This is The Most Important Thing Your Spouse Can Give You in The Beginning

In this episode of Cultivated, Jeremiah and Savannah reconnect after a busy couple of weeks, diving into Savannah’s recent trip to Orlando for a Disney 10K race. They share the reality of taking on a physical challenge without perfect preparation, the value of pushing through anyway, and the fun that came with the experience. The conversation also touches on the behind-the-scenes of travel logistics, the trade-offs between convenience and cost, and how different seasons of life shape those decisions. Along the way, Jeremiah brings his perspective from holding things down at home, adding a relatable look at balancing family and personal pursuits. It’s a light, honest conversation about effort, exhaustion, and enjoying the moments in between. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

What's going on everybody? Thank you for tuning in to the episode of the day here on Cultivated. This is your host, Jeremiah Jennings, and I'm joined with my beautiful co-host Savannah, who always joins me for the most part.

SPEAKER_02 0:10

There was been some shows over the years where you have Yeah, but not this show. And this show, uh if m memory serves, you haven't joined me.

SPEAKER_00 0:21

Oh yeah. Yeah. That's how it goes.

SPEAKER_02 0:23

That's how it's gone. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:24

Yeah, man, it has been a while for me because two weeks ago you did women's solo show. We missed last week. We missed last week. I was recovering. You were in survival mode last week.

SPEAKER_02 0:36

I was. I was recovering.

SPEAKER_00 0:37

Where did you go? You had a big week.

SPEAKER_02 0:39

We did. We had a fun week. I got to go to Orlando with some friends, and as fun of a trip as it was, it was not a super like physically restful trip. Uh we had, I mean, every morning was a very early morning and lots of physical activity and up and going and late nights, and it was very fun. But by the time I got home on Sunday, gosh, I was dead. And think about going back into the week. I was just like, we have to prioritize some some rest here.

SPEAKER_00 1:10

So there just was not physically a time for us to because you left on Thursday and you went to where did you go?

SPEAKER_02 1:17

Orlando. I said that.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:18

Yeah. Orlando. For a I went specifically for a 10K that um a c a few of us ran.

SPEAKER_00 1:29

Just a 10K, by the way.

SPEAKER_02 1:30

It's just a 10K. Just a 10K. Um only six miles. That is not how I genuinely felt about it, by the way. I prior to this race, um, I had never run six miles in my life. I'd never run five miles in my life. I'd barely I've run four miles in my life one time, and that was walk run intervals. So I had never before done anything like this. Um, but my friend and I decided this was a good decision. Gosh, last summer when we signed up. It was last summer, and we were like, oh yeah, it'll be plenty of time. We'll train. We'll love it. We'll be like, we had both like re relatively recently had a baby when we signed up, and we're like, we'll be feeling good. Like it'll be, you know, this is like almost a year away, like whatever. Well, this time comes and the training just did not happen. So we were just like fully prepared to just wing it and see how it went. And we did it, and we ran the whole thing and felt great, and it was so much fun. Like, couldn't be more glad that we did that.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

Disney's got it figured out, folks.

SPEAKER_02 2:32

Yes, it was a Disney run. We I don't know if I said that it was Disney.

SPEAKER_00 2:35

So, you know, anything with the word Disney in it.

SPEAKER_02 2:37

That was the thing. I was like, it's gonna be in Disney, it's gonna be so fun.

SPEAKER_00 2:41

Yeah, Disney's a great business model. We're gonna charge you $150 to come run here, and then you're gonna pay us to then come to the park here. That was our biggest thing to stay here, and then we're all talking about it. Spend all this money here, like it's just a g it's an ingenious thing.

SPEAKER_02 2:57

But you know what? They didn't get us because we didn't stay there. We didn't go to their park.

SPEAKER_00 3:01

You didn't stay there. Some of your group went to the park one day, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:05

But um, we were all talking about that. How kind of crazy it is that they don't even give you any sort of like discount on a park day. Because you know what? They would have, I think, I think they would get more of your money. Because like we didn't even go to the park, like we were.

SPEAKER_00 3:20

They would get more of your money if they gave you a discount.

SPEAKER_02 3:22

If they gave you a slight discount, because we would have gone. I'm telling you.

SPEAKER_00 3:26

Well, I can assure you they've done studies on it on psychologically to know like whether that would work or not. And the pros have said it wouldn't work. Because if it did, they would 100%.

SPEAKER_02 3:35

I don't know. I don't know. I'm telling you, well, they they lost out on our money.

SPEAKER_00 3:40

So promise you they have majority, majority rules there.

SPEAKER_02 3:43

But isn't that nuts though? That you do like you pay for the race and then you get no like incentive, like no discount, nothing to anything Disney, none of their parks, nothing.

SPEAKER_00 3:54

And everyone still does it. Genius business model. Yeah, it's that simple.

SPEAKER_02 3:58

They're making their money, it's that simple.

SPEAKER_00 4:00

You're not gonna not go because you didn't get a discount, like that's the thing. Well, we didn't, but you're not gonna not do the race, you'll they'll at least get your money to the race, yeah. Like, yeah, it's not uh just because they don't give you a discount on the parks. Any that way anything anybody that do get to the park, they're just making the full profit on the thing when they would.

SPEAKER_02 4:16

So well, yeah, you're not long there.

SPEAKER_00 4:18

Anyway, that was but you were up early, right? Like 3 30 or something like that?

SPEAKER_02 4:22

Yeah, it was like here, like at home, you know, we hadn't really adjusted like time-wise, but like here it was a 2 a.m. alarm.

SPEAKER_01 4:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:30

So, but we set our alarms for three, and by 3 20 a.m. I was like covered in glitter and my hair was braided, and we were in our little outfits with our bibs on and ready to go.

SPEAKER_00 4:41

You wore bib to the race?

SPEAKER_02 4:43

Yeah, that's what it's called. You can tell we're a bunch of runners over here. I know it's what yeah, you just wanted to get a reaction out of that. That was good. I almost it almost pulled me. It almost pulled out. When I was saying bib, I was like, he's gonna say something stupid about a bib. Like that really didn't run through my head, it all happened that fast. But um, yeah, you know what a bib is.

SPEAKER_00 5:06

Yeah, we have three of them for our toddler.

SPEAKER_02 5:08

No, a race bib. Anyways, and we went, and then what was the wildest thing? So I had that three of them alarm we had to be there by 4 30, and then I didn't start running until like gosh, it was after six.

unknown 5:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:22

Why did you say why did you get up at three if you didn't have to be there until 4 30? Y'all stayed 10 minutes away from the place.

SPEAKER_02 5:28

Um, well, we wanted to be there, I think I don't remember now that you say this, I'm like, I don't really remember. I think we wanted to leave by 3 45 to get there at 4. I think 4 30 was like the latest we needed to be there. And I do remember that for everyone that really cares, which is nobody, we had to walk a good way. It's like from where we parked, and then we had to go through security, and then we had to get all the way over to where the where the starting line was. And there was like a good bit of stuff to do, and so like, you know, we want to make sure we had time to like go to the bathroom or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 6:00

So well, I went full Mr. Mom mode while Savannah was living our best life down in Orlando.

SPEAKER_02 6:05

I also got to go to Universal, that was very fun. So go shopping, it was a fun girl's trip. You got to fly, you didn't have to drive it, and we flew it, which is so funny because there's no way we could have driven home. Like, I I would have been dead. I was so tired. Oh my gosh, yeah. I don't know how it would have been.

SPEAKER_00 6:23

It's just so like it there's no words for the difference in the value in flying down there. Like, used to when we started flying down there, you could fly to you. There's one Southwest is the only airline that flies direct from Birmingham down there. Yeah, it's like an hour flight, and it's really the only one that's really worth it because yeah, if you have to connect in Atlanta or connect in Dallas, like it makes no sense. You're just driving. But Southwest will fly direct, and you used to get a disflight for 125 bucks. Like it was cheap, cheap.

SPEAKER_02 6:53

Right.

SPEAKER_00 6:54

Um, but now they're closer to 250 to 300.

SPEAKER_02 6:58

Still, though, the value is pretty it's pretty good because I feel like it's less and less now that like the Orlando airport is nuts.

SPEAKER_00 7:06

Like, yeah, it's busy, but still, you're there in you're there in 50 minutes.

SPEAKER_02 7:10

But you're renting a car, like they're just so much, it's just such an ordeal. And you know, you can sit here and argue like all that time, you're still stage of life, like whatever.

SPEAKER_00 7:20

Oh, that has a lot to do with it.

SPEAKER_02 7:22

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like with Jack, I would do it. But Jack and Tate, I'm like, oh. But then you kind of argue that having your own car in your own space.

SPEAKER_00 7:30

Yeah, having your own car is definitely we we if you remember last year, if you listened to the Girning Green show last year, when we went to Disney, we got the best of both worlds because we flew. Oh, yeah, and we got to have our car. Yeah, that changed everything. Yeah, um, that was sweet.

SPEAKER_02 7:45

I totally forgot we had our car. I was thinking back as I was there this past time because we had not flown here since we went last January. And I was like, I don't even remember being here like at the airport or anything with Jack. Like, I don't remember it well at all, but I had totally forgotten that like my brother and sister-in-law drove our car down there so that we would have it riding around, and then they drove it home and we flew home.

SPEAKER_00 8:11

Just not having to worry about rental car logistics and like keeping it clean, something getting spilled in it, like I don't even remember how we got to the house. Your parents rented a car.

SPEAKER_02 8:20

My parents flew. I forgot my parents flew. That was the biggest thing. My parents flew, my parents rented a car. Correct. That's what it was. I remember now. Yep. So, anyways, it was a great time, but we were exhausted.

SPEAKER_00 8:34

Let's not overlook the most important part of this trip.

SPEAKER_02 8:37

So sorry.

SPEAKER_00 8:38

Yeah, Jeremiah survived. Mr. Mom mode over here. Mr. Mom.

SPEAKER_02 8:41

Um no one died.

SPEAKER_00 8:43

No one died.

SPEAKER_02 8:44

Somebody was sick. That was okay. Jack.

SPEAKER_00 8:48

Oh, he had an ear infection. I don't want to consider that sick, but yeah. He wasn't like puking anywhere.

SPEAKER_02 8:54

No, but gosh, he's unwell.

SPEAKER_00 8:55

Yeah, he'll hear.

SPEAKER_02 8:56

We had a kid with an ear infection, they're unwell.

SPEAKER_00 8:58

Yeah, yeah. They were he was definitely a little whiny. But my claim to fame is we made it through Thursday to Sunday with no timeouts.

SPEAKER_02 9:09

And yeah, if you're a mom, it's like, right, you just don't even tell me that. Like, just don't even tell me that. You're just gonna piss me off.

SPEAKER_00 9:16

I told Savannah that she said, Why why? Why would you say that?

SPEAKER_02 9:19

Why don't you why do you have to tell me that? Like, wow, okay. So basically I need to move to Orlando.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

Well, because I literally didn't even think I literally didn't even think about it until we were like having the conversation. It I hadn't even processed that it actually happened, but right.

SPEAKER_02 9:33

I really am happy for you.

SPEAKER_00 9:35

Yeah, it was hey, I'm I'm happy for me. Like, made it a little more smooth um for sure.

SPEAKER_02 9:40

And it was a crazy weekend. Like you had a t ball practice, he had his first t-ball game.

SPEAKER_00 9:45

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, let's let's talk about that real quick. Okay. Managing three-year-old, a three-year-old, not a five-year-old, a three-year-old, and ten other three-year-olds.

SPEAKER_02 9:57

Let's let's preface, like, let's let the people know. You had a lot of help. You had we had multiple friends all.

SPEAKER_00 10:03

Debatable, but yes.

SPEAKER_02 10:05

Hey, they were helpful.

SPEAKER_00 10:06

It was the per the per the but the premise is showed up, got a three-year-old through his first t-ball game with a one-year-old.

SPEAKER_02 10:15

With both sets of our parents there.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

Both of our one-year-old for a good chunk of it.

SPEAKER_02 10:21

Both sets of our parents this game. They did help, yes. Multiple friends at this game that were very helpful. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 10:27

I had plenty of help. Yes. Still, come on. So let's not.

SPEAKER_02 10:31

Yeah, I'm giving you all the pats, but you're not giving your your your people pats.

SPEAKER_00 10:35

Yeah, they did good. They hey, they helped a lot. I cannot have done without them. Yes. Jack, I spent the night with Ryan.

SPEAKER_02 10:40

You give me some pats.

SPEAKER_00 10:41

Uh I You did prep everything.

SPEAKER_02 10:43

Everything was prepped down to the hour. Yeah. But it was a good time. That was my first time.

SPEAKER_00 10:50

That was a team effort.

SPEAKER_02 10:51

Very much so team effort. That was my first time leaving both boys like that for like any sort of trip or anything.

SPEAKER_00 10:59

So you'd go you'd been gone overnight, but not.

SPEAKER_02 11:02

Yeah, I think I'd just gone for one night. Like, gosh, and that I didn't even do that until a month ago. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:09

There was no other one?

SPEAKER_02 11:10

I don't think so. The concert.

unknown 11:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:14

Yeah, back in October. Yeah, that was the first time. Yeah. Anywho, but yes, we have recovered. Kind of.

SPEAKER_00 11:21

Yeah, a little bit. Um thing, one way that we're kind of we haven't even really talked about this that much, but like our life is dynamic has changed a little bit the last little last couple weeks, really since we've done it since I've been on the show, is my role in work has changed a little a little bit, uh kind of dramatically. Um my day-to-day has changed a lot. We lost our uh one of our landscape foremans and or our landscape foreman, uh not role. Yeah. And so that was that was my role previous to him. And so I was mainly in a sales and estimations role uh when he was on. And now with him gone, I'm kind of thrown back into the field. Um that's the that is the thing about running a small business, is even having five to ten people, you're still one call away, one mistake away, one injury away, one quit away from like being thrown back into the fire a little bit. And uh this one, this one is it's been interesting. It it I'm excited for what it's gonna do for us, but it is taking it's taking me back to like 2022 time, 2023 time, like back when Jack was was young. Okay, um, because I got I removed myself from the landscape field in 2023 for the most part. And then had not and then I've been in and out since then. Um there's been times where I've been heavy, been times where I've been not heavy at all, but now we're back pretty heavy, and so it's it's changing, like our dynamics changing, my day-to-day is different. Uh I I had some more freedom when we were doing, I was in like that sales decimation role a little bit as far as just like day-to-day schedule goes, but now it's like, hey, I'm in production role, so it's I'm out the door at seven, crews are rolling out, I'm rolling out with them. Uh, you know, and getting out of the door managing those logistics and things has been a a change. And also, I think the biggest change is I'm doing a lot more nighttime work now than I had been, which is an adjustment. Um for sure. Because again, production roll all day.

SPEAKER_02 13:32

The other stuff still has to get done.

SPEAKER_00 13:34

The other stuff still has to get done. So it's back to like, oh man, okay, that forgot what this was like a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 13:38

Yeah, it's a grind.

SPEAKER_00 13:39

Yeah, it is. Um we've done a pretty good job, I feel like. Like we haven't I don't think we have any real like arguments about it or anything. I think that a lot of it hopefully is because you realize that like this is just it's just where we're at right now. Like nobody wants to be in this situation. 100%.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

I think time has been a gift to us, at least in this situation. Like I have perspective now that I didn't have three years ago as far as like, you know, maybe a couple things. Like one, this I know this isn't forever. Like I I know that this will not it will not be this way all the time. Um that it is just a season. And two, like, I'm hopeful that there's just been like some overall maturity. Like, I kind of just even though it sucks, it's like, no, this this just is what it is. Like, yes, this is where we're at, this is what we're doing. These things have to get done regardless of whether or not we want them to. Like, it all feels a little more real, a little more heavy now, maybe that we have two kids. Like, this isn't just like, oh, I want attention anymore. This is like, no, these things matter for like the overall well-being of our home. And like, while yes, it's tiring, and like I was joking around with like somebody a couple weeks ago. We were talking about like silly, like when when you go to bed, like husbands and wives, like if you go to bed together or not. And um, I have a really good friend that works night shift, and so she was talking about how like it's their normal to not go to bed together.

SPEAKER_01 15:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:15

But I was like, no, like we try to go together, go to bed together every night. But then I was sat there and thought about it, and I was like, honestly, though, like the past few weeks have been so all over the place, like we have not. I'm not saying that that's something that like you've gotten bad at. I'm just saying that is like a that's just the logistics of it right now. That's just a logistic or like a small like thing that's affected that affects us and our marriage, like day to day by what's going on right now in the business. So it's like, does that I think two, three years ago, like that would have really upset me, like consistently us not going to bed together, because that's just something that we care about. But now it's like it's not that I don't care anymore, but it's like there I think I've just accepted and have learned like there's no point in me getting upset about this or or her trying to start anything about this or or making you feel bad about this, like it just doesn't solve it nothing good comes from it, yeah. Right, right. And so um I don't know. And I think that I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 16:19

I just so yeah, my thing with that is like that is a hundred percent true. I I will back up and say three years ago, yes, you you definitely got upset. Uh and this now, like it's not been an issue, which is like I'm super thankful for. Uh, because it again, I want nothing more than to be able to go to bed together, right? But that's just not the it's just not the it's a matter of fact, it's not where we're right now, right? So I would say like let's go back to three years ago, right? Knowing what you know now, being in what you know now, and feeling what you feel now, like give some insight and some I don't know, t talk to that person, that spouse who maybe like they're in the beginning, right? They're they're in that year one, two, three when this is every night, right? Right. Like when I first started in 2020 when we got married, like this was all the time.

SPEAKER_01 17:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:11

This was all the time. You we got honestly, we were kind of blessed because you're working nights that first year.

SPEAKER_02 17:17

Well, and when I wasn't working nights, I was working until like that 11 p.m. Yeah. That evening shift. So, like so it didn't matter. We did our share of not going to bed together, like correct. And I think you know what, like as we sit here and reflect, I I think that that's why it started to matter to us so much. Like, yeah, I remember when I stopped going doing that evening shift, like that was part of it, like we can go to bed together every night. Like, because we were so inconsistent with that for the first couple years of marriage. Like, I think that was why we wanted to do that, and that's why it became so hard when like that shift happened, you know, after Jack was born or 2020, you know, whenever that was. But um I don't know. It it is so hard to like fully wrap your brain around things and fully grasp them as somebody that's like in it, hearing it from somebody that's gone through it, because I think that it it's like I don't know, it's just hard when you're in that for the first time to be able to do that.

SPEAKER_00 18:21

Yeah, but I will tell you, but you didn't have anyone telling you that they've been through it.

SPEAKER_02 18:25

I just I guess I'm just putting back in those shoes of like Yeah, so like I feel like I can sit here. You should speak very directly to those people and be like I just remember being like, yeah, that's great for you, that turned out okay, but that doesn't mean it's going to for me. Like I I had a I had a very hard time, uh, which just like also just probably had to do overall, like where I was in my like walk and my heart and like things I was going through. But um I think what I would say to myself and to you like you know, not necessarily to you, but like about you, is like I I remember just feeling and have learned like you you didn't need how to say this, like I I was supposed to be the one person that like no matter what wasn't gonna make you doubt yourself or like question why you're doing what you were doing. And anytime like me nagging at you or like making you feel guilty was not me like lifting you up or encouraging you or pushing you to keep going. And so when I realized that like that was the effect that that had on you, and not, and I don't even know that you've ever come out and said that to me, but like I you can just tell, like I there's just some conviction. I was like, this is not uplifting to you in any way. I think that was one factor of like, no, like my role as a wife is like not to cause you to feel any guilt or like um for for you to to feel bad.

SPEAKER_00 20:04

And you say role as a wife, that's just role as a spouse, by the way, right? Yeah, that that's totally interchangeable.

SPEAKER_02 20:10

But just like if that's not a wife that like is it like supports you, like right, but the that's your husband as your husband used to be the same way to your wife.

SPEAKER_00 20:18

Yes, don't don't get that twisted.

SPEAKER_02 20:19

No, not at all. But like my role as a wife to support you and your god given role as a husband to like provide for our family, yeah. Like those like I'm to be like that. I feel not that being a supportive husband is not a god given role, but I'm like to be like your aide and your helper and like love you and push you and encourage you in that way, and like that was the opposite of what I was doing. So some of that, like conviction, some of that also is just like I just think that I would tell somebody you you you just can't give up on them. Like, and I and I think that again, that's something that I can sit here and say with time, right? Because we talked a lot about that in the beginning, how like I just needed time, like not that I didn't believe in you or that I didn't want you to succeed, but with just some things that like I probably struggle with more with like being nervous and anxious, especially we talk about like money and is this all gonna work out, and like where are we even going and what is this all for? Like I needed to see it happen, like we need I needed some time to get under our belt. And so I just also want to encourage anybody that like maybe feels that way that there's nothing there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that. Like, I you not everybody's born with this like super optimistic go-getter, like everything's gonna be fine attitude, like and and that's like opposites attract. Yeah, yeah, they do. Um, I feel the need to say that those things are very different than like our faith that we talk about, because for long time I like use that to justify like lack of faith in certain areas so very different very different but as far as just like business late nights all those things that come into play it's okay to feel like you need some time under your belt to be like fully woohoo this is this is it this is what we're doing this is so fun and like even we're only six years in like we're talking six years into our life like our life as a married couple that own a business and like have this relatively unconventional way of providing for our family and creating a life for ourselves like there's I I'm just now starting to accept that like I I don't think that there will ever be a point that we're just like we sit back kick our feet up and we're like we don't care about anything and I you disagree at me I'm listening. I can wait to see where it goes I just think that like learning to accept that there will always be a degree of uncomfortable will give you so much like peace even in these seasons. Like these seasons of like things are uncomfortable right now like this is not rocking my world the way it would have three years ago. Yeah because with time I've learned that like hey this is just our life like this is part of it yeah this is part of it and that's okay like this is what we signed up for and but like you just I just have to pair that with like my faith in Christ and like knowing that this is not our end all be all like our life is so much bigger than just cutting grass and you having to go out and have late nights there's so much more that goes into play.

SPEAKER_00 23:54

So like well there's a lot more impact happening too yeah in different ways what I would say to the like it's okay to feel that way is it's okay to feel that way until you start acting negatively towards your spouse. Right that's when it becomes a problem. Yeah and like that was that that was very I don't we've never even talked about this on air like it was it was hard like it was a hard couple years of the very beginning right when you were stressed about a lot of things and I think it was just everything is unconventional to the way you've been brought up we've talked about that a lot on the we've been very open about that right yeah uh just very very different and so it was a lot it it was a lot of building trust right that's what a lot of time was yeah but in that right like and from from the person who's building the business right is like as that role as the wife the supporter that there is no there is no more important role to your husband than that right like there is no more important especially in this like especially in this season right and I was not always perfect right I I didn't do a lot of things right during that time of like talking and communicating through what we were doing and set kiss like casting the vision and telling what was happening and making sure that you felt like you were taken care of in your ways like I was not perfect in all that right you said you have said openly like you weren't perfect in support and things like that. Right that is very hard right it's very hard on the person who is trying to build the thing yeah the one person that yeah they should be able to turn to right also doubts them. Yeah right and we got over the you I would you never doubted me that's the don't the humor say that right there was never any doubt there was never anything like that. It was more of just like a a nervousness an anxiousness yeah uh an unsettleness well it was just like when is this gonna be worth it like yeah that type of feeling of like I'm really trying to be bought in but like I'm gonna need to see something you know or I'm gonna need to feel this like sense of the money thing early on is very hard too right like when when your husband comes and tells you how about you spend $15,000 on a lawnmower you're like what come again wait wait we don't have that yeah like where are you getting that and that's a hard one too right because a lot of the like dude when you're young you're just building a business you're trying to you're proving yourself to everyone right you're proving yourself to yourself you're proving yourself to the bank uh to your dealers to your to everyone to your family to your dealers and and like to your spouse at the at the end of the day but like when you sign up to marry someone who's gonna run and build a small business you sign up for that support and if you can't give that support you need to really rethink what you're doing if you're not married yet and if you are married you need to really take a step back and look I was like what do I need to change because yeah and again I'm not saying that the the the dude building the business is perfect right I was not perfect no but I can tell you right now I can like pull people out of my head names that have gone through and are going through this right now like with support from spouses and feeling negative like hearing negative thoughts and and not being able to you know like is it gonna be worth it and they're killing themselves they're working they're like they're trying right yeah and uh like that negativity just has to leave yeah well because I just like as we talk about this support and whatever like I just feel like I don't like to to talk about this as in like it's better different or whatever than than other married couples but there is a part of me that sits here and like reflects and thinks about just like the differences of of owning your own like building a business not even owning a business because that's a lot building a business by yourself not not by yourself as in like you don't have support and like people giving you insight but like you don't have anybody else is like that is a different level of belief in someone and support than it is just like I you want to get this promotion like you want to do this hard job.

SPEAKER_02 28:21

And I'm not like diminishing the the people that work hard at their jobs by any stretch or like what it takes them to get to where they are but like or the the people that like go work for a company like at all like you people that like spend years to get their degrees or like you know they support their spouse through school like I'm not that those are very hard come on guys you've listed long enough you know that don't get caught up in the weeds there we're we're supporting you we're not saying we're right right right but I'm talking like very specifically to people that are young and married and that they are building a a fresh business that it's it's really hard. This is not the same way of just like I love you have a great day like I'll see you at dinner it's gonna be great like I mean you are in the mud like I mean like not even in the trenches like you're in the slop. You're down below that like it is it is so different and you it can feel so isolating because it's not the same thing as your friends' husbands that go to work and they get home at five and then they shut their laptop and they have dinner together and play a game or watch a show and go to bed. Like it is a different life like a hundred percent and again I don't think that makes us better than anybody I don't think that makes it just makes you different it just is different. And I but I will say that though because I do think that that level of support and encouragement it is it's another level and I think it matters that much more because of what they're doing day in day out alone because the weight of the like I I just can't fathom the difference that that feels of like you don't just show up for work and if you get fired I mean yeah technically you could go get a job somewhere like if you walk away from your job you have something to fall back on and you can get a job within two weeks. Like if like every single day that you wake up you are solely responsible for especially yeah like it is everything is on you all the time and so to be married to somebody that is walking through that like I do wish I would have been more prepared or like felt more prepared for what that was going to look like on a daily basis because I obviously we talked about that like fell short in many ways still do but I think it could have been much better for us like in our early early years if I had more perspective on the impact of my support to you.

SPEAKER_00 30:57

Yeah and and and the same the same thing goes for the for the guy that's building the business and this again it's totally interchangeable if the if your wife is building the business you need to be supporting her the same way they were talking about spam supporting me right like it's the same thing. But the same thing goes that if you're not getting that support now and you don't know what that feels like then like you don't know any different you're just you just feel like why am I doing this every day right um I would say like you staying home from work has created a lot of good it's created challenges yes it's created a lot of learning curves a lot of hard conversations a lot of hard realizations yes um it's created a lot of things right but I think definitely more good than bad first off definitely more good than bad yeah um that is when I believe we had the biggest shift in like why like why this like one your support for what I'm doing but then two like what like why I'm doing what I'm doing like yeah we're doing what like I'm going to work every day and trying to build this thing so that we so like you get to you get to help build a family yeah right like guys it oh this is this can go so many different ways and I don't want to get caught up in this go do any research and and and we're not I'm not even gonna talk about what we're doing for school yet that's I don't I don't know right I we're not there yet we're not there yet I will tell you this because it's just facts based the current school system the way that it's this today was created in an age where we were raising kids that needed to go work in factories. We needed industry workers in factories right go look it up go do all the research on it it's there I promise you that's what the that's how the current education the education system was built one teacher in front of a class teaching all the same curriculum they get up they raise they go year over year grade after grade they graduate they go work in factories right that is what happened go look it up that's not me just having a biased opinion on it you staying home for me for us was a very conscious effort to say okay I'm devoting a lot of time and a lot of energy into building this business that is different it's hard uh but it's going I want to afford us some opportunities right this is one of those opportunities to where you get to stay home doesn't come without its own challenges by the way right um having multiple toddlers at home to manage all day by yourself hey Savannah can tell you some Savannah can tell you some stuff right like it's not easy yeah um it has afforded you the opportunity to do that to be a full-time mother role yeah to not have to send our kids to daycare to not have to send our kids into the into the school system if we don't want to and that time comes um because that's just what I'm that's what we're passionate about and we took that upon ourselves and made the decision together and there was a lot of I'll never I'll the conversation that always comes back to me the most is coming home from a quip that's the one that I always think of the most and like I think it was 2020 was this five four four no no it would have been twenty three yeah exile left in twenty four twenty two or twenty three it would have been twenty three then yeah and we just like five hours from Louisville to home like that's what we talked about just the good and the bad to both like what do you want and it was very hard it was very hard to choose yeah looking back now though I don't think that you would say I would change the decision we've made no there have been bumps along the road no it's not been perfect but I don't think we would change anything about it.

SPEAKER_02 34:53

No I wouldn't change it I think it's taken me a long time to accept because I've been very honest about like the the stay at home thing for me was not like I didn't grow up wanting to be a stay at home mom. Like that wasn't um my first choice not that I did not like I don't know you weren't against it you just weren't the anti it was like that's just not me like there are people that want to have kids and want to raise kids and stay at home. And I love that for them. Like I love that for them. I think God puts that desire in their heart whatever I wanted to go to school I loved school I wanted to She's a freak I loved like just the health industry like healthcare whatever um I had like other things that I wanted to do like with my degree after I started as a nurse like ways to advance that like I always in my brain was going to work in some capacity like maybe not five days a week when I had kids but like in my brain like I was going to use my degree like I I worked really hard I worked as a nurse for you know a lot of years and the more time you're there like you know and I was not like at a position to where I was like irreplaceable by any stretch of the imagination I was a warm body in a hospital like don't get it twisted. But I you had built some rapport. I'd built rapport and like I'd built my skill set I had built my knowledge like I had built some like status as far as like um what is that word? What is it like when you've been somewhere a long time like seniority like within you know um I enjoyed where I was I felt like what I didn't matter like I was not terrible at it off like um and so I it is hard for me sometimes like even now like it's not hard for me to to say like yes that was a decision that I should have made but sometimes it's hard for me to not like it's it's still something that I'm not like I don't know what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_00 37:08

I think it was just like it's still something that you you think about and you're like man that was a tough decision.

SPEAKER_02 37:12

Yeah like I'll I think I'll always look back at that and be like that was a really hard decision. Will I ever will I ever look back in regret this time with my kids no because I know it actually won't always be there. It's not there anymore. Yeah yeah um going back to the you can go and get a nurse job anywhere if you want right right right right right right right um anywho I I just think that's it's hard it it's not it's we're not diminishing that right no but I'm also I can with full confidence say that I don't think my life would be better or easier if I was not home with them.

SPEAKER_00 37:50

No and I don't think I I personally do not think that you could have stepped into a full supportive role still working outside the home in the stage of life that we're in right now.

SPEAKER_02 38:03

I don't think that Savannah could have done that correct yeah I'm not saying anybody individual right uh I know our relationship our dynamic for where for where Savannah and Jeremiah were getting ready to have a second child if I would have continued to work I don't think that it would have been great for our marriage.

SPEAKER_00 38:20

No.

SPEAKER_02 38:21

And I yeah like I can actually very confidently say it would not have been yeah it would have been rough um it would have been very rough well it's not always smooth sailing with me home so like that's just being honest but um no we were very confident and but the thing about like good things like good things they're hard they're hard to create right good things come through hard work and having a good marriage having a good family that's not easy right like that is not easy.

SPEAKER_00 38:51

I I think about the way that I was raised a lot and you probably have your own stories but like I think with the way that I was raised like very biblically sound very we always had everything we needed uh we didn't have a bunch of extra but we had everything we needed yeah and like it was hard but it was hard like my dad was in full-time ministry my mom was in corporate world so like she for Tom for a long time she didn't start staying home until I was in ninth grade. I always forget that it was that late I mean I was 15 years old so like my the majority of my childhood so funny because I feel like most people do the opposite yeah now my I a brother my third brother is six years younger than me seven years younger than me so like he would have only been seven yeah he didn't know much outside of that but for the majority of my childhood she was in corporate world and so like she was the breadwinner. She was going out and providing every single day while also managing and running a home and um doing all the things and like that was not easy on them. Oh gosh to build that to build the family that we had like it was not easy it was very hard but I know looking at it today they're gonna sit back and say like yeah like we it it was hard but it was good right like well and you just three like you just do it.

SPEAKER_02 40:04

Like it's your life and that's what you chose so we just do it.

SPEAKER_00 40:08

And I'll tell you this and we haven't we have not talked about this at all you can hear we say that phrase a lot right on the show. Like this is just that no like we haven't talked about this a lot this show just brings out these conversations. It does I was talking about this the other day with uh who's it oh with uh when they were up here last night I'm talking about having kids and stuff um Alicia Brentel posted a picture the other day of the kids lined up in 2021 I saw 2022 with the house in the background and they were all so young yeah like so just little they were tiny they were little kids and uh a picture of them today yeah all lined up in front of the house same thing backs turned and it's like I don't know why that picture that picture hit me because I was like there's no world in which like the last four years five years for them it's probably been chaos like one of their kids wasn't even born in that I think they're missing Dean. Yeah like it's just been chaos they run a massive business they run multiple businesses they're the most busy chaotic family I've ever seen I've ever known personally right they do big things it's all everything they do is big right but they do it extremely well and there's no part of me that I I could call him right now and say do you regret having this many kids right he would never say no like they would never look at that picture. Yeah they would never say yes they would never look at that picture and say yes yeah there's zero part of it or there's zero chance that would happen yeah and it makes like we're we're in this conversation of like like we have a three year old and a one year old and we're like okay how many kids do we want to have you know yeah and it's like it it it will be hard like it will be hard to have another kid it'll be hard for like the first year of their life I I it's not my favorite I don't enjoy it that much right I don't enjoy it that much I don't enjoy the baby phase they say oh you'll miss it one day Jack's three and a half haven't missed it one time haven't missed haven't had the opportunity to miss it because we had another one you're not gonna miss it for 20 years.

SPEAKER_02 42:15

Haven't have not missed the pre-1 year old at one time right and so with that I'm just understanding like we're we're we're gonna have more kids we'll Lord Wayne would have more kids I think this just goes back to the whole little phrase which is another thing that we don't have to get into tonight but I think it just goes back to the like you choose your hard you do choose your hard but it just it just hits me I'm like there it's it's so hard in the season like it's hard so hard in the season it's hard for everybody there's just zero chance we would look back in 10 years and be like yeah I I probably would have done it differently well you don't have to say you would have done it differently but you I feel like you No I'm saying I I probably wouldn't have had kids that's what I mean by that I probably wouldn't have had this many kids. Yeah that's the biggest thing in our life right now yes that's our biggest like factor in like in our in our next 10 years that's what our biggest factor is like how many kids are we gonna have I just I I don't think there's anything wrong because we're not sitting we're not out here advocating for we're having 15 kids no no that's not what I'm saying at all. I do think there's some like wisdom and like you know having some self-awareness for sure financial status of what we can support what we what you feel like you actually genuinely physically have the capacity for versus like what you feel like God has called you to and will sustain you through because like just because you know you think oh I don't know how I could ever do that like you know if God has that for your family like he will be faithful.

SPEAKER_00 43:43

But also personal story 30 seconds or less right here we have per people in our church they adopt a bunch of kids yeah yeah talking to him the other night they literally had it's not even physically possible they had seven kids six and under they Think about that for a minute. Seven kids, six and under. They had multiple foster kids during that time that turned into adopted children. I was talking to the mom, I was like, literally, how did you survive? Like, what did you do? She was like, There's times I don't remember, uh, which I think everyone would have.

SPEAKER_01 44:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:14

Right. But she looks now and she's like, like, yeah, they're like, the Lord just guided us through it and and held our hand and showed us the way.

SPEAKER_02 44:22

Right. But I'm just saying, I do think there's a difference there in like trusting that, but also just saying, like, no, like, I I genuinely don't think that like where we're at, we have the capacity to like love and lead another child well. Like, and that's yeah, I think that's okay.

SPEAKER_00 44:38

You have to, you just have to pair like we're Christian Worldview Outlook here, right? On this show, you have to pair that with a firm a firm relationship with Christ and know and like where that like prayers to him, like what does this look like for us? Yeah. Because I guarantee you there were times when they had those kids that she was like, I can't do this, I can't do this anymore, right? Yeah, like the human aspect says I can't do this.

SPEAKER_02 45:03

That that does come in like your constant like communication submission of Christ's will. Because if you I mean, but I also feel like she probably knew in those moments, like, I can't do this, but I know this is why he has for me. That's how I feel almost every day being to say, Oh mom, like I can't do this, but I know this is what God has for me. So like he's gonna be faithful in it. And so that's where I would say that that goes.

SPEAKER_00 45:26

Which is where the peace comes to from, too, by the way. Right. Like, let's not overlook that.

SPEAKER_02 45:30

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:32

If you don't have that peace, you're gonna be missing something for a long time that you won't find anywhere else.

SPEAKER_02 45:37

I don't know how you do it.

SPEAKER_00 45:39

Yeah, yeah. Like that's a big, it's a big factor.

SPEAKER_02 45:42

Yeah, um, so we'll also say this is not a baby announcement.

SPEAKER_00 45:47

No, no, it's not. We are not there, not at all. It just is, I don't know why. That one, that one just hit me. I was like, Yeah, there's no like there's just no world. There's no world, and you see that and you're like, Yeah, it would be better without five, you know, like yeah, it just doesn't happen. So, yeah, anyway, well, we're a little bit long-winded tonight. I uh excited to be back, excited to be back to you here. We missed a week last week and I went in here the week before. Um excited to dive into some stuff like this. I am really excited for where we're gonna go this summer. I think that we're gonna dive into a little bit what we've talked about tonight, uh a little deeper. Um, so just stay tuned for more on that and kind of what that looks like as we navigate that the next couple months because it is a very real thing. Uh it's a very, very, very real topic. Like, support of the spouse is so crucial. Yeah. And no one was teaching us that right when we started. Like, no, no one was teaching us that. And and what it turns into is like you're at each other's throats then. Because again, it's like the book, Love and Respect. If you've never read that book, go read that book. If you feel any of these feelings, go read that book. It's talking about how the the wife needs to feel loved, the husband needs to feel respected. Right. So, in this example of like you supporting the person who's building the business, the guy goes out, he cuts grass all day, he kills himself, he comes home, he does a estimate, he does all this stuff. The wife doubts, the wife is not supportive, well then he doesn't feel respected, but she doesn't feel loved because she doesn't get the time she needs, and then you're in the crazy cycle, right? Like that that's where this goes, and uh it's just something that you gotta get a handle on early.

unknown 47:35

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 47:36

So any any closing parting words of wisdom or anything?

SPEAKER_01 47:40

Oof, I don't think so.

SPEAKER_00 47:42

Oof, I don't think so. You gotta start bringing some some words at the end, you always just don't ever end a sound. To the end of the show.

SPEAKER_02 47:52

Oh, so sorry. Have a great week.

SPEAKER_00 47:55

Are you proud of your women's show? We haven't even talked about that. What did y'all even talk about? What did y'all talk about? I haven't listened to it.

SPEAKER_02 48:01

Multi multi, is that what the right word? Intergenerational, like um community, like having people in your life in different age groups. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:12

Interesting.

SPEAKER_02 48:14

Yeah, just the value that that brings when you allow people to speak into your life that are in different stages of life.

SPEAKER_00 48:22

Yeah, different stages are everything. Um it means a lot. Like I I can learn something I can learn something from a teenager right now. Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_02 48:29

And it's all about your outlook and like being willing to learn and listen.

SPEAKER_00 48:34

Yeah. And I would say, like to wrap that up, I would have not listened to your show, couldn't tell you what you what you talked about.

SPEAKER_02 48:43

You edited it.

SPEAKER_00 48:46

All I do is I mean, there was no stops in it, so I just put the beginning and ending on it. So that's what you told me. I asked. I guess.

SPEAKER_02 48:53

Maybe I can't remember.

SPEAKER_00 48:55

Uh with that said though, like my my closing words here would be if you have people around you that you know have your best interests in mind, you trust the decisions they make, you you know what they're doing, what is best, or they want their attempt at what they're doing is to do what's best for you. Please listen. No matter the age, right, different perspectives matter, right? I could be young, I could bring a different perspective to someone who's 50, and I hope that they have the respect for me to know that I would only say something or present something that is for their best interest, right? Same thing for me. If someone that is 50 talks to me in my life, in my circle that I let in, that I like, hey, we are here, like we're in this life together. If they're gonna say something and bring something up about me, we well, our our small group now, like right now, is talking about spiritual authorities. But even outside of like a spiritual aspect, just a real life aspect. If those people are in my circles and you have those people in your circles, like listen to what they tell you and the advice they give you. It doesn't mean you have to be a yes man. It doesn't mean you can't like think on your own, it doesn't mean you can't make your own decisions. Very heavily consider what they're talking about, be respectful in the way that you receive things. I want to always be respectful in the way that I receive things. I haven't always been that way. Take that, whether it's older or younger, someone's talking to you, and just like again, if they this is the the asterisk next to this is like if they're in your circle and you have built that trust and rapport with them, think on those things. Because I've not always been that way. And so this goes all the way down to what we're talking about tonight of support of the spouse, the guy going out and building the business. If you, if if you as the spouse believes that your husband is doing what's best for your family, respect them. If he says something, trust him, follow him, believe in him. Like that you will that will make the biggest difference that you can even really imagine. So my voice is leaving me. I don't want to get hoarse. Thank you for tuning in, guys. I hope you enjoyed it. Uh, this episode is out on YouTube. We did not put two weeks out, two weeks ago out on YouTube because we didn't have any cameras for you. But this episode's up and live, so go check it out. If you have any questions or any feedback for us, reach out and let me know. Leave a comment on the video, shoot me a DM. Uh I want to really try to grow our socials here the next year or so and build the show out so it can build its own platform. Um, we appreciate it. Leave us reviews on the Apple Podcast as well. That's huge. Um so when people do see the show, they can say, okay, there's actually a few people that listen to this thing, it may be worth checking out. So even if you've listened, if you're coming over from Marriage Mondays on Growing Green, if you've listened to the past and left a review there, come leave a review on our new show. That would mean the world to us. Uh there's really that that is really the best thing you can do to help us. Like if you say, How can I help? Like you've got supported to us, you've supported us the last couple of years. One, I appreciate that. I'm glad we could. Please just leave us your review. That's that's really all I ask. It's very simple, it takes 30 seconds. Um, share it with your friends and family. Come back and hear us next week. Who knows what we're gonna get into, but it's gonna be uh it's gonna be good, it's gonna be exciting, and I'm excited to uh get in it. We're going to a wedding next weekend. So we'll be fresh off the hills of a new marriage. So who knows what we'll talk about? Maybe a little road show. But anyway, thank you for tuning in, guys. Hope you enjoyed it. Without any further ado, I was gonna wrap this one up and we'll catch up with you here on the next one.