How to Find a Church That Fits Both of You

In this episode of Cultivated, Jeremiah and Savannah open up about one of the most overlooked foundations of a healthy marriage which is finding a church home together. They share their raw, honest journey through years of church hopping after getting married in 2020, the spiritual drift that came with not being truly plugged in, and how they eventually landed at a church where they genuinely belong. Along the way, they break down the practical checklist they now use when evaluating a church: biblical soundness, the character of the pastor, the culture of the congregation, a strong children's ministry, and proximity to your community. Whether you're newlyweds, church shopping, or simply not plugged in anywhere, this episode is a candid, faith-filled conversation that meets you right where you are.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

What's going on everybody? Thank you so much for tuning in to the episode today here on Cultivated. This is your host, Jeremiah Jennings, and I am super excited to come to you today with another fresh new episode for you. Welcome into another week here, and uh I'm excited to come with my beautiful co-host Savannah. How are you? Good. Excited to be here? Always. Always, always, always. Um, I'm trying to, well, if you're watching this on YouTube, trying to get the mic set up here. The last episode, my whole face was entirely covered for the most part, which most people probably liked, but um trying to get this thing dialed in. We're probably gonna end up moving studios here in a little bit and getting it. We haven't built this one out yet. You've seen we just live like a gray wall behind us because this is probably not gonna be our permanent studio. Uh, we're probably gonna move somewhere else. So we're gonna see what happens with that. But uh man, what a week. What a week, what a week. I know we say that a lot, but uh I think we start on every show saying that. Yeah, probably. But uh we did man, traveled this week. Yeah, um two weeks into Senior Hard, by the way. So we'll we will go ahead and get that out of the way. You can skip through that. That'll be our that will be our uh kind of weekly flow here. If you don't like Senior Hard and don't care about it, you can skip it in the beginning. So uh we are let's see, how far is that camera crooked? I think that camera's crooked. If you're watching this real time, so I'm gonna have to carry the show here so I can fix this camera.

SPEAKER_00 1:26

So crazy. I can carry it. Uh I'm about to just watch you fix this and throw stuff around, I guess. How did you I thought you had all that set up. Did it change between when you did it and when we started recording?

SPEAKER_03 1:45

I don't think it was good when I started.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

When we started the show.

SPEAKER_03 1:50

But now it's dialed. So anyway, um we had yes, in it too, end of two weeks. We ended that today, and so we're day four fifteen. This is day fifteen, I think, right? Yeah, we just finished Real time. Real time, we just finished day 15, going into 16. So uh super excited for that. It's been it wasn't a super fun week with it.

SPEAKER_00 2:12

Uh we have not gotten into a good like habit yet, and so it's not a part of our I'm kind of selling him that I don't know that's some validity to this habit because we're the the way it looks is every day is different, right? So like it's not like every single day, uh like there's no like rhythm or pattern to it. It's just like how can we fit this in our day today? And while after 21 days that will feel easier, like it won't, it'll be the norm to do that, it won't logistically get any easier because like days still ebb and flow, routines, you know, are only so structured, so it's like we will have been doing it for the time it takes to create a habit, but nothing about this is the same every day other than what you physically accomplish.

SPEAKER_03 3:03

Yeah, the the the schedules, we're not able to get a schedule dialed in really just the there's so many variables on a day right now.

SPEAKER_00 3:10

I mean, there's half of it that we can, right? Like the the workout in the or early morning, like we have like pretty consistently been able to do that, but like the outdoor portion of it is just like hit or miss because it just depends.

SPEAKER_03 3:22

We have young kids, they can't like Tay can't stand the stroller every single day for 45 minutes, so we're having to balance that a little bit, like try to get it in some days with kids, some days without kids, and so that adds a challenge to it. But it's good, it's going good. Uh, we are making progress. I feel good. You feel good. Uh this is your second, this will be your second progress pick, correct?

SPEAKER_00 3:44

Technically, yes. Well, I mean progress, yes. Like you take an initial pick starting, second.

SPEAKER_03 3:48

Yeah, so your third picture picture, yeah. Uh, but second weekend. So we did we that is one thing we changed. We're not doing daily progress pictures, we're doing weekends.

SPEAKER_00 3:56

I just don't see the benefit of a daily photo.

SPEAKER_03 3:58

I mean, it would be cool to put them like all together and just like go through them real quick. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

Yeah, I don't have that in me. We we take a weekly one. And this I mean, I take it in the same spot, but uh so yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:13

Yeah, it is cool. Like, uh, I mean, there's already a different scene. So excited the disciplines are there. You know, it just again, like last week, it just shows you how much time you have in a day. Uh that's not a lot. Yeah, we don't have any extra time for sure now. No, but uh before this, you got a lot of extra time, whether you realize or not. Yeah. And uh so that's that's kind of where we're at with it. But uh moving on, we I went to Cape Coral this week to Florida, it's like south of Fort Myers, and uh it was a great week down there for a LeanScaper conference. LeanScaper is a business development software, is essentially the best way I can put it for you guys that don't know anything about what what kind of what we're doing there. Uh, it is an AI platform that is going to change our industry and it and it will change the trade industry as a whole in the next five to ten years. Uh AI is here, it's not just coming, it's here. And so we're just uh really trying to embody that and take that and and run with it in our business. But uh the the founder of Lean Scaper founded our software that we use and is just a true mentor and a friend. And so excited to go. We love going to those. We get to podcast at those, so we do four a year, and uh they travel. I think Savannah's gonna come with me to the next one. She doesn't know it yet, but uh I don't even know where it is.

SPEAKER_00 5:27

Uh Chicago.

SPEAKER_03 5:28

Chicago. When is it? Uh June. So interesting. Yeah, we're gonna I think we're gonna figure out a way to make let you come to that one. So I am uh I'm excited. They're they're fun, they really are great conferences. They're busy, they're packed. It's two full days, like eight to five, both days. We podcast in that time as well. So like during when people are on lunch breaks and stuff, like we're usually uh me and a couple other buddies are doing some podcasting, so we don't just get like a bunch of free time uh by any stretch, but it's good going to dinner, hanging out, and things like that. Uh just talking to talking with people who are like-minded, you know, trying to grow businesses and grow their lives. But today's topic, what I want to dive into, anything, anything pressing, anything like uh anything you know out there that's like worth worthy of a topic?

SPEAKER_00 6:13

I don't think so. Nothing crazy.

SPEAKER_03 6:15

Discussion worthy. Okay, so what I want to talk about today is it is gonna be and again, guys. Look, when we talked about this show when we launched it, it's gonna be heavy. We're gonna talk about our faith along the way. It's gonna be part of it. It's not gonna be all just Christian talk every single week. We're gonna talk about it, right? Because this is the foundations, the beginning stages of like us building our family. We have a three-year-old real time and a one-year-old real time.

SPEAKER_00 6:38

If you're listening, wait, no, we don't. We have an 11-month-old.

SPEAKER_03 6:42

Okay. We have a three-month-old real time and an 11 and a half month-old.

SPEAKER_00 6:47

Well, he's not one.

SPEAKER_03 6:49

And we are figuring it out. Like we're figuring out parenthood, right? And so uh we're figuring out what it's like to parent, what it's like to um be married and parent, grow a marriage, sustain a marriage, uh, do all those things. And so what I want to talk about though is a key foundation in our marriage that really like truly we lacked for a while. And it was tough. It created a lot of hard, not heartache, it created just a lot of hard times, uh, unknowingly, I think. And that is finding a church family and how to do that, how we did it, kind of like some key things you should look for. Um, just a just a full conversation around this topic. So yeah. Take it away. Take it away, take it away, it's all on you. I'll uh talk to them about well, let's you you intro us into like our story. Let's walk back through our story a little bit and like share our story of church hopping a little bit uh before we land at like where we're at now and just kind of that journey. Yeah, and we can go all the way back to like our childhoods too.

SPEAKER_00 7:55

Yeah, well, we don't need to go super far back.

SPEAKER_03 7:57

Give a little bit of foundation though, because it plays into the story. I'll get the foundation, then you can go because I want I I want you to know where I'm trying to go with this.

SPEAKER_00 8:04

I think I know. Savannah and I were raised very differently, right?

SPEAKER_03 8:08

So I was raised in a more traditional church, smaller, uh, like hymnal music, right? Piano, maybe a guitar here and there, that's it. Savannah raised in a more contemporary church, larger, um just at the end of the day, just more contemporary. That's the best word for it. Uh, a little more casual, a little more relaxed settings. And so uh always in theologically sound churches, um, biblically sound, like preaching the truth, but just different styles of churches. Yeah. So when we started dating, that was definitely a thing, right? Like 100% it was a thing that we had to deal with and work through and manage, and it wasn't easy. Uh, it was not easy, but we have it, and that's where you can come in and take it away. That's the backstory that you need.

SPEAKER_00 8:56

Well, we had also gotten to a point where we were on pretty when we started dating, we were pretty polar opposite ends. Like at that time, I was going to church that was like very mod, like, I mean, very no.

SPEAKER_03 9:14

Oh 180. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot about that.

SPEAKER_00 9:16

Um, which I'm not I don't have to. No, that was such a short time in the world. I've negative I have nothing negative to say about any of the churches that we were gonna talk about if you you know are relatively local. But um, yes.

SPEAKER_03 9:29

100% the opposite of what I was going to, though. Yeah, like it that's what I mean. It would be hard to be more polar opposite.

SPEAKER_00 9:35

Yeah. Um, and then and just like just for some more reference, I mean the the church that you were in or have been raised in, again, like just very traditional. Like, I don't know if you hymn like songs out of the hymnals, yeah. We already talked about that. Um like most women wear dresses majority of the time, which I I'm there I'm there is nothing wrong with anything that we're saying. We're just talking about these are just strictly preferences, which don't change people's salvation. So like I'm I'm not saying that anyone or anything is right or wrong in this scenario. Just difference of opinion. Um so that's kind of where we were at. And it was hard um because another thing about you that I don't think we've really talked about up until kind of this point, you for a long time were pretty pretty set that your way was the way. Like what you no, I'm not saying church, I'm saying like in general. You you liked like your decision. I mean, most people do, like they make a decision, they think it's the right one.

SPEAKER_03 10:47

I was very confident what I was doing at that point, yeah. Yes, and you're doing it.

SPEAKER_00 10:51

Set in it.

SPEAKER_03 10:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:53

Um, so I kind of understood from pretty early on that like there was no getting you to come with me. I was if we want to go to church together, I was gonna go with you. Would you agree or disagree?

SPEAKER_03 11:03

Correct, yeah. In that setting, 100%.

SPEAKER_00 11:05

Yeah. Um, and so dating, we went to church together. I mean, almost the whole time we were dating. Um I went to church with you.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

Um and Which would have been from 2017 to 2020, essentially.

SPEAKER_00 11:21

When we got married, yeah. Yeah. Um, so you know, three ish years, three, four years. Um yeah, three.

SPEAKER_03 11:29

Did we ever did we was Highlands after we got married?

SPEAKER_00 11:32

Yes. Okay. Yes. Um, and it was fine. Like I I have nothing negative to say. Like um the great people. People were so kind to me, like welcomes me into the church. Like we make, you know, I it was my childhood church. Yeah, like he his childhood friends who the church, like they were all very welcoming to me, very kind. Like we had great, that was a fun time in life. Like we had we gotta spend a lot of time with them. Um but as we got closer to getting married, I just was like kind of longing for something that felt more familiar to me. Um, and not that there was any again, not anything wrong, but I was just like, this just was not how I was raised. Um and I just was like we need to.

SPEAKER_03 12:18

Look, that the the the simple way to put it is like that setting was home for me.

SPEAKER_00 12:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:24

That setting was the opposite of home for you. The same way that if I would have gone to church with you when we first started dating, that was the opposite of home for me. And it was home for me, yeah. Exactly. So it was like we had to find some somewhere in the middle.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

I I do think that there is an aspect of me that always felt a little bit fish out of water. I it is that's not home. It was okay to say that, yeah. Yeah, it's not anything to do with the people or the content of the church, like what was being preached. It was just like the the environment, which comes down to preference, which is what we talked about. So, you know, we started having some really hard conversations of like I think that we need to find somewhere that fits us both.

SPEAKER_03 13:04

We also were moving 30 minutes away. That was also part of the city.

SPEAKER_00 13:08

Yes, which keep those keep in mind that the whole time I lived in this city. I was I was driving.

SPEAKER_03 13:14

But my life was in where we were going to church. Yeah. My business was there, like everything we did, everything I did was there.

SPEAKER_00 13:21

The house that you lived in was five minutes from the church when we when you were living at home. So, you know, I start kind of like asking you, like, can we find somewhere that's gonna be more towards both of us? Like it's a it's our church, like not our because again, like to a degree. It was my church and you were just there. Yeah, I was with him there. Um, and so wanted to find somewhere for both of us, and we we were searching for some like community too, and we because we had friends there.

SPEAKER_03 13:53

We were also in a lot of different, we were in different stages of life.

SPEAKER_00 13:56

Nobody else was getting married at that time.

SPEAKER_03 13:58

Um there was one couple, but they were yes, they're where were they living? They were living.

SPEAKER_00 14:04

They were there, she just wasn't here yet.

SPEAKER_03 14:05

Yeah, that's right. She didn't move till they got married, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:07

Yeah, so we just were like, we want to find like people that are in this season with us. Um, and so honestly, we decided like we we left. Like, I don't even know how you say that.

SPEAKER_03 14:21

We didn't like Yeah, we started looking.

SPEAKER_00 14:22

Uh we started looking for other churches, and we did not have any type of game plan. We were like, well, we'll just try this and we'll try here.

SPEAKER_03 14:29

Which was after we got married, and we'll come back. Like so here's what I want to do, guys. Stay like just stick with it. We're gonna keep walking through the story and then we're gonna come back and break it down. Because if I start breaking it down now, we'll never get through it.

SPEAKER_01 14:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:42

So continue through the story, but you're gonna we're gonna come back and you're gonna be like, you're gonna hear more of like do's and don'ts, goods and bads about this.

SPEAKER_00 14:49

Um, so honestly, I don't think we had any rhyme or reason for the first few months. Like we just went to a place a couple times, and then we were like, yeah, this is it or yes, isn't it? Like we turned several places around.

SPEAKER_03 15:03

Um and I'll talk about where we went. I mean, we went to when we first got married, we went to Grace for the most of it.

SPEAKER_00 15:10

Yeah, that was easy. That was easy for her parents were to church. Close to us. We really didn't have a reason to not, like it was just like, well, it we know somebody.

SPEAKER_03 15:22

We were married in May of 2020. I messed my hand up in May of 2021. We were there, and we had been there that entire time, and we were still there when that happened.

SPEAKER_00 15:29

Okay. So you see, I forget this stuff.

SPEAKER_03 15:32

Yeah, we were there for at least a year, year and a half.

SPEAKER_00 15:35

A year?

SPEAKER_03 15:38

We may have been on the way out when that happened. I think we were on the way out when that happened.

SPEAKER_00 15:42

I don't remember being a year. That's crazy. Um but but I feel like that just goes to say that we never got plugged in, like at all. For for us who've been there almost a year. The timeline is so far, so long. It's so blurry to me.

SPEAKER_03 15:56

I think maybe we went to I think we went to Highlands. Long story short, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:00

We floated like this for almost two years, yeah. Um and struggled really to find somewhere for that long. Um, the longest stint of us going somewhere was probably Church of the Highlands, which if you uh uh Grace was longer.

SPEAKER_03 16:16

But yes, can really yeah, Grace was longer for sure.

SPEAKER_00 16:19

It doesn't matter, we're not gonna sit here and hash this out.

SPEAKER_03 16:22

Um but we I remember I remember the time the timeline was we started going to Highlands when we started dating. When we not when we started, when we were dating. We were going to Highlands when we were dating. We went there when we got married, then we went to Grace. That's what it was. Grace was after that.

SPEAKER_00 16:39

Um I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_03 16:39

We should have aligned our stories up before we started to do that.

SPEAKER_00 16:41

We should have, because I I need to argue that, but I'm not gonna do it on the air because that it doesn't it really doesn't matter. It it doesn't. We started going more towards churches that I grew up with.

SPEAKER_02 16:56

Correct, yes.

SPEAKER_00 16:56

Um just because you know, honestly, they're easier to find, honestly. I mean I mean, yeah. Um, and that's I was missing that.

SPEAKER_03 17:06

And I was we had friends going to a couple of those.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

Yeah. So we went to church with friends. Our our our thing with Highlands.

SPEAKER_03 17:13

Um We also got married in the middle of COVID, by the way. Church was out our first six months.

SPEAKER_00 17:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:18

Probably nah, probably three months. Churches weren't really back in yet. Yeah, yeah. Um, so that was part of it.

SPEAKER_00 17:24

Yeah, but um, I think an a thing that we felt about Grace was there wasn't a ton of people. Same thing, stage of life stage of life that we were, and we were like, again, it's not the content, uh, we just we need friends, like we need people that are doing this too. So I think we went to Highlands.

SPEAKER_02 17:46

Maybe, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:46

Doesn't matter. That wasn't not there, but it was like so there that it was hard to find a place.

unknown 17:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:54

So we went for a while with some family friends of ours that were also going, but we never joined a small group, and I think that's like your king. Yeah, you're right.

SPEAKER_03 18:04

Maybe that was maybe it was Grace Nunner.

SPEAKER_00 18:07

I think it was because we were going to that was the gap before Ivan Jack.

SPEAKER_03 18:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:10

Because we went to it was we went to Disney. Like we were still, we went to the women's conference that week. Anyways. Um Yeah, that's right. And so we liked, we enjoyed it. Um, we looking back, like I that was never gonna be long term for us.

SPEAKER_03 18:26

Um I think deep down we knew that too.

SPEAKER_00 18:28

I think deep down I the whole time I was just like, oh my gosh, I'm getting him to go to the church with me. That's nothing like where he went. Like, I'm like, I'm gonna ride this as long as I can. Yeah, because I was like, Yeah, I I did love it. Um I missed some like meat and I missed like community, um, but we didn't know where to go. So um, anyways, then we I don't even remember how we started. We realized I think you finally said this isn't gonna work anymore. Like we can't keep doing this.

SPEAKER_03 19:00

Yeah. Well, we got into Yeah, I don't know. I don't remember how we got invited to Gardeners.

SPEAKER_00 19:09

That was April of 22. I'll never forget it because I was exactly 20 weeks pregnant. I don't remember how I don't I don't remember how we got there though, but well, we'd been going to church for a little while.

SPEAKER_03 19:20

So church the church church where Savannah grew up, right? And so the easy thing is like, why don't you go back there? They left when Savannah was a kid.

SPEAKER_00 19:27

The church that I grew up in is the biggest church in our city. Correct.

SPEAKER_03 19:32

Yes or no, and it's also not the same church that it was when you grew up either.

SPEAKER_00 19:36

Correct. Like I um I don't think I have I don't think I have any problem saying this. I didn't have like the best experience there as a child. Um, and that's okay to say part of the reason that we left the church at that time. Um and so it was very hard for me to like think about going back because a lot of the same people were there and I was anxious about what that was gonna feel like. Also, I've talked about this before, I was homeschooled, and so it was like I kind of made myself like I was the weird homeschooled kid. Um, and so it was very I I don't know how I felt. I was like, I don't know that we should go back because I don't know what that's gonna feel like for me every week to like be surrounded by people that I like halfway know that may or may not remember me, but they're all still there. And so I was like, I don't even know if we're gonna have a place because if it's all the same people, then it's just gonna be deja, you know, and so we were pretty hesitant, or I was. It was also extremely close to where we were living though. So 45 seconds. I don't was it Abby and Austin? Like, did we just go with it?

SPEAKER_03 20:59

That's exactly what it was.

SPEAKER_00 21:00

Yeah, I guess we just my because her parents best friends went there um in college at that time. Um they went there with her in-laws, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:11

That's what it was. They moved back from Tuscaloosa.

SPEAKER_00 21:14

Okay, and they were going there and we're like, well, we'll go there. We'll we'll just go sit in service.

SPEAKER_03 21:18

Yeah. Um and then they knew Gardners. That's what it was.

SPEAKER_00 21:22

Well, I've always I've known Jeff, but like I didn't Yeah, but you were not there, uh he didn't invite you there. You know who invited us? Zane and Kayla.

SPEAKER_03 21:30

Oh, yeah, because we went to dinner with them that night.

SPEAKER_00 21:33

Yes, I think we were like trying to, and I don't even I like I wish so badly that I like remember these details, but I don't. And um we That is true, I forgot about that. Saw some people that like I had grown up with that they ended up getting married, and I think they told us about this small group that met on Thursday nights at somebody's house who I remember who's like he worked for the youth leader, yeah. Yes. Um no.

SPEAKER_03 22:01

He was. Yes, he was. He was Austin he was Austin's youth leader. Not when you were there.

SPEAKER_00 22:06

Okay, we're gonna we're gonna have like these details don't matter. Um I I I'm just saying we're not gonna sit here and argue about who was what.

SPEAKER_03 22:16

Continue.

SPEAKER_00 22:18

We go for the first time.

SPEAKER_03 22:21

That silence. That is line that silence just cut through people right there.

SPEAKER_00 22:25

Do you want to take it away?

SPEAKER_03 22:27

No, I'm listening to you. Go.

SPEAKER_00 22:28

We go to the small group, and it was awkward. It was so awkward. Not because anybody was ugly to us, but I was like, this.

SPEAKER_03 22:36

You knew there were people there that you knew. Like that I knew of.

SPEAKER_00 22:39

Like that that's the thing about this town.

SPEAKER_03 22:40

We weren't like close enough.

SPEAKER_00 22:42

I was never close enough to anybody, but like I knew people's names. You said that.

SPEAKER_03 22:46

You said it because you were home, like you were the homeschooler, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:50

And it was always this like, well, I kind of know who they are, but like do they know who I am?

SPEAKER_02 22:54

Because I Yeah, that's always weird.

SPEAKER_00 22:56

Everybody knows everybody here, but if you don't go to school, yeah, it's like, do they know you? So, anyways, it was just weird. But I remember being like, we have to stick with it. Like, we have to stick with it because I halfway knew enough people to where I felt okay going back. I was also very pregnant, I mentioned that 20 weeks, and we were pretty adamant, like we're gonna find some people before we have this baby. Um, we stuck with the Thursday nights. We did not have like a Sunday school class at that point. We would still just like go to the service on Sundays and leave. Um, but we were gonna be able to do that. Yeah, I know. I'm working on it. So they I was 37 weeks pregnant, they started a Sunday school class, so we go and we're excited. I'm like, okay, this is gonna be so good. Like it's people that I knew, and like at that point, we had like gained some you know friends. It had been from April to August, so like we'd gone through the summer, and this would be good. And it was some people that I knew, and another couple that I we had no idea who they were, and we're like, well, we'll try it out, like they're gonna whatever. So we go for three weeks. I have Jack, and we dropped off the face of the earth. We didn't go back for 17 months, we dropped off the face of the earth, and that's on postpartum anxiety, but we don't have to go on on that route. But um, I remember like so it was that August that we went, stopped going. We went to the church this whole time, and then in January of 24, we had a women's conference at church, and my friend Abby and I went not with a group, we had like very inconsistently sprinkled in some up until that point, um, into like our community, like small group class. And literally But we can still say we were part of the OG.

SPEAKER_03 25:01

We were part of the OGs.

SPEAKER_00 25:02

We were there the first day. Sure were.

SPEAKER_03 25:05

Um we missed a year in the middle, but yeah, like literally a year.

SPEAKER_00 25:08

It's fine. Um we were there and we were like sitting around the girls that were in the class, and we went to leave, and again, like we'll just none of us will ever forget it because it's just so crazy. Our friend, who's now like literally one of my closest friends, ran like chased us out. It was like just what you don't know, like nobody thinks it's weird if y'all want to come back. Like we both had been in and out of class for so long that she was like, It's not gonna be weird if you come back. Like, we just would you know love if y'all come. And so I was kind of like at first, I was like, Oh, okay, you know, that's so weird, but okay. Um not really, but we started going back. We started going back. Um you can take this away. I feel like I'm just making no sense.

SPEAKER_03 25:58

No, it's good. I mean, sum it up, we started going back uh in 2023, and we haven't missed a beat since then. Um so 24 22, yeah, 24, yeah, January of 24. Um and haven't missed a beat since then. So we're into 26 now. It has been really, really good.

SPEAKER_00 26:18

Uh but oh my gosh, we've been going for two and a half years consistently. Yeah, that's so crazy.

SPEAKER_03 26:28

Doesn't even feel that long.

SPEAKER_00 26:30

Does it not feel that long at all?

SPEAKER_03 26:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:33

Whoa. Anyway, sorry.

SPEAKER_03 26:35

So that that's a crazy journey of like our church story, right? Um, and we could go on to that for hours on end. What I kind of wanted to get into today is like the good and the bad of that. So go back, right? That that's literally gets us up to today, essentially. Yeah. Like we started going, we got in our small group. Small group is really well. It's a bunch of like-minded people. Uh, transparently, it's a it is a bunch of people that are not from this city uh that we did not grow up with, or that were here and they all moved here essentially left and then have come back. Correct. Like they don't they're not old high school friends or anything like that. Like they're essentially like it's a whole new group of people, and so that's been really kind like really just like sweet in a sense, yeah. Uh, of a community that really wants to grow and learn and dive deeper. And um, we are all in the same stage of life when we started the class. There was one other kid or two other kids?

SPEAKER_00 27:31

There were like four.

SPEAKER_03 27:34

Not that first day. Uh I guess like if the people that were in there now, the kids were alive, the humans were alive. Yeah. There were like four humans alive uh when that when the class started.

SPEAKER_01 27:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:43

From the people who are in it now. So Jack was probably the third or the fourth or the fifth, something like that. Yeah. Um now, gosh. Three years later, three and a half years later, there are 30 plus kids in this class. Yeah. Um, which is just crazy. It's just craziness.

SPEAKER_01 28:00

Oh no.

SPEAKER_03 28:00

Uh, but that's just proof that like we're in the same stage in life. So it's it's married from 20 to 40 age gas, but everybody has toddlers, right? Everybody has young kids. And so uh that is what that is what puts you like, yeah, man. That is that is what just humbles you like no other. So that's been really sweet, uh, getting to see and be around that. And we've just poured into the church from top to bottom, uh, preschool ministry to to everything else, like all all of the it's a huge preschool ministry at the church, tons and tons of kids. Um, the church is good size, it's not massive, it's not a mega church by any stretch. I think there's like a 3,000 member list. We run like 1500, there's probably 1,500 on Sundays between two services. So it is a big church, but it feels like it feels small now that we're in it, type of thing. Yeah. Because like we're the literally the last ones out of the church every Sunday. Um, like they're locking the doors and we're walking out. So that's fun. All of our kids run around. And so moral of the story is like finding a church, right? Now I want to go back and debrief a little bit of this and our journey and talk about why like good things, bad things, things would have changed, and then talk about the church specifically. Um go back to that hey, we need to go find a different church, right? When we're going into marriage, huge flag, check mark, bad, bad X, big X. Uh don't do that. Um, do not do that. Have a plan in place before you get married, please. Uh, and if you're not married, if you're married, which most of you listening probably are married, um try to get on the same page about what you want to do about a church before you start, either before you leave where you're currently attending, or before you even start trying to go attend somewhere. And my reason for that is like we did not have a good plan set going into marriage, and so it took us two years to find a place that we were both comfortable, but that's like two years, those were two years of us of us like learning to live together and learning how to love each other and how to connect with each other and how like how to communicate with a spouse, right? Like those were very, very, very transformative years in our marriage that I would say like think about how differently the first three years of our marriage would have gone had we been in a Sunday school class like we're in now.

SPEAKER_00 30:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:27

Going into that.

SPEAKER_00 30:28

Yeah, no, I agree. I think that another thing that you have to think about though is like the spiritual growth that happened in those two years that like got us to a place of being like, no, we need a good church.

SPEAKER_03 30:41

Like we I don't know how much spiritual growth happened. I I would say that like we went backwards in a sense. Well, I mean I don't We realized we needed it, like we we got to the point where we realized we needed it.

SPEAKER_00 30:52

Yeah, I mean I yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:56

Say what you need to say.

SPEAKER_00 30:57

No, I just I just feel like we're not in the place that we were at the beginning of our marriage versus when we were like really seeking to find that.

SPEAKER_03 31:06

No, not no a million percent no, but uh but a lot of that seeking to find was because of like just the day-to-day issues that we were having, like of you needing to find community and like literally like feeling depressed because we just weren't with people and we didn't have a place that we could go call home, and like we we had no community outside of yeah, that was really hard. You were working night shift at this point, yeah, for the whole first part of their marriage, for the first year. Like that was it was a it was a crazy time in our life to not be in a church plugged in.

SPEAKER_00 31:38

Yeah, that was and the fact that we made it through this unscathed is really a miracle.

SPEAKER_03 31:46

It really is when you think about it. Continue.

SPEAKER_00 31:48

No, I'm just saying I it it was crazy. Like I always had that in the back of my mind, like we need to find a church, like we need to get really plugged in, like we need to have a community of people that know us and that we know them because that that is that is how I was raised. I was not raised to be like half in and just attend and leave on you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 32:11

Like you had gone to college, yeah. And then you came back into a church that you were like kind of helping with from your friend who is a youth pastor there.

SPEAKER_00 32:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 32:20

Like, so you had kind of fallen out of it. I I had never we never had small groups or anything like that. I did Sunday school on Sunday mornings.

SPEAKER_00 32:27

That was and that was so that was totally I didn't know what that was like until you become a young adult. Yeah, it's kind of done for you. Community is done for you, and so I was like, Well, I don't know how to create this, like I don't know how to go in out and find the community that I want to be part of or that I need because I've never had to do that. It's always just been like handed to me.

SPEAKER_03 32:50

I would say we really fell into a a really bad spiral of like almost cultural Christianity, like go to church on Sundays.

SPEAKER_00 32:59

100% we did. 100% we did.

SPEAKER_03 33:01

We'd go to church, check a box, and move on. Meet lunch, literally, like that was what it was, right? Like and guys, if you want a good book to read, read The Unsaved Christian by Dean and Sarah. One of the best books you ever read, explains and defines our area of the country to a T, a capital T of cultural Christianity and what that looks like. But we were 100%, that's what we were doing. And so uh you know, I say that like it's amazing we made it through there like this unscathed. It is like we have we have no big scars we carried with us from those two years. Yeah, neither one of us really like fell off the deep end, we didn't go and do anything like bad or wrong, like we got in an we got in a not a good habit, right? Yeah, but we still kept like we still kept some more compass essentially. Well, because we were still safe, correct, a hundred percent and we were still in church, and we but it's still like I looking back now, seeing what we have now and feeling what we have now, knowing we didn't have it for so long, yeah, is it's just like whoa. Okay, like thank you, God, literally, thank you, God, for not letting us just like fall into some trial that we didn't know we we were gonna be in or something, and then not have anybody around us. Correct. And so all that to say, got in a good group, it's been great, like-minded people. When it comes to the actual physical church, though, if you made it to 38 minutes of the show, this is where the meat and potatoes are. Is no church is perfect. Oh gosh, there's no perfect church. No, there will never be one that checks every single box for you and every single box for your spouse. It won't happen. Give it up. It's a pipe dream, it will never happen.

SPEAKER_00 34:51

Well, it's because we're humans, correct, and we live in a sinful world, and everyone, like nothing's perfect.

SPEAKER_03 34:58

Well, and everybody just has different opinions too. So it's like we were Savannah said mentioned earlier, like it was my way or the highway back then, right? Like I had I was sad and like this was the only way. And and again, look, there's no need to sit here and preface all this. Everyone, I'll have a conversation with anybody. If you may local listeners to this, come talk to me about my feelings or whatever I'm saying here, right? I'll I'll explain it for you. But the way that we were like the way that I was raised, the church was raised in was essentially like it was this way, and if you weren't doing this way, it was wrong. That's the way it was at least that's how you felt. That's how it was, that's how it was felt. That's how that's how it comes across. Yeah, yeah. And coming from the outside looking in, it felt that way.

unknown 35:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:41

Right? Like you were the outside coming in, it felt that way, right? Yeah, and so that's what I had been ingrained in my whole life. Uh, and again, I would not change a thing about my childhood. Nothing. I wouldn't there's nothing that I would change about it because it's made me who into who I am today. Right. Um there's a lot of things along the way that I've like probably said and done that I would wish I could change, but that just is what it is, right?

SPEAKER_00 36:04

Chill on the way you were raised, not in things that you have done. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:09

No, there are things that I would there's things that I've said and done due to the way that I was raised that I probably would change.

SPEAKER_00 36:16

Well, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:17

But again, it just is what it is. And so, but here's the here's the here's the truth of the matter, right? So those things that we're talking about, like it's not gonna be perfect, uh, it was my way at the highway, I felt like that was the only way. The church I was in theologically sound 100%, biblically sound to a T, right? Uh people that loved and cared on me and Savannah and our families, and still do. So I've so my best friends are from there, right? Yes. Will always be for life. Literally, the other day, like saw one on a plane coming home from Florida and they took me home from the airport. Like that is the kind of people, shirt off your back, like could not be more thankful for them and the roles they've played in my life and the relationships we continue to have with that, right? So again, no negative talk. It's just like that is where we were at, and and it took me getting out of that a little bit and seeing it from a different point of view because I had also I'd been raised in a Christian school, right? There was again very similar circles, very same similar walks of life, and uh there it's all good, like it is good things, and we focused on good things, but there were things that I think that we missed with a lot of other people along the way that potentially we like wrote off good people because it wasn't done the way that we thought it should be done, and uh so it took a long time of like us getting out and expanding because like when we go to we'll skip all the other churches, right? Let's just go to First Baptist where we are now. Uh, we'll skip the the limbo phase. Going here, I was like, the well, the the preaching is different. The the preaching is a 20-minute sermon, 25-minute sermon, and we're in and out, it's we check five boxes and we move on. Uh the music is different, you know, like all these things. And um again, it was different, right? And it but it it challenged me and made me be like, okay, what is the reason for like what is the reason you're getting upset about this? What is the reason you're judging this? What is the reason that you don't want to do this, right? And at the end of the day, if you stop and you sit back and you look and say, theologically sound, biblically sound, check mark, right? That that is the case where we are. People that love and want to serve the Lord, check mark. Yes, they are. Now here's the thing, back it up, right? You're never gonna get, and I'll tell you one of the big things of mine is like, especially that stage of life that we were in was like college life, college students, like you see what happens on Snapchat and Instagram and social media during the week, and then on the weekend those people come home and go to church. Yeah, right. And so a lot of those people go to this church, like we see these things, we see, you know, you just know things, and so that obviously puts a like a damper on things too, uh from a judgmental point of view of like, well, if this they're going to do this and come to this church, and something's off, right? Well, no, not necessarily, because one of the hardest things that it took, probably one of the things that took me the longest to realize is like it's a very simple thing to understand, too. You only need to worry about yourself.

SPEAKER_00 39:22

This was a long I was I was literally gonna talk about this because I feel like we spent a long time having this conversation, and it took a long time, I think, for you to be like, Yeah. Now, is it you know, like you said, is that good? It doesn't give those kids an excuse, right? But is that happening everywhere?

SPEAKER_03 39:41

Correct, everywhere. In the same church that I was in. Yeah. There's people that get up, sing in the choir, read a Bible verse, show up every week, go live like the world every other day of the week. Right. They just put on a different face and a different front.

SPEAKER_00 39:53

Like you're saying, it's like you only know your heart and your standing and your desire and your place with the Lord. Like it's not your place to be looking to the left and to the right and being like, well, are they doing what they're supposed to be doing? Are they showing up the way they're supposed to? What are they doing when they leave here? Well, what are you doing when you leave here? What is your heart saying? What is your like what does that say about you that that's where your focus is? You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 40:22

Because what they're doing is not real, it's not like it doesn't tie back necessarily to what the preacher's saying, right? Just because they go make that decision in their own life. But now again, I will say if you are looking at a church right now, and we have friends that are looking at churches and and figuring that out in that stage of life, like we've had these conversations, theologically sound, biblically sound, gotta check the boxes, right? There's have to be that has to be checked, top of the list. Yeah, like you cannot go somewhere that does not line up with what the Bible says. If they don't teach and preach that, you gotta go. Even if they check every other box, if that one's not there, yeah, gotta go. Doesn't count, right? So if that one's checked, then we start getting down into some other areas. And like for me, one of the biggest things that I look at is the is the pastor. Like that is the face of the church. They are they are the representation of literally of Christ in that church. They are preaching from the pulpit, teaching, sharing Christ's words through the Bible to his shep, to his to his flock, right? He's the shepherd, the the the pastor's the shepherd, and he's leading the flock, which is the church, the members of the body. Um, and so that's where I go secondly, personally. I don't know if you have anything that goes differently or you think differently, but like that's I go theologically sound, I go, all right, let's check the pastor. And uh in the beginning, I probably like let's look at the preaching. That was a flawed way of thinking as well, I think. Yeah. Um I go to the pastor for the floor.

SPEAKER_00 41:58

Correct. Then they're not gonna be saying, style. And then Which is okay, by the way.

SPEAKER_03 42:03

You don't if you don't like something, it doesn't or it doesn't resonate with what you want, it's okay to go somewhere. It's just that can't like you gotta be careful with the city.

SPEAKER_00 42:10

You should have your non-negotiables and that's not non-negotiable. Right. But the whole preaching thing, you know, when you that this is what's hard is like we can talk about all these things like worship styles, preaching styles, like the order of events in the service, or like how long certain things go, or the way the church does certain things, but like if if you just keep getting caught up in like the surf, not it's not service, I don't even know, like a cosmetic almost type things, like what does that say about your heart and what you are looking for when you walk in the door?

SPEAKER_03 42:50

Yeah, you're looking to be like, What are you looking for when you walk in the door?

SPEAKER_00 42:54

Are you looking to humbly worship and like dive into God's word and hear more about his preaching and or like he listens to the preaching and have a encounter with the Holy Spirit, or are you looking to see how it how it you know likens to what you want, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 43:19

Yes, correct. And so if you're there to again further like your your personal walk, then those aren't the things you're looking at. They're not. Yeah. You're focused on what can you how can you grow? What can you get? Like, and it almost it sounds like a selfish way, but like what can I get out of this? Like, how how is the Lord gonna work right in me here in this place? Yeah, right. Is he present? So when I say look at a pastor, I say like look at look at how they present themselves, right? And look at their life outside of church. And and that is just that's just a fact of the matter. Like, yeah, you as I I'm a pastor's kid, right? Like my dad had a A light on him wherever he went. Our family had a light on us wherever we went, right? If we ever went out to eat, and it we were he was a pastor in a very small town.

SPEAKER_00 44:09

Did we ever like make the small disclaimer that the church that we're talking about is not your like you went to a different church? You did not attach the church that your dad passed to.

SPEAKER_03 44:19

When I reached youth group age 15, 16, I could drive essentially, is when I started going to my childhood friends, which was the church that my dad grew up going to with his dad.

SPEAKER_00 44:28

Like the old church that we've been talking about this whole time is not Jeremiah's church. It's not my dad's dad's church.

SPEAKER_03 44:38

So I went and went there at youth. But um we always had a light on us. Like we always had wherever we went. And so like and I can truly say that like I cannot recall a time where my dad let down his witness in public. I I can't think of a time. And that is not easy to say, it's not easy to do. Uh it's one of the things that like I would say like I'm the most proud about is I I again I don't know of a time that I look and say, like, oh yeah, he really showed his butt there. Again, I was a kid for a lot of it. Like, I'm sure he did. I'm sure he I'm sure he messed up. Uh, and everyone does, we're all human, but that's what I sit and look at. And like our pastor now, um, he he is he will sit here and tell you if he listened to the show and we and I talk to him multiple times throughout the week now, like working there and stuff, like we get that we actually talk a pretty good bit. He would sit here and tell you, he is not the most dynamic speaker in the world. He doesn't like to speak from stage. Like he actually does, he's literally speaks because he called, like he feels the call to do it. Yeah, he's like, I I actually hate this, I hate public speaking. Yeah, uh, but he does it because he's called to do it, and so uh he is not the most dynamic speaker. It is a 25 to 30 minute message, uh, but it's very well thought out and it's very well like intentional. It's very intentional. I think the Lord speaks to him in these messages, he guides his words, rooted in scripture. It all again, it's all biblically sound, right? Yeah, um, but again, that was different. I grew up in 50 minute to 60 minute messages, yeah, right? Like that's just how I grew up. And so going from 50 to 60 minute messages, yeah, not the whole service, 50 to 60 minute messages preaching. Going from that to 45 to 50 minute entire services, that was an adjustment. I was like, well, we're not doing it as good, or we're not, we're not as whole, like we're right, we're not as Christian.

SPEAKER_00 46:35

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 46:35

This isn't as good because we're not doing it as long. Um, which a lot of that again was just like immaturity. I was 20 years old, yeah. Right? Like that's all the that's all a lot of that was. Yeah. Um, but it's just tough. Like it I sit here and I say, like, I don't I don't can't think of a time when I dad did that. I can tell you right now, like, our pastor now leads like I'm like arguably I've never seen. He he we have 1,500 people there on Sundays. He parks his truck on the furthest park parking spot he could be in, right? And walks the furthest that he could walk to get in the church. Other people get in.

SPEAKER_00 47:10

He never introduces himself as pastor. He always it's one of my favorite things.

SPEAKER_03 47:14

Yeah, it's one of my favorite things. Fannin knows like whenever he ever introduces himself from stage, he walks up, and there's 25, 30 people on staff at the church, probably.

SPEAKER_00 47:24

At least.

SPEAKER_03 47:24

He walks up and says, Hey, I'm Buddy, I'm a team member here.

SPEAKER_00 47:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:29

Like the he he's the pastor of the largest church in the city. He was the president of the Southern Madison Association, and he says, Hey, I'm Buddy, I'm a team member here.

SPEAKER_01 47:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:39

Like he could title his way to the top if he wanted to, but he doesn't. Right. And like that speaks all that I need to know right there. Like, that's all that you have to tell me. That tells me everything I need to know about a person, how much they like to talk with themselves. And if they use my and I or we and me. I mean we and us.

SPEAKER_01 47:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:00

Right? Like, we and us sound a lot better to me because they're building a team, right? And they don't rely on just themselves. Uh he again, we have a town of 15, I don't know, 20,000, 25,000 people live here, something like that. Oh, yeah. One of our big events, the church is a massive sponsor for, uh, goes and runs, it was a fourth of July event or something. It was four or five a year. And uh the next it goes late, food trucks, vendors, 20,000 people there, right? The next morning at 6 a.m., he was out on the side of the road picking up trash from the night before, right?

SPEAKER_00 48:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:34

No one ever knows that unless you see him out there. But again, our church was one of the biggest sponsors there. I think they were like the presenting sponsor. So like our church was all over that place, all over the name. Everything that we do is a representation of the church, right? Look at what the leader of the church is doing. Yeah. That tells me all I needed to know right there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:54

So Pastor.

SPEAKER_03 48:55

So the pastor's the second thing.

SPEAKER_00 48:57

Yeah, I think kind of quickly, as we've been talking about this for a while. Two other things for me, depending on your stage of life, are um kids, like, you know, your your kids need to feel like loved and safe and seen very like a good foundation because like the foundation that they receive in church, they will build on for the rest of their life, whatever it is. Disclaimer, whatever it is.

SPEAKER_03 49:25

Disclaimer, not an ex not a not a cop out to not parent them at home or teach them the Bible at home either, by the way.

SPEAKER_00 49:31

No.

SPEAKER_03 49:31

I'm just happening, what's happening what's being done at church is on top of what you're teaching them at home.

SPEAKER_00 49:36

Yes, but the experiences that they have at church will help shape their view of church for the rest of their life. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 49:43

So if it's a good experience, because don't forget a lot of this was because you had a negative experience, like a lot of what we went through was because you had negative experience at this place. Right. So it's it's coming full circle.

SPEAKER_00 49:54

Kind of, but like not at this age.

SPEAKER_03 49:56

It is.

SPEAKER_00 49:56

But at from a young, young place age, correct, them having positive, safe, fun interactions and times at church will make them want to come back. Yeah. Um, and so like I help in the preschool ministry. I love it. Um I'm so thankful for the opportunity to like serve. And that is like what we talk about all the time is like giving them a and I'm not just saying that we just like, you know, have cookies and play games all the time. Like I mean, we are helping lay the foundation of biblical knowledge um and like teaching them how much God loves them, you know, X, Y, and Z. But establishing those like truths and foundations and joyful experiences keeps them coming back. And in the same fold, like if you go to a church that doesn't put any emphasis on the children and and how important that is, then that will have the opposite impact, you know. Um, and like I said, regardless of whether it's a positive or a negative experience, like that's what you build on.

SPEAKER_03 51:06

So you know that's what's gonna stick with them forever.

SPEAKER_00 51:09

Yeah. So I'd say that. And then location. You have to think about location.

SPEAKER_03 51:14

Um it is a thought, yes.

SPEAKER_00 51:16

No, it's not a thought, it's important.

SPEAKER_03 51:18

It is important, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 51:19

It's important. Like I we, you know, you can be 30 plus minutes from your church.

SPEAKER_03 51:24

But you need to know why it's important. That you just need to make sure you explain why. It's not because you drive five, it's not because it's conveniently five minutes from the church or from your house, right?

SPEAKER_00 51:33

No, but that's not why it's because the people that you're doing life with should be also from the area that the church is in. Usually, do you have some outliers that drive more than 15 minutes, 20 minutes? Yes. But as a general rule, part of honestly, part of the reason that we wanted to stick with First Baptist is because we knew that we were gonna be more likely to say yes to lunch after church. Yeah. Say yes to a sporadic Tuesday night hang. Say yes to a random Saturday morning something if it was you know X amount of miles, X amount of minutes away from us, other than us trying to make something work in a church 45 minutes away.

SPEAKER_03 52:14

That's what it can be done. It can, it can, but it's tough.

SPEAKER_00 52:18

But if you want real community of people that know you, that you do life with, not just on Sundays, they need to be like close to you, uh vicinity-wise. That that's just reality.

SPEAKER_03 52:32

Like, I'm not saying Yeah, I think it can be done. You can do it.

SPEAKER_00 52:36

I think that it's hard.

SPEAKER_03 52:38

I think it's definitely hard, but it can be done.

SPEAKER_00 52:40

I just don't know how long you would want to keep that up.

SPEAKER_03 52:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:45

I don't know that that's sustainable long.

SPEAKER_03 52:46

I can tell you right now, we have 50, roughly 50 people in our small group. That's like husbands and wives combined. Um I don't know of one I we could be at anyone's house within 20 to 25 minutes. 25 minutes. I don't think we have a 25 minutes. 25 minutes is the furthest.

SPEAKER_00 53:04

I don't even know who's 25.

SPEAKER_03 53:05

Moody. That'd be the that'd be the furthest.

SPEAKER_00 53:08

25.

SPEAKER_03 53:08

22, 20, 22.

SPEAKER_00 53:10

20. Okay, I'll get there in 20.

SPEAKER_03 53:13

So 20 minutes. Uh literally, 20 minutes is the furthest we drive. We could be anybody's house in our entire small group, right? Of 50 people. So the location does matter. Uh who you're gonna do life with. But uh, yeah, we'll wrap up. I don't want to linger too long. I'll forget something. We've blabbered it, but I think this has been good.

SPEAKER_00 53:29

I think that hopefully it's giving you some backstory on kind of our marriage and like well, just like some high points, like of why you you want a church, the importance of of we didn't touch a ton on this, like why it's important, but the importance of the two of you finding a church together.

SPEAKER_03 53:47

And we'll we're gonna I'm just gonna tell you right now, we're gonna talk about this a little more next week because we have not covered what I wanted to cover totally. Like, this is just like again, we've kind of laid a foundation and showed you, and but again, this is the very beginning of cultivated, right? I I want you to hear the foundations and the bases and for us to come back on in five years and you can listen to a show if you're new and be like, oh, okay, this makes this makes a lot of sense, right? Why they're so passionate about this. Uh, because this is one area that we screwed up bad early on in marriage. And I really want to make this didn't make it a priority. Yeah, we just didn't make it a priority. And so I want to make sure that like if we can help anybody with that in the future, we can help avoid that. And if even if you are not newly married, but you're looking for a church or you're not in church, like this is these are steps to help you figure that out and help you get there together.

SPEAKER_01 54:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:34

Biblically sound, gotta check it. Look at the pastor, does he check out? Yes, he's a human, he's not perfect, right? But he should be embodied. There should be fruit of his uh labor, and he is called to a different standard. It just like it or not, it just is it is right. You're a leader in the church, you're called to a different standard. So you gotta look at that, in my opinion. Uh, and again, this is just my opinion, it's not scripturally backed. Uh, it's just what I'm what we've done and what I believe in. Um, and then two, then three, like, I am I am gonna start looking at some people in the church at that point. Like, where where what are there fruits of people inside the church? Yeah, not everyone, guys. There's a lot of people in our church, 3,000 members in a church, there's a lot of people there that may, you're lucky if they just show up on Sundays, right? There's all people there that show up on Sundays every week, but they have nothing further than that. And again, that's not me judging them, it's just the fact of the matter. You can't have statistically, you can't have that many people and have 3,000 people actually bought in, like full on diving in, like, let's grow deeper theological backgrounds and uh relationships. It's just not happening. So you do have to look at that, and again, no one's perfect, but you need to just look and say, from a sense of like, okay, well, what is this person doing wrong? Look and say, Okay, are the people showing fruit and bearing fruit? If there are, can I align with those people? If I can align with those people and I can bear fruit, then there you go. Because again, you're in it to grow yourself and to grow your relationship. Because when you go read your relationship, then you can go tell others and reach others better. So that's the that's like intro, intro into how find a church, right? We'll talk about it again next week and talk more about what Savannah said of um finding it together, being on the same page because and man, kids throw a whole different ballgame in there. Um kids throw, ooh, especially different age groups, um, throw a whole different thing in uh thing in in there. But anything glaring, you think we missed that we should like tie up with?

SPEAKER_00 56:35

I think so.

SPEAKER_03 56:37

I think that gives you a good understanding of kind of our first four or five years of marriage. We're going on six, by the way. Can you believe that? I know. And uh it's gonna be crazy. Six years. And what a journey it's been. We've learned a lot, got a lot more to learn, but I'm excited and thankful for where we've come. I'm excited for where we're going. I'm excited for how we're gonna get there. I'm excited for the people around us. Uh, if we can help, please reach out and let us know. Uh, if you're local, hey, come to church with us, come hang out, right? Uh I I I would love to see you there. We are literally all our whole purpose is like let's grow the kingdom, right? And you see, people where these church are like make heaven crowded.

SPEAKER_01 57:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 57:15

Like that's a very good, that's a very good uh slogan to follow. Make heaven crowded. So um, what can we do to help you get there? But I am super thankful for each and every one of you. Thank for the support of the new show. Uh, I am I I I couldn't be more happy doing it. I'm excited to see where it goes and what we get into. It's a it's a crazy point in life where we've been starting this. Uh we have I do have really big plans and really big future for it. I am excited to get there. But again, we're just laying the foundation. Young, young kids, we're doing so hard. It just, man, life is life is life in right now for sure. But nothing to complain about. I'm literally too best too blessed to complain about anything. So anyway, guys, uh, you got anything to leave it? Are you done? I think we're signing off.

SPEAKER_00 58:01

I think we're signing off.

SPEAKER_03 58:02

All right, guys. Well, thank you for tuning in. If we can ever help you, reach out and let us know. Thank you for listening. We could not do without you. Leave us a big five starting review if you do it. Enjoy it. Subscribe to the YouTube channel if you're watching it out there, and uh give us a big like there as well. But without any further ado, guys, that's gonna wrap this episode up. Thank you for tuning in, and we'll catch you here on the next one.