Trill Academy
Welcome to Trill Academy! The mission statement here is simple.. AUTHENTICITY! This is a space that promotes safety, integrity, and most importantly being true to who you are. As long as those rules are abided by.. we'll see you at graduation!
Trill Academy
Episode 13: "Petty Tendergrass"
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
08:23 – Big Tigger in a domestic situation
25:28 – Sarah Fontenot speaks on why women are so promiscuous today
46:20 – The REAL reason couples argue
01:04:30 – Woman gives dope analogy on submission in marriage
01:21:21 – How do you live with somebody who was close to you, betraying you?
01:26:06 – How do you go about finding the woman you want to marry?
01:38:30 – My woman is older than me and God-fearing.. Any advice?
01:44:32 – How do you navigate a partner who aligns but isn’t flirty or expressive?
Man, what up, y'all? What up, what up, what up? Welcome back to another episode of Trill Academy. It's your boy Organico TV, episode 13.
SPEAKER_0313. Trill AC is in the building, man. I appreciate y'all tapping in with us.
SPEAKER_07A lot to discuss, man. A lot to discuss. Um first things first. You know what I'm saying? The cat is out the bag. Your boy will be a father. Yes, sir. Not only would I be a father, I'm gonna be a girl dad. Girl dad. Different kind of pressure right there. How does it feel, man? Man, like my interview, like my post-interview, man. You know, uh didn't go the way I wanted it to. But uh no, regardless, man, I'm I'm still happy. I'm excited. Um I actually I knew it was gonna be a girl years ago. You could have asked me this 10 years ago, I would have told you my first child would have been a girl. Why you say that?
SPEAKER_08Because I was terrorized in these streets. I just I just knew it.
SPEAKER_07I just knew it. Now shout out to uh shout out to uh damn Coach Lou. Coach Arthur Lewis um actually played quarterback for the Cowboys back in the day. He was my uh he was a football coach for us at Brook. He was a uh QB's coach and receivers. But anyway, uh my linebacker coach, Coach Jones, was having a baby during the season. And so, you know, everybody huddled up. We all said congratulations to Coach. You know, everybody, oh, everybody hype. He said, uh, but uh, you know what else though? He's having a girl. Everybody said, oh. You know what that means?
SPEAKER_08He's like, what's up, Coach? He said, that means he didn't go deep enough.
SPEAKER_07Everybody fell out laughing. Jesus, wow. Ever since that day, dog. It's just always dated on our body, dog. That shit was hilarious. But no, I mean, I'm I mean, I'm excited, man. Um, of course, just the selfish side of me, the bias side of me, wanted a boy. Right. You know, just for just cuz. You know what I mean? But um, I'm definitely excited. I know she's gonna be wrapped around my finger. Like, she she she got me. She already got me. She ain't even here yet. She already got me. I already know it. So, I mean, that's all I've been hearing. Um, definitely gonna be picking your brain. Everybody that got daughters are picking your brain. Man. I'm picking y'all brain for sure. Because they told me it's it's said it's different.
SPEAKER_03Bro, I tell you, the first thing that's gonna happen, man, is is first off, she's gonna make you a better man for sure. Mm-hmm. Um, make you more patient, make you more understanding. Things you would have probably flew off the handle over. Um, you're gonna learn to have a bit more grace. Mm-hmm. You know, understanding that right there is gonna bleed into other aspects of your life, you know. I say it a lot, like Ken's made me a better husband. Right. You know what I mean? Um, because the grace that I give her needs to be the same grace that I extend to my old lady. And at first I wasn't thinking like that. I'm thinking, man, you grown, you're adult, you know, what the hell, you know, whatever, whatever. I things that I might get frustrated over or might get mad over, I gotta think to when I'm explaining it to my daughter. Like, she may spill some on the couch or she may do something that may annoy the hell out of me, but I'm not gonna, you know, be in a rush to anger with her. I'm gonna try to make her understand. I'm gonna try to talk to her, I'm gonna try to see where her mind was when she was doing it so we cannot repeat those same things again. And a lot of that translates into your relationship. You're gonna notice a difference and how you, you know, handle your woman. So that's gonna be the main thing, man. Um it's definitely gonna make you a better man, but it's terrifying. Right. As you know already, because you know, as soon as a man here you have and a girl, it's just a terrifying feeling. So, what does that terrifying feeling stem from with you? Um I'm curious.
SPEAKER_07Just literally everything about being a woman. Just thinking about her safety, just making sure the upbringing is right, making sure I provide her with the right knowledge and the tools and the wisdom, just so that when that time does come, because I understand she's not gonna be under my wing all the time. Right. So when she does go out and wanna fly on her own, I gotta make sure that I prepare her as best as I can so that when she does gotta get out there into the world, and you know, it's gonna be days where I may not talk to her or may not see her for a little bit or things like that. Like when she's not around me, is she gonna be making the the right decisions? You know what I'm saying? Of course you think about that as a boy too, but I don't know, man. Girls are just, you know. Consequences differently. Yeah, and a little more sensitive to you.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_07Because, you know, boys can kind of bump their heads a little bit. Girls, it feels like unfortunately, they don't get as much of that that lead way.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_07Because the the consequences are, you know, a little bigger. You know what I mean? So um Yeah, man. And just yeah, just preparing up for the the savages out there. You know what I'm saying? Want to make sure you see a savage first or something. I told baby she'd gotta be a hooper or something. I'm about to have some type of dog, go out there and play football. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Well, I mean, that's the thing about having a girl is that, you know, um, they are more helpless out in the world than if you got a boy. You know what I mean? He could always defend himself, he can fight, he can do this, he can do that, right? But with women, it's not the same because if it's a man that's the, you know, uh issue, she may not be able to handle that by herself. And that right there creates a different level of vulnerability. So as a dad, that's why it's so important as dads, and a lot of dads make the mistake of trying to shield a daughter from everything. Like, I don't want you dating until you're 45, you don't need to have no boyfriend, and you know, sex ain't even happening, we don't even need to talk about that, things of that nature, right? But when you do that, you send her out into the world to try to find that out on her own. Exactly. And it's like you can't be too scared to be transparent with her, you know, and that's what my plan was coming in. I'm like, I'm not gonna hold nothing back. If she asks me a question, I'm gonna give her a blatantly honest answer. And once I feel like she's getting old enough to start dating and thinking about boys and all these different things, I'm gonna sit her down and we're gonna have a real conversation as far as how things go. Because those type of women are just better equipped to deal with everything that's going on outside, right? But if you've been shielding her and protecting her, and I don't know boys around, then when she leaves that house, she green. And that's the fastest way to be a victim outside, uh dealing with men specifically, is to be green. Right. So you can't have that. You know what I mean? If she makes some mistakes, she ain't gonna be able to say, well, I didn't know. Or daddy didn't tell me, or whatever, whatever, you make some mistakes, that's your call, but you had the information, and that's all you can do. Yeah.
SPEAKER_07So I'm ready, man. So I'm doing my research, definitely be reaching out to all the all the fellas that I know they got daughters that's you know growing and everything like that. Um I'm yeah. It's gonna be a beautiful thing, man. I think it's gonna be a beautiful thing, man. For sure, for sure, for sure. And speaking of that, too, I'm getting the guys together. Trying to get it the right weekend, but I feel like the perfect weekend where everything is just going, oh damn, let's go, we got Dallas that weekend. But I was thinking about that weekend my birthday. Because it's also when we play the Texans. Gotcha. But we might have to push it back a week. That guy ain't gonna be here. Yeah. Um But I wanted to have like a little diaper party or something like that, you know what I'm saying? Just an excuse to get the guys together, watch some football, sip a little bit, you know what I'm saying? And my birthday, P birthday. So just wanted to get all the guys together. So we're gonna we're gonna work out the details.
SPEAKER_03I'm there. I'm there. Shit, if I ain't on the road, I'll say I'm there. Um but all right, let's go on and get into this docket, man. We got a lot to get into. First and foremost, Big Tigger. Um recently been in the news with some domestic violence uh allegations. Recently, him and his ex, uh Alicia Brown, separated, you know, after a lengthy marriage. I think they was together a decade plus or something like that, uh, child together and things of that nature. But recently she's been in the news saying that he abused her. Um, posting pictures, black eyes, busted lips, all type of things like that, you understand? And um, today, in light of these allegations that first broke maybe about a month ago, but today, or yesterday, video dropped of one of those alleged altercations. And in the video, well, I'm gonna just play the video first, and then we're gonna break down uh thoughts on it. My phone.
SPEAKER_02Take a game. Do you not see autumn crap?
SPEAKER_04Give me the phone in the video.
SPEAKER_03I don't know what's going on. I don't know who that was in the in the background. I got people saying that that's her friend. I got people saying that that's the stepson. I I don't know what's going on. He's something like a young man, yeah. Yeah. So uh for those listening, I'm gonna describe it to y'all, YouTube or uh Patreon, y'all already getting to watch it right now. But basically what's happening is that they kind of wrestling in the in the living room. Uh apparently she went through his phone, took his phone, he's trying to get his phone back so he can leave. But she won't give him the phone. So now he's trying to grab, reach for the phone, you know, that's turning into kind of a wrestling thing. Uh she done fail and hit and hit her face on the ground because she wouldn't give up the phone. You got a bystander who, like I said, is maybe a friend or stepson or whatever. I don't I don't know. But he's there trying to tell him to buy another phone and leave her alone. And uh, you know, you you you stepping on her, you doing this, you doing that. So when this video hit the timeline, um you got people cracking jokes. Fam.
SPEAKER_07I ain't gonna lie to you. I first seen it on the Lil Duval page. Right. Opened my phone up, I watched the video, and when I watched it, I said, I hope they're not gonna crucify this man for this video. I was really hoping they don't be like, oh my god, that's literally what I was expecting. Right. When I opened and started reading the comments, I got so much relief. Like people can finally see the light. Right. And understand that this is the type of stuff that we be talking about. And the only way that people was able to change their perspective now is because you got video. That's it. Because those pictures look, look, look crazy. Which she can black her own eye. Of course. I ain't trying. I mean, I know a movie ain't real, but then line between love and hate, she beat herself up, blamed it on him, blacked the eye out, everything. Women will do that. There are a lot of women that will do that.
SPEAKER_03Context as well. This broke today. Uh she was arrested for apparently kidnapping uh their child together back in 2019. Uh they had gone to family court to get five for four custody. One, and she was supposed to deliver the child to his house and never showed. So, you know, they had been kind of back and forth with that legally. And then today, I guess they found evidence that she intentionally took the kid and ran, despite what the judge's ruling was. Come on, man. Just wanted to add that context.
SPEAKER_07Come on, man. I'm just saying, hey. Fellas, you gotta be careful who you procreate with. At the end of the day. And I'm not, and there are a lot of women who you won't know until situations come up. Right. But I have been in a situation similar. And I had to leave that woman alone. Yeah. So I'm like, girl, you're gonna get me in trouble and I didn't even touch you. I just slammed the door loud in the mother. Room, I just slammed it. She said, You hit me. Nigga, I froze. Oh nah. I froze. Nigga thought it was over. What?
SPEAKER_08How can I prove it I didn't hit you? Right. Nigga here, big ass slam.
SPEAKER_03They gonna ask the neighbors, yeah. It was a lot of ruffling going on. We heard a loud bang.
SPEAKER_08And I'm out.
SPEAKER_07It's like, come on, man. Yeah, nigga. So, yeah, fellas, man, you gotta please be careful. And please, as much as you can, control your temper, control your anger, because these women will sit you there. They will send you there.
SPEAKER_03I'm just I'm I'm just one proud of the response. For sure. You know, because a lot of times women will try to still finesse that woman into being a victim in some type of way. Now, you did have a couple women here and there trying to put up futile arguments. Because he cheated. Right. You understand? Even the the bystander talking about just buy a new phone and leave her alone. Like, what are we talking about, man? You got this man's property. He's trying to get his property back, and you're not giving it back to him. But he's trying to, now he's trying to take it from you, and you your ass is clumsy, so you falling around and it fake crying and all types. It's just, bro, this is a lot of times what men be going to. I'm going through. I'm not gonna say most times, because it's some, you know, it's some dudes out there that just simply be beating their chicks up. Absolutely. That's something different, you understand? But this ain't that. But if you would when this story broke a month or two ago, it was a different energy. Now imagine, imagine if they just had audio.
SPEAKER_07Oh man. Oh man. Yeah. It would look crazy because you got another person in the video saying, hey, get off of her, get off of her. Right. Even though he's saying I'm not on her, and he sounds calm, like it's still like, oh my God, he he got he's standing on her, he got his foot on her neck or something. Like people gonna come up with their own assumptions because you got more than one person accusing him of doing something.
SPEAKER_03And that's the sickening part about it. It's like the the bystander, whoever that was, it's like, bro, you don't a real friend, get a man his phone so he can leave. If you that in fear of your life, why are you holding on to his phone? If this man is beating you up all the time and he's abusive and you're scared and terrified of him and all of these things, why would you grab his phone and and provoke the man to come physically take it from you? Like, that's just what doesn't add up to me. You understand? And it just makes me look at a lot of things with it's just like, bro, all of this believe all women and all of this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're gonna wait till some evidence comes out and then we're gonna go from there. You understand? Because it this is the type of stuff right here that'll ruin a man's whole life. His whole career, his whole everything. If this video didn't drop, he was now gonna be known as an abuser. That's it. That's it, that's all. Wasn't gonna be able to get no gigs doing the radio, the little TV shows he was doing and none of all that stuff over with. Because nobody wants to touch somebody that even has that allegation on them. Damn the the evidence. You got dudes who done got allegations brought on them and got uh acquitted of it and still struggling in their career simply because the allegation is hanging above their heads. So it's like that's the part of it that just makes me mad. You understand? And then two, she jeopardizing real victims when you do things like this. Cause it's actually real victims out there who are getting abused and are stuck in a relationship that they're trying to get out of and trying to get away from, and they trying to tell people that this is happening and nobody's believing them and things of that nature, and this is gonna be a case to where people say, Yeah, nah, I ain't believing that hell nah. Women all the time. Because of what you're doing, simply out of spite, simply out of anger. You understand what I'm saying? It don't matter if you went through that man's phone and seen another chick or whatever the case may be, that is not your phone. Period. You could be mad as you want to be, you can divorce him, leave him, all of that, but you can't take somebody's property. It doesn't work like that. You understand? And it's just for her to feel like she could do that without no repercussion is scary, bro. And not only without repercussions, but try to ruin a man in the process of that. It's just like, bro, that is scary, bro.
SPEAKER_07Facts. And if she's wrong, she's wrong. Is is do I want to believe a lot of women? Or do I want to believe all women? Yeah, absolutely. But I also understand as a man how things can look and how things can be perceived, and how women can just weaponize just being a woman in general, and I can go against a man. Right. That's things that a woman can never even fathom unless you have a son. Unless you had a dad or a brother, and you got a woman that's, you know, saying and that he's doing something that he hasn't done. Right. Then you're gonna understand, like this, we can't. It's hard. Even you can't even look at a woman too long sometimes, and she might be uncomfortable. Right. And you might be just looking at her because, like, babe, you got a stain, like a something embarrassing. I don't know how to tell you, because I don't want you thinking that I'm you know, sexually assault you with my eyes, but also don't want to be rude. I also don't want you to be uncomfortable. So it's like like men be stuck just in general with a lot of situations on not knowing how to face things because of how things have done been done in the past.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I just got a hands-off policy, bro. I don't I'm I'm like that that's where I'm at with it. Like, even if I was single, you know, that's why people be talking about, oh, you know, men ain't approaching no more. Nope. Ain't doing things like they used to do. Y'all scared, y'all uh yeah. Yep. We are terrified. Because you approached the wrong woman and now she she she accusing you of SA or she accusing you of uh harassment or whatever the case may be, you understand? And it's just like, you know what, I ain't doing none of that. Even with the even with sex. If I'm I ain't initiating that either. You initiating that. Oh, it ain't happening. You understand? Like, that's how terrified that a lot of men are because, like I said, one allegation in that area can ruin you. Like, it's over, bro. Like, I've it's people who done had uh uh brand deals and all types of things pulled away simply off of an accusation, and even once the accusation gets cleared, that brand ain't rocking with you no more. Nike don't even want to be associated with somebody with those accusations. Apple don't want to be associated with the accusation, true or not. And it's just like we gotta be smarter with the women we pick, bro. And that right there is another thing. You understand? It's like, bruh, just because a girl is fine, just because a girl is attracting, whatever the case may be, that is not valid reason for us to get up pregnant and you know, all of these things. It's no, no, no, no. How's your mental state? How did you grow up? Have I seen you in every season? Have I seen how you react when you're mad? Because that's the thing. On Mad Day, you see a totally different person than the one you've been with. Facts. And and that's just real. So it's like if you ain't seen her on Mad Day yet, it don't need to be advanced at all. I need to see you in every aspect of you so I can make a valid assessment because when you don't see the person on Mad Day, this type of stuff is what happens. You got people who will who will just simply because you want to leave and move on to another woman or move on to another situation with those accusations out there. Or try to, you know, take you to court and bury you, you know what I mean, you know what I mean, and just different things like that. You got calling police, just a bunch of different things, and it's like, bruh, I ain't even on that type of time, I just want to leave. But there are a lot of women out there who will not just let you leave. It ain't as as simple as a conversation, and that's what we make me mad when a lot of women say that. Be like, bruh, like all you gotta do is tell me you don't want to be here and you can go. It's not that simple. It never is at all. Because there's plenty of dudes who just, you know what, I'm done, I'm out. And now she she standing in front of the door, she done stood in front of your car. You done tried to leave, go to the hotel. She done pulled up to the hotel. She done pulled up to your mama's house. She calling your job. She's doing this. She doing that. It ain't as easy as just leaving, bruh. And that's what's scary about it. You understand? And that's why you gotta see people in every seat. I need to see if that crazy comes out. Because if it do, we are done.
SPEAKER_07That's a fact. That's just real rap. And even, man, just a little quick game for the guys. I was told, which part of it helps, but it still don't matter at the end of the day. But I was told uh by one of my OGs, E, shout out to my dog E. He always said he got confirmation, like in text. He wanted it written out. Right. That if we was gonna do something, he wanted you saying, I want you, or any of those, you know what I'm saying, like concrete. So if something happened, he got some proof. However, I was with that for a while, but then I started really starting thinking too, because she can say that, and then you get closer to the act and she could change her mind. 100%. And if she don't want to, after all the stuff she done said, after all the touching and whatever y'all doing, fellas, you gotta stop. That's just plain and simple. Because she can change her mind. She has the right to change her mind. You might be horny. It might have been a while. It might have been a while since you, you know what I'm saying? Like all those measures. You could have been drinking or whatever it is. But if she says no or stop, you gotta stop, bro. Pack up and dip right away. Don't try to convince her. Don't try to persuade her. It's coercion. None of that. None of that. If she says she's not ready, hey, okay, you know what? I respect you, give you that time. I'm gonna go ahead and get up out of here.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I mean, she could say she don't want to do it in the middle of the act. While it's happening. You know what? Stop. I don't want to do this. And it's like, as a man, yeah, it's over with. All right, hey, say no more. Boom. I'm done. Like, I ain't confusing. Nothing.
SPEAKER_07It might be very confusing. You know what I mean? You in the middle, in the height of it. But you gotta do what you gotta do. If she says no, bro, you don't wanna you don't wanna take that chance, dog. That's gonna be on your badge for the rest of your life. You got to register for the rest of your life. Yes, sir. Wherever you check in, wherever you move to, you gotta report it.
SPEAKER_03So just dad, don't do that, fellas. It's a it's a treacherous game. But I definitely want to send press to all the real victims and the real women that are being abused and things of that nature, bro. Like this ain't no. I don't want this segment to be a oh, we, you know, invalidating what actually happens a lot of times. Nah, we damn sure ain't invalidating that at all. And we don't stand by that. Any man that's accused, I mean any man that's convicted of doing that, or any man with real evidence of doing that need to be dealt with accordingly. I zero sympathy, zero nothing for that type of behavior. You understand what I'm saying? But this right here, like I said, it makes it rough for the real victims, bro. Because now this cast of doubt is gonna be shed over all of the stuff and even the stuff that's really happening, and they're gonna be able to point to this and say, well, nah, look, because when she did, she lied, so you and that's the part of things that's just sickening to me. You understand? But again, thoughts and prayers, man. Thoughts and prayers. Um, we're gonna keep it pushing, man. Shout out to my girl Sarah Fonteno. Um, if y'all not tapped into a podcast, it's giving. Make sure y'all tap in. She's been doing numbers, numbers lately. And so again, I'm proud of my girl, man. She's doing her thing. They was having a conversation about why so many women are sleeping with so many men. Um, we're gonna play some of this clip and break down how that discussion went.
SPEAKER_02Women sleeping with so many men. One woman is sleeping with multiple men because one woman has multiple bills. This is the height of a prostitution era. This is not about what can you do for me? Let's do partnership in life. How can I add to you? Let's build value together. This is I am in survival mode. I want to flex on my friends at work with the purse or the flowers that my my dude sent me at work. I want to let everybody know that I'm good enough to be chosen, even if I feel empty and miserable, even if it's shallow and all I crave is death. Women right now are more shallow and entitled than ever before. Women are literally, they can be bought. And then even for the What is a lot? What's a dinner? A dinner and a dinner. Or not even a dinner, drinks on the happy dinner. It's not sex for connection, it's not sex for for marriage, it's not sex for with intention. It's literally, I I need to pay my bills, which is why women have no problem a week after meeting you, being like, oh my God, I'm behind on my rent. How is every woman behind on their rent? Do y'all not have jobs for real?
SPEAKER_03She said it on me. Um, but yeah, she said women are basically engaging in new day prostitution. They are having sex with a lot of men because they have bills to pay and they want to get something out of these men. It's not for a connection, it's not for anything else outside of that. What's your thoughts on that all?
SPEAKER_08I think you know how I feel about this.
SPEAKER_07Of course, of course, it's not all women, of course. Of course, of course, of course. But man, I mean, it's it's been a while now that I've seen where like women, a lot of women are trying to be like men. They feel like they can do everything that men can do without the consequences and the repercussions. And then some are also just kind of using who they are, you know, to their advantage. You know what I mean? So you got you got some women who just doing it just to prove that, you know, I can sleep whatever man I want, I can do whatever I want to do, how I want to do it. Can't nobody tell me nothing. If I'm gonna be out there and doing what I do, I'm just doing what I do. But then you got some women who will, quote unquote, do that, but they also have a price. Like, yeah, I may, you know, lay with you tonight, but I'm gonna need a thild. I'm gonna need $1,500. I'm gonna need at least a a $500 dinner night or something like that. Like, there are women who have a price tag. That's just what it is. And then on the other hand, you'll get, you know, you'll have women that get mad at men when they lead with, okay, well, you know, I'll take you out to the nicest restaurant, I'll I'll buy you this, you know, bag or whatever. And like, and you know, women that have standards be like, so what? But when you have so many women when the when the field, like we talk about all the time, when the field, that's how they acting, then that's how you coming. Because for the longest, it was a man needs to take me on a date before he does anything with me. So now he takes you on a date, and now he expects to do something with you. So it's like you set the new standard or the new quote unquote norm, and then when he meets the norm, then it's like, oh, okay, well, now, today, that's not enough. You know, 10 years ago, then that would have been enough, but today it's not. You know, things are getting high. Understandably so. You know what I'm saying? Rent is double than what it was 15 years ago. So, especially when you get, you know, older in age, I think part of it too is just companionship. I think some people look for companionship and some people don't know how to be alone. They, you know, again, testing the market, they like who they like. And dealing with the same person over and over takes a lot of energy. And I I got a question that I want to ask you right after this, because it kind of got, you know, something involved. But um it just it takes it takes less energy with one person just dealing with them just incrementally than dealing with one person for a long period of time. And so I think that's what it is. I can just turn it on, turn it off, whenever I feel like it. If I want to text you back, I can. If I don't feel like it, I'm on to the next. Like, it is what it is. So I think that's just what it is. It just is very microwavable today. Too microwaveable to where, you know, you'll look up and it's like, oh, now I want something. But shit, by then, what you what you say it'd be? You're only on a clearance rack. You're on a clearance rack now. You're at the salvage yard.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. So man, I I don't disagree with what she said. Um, I just don't think that it's the majority of women. With the bill part, for sure, not. Yeah, nah. I think that a lot of women are perfectly capable of paying their own bills and things of that nature. And a lot of women are not necessarily worried about, you know, designer bags and things of that nature. You know what I mean? I think that that's a select few, uh, or that that's a loud minority when it comes to social media. You know, social media is a land of highlight reels. Everybody trying to overimpress and with this, that, and third. But I think most women are not even active on social media in those ways. I think most women are, you know, taking pictures of their dinner, posting videos of their kids, you know, uh get ready with me for the job, the gym, things of that nature. Uh most women are not posting pictures and videos from a yacht or posting pictures of videos from the Louis store and things of that nature, right? They don't really care about that type of thing. So I'm not discounting what she says. I just in that regard, I just don't think that that's most women. I think the reason that a lot of women are having sex with a lot of men these days, or at a higher frequency than maybe in the past, I kind of look at it like the dope game. Um, when it's a drought, you can name whatever price you want to name. Because it's it's so less of it available that people are gonna pay whatever to get it. You understand? But when it's oversaturated, prices get to dropping. You might have been charging, you know, $100 for this pack or whatever, whatever, but now you're letting it go for $50. Now you're letting it go for $25 just to be able to compete with the market. And I think that that's the case with women. Um, I think that sex is so readily available that if you withhold it, you're gonna have to wait and be very, very patient for a man or to run into a man that's like, you know what, I'm willing to wait too because I like you that much. I think most men, if they hear that you're withholding it, they're just gonna move on to the next woman. So I think women are trying to compete and are trying to give themselves a chance to land the man that they actually want. You understand what I'm saying? But at the same time, I feel like they're doing themselves a disservice. Because a man, when we really like a woman, we are willing to wait. You understand? We are willing to take things slower. We are willing to jump through hoops when it comes to making sure that that I get her or that she's mine. You understand what I'm saying? But a dude who there for the sex, it don't matter what barrier you put up, I'm gonna get the sex and I'm out of there. You understand what I'm saying? So I think that that's more of what's going on. So if you just giving the sex up and thinking that that's gonna keep a man or thinking that that's gonna give you a chance to compete, it has zero impact on whether or not that man is there for you or he's there for the sex. So I sell that to say you gotta maintain your standards. You can't look around and be in fear that if I don't do this, this man is gonna move on to somebody who will. Because he just may. But he's doing you a favor if he's doing that. You understand what I'm saying? But the man who's supposed to be there, he's gonna be patient, he's gonna be understanding, and we're gonna go through this thing the right way. We're gonna go through the proper channels to do what it is that the end goal is, which is for us to be together.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_03But that's just how I see it, man. I think it's more of a competition thing. I don't I don't think a lot of women are having sex with bass. Cause I mean, that's that's just let's just keep it real here. Even the women in that loud minority that she's speaking about, they deal with rich dudes all the time and leave with nothing. But wet panties. If we're gonna be honest. Maybe a couple thousand, here there, one, two thousand, something like that, maybe a bag. But they not mess with these rich dudes and leaving with a whole bunch of money and getting rich and all of these things. You understand what I'm saying? Like, that's not the reality of the situation. We was just watching Benad and them on the boat last night, right? They was doing the uh, they was out there for July 4th, him and a bunch of streamers, Deshay and Duke Dennis and all that was out there. It was a bunch of women on the boat, a bunch of attractive women on the boat. And they are they are literally on that boat as being just for pure aesthetic. Mm-hmm. You know what I'm saying? Like, there are a lot of women that uh that we think are getting so much out of these men. All they got on that boat was a couple drinks. Yep. And some and some camera time and some clout.
SPEAKER_07I remember it was like last year or something. I remember they was trying to, they told the chick the Uber home or something like that. She talked about she ain't had no money to Uber home. He was like, You can't take a $30 Uber home? You ain't got no money.
SPEAKER_03And she bad as hell. He was like, Why you with us? There you go. So it's like that's the reality of even that loud minority that she's talking about. Now you gotta select few women who may get a, you know, do pregnant, I mean get pregnant by a dude, whatever, whatever, and be able to turn her situation around. But that's not most women, even in that small demographic. Most of those women are aesthetic for aesthetic use only. You're gonna get a couple of shots of this Don Julio, we're gonna have sex at the end of the night, you might get fed, whatever the case may be, and then you are going home, and it's gonna be a new you in that place tomorrow. So they're not even getting rich or getting paid for the sex that they're supposed to be giving up. So I just can't buy that as for the minority. I think a lot of women have low self-esteem. And they feel like because he'll have sex with me, he's actually interested in me or he actually values me. And that's not the case. We done said it for years. For most men, sex is nothing but a egg but exercise with an amazing ending. That's it, that's all. It ain't no feelings attached to it most times. It ain't no, this is bringing us closer, we're connecting. It's not that. For most men, that's the reality. The dude who really like you, yeah. It's gonna be some feeling there. It's gonna be some, but for most dudes, it ain't that. So for you to be thinking simply because he'll have sex with me that he's interested in me, you are fooling yourself. And that's why it'd be so interesting when you hear a lot of these women that we talk about from that loud minority get to talking about these dudes and their DMs. Oh, I got options, I got this, I got that. No, no, no. You have men who want to have sex with you. Those are not valid options. If you ain't getting nothing but sex out the deal, you ain't getting no marriage, you ain't getting no relationship, you ain't getting nothing. You are getting sex out of the deal. And that's all 99.9% of them dudes in your DMs want to do. Those are not options.
SPEAKER_07Just bragging rights. I got to hang out with such and such. Simple and plain.
SPEAKER_03That's it. So that's just how I see it. And it's and it's and it's unfortunate. But I do want to take the time to salute the women who are standing on their boundaries, who are standing on their requirements, regardless of how long it takes to run into that dude who's actually willing to live up to the bill when it comes to being with her, because those are the relationships that's gonna last. And men who have some integrity and some success and some status and things of that nature, that's what we're looking for when we trying to settle down. I don't want a chick that's on uh uh Benadon's yacht. I don't want to marry a chick that's at the club with Duke Dennis in his section looking for a shot. That's not the woman that I'm gonna take seriously. It's just not. I want that woman who at the club and I don't even really want to be here. My friends drag me out. You want some drink? Nah, I don't I don't I don't even drink. I'm I'm I'm over here sipping water. That's the one that you like, okay. This could be something. You know what I mean? I want that chick that's going to work, coming home, taking care of her business. Like her bills is paid, her kids is taken care of, you understand? Own car, own situation. Like she don't need no man for nothing. That's the ones that we gonna pour into. That's the ones that we gonna be like, you know what? This could be something serious. But just like a chick that you talking about is on the sprinter van and ain't got $30 to get home, I don't give a damn how good you look. You are a liability. Facts. And we can't have that at this age. We got too much to lose. So the women standing on their boundaries, keep standing on them. It may take you a little bit longer, but when you get there, when you find that dude, it's gonna last a lot longer too.
SPEAKER_07So, real quick, so I was giving some game to a young man earlier. And he had a roster. How many on the roster? Four to five. Okay. And so I told him, he was like, Man, I'm I'm done. Cause I've been I've been in this ear for like the last three, four months. Mm-hmm. Be in his ear. He's like, man, I'm done. I'm just I got I got my one. I got my one. I got my one. Like, like I can, you know, I got a sigh of relief. I can breathe a little bit. Right. I was like, yeah. You're gonna be able to breathe a little bit, because you ain't gotta worry about the lies and you know all that stuff, which I say you shouldn't have been lying to the other ones in the first place. But I said, but this is where the real work began. I said, having four to five was light work. It's easy. Having that one, that's where the work begins. He was like, huh? What? What you mean? I said, you'll see. You'll see. So I gave him a little tidbits here and there. But uh, but what's your thoughts on that? Because I told him for sure, like by far, one is way more work than four or five.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah, because you actually have to ride the roller coaster with one. You understand? When you got four to five women, I can deal with y'all at my convenience, and you're gonna show up as the best version of yourself because you're still trying to earn my approval, or trying to be in a relationship. Pardon me, or trying to be in a relationship with me. So I'm getting the best version of you every time we kick it, and maybe one time a week and whatever, and then I'm rotating you with my other three, four, however many I got, and y'all all showing me the best version of y'all selves. But when you get one, you gotta see the good, the bad, and the ugly. And that's where it gets challenging at because when now when we haven't this, when she's mad about you staying out too late, you gotta be held accountable for that. Or when she's mad at you for not communicating the way that you should, you gotta be held accountable for that. Or you're not being as romantic, or you're not listening, or you're not uh uh being as established as you should be. When she's holding you accountable, well, you said you wanted to be in this career, what you doing? What you waiting on? She's holding you accountable in places and having uncomfortable conversations with you and stuff that you deep down know she's a hundred percent right, but you don't want to hear that right now. And the in the four or five you was messing with before, they ain't gonna do that. Because they don't want to make you mad. They don't want to make the situation uncomfortable. So it's like those are the things that you're gonna have to deal with. So yeah, 100%. It's 10 times harder to be in one relationship than it is to just juggle women. Don't get me wrong, like it's more expensive or whatever the case may be, depending on the type of man you are. Because there's some men who four, five, don't spend no money. But that's neither here nor there. The time and having uh to get up for these conversations and act interested in all of these different text threads and having to keep up with the story you told this one, so you can get all of that. Yep. After a while, just get old. The game too easy, because let's just be honest. A chick who a part of a four or five-person rotation, she ain't got the self team to be a woman anyway.
SPEAKER_07Come on now.
SPEAKER_03That's just real. Cause these women be knowing, bro. Let's let's put it on the table. That right there is another thing that kind of makes me mad. Like, I wouldn't be playing victim of like, well, I didn't know you was dating all these days. You knew. You knew.
SPEAKER_07Absolutely.
SPEAKER_03There's one thing a woman gonna do is get to the bottom of something. Especially when it comes to the man that she like. Ain't no, oh, I was caught off goal. I didn't know that you was juggling or not. No, she knows. But she just ain't got the self-esteem to walk. Because she feels like you are worth the challenge or whatever the case may be, like your status or you know who you are as a man. That's that's who she wants to be with. So I'm gonna just ride it out and hope that he chooses me one day. But like I said, a woman who was willing to be a part of before fire woman rotation, her self-esteem is not high enough to be your woman anyway.
SPEAKER_07So again, ain't no man that damn busy in the world to not make time for you.
unknownNah.
SPEAKER_03I'm I'm I'm I'm one of the most busiest men alive, brother, and still make time for what I need to make time for. We just hit 65 shows in eight months. 65 cities in eight months. Date nights was still happening. You understand? Quality time was still being spent. I don't I don't I don't want to hear. I'm I'm busy. That is an excuse. That is me buying time to keep you here until I find the fun the woman that I'm actually willing to make the Sacrifices for. And that's the thing. Every woman is not worth making no sacrifices to men. That's why you have a dude who've been dating a chick for five years. You finally cut off, get a new chick, they engaged in six months. Every woman is not worth making no sacrifices for. For the next woman. It's unfortunate. But that's the game, brother.
unknownI don't know.
SPEAKER_07Hard out here. Hard out here.
SPEAKER_03But but here's the thing. It don't have to be. That's true. Very true. It don't have to. You're right, it is hard, but it don't have to be. If you just be real with yourself. But people ain't real with themselves. People live on Fantasy Island, brother. They be thinking the information be right here. Literally. It's right here. Literally. They'll swim more fast and nah. Nah, I don't want to see that. I want to see what I want to see. And then when they get jammed up, ah man, the Dayton game is so crazy. I don't.
SPEAKER_07Or like the disclosure. You know, you have to read through the disclosure. The nigga just accept it and just keep going. Fuck all that. It's four pages. Nigga, just accept. It's real rap. I'm trying to see the next year.
SPEAKER_03Real rap, bro. That happened in every aspect of life. You got people signing contracts that they don't read. You understand what I'm saying? You got people accepting, just like you say, user agreements every time it's an update. They ain't read a word of it, just didn't accept.
SPEAKER_07Your social security is being sold at every time.
SPEAKER_03And you wonder why these uh uh uh spam calls keep hitting your cell phone. You ain't read the fine print. People do the same thing in relationships. I just want to get to the good part of this. Just like when you read that user agreement. I didn't hit the accept so I can get to the app I'm trying to get to. I ain't trying to, I ain't trying to deal with all that. Same thing relationships. I ain't trying to deal with all that. I don't I just want to be with you.
SPEAKER_05All that shit.
SPEAKER_03Me and you. Stop with me you. Then when it goes left. I can't believe this. I don't understand. It was right here, baby. Just stop and look. Stop and look. Uh we're gonna keep it pushing, man. It was a guy that was speaking on the real reason that couples argue within relationships, man. I'm gonna play this and we're gonna break down what the young man had to say.
SPEAKER_00If they get this one thing, it's gonna change the dynamic of all their relationships. Watch this, bro. How you're experiencing me is more important than how I think you should be experiencing me. Instead of me only focused on how I feel, that should have landed to you. Instead of me only focusing on how I feel about my tone, it's hey, how are you experiencing my tone? It's not even about who's right or who's wrong, it's we're both having two different experiences about the same thing. Relationships are so complex because of that one thing. You are coming with your lived experience, and I'm coming with my lived experience. And now, watch this, we're gonna try to do life together. We must stay curious. Watch this, bro. Instead of me trying to be right, my ego is taken care of. Instead of me trying to make sure I won the argument, I wanna do what's best for the relationship. Not, well, I'm right and you're wrong. What's best for our relationship? What's best for the team? What's best for this particular situation? And everybody's situation is gonna look different. How can we come together, watch this, to find some truth and find what's best. That takes so much maturity.
SPEAKER_03Think the man was speaking gospel, man. He's basically saying that we focus on how what we're saying and what we're doing should be processed by you instead of how it's actually being processed. And that creates a wall between us of each of us fighting to be right, fighting to be heard, fighting to be understood. Um, and that's the main reason for argument. But when the mindset changes from me fighting to be understood to me fighting to do what's best for the relationship, the quality of the relationship improves. What's your thoughts on that all?
SPEAKER_07Yeah, I agree a thousand percent on that. Um especially the last part. Because that after growing and learning, and like we talk about, these relationships are just so complex, man. Like it's just layers and layers and layers and layers. And it's like when you when you you overcome one obstacle in your relationship, it's like, ooh, all right, cool. Like, bad, like me and baby gonna be on the same page. But then nope, you went into something else. You're like, oh no, babe, we just addressed one, two, three, and four, and five. Like, we done been through all these five stages. Like, I thought when we got to six, it was gonna be this way.
unknownNope.
SPEAKER_07Now you gotta get to seven. You know what I mean? So I had to learn that too, because for a for a good minute, there were I mean, it just again, it it's so complex because it's different ways of communication, levels of communication. And so I felt like one thing I had to do was be understood. And I was like, as long as she understood, you know, once she understands me, everything else gonna be better. Cause then I'm gonna I'm not gonna have to, you know, relay my message a certain way, or or she won't have to think that I'm, you know, talking, you know, out of tone, or or she gonna, you know, feel like it's being relayed a certain way because as long as she understands me, then she's gonna know. But that's not the case. Right. Because again, like he was saying, it's two different experiences. And so I could have the perfect delivery, but at the same time, if it's a topic that may be triggering to her, that's something that, you know, happened as she was coming up, or something that we just dealt with not even a year ago or something. Like, sometimes some of those old situations can unfold in real time without you even knowing. And so you have to take a step back in those situations and really understand what's going on versus just trying to be understood. Because so many times, like, I I already know that's a lot of our arguments was just about me being understood when that shouldn't have been the focal point. The focal point should have been me trying to understand her and just making sure we're on the same page or just making sure that what I'm saying lands, not necessarily because I'm saying it a certain way, it should land. So, man, I agree a thousand percent, man. It's again, for your for those of you that's in relationships, I'm sure y'all know what we're talking about. For those of you that want serious relationships, like it's gonna take work and it's gonna take love, it's gonna take patience, it's gonna take grace, it's gonna take you it's gonna take the willingness to do it. Because in real time, you're gonna have to evaluate yourself and really listen and take in what your person is saying instead of being defensive. Instead of trying to be right, instead of trying to prove your point, and instead of trying to over talk them because you feel like you may be losing the battle. Like, it ain't that ain't got nothing to do with it. At the end of the day, you both want to come to a resolution. And sometimes it takes you taking a step back and being like, okay, what do you feel I'm saying? Like, how are you receiving what I'm saying? And then once y'all break that down and get to it, you know, then you can be like, okay, uh now I see where things went wrong, or now I see where I could have did this better or that better. Like, it just it just takes conversations, but when you steady, you know, want to be right and she constantly just expressing herself like you're gonna always hear butt. And it it don't take all that.
SPEAKER_03I mean, I think it's spot on. I think it's um just boils down to humility, bro. Um, I think that's what love is. I think a lot of people are in relationships with people that they think they love, but they don't because the measure of love is me being humble enough to understand your perspective and get to the bottom of why you think that way. Not uh uh uh judge whether or not you're right or wrong. That's not the point. The point is to get your perspective so I can know better how to deliver things and I can know better how to get to solutions without you getting agitated or without you getting defensive or whatever the case may be. But if I don't understand your perspective, if I just come in and say I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do and you're gonna have to adapt to it, that's not love. You don't love that person because love is humility. That is the the like that should be the definition. If there was a one-word definition for love, it should be humility. I wanna be humble enough to come in here and be like, look, baby, this is what I was thinking when I'm saying this. This is the perspective that I'm coming from, this is why I'm doing this, and then give her the opportunity to give her perspective on the situation and see why she thinks that way. How does she grow up? What triggers that? What so now we got all of this information, and now that wall is no longer there because I know what you're gonna do or say before you even do it, because I was humble enough to do my real due diligence on you before I got into this relationship with you. But people don't do that. They come in and everybody's kind of hiding them true their true selves because they want to present the best person available, and then we get into this relationship and the real you is forced to come out, and now we are clashing over everything because things that you would have just conceded to before, just to make me happy, you standing on now. Same with me. Things that I was, you know what, I just let that slide. Now I'm like, nah, nah, that ain't gonna happen. It's gonna either be this or you know what I mean? But it's like these are conversations that we need to have early so we can get to the bottom of why that person thinks that way. But the right questions are not being asked in the courting process, and that's how we get here. We in the courting process asking people their favorite color, their favorite restaurant. You understand? Instead of asking the person, hey, like how did you grow up? Like, what like what was the what was the dynamic in your household? What was the dynamic of your parents' relationship? Like, like, like, like, was it real love? Like, was it intimacy being shown? Did they was it PDA? Did they hold hands? Did they cuddle? Did they? Because that's what you're gonna emulate. You're gonna emulate what you seen. So if we ain't asking these questions, and you know, she might have grew up in a household where there was no intimacy. That she could count on one hand how many times that they told each other they loved each other, or how many times that they held hands when they was in public and things of that nature. So you get in a relationship with it, you wonder why, damn, she's cold as hell. She ain't intimate at all. She don't wanna. But if you're asking the right questions, these things become very, very apparent. You understand? So it's like that's what it boils down to. I gotta come in here with humility to really learn you inside out and not take our differences personally. But just use it as a way to just get closer together because I'm learning more about you, you're learning more about me. So now we can cover each other, we can look out for each other, we can help each other in our areas of weakness because I may be weak in the area that you're strong in, and you know how to navigate it. Now you're teaching me, and vice versa. That's what love is it's humility. And if you don't have humility, the relationship ain't gonna last, bro. I don't give a damn how much you think you love them because you don't love them for real. Right.
SPEAKER_07I want to share a quick personal example. Recently, um I went out of town. I took a few days off to go hang with baby while she was at work and stuff, and so um we get back or whatever, and then I had a couple bills, had a couple big bills we had to pay for. And so we just, you know, we just writing everything down, joting everything down. We got this coming up, this coming up, trip coming up, yeah-da-da. And so I kind of sat back, I was like, dang. And I wasn't necessarily saying it at her, but I was just like, dang. Maybe, maybe I shouldn't have I shouldn't have won a trip. Cause I felt like they kind of I was a burden. So I'm like, shit, me and Aiden could have stayed home and make some hot dogs or something. Like we didn't have to take the trip with you, and then now we spending more money because we out there with you. You know what I mean? And you could have just did your own thing and still have fun, and you know what I'm saying? Like, instead of having to think about extra stuff. And so they kind of set her off a little bit. And so I'm like, man, like what's like what's going on? Like, I'm you know, I'm trying to figure out why she, you know, kind of in her feelings about certain things and and going off a little bit. But it was what it really boiled down to was because I'm thinking I'm trying to help. I'm like, okay, well, if maybe if I make a different decision down the road, then, you know, we're gonna be more than good. I j I just like being more than good, not you know, be on the fence or whatever. So it wasn't that, it wasn't that situation with her. She she was explaining it was more so like she told herself, like a while back, like if she was gonna do something, she was gonna do it. Because of the fact that she had restricted herself before not having fun or just doing things that she wanted to do. Like she always told herself she never wanted to like pretty much like no regrets. She just wanted to do it and and it be done. Like, if you're gonna say you're gonna do it, just whatever, whatever results are, whatever, whatever the results are gonna be. And so I had to sit back and be like, okay, boom. I like I I understand that. I didn't I didn't know me saying that would kind of make her feel a certain way. I was just operating from from myself, just not wanting to be a burden. You know what I mean? And so just after having that conversation, you know, we we we we understood each other, but I'm like, shit, I ain't gonna say that shit no more.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. And I mean that's that's the burden of manhood and being the leader of the house, you know, is we have to have those thoughts. We can't just say, you know what, man, fuck it, I'm gonna just do it. I'm gonna just crash out today. We just gonna do what we want to do. When you got a family dependent on you. You know what I mean? And and and that's what you probably tried to get her to understand. It's like it, I'm not what I had, what I said ain't had nothing to do with you. Right. In terms of your fun and what you should be doing and things of that nature. I'm looking down the line. We're gonna go down here, we're gonna have a great time, but when we get back, it's gonna be consequences for that. That I'm trying to prepare for or I'm trying to be proactive and covering us from. It ain't got nothing to do with you. You understand? And that's what a lot of, it's hard for a lot of women to understand. My old lady was the same thing. You understand? It's like, bruh, I I I would love to have fun. I would love to be just giddy and free for all and just do what I want to do and things of that nature, right? But it's like, I don't have that luxury. Because if I do that and you doing that, who is the responsible one? Who watching out for what's what's coming, regardless of what we do here? Somebody gotta be watching out for that, you understand? And that's our burden as men, you know what I mean? But that goes back to what we're talking about about understanding each other. If you understood how I thought, you wouldn't take that personally. Because you know damn well, I want you to have the best time possible. I'm gonna sacrifice, I'm gonna do what I gotta do to make sure that you can go out there and enjoy yourself and have the best time possible and things of that nature. Even if I gotta stay my ass home for you to do it. That shows how much I love you, not how much I'm in conflict with your decision making or what you're trying to do. You understand? So it's like that that's one of the hiccups when it comes to relationships, bro. Like, we gotta really take the time to understand each other. So things don't feel like an attack or don't feel like a dig or like you trying to come for me in some way, or I'm not trying to come for you, baby. I love you. If you only knew all the sacrifices I was making to make sure that this ship rolled the way that it needs to roll. But you know, I come with the territory of being a man, but I think also too, I think it was dope of you to sit down and really explain that, though. Most men would have just, man, we're tripping, man. We just keep this shit pushing, bro. I ain't I ain't got time to explain. Right. But that sit-down explanation is gonna do wonders going forward. Because now she's gonna be thinking, okay, yeah, nah, baby, probably thinking this, da-da-da. So she's gonna move different and try to maybe set up certain plays a certain way, just to make sure that y'all on the same page, simply because you explained to her the thought process. Right. Something I had to learn. You know what I mean? Always used to try to keep things separate. You know, I used to be in my head making a thousand calculations. And I get a bit distant, or I get a bit quiet, or I get a bit, but you know, I had to explain though, like, no, I'm not getting distant because I'm mad about the circumstance. I'm getting distant because I need to make sure all I's dotted and T's is crossed. Because if something goes left, I need to be able to cover it. Or if something ain't lining up, or potential danger, or potential, you know, I need to get in front of that. Or I need to be prepared to deal with it. You don't never, as a man, want to get to a circumstance and be like, I don't know what to do here. Right. That is actually, that's the the that is polar opposite to what manhood is. And, you know, so that's all it is, bro. It just boils down to understanding. But like I say, you sitting around and having that conversation was dope.
SPEAKER_07Yeah. I just had to understand that, yeah. It was just both of us just understanding each other too, because like I said, she was out, she was, she had been going out of town. I ain't been, you know what I mean, and you know, this was one of the few times where I really had time and made the time to go. And Aiden out of school, so we ain't had to worry about who gonna pick him up, or you know what I mean? It was just like one of those scenarios where it just worked out. Right. So it was like, out of all the times for you to say something like this, it's like it's one of the few times you could have actually came. You know what I mean? So I'm like, so yeah, it was just, you know, a conversation that we had to have, but I'm like, shit, I already know you doing calculations and shit. I already know. You think like I do. But uh, but I mean, yeah, of course I'm like, yeah, I didn't, I don't regret nothing. Yeah, we had we had a good time. You know, it was still light. Me and Aiden hung out, you know, one of the days while she was at work. And uh he about to be a chip off the old block. He liked top golf now. I showed him how to play top golf. Oh, it was his own. He tapped in. He tried to go back there. He beat me. He beat me on one of these games. It was like a Roblox game. Ah, it was cheating.
unknownI ain't like it.
SPEAKER_08So whatever.
SPEAKER_07The game always cheating when niggas lose. I'm swinging for, I'm going to the fence. So I'm hitting all the doubles and the whatever it is. But then we played another one, this Roblox game where you got points for like, I don't know, like the travel on the ground. So he would hit it. It wouldn't necessarily go far. But it'll roll, but it would just roll, and it'd be like plus a thousand, plus a thousand, plus a thousand, plus a thousand, plus a thousand, plus a thousand. So he had one, it was like 36,000 off one. Damn. And I said, what the hell? And I'm hitting it deep. Yeah. I may get eight. Yeah, you ain't got no ground time, you're in it deep. You ain't got no ground time, bro. So he kicked my ass two times. He's like, yeah, I want to go back. I want to go back. I said, nah, we ain't playing that if we go back.
SPEAKER_03We playing grown man golf. We was playing kitty stuff like that. We played grown man golf this time. Meet me at the neck.
SPEAKER_07Straight up.
SPEAKER_03Uh all right, man. What we at? We got what we at? We about at an hour. We got one more, we're gonna get to the questions, man. What you wanna do? Oh, that's crazy.
SPEAKER_08I don't know how to record this whole conversation.
SPEAKER_03Nah, mine was dictating too. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was dictating, man. That's funny. Technology. Uh all right. I think we got time one more. Think so? Yeah, we got time one more. All right, there was a clip, man. It was talking about it it was a young lady. She was given an analogy for submission in marriage. You know, submission is a very polarizing topic. Um, but I think she broke it down pretty, pretty interesting. We're gonna listen to this, man, and and see what we can deduce from it.
SPEAKER_01Imagine it's raining and you're in New York City, and if you've ever been to New York City or in France and it starts raining and people start selling umbrellas on the street, those five ten dollar umbrellas, they're not worth much, but they get the job done until you get home. Imagine you have that man. You have the man that gets the job done. Isn't anything special, but he gets the job done. That man, no matter how little you view him, is made to handle the rain. You were not made to handle the rain, but you were made to hold up that which can handle the rain. If you didn't have that umbrella, you would come back home smelling like what poured on you. When the man comes back in as that umbrella, he gets dried quickly, water repellent, it falls off of him, and no matter how equipped he thought he was, he still was built for the rain. The difference, most of all, some of you want that name and Marcus umbrella. Some of you want the wood handle. Those things are heavy, and if God gave you a man like that, Then you have to be the woman that can hold an because an umbrella that is not used, it can be for the rain, for the sun, it shields, it provides shade, it allows what's under it not to be touched. We are the vessel weaker, we are the vessel that was meant to let the woman that God gave us be held up and used for what he was made. So now as a wife, I wanna say I don't wanna get women, I don't wanna skin burn. My skin's not built for the man. So instead, I'm gonna let the man be who he was meant to be, and if God gave me which he did, my man's about as heavy as this table. That means God made me capable of holding him up. If my man is not doing what he was made to do, it's because I as his wife am not holding him up.
SPEAKER_03Hell of an analogy. So essentially, she's speaking to the disconnect, in my opinion, within most relationships. Um, we are out of order. Dr. Ayanla Vanzant says this all the time, and she she's put it in a much more eloquent way than I can, but we are out of order. You have people in relationships who are trying to take on roles that they don't fit. And especially in this era, speaking to women specifically, because that's the example that she was speaking to. We in the feminism, you know, femininity era, we in the women's uh progressive movement era, all of these things. And simply because that's the case, a lot of women feel like they can do what men can do. And it have no effect on them mentally or physically or whatever the case may be, that they can do it, and that's just the way that it has to be. Um, so much so to where submission is damn near a curse word. It's damn near like you are insulting women when you get to talking about submission and things of that nature. Um, so what she was saying was, like, yeah, God put me here to support my man this way, not do his job for him, because the repercussions of me doing his job for him are gonna be much worse on me than it is if he was to do the job himself. It doesn't matter what how capable you are of getting it done, because what's the point of you doing it and then being broken down on the back end of doing it when he could have did it and been perfectly fine because that's what he was put here to do. What's your thoughts on that uh analogy she gave in regard to submission though?
SPEAKER_07Yeah, man, I agree. Some you have to choose the person that's right for you at the end of the day. But I think a big part of that too is understanding who you are and understanding your value. Because like she said, you know, some women may think you were a Neiman Marcus umbrella, but you are not a Neiman Marcus umbrella. You know what I mean? And you want that type of man when you wouldn't even be able to hold that type of man up. So if we supposed to be equally yoked, it shouldn't be, it shouldn't be like 95.5. Right. You know what I mean, where he's just doing all the heavy lifting, he's doing nearly everything, you barely supporting, you just being there being pretty. I'm like, no, that's not gonna work at all. Yeah. Like you should be supporting him in some kind of way. If that man has a business, help him out with it, whether it's taxes or the auditing stuff, like making sure the paperwork is filed correctly, if he got any important paperwork, like is that, are we keeping that, you know, in a certain folder or in a certain file on the computer? Or I mean, like, there are lots of different ways where you can help a man up and encourage him. And not only that, man, just like even when he comes home, like, if if you're standing at home. If you're standing at home or, you know, you're not doing too, too much, like when that man comes home from a long day of work, like how are you making his day easier? You know what I mean? Are you bringing more problems to him or are you trying to just bring him peace? You know what I'm saying? Bring him comfort. Just tell me about your day. Like, lay it all out. Like, what's going on? What's what's going on to your mind? Like, what's some stuff you've been thinking about? Or not as soon as he comes home, I'm ready to take this vacation. Um, I'm ready to, or can you take me shopping? Or can we? It'd be like, girl, like I didn't bust my ass this whole week, and when I get home, this is what you want to talk about? But what we eating? You've been home all day. You couldn't think about that. And I gotta make that decision too. Like, it just be things like that where where men just need support. Like, I understand that the women that are working, I understand that y'all have a lot going on too. And this is definitely a partnership. But, you know, just like we have to take the reins on certain things and just do it, like it's dope when you do those things too. You know what I mean? Like, hey, babe, I'm just gonna, you know what I'm saying, order, order pizza tonight. Okay, cool. If your man likes pizza, you know, y'all ain't had pizza in a couple weeks, you know, you just want to make it easy, you don't feel like cooking, cool. Like, hey, babe, I just ordered pizza and then I order, you know, like I ordered your 10 pizza and pepper. You know what I'm saying? I'm just gonna, we're just gonna reconvene tomorrow or whatever it is, and we're gonna figure out the next day, but today just gonna be super light. Right. Like it just be stuff like that, not when we when we get home, what you what you want to eat? I don't know. No, I want that. No, I want that. No, I don't want that. It's like something as simple as a meal, sometimes you can't even get on the same page with it. Yeah. So we those women that know their place, those women that are supportive, they can lift their man up, those type of women are very much appreciated. And you can tell, because many times the man will show that. He will reciprocate that energy. You know what I mean? And and that and that woman benefits from being there for him. Like you just take, take, take, take, take. Like, he's not really probably showing you no love like that. I'm pretty sure he got some type of resentment. Anytime you call, it's like, what's she won't know? I seen a post, I seen a post, you see the post the other day. He said, if he answered the phone and say, yes, ma'am, you are a headache. Right. Like you are right. Yes, ma'am. Because, man, like, it's cool. Again, Blakes, we love y'all. We love being around y'all. But um, there's sometimes there's just certain things you can just take away from us, take away from our plate. You know, just make our make our day easier, make our life easier, just like we're out there doing with you.
SPEAKER_03I mean, I think we stay right there because that's the that's the key to this whole conversation. I think that's the definition of a good woman. Somebody who takes more off of your plate than she adds to it. That's the reality of the situation. Um we both have different roles in the relationship, sure. But there's gonna be times to where I'm too tired to fulfill my role. It's gonna be times where you're too tired to fulfill your role. And it's gonna take nothing off me to just step in and take care of what you normally would if you was operating at 100%. So I need that same thing in return. And it's simple things for men because we don't ask for much. We don't ask for extravagant things, right? You got men who can't remember the last time that their woman did anything of significance specifically for them. Not for the house, not for y'all both, but specifically for him. And he could be out here working his ass off. And that is a damn shame. Because how men are wired, you know, I've been watching a lot of like war documentaries and things of that nature lately, right? And they be talking about some of their heroic feats. And, you know, heck, man, we was in the trenches, pinned up, you know, whatever, whatever people were surrounding, was going crazy. And it's like they said, you know, it's people who got all kinds of medals and and things of that nature, right? Um, sacrificed themselves for the greater good of the team, right? And we gotta ask ourselves why that is. And the reason is, is because the man sitting right next to me, he would have done the same damn thing for me. He's fighting in the trenches just as hard as I'm fighting. He's taking on the same bullets, he's trying to shoot back. We trying to get out of this situation. He is in the trenches with me. He's not laid up uh uh 10 miles away with his feet kicked up, barking out orders. He's not doing that. That's why those guys in those war uh situations would do anything for each other. Because I know if the circumstances was turned around or if I was down or whatever the case may be, you would do the same thing for me. That's how men are wired. That's why men go so hard for women who do those type of things, who do take that little bit off his plate, who do iron that shirt because he came in just working 16. He's tired, he just hopped in the shower, went to sleep. He wanted to iron his clothes, but he didn't get around to it. So she just, hey, I'm gonna just go and get hit this shirt real quick. So when he wake up in the morning, he can just keep it pushing. Or he woke up, he ran a little late, she done got up and made coffee. It's little things like that to just let me know that you in the trenches with me fighting, not me going out here busting my ass and you sitting up here all day and I gotta come home and make even more decisions. People make, I I read somewhere on average, thousands of decisions per day. Thousands of them. So for me to have to be out making all the decisions and then I get home and have to make more decisions when you could have been and made those decisions because you've been sitting here all day or because whatever, like your your situation was uh was a little bit lighter that day, even if you're working or whatever the case may be, and for me to have to come home and make those decisions as well, eventually you start to ask yourself as a man, what's your purpose here? If I gotta make all the decisions, what are you doing here? And that's the point that you don't want a man to get to. Because when we get to that point, all of that chivalry, all of those things, all those sacrifices that that man been making for you, all of that's gonna come to a stop. And you're gonna see the side of him that you never wanted to meet in your life. But as long as you in them trenches fighting with me, and and we both trying to make each other's lives easier, we both trying to take things off each other's plate, we both, you know what I mean, depending on what percentage we showing up to the crib with, like we covering the other thing, we're gonna ride for you. But that's what it's about. It's about us covering each other, going back to the war analogy. We, you got my six, I got yours. I'm not leaving off this battlefield without you. It could be us two verse 20. We going out together in a blaze of glory. That's what men look for when we looking for our woman. We looking for somebody who will go out with us in a blaze of glory, who ain't gonna hightail it and run when things get hard or when the circumstances don't necessarily meet her comfortability level or whatever the case may be. We looking for a woman who's gonna roll up her sleeves and be like, baby, what you need me to do? How can we get back to where we was, or how can we get to what we're trying to get to? What do you need me to do? And I'm gonna do it. That's what we need. And that's the type of woman right there that you'll be married to for 40, 50 years.
SPEAKER_07I need you to get in these trenches with me.
SPEAKER_03Come on, man.
SPEAKER_07We gotta take a step back, babe. We gotta go from this $2,000 apartment to this 980. Come on. For a year. Can you do it?
SPEAKER_03And that's the thing. A woman that loves you, all right, baby. It is what it is. Period. It ain't no second thing. Oh, man, we're all right, baby. Because she's so in tune with what's going on, she understands the circumstances, and the goal at the end of the day is for us to be okay, not my comfortability level, despite what you're going through to provide it for me. That's the difference between women who love you and women who are liabilities. And that's why we as men we gotta choose better. Because a lot of us be choosing liabilities and expecting them to move like honorable women. They not that. They there for the ride, brother. They there for the good shit. They there for the money you can spend, they there for the car you driving, they there for the house that you're living in. I drive down, I be driving downtown in Houston all the time. I be seeing couples homeless together. That's what real love is, bro. So if that ain't what we own, I don't want you nowhere around me, brother. That's just real. You on the street, I'm on the street. We're gonna figure it out. Because that woman got faith and belief in that man that he's gonna elevate our situation eventually. And any part that I gotta play in helping that happen, I'm here to do it. That's what love is, bro. That's why I say most people ain't in love. They not, people don't have enough humility to be in love, bro. First sign of a downgrade. Man, I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. That's a fact. Come on, man. Downgrade.
SPEAKER_07We see it all the time. Yes. Take two steps back, so you take 20 steps forward. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_03That's why I say, even with like the dudes in the league or the NBA, whatever the case may be, look at most times who they marry. It ain't them them them baddies that's in the little fake family section. That ain't the ones that they marry. They going back and grabbing that chick in high school who believed in me what nobody else did. They going back and getting that chick in college who was always on my ass about doing better and things of that nature, but I ain't want to hear it because everybody was kissing my ass. That's who they going back to get to marry. It's not a coincidence. That's all I'm saying.
SPEAKER_07Nine chance to be a headache anyway, but that's another topic.
SPEAKER_03That's real, Rao.
SPEAKER_08That's another topic.
SPEAKER_07He's about to break.
SPEAKER_03We ain't gonna, I don't want to get into it today. Nigga was about to breach in there this evening, boy. What we got for QA, man? How we looking, man?
SPEAKER_07Man, we deep. We deep. We got a lot of stuff. We got a lot of stuff that we didn't get to cover last week, too. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03But, hold on, we did get, we gotta go priority, though. Okay, okay. You know, we got some Patreon. Patreon. Right then, you know, y'all must have listened to that to that last part, and y'all wrote in and sent some sent some questions. Yeah, it is, it is. You see him? Not the Patreon. Okay, hold on, right. I ain't even get to uh I ain't even get to add it to the uh what you're gonna call it, man. So we're just gonna have to thug it out. I'm gonna read it though. It's um it's for my girl Kay Fendi, man. Shout out to my dog, man. Girl, don't play it all. She says, okay, I've calmed down now. Knowing that you'll never get that fair conversation with a past friend, how do you deal with harboring the feelings of being played by someone you held close, i.e. them manipulating, spinning stories, defending your character, giving the other part of their quote unquote truth? If they shut down and go silent and don't give me the opportunity to be the bigger person. Because I'm not the bigger person. So basically she's saying, knowing that you'll never get that fair conversation with a past friend, how do you deal with harboring the feelings of being played by somebody that you held so close?
SPEAKER_07That's like one of them, that's like one of them slow deaths. You know what I mean? Like it's unfortunate, but it's like you gotta deal with it. Try to get over it as quick as you can, but uh also understand too, like everybody had their own timeline. Everybody had their own operating process on how they, you know, go through things and situations. So I mean, try to just for one, you gotta accept it. I think that's gonna be the first step. Accepting everything and just knowing that you're not gonna get that conversation, you know, deep down. And so from there, try not to let certain things trigger you. If you follow that person, you need to unfollow them. If they number your phone, they don't need to be in there, block them, whatever you need to do. I think any remnants of that person, you need to try to delete and just remove. Those are like some of the first steps to start that healing and that journey. Because otherwise, you know, it's easy to upset yourself. You going back and looking at their page or going back, you still see their phone number, or you know what I mean? Like all that stuff is gonna just bring back old memories and conversations and you know, all of that. So those would be my starting point. After that, you have to, you know, figure out how you're gonna deal with everything and process it. But those would be the few steps that I would say to at least start that process.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I would say just understanding the fact that they don't give a damn. Harboring feelings don't hurt nobody but you. Them people out there living their lives. And that's what I tell people all the time about people who hold grudges and you know got so much pent-up energy toward people that they had problems with before. And, you know, we was close, they did me dirty, they did da-da-da-da. Those people out there living their life, they done moved on to a whole new relationship, a whole new friendship, a whole new job, a whole new everything. They are living their life. They are not thinking about you or what they did to you. So the reality is you can sit there and harbor on it for as long as you want to. But the thing about harboring and the thing about sitting on things is that you don't progress when you do it. Even when you think you're progressing, you don't, because it only takes one trigger to get you right back to the mindset that you was in at the time of the violation. I think we got to get to the bottom of why the violation happened. And sometimes a conversation ain't necessary for that. Sometimes it's just watching the game tapes. Was this person always like that, really? And I just let shit slide, or I just excuse certain things because they was the homie, or because we was in a relationship, or because like have they always been like that? And what about me allowed myself to be handled in that way? I think once those two questions are answered, then you'll have a bit of peace in knowing that that shit ain't never gonna happen again. But if you don't do that due diligence and really get to the m- get to the bottom of why certain things happened, why certain things were said, then even if you don't get over it or you fake do get over it, you're gonna repeat the same situation in the next situation that you walk into, whether it be friendship, whether it be relationship. So I think those two things are the are the main factors. Number one, accepting the fact that they don't give a damn about your hurt feelings. They don't give a damn about how angry you are, they don't they don't give a damn about what you're gonna do when you see them, and they don't give a damn. Them people out there living their life. You need to do the exact same damn thing. And number two, unpacking how we got here. What did I miss? Shout out to Drake. What did I let slide? You know, what type of what are the characteristics of that person so I can avoid that shit going forward. I think if you do those two things, that's a hell of a start. Um, all right, we're gonna get on to the next one, man. It's Patreon as well. KJ, man, my dog said, if I may ask, Trill once said that the most important decision you'll make in life is who you choose to marry. And should be vetted with the same importance as you do your goals. So my question is say the two of you moved into a new city with no social connections on your own. Friends and family are in an entirely different state, hours away. How would you two go about finding your person? That's a hell of a question, man. So he's basically saying, let's say that we moved somewhere else and we didn't have a status, the clout, or none of that. Family is away, it's just us in a new city. How do you go about finding a person you're gonna spend the rest of your life with?
SPEAKER_07Well, first off, I'm not gonna try to find my person necessarily. I'm just gonna let it happen. I'm gonna let it come to be. I'm gonna let it be organic. Like I'm gonna do me, whether it's getting my butt back in the gym or like just doing everything that I love to do, I always feel like when you do what you love to do, like everything gonna naturally gravitate the way it's supposed to gravitate towards you. So, you know, if I do happen to go out and have a nice dinner somewhere or hanging out in the bar and then I I meet somebody just organically, then you know that's it's gonna be what it's gonna be. But I'm not gonna just be out there searching just because I'm single. I think the younger me, the younger me would have been out there trying to search and look and and things like that. But the older me, nah, I'm not I'm not doing that. I'm just gonna let it happen how it happened. And it could be at the grocery store, I could be in goddamn Lowe's or something, and you know what I mean? Like now, of course, if I single me, if I see somebody that's
SPEAKER_03attractive and you know I speak to him you know I'm gonna let it you know be what it is but like I'm not gonna necessarily just go out my way you know I mean I'm not gonna chase her down every aisle to try to talk to her like you know if I notice her you know and she look good okay cool I'm gonna keep on shopping alright all right now if she happened to be at the same checkout with me then you know I may say hey how you doing you know start the conversation there but nah I'm not going out of my way at the age I am now I'm not going out of my way to to look for no relationship I'm just gonna let it happen yeah I think I would um first off I would have to narrow down a type of woman that I want I think that's the first mistake people make um you want a certain type of woman but you don't put yourself in the areas where that type of woman is gonna be right so for me I'm not interested in a woman that's in the club every week I'm not interested in a woman who's showing you know all her body on social media every time you open up your every time you open up the app things of that nature I'm more interested in an intelligent uh well established business woman well spoken things of that nature you know that's my interest right so I gotta ask myself where would these type of women hang out right and that's not gonna be at at you know the happy hour at the at the spot you know at the hookah lounge that ain't gonna be where she probably gonna be at right she probably be at a you know expensive steakhouse bar or uh you know because on Facebook you know it's certain clubs and different things run club you know she probably gonna be at the gym she probably gonna be at places like that because she's a disciplined person right so that's where I would probably start putting myself in again going by what bro said I'm not looking for anything right and that type of woman that I'm describing she's gonna be within my flow of life anyway because I'm doing those things. I go to steakhouses a lot I got do you know so it's that type of thing. So when I do meet her it's not gonna be like oh I'm pulling a fish out of water. She does the same things as well right so I guess what I'm saying is we got to get down to the bottom of of who it is that we want what type of woman we want and like real specific not just oh I want an attractive woman light skinned five seven I'm talking about what are her interests? What does she like to do? What how disciplined is she? So now I know what places or what environments that I need to put myself in to run into that type of woman. I can't have the standards that I want and go to the club and think I'm gonna meet her at three o'clock in the morning when the lights come on it just doesn't work that way. But going by what bro said like you know I'll probably be in the Whole Foods I'll probably be in the, you understand, like the the whatever the Flies gym is the most expense, the most expensive membership gym, I'm gonna probably be there. I'm gonna probably be at the steakhouse I'm gonna probably be, you understand? Like that's where I'm gonna put myself at because those are the type of women that I'm actually looking for. And then once you run into her y'all got so much in common that the conversation is easy now. Because the thing about being highly accomplished and think about being intelligent and things of that nature when you meet attractive women who are not that is a rough conversation because now you got to dumb yourself down to where she feels comfortable talking to you. I don't I don't want a woman that I got to do that with. I want a woman that I could talk about philosophy with. I could talk about my worldviews I could talk about you know just deep just have deep conversations with actual substance that's what I'm looking for. Like I said I'm not gonna find that at Area 29 at 420 in the morning after Sunday fun day that's just not where you're gonna find that so that would be my advice what you got for me old question wise man all right man this young lady said we've been dating two years I met the whole family but not the baby mama you mean meet the whole family fucking T That was it's it was it we've been dating two years met the whole family but not the baby mama I think that that's a problem um but I also think that's common I think that a lot of times the relationship with the baby mama baby daddy a lot of times it don't be on grown mature at all grounding if we just gonna be honest here you know what I mean I think it would be nice if you met somebody we kicking they're doing our little you know one tour or whatever I'm around the kids which I'm assuming you are two years into the relationship for us to link up and have a conversation or at least get on the phone and have a conversation so you could be familiar with the person that's around your kid. But I think in a lot of situations the person be so frustrated that that person moved on to where it's a lot of tension and it's a lot of like you know unaddressed feelings and lack of closure and things of that nature that prevent that type of grown introduction from happening. So in my opinion I think that that's that's that that's gonna be a rough situation. I think that that introduction is going to have to be made eventually but I just hate that you're so deep into it and it hasn't happened yet because the deeper you into it the longer you into it the more your feelings is involved the more you know the less willing you are to walk away the more you invest in the situation and it's like it's a toxic situation clearly that's just my take.
SPEAKER_07What's your thoughts on my thoughts that may got nothing to do with the topic I just because I'm trying to put myself in the other in the you know other person's shoes which is why I always said if I dated somebody and they had a kid they could either be dead or you jail one of the two or just not their life right because I I don't know if I'm mature enough I really don't now I think it's it's possible but then I also think about like it's ego the way I'm thinking about it is like ego because especially if the kid is like fairly young I'm not saying like the kid grown not 18 I ain't talking about I'm talking five to fifteen you know what I'm saying up in that range and then because that kid that kid's gonna want to be in their parents' life like they're gonna want to be around them and they're gonna want to spend time with them and things like that.
SPEAKER_03So I don't know man You have to keep it straight to the kid because I'm just thinking what if that nigga what if he just you know that nigga work at I don't know work at the plant or something and then he just trying to you know y'all just having wars big pocket wars all the time Lady I need some shoes thousand dollars hey you know what I'm saying get your paper up don't ask me for nothing get your paper up ask your daddy ask your daddy oh you're gonna be real penny be real penny petty tendergrass no penny tendergraph I say that right tendergras tendergrass that might be the name of the petty tendergirs nah but I mean I I feel you and I used to think the same way I I I I did but I I think also though man sometimes you make the introduction and find our dude cool as hell right no for sure it just didn't work yeah you understand that y'all showing up the shit together y'all building a relationship I done seen situations to where baby mama been mad y'all got so cool the relationship in and y'all still cool facts facts that's my dog we hoofing this shit but it's like a lot of times the the situation don't start off that mature for that to even be an option yes it starts off with a just a automatic especially with men just competitive like who is this nigga around my kids you want some like who is this nigga ain't doing his job right it's that you know what I mean and it's like you know that's what makes the makes the situation so rough but you know in in her terms bro two years and you ain't never met her at all y'all ain't never spoke that's wild though yeah that's crazy bro so we gotta ask ourselves you know because now my mind starts going into the devious stuff of like he keeping you away from her for a reason you understand what I'm saying like that's my mindset because it's on him to make the introduction let's just keep it real it ain't on her to reach out to the baby mama it's on him to say hey look we're gonna go grab lunch I just want y'all to introduce each other you know to get to know each other chop it up a little bit you know whatever whatever I just want you to be comfortable with this woman and I'm having around your child. That's a fact and I want you to be comfortable with knowing that she's gonna be a part of our life this is my family. We're not together no more but this is my family. She's the mother of my child I need y'all to be on good terms for this thing to work. That's what a mature man would do. But the fact that he hasn't done that it speaks to one of two things. It speaks to either the baby mama is just super toxic or it speaks to the fact that he still feels or has feelings there and still probably messing with her and he don't want to bring you around because now this is going to be very awkward. It's gonna get in the way of my little situation that I got going on. Yeah because you ain't been around the fam two years two years is a long time. Yeah so not a tons of dutch in come on now so I mean you know I'm not saying you know leave the situation because that's you know a lot of times that's easier said than done. I'm saying had a conversation with him and ask him why he has not introduced you to the mother of his children. I think that that's a very important conversation to have if y'all gonna have a chance of moving forward. All right advice for a young fella getting married to an older woman that's God fearing where kitty at right shout out to my girl kitty so go back to it again advice for a young fella getting married to an older woman that's God fearing that's that's kind of a rough question to ask I mean uh answer because we don't know the age difference and we don't know what type of man he is more detail um but like I say my mind automatically goes to just the worst possible area he young and and outside in these streets he done ran into a woman who's older and in the church I'm thinking my idea older she's 50 something in the church how do I make this situation work is what he's asking or like what are our thoughts on it? Basically yeah I'm not sure that that's something that you should engage in if you're not at the maturity level that you need to be I think the thing about older women is older women bro they don't play when it comes to their routine when it comes to their peace when it comes to what it is that they believe in because they've lived a lot of life and they have worked hard to establish the environment that they've created for themselves. So if you're coming in there and you're not in line with that it's gonna be a problem you understand so it's like if you're not ready to be in your Bible or you ain't ready to be you know deeply in the church the same way she is you ain't ready to go to Bible study and you know youth uh uh meetings and different things like that choir rehearsals if you ain't ready for that type of thing that ain't something that you should engage in regardless of how cool it is to be around her how good y'all chemistry is and things of that nature because something as important as religion is enough to break relationships you understand because the the belief systems have to be the same it just is what it is now if you in your situation you know you you you in your Bible you you in your word as well you may not be as advanced as she is in it but you in yours as well then I think it's something worth pursuing because y'all belief system is the same so you know she gonna you know catch you up essentially and then you got a mature ass woman who like I said can take care of herself she's established you know a peaceful environment around her she probably got grown kids so you ain't gotta worry about that it's gonna be a you know it's gonna be a smooth situation um also you gotta ask yourself do you want kids? Because a lot of older women is like nah that's over especially with grown kids that's over I'm not doing that again. So I think these are conversations that y'all need to have you understand what I'm saying and and really get to the bottom of like what y'all gonna do.
SPEAKER_07And just piggybacking off what you're saying I think when I hear you wrote God fearing so it seems like she's serious and it seems like based off what you're saying it's you know it's a it's a lifestyle for her so again like just like you were just saying if it's not something that you are willing to commit to that may not be it. You know what I mean? Like I understand you may want to but now but I I will say this though at the same token like if it's something that you have an interest in and you just haven't you know what I mean like maybe you've heard about it or you just you know you just that just wasn't how you were brought up but you have interest in this woman then if you really like her yeah you're gonna take some interest into what she likes. So so yeah go ahead and and proceed with that but if that's not something that you're willing to commit to that's just that it's just gonna be hard to work out man because she's gonna want to be there every Sunday. Right. Women that are God fearing women they're gonna want to be there every Sunday faithfully 11 o'clock service 10 o'clock whatever it is preachers uh what's the the pastor's annual three you got three o'clock service and sometimes they have night service she want all three of them so if you ain't willing to be committed to that then you know that just may not be for you brother and then I know two denominations to be different too so yeah yeah I mean um also too man I think uh sometimes just being introduced to something new can change your outlook on things absolutely you know what I mean but I will say this don't dive in there for her make sure you're doing it for you because if you dive in there for her all you're doing is putting a mask on for real and eventually it's gonna get hot under that mask and it's gonna come off and now you invest it.
SPEAKER_03You can got her invested and you done wasted that woman time when she's clearly locked in to what's going on you know what her path is and what she's trying to get accomplished you don't want to get in the way of that you know I mean and that's go back to what we was talking about a few pods ago about the maturity of a man to say you know what I know you like me I like you but we on totally two totally different paths right now and I don't want to interrupt what you got going. I don't want to come in here and shake things up or make you choose or make you be less committed to what you're committed to simply to make room for me. I don't want that. I want you to go find somebody that's in line with where you're going and that's gonna make you happy because you're a good woman you're solid I don't want to come in here and ruin that. And that's what maturity as a man is you understand what I'm saying? So if that's a decision that you gotta make then make the decision. It's gonna be hard as hell you understand but going back to what bro said if you're interested in it if you're open to it you understand and and you know you gonna do it for you and I say see where it goes seamless want to be seamless almost right um all right last one how do you navigate a partner that aligns except she isn't as flirty as and expressive how do you navigate a partner that aligns except she isn't as flirty and expressive I think that man that's tough man I think you gotta ask yourself how important those things are to you um and it sounds like it is it sounds like it's very important and I think that's where most men go wrong when we choosing our woman because we choose our woman based on what's safe on paper instead of what we actually want thinking that hopefully she'll turn into that one day hopefully she'll be a little bit more you know freaky or expressive or whatever the case may be you understand like it's only so much teaching that you can do some people just don't have the urge to be that way you understand or they just not wired that way. Sex drive is just not that high you understand that's that's just how certain people are wired then you got certain people who y'all y'all going at it six seven eight times a week is just you know because they match your drive they they own that type of time you know what I mean so I don't feel like that's something that should be swept under the rug and we just keep it pushing because we align because eventually it's gonna become a problem. And if this person is showing you who they are right now believe this version of them and move accordingly you understand there's so many people who will see something that they really don't like but it's like it's a lot of other things that are right so I'm gonna just get into this and hope that it gets better. It's like no this thing is weighted heavily to you and only you know that I'm not talking about what's weighted heavily I'm not to everybody else I'm not talking about what should be weighted heavily I'm talking about what you weigh heavily if that's what you weigh heavily I suggest you find somebody that's a bit more expressive and a bit more you know whatever you need her to be sexually and things of that nature because all you're gonna do is end up cheating on this safe woman. And that's what a lot of men do they get that that that woman that's safe on paper and get in a relationship with her and she's boring to him and he gets bored you know he try to you know try to spice it he try to do little things but she just not as receptive and then he says you know what man you got another chick outside of here she on go the drop of a dime anywhere ready to do whatever and then you done broke this good woman heart because you simply wasn't compatible with her but that's the one you can't bring her to the move you can't bring her to meet the family can't bring her to meetings like no corporate events like you can't so which one you want to deal with you gotta find that that you gotta find that balance but do you do you even consider that alignment if those two are not there because I'm thinking that y'all not you know y'all do have some things in common it seems like but those two are it seems like they are things that weigh heavy so I think if I'm looking at it from my perspective alignment is going to be like the the bulk of it.
SPEAKER_07Like the other stuff can be the extras but if that the if you like a woman that's flirtatious and you won't like a woman that's that's expressive if that's carrying the most weight to me I think that's the part of the alignment because that's it seems like that's something that you need to have from your partner. Right. And if she not delivering that then yeah she don't stand a chance because you can't bring that can you bring that out of someone I guess that's the question. Like you know how some people say there are just certain things that you know maybe one person was able to do but they dated somebody else and they they brought it out of them. So I mean is that something that you can bring out of a person?
SPEAKER_03I think it's certain aspects that can be brought to the forefront but I think those things was already within that person to begin with. Um you know it's just like in just like being a coach of a basketball team right like I can coach a player all day long to dunk but certain I don't give a damn how much I coach certain people they're not gonna dunk like Michael Jordan. It's just not the case. Some people it don't matter how much I coach him he's never gonna be able to dunk it's just not in him. That's not in his skill set maybe a great shooter maybe a great passer maybe a great defender he can't jump you know I mean it's the same with speed you can run track all you want brother I can teach your form I can teach lift your knees when you certain people just born Tyree kill gonna go out on that track with little to no practice and smoke whoever it is that I'm coaching. He's just born with that certain people just born with urges and you know different different different things that come with them. I think sexuality is one of those things I think you can get somebody to try harder you can get somebody to you know tolerate your drive But I think a sex drive is just something that's just natural within somebody. Because you can you have somebody who may have sex, let's say, twice a week, and they are fully content with that. Like they are good with that. But you have some people who have sex twice a week and they like, bruh, I'm hurting over here. Right. I need it five or six times. Like, and it ain't nothing that, you know, the person who having it too and they are content. That's them personally. Like you can have somebody who comes in there who's more handsome or with more money or whatever the case may be, but that's their threshold. That's where they feel like, okay, this is a this is a good spot. Now, can they have it five times a week? Sure. But they're not looked, like it's not of that much importance for them to just, you know, what I need it five times a week. That's a urge. That's a that's something like within you. And that's why I say it should be more important when we're talking about compatibility, but it's not because it's frowned upon by society to have somebody who has a high-ass sex drive. Like that's frowned upon, especially from men. You get to talking about women who maybe may been a bit promiscuous, whatever the case may be. They automatically getting written off simply for that. Like she could be cool as hell. Y'all can have a lot in common, whatever the case may be. But nah, I don't want nobody that's just, you know, nah, nah, nah. But it's like that may be the perfect person for you. But on paper, and how it's gonna be presented to everybody else, you like, nah, I'm gonna go with this safe chick. You know, she don't match my drive sexually, whatever the case may be, and I'm gonna just pray that she can get there. Because the reality is, bro, like, you're not gonna be able to get everything you want from somebody. That's that's the reality. So that's why I say what weighs heavily to you. Because something is gonna have to get sacrificed. It is what it is. But you want to make sure that the thing that weighs the least to you is the stuff that gets sacrificed.
SPEAKER_07You don't want nobody that's great in bed, but it's a terrible communicator.
SPEAKER_03Come on, man. Violent. Uh you know what I mean? Smart ass mouth, don't take no accountability. You know what I mean? So you gotta pick and choose what's important, but only you know how important that should be. We can't answer that, gang. Like it's because we got different things that's important to us. You know what I mean? And whatever, whatever. So it's just, you know, you gotta have an honest look in that mirror, bro. And is this really that important for me to sacrifice somebody that's meeting 80% of what I'm what I what I need? Cause I feel like expression can be worked on. Cause I think that's just a comfortable thing. You got some people quiet as hell when they in a room full of people, but you get a one-on-one and they'll talk your fucking hair off all you know what I mean? So it's just that can be, but you know, sexual drive and compatibility, I think sometimes we just ain't compatible. Like you you can try. Well, I can try. Because it's men who can't meet certain women's sex trials. Let's put it on the table. You got one wanna have sex eight, nine times a week. Especially when niggas get older, we like, eh.
SPEAKER_07She won't sever rounds till you go.
SPEAKER_03So it's 24. It's real round. You be you be thinking it's a dream situation until y'all on uh round six. You're like, damn, hold on. You still going. Compatibility, but it's a there's another dude out there who go right with him. Let's go. I'm up, let's do it. So it just depends, bro.
SPEAKER_07I think what damn, what was that movie, bro? What was that movie with the Wayans? Oh well, don't be a menace? Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I told you I get a little crazy. Come on, my car.
SPEAKER_07Let's get it off. Ride you till the wheels fall off, literally. Have your ass searching for everything.
SPEAKER_03That's how it be, so yeah. Weigh that appropriately. Damn what society says. That's my take.
SPEAKER_07He says flirt. I'm thinking like, but is he, I'm wondering if he's thinking more just like affection. I'm wondering. Well, I mean he maybe he might have would have used affection. He's talking about banner.
SPEAKER_03He said flirty, so yeah, I mean just like you, talk about acknowledgement that's or it's it's it's the banner aspect of things. Like you and me both. We like women who can talk shit, who can match wits, who can you know what I mean? It's that back and forth, it's that slick talk, it's that everybody can't do that.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_03You know what I mean? But when you find a woman who can do it, that's a turn on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like he probably wished that she would be more like that, but she just that ain't energy. Like she ain't got that gift of gas, you ain't you know?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_07And with women, that's good luck, brother.
SPEAKER_05Good luck.
SPEAKER_03Uh, but yeah, on that note, man, we're gonna go and get out of here. That's been another episode of Trill Academy, man, episode 13, man. We appreciate y'all tapping in. Salute to the Patreon first and foremost, man. Salute to everybody else that listened to us on the DSPs, on the, you know, uh uh, wherever y'all, iHeart, Apple, Spotify, uh, uh, the clips, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, wherever y'all watching it at, man. We appreciate everybody that's tuning in, and this thing is only growing, this thing is only getting bigger, and y'all are the reason why. Oh, you got any words before we get up out of here, brother? Oh man, just keep your boy in your prayers.
SPEAKER_07Baby girl on the way. Healthy baby. Praying for a healthy baby. Baby is healthy right now, as of you know, right now I went to the doctor this morning for a follow-up. So everything is looking good, everything checking out. We right on track. Um that's what I got. My uh, my dog looking for a talent agency. I seen, you know what I'm saying? You looking for a Yeah, man. Trying to get up out there.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, man, it's time to it's time to get some placements and and things of that nature, man. But like I said, uh I got a couple offers, but it's like I want to know who the best. I don't want to just sign with somebody just because you know, because that type of thing is important, you know. You know, not somebody too deep of a roster, now you just buried on the roster of nah, I need somebody who's good, somebody who's a tenor, somebody who can maintain a dope level of communication that can actually get you placements, who actually got motion, pool, things of that nature. So I'm just trying to see who is who was who was the best out there, man. Yeah, yeah. Get some of these placements. Okay, okay. But uh, but yeah, you know, things is you know, things is things is moving. So we just trying to make sure that we're moving with it. Okay. Motion begins motion, brother. Okay. Uh, but yeah, so like I say, on that note, man, we're gonna get up out of here. It's a it's a record I was listening to called All Alone by Chino. Since we've been putting people on a lot of music lately. Okay.
SPEAKER_07Chino.
SPEAKER_03Okay, Chino. Shout out to Chino, man. This is a record. Uh dope artist. I I think he's a new artist, I think, man. But we're gonna tap into the record, man. We appreciate y'all once again, and until next time, we are gone.