my dog, man. He's starting to come around slowly, you know, get acclimated. Yeah. And then two, I keep, I keep forgetting. I was telling my brother this the other day. Bro is, he's only 10. Right. Playing on 11 and up. He got kids getting ready to turn 12. Or being 11 for a minute. Like, bro, is 10. We're about to turn 11. Right. So, like, he's been doing this on this level, so I'm like, I gotta got that, you know, make sure I keep reminding myself because he's doing a damn good job. Right, right, right, right, right. But I'm thinking he's 11 by turn 12. Like, he's a whole year ahead. But that's good, though. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:39

I mean, because you're keeping him ahead of the curve, which is how it gotta be. It's like I say, when we grew up, we was playing with old heads, grown men out there at Duck Pond and the old Y and all these places. Like, we 10, 11 years old. It's like sink or swim. You know what I mean? So by the time we start playing people in our age group, it was easy money. Right, right. You know what I mean? So it's gonna be the same for him. So I'm just glad he's getting that con getting that experience, you know what I mean. He can learn his physicality, grow into his body, build the confidence, you know what I mean? The the damn near arrogance is what you need to thrive in that type of environment, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_05 8:12

So he's picking it up. Yeah, well, he's yeah, he gets a little definitely getting a little angry now. Get Eric out there. Hit a couple niggas with a couple of these today. I'm like, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_03 8:25

So yeah, proud of him, man. I'm proud of him, man. I love the head, man. Uh, we had a controversial versus happened recently. B2K versus Pretty Ricky. Now going into it, you heard a lot of chatter. You know what I mean? You had people saying Wasted time. B2K was, you know, had a chance. They they could they was gonna beat them, and this had a third. I was saying Pretty Ricky gonna sweep them because of the qu the type of music. I honestly think that it was a mismatch. It was, for sure. You know what I mean? Just based on the caliber of music, you know what I mean? They they make two different types of music, and that's what people didn't understand. B2K made that early teenage years type of music, Millennium Tour, all of that stuff. Pretty Ricky made that, you know, function, kickback, you know what I mean? Some girls over, lights cut off, everybody paired off, lap dances, all of these things. So that has a different kind of sentimental value to everybody in comparison to the like childhood stuff you listening to in middle school or elementary school. You know what I mean? So, you know, I kind of, you know, I kind of I kind of figured it was gonna go how it went, but it was just like ah, it was ugly.

SPEAKER_05 9:35

I see some comedies. This one they said, nigga. I ain't never seen the 20 oh version. I didn't get the I caught the end because I was at eight in practice, but I mean, I already knew what time it was. I already had to tell me nothing. Like, if anything, nigga, it was it was pretty Ricky versus Omarion. Exactly. He done y'all going against. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 9:54

Which they kind of handicapped him because they wouldn't let him do his his solo stuff. So they was trying to play all group stuff, so they had to dig into them, you know, that old like I say, childish stuff. It's not happening. But if Marion could have gotten to his own solo stuff we could mix with it, they would have had a better chance. But But they let, well, yeah, because it was over.

SPEAKER_05 10:19

But that was more towards the end, though.

SPEAKER_03 10:20

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying. So, like, you know, ple Pleasant Pete. That's another thing.

SPEAKER_05 10:24

That's what I mean.

SPEAKER_03 10:24

My bad.

SPEAKER_05 10:25

I said Pleasant Pete.

SPEAKER_03 10:26

Vocally, it was Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Vocally, it was miles of difference between Amariad and Pleasant Pete. Like, he sung him under the table, bruh. Like it was it was crazy, you know what I mean? So Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_05 10:43

So I just hated that story. Who would you have either one? It didn't matter, like Pretty Ricky versus who or B2K versus who, like, because since I I was thinking they only did it because they were the boy groups. You know what I mean? So they were putting them against each other thinking it was gonna be a little bubble there. Again, that was just mismatch.

SPEAKER_03 11:00

It was different kind of boy groups, you know what I mean? I I might have would have put Pretty Ricky versus like a day 26. Okay. I can see that. You know what I mean? Like, because they got that they make the same kind of songs, you know what I mean? But uh B2K and them, they like on some like and it's gonna sound crazy, but like Justin Bieberish, uh early, early Bow Wow. It's like super safe, it's super like cute and gentle, you know, it's that. But pretty Ricky, I just saying about, you know what I mean? Like it's it it was just lopsided as far as the content. What niggas gonna play bump bump bump? Like, what's that's gonna be? And they played it and it just didn't ring off. No, the boys came right back with love like honey or something. It was like, damn, Age ain't nothing but a number and all of these things. Yeah, it's I told people, bro, I said pretty Ricky could just really just play their first album top to bottom, and that's it. Like, it was no skips on Blue Star. None. None. Besides the last one.

SPEAKER_05 12:02

What's the name? The little hip hop.

SPEAKER_03 12:06

Hell nah, hell no, hell no. Hell nah. Hell nah. But but yeah, so that and and red light special. I mean, it's come on, man.

SPEAKER_01 12:16

It's done. It's what not.

SPEAKER_03 12:17

It's like, man, you had to be outside to know. And most everybody was in that was outside back when that was out. So it's just, you know, it just rung off a little different. You hear me?

SPEAKER_05 12:27

Um just press play and just come on, man. Let it do what it do. It was that city did all the talking for you.

SPEAKER_03 12:36

Um, we're gonna stay at RB, man. The Usher Chris Brown tours kicked off officially. You know what I mean? And we've been getting reviews. Everybody turned, man. Everybody turned. You know what I mean? Chris Brown, Usher both going crazy. Both of them got catalogs, it's long as hell. They can, you know, evidence last year on their own tours, two hours straight. Nobody uh uh opening, no uh a filler at all. Just hits, hits, hits, hits, hits. So that's what's going on now. Also, I'm hearing that it's a uh collab album that they're working on while they on tour. That's supposed to be coming out pretty soon. Um, you know, I'm a I'ma be there in Houston, VIP. You know what I mean? Third roll. So, you know, I'm trying to tap in. Lute to my boy DJ Fresh. When is that one? That's like October 9th, if I'm not mistaken. October 9th. It's like a Thursday.

SPEAKER_04 13:34

Friday?

SPEAKER_03 13:34

Probably like a Friday, probably.

SPEAKER_04 13:36

We ain't on town.

SPEAKER_03 13:38

That's the one weekend we ain't. It worked out perfect. Because I was gonna have to get my tickets up. Or I was gonna have to let I'm gonna let one of my old lady girls go with her.

SPEAKER_04 13:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 13:53

So, you know, that's gonna go crazy. Um, as a matter of fact, I think they got a couple shows here. I think they're gonna do one that day and one the next day, if I'm not mistaken. And then uh I think Dallas is after that. But yeah, we're gonna be there. You know what I mean? So I've been hearing great, great things, been hearing great reviews, so I'm definitely happy about that, man. I already know where they was gonna go because we had both their concerts last year. So I already knew how, you know what I mean. I was just interested to see how they was gonna collab and kind of weave it in. But yeah, man, they saying the chemistry is crazy already.

SPEAKER_05 14:26

Okay. So I like that. They both put on the show. So you can just only imagine it's gonna be, yeah. It's gonna be it's gonna be dope as hell. Production gonna be off the chain. Come on, man. She gonna be she's gonna be on point for sure. It's gonna be one of the ones dogs. That's wow. That's wow. Cause they and they both been on tour like for a minute. Yeah. So I'm just saying, just the just the just the the wherewithal and the energy that it takes to do that consistently. That bag, though. Like you, you did I know. That's bag, though. That's only a different type of motivation. You know what that bag look?

SPEAKER_03 15:04

I'm gonna be able to do it. Let's go look back at it, baby. That bag come here. We talking about millions or so. That bag here, baby. We're gonna have to figure it out. Red Bull, come on. Yeah. Um what else? Drake. Uh, six weeks that Iceman been out, sold 90,000 units in the six-week high-selling album of 2026. Uh three hits that are top ten in billboards still. Um is Drake officially back?

SPEAKER_05 15:35

Drake never left. Drake never left. It was just uh, you know, you had them loud fans that was on the other side. Um because even when he was getting dissed or whatever, like everything he was dropping was was still heat. Right. It was just a matter he just didn't have a project that was out. So he'll have a, you know, he'll have a nice single, and you know, it do what it do. And then of course it's gonna fade away. But nigga, just Iceman. It's top five. Yeah, I'm I'm even top three. Top three, that's what I'm gonna do. You know what I'm saying? Like literally. I'm leaning. I'm leaning. Literally. It's it's it's one of those. It's one of those. And that's another, that's that ain't got no skips. Talked about him. When you and when you really listen to it too, it's like this nigga was really talking.

SPEAKER_03 16:27

I tell you what, and he was and he was very generous. Because just think if he would have put classic Fort Worth on there, and then whatchamacallit with um Sexy Red and uh uh chick from Chicago that's on Bestie, if he'd have put those three, four on there, WNBA two, or just all on Iceman. Yeah, undefeated. But yeah, man, this is this is unprecedented territory. Um I'm like I said, I'm just interested, man, in the moon walking. I've seen a whole bunch of people saying that they didn't say what they said in 2024, and it's just it's just very interesting to watch. You're seeing people backpedal, you're seeing people making excuses, seeing a bunch of different things. But, you know, in my opinion, bro, Drake is back um in terms of popular opinion. Quality of music, he never left, just like you said. Um But popular opinion is swinging. It is what it is. Speaking of, he was just out here recently uh to celebrate Chubb's birthday. So they was all at the you know at the spot. I'm seeing all the little baddies on my Instagram stories. You seeing everybody in the spot, Drake and uh rapping Mo City Don, like you wrote it. You know what I mean? Like a like a true Houstonian. Um, yeah, man, I love to see it. I love to see it, man. They counted my dog out, man.

SPEAKER_05 17:49

That's what I'm saying. I don't he felt he he done. He done he ain't never coming back with this. I don't know what shit. See, the worst thing that y'all probably could have done was that.

SPEAKER_03 17:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 18:00

Get this man time to reflect and take the L on the chin.

SPEAKER_03 18:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 18:05

You know, as far as the masses, you know what I'm saying? Like, take that L back. He goes back to the drawing board, like his boy said, like, dig deeper. So he's like, fuck. You know what I'm saying? My nigga tells me like I ain't doing what I need to be doing. I hate them words. They never bring peace.

SPEAKER_03 18:22

Real rap. Come on, man. It's real rap. What do you think about the Jay-Z friction that's going on now? Cause Jay-Z uh recently appeared at Roots, dropped a freestyle where he was taking shots at a bunch of people, Drake being Drake included. Because Drake was taking shots at Hove all over Iceman. But now, you know, Hove is Hove is back outside, basically. You know what I mean? He did the Roots picnic, he got a couple shows coming up for the Reasonable Doubt stuff. And then I'm hearing he's adding a couple more shows for the year, working on an album that's possibly coming. Um, but there's friction between him and Drake. You know, it's starting to turn into a Drake versus Jay-Z thing. Uh, people comparing catalogs, people comparing impact, people comparing who ranks where. And, you know, it's is you know, it's getting intense. What's your thoughts on that?

SPEAKER_05 19:12

Drake, here's a how here's how they're gonna come at you with silly rap feuds, trying to distract you. Come on, bro. You you it's your words. These are your words, ho. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like, I don't know, man. I think Jay getting a little too old. It's a little long in the tooth.

SPEAKER_03 19:35

It didn't, it didn't hit like it's supposed to.

SPEAKER_05 19:38

It didn't. When I heard it, I was like, okay, it's cool, but it's like Think people gassed it because he was just back outside. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. Which, hey, it's in the moment. He out there in Philly, his roots picnic, like it's a lot of emotions, you know what I'm saying? That this stuff just happened. People looking for the response. I get it. It was in the moment. But it was definitely overhyped, in my opinion. In my opinion. If they go at it, if they were to have a quote unquote beef, I think Drake Washington.

SPEAKER_03 20:08

That'd be interesting. I just that'd be very interesting. Because I don't Holvane went directly at nobody since Nas. Everything since then been sort of shot here, shot there. But for them to have a just all-out war, I think that'll be very, very interesting. I think um I don't even see that happening. Nah. Nah, nah, nah.

unknown 20:30

Nah.

SPEAKER_03 20:31

Just gonna be shot in, yeah. But just go make some good music, Jay. And it'd be a contradiction because he just sat on the the interview and said how beef and hip-hop and you know is overrated, it's played out, and you know, we'll be better together and things of that nature. But, you know, it's it it it get a little different when people start talking like Drake has surpassed him. I think that's kind of hit him differently, and that's making him want to prove something. You know what I mean? Like it when he was doing that interview, he sounded real relaxed and real like, okay, just like he said. He said, I mean, come on, man, I'm I'm Jay-Z. Like, come on. So keep it that way. But the chatter, you know what I mean? And that's the interesting thing about Jay-Z is that, you know, people like to act like he just oblivious to what's going on on social media. I think he be really tapped in. Because in that freestyle, he responded to a lot of things that social media had to say. He responded to Drake, he responded to goddamn Dame Dash, he responded to um Tory Lanez and his daddy, he responded to Nicki Minaj, he responded to all of the social media chatter. He had a couple bars for everybody. You know what I mean? So he's definitely tapped in to what the general consensus is. And I think with Drake and this Iceman thing and surpassing Michael Jackson and all these records that he's breaking and got people talking different, you know what I mean, about who the GOAT is or who, you know. And I think that that's kind of ruffling his feathers a bit. It's making them want to come outside. Hey, man.

SPEAKER_05 22:03

Sometime it's just time to pass the torch. You know.

SPEAKER_03 22:07

O say it's over, nigga. Sit out.

SPEAKER_05 22:10

Sit down. Sit down. Sit down, old nigga. It's going to be Drake, too. Drake time gonna be up too. That's true. It's everybody. You're almost 40. It's gonna be everybody, bro. Everybody has their time where they have to hang it up. They were the greatest, and they were number one for who they, for however long they were. And it's gonna come a time where it's gonna be the next man up. That's just a part of the game.

SPEAKER_04 22:35

It's the game.

SPEAKER_05 22:36

Like you, I don't, I don't know. I don't foresee anybody for the most part just being number one and just staying number one. You can be number one for a good minute, but it's gonna be somebody that's gonna break records. Clips you eventually. Eventually. It's part of the game. So Yeah, I just think, you know, yes, Jay, you had your run, baby. You are you are great. You are dope. Your last project, 444, was amazing. Production, crazy. You was talking that, talking that talk, giving a lot of game, giving a lot of wisdom, and you know what I'm saying? Definitely something that you can play 10, 15, 20, 30 years from now. For sure. Um but right now, what boy? The boy. The boy.

SPEAKER_06 23:22

The boy. Every day. What do you say? Every day. Ah.

SPEAKER_03 23:29

To my boy Drake, man. Whole tool, man. Shout out to the whole legend, one of the GOATs. All right, we're gonna go ahead and get into some relationship stuff, man. Um, my girl Tosia, speaking of tonight's conversation, um, she recently appeared on a podcast, and she was speaking about insecurity and how loud it is. I'm gonna play the clip, and then we're gonna break down exactly what it is that she had to say.

SPEAKER_08 23:56

Happy women. They love happy women. So the more that you enjoy life, the better men you will attract. I'm talking to a guy. I like him. I want him to court me. I want to be treated right. Do I have a checklist? Do I let him talk? How am I approaching the dating world if I'm a single girl out here? Insecurity is loud. You don't have to tell a man anything. Confidence is what you can communicate without saying a thing. My name is Tia. And when my mom was in labor, I wouldn't come out. And she kept saying, I want to see her, I want to see her, and she named me Tysia. I said, Mom, can you stop telling people that? She said, You embarrassed now, but one day everybody's gonna see you. So in this day to season, if you had to describe it with a word for you, what would it be? I feel calm. Spiritually, I feel calm. It's not only that I feel calm, but when I'm not calm, I find myself self-correcting. And that's how I know it's like God is like I I can feel the presence around me. And so I'm just like vigilant and really just working on myself. That's how I feel. I feel very calm.

SPEAKER_03 24:56

Shout out to my girl Tossier, man. Um, she was speaking about insecurity, being loud. And essentially, a lot of women don't really understand that concept. Um, when you jump from relationship to relationship and you're broken, men can smell that a mile away in terms of your confidence level, in terms of what you will and won't tolerate, in terms of how serious that they should approach you. What's your thoughts on that? How loud is the insecurity? It's extremely loud.

SPEAKER_05 25:25

And a lot of times it's loud too, out of it's in your desperation. It's in your actions that you do when you're, you know, dealing with whoever you're dealing with, like men, especially snipers out there, the quote unquote players and whoever else, like they can smell that a mile away. And you just show just a little bit of it. And that's how you, you know, get yourself in situations where it's two, three, four, five years, you're wondering why he's not consistent. You wonder why he's doing this, wonder why he, you know, I mean, just leading you on and not giving you clear answers or, you know, not committing and things like that. But, you know, here and there, you know, he's showing flashes. That's because he understands who you are. And because you are insecure and because you aren't confident in yourself, you can't you stay around. And you staying around gives him the answer that he needs to know. Because if you cared about yourself and you had the confidence, you would have left him week two, month one, you know, whatever it is. Like you would have left it early. You wouldn't have let it drag out as long as you did. So yeah, man, a lot of them guys, they can sniff that early, man. And sometimes sometimes it's not even also, it's not even in actions. Like the guys that's been around and been dating a while, it's how you dress, it's how you walk. Like you kind of hunched over, and you know, you don't smile too much, you know. Niggas see that. You can see right through that. They'll make you laugh here and there, and you know, and then too, women, y'all give away too much information. I give away way too much information. Y'all, oh, you know, I ain't been on date in in three years. Oh boy, you ain't been on date on three years. Okay, let me take you to uh saltgrass. You know what I'm saying? Something not too expensive, but something to get you out the house. Oh, I ain't never had nobody take me to saltgrass before. And that's light to him. Right. That's nothing to him. And now he got you eating out the palm of his hand. You know what I'm saying? So, women, one, also two, y'all just have to, I think, even on your own, y'all have to experience different things and really look yourself in the mirror and decide what you want for yourself. Because until then, you'll let these men treat you however. Because you don't know no better. You know, some of it is on you, but some of it too is, I think, just like just the inexperience. And I'm not saying you gotta date everybody or anything, but I'm just saying just get experience, take care of yourself. And even if you don't have a lot of experience, you loving on yourself and you caring for yourself will automatically separate yourself from like half the pack alone. Just because you know what you're worthy of.

SPEAKER_03 28:15

Who d what percentage in terms of culpability do you give in terms of women going out here broken and then getting finessed by the predators that you're talking about? How much culpability should the woman take in those situations?

SPEAKER_05 28:32

It's hard. It really is hard. Because some women some women, you know, were sheltered, so they didn't get out that much. They don't have that much of dating experience. So it's kinda even. It's kinda even, but I would put it I always put it on the person, whether it's a man or a woman. Because men, you know, men get finessed and stuff all the time too. So I put it, I put it slightly more on the person only because you should know yourself. And if you know yourself, you wouldn't let somebody play with you the way they do. Now, there are people that's definitely gonna get away with some crazy stuff every now and then. Like you got some of those guys where, you know, the woman said, you know, he calls me just about every night, you know, he texts me while he's at work, and you know, he sees me on the weekend. Like he was consistent in your life and he had a whole nother family. Those, hey, I get. But to me, even still, there was something probably somewhere in there where you could have, but at the same time, you know, hearing those stories, I'm like, okay, he was consistent. He wasn't like he stopped communicating with you after six o'clock every day. Like those, it wasn't those obvious signs. You know what I mean? So is it's those instances where I do give grace and I do understand, but like wouldn't it be those obvious things, man? He going four, five, six days without talking to you and just popping up, oh, let's let's do XYZ. And then y'all hang out and you having a good time, and then he goes again for another week. Like, when it's those type of situations, I'm like, y'all should know better. Like, y'all letting this man just do whatever, playing your face, and but you say y'all been talking for two years. No, you see this man once every other week.

SPEAKER_06 30:25

Y'all not talking.

SPEAKER_05 30:26

Wow. Y'all not talking, y'all hanging out occasionally. Like, that's what that is. Ain't nothing serious about that. Should no feelings, no strong feelings be involved. Wow. Especially when there's no consistent communication. You should learn how to detach yourself.

SPEAKER_03 30:39

Yeah, man. I think you said something pivotal when you was talking about the salt grass situation. Um what impresses you and what moves you speaks volumes to your confidence level. Yep. And that's not saying that those guys taking you to those places have bad intentions. Because sometimes that's all a man can afford. You know what I mean? I like really like you, and I just want to get you out the house. I just want to take you places. But when your confidence is where it needs to be, you can decipher it better. You understand, in comparison to just like bro said, you ain't been out in three years. So you don't even know what needs urgency and what needs to be looked over, and what bare minimum is, and what, okay, he's going above and beyond what that is, because the simple things start to impress you simply because you've been out of the game so long. And not only that, you don't have nobody in your ear coaching you on what to look for and what's game and what's not game and things of that nature. I was I was reading the comments for like one of our clips, and there are women in there was basically saying, Man, thank y'all. Because I'm 40 years old and I never heard these perspectives before in terms of how men think in certain situations and and things of that nature. And even though it's hard to hear, knowing this is gonna help me move forward. You know what I mean? When I'm dating or when I'm dealing with guys, I'm gonna have what y'all say in the back of my head basically is what she was saying. Right. And it's like to those women, I give grace. You know what I mean? Um also victim mentality is not gonna get you far. Right or wrong, you can point the finger at everybody else all you want, but you gotta suffer the consequences of not knowing, or the ignorance, or getting finissed, or investing too early, or jumping the gun, things of that nature. So, in my opinion, it will behoove you to take more of a proactive role in learning these things and analyzing these things and not just being so happy just because somebody's giving you attention, that I'm ready to just dive headfirst into this situation because whether whatever their intentions are is irrelevant when your rubric is set up the way it's supposed to be set up. And what I mean by that is, I say all the time, like, don't get me wrong, I I I love my old lady to death, you understand? But if I was single tomorrow, I wouldn't have women problems. And what I mean by that is, is because when I'm going into that game, I know exactly what I'm looking for. And I'm not bending on a damn thing. Nothing when it comes to things that I need from a woman. But when you don't have a rubric or when you don't know what you're willing to bend on or what you're not, and things of that nature, then the person you dating dictates that. And that's where you get in trouble. Because now you done got invested, you start liking this person and things of that nature. So these things that's supposed to be hard-pressed boundaries, you start sliding them over just a little bit, just to make room for this person that I'm talking to. When it should be, I don't give a damn how much fun we have together. I don't give a damn how good the sex is. I don't give a damn how handsome or attractive this person is. They are violating my boundaries. That's it, that's all. And because you're doing that, I can't deal with you on that level. Now, we can be cool, we can be cordial, whatever the case may be, but I'm not taking it there with you because you violate my boundaries. You don't fit inside of what I know that I can live with for the next 30, 40 years. But that comes with experience, that comes with discipline, that comes with developing a rubric that comes with really sitting down, looking in that mirror and saying, What am I with what am I willing to bend on? And what are things that are just non-negotiable? I have to have these things. That's why I hate asking women they type and they say I don't have one. Because that lets me know that you're not prepared. This shit, you gotta be detailed and strict in terms of the program for men to respect you. Cause just like bro said, if we sense any waffling or wavering or bending on anything, most men gonna take advantage of that. But when you come in there and the program strict, like no, no, no, you're gonna either rise to this level or I'm out, a different type of man is gonna approach you or try to deal with you because it, like that's gonna weed out the wrong type of person. Because and we all done been there. I'm sure every man listening to this done been there. We done ran into a chick whose program was too strict for us. And it was like, I ain't trying to do all of that. Nah, she trying to get me to you know what I mean. And that's not saying her program is wrong. Right. That's just saying I don't have the capacity or I don't see the value in doing all of that that she's requiring, so let me get up out the way. Yep. Which is great for you. You know what I mean? Because we didn't we ain't wasting each other's time. But when you you're gonna have a dude come in there who is like, okay, bet, that's it. Say no more. Okay, boom, she wants to be taken out, okay. She wants flowers everywhere. Okay, bet. Say no more. I can I I can I can do that. And now you got a situation that's successful because you didn't bend, even though it took a little longer to find it, because it will, but you got a situation that's gonna last longer. So, yeah, insecurity is loud as hell. It's loud as hell. And and I here's a here's a question for you. Um, how often, you specifically, have you taken advantage of that in the past? I don't know if we want to talk about that. How often did your homeboy take advantage? Somebody that I knew. Somebody you knew close. Somebody that I knew.

SPEAKER_05 36:26

No, I keep it stacked. Like early on, early on, man, yeah, it was yeah, it was I was putting up Steph Curry numbers. But also, like half of it too, half of it too, I didn't realize because I was going through it. But then once I noticed, it was like, oh, so I could do XYZ and still get these results, bet. I'm about to try it here, I'm about to try it here, I'm about to try it here. And when the success rate is super high, it's like, why change how I play the game? So until until I be like, you know, it's not even worth messing with this, you know, young woman like that. Like, let me fall back, you know, and that's when it was more just leading up front, just being honest. Yeah. But then even that got me in some trouble a little bit too. Cause then you be honest, it still goes the same way almost. You be honest, and then it just be like, well, I've never had a man that was just honest with me like this before. I've never man had like this that was just so, you know, just so truthful and blunt and just, you know, so now I'm wanna, now I wanna cling, really cling to you because like if if anything, I'm gonna hurt myself, you're not gonna hurt me because you're telling me the truth. Right. So I'm like, well shit.

SPEAKER_06 37:53

Niggas, whatever then.

SPEAKER_05 37:55

Arcade mode, nigga on the game. Ain't noin's no rules in here then. Because I'm telling you if I as long as I tell you the truth and you accept it, I'm gonna keep hoping. You know, so but then I had to take the next step and acknowledge that, okay, yes, I'm gonna tell you the truth, and yes, that may give me some leeway, but I also have to respect you and respect myself. Because I can't just keep just getting away with whatever.

SPEAKER_03 38:20

You know what I call that, I call that saving you from yourself. Oh, facts. Once we hit a certain level of maturity, we get to thinking about, okay, I could just run this same play over and over and over again and score every time. But it's not doing me no good. It's damaging you, and I have a conscience. And it's like sometimes you gotta save women from themselves, bro. You literally have men, me included, back in the day, who weaponized honesty. We know how you're gonna react to the honesty. Just like bro just said, you're not used to men being honest. So that right there is gonna put us in rare air. Rare. You understand? And now I'm gonna get an all-access pass when my intentions are not serious. Even though I'm honest as hell with you, but my intention is to get in here and get what I want and get out the way. So it's like, but once you hit a certain level of maturity, it's like, you know what? Nah, I'm gonna save you from you. I know that it don't matter what I say, you're gonna do whatever I want to do or be on whatever program that I'm trying to be on. And I got more respect for you than that. I want you to have a chance to find a man who really as invested as you are in this situation. And even those conversations is hard because they don't want to let you go. You literally have women arguing with you that she don't deserve better than you, even though you've made your intentions of not being serious crystal clear. So it's like sometimes we as men, bro, we gotta save women from themselves. And that's how you could tell what your maturity level is. Because when you're immature, it's like, well, I mean, I told her the truth. I'm gonna just do what I do, I'm gonna take advantage. You're gonna keep coming over, I'm gonna keep doing it. Yep. But it's like when you get grown, it's like, nah, bruh, I can't let you go like this. I can't let you go out like that.

SPEAKER_05 40:09

And it gotta it gotta be more, too, ladies. Like, I'm talking on the sense of one, which I don't know. I still need I need to do a poll on this. I need to figure out one, a man having his own car. A decent car like that. I ain't saying he gotta have being, you know, what he ain't gotta have nothing super fly. I'm just saying a nice car to ride around in. Right. That's reliable. His own spot. Knows how to have a conversation without bringing up sex. Critical. And then just the honesty. It gotta go a little bit before further than that. Because you do those four things right there, you like you said, you're in rare air.

SPEAKER_03 40:55

80% of the field is automatically available to you just based off that.

SPEAKER_05 40:59

And then we start going on dates. I'm paying for them. I'm not asking for no money. Like every time I'm yeah, boom, boom, boom. Like, we just having a good time. Then you got a mouthpiece on you, so it's smooth conversation. We laughing, drops coming off. Quickly. Quickly. So, you know, everybody ate me.

SPEAKER_03 41:31

But um, but real rap though, man, we're not saying that to like speak down to women or nothing like that. I'm talking to y'all like y'all my sisters or like y'all my family. You know what I mean? I want y'all to be, I want y'all to think more highly of y'all selves so that simple shit don't impress y'all, man. That's it. Because you got dudes out here who even if they don't have it, they can put on like they do have it. And they may can do that for a couple weeks just enough to hook you or just enough to get you in. Just by doing the basic stuff that we talking about, car, you know, apartment, you know, money, a little bit of money. You done hit a little lick over here, you got a little paper, but he ain't really got no money for real, but he got a little paper, so it's looking like that. And now you done dove head first into a situation that if you was patient and if you was confident in yourself, you could have seen right through that. You could have waited for the real him, and that's the problem. A lot of women don't know how to wait for the real him to come out. You so invested in that shit so early that by the time the real him comes out, you feeling like you can't leave. Or you feeling like, you know, you're gonna you're gonna start over or you're gonna lose something great, or whatever the case may be. But it's like when if you patient and confident, like, yeah, okay, all of these dates and shit is cool, these conversations is cool. But we still gonna go in the proper order of things. We still gonna take a certain amount of time before we get to talking about investment and you know, uh uh uh exclusivity and what's off limits and what I can't do and what I can do and things of that nature. We ain't even having them conversations for the first couple months. Cause I want to see just how long that you can keep this mask on. Because it'd be fun at first.

SPEAKER_05 43:15

That'd be the be the fun at first. You ain't been okay, uh, we live in Houston, so I'm gonna use some of these examples. You know, you ain't been to you ain't been to love before. And he'd be like, oh yeah, you know, I'll take you to love. You know what I'm saying? I'll take you to love. And you go to love, you have a great time. Yeah. And you say you ain't been to bungalow. I go out in bungalow, have a good time. You ain't been to uh shit, what's the other one? Uh lost and found. Like you start hitting all the, especially you from out of town. Camp. Out of towness? Don't you getting privilege? You getting, yeah, you getting got to out of towness. Come on, man. Oh, you ain't been such and such? Oh yeah, let's go. You know what I'm saying? Let's do it. But not one time did he initiate those dates or initiate where he wants to take you. It's been you saying, let's do XYZ. And he'd be like, oh yeah, cool. Let's do it. Let's do it. Because you giving him the you giving him the book. All he's doing is that's it. Oh, I got okay, let's go. Let's do it then. And he's gonna do it. And you're not gonna hear him from him for a few days or whatever. He got to work. He gotta go out of town. Whatever it is. The go-to. You know what I'm saying? Then he's back and oh, okay, I miss my man. My man, my man, my man. That ain't your bed. That's your bed, her man, her bed, her bed. Alright.

SPEAKER_03 44:25

So just be careful, man. Also, you can't let men weaponize distance. Cause we do that too. Mm-hmm. Feel you start standing on business a little too much, you'll get distant. Knowing you're gonna miss them when you're gone. You're gonna cave. It's just it's it's a whole lot of mind game. We're gonna have to have a separate part where we really break down the game in which a lot of men use and things of that nature just to help them out. You know what I mean? Just get deep. A lot of this shit is very layered, and like if you ain't experienced, you can't really see it coming. You know what I mean? There's so many different techniques that men use to kind of hook you in and make you, you know, overcommit and things of that nature. So but yeah.

SPEAKER_05 45:04

Um really quick. But this is also why I don't know, I cannot we gotta find a way to put it in women's terms so they can understand it. You know what I mean? Like break it down because if y'all watch sports more, like for the women that watch sports, I think it'll be called, we could break it down that way for understand different schemes and when somebody doing this, this is what you're doing, if I show you this, this is what you should be doing. But we need some where they can like relate to. 100%. You know what I mean? 100%. I'm I'm gonna put my finger on something. Yeah, we're gonna think of something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:41

Alright, we're gonna get into this next one. Uh it was one of us speaking on a man's circle, being reflective of his leadership. I thought it was very interesting. We're gonna play it, man, and break down what she had to say.

SPEAKER_09 45:51

If a man has no friends, pay attention. If he has a small circle, please do not get it twisted. Not a red flag. That is a man who has mastered himself. A man with a small circle understands that quality has always mattered more than quantity. They don't need an audience to validate their words. Their confidence is internal. One thing you'll realize is it doesn't fluctuate based off of who claps for him. Type of men are comfortable alone because they know their self-worth. They're selective with their time, their energy, and who they give access to. And don't assume that that's isolation. That's discipline. These type of men avoid gossip. They don't do drama, they don't entertain meaningless connections, they protect their peace because they work so damn hard to build it. They know what they want and they move accordingly. So, ladies, when you meet a man that has a small circle, please do not assume loneliness. That's not isolation. That's self-mastering. And men like that are very hard to replace.

SPEAKER_03 46:48

A man's circle is reflective of the type of man he is and his leadership qualities. Do you agree with that all?

SPEAKER_05 46:56

For the most part. I see what she's saying. But it's, I mean, I think age is a factor in this too. Right. Because, you know, when you're younger, you 20, 21, you got about 30 partners. Right. You know what I'm saying? You mean deep everywhere. Deep. You know what I'm saying? Every function, whatever. It's 10 plus every time. But, you know, as people get older, you know, people mature, people start having families, they just have different interests. You know what I mean? You just slowly kind of drift apart. And so as you get older, you know, you really, that's really when you kind of realize who's truly there for you and who's there just to be there. You know what I mean? Like some, cause some people, especially your early 20s to mid-20s, like a lot of those people is just like party people, like party buddies. Right. You know what I mean? Y'all kick, hey, what we doing this weekend? What you know what I'm saying? It just be that light type stuff, but then after that, you know, where where really does it go? When you stop going out to the clubs, like, do I hear from you? Right. You know what I mean? When it's when it's time to stop drinking, or you know what I mean? Like, when there's stuff like that that's not involved, do I still hear from you? So I think, yeah, age and just time really, really tells all. But I think there's a lot of validity in what she said, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 48:23

Yeah, I mean, I think um the more people that a man has around him, the more he still feels like he has to prove. Um, I think a lot of the stuff, especially when we're young, it's a safety thing. It's a sense of we come in here deep, so just in case something bad happens, we'll be able to hold each other down. You know what I mean? But just to have that mindset speaks to the maturity level. Because when you get older and you get grown, I'm not even going places to where I feel like something bad could happen and we might all got a scrap or somebody gotta pull out a pistol or something for us to get out the spot. You understand what I'm saying? It's just like gangs is the same thing. A lot of people join gangs, not only for the community, but for the safety. When I'm walking around, I feel like I'm covered. I feel like I got covering. You know what I mean? I feel like, you know, somebody's gonna have my back if something go left or whatever. But, you know, a man with a small circle, I think it speaks to the confidence of them. It's like, man, I'm going here as a grown man. You know what I mean? I'm showing up, me and my old lady, or I'm showing up with maybe one of my homeboys, two at the most, you know what I mean. We're coming in here and taking care of business or coming in here having a good time, and we're going home. You know what I mean? We're not looking for confrontation. We're not trying to egg on confrontation if something happens to come our way or whatever the case may be, we're gonna handle it diplomatically and we're gonna get up out of there. That's just being grown. And I think that that speaks volumes. But back in the day, man, we was looking for it almost. You know what I mean? Coming to you. I wish somebody would say something. I wish somebody, you know what I mean? Facts. So, but eventually you grow out of that because thing about getting older, man, is you got different kinds of responsibilities, brother. Like back when we was younger, it wasn't no kids involved. It wasn't no rent and mortgage to be paid. You know what I mean? It wasn't no like business ventures and things that you gotta put a lot of attention into or whatever. Mother might have a little job, but it wasn't no, you know, stuff that's gonna really change your trajectory and, you know, build legacy and things of that nature. So we didn't have nothing to lose. And when you have nothing to lose, that's a dangerous person to be around. You know what I mean? But when you get older, you got shit to lose, bro. I can't afford to get in no trouble right now. I can't afford to, you know, go out here and get in a fight in a club or go out here and and get in a shootout or something like that. I I can't afford to do that now. I got a kid, I got a wife, I got mortgage that gotta be paid, I got business ventures that need my attention. I I don't have time for that. So I think that that speaks to a man's level of focus. But when you got all them people around you, you can't focus. Especially now.

SPEAKER_05 51:07

Niggas ain't niggas ain't trying to fight no more. Shh.

unknown 51:09

Man.

SPEAKER_05 51:10

You could brawl back then. Five on five, six on six, whatever. I know motherfuckers. Nigga, as soon as niggas start rumbling, pop pop. You already, especially if they lose.

SPEAKER_03 51:22

I'll be right back, y'all. Stay right here. Real quick. So, yeah, nah, man. I think what she's saying is golden. You know what I mean? And for all of the young dudes listening, bro, like, you don't need no entourage, bro. And and which is another thing. Um, when you hit some level of success and you got that entourage, we hear rappers say it all the time, like, man, I had to cut my circle down all the way, like very small, because I'm, you know, I'm the one paying for us going out, and I'm the one, you know, boys get in trouble. I'm paying for lawyer fees, I'm doing this, I'm doing that. They draining me. You know what I mean? I can't even focus on what my craft is or whatever. You hear basketball players, somebody this, you hear football players, anybody who done reached some kind of success, eventually, for you to reach real success or for you to take that step to the next level, you're gonna have to cut that circle down because it's too many distractions. And the thing about it is, bro, you be having people around you that are crash out in an effort to impress you, but not realizing it's putting you in a situation that's just like you, bro. If you going out somewhere and you got people around you and somebody gets, somebody shoots somebody that's that's that's with you, nobody knows them. They be like, Yeah, man, them niggas with old out there shooting and doing this and doing that. Your name involved. You ain't had nothing to do with it. You over there minding your business, chopping it up at the bar drinking, but you but you the name, you the face. So that's what comes with that. So it's like you can't have that many liabilities around you, especially niggas who come from where we come from, bro. They don't know how to be diplomatic. They don't know I'm gonna step on their, you know, hey bro, don't even worry about it, brother. It's all good. Let's just, you know, boom. Niggas crash out. Like, nigga, who was you? So it's like you can't have people like that around you when you got shit to lose. You understand? So that's the yeah, what she's saying as far as that is of the utmost importance. Um, but also, too. We gotta start feeling guilty about that too. We be feeling guilty about it. Like when we elevating, you want to take everybody with you. Even people that you know don't belong in them situations, you understand? And and you putting yourself in jeopardy. It's just like back in the day when we was going to kickbacks and shit. You can't bring all the homies around certain women. You understand? You certain niggas, you you may hoop with them. You may, you know, y'all link up, play the game or something like that, but you ain't bringing him around when there's five, six women in the room and we try everybody trying to be smooth and we trying to. Because certain niggas don't understand smooth.

SPEAKER_05 54:03

You scaring the whole in many forms. Many forms preach many forms, nigga. You got the slow music on, everybody just, you know, in their bag. This nigga wanna come out.

SPEAKER_06 54:18

Hey, nigga got this new Glock, nigga. With the extended, we don't know the type of time. You know everybody in here. Why you gotta bring the nine, the 40?

SPEAKER_03 54:37

Why you gotta come on the 30 bar test in that motherfucker. That bitch looking like, oh my god, what's wrong with your friend? Yeah. Nah, that's real rap. The reset. He's about to leave. Look, man, we all had to learn the hard way. We all had to learn the hard way. Um, but yeah, so at the end of the day, bro, you can't take everybody with you, man. Shout out to Nipsey. Nipsey spoke about that a lot. And you just need to pick the people who got the same mindset as you got. And I don't mean you beef with the other homies. It's just that you don't fit into where we're going here if you ain't willing to make the changes. Now, you got some who willing to make the changes, who willing to, you know what, I'm gonna leave all that shit behind. Let me learn and let me elevate and let me be able to fit into this new environment. But you got some niggas who ain't changing. I don't give a damn how much you try to teach them or coach them up. You know what I mean? Those the ones you can't bring everywhere. You can kick it with them in certain environments, but I can't bring you with me to the BT Awards or the corporate dinner or the Essence Fest and Vest Fest and shit like that.

SPEAKER_05 55:45

You know, that's doing that. You might be drunk or high before you get there.

SPEAKER_03 55:54

All right, man, we're gonna keep it moving. There was another clip. They was talking about likes destroy marriages, not love. So we're gonna break this clip down, see what they had to say.

SPEAKER_00 56:06

And so those are the that's the love part. Now here's the like part. The like part is what you need in order to be happy. What destroys a lot of marriages is not lack of love, it's the lack of likes. Wait, what? What destroys most marriages, you know that they are couples that they don't like each other, but they stay together and they still love each other, but they can't stand each other. Yep. What destroys most marriages is you won't stop doing what I don't like. For example, I love my wife, but I don't like the way she dresses. I love my wife, but she will not work out and get in shape for me. I love my wife, but I can't stand the raggedy way in which she talks to me. So a lot of times it's the likes that are destroying the marriage, but you stay there because you actually love the individual. Think about it. A lot of our parents, they stayed together for integrity and love's sake. You can love somebody and not like them. And you can like somebody and not love them. So that's what I teach. I teach this is what the Bible says, this is what the Bible says about love.

SPEAKER_03 57:15

It's not the love, the lack of love that kills the situations. It's the pile up of things that I don't like that kills marriages. You were speaking to basically if so much if you start doing so many things that I don't like, eventually that chips away at the love that I have for you. And once the love gets starts getting chipped away at, that opens the door for outside opinion, um, insecurity, doubt, second guessing, lack of trust, lack of belief, more importantly, in your partner. But it started with you doing the things that I don't like and refusing to change those. So what's your thoughts on that, oh? The man said it's not the lack of love that breaks most marriages. It's the pileup of things that you don't like that breaks marriages.

SPEAKER_05 58:07

I definitely agree. I definitely agree a thousand percent. Um similar to how, you know, we always were, you know, taught coming up, like how the when you dating and engaged, like it's it's just amazing. Y'all going out, having a good time, you having date night, you having sex often, you know, things like that. But then as you get when you get married and that time starts to pass, you know, a lot of those things that you were doing dwindles down. You know, you know, she was she was she was happy and she had the energy for you and things like that because you were courting her, you were treating her as such. And so I think a lot of times people stop doing what it took to get their person. Like do things change? Do people change? Absolutely. But the overall mission is to still date that person, that is still the reassurance, it's still the back rubs, the foot rubs, just the kind gestures. Like you started off the first year or two buying women flowers a couple times a month or whatever. Now y'all in year 10, you ain't bought the woman flowers since the last holiday, last Mother's Day. You know what I mean? Like eight months. You know what I'm saying? You're getting a one time a year now. So I think it's things like that, again, like the things that they like and the things that they appreciate. I think, yeah, man, people, people just stop doing it. People really stop doing it. You stop, you know, talking to them real sweet. Not everything, she's getting on your nerves all the time. So you snap it at uh you know what I'm saying? You're not you're not being a gentleman, you're not being sweet, you're not wooing her like you was at the beginning. Right. And of course, yes, time does go on and things do change, but not saying that it's gonna completely go away, and I'm not saying you gotta do exactly everything that you were doing before, but a lot of that still has to say, stay in some type of capacity. Some kind of way. You have to be consistent with what you were doing to keep that fire going. Because otherwise, yeah, you're gonna, it's gonna sound like she's nagging, it's gonna sound like she always, you know, bringing things up, but then you gotta look in the mirror. I'm talking to the fellas, you gotta look in the mirror and be like, what am what am I not doing? You know what I'm saying? Why am I not making her happy at this moment? Now, there are cases where, yeah, it is her. It's just her. It ain't nothing you can do. You've tried the reinsurance, you've taken out on days, you've, you know, if she wants to get her hair done different style, you did that. If she wanted some type of body transformation, you did that, she was still unhappy. Those are like the exceptions. But when you're doing what you're supposed to do, and as a man, and you know, you covering the checking the boxes that you should be doing, I mean, I think she's gonna, yeah, she's gonna continue to like you. You you're gonna continue being a gentleman, uh being sweet to her, you know, kissing on the forehead when you're coming in from work. It's like that type of stuff. You was doing that early, and now you come home from work, you walk right by.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:18

Dapper, did you good? Nah, that's crazy. That's real rap, though.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:23

So, yeah, just consistency, man. The things you did together, you have to be consistent with to keep them.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:30

Yeah, I mean, that's the that's the problem. I think people think love washes away the need for the small things to happen. Just because I love you, you're gonna tolerate me slacking here. You're gonna tolerate me not buying you flowers, you're gonna tolerate me not uh going above and beyond and cooking and cleaning or showing up for you or ironing your clothes to where I used to, or making sure the car's straight like I used to, and just checking on you, listening to you like I used to. You think the love, because that person loves you so much, that that gives you a get out of jail free card for the small things, and that's just not true. The small things is what made the relationship. That's what made them fall in love with you to begin with. It's not the big gestures, it's not the, you know, whatever, it's the small instances to what, damn, you really thought about me with this. And it could be something as small as ironing her shirt before she's getting ready to go out, or you understand, like putting her keys by the by the door so she don't, because you know she'll look forgetful or whatever. Little things like that that that you did, that's what made her fall in love with you. And simply thinking love is gonna overshadow all of that. And don't get me wrong, it will for an extended period of time. I mean for a certain amount of time. But after a while, the lights start adding up. It's like I don't like the fact that you didn't change so much. I don't like the fact that you don't talk to me with the same grace that you used to. I don't like the fact that you don't listen when I'm talking to you. You you're trying to jump in and you're interrupting me and things of that nature, and I don't feel heard. I don't like the fact that you say one thing and then do another. I don't like the fact that you promise and don't deliver. I don't like these things. Eventually, all those don't likes add up, and then I start questioning whether or not I love you. And that's when you're in trouble, which is what he's saying. So it's like, bruh, the the love is gonna buy you some leeway, but you can't lean on love like that's all it takes for this relationship to sustain. Because let me explain something to you. It's a lot of people who done got divorced that love each other to death to this day, but they are not together. You can love somebody from a distance. I can love you and not have you next to me. It's family that I love that that ain't that that I don't talk to. It's friends that I love that I never speak to again. Love is not enough. It's not, it's how you showing up for me on in in the small ways, the loyalty, the thoughtfulness, the prioritization, the things of that name. It's the small shit that's gonna make or break the relationship. And those who learn that, they together 40-50 years. Those who don't learn that, they in family court and still love each other.

unknown 1:04:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:24

So yeah, I agree a hundred percent, man.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:26

You see the especially some of them couples, man, that be so fly, like, you know, they in their 60s, 70s or whatever, and they have a good time and flirt like they just got together. Right. You know what I mean? Like that's the type of stuff you gotta be on, and the reason why they are successful. And it's cause they want to be there. I think that's another thing too, because like you said, if it's something that my person likes, I'm not gonna have a problem doing it.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:58

Right.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:58

If you have an issue with what they like, I don't know, man, you gotta look at yourself in the mirror. Like, do I really want to be here?

SPEAKER_03 1:05:06

But you know what happens though? Is that the stuff that we like, we don't stress the urgency of it enough sometimes. And that puts in your part in the head that it ain't that important. But because we don't want to nag or because we don't want to complain too much, we'll just let it slide that you didn't do the thing that I actually like this time. And it can be small things, but you let enough small things slide and resentment starts to build. Yeah. So a lot of times, and I'm not saying all the time, because some people are just, you know, they just get in a relationship, get complacent, get lazy. But sometimes they get in a relationship, and the first time that they slacked off, or the second or the third time that they slacked off on doing that thing that you like, you didn't check it. You didn't say, hold on, this gotta happen. Like, I need this from you. You just, ah, you know what? I ain't even tripping, you know, it's all good. And now you're training your person to not do the things you like while simultaneously building resentment for them for not doing the things you like.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:14

Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:15

So we gotta speak up, you know what I mean? And and this is especially with men, because women are women are called out every time. Immediately. Immediately. They don't waste no time. But men, we'll let some shit slide. Like it's a lot of men can't remember last time he got hit. It's a lot of men who can't remember the last time his woman cooked his favorite meal. Because cooking and cooking his favorite meal is two totally different things. You understand? It's a lot of men who can't remember the last time that that she just did something specifically for him. But he's so manly that I'm not gonna call that out and say, hey, I wish you would be a little bit more attentive to me. Or hey, I wish you would, you know, do this for me a little bit more. You know, I I I I hadn't got that in a while. I just that don't even feel like a manly conversation to have. But all in all, you teaching your woman not to give a damn about the things you like.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:14

Facts. I think too, as men, we gotta also stop. I don't want to say it's the wrong way. Just basically start putting ourselves first. I think we're just naturally want to take care of the household and put other people first. We put our feelings on the back burner. 100%. So, for example, like the examples that you're using will not go to our woman because she had a bad day. Exactly. Or because she's hasn't been in the best mood or something like that. But you think your woman gonna care if you're having a bad day? Yeah, babe, I'm sorry. You know, I know this might be bad timing, but it's coming. It's coming, brother. And we don't, we be like, man, I ain't trying to put that burden on or think it's a burden, or, you know, I know she ain't been feeling her best last couple days, so man, I'm just I'm not even gonna worry about it. No, no. Like you said, babe, it's been three months. You ain't even looked at this thing.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:18

I know you're sleeping, but uh facts.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:29

Speak up, fellas. You know what I'm saying? Speak up. Baby, this it was this the this the fourth Father's Day where all I got was a card. I would like something more than just a card for Father's Day. I would like take me out to dinner, show me some type of, give me, I like some shoes, you know what I mean? Or give me a graphic tea or something that I like. Like, I don't, I don't, I don't just want a card. My boy came to part today. You know what, bitch, fellas, we gotta speak up for real, for real. Because you know, she you give her just a card. She.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:15

It's not passing. Yeah, nah, never, never. But I think also, too, as men, we gotta realize that our urgency that we put on keeping the peace in the house, we disrupt that when we not at peace. We be thinking that, you know, we being a martyr to kind of save the peace in the house or to keep the frequency at a certain level, but we don't realize the fact that resentment is building within us too, and we think we hiding it, but we ain't. So because we frustrated and because we a little short, got a little attitude, get a little distant, want to start going out more, now that's causing her to have anxiety and causing her to not feel confident and not feel good about the situation, and now the whole house is in chaos anyway, in your effort to protect the peace. I'm just not gonna say nothing because I want to protect the peace in the house. I want to, you know, whatever, whatever. But the resentment building up in you, regardless, bruh. Like sometimes you gotta sit her down and look, baby. I know it may be a bad time. It's like bro saying, but hey, this gotta happen. Simple and plain. You know what I mean? But the more we hold stuff in, like holding stuff in, and that's oh man. Damn, I hate that so many men are programmed to do that. We be thinking that holding stuff in is saving everybody and protecting everybody, you know, and that shit don't do nothing but drive us crazy from the inside out, man.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:59

Man, low-key, like women, y'all can tell me if I'm, you know, telling truth or not, but I really feel like women honestly seek our feedback. 100%. We just don't really tell them. We just be so closed off. Like, I really think if you went to your woman, if you went to your woman on just some random, like, y'all just had a good conversation. Or or not. You're saying y'all watching TV, and you know, maybe y'all in separate rooms, you're watching TV, and then you come in and hey, babe, real quick, you got a second? And be like, you know what? Hey, babe, that meal you made last night was fire. But you just a little heavy hand on the seasoning, just a little bit. Just a little bit. You know, just pull back just a little bit. Outside of that, it was it was straight. I she would take that feedback, I think. 100%. But you continuously let her some salty ass food.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:48

Now you got high blood pressure and dyes. And you mad enough. You know what I'm saying? Just small feedback.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:00

Hey, just pull back just a little bit. It was great, it was fire. Just pull back just a little bit because that was a little bit salty, baby. It's real rap.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:07

Oh. That is real rap time. We're gonna go ahead and get into QA, man. What you got for me today, y'all? Got a lot of them in there, man. Appreciate everybody that's been sending questions. Also, Patreon, man, make sure that y'all send some questions, bro. Like y'all got priority. You know what I mean? Y'all been, y'all, y'all be acting like y'all, y'all too cool for school to send questions in. Make sure y'all send them through, man.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:30

Okay, so Rugger, so I I do have one. I seen one before I came here. I thought it was pretty, it was interesting. So she said, is it true? I ain't gonna say who it is. Is it true? The fastest way to get over someone is to get under somebody else.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:49

No. No. Um, I think that that's a way to distract you from the work that needs to be done and from the game tapes that need to be watched.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:58

I agree.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:59

Because it feels better. You know what I mean? Like you distracted. It's kind of like thinking alcohol and drugs is gonna help you get through your problems. It's just like, yeah, but after you come down from being drunk or after you come down from being high, them problems are still right there. So you're gonna have to address them in one way or another, and it's gonna be uncomfortable. It ain't always gonna be a smooth situation. Sometimes, bro, watching them game tapes is rough because not only do you see what they did to you, you see what you let slide. You see the stuff that you missed, the stuff that you wasn't paying attention to, the stuff that going forward you need to change in order for the relationship to go right. But if you just jump under somebody else and jump into a new relationship, I feel like that's the mistake that most people make. Most people don't watch the game tapes the way that they should. Especially if the straw that broke the camel's back wasn't their doing. They use that to kind of rationalize the fact that, hey, man, I did everything right in this situation. Let me move on to somebody. I just gotta find a better person. And that ain't the case. Sometimes I miss some shit that I wasn't supposed to miss. They said this in the beginning of the relationship, and now that this done happened to me, I damn. I should have paid a little bit more attention to that when they were saying these things. Or I should have asked more questions to dig deep and figure out what type of household that they came from. I should have asked more questions to figure out how their past relationships ended so I could know what to look for. I should have figured out all these things so I could know the triggers and how to navigate them and things of that nature, but I didn't do that. I didn't even dig deep. I was having such a good time. It was so fun at first that I let a lot of things slide that I shouldn't have let slide. And that's what I mean by watching the game tapes. Because the thing that they did to end the relationship, that was just the start that broke the camera's back. That wasn't the sole purpose of the relationship ending. And if you think that that's the case, you're gonna go into new relationships and they're gonna end the same damn way.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:01

One thing I'll say about relationships too, man. Relationships are not fun. It's work. It's gonna be work, but it's beautiful. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? It's beautiful. Like, I think a lot of people, and it's mostly women, but I love y'all. Like y'all, y'all treat, y'all treat relationships like it's like always a line dance party. You know what I'm saying? You you go, you have your workout, you still sweat and good time, and you know, all that stuff. But you ain't never been in one of them classes where you lifting weights and you doing bear crawls and you, you know what I'm saying, squat jumps, and you gotta get into that squat rack and put some weights on it. And you know what I'm saying? Like, that's the relationship. Right. Work, repetitions, weight. That is the part of the relationship. And then when you do that over and over and over and over and you being consistent with it, that's when you get the results. That's when you start to quote unquote like share the pounds and then start seeing the results and and seeing the the body figure that you want. And then outside of putting in the work, using the same analogy, it's also in the kitchen. You gotta make sure you the proper nutrition, what you feeding yourself. So, you know, using that to the relationship, like you need to be whether it's is reading some books together, spending some time together, like y'all gotta be pouring into each other as well. It's not just going out and and on dates all the time and distracting y'all selves. Like, it's way more to that to the relationship, especially if you're gonna be building with somebody for years and years and years. Facts. You know what I mean? Like it time gotta be put in. Sacrifices. It's gonna be some crime, there's gonna be some days where you don't want to be there, but you gotta go do it. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 1:16:55

So yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:59

Being up under somebody, yeah, that is that's a temporary distraction. Find something else is more productive. Okay. Why do some men think being emotionally available is feminine?

SPEAKER_03 1:17:14

Because a lot of women have weaponized the man being emotionally available. Um, I think that a lot of men don't feel like it's safe to be emotionally available. Men are taught to be hard. We're not taught to be expressive, we're not taught to complain, we're not taught to nag, we're not taught to speak to things that make us uncomfortable. We're taught to just figure out how to navigate it. Right? And oftentimes when men try to be vulnerable or men try to, you know, express maybe some things that may have him moving how it is that he's moving, um, on Mad Day, a lot of times that gets used against him. That gets brought up and that gets weaponized when your girl is mad and things of that nature. So that's why a lot of men feel that way. And don't get me wrong, I don't think that that's all women. I think that there are a lot of women who would be willing for their man to be vulnerable and express, you know, the things about him that he's not comfortable with or whatever the case may be. But I think because there are some women that weaponize it, it scares men from wanting to do it completely. Um but yeah, I mean, I think men just not wired to be emotional. Um, I was talking to my old lady about this the other night. We was having a very deep conversation on the couch, and I was telling her, I was like, I don't feel like I have the emotions of a regular person. I don't. I think I was programmed to be stoic. I was programmed to be nonchalant, or when things bother me, I I fix it on my own time. I don't bring it to you, I don't express it, I don't, and and I told her, I was like, it's not even with you. It's period. I don't call my boys when I'm feeling, you know, um, in inadequate, or whatever the case may be. I just kind of isolate and I kind of lock in and figure out what do I need to do to work on that weakness. That's how men are wired. It's not a personal thing. I think a lot of women take it personal when a man is not as emotionally expressive as maybe they want him to be, but a lot of men just not wired that way. One, and two, it hasn't been safe for a lot of men when they attempt to do it.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:30

I would I would say, man. So we gotta speak on she's saying emotions. And I think men are emotional, for sure, but how we channel those emotions is really what it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? That's true. So you want you so you saying like emotionally like soft or just being open and developed, because a nigga is emotional, he's gonna be angry, you know what I mean? But that's a part of that too, is a good bit of it, is just because men have so much built up. And so when it comes out, you know, is that way that we don't know any other way to express it, but that way, but physical and just loud and just aggression, and that's just because it's like it's in our DNA.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:21

And that's the only way we get to maintain our manhood when we express it. Because if it comes out any other way, itself for aggressive or violent, it's like you you you leaving yourself vulnerable. And like I, yeah, that's that's of the utmost importance. I think I think I think that a lot of men want to be more expressive. 100% and and and and things of that nature. But again, if you've been programmed to be a certain way for so long, it's very hard to pivot to do a 180. You know what I mean? Because you got people who, you know, let's say Drake, like when he first came out, people's calling him soft. Because he's talking about his feelings, yeah. You know what I mean? So, but then you got people like uh Pooh Shisey or King Barne or somebody. You never hear about no vulnerabilities. It's all aggression, it's all this and it's all that, and they like look up to him for that. So it's like But it's still emotions. Sure. Because he's talking to what he's going through. Sure. But it's like society kind of and to be honest, it ain't just women, it's men too. Society kind of prevents us from being that way without ridicule. But one thing everybody can respect is aggression, violence. Everybody can respect. That's a that's a universal language. Facts.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:40

Like you if you think about jump rap and RB. RB, soft. Rap is hard. Like, just off top. It don't matter what you're talking about. You could be singing? You could be soft.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:54

Singing ass nigga, man. What are you nigga singing?

SPEAKER_05 1:21:58

That's rap. Facts, man. And we yeah, we we we just gotta do better with that. We gotta do better with that. And but okay, do you feel that men should be selective with who they're emotionally available with? Or should it just become to a point where, you know, whoever it is he's dealing with, he's open with them just so it becomes more natural.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:24

I mean, I think he definitely gotta be careful. You know what I mean? And this is deeper than relationships. It's friendships, it's business, it's everything. Because the fact of the matter is showing your weaknesses opens the door for people to take advantage of you in all aspects. Whether it's a relationship, whether it's friendship, whether it's business. Right? It's just like in negotiations, right? That's why you don't reveal too much about your situation or about yourself when you're negotiating contracts or when you're doing this or doing that, because people are gonna use that as leverage. It's the same with, you know, running around in the street. Like we we can't be too vulnerable or express what's gonna make us move too much because people gonna weaponize that. You done had niggas who who who might have might have been in the street, but he was tender. Niggas done kidnapped this girl or something to get him to do what it is that they want them to do because they know that this is his weak spot. Or when you get a kid, or when you got this is your weak spot. So it's like I can use that to take advantage of you. So it's like, yeah, you gotta be careful with who you say things to. And it's the same with women, you know what I mean? It's about picking a woman who's mature and who's made it okay for you to take baby steps in that regard. And eventually you start opening up more and more and more. But yeah, just to meet a chick and y'all vibing or whatever, and then you get to dump in a bunch of vulnerable shit on her. Hell nah, no man should do that. You gotta be very careful with that because it's a it's a safety thing when it comes to that type of stuff. Um I mean you look at like, you know, a lot of rappers who done got shot, or a lot of people done got shot. A lot of times it's old chick. Nigga was too vulnerable. And then she got mad at him and told somebody else his weaknesses, or told somebody else, you know, his schedule, or whatever the case may be, and and and now you got a mode three situation, or now you got a trouble situation, or now you got a, you know what I mean? So it's like the vulnerability can can only happen when it's when it's with the right person, but it's just about you knowing how to pick the right person, which is another conversation. Oh, sassy ass, nigga. Come on now, you know how I go?

SPEAKER_05 1:24:34

That's crazy. Come on, nigga. Sassy, we're opening up to you.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:38

Man, but bruh, just bruh, just think about it though. Like when you when you're running around in the street, what's what's the easiest way to get to a nigga? Through his girl. The easiest way. Because niggas be hitting the same chicks, you know, Houston is big, but it's small. Most cities, you know, they big is big, but it's small. Niggas be hitting the same girls, whatever the case may be. But that's most niggas vulnerable spot. If I if I really want to get to you, that's the first place I'm going. So it's like so you expressing your vulnerabilities and super emotional, and oh yeah, we can just that's just real.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:20

She looked and she took.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:21

Come on, man.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:23

All right. Um let me see. Determine okay, so this lady said, determine the difference between having patience with a man versus lacking boundaries with a man. Determine the difference between having patience with a man versus lacking boundaries with a man.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:51

Um, it shouldn't be no patience for your boundaries. Boundaries are to make you comfortable, not them. So ain't no wiggle room. Ain't no gray area. Ain't no, okay, you're gonna eventually grow into it. My boundaries are my boundaries. And once I announce them and you are aware of them, if you violate them, you will be gone. It ain't no maturation process when it comes to somebody's boundaries, but goes back to what I always say. People be setting fake boundaries. You ain't really willing to walk away over that. So don't call it no boundary. Call it something else. But a boundary ain't no patience. Right. Ain't no me waiting for you to get there. No, this is what it is. If you violate it, you gone. And that's how people gotta move. But if you ain't willing to move like that, don't call it no boundary, because that ain't a boundary. Facts. That's a suggestion.

unknown 1:26:47

That's real, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:26:49

If you ain't willing to walk away from that's a suggestion. That ain't no boundary.

SPEAKER_05 1:26:54

I have a preference. It ain't a requirement.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:56

That's a preference.

SPEAKER_05 1:26:58

I agree. I agree. I mean, going back to what you were saying earlier the about the boundaries and then just uh what you, you know, will let pass a couple times because it doesn't mean that much. Like it's it means something, but it ain't that much to where it's gonna make you want to completely back out the situation. So yeah, I agree. It's it's definitely you gotta, if it's if it's a boundary and this is do not cross this line, it's not, oh, I'm gonna be patient and let you cross it and then figure your way back on the other side. No, if you cross that line, you cross the line.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:30

Or you let them cross the line a lot of times and then you're trying to enforce it after they done cross it a lot of times. That you every time they cross that boundary and it ain't no consequences, they lose respect for you. Facts. It's just what it is. Right? Woman and man. This this is a this is a two way thing. Once that boundary is crossed, that person looking at you to see how you react, see how you respond. Oh damn, you ain't even tripped. Oh damn, you ain't you ain't trying to go nowhere for real. Okay. Say no more. That's how people think, bro. So it's like, nah, it gotta be consequences. One thing that's universal that people respect is consequences. That's a fact. But if you just get delaying shit out there and niggas just stepping all over it and doing what they want to do, and then you understand, damn, they don't respect me. They ain't doing it. Yeah, because you didn't implement no consequences. You gotta be willing to walk away from a motherfucker if they if they disrespect you, if they feel like. But most people ain't.

unknown 1:28:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:30

Most people have aspirational boundaries. Yes. I got shit that I wish I could stand on.

SPEAKER_05 1:28:36

No, dead ass. Dead ass. They'll have that line. You step over and they'll draw another one in front.

SPEAKER_07 1:28:42

There you go.

SPEAKER_05 1:28:45

They step over that one, you draw another one in front. And stand instead of saying this first line is the line. Period. Period point blank.

SPEAKER_06 1:28:54

Nigga step over and look at you. And what you do. Nigga, the architect.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:03

Damn.

SPEAKER_05 1:29:04

Nigga stepping over the line, looking at you.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:06

You got eight lines drawing on this motherfucker. It's supposed to be one, baby. Come on, baby. That's why I say if you ain't willing to stand on it, that ain't a boundary. That's a suggestion. Stop saying it's boundaries. Cause that ain't that.

SPEAKER_05 1:29:19

That's a fact. Thousand percent. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:29:22

It drove another line. And another line. Damn.

SPEAKER_05 1:29:29

Come on, baby. Stand on something. Fellas, that's y'all two. Facts. Y'all two, fellas. Y'all too. Letting these women talk to y'all crazy. And she gonna learn. She can't be talking to every man, you know, any type of way. Your ass is gone.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:44

You understand me? Body get by lady, you're gone.

SPEAKER_05 1:29:47

All right. So my this is for my my people with my my uh, I guess, relationship people with families. How often should you date? How often should a date night be when you have three kids?

SPEAKER_03 1:30:01

Um I think like preferably one time a week. But I'm realistic. And I know that life happens like this in a way, especially when you got kids, man. So I say, bruh, just try to get two a month, man. Just two of them a month, just to just to stay solid, just to stay connected, because when you don't have those day nights and when you stop spending that quality time together, y'all turn into just roommates that co-parent. And that's the worst thing in the world that could happen in your relationship, man. You gotta make that time for you. And I know, you know, women especially when they have kids, they do not want to be away from them. Right. You know what I mean? Like I'm talking about they do not want to be, but it's like you have to. Because eventually those kids are gonna get older and they gonna leave. Now you done jeopardize your marriage to be unnecessarily there too much. Just be honest, you know what I mean? Especially when the kids is young, they don't know no goddamn better. Like you wanna, you know, you wanna have that babysitter come in there and do what they gotta do for this two times a month so we can make sure that we stay connected. Because if we lose connection, the whole house is gonna suffer. Kids included.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:12

Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:13

Now you got an attitude, you got resentment, I got resentment, you know what I mean? And then we trying to put on this happy face, but behind, it's just like that meme where the the mask is smiling, but the pep the face behind them is crying. That's how a lot of marriages is, bro. Especially when it's a lot of kids involved. Or kids, period, you know what I mean? So nah, twice a month, I think it's reasonable, but preferably one time a week.

SPEAKER_05 1:31:37

And then, and also one another follow-up to that, what is date night to you? Like, define a date night. Because some people just think date night is just you going out, you gotta dress up, you know, all this good stuff. Like, what is what is a date night?

SPEAKER_03 1:31:52

Date night is simply intentional time set aside for us. That's it. It don't matter what we're doing, you know what I mean? But also it can't be in routine to what we always do. There gotta be something outside of that. You know what I mean? Let's let's go try this new restaurant or let's go, you know, we ain't never been to this park over here. Let's go, you know, get some food or whatever, set up a little blanket, let's go to this park right quick and just check it out and things of that nature. Or it could be a staycation. Let's just get us a hotel room downtown somewhere, you know what I mean? Eat good that night, come on back to the hotel, come on back home tomorrow, you know what I mean? But it's just intentional time that breaks the monotony of what's already going on. You know what I mean? So that's how I would classify it. Um But yeah, I mean, you you're 100% night, 100% right. I think most people here day night and they think heavy. Oh man, I gotta spend a lot of money. But it's it's it's just simply intentional time. Especially I'm speaking from a male perspective. When you're talking to your woman, man, and you done carved out that time specifically for y'all, it don't matter what y'all doing, bro. She's gonna be elated simply because you took the time to say, you know what, I'm gonna prioritize you today. I don't give a damn about nothing else for these next few hours or for these, you know what I mean? You are whatever you want to do. I want to make sure that you have a good time. I wanna factor you in. It ain't gonna be no phones, it ain't gonna be no social media, none of that. It's us doing whatever it is that we're doing. If it's a bachata class, if it's paint and sip, if it's goddamn molding clay, like on the movie Ghost, like whatever it is. Just intentional time that breaks the monotony of our normal life. I feel like it's date night.

SPEAKER_05 1:33:42

I agree. A thousand percent I'm with it. Me and my wife, we used to have um we gotta find a new, a new date night, but we used to do um date nights on Wednesdays. And it would be one or two things. So shout out to Jeff Joe, Port Arthur. He a uh comedian out of Port Arthur, and um he hosts um improv nights. And so he do he do a few nights, but specifically we would go on Wednesday, and sometimes we go to a live show, but most of the time we kind of watch it at home.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:13

Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_05 1:34:13

And so, but it would just it was just funny because you got, you know, some people are funny, some people be seasoned comedians, and you know, this hit or miss where when they'll be on, but then they also have a few regulars. Right. And so it was just funny because it's like, okay, if you're supposed to be a comedian, you're supposed to be working on your craft. Right. You've been telling this same joke for six months, and you ain't remixed it not one time. You know what I'm saying? So we just like, you know, we had our inside jokes about that, and you know, every now and then we'll, you know, say a joke from that. But I mean, that was that was like something that we did because we like comedy. That's fine. So, you know, just seeing, you know, who out here in a community, and you know, if they live, we may follow them on their uh IG or something like that. But like that was what we did, but now we gotta find something new because I don't know, they they in some negotiation talks. I don't know, there's something going on where they not streaming their lives like they used to. Gotcha. So it's been like it's been like three months. So it's been throwing us off our routine, but yeah. We know it was, yeah, it was it was it was lit.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:14

It's lit up though. You gotta call that time out, man. And also make it specific to what y'all interests are. It ain't always gotta be dinner. You know what I mean? Like that's the that's the you know, that's the easy shit. That's the that's the cheap. You know what I mean? Eat, eat, eat, eat. Everything eat, eat, eat. Think it's food. Y'all have been in every restaurant in the city, but this point you're repeating. Like, come on, man. Just step outside the box a little bit.

SPEAKER_05 1:35:40

You can eat at any time. Okay. Um Lord. Got this last one. I've been dealing with this guy. I feel like I'm gonna be on um tonight's conversation. I've been dealing with this guy on and off for 11 years, but he says he loves me. He's love. Uh uh. Oh Lord, hold on, baby. I need you to y'all gotta write these questions a little better because I'm reading them in real time. Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:09

This ain't no edit. He's reading them how they're written down.

SPEAKER_05 1:36:12

I've been dealing with this guy on and off for 11 years. He says he's in love with me. Help me, basically.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:21

Oh, okay. So you've been dealing with him on and off. But he said, In love with you. Um sometimes a man can love traits about you, but not be in love with you. And I think that's what that situation is. You are very convenient for him, clearly. You've been around 11 years and he ain't put a title on it, or he ain't elevated the relationship in no type of way. So it doesn't take men that long to come to the conclusion of what your potential is with us. 11 years is egregious. I think anything past six months and a man ain't put a title on it, that should tell you everything that you need to know. You understand what I'm saying? At least make it exclusive. But dating on and off, and you know, we we we together today, but we done broke up for three months, then we get back together and we this and we that, and it's just nah, all of that's confusion. All of that is is that a man trying to buy this time in case he runs into something better. You the you the safety net for me. You the consistency for me. And because you serve your you know purpose so well and in the in the small role that I have you playing within my life, I'm gonna keep you around just for that. But it don't take 11 years for a man to figure out whether or not I love you and whether or not I really wanna be with you, I want to be married, and things of that nature. At that point, it's a situation where, like, look, man, this is my goddamn home base. I'm gonna venture out, I'm gonna try to date other chicks, I'm gonna try to find somebody that I'm really interested in, that I'm really like fascinated by and things of that nature. But this is my home base. I can always come back home. I can always come back home.

SPEAKER_05 1:38:06

It go back to like the situation I was talking about earlier. Nigga, go ghost for a while. You don't know why. He don't give you no reason, and just pop back up. And he knows that you're gonna answer the phone. He knows you're gonna invite him over, give him what he needs, cook him a meal, whatever you're gonna do. It's crazy. He's gonna hang out for a few days, bring his clothes over and all that shit, and then go ghost again. So this talking on and off stuff for 11 years is is what you allowing. 11 years is crazy. Crazy. It's yeah. I don't even have friendships that was on and off for 11 years. We done, we done.

SPEAKER_07 1:38:49

That's right.

SPEAKER_05 1:38:50

We friends, we friends, we not, we not. Like, no. I'm sorry, baby. I think you should cut that off. I understand that he says he's in love with you, but if he was in love with you, his actions would have said otherwise. Come on, man. You wouldn't be messaging us that, you know. Because you basically, I feel like you know the answer, but you just want the the validation from us, or you just trying to, you need to hear from us.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:15

Oh, I think she's looking for an excuse to stay. That's that's that's just what it is. I think that men are very clear about who it is that we really value. That's why you have men who will be in a situation with you for 11 years. Y'all break up, he marry a chick in six months. Facts. Men know who is who. You understand? Me and my old lady was having a conversation about this the other day. It's like I'm around a lot of women on a weekly basis. Not once have I ever said, you know what, this is somebody worth worth leaving my old lady over. Never. It's crystal clear who I want to invest in and what my feelings are and where I crash out if something happens to her that I don't like or she's uncomfortable with in any in any type of way. Like, men feel that way about one woman. It's just real. Like he may enjoy another woman's company, or he may dabble, or whatever the case may be, but when it comes to real life, she can I don't I don't even want to say dictate my emotions, but she the only one that could get me out of character. Influence. Can influence me and things of that nature. You understand what I'm saying? And it's just like it's a it's a physical pain when we not on good terms. Or when we away from each other and and and things of that nature. Like most men only feel that way about one woman. Right. And that ain't gonna be no off and on situation. I'm not letting you go no fucking well. It's just real. Even if I'm not ready to have you, I'm a I'm a I'm a lie and try to learn on the job before I let you go. Because I care about you that much. Like my my feelings about you are that deep. But for a chick that I don't really care about, yeah, it's good, yeah, yeah, it could definitely be an off and on again type of situation. You know, off and on again. Cause you imagine like the the the chick you love, just think about her on a date with somebody else. Like just the just just the thought of that angers me. It ain't even, I mean, we we ain't this bitch talking hy hypothetically, but just the thought of that makes me feel away. But then you got some chicks who just go ahead and do what you want to do. I don't care nothing.

SPEAKER_05 1:41:36

11 gears. Like now that I'm also questioning, like, your friend group. Like, do you have any males that's anywhere near you? Like, are you even letting them know? Because you possibly not even letting them know, because they'll they'll definitely tell you about yourself. You know what I'm saying? So I think that's one of those situations you gotta get out of, baby, because that's not doing you no good. You wasted 11 years when I'm sure there was probably somebody else that wanted you, but you put them on a back burner for this situation ship that's not gonna go nowhere.

SPEAKER_03 1:42:09

And I think oftentimes, man, a lot of women be scared to slam that hammer down. And don't get me wrong, I don't I don't believe in ultimatums. I just believe in announcing what I'm gonna do if something doesn't happen. I'm not giving you an ultimatum. I'm not giving you a choice in it. I'm saying if this doesn't happen, this is what I'm gonna do. But I don't think a lot of women are bold enough to do that. And as men, we're gonna take advantage of that lack of boldness. But the women who actually bold, that's the ones who get married in six months. Because she told him straight up, nigga, this program is running this way. It ain't gonna be no halfway, kind of one foot in, out, you kind of no. We locked in or we ain't nothing. Facts. And he had to elevate to the level accordingly. I don't casually date. We either serious or we nothing. Plain and simple. Slam the hammer down. But women don't want to slam that hammer down because they scared that they be like, you know what? I bet I'm out.

SPEAKER_06 1:43:15

Weed, weed, weed, G and weed, G, G, G.

SPEAKER_05 1:43:19

No, no, baby. Like dominoes, all money ain't getting money. Let that 10 go. Because if 15, 20 gonna come around that corner.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:29

That'd be the thing, bruh. Like, all quality time, and I understand it's fun to be around them. I understand the sex good. I understand, like, it, you know, they they like make you feel a certain way some of the time. But you gotta look at long-term and likelihood and what this doing to your mental. Cause the the messed up part about it is that when she gets out of that situation, I feel sorry for the dude coming behind them. Cause he's gonna be the messed up her confidence so much and damaged her self-esteem and all that so much to where the dude coming behind them, he might as well come in that bitch with a construction hat and a reflective vest on. Cause he's gonna have to build her back up. Facts. Just real rap, man. But look, we appreciate everybody tapping in, man. That's been another episode of Trill Academy, man. Episode 12 in the books. Um, we back at this thing, man. Make sure that y'all tap into the Patreon. That's www.patreon.com backslash C backslash Trill Academy T-R-I-L-L-A-C-A-D-E-M-Y. Make sure y'all tap in, man. And uh I appreciate the love again, like I said, on all the clips and every all the reposts, all the shares, all the comments, all the likes, all the ratings, man. We definitely appreciate y'all. Because without y'all, there is no us in terms of this platform. So, man, appreciate y'all. You got something to say before we get out of here? Any shout-outs? No, no, not really, not really. Not this time. All right.

SPEAKER_05 1:44:57

So I do, I do, I do, I do. Shout out my baby. There you go. Shout out my baby.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:03

Facts. Shout out my baby, man. My boy, man. On that note, man, we're gonna get on up out of here, man. It's a record from Girlfriend and J-Man. It's called All You Need, man. My boy Obe on fire lately, man. Let's see if he's gonna keep it going this time. We gone.

SPEAKER_10 1:45:31

What I say. I ain't never told a lie, no matter whose heart I break. Let the bridges burn, my asses drift a day. I don't let the tables turn, steal a turn up place. Every girl's called outside. I would never go outside. You know where I stay, you know how I was raised. I ain't never told a lie. Just call my name. I just know it's called I wanna drive you to crazy. I'm gonna slide the night to take it. I'm gonna bet and I'll be my baby. I'll take care of me. I gotta take care of me. I'll give you all you need. I'll let the money quick and beat. I'll give you all you. I need to take care of me. I'll give you all you need. I'll let them out. Quick. I'll give you all you need.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:52

I just don't get that.

SPEAKER_10 1:47:39

I'll give you all these other ten. I'll give you all. I gotta take care of the I'll give you all you need. I'll give you all you need. You do the three for me.