Raising Good Humans in a Loud World

In this episode of Cultivated, Jeremiah and Savannah get real about what it actually looks like to raise kids, pursue discipline, and stay grounded in what matters most. They unpack Savannah’s week-long phone fast leading up to Easter, the intentionality behind it, and how it reshaped her presence with family and faith. The conversation then shifts into their honest experience with attempting 75 Hard—why they stopped, what they learned, and how they’re redefining discipline in a sustainable way. From there, they dive deep into parenting toddlers, tackling sleep deprivation, tantrums, and the challenge of regulating your own emotions while raising young kids. The episode wraps with a powerful perspective on raising “good humans,” navigating outside opinions, and staying rooted in faith and purpose.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

What's going on everybody? Thank you so much for tuning in on to the episode of the day here on Cultivated. Hope you guys are doing well. Welcome into another show, to another week here. Week 10, I believe, week 11, somewhere in there. And uh could not be more grateful to be coming to you today for another fresh new episode. And uh I'm excited to be joined with my beautiful co-host, Savannah. How are you?

SPEAKER_02 0:22

Good.

SPEAKER_00 0:23

Just checking your messages over there while I give you an intro. No, my watch went off and I was checking your messages to see what it was.

SPEAKER_02 0:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:31

What was it? How important was it?

SPEAKER_02 0:33

My mom just responded to a text.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

You're coming off a week-long phone fast.

SPEAKER_02 0:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:39

A real phone fast, too, not like a little social media fast or like a real phone fast.

SPEAKER_02 0:45

Yeah. I like for this week, I guess we're gonna talk about this.

SPEAKER_00 0:49

Um real time, it was the week leading up to Easter if you're listening real time.

SPEAKER_02 0:52

So I usually, I mean, I had a phone with me for safety reasons because I was like if you left the kids, like if I left the house. Um but the majority of the time, like at home, it was either like on my dresser or you know, in a nightstand or something. And I just I had I just put it on you not disturb and for only like you and like two people to come through because they knew that I was like fasting. So I knew that if they called me, like it was like something, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And so I would like answer the phone if people called me. Like I'm I wasn't like holding up, but just like the principle of like texting, like being on my phone. I just that was what I was you know, taking a break from.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

Yeah, how was that? We haven't even discussed it.

SPEAKER_02 1:43

Yeah, I was like really good. Um, I think tonight, and I don't know if this is just because it's like Easter, which we'll talk about, but um, I was like today's like probably the first time that I was like, no, I kind of want to get on my phone and like see what's up, like you know check in, check in because you know two things that I feel like led to me not really caring as much about being on my phone is that I would answer the phone if people called me, like have a conversation on the phone. And so the friends that I told like would intermittently call and like check in. So I I was like having conversations with people, and with it being Holy Week, we had stuff like a lot, like our community and small group was um like pretty uh in like I don't want to say invested, like we just active, active, very active, and observed a lot of that together. So I was like around people a lot and I didn't really feel the need to be on it. So yeah, um yeah, it was really good.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

How was it with the kids? Did you feel more like connected to them this week?

SPEAKER_02 2:45

Yeah, I was more present because especially like this is bad, but like like even in the car, I don't like sit, I I don't like sit on the phone and scroll while I drive, obviously. But I just like my mind is like when I get here I need to do this, when I get here I need to do that. And but with me not like having a phone, I if I had it, obviously I would take it in the car and just like leave it in the console. But like usually if we like at if I were like at the park or something, I would leave it in the car. Or if we were going in the store, you know, like I would try to leave it. Yeah, so um I could and just even at really just more so at home. Like there was just never a temptation. So that's the biggest place, yeah. Yeah, there's just never a temptation because I just knew like I'm not on it for a week. So yeah. Yeah, I couldn't.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

Well, I'm glad that uh I'm glad that went good. Um Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

It's something that feels like probably everybody should do. Um I would have to put I'd have to do it a little bit differently, but there are definitely ways. Uh I cannot just shut it off for a week, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_02 3:45

Yeah. But um I would and I'll say like I didn't like send out a mass text of like, I, you know, well, yeah, no, you just told I wasn't really gonna talk about it just because I was like, I don't feel the need to broadcast that, but um I did like check my messages at the end of the night just to make sure that it wasn't something like super time sensitive or like pertinent to like needed to respond to or whatever, but yeah, that was kind of I mean that's a good thing.

SPEAKER_00 4:13

Yeah, yeah. Um good. Well, I'm glad to hear that. That's literally the first time we've debriefed it. Uh this has been a week, man. It's been a week. I know I say that every week. This has been a week. Um Right.

SPEAKER_02 4:24

It's been a two weeks.

SPEAKER_00 4:25

Yeah. So we should talk. So now I've heard update. You know, beginning of the show here. Uh it's time to time to get into it, and we have a confession to make.

SPEAKER_02 4:34

We did not make it.

SPEAKER_00 4:37

Did not make it. I really did not expect to go into this, really.

SPEAKER_02 4:41

I I did not expect that, but you want to give your thoughts on it?

SPEAKER_00 4:46

Well, you give yours first and then I'll give mine.

SPEAKER_02 4:49

I have a lot of thoughts on it.

SPEAKER_00 4:52

Uh well, let's hear yours, and I will I mean Well, you kind of came to the decision, you came to the decision quicker than I did. Yeah. And I followed suit in it to an extent. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:02

Well, we'll start by saying that we talked about this not a lot, actually, in the beginning. Um what, doing so hard? Yes. We decided 48 hours into the yeah. This is an extreme like definition of rash decision. For sure, 100%. 100%. Um, and we're very optimistic, as one should be if they're starting something like this. Uh and we kind of like thought this would be a good thing. It seemed like a good time of the year, which theoretically, like, and honestly, it is a pretty good time of the year.

SPEAKER_00 5:32

Yeah, like it is a lot of logistics work out well, yes, like that hasn't changed.

SPEAKER_02 5:37

But we just like well, you know, you you can speak for yourself, but personally, like as we got more into this, I just realized that I it's not not possible with you know where we're at. Obviously, it is, but is it helpful? Is it like beneficial in all of the ways that you want it to be? I was just starting to feel like no, I just was starting to feel like the benefits were not outweighing the cons. Like the pros are not outweighing the cons for me anymore. It was like contributing so much to just like anxiety and feeling overwhelmed and stress, stress in general. And we had had like several conversations about things in my life that are causing that, and this was for me like the number one thing that I have control over and could to remove essentially and see like pretty immediate change. Um, just because like I have always been a person that works out four to five times a week, like very consistently, like since college. So like it's not that, it's just this feeling of like having these ticks to check off every single day on top of your other life and things that you're trying to do and fitting that in. Because like we talked about, it doesn't your every day doesn't look the same. Like, sure, you didn't physically not possible, right? Like, we sure we could get up every single day at 5 a.m. and get one of them in if you want to bank on it.

SPEAKER_00 7:18

To die. Yeah, well, because you don't like kids are unpredictable sleep. I could be up at 3 a.m. I could be go to bed at 11 p.m. Like you just don't know. There's so many videos.

SPEAKER_02 7:30

You could say that, but then you have another out, you have another workout too. Sometimes it's outdoor, sometimes it's indoor. So, you know, we like were very hopeful about doing family walks and things like that, and it just became pretty evident within the first few weeks that like take the age, they're not gonna sit in a shore for 45 minutes a day. So then you end up doing some after they go to bed, and then well, if you're getting up at 5 a.m. every day, then you're doing that. So again, this is not to complain, this is just to explain, like just logistics, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:01

It it was just not it's also not justification, it's literally just why just the reason why.

SPEAKER_02 8:08

I I'm not justifying this to anybody. Like, if you there are many people that have been in harder like physical logistics situations than we are and have done this, like I'm not discounting that at all. I'm just saying, like, I took a step back, looked in the mirror, and said, Hey, this is really contributing to me, like negative things in my life more than it is like helping me, because I was trying to really focus on the positives, like self-discipline and like um I don't know, uh, other things like I guess just really like self-discipline and will and and you know, like mental toughness and like persevering and doing hard things and and trying to do that. But you know, and we'll talk about like this whole modified, whatever you want to call it, you know, people always like kind of roll their eyes when you talk about a modified version of something, but like what how can this actually benefit me? Because like, did I lose a little bit of weight? Yeah, yeah, but is that the whole reason that you do this?

SPEAKER_00 9:12

No, yeah, what it wouldn't negatively affect you.

SPEAKER_02 9:15

And that well, that's the other thing that I was we're talking about today, like what your why is, like why you're even doing this, who you're even doing this for. And if I were to take a step back, like we talked about this, but I realized that I wasn't doing this for me anymore, I was doing this for you. I was like, I can't keep going like this. Like, I'm not doing this for myself anymore. I don't care. Like you, you I think we talked about this, but like I had kind of started voicing a little bit earlier on that I felt like I not earlier on as in like day three, but like before we decided to change it up, yeah. That like I didn't feel like I had the capacity to keep doing this at the rate that we were doing it. And you were like so lovingly trying to hold me accountable and just be like, you know, like we're gonna do this, because I've done that for you on days, you know, like that's part of the beauty in doing this together. I can never do it alone. But and that's why I felt so much guilt. I was like, I can't not do this, like we're doing this together, but I just genuinely like could not keep doing it, like mentally, emotionally, freaking like spiritually. I was like, this is not like me physically, yeah. Um and so you were like asking me, you were like, okay, because we were having this conversation at night and we still had a workout to do, but this conversation happened many times. So this was not on a whim of like, I just I'm so tired tonight, I can't do it. We're gonna air quote fail. It was like, okay, I'm bringing this up again that I don't think I can keep doing this anymore. And you brought up a point of of just remind of you know, just another perspective or think about like if it's 10 a.m. tomorrow, if you've done one of your workouts, you've already had half a gallon of water, like you only have one more workout to do, you're on track for the day with your diet, would you still want to quit? And I was like, Yes. Like I can't even explain to you or emphasize that enough. Yes, like yes, like I I don't feel any guilt or shame about not moving forward.

SPEAKER_00 11:20

It wasn't doing positive, net positive.

SPEAKER_02 11:22

No, it wasn't. And um I just got to this point where I was like, I'm not doing this for anybody else. I'm doing this for me, and I don't care what people think, if they're gonna be ugly or oh you like you failed or whatever, then no. Yeah, like I don't have anything to say.

SPEAKER_00 11:38

Well, there's no I mean it kind of goes back to the whole the first time we did it, right? In the in the group that we were in, the Facebook group, like people are just crazy and so um like and just enthralled with it. And if you quit if you do one miss one thing, miss that thing, you you fail, and right all this stuff, and it is like the literally is getting to the point where net negative like it was a little net negative. Well, we're back after a short interruption, uh, but you didn't know it. Where were we at? We were talking so hard, and then it was all it was literally just net negatives at that point, and so yeah, we had that discussion, and I'm one that like when I'm committed to something, I don't really want to stop.

SPEAKER_02 12:13

Uh like I will push myself to Well, and I really though like was that way too.

SPEAKER_00 12:20

Yeah, I mean you got to the point where I was like it was all net negatives, and so No, I don't I just mean I'm thinking like compared to last time.

SPEAKER_02 12:29

Yeah, the last time we did this compared to this time we did this, like I feel like last time we did this, that was me. I was like, I don't care what this takes. If I said I was doing this, we're gonna finish it.

SPEAKER_00 12:38

Yeah. And this time just year, so this time I mean, obviously we have two kids. So we made a decision, and then I it my role has significantly changed uh from where we were gonna be my role the next six weeks has been uh kind of turned upside down. So we lost a pretty key employee on our landscape division, so that has thrown a wrench in things. I will be a lot more field heavy, uh, especially training new hires, and so um the next six to eight weeks, the aka the conclusion of Setting of Hard, we're are gonna be uh very field heavy for me. And so getting getting all that in the day, and that's and that's what made it so stressful last time was I was in the field so much and it took a very negative impact on the business. Like I no doubt about it. And I felt it, I felt it happening this time too, yeah, because the last two weeks I've been pretty field heavy getting out of this project that we've been on. Yes, and because it so that's been half of the time we've been doing it, it's been those two weeks.

SPEAKER_02 13:36

Yeah, because we made it to what day 33.

SPEAKER_00 13:38

Yeah, so half a month, yeah, right? And the last two weeks, like I've fallen behind on estimates. I haven't done like bookkeeper and accounting the way that I needed to do. I have not I've not gotten estimates out the door the way that I need to. Uh communication has not been good just because it's been so like that. An hour and a half of my day has been spent working out, and so it's like that hour and a half I could be.

SPEAKER_02 14:02

It's not it's it never becomes mindless, honestly. Like there are aspects of it that do become a little bit like the water, like, but it's still you still have to track it, and like thinking about reading your stuff and and like constantly. I'm now again, like some of these things like we're gonna continue to do, but like the the whatever. I'll tell you my proposal in a minute, but whatever diet you follow, like you're constantly thinking about that throughout the day. Like if you've met that, where you're at, if you're falling behind, if you've done a little too much, and you're gonna have to think about how to pre-plan your other meals. So, like, there's no part of it that becomes totally mindless. Like, does it become a little bit easier, like not as consuming? Yes, like as you get more into it, you're just used to it, but it doesn't like take the stress.

SPEAKER_00 14:50

I'll tell you the biggest negative that I felt that we both felt now like looking back on it was pre-Center of Hard six weeks ago. We had both got in a pretty good habit about getting up in the mornings and reading uh our Bibles. Yeah, and that stopped when Center of Hard started because we were either getting up at 5 a.m. to work out, yep.

SPEAKER_02 15:07

Um because our kids don't sleep great. And if we getting up at 4 30 or 5, you only get one of those. You either get to work out or you get to have like intentional quiet time reading your Bible. Yeah, and you don't get to do both because by the time the workout finishes, somebody's up and yeah, it they do not sleep in.

SPEAKER_00 15:28

And so that was the that was the negative, was we missed we missed that. And yeah, I I feel it, like I feel it. Right. Um, for sure. That change. And so excited to to get back to that. Um, I I still want to keep reading some, but we and the reason we people are like, well, you read nonfiction, reading 10 pages of a nonfiction book versus 10 pages of the Bible, two totally different things. Uh two totally different things. Reading 10 pages of the Bible would probably take you 30 minutes. Like 30. 20 to 30 minutes.

SPEAKER_02 16:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:01

At least a minute.

SPEAKER_02 16:03

I mean, do you want to take in what you're reading or do you want to skim over?

SPEAKER_00 16:05

Exactly. If you want to process it at all.

SPEAKER_02 16:07

Yeah, that's just like so much meat to take in at one time.

SPEAKER_00 16:12

Yeah. So anyway, uh, that is where we're at. We have definitely like maybe not a pocket Bible. I think you could cheat code, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:24

Um, sorry. We definitely there were some pauses that came from it, right? Like uh definitely pauses came from it. And we are gonna do something moving forward, like we're gonna continue doing something.

SPEAKER_02 16:34

Yeah. My vote is This is kind of crazy, but I'm just like I like it.

SPEAKER_00 16:39

I think we should commit to it for like six months, and we would be different people in six months. But if we did 75 Heart, essentially, we're not calling it that, you can't call it that. It's not the program, right? I get all that.

SPEAKER_02 16:49

Those rules.

SPEAKER_00 16:50

I don't feel like listing all the rules, exactly. All those rules with the exception of one workout a day instead of two. That's the only thing we would change.

SPEAKER_02 16:58

Indoor or outdoor.

SPEAKER_00 16:59

Correct. You just do 45 minutes a day. And uh my proposal is we do everything with that exception for 30-day increments, and that weekend, so it could be maybe like 27, 28 days, it could be 31 or 32 days, whatever, however, that weekend falls. But the weekend around that 30-day mark, that Friday, Saturday, Sunday, you take off and you don't do anything. And you get to go out to eat, you get to eat dinner, like that's once a month. You could eat a really good, you can go we could go on a date once a month and have a good dinner. You could have a party, you could do whatever, right? Eat whatever you want, do whatever you want.

SPEAKER_02 17:34

It's our off weekend or having a party.

SPEAKER_00 17:36

Exactly. Um, eat whatever you want, do whatever you want, go wherever you want, type thing, and not work out. It's three days. Three days are not gonna negate the previous 28 to 32 days that you have, right? Like that's it's not gonna do anything. Yeah, and so I think it's a lot more achievable because I'll tell you, like, we so we I quit Friday, and you quit Thursday. Friday was my last day.

SPEAKER_02 18:01

Or I didn't do it Friday, I didn't do my second workout on Thursday night.

SPEAKER_00 18:05

Correct. And I didn't do the workouts at all on Friday. Yeah, I didn't I because it was it was so filled head. Like we were in the field, it was just it was crazy. Um, but so I didn't do that. We were fasting Friday uh Friday. We fasted all day Friday, and so we did a 24 hour yeah, full it was all full. I was ever bit of 24 too. Um, but it was very good. And but then we ate Saturday and Sunday. Yeah, and I'm already to the point, like, okay, I'm good. Like I wanna I ate three good meals each day.

SPEAKER_02 18:40

And and we, you know, we recognize I've tried to remind him this is a holiday weekend, so we ate a little better than we would have on a normal weekend.

SPEAKER_00 18:49

Like, but that doesn't that that doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_02 18:51

I'm just saying, I feel like most people after a weekend of eating all around a holiday are like, who, yeah, yeah, I'm ready to get back to normal.

SPEAKER_00 18:58

But I think I still think it's a good principle. I'm I still think we should do it. If you did that, there's no doubt in my mind if you did that for six or eight months, you would not get burnout near as easy, and you would still be a totally different human.

SPEAKER_02 19:11

I just don't know that I want to live my life the way that we have the last 33 days.

SPEAKER_00 19:18

I would do it. That's the workouts are the only thing that really bothered me. That I've gotten used to the calorie thing.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

Hey, I'm over the water doesn't bother me. Oh, I'm over the water.

SPEAKER_00 19:27

The water doesn't bother me.

SPEAKER_02 19:28

I'm over the water.

SPEAKER_00 19:29

Um, yeah, it doesn't really bother me that bad. But I I don't know. That may be what I do, but we'll figure something out. But whatever we do, we're gonna stick to something. We're not just gonna go back to like living like pigs again. So um woo. Anyway, Easter was great. We had a great Easter weekend, and uh just celebrating what that actually means, you know, um, the fact that Jesus did conquer death and the grave. And uh I gotta watch my Barabbas video before I go to bed. But I watch that every year. It is one of the best videos I've ever seen. So it was in the show notes last week. Um, if you want to go watch it, go back to that link and watch it. But uh really great weekend. Church was great. Our our um church had six services, technically, really only three. Yeah, three service times and then two areas that three services in two different areas, and so uh it was very good, very big, lots of visitors. Um found out a uh friend gave his life to Christ, which was fantastic. Like that's a really cool um story, and so that's a high note going into the week for sure.

SPEAKER_02 20:41

Yeah, this Easter was really good. I I am really thankful that you know last year, just super quick, like we had had Tate less than a week before. Yeah, and we just I wasn't there to be able to take him to church and all that. I just it was so crowded anyway. So we didn't go last year at all. We didn't really participate in any of the like holy week things that our group did. And so I do feel like we missed that. And um this year I was really thankful that we were able to be part because I do think it makes a really big difference when you like really force your mind to focus on that. And transparently, that's why I fasted my phone. I was like, I just talking about all the just like anxiety and overwhelm that I've been feeling that I think so many far contributed to, that wasn't like the source, but I just going into this week and Easter, I was like, I I just want my mind to be on that and why we're even doing these things because when you have a community or like you're very involved in a church, it can feel so easy for like events like this to just feel social and feel like something that we get to go do, or on the opposite side of that, something that we have to go do, like something that we do because we're part of a group and like uh people go and um you want to be involved. And so I think it was just like so important for me to be like, know, like why are we doing this? Like, what am I doing here? What is this purpose? Really just trying to stay in that mindset of like remembering and like not doing it for the motion of doing it. Doing it because like I wanted to do it and because I was trying to be obedient and not just like you know, social.

SPEAKER_00 22:30

We did a sunrise service with a three-year-old and a one-year-old. Tried doing that. That was uh chaotic.

SPEAKER_02 22:37

And the service at the time of the service, we hadn't eaten in 24 hours.

SPEAKER_00 22:41

Exactly. We're coming off of a fast.

SPEAKER_02 22:43

So you want to talk about some temptation and and um hangriness.

SPEAKER_00 22:48

We got some great breakfast after that though. Yeah, we did it. But it was it was really cool. Our small group did that and fasted together and then it was wonderful. We it was a great week.

SPEAKER_02 22:56

It was just it was all it was easy for it to feel like a lot if you did not remind yourself like why are we doing this? Yeah, what does this week mean for us? Like, you know, why is this so important? Why do we need to to actually do all of these things, you know? Because we had our well, we serve I serve on Wednesday night, so we had that, and then we had our the Seder dinner on Thursday, and then we had the Good Friday service, the sunrise service, Easter service, like it was a lot, but um there's a reason it was a lot, so we're thankful that we have a reason to do it.

SPEAKER_00 23:32

Hard pivot. Uh there's a little life update. I wr I pulled up some things here that I want to get into really quickly about the hardest things, the top five hardest things that toddler parents go through. Uh, and I thought they're pretty relevant, they're pretty relevant. Um and one of them is the first one out of the gate's pretty relevant. Sleep deprivation is one.

SPEAKER_02 23:55

We've already talked about that.

SPEAKER_00 23:57

Yeah, we've already talked about that and what that contributes. So wait.

SPEAKER_02 24:04

Oh my gosh. Are we like toddler parents now that it takes one?

SPEAKER_00 24:09

Yeah, no, he's not. I mean, do you go straight from infant to toddler? I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 24:16

What age is considered toddler?

SPEAKER_00 24:18

I mean, it's definitely not an infant anymore, but I feel like a toddler's two to me.

SPEAKER_02 24:24

When 12 and 36 months?

SPEAKER_00 24:27

Between 12 and 36 months. Oh, really?

SPEAKER_02 24:29

Oh my gosh. What happens at three? Preschool? Ages and sages. Let's look at this super duper quick. Baby.

SPEAKER_00 24:40

No, baby's gone.

SPEAKER_02 24:41

Yeah, we have two toddlers, one to three. Well, and then preschool is three to five. So technically he's becoming preschool and then grade school. So we have two toddlers. I just I literally just got a shiver up my spine.

SPEAKER_00 24:59

Well, according to Claude, sleep deprivation is the number one.

SPEAKER_02 25:03

Yeah, I'll give you that. It's the worst. It's so unfortunate.

SPEAKER_00 25:06

And I would say that I think everyone may not struggle with sleep deprivation if you have toddlers. But sleep deprivation.

SPEAKER_02 25:14

If you get into the older stage of toddlers, you probably don't as much. Like with Jack, even before we had Tate, we were not struggling with sleep deprivation.

SPEAKER_00 25:22

Yeah, sleep deprivation is not a thing if we don't have Tate right now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:25

Uh let's just don't get it twisted. It's freaking Tate.

SPEAKER_00 25:28

But the ab the consequences of sleep deprivation are the greatest, I believe. Like that throws you for a loop like no other. And even though you may not struggle with it terribly, like you go through a night or two of that. Yeah. And it is rough. Are you FS?

SPEAKER_02 25:46

It makes you question everything. Yeah. I'll never forget like how bad it was with Date in the very, very beginning.

SPEAKER_00 25:54

I was like, Or the first nine months.

SPEAKER_02 25:56

No, no, I know, but I just remember because in the very very beginning, you know, it's like every hour and a half to like two hours. And it's not, it's just a process to get them back to sleep. But we were hanging on to this glimmer of hope that like it was gonna be a couple months. Yeah. Like I'll never went away. Forget that we had somebody bring us dinner and they had a six-month-old at the time. And you know, granted, Tate's probably like a week old, maybe two weeks old. And we made a joke about she had fallen asleep in the car seat and it was like 5 30 p.m. And we were like, oh, is that not gonna mess up her night or down there? Like, no, like she didn't really sleep anyway. It's like we'll probably still be up, you know. She didn't really always sleep through the night. And I just was like, There's no way that's a thing. You're six-month-old isn't six to the night. Like, whoa, that really sucks. Like, I'm not sure. Because Jack was such a good sleeper. Jack was such a great sleeper, and I just was like flabbergasted at the thought that a six-month-old wouldn't sleep through the night. And I was like, sucks to me then, like, that's gonna be so rough. Little did we know, and so it's just so funny to think like we I was like unwell, like sometimes now I think I'm unwell. I was unwell when I was not sleeping at that newborn stage, like and then you you do forget, but you cannot fully forget what that's like. I think you do block it out though, you do 100% block it out, you do because you cannot understand the like the degree of it, like you cannot remember the degree. It's like how consequential it is, yeah. Yeah, it's like you cannot grasp it unless you're in it, and you would never have more kids.

SPEAKER_00 27:33

No, if you fully remembered everything, you would not have more kids.

SPEAKER_02 27:37

I'm a firm believer in that.

SPEAKER_00 27:39

It there's no way there's no way if you fully remembered every single aspect.

SPEAKER_02 27:43

You talk about that with birth too. Like, women would not birth another child if you know you didn't have some type of blackout because it's the same thing with the newborn sleep. Like, I remember it being bad, but if I were in that right now, I would be because I remember I would be in it, and I was like, Yeah, we're done. I'm done with this. Yeah, this is it.

SPEAKER_00 28:03

This and that guy, he just I mean, man, it was nine months. It was nine or ten months before we got half what decent halfway was in sleep.

SPEAKER_02 28:13

It's still only decent. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 28:15

No, he's one, so it's uh man, it is it is a wild thing. So sleep renovation is number one. Right. The thing that I think I would say to that is the one of the reasons why it's so consequential is what it does to or what the ability of what it has to do to like your relate our relationship, yeah, and your relationship with your spouse because you just start like things that should not matter and are shot are not big deals become big deals because of how sleep deprived you are. Like your attitude changes, your mood, your mood just changes.

SPEAKER_02 28:48

Your body's justn't built to function that way, correct.

SPEAKER_00 28:51

And it's it's not like you're and the thing with it is is it's not like night shift, right? It's not like people say, well, you night your body's not meant to function on night shift hours. Yes, but like even with night shift, you work all yeah, it's not, I agree. Yeah, but even with night shift, you work all night and then you go home and sleep during the day. Yeah, right. This is you get up all night and you don't get to sleep during the day. Yeah, like that's the we were up all night and then I go work the next day.

SPEAKER_02 29:19

Yeah, and I know like I I need to just like say that I've fully recognized the position that of life that I'm in of getting to like rest it when my kid, like a having that opportunity of that, like being a stay-home parent. So I don't want to discredit really you or other working parents because we joked, like, no, God knew I need to be home because I could not have been doing that and then working 12s, like Jack was such a good sleeper and I worked. I remember being like, if he ever woke up or something on an a night that I worked, I was like, no, like I can't even go in the room, like I cannot because I have to work, like it was such a thing, and knowing that that could have been my reality, that is so hard. So I know that it it was a little easier for me knowing that, like, okay, they're gonna take a nap now and then I can lay down or whatever. But yeah, it is it's not like that. You just get up and you just keep going.

SPEAKER_00 30:18

Number two, tantrums and your own regulation of mood. I think both those are. Which is why you talk about it, right? Uh wow, so that's a loaded topic. I think we could do a whole show on that. Um the tantrum phase. That is one that I feel like it comes in waves. Like you had we had tantrums, so Jack is three and a half now, and so he's not he's not a toddler anymore then.

SPEAKER_02 30:57

Yeah, technically toddler's one to three, preschool's three to five.

SPEAKER_00 31:00

So it's like you said 36 months, and he is 36.

SPEAKER_02 31:04

Oh, okay. And he's staying for preschool. Yeah, which tracks to me. He seems like a preschooler. He does not really do, and he did not, he did not really do tantrums.

SPEAKER_00 31:16

Mm-mm. Yes, he did. It's just different than what you're thinking about. He has his own version.

SPEAKER_02 31:20

Yeah, but I'm saying he would not like he never threw himself on the floor.

SPEAKER_00 31:25

He never did kicking screaming.

SPEAKER_02 31:26

He never did like kicking screaming, he never like so violently vetoed the car seat. Like he never like arched his back. No, he he it was not that, but like his version of tantrums is like I feel like what we've bridged into the last like six months is like arguing with you and screaming. Yeah, like he will scream and he will argue, and he will not listen at all. Like when he is in this. He'll just like turn his ears off, literally, literally, and he just cannot move on until he communicates like why he's doing what he's doing and why he thinks this is what he should be doing. And then if you still can't get on board with that, he Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:16

And I and I the reason I say it comes in a way is like he definitely had his own version when he was, I think, two more close to two. We went through like that's his own stuff at that point, and then it kind of went away and got different and better, and but now like and then we had another kid, so had another kid, but then this like what you're saying, the the just turn off, like disregard for what's being said, and he does he's like he'll he's throwing stuff on the floor now, like he will do that if he doesn't do what he wants.

SPEAKER_02 32:44

Yes, he does.

SPEAKER_00 32:45

He doesn't kick and scream, but he'll just like fall to the floor, like in like in despair, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:49

He just like he can't handle it, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:53

Um so it is that's crazy. The second part of this though, like your own regulation. Oh, that's that's a fun one. Um is that that's a fun one because it's hard, like God definitely put us together for a reason. You know, like we've never talked about that, but like God put us to parent together for a reason.

SPEAKER_02 33:16

Like we both have who do y'all think regulates better? Who do y'all think can regulate and who do y'all think can't? I'll give you one hint. It ain't me. It ain't me.

SPEAKER_00 33:26

Um it is by far like having two hot heads as parents would be tough.

SPEAKER_02 33:35

Like not I think that would be hard as the parents. I'm not saying it would be like Yeah, no, not as the kids, not gonna hurt the kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not saying like their relationships. I'm saying that like you always know when to tap in and like when I need to tap out.

SPEAKER_01 33:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:54

And it doesn't happen as often for you, but like by the grace of God, when you need to tap out, I usually can come in.

SPEAKER_00 34:06

Like we're net we're usually both never.

SPEAKER_02 34:08

No, I can count on like let literally less than one hand. I can't even think of a specific circumstance in which we've both been like, no, no, no, I'm out. Or you're like, no, no, no, I'm out. Like we both need to.

SPEAKER_00 34:21

We're leaving.

SPEAKER_02 34:22

Figure it out by yourself. Yeah. Yeah, no. Um, I think that yeah. You I don't know. Like you you're I think I'm just really lucky that you're one of the most level-headed, calm people when it comes to that.

SPEAKER_00 34:40

Yeah, I wouldn't say lucky. I it just it is one of the things that I have my own demons, right? I have my own things that I struggle with. But like that is that is one that I don't struggle with, thankfully. Uh it's it's a huge blessing.

SPEAKER_02 34:53

Like you literally feel I feel like you lose it on Tate more than you do on Jack.

SPEAKER_00 34:59

Like, Tate makes me mad.

SPEAKER_02 35:02

And Tate never makes me mad. Like, I feel like the Okay, that's not true.

SPEAKER_00 35:07

Don't say that.

SPEAKER_02 35:07

No, no, no. I just mean in relation to like Jack gets under my skin.

SPEAKER_00 35:12

Because I appreciate like it's it's kind of hard for me.

SPEAKER_02 35:15

Oh, this is the worst. You're like creating this little monster.

SPEAKER_00 35:19

No, I'm not. I put it into it when he's gonna put an end to it.

SPEAKER_02 35:22

Like, I would we have so many conversations about this, so I'm just gonna We do not have so many conversations about this.

SPEAKER_00 35:28

What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_02 35:29

Yes, we do. About how I don't be doing that right now because he doesn't put an end to it at some point, like when it gets to the point where he is overdoing it.

SPEAKER_00 35:42

Because there are certain times that arguing and reasoning are two totally different things. He's not gonna argue with it.

SPEAKER_02 35:47

Just say what we're talking about.

SPEAKER_00 35:48

I want him to develop a form of reasoning, and I'm very passionate about that, and he does it very well. Very well, he does it very well, like that's not a like it to a fault sometimes, right? I want him to critically think, and I understand these three years old, I get it. Like he has to have some hard and fast. Hey, this is what I said this year.

SPEAKER_02 36:13

You run out the road because you're gonna get hit by a car. There's no reason you can't reason through that one with me about why you should think you should be able to run out.

SPEAKER_00 36:20

And we do that, and I do that. Don't act like I don't do that.

SPEAKER_02 36:22

No, I'm just saying that some months, but allowing it sometimes and not allowing it other times is hard for his little brain of like, why mom hurt me out? And she won't listen to me right now.

SPEAKER_00 36:35

Yeah, but I think we in I think you just need to like we need to do a better job explaining to him why. Like, that's a safety issue. Like when we say no, it means no. But like no, but listen.

SPEAKER_02 36:46

What you're saying is time to talk about it. There are times and there is no time.

SPEAKER_00 36:52

What you're saying is him coming back and arguing. I don't I don't ever want him to argue. If I tell him to do something, he argues with me every day, you do it. Like if I tell him to do something, then you do it. If he wants to be in the moment and asking why and why, like why we're doing things in a conversation setting.

SPEAKER_02 37:09

Never asking why.

SPEAKER_00 37:11

Exactly. Or something like that, we're working on something or we're going somewhere. Like, reason all you want. If I tell you to do something, you do it. Like that is, I'm not saying I want to embody that at all. Yeah, there's a difference, there's a very fine line there, and so we are like I don't have to figure it out. I I'm taking it one day at a time, right? Um, but tonight, like there's times where he just like he just acted out tonight, like and he got it was hard and fast. Like, nope, you're not getting this, you're getting to bed. And yeah, it is what it is.

SPEAKER_02 37:42

Well, he's three, he didn't get a nap. We're the parents, correct?

SPEAKER_00 37:46

Like, sometimes you just have to so I I get that, but what I just want like his imagination is growing rapidly. Oh so rapidly, rapid, like overnight, rapidly.

SPEAKER_02 37:57

What was he? Oh, but it's pop control. I was like thinking when we were like yesterday. So sorry. You know, it's it's so we're just at the place where it's like really fun to like just to listen to play. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:13

And and so like I don't want to do anything that crushes yeah, that crushes his inspiration and like his just creativity to go be a kid. Because like I don't like I don't remember that, and I don't I don't remember that as a kid. I don't remember being creative, I don't remember being I'm sure I was pretended and played.

SPEAKER_02 38:35

I'm sure I didn't did that.

SPEAKER_00 38:37

I'm sure I did that, yeah. I'm not saying my parents did anything wrong, I'm just like personality types could be different, but I would love to embody that older, like longer. Yeah, like don't take that from him early. Yeah, his pretend and correct, like let him let him go and learn and and like create. And so like that that's what good humans do. Like God created the earth very yeah, it's it's a beautiful place, right? Like he had a lot of creativity. Look at animals, look at how things work and function, and yeah, we were made in that image to create and correct. So like we should help embody that. And again, this is not me saying you you create some monster that just argues with you all the time. That's not what I mean. Um, and again, I don't have it figured out. I don't know that I'll have it. We'll ever have it figured out.

SPEAKER_01 39:22

We won't.

SPEAKER_00 39:23

And quite frankly, whatever no one has it figured out. That's what I that's what I really everyone needs to understand is like you could have done it one way and it may have worked for your you and your kids. It doesn't mean it's gonna work for someone else. Yeah, like I have firsthand examples of people, friends that we have that like we do one thing and they do one thing, and it works for us and it doesn't work for them. And it works for them, it doesn't work for us.

SPEAKER_02 39:48

There's a case in point of things that work, like there are things that worked for Jack that don't work for Tate. Correct, yeah, in your own family, same parents, different kids, like different responses.

SPEAKER_00 39:59

And so I don't want like I take advice from people all day long. I love to hear advice. Don't tell me what I should and shouldn't do about my kid, though. That's what I don't like, and I don't ever want anyone to think I'm telling them what they should do with their kids.

SPEAKER_01 40:15

So bold.

SPEAKER_00 40:16

It is bold, but I like it's the it's the same principle of like I try to take should out of my vocabulary. Because why why should I tell someone else what they need to do with their kids or anything in their life aside from getting saved? Like literally, that is the only thing on the planet that matters, is where you spend eternity. Like coming off the Easter weekend, that is the biggest thing that matters, right? The entire world operates based on that one thing, like that's why we're alive, yeah, right? And so that gets lost so much. That's the only thing that I should be like, okay, this is what you should or should not do, right? Now, of course, should you go murder somebody? Sure, don't go mort murder somebody, okay? We're not we're not getting into the weeds on that. But what I mean is like do I want you to raise a good human? Yeah, raise a good human. And do I think I have principles that may have worked for us that I think may work for you? Sure. I would love to tell you about those, but it's not me telling you you need to do this because that's on you, that's your own decision to make, right? You're raising your own kids. I it's not my job to raise your kids. And it's not your job to raise my kids.

SPEAKER_01 41:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:36

I want accountability, yeah. Like I and I want help. And again, this is me asking for help. This is me saying I take advice, but advice is not you should do this.

SPEAKER_02 41:47

It's you just you want people to talk to you, not at you. Correct. That's all you have to say.

SPEAKER_00 41:52

And I don't ever want to talk at people. Yeah. And I think that but the the world does that so much because they're so enthralled with them. We are so enthralled with ourselves.

SPEAKER_02 42:01

Yeah, feeling qualified.

SPEAKER_00 42:03

We know what we're doing and we have it figured out. Like, that's not the case. Yeah, it's literally not the case. And so I would just say that whoever take that for what you may, but for me, I I'm gonna always try to do my best of like this is what we've done, this is what we're doing, it's working, it's not working. I love advice. I love advice. But why are you shutting down? What am I saying? What am I saying that's contradictory or I'm not? No, I want give me some pushback here because I can tell you there's something. I'm not pushing back. There's something. You just don't want to say it.

SPEAKER_02 42:37

But there's not. I'm listening.

SPEAKER_00 42:40

And again, my kid ain't perfect. No, don't ever say that, right? Jack Jack is far from perfect. You will be around Jack and you'll hear him have a tantrum, you'll hear him have a he'll talk back, he'll argue. I I get all that, right? Like he'll say no, and I'm gonna handle it the best way that I handle it, know how to handle the time. Okay. Yeah. He's three, he's learning, figuring it out, we're learning it. It's our first time.

SPEAKER_02 43:00

First time parents over here.

SPEAKER_00 43:02

Like, it is what it is. Okay, first time parentheses. Not me saying we haven't figured out. Uh, but I think that's all. I don't know how we got circled around that, uh, from own from your own regulation, but regulating your own temperature is that's the hardest part. That's it's a big deal. That's the hardest part. Being able to and to like that's the hardest part, not blow up back at them. I think that's the hardest part. And just really just work together too, like, yeah, stay a united front uh when that stuff is happening. And I feel like that's gonna get harder. I feel like the united front is easier, probably, as they're young, and then as they get older, the united front is gonna kinda it's gonna kind of separate a little more because you're gonna start leaning a little bit more, they're gonna start having some more reason to themselves, and like bringing good points to the table, and you know, things are happening for reason. You're gonna start going one way, and the one of you may start. Going the other way. Again, I don't know that. I haven't been there yet, but I could just see that happening.

SPEAKER_02 44:06

So interesting to me because I never saw that. So like I don't even know if that was like I never my parents were always like so united that I never saw any like.

SPEAKER_00 44:18

Yeah, their ununitedness was always behind closed doors.

SPEAKER_02 44:21

Yeah, if there was like I mean I know there wasn't. Yeah, there's nothing there's not a question of if there was or I never saw it at all. Which is like I'm not gonna sit here and like go and all that, like thinking my parents did anything wrong. I'm just like, I just wonder, like, would I have benefited? I don't know. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I'm just thinking through that. Like, would I've not would I've benefited from like seeing that how that conversation would have worked. Like, do I wish that there were times that I could have seen my parents work through a disagreement? Yes, because I never saw that. Um I never ever saw my parents like work through a conflict or like something they did not start the conversation on the same page about. But I also think that in those moments that could have been them trying to like low-key protect themselves from me spotting like a weakness of me say, like, you know, if if it is about me, right? About the child and the they're going back and forth on why one thinks one and one thinks another, and I try to like bait the one that I feel like is taking my side. I like see a weak point, you know what I'm saying? Like, I don't know if they're preventing that. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 45:36

I think it definitely has like time and place for that too, and age is a is a thing.

SPEAKER_02 45:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:41

Um, when they can understand it, because like like for Jack right now, it's not good for him to see us argue, I don't believe, at this age.

SPEAKER_02 45:50

But I don't think it has to be an argument. I mean, I just mean like conversations of of like talking through things, like yeah, but if there's it any but there's we have argued in front of him, right?

SPEAKER_00 46:01

Like we have had conversations and voices have been raised, and it's never it's always just like he's just like he doesn't really do it anymore, but he's just like, guys, guys, guys, calm down.

SPEAKER_02 46:11

Yeah, he's like, guys, guys, guys, calm down.

SPEAKER_00 46:14

He doesn't really do it anymore. But um, I don't know, I don't think he's at the point where he can process, like, oh, they came to a resolution on this.

SPEAKER_02 46:23

No, and so all he's gonna think is you don't always think that he processes what we're even talking about.

SPEAKER_00 46:28

No, not every time, but I think he will start to process what he'll what conclusion he'll come to is oh, they're like voices got raised, voices are loud, something's not good. Like this this equals bad, you know, like very simple equation here. Yeah, loud voices, unhappy, right? Because then our mood changes, right? Right, and anything he does is gonna set us off quicker because yes, like we are not self-regulated well. Right? So, like he's gonna sense loud voices equals me do anything bad, right? Like that, and so that will play itself out, and I don't know. So I think the older you get, the more they can reason, the more they can understand, the more you can sit and explain and say, Hey, look, we did disagree on this, we sat, we talked, we like we heard both sides of this the story here, we worked through this and got a resolution. That's a good thing. Um, but that's just where I'm at now. So what are you looking at?

SPEAKER_02 47:24

I was looking at these other struggles. I don't feel like we really have much to say about these. None of them picky eating and mealtime.

SPEAKER_00 47:33

Yeah, luckily we've never had like Jackson, we have had super picky eaters.

SPEAKER_02 47:39

That's our hardest thing we deal with. That's our hardest thing, but other than that, I mean I feel like some of that's normal, some of that is consistency on our part. Yeah, and then screen time guilt. I don't really feel like we do that a ton. I think I did have a lot of guilt about that when Tate was really small when I was like literally surviving. Um, but we're pretty reserved on our overall amount of screen time that we do, I feel like.

SPEAKER_00 48:07

And all Jack's also at an age now where like it doesn't affect him the way that it does pre-threes.

SPEAKER_02 48:14

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 48:15

Like he's not he's out of that developmental stage.

SPEAKER_02 48:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:18

That developmental stage.

SPEAKER_02 48:20

Yeah, no, we we don't do it too much. Tate's still very heavy in it, and we Tate has like Tate's literally never watched TV. Yeah, I mean, we I think we jokingly have turned on Mickey Mouse like one time, yeah, two times maybe to see. It doesn't, and he does nothing, and we've turned on like baby Einstein's, he doesn't care, he literally doesn't care.

SPEAKER_00 48:36

Um Jack, on the other hand, watched quite a bit. Did watch um like some Miss Rachel type stuff, and I'll be interested to see with a third, like if we have a third kid and we go hard.

SPEAKER_02 48:47

I don't think we're gonna have time. The kid won't have time to watch anything.

SPEAKER_00 48:50

No, but like I'll be interested to see how they play out to look and be like, okay, here's two out of three that didn't watch. Here's one that's you know, like here's one that did, and even then you won't get real conclusive answers because like each kid's their own person, right? But it pattern recognition, that's my new like that's my favorite phrase right now is pattern recognition because you just start seeing things over and over again, or you see things like habits create and what the results of those are. And so I would be interested to see, like, okay, we have a we have a third kid, we don't do this, what are the changes? Right. Uh what's what are the similarities too? So yeah, yeah, nothing huge on that. Um we are the the the dinner table thing is one that I'm that's honestly probably one of my bigger challenges that I struggle with of how to discipline that. Yeah. Because and it's getting easier now as he gets older because he's getting older and understands more of like, hey, no, you don't get like it's just plain and simple, you don't get up. Right. But getting up to this point's been a little harder, like managing just what he can understand and can't understand, and yeah, and I think physically control himself.

SPEAKER_02 49:58

Like an aspect of it too is how often when we even when we are at home, but mainly when we're not at home, how often that time is spent around friends and other kids, and like trying to like balance this line of like trying to teach him that just because our friends are doing something doesn't mean we do, and like not controlling other people's kids, but also not letting that waver discipline, but then also not being like, what are the hills that we die on with him? Of like what can we say yes to sometimes, you know, that that's such a a sticky thing sometimes, especially when other families and other kids are involved. I this is not any me saying that anybody has done anything wrong in any capacity, but if it's different than what you're telling your kid to do, then it comes across they don't understand that they see a kid and think, well, he's doing it, why can't I do it?

SPEAKER_00 50:51

Right type thing, right? Right. She's doing it, why can't I do it? Right.

SPEAKER_02 50:54

And so then it's this whole weird thing, and then sometimes it's weird with the parents because it's like, oh, that's incredible. Because like I let my kid do that at home, so it's not fair to not let them hear.

SPEAKER_00 51:02

But I think that comes back to like the and you just tie that in totally randomly, but it comes back to what I was saying earlier. Like, again, you parent your kid and I'm gonna parent mine in a sense. Yeah, like yeah, I respect how you parent.

SPEAKER_02 51:16

The logistics sometimes are confusing, right?

SPEAKER_00 51:18

It is, it is which doesn't which makes it hard, but like it is it is just plain and simple. I'm gonna do what I can to to parent my kid the way that we believe that it needs to be parented, right? That is a decision that Savannah and I make, right? And I and I would just say that for anybody out there that is in that setting of like you do what needs to be done, and guess what? The world will tell you how your kid turns out, right? Who is like it it is very bold and it's very harsh to say, right? But if your kids, if you're not doing something right, your kid will let it show, and people will not want to be around your kid. It just is what it is. That's a hard thing to comprehend, but it is. If if we do something terribly wrong in Jack and we cannot discipline him over the course of the next five to ten years, right? And we cannot control him, and there's no other underlying circumstances, right? It is just a thing where you don't want to go like people be like, hey, that like that's not we're not gonna go hang around them that much because they're bad influences on my kids. Yeah, it's just what it is. It no one wants to say that, right? I'm I'm not afraid to say that because I'm not adding anyone, I'm just saying everyone deals with that. That is just the world in general. If you're going out in public and you see some random kid that's throwing himself down in the middle of the store or acting out or doing whatever, and and throwing himself down in the middle of the store is kind of a bad bad example because every kid's gonna do that at some point in life. Right. But if it's repetitive, right? You're it you're in and around someone or a family or a kid, whatever. And again, there's no underlying circumstances here, but it's just repetitive over and over and over, and just disobedience and bad attitudes, and just just overall, they're not growing and evolving as good humans, then you will naturally spend less time around them because it is your job to create and raise good humans, it's that simple. And I love everyone, I love everyone and everyone's kids. It doesn't make me love you any less, but as adults, if you have people in your life or out or in in circles that do things differently than you do, you don't generally go hang out with them that much. Like you generally go and do different things and go find people that are more your speed. Am I right or wrong in saying that?

SPEAKER_01 53:45

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:46

Right? Take kids out of the out of the equation for a minute. Just adults. If they do something that you agree with versus don't agree with, who are you gonna go hang out with?

SPEAKER_02 53:56

Yeah, I can get or saying the ones you agree with.

SPEAKER_00 53:58

Yeah, right? And so why why are you acting like this?

SPEAKER_02 54:03

I'm not. I'm listening.

SPEAKER_00 54:05

You don't do you not agree with what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02 54:07

I do.

SPEAKER_00 54:08

But what?

SPEAKER_02 54:09

There's no but it's bold. No, I don't I'm just listening.

SPEAKER_00 54:13

Am I being too harsh? If I'm being too harsh, I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_02 54:16

I'm just not sure how we got here. It's really just took like a turn.

SPEAKER_00 54:20

Because I I just I just think that that like it's just hard for me. It's hard for me to watch so many people in the world, and kids are just the subject matter right now. The deeper root of the issue is so many people in the world love telling other people what they should and shouldn't do.

SPEAKER_02 54:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:42

That's the that's the deeper root of this. The kids are the subject matter in this conversation. I just really struggle with that of you should do this and you shouldn't do that. And I think there's deep-rooted stuff there for me for different reasons. And so this is just where it's rearing its head in this conversation. Uh, but I don't know. Raise good human, that's all I can say. Like, I'm gonna do my best to raise good humans. I'm not gonna say I'm gonna get right. You may not come hang around me. That's okay. You may think our kids are bad. If you see our kids and we're not gonna spend time around them, they kind of are. That's okay. I accept that.

SPEAKER_02 55:20

We're doing our best.

SPEAKER_00 55:21

We are doing our best, and you're doing your best, right? Raising your kids. Right. This isn't me telling you you're doing a bad job. Because again, I don't have it figured out. I will you will never, ever, ever hear me say on this show, on the Growing Green podcast, any other anywhere, say or talk about things that I don't know about. You won't hear me talk about raising a teenager right now. Because have I raised a teenager? Never have. Right. And so you won't hear me talk about those things. You're not gonna hear me tell me, you're not gonna hear me say that I haven't figured out how to raise a toddler. I'm telling you in the moment what's happening, and it's just it just is what it is. It's just real life. So anyway, if I offend anybody, I apologize. But in in the same sense, like I don't take back anything that I said because I believe that it's all true and it's all real, and I'm gonna do my best to raise kids that grow up to be respectful of adults, be respectful of other children as they grow up, and turn into humans who live like Christ. Like that is literally what our job here is. Share the gospel, raise good humans. We do that, we're winning. Like we are winning. And so that's my challenge to you. However, that is for you, whatever that looks like, you go do that and decide that on your own. But there's no question that you're called here to raise a Christ in her family. That is biblical, it's the foundation of the world. There's no going back on that. Raising good humans, you pick what that looks like. For me, it's respect, and it is growing up to be more Christ-like. So anyway, uh, that was hot and heavy for 40 minutes. Um Savannah usually crawls into rocks when I get under these conversations, especially when we do it in person. She has nowhere to go or talk to right now. She just has to sit and just sit and take it. So um, if you if you're watching this on YouTube, you probably saw a lot of facial expressions from her that you wouldn't normally see. But that's okay. You can watch us on YouTube on cultivated podcasts on YouTube. Uh go subscribe there. Still no studio, still rocking the solo, little two little chairs and and mic setups. We'll get there one day. But uh we're we're excited and continue to do this. These are the like, believe it or not, these are the kind of conversations if you can't tell they get me fired up. Like, these are the ones that I think move the needle the most. Because huh?

SPEAKER_01 57:58

So I couldn't tell.

SPEAKER_00 57:59

It's the things that no one wants to talk about. It's literally the things that no one wants to talk about that matter the most because everyone that has a kid thinks these things. You can't say you don't. Everyone has a kid, thinks these exact things, and I want to make sure that we're doing the best we can to address those things. So, anyway, you guys have a great week. I am super appreciative for you coming and hanging out with us here today for almost an hour. Uh, smooth week ahead for us, nothing crazy, doing a little bit of traveling, and uh, we'll be back ready to go. You got a big trip next week that we will preview. And you're heading sunny south and uh get some miles in along the way. So super excited for the weeks and years to come here on Cultivated and what that all looks like. Uh, couldn't do without you guys. If you speak Faster Interview, if you don't mind, those help us grow the show. We will come to you next week here for another fresh new episode on Monday. Thank you for tuning in. We'll catch you here on the next one. See you guys.