The Sour Patch Kid Phase

In this episode Jeremiah and Savannah get real about life in the thick of parenting young kids. They share honest stories from a chaotic weekend of pickleball tournaments, late-night outings, toddler meltdowns, and those sweet moments that somehow make all the hard moments worth it. The conversation dives into the challenge of disciplining strong-willed children, learning when to show grace versus when to stand firm, and the constant balancing act of raising kids with intentionality and biblical conviction. If you’re in the trenches of parenting toddlers—or just trying to build a healthy home—this episode will remind you that you’re not alone.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

What's going on everybody? Thank you so much for tuning in to Episode of the Hero Uncultivated. This is your host, Jeremiah Jennings, and we are joined with my beautiful co-host, Savannah. How are you?

SPEAKER_00 0:10

I'm good. How are you?

SPEAKER_02 0:12

Fantastic as you mimic me or mock me. That's the best part about not filming. Uh yeah, you get to act. We won't go into that.

SPEAKER_00 0:22

I get to what?

SPEAKER_02 0:23

Nothing. Anyway. Welcome to the show, folks. Hope you guys are doing well. Have you had a great week? And uh we did busy, busy, busy, busy, busy as always. But uh been a great week. It really has. And excited to do another show this week. Uh get back on the get back on the wagon. And uh get this thing rolling again. So we are midsummer right now. Tons of stuff going on.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Mid summer, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 0:52

Yeah, like doesn't get more midsummer than right now. So midsummer, uh wide open. We have lots of things going on with friends and family and holidays and travels and all that stuff. Yes. As well as the day-to-day life uh goes. Yeah. That's all fun. Before we get too caught up in the weeds, though, if you're listening to this, you have Uno more days to buy tickets to Together in the Trades. Yes. Together in the Trades is the final big event that they're doing. Uh it's gonna be in Williams, Arizona, July 16th to the 19th. You can go to Togetherintrades.com. It's right about 300 bucks per person. So right a little bit over $600 per ticket after fees and everything like that. But it's gonna be a fantastic event, guys. Um cannot wait to go out and spend some time out west. Um, I'm excited. It's gonna be a nice little break for just a long weekend. We're leaving Thursday, coming on Sunday, so not taking away like too, too terribly long. Like it won't mess up our work schedule much at all, yeah, which will be good. Um, but excited for some time away and getting to go out west. I love going out west.

SPEAKER_00 2:02

It's been a while for you. I mean, it's been a while for us, but I don't know the last time Vegas. Yeah, in 2024. Yeah, it's been a couple years. I feel like I just think about when we got married and you went for your friend's wedding and stuff. That was probably the last time you got started.

SPEAKER_02 2:16

I went to California too. That's like not, I'm not thinking that. That's not Arizona West.

SPEAKER_00 2:21

That's different kind of west. Yeah, San Francisco is not the same.

SPEAKER_02 2:25

Yeah, exactly. Very different.

SPEAKER_00 2:26

Um that's where did we go?

SPEAKER_02 2:28

We didn't go to Redwoods, we went to another one up there. Um and saw we saw those massive sequoias. Yes. Up in Northern California, but I don't remember where I don't know exactly.

SPEAKER_00 2:40

I don't remember it. I could probably pull up a picture, but um, it was a big trees. I mean, it was really cool.

SPEAKER_02 2:47

It was some big trees, it was fun. We're uh so we're going to Williams, which is right outside of Phoenix. Yes. It's gonna be toasty.

SPEAKER_00 2:55

I mean, yeah, we're going in July. Yeah. So it's gonna be really hot.

SPEAKER_02 3:00

But I think we're gonna go to the Grand Canyon, which is cool. Because when we went, when I went out for that wedding a couple years ago, um we did not go out to the Grand Canyon. So we went up to Sedona for a day, which was good. Yes. Uh, but we did not go out of Grand Canyon, so I'm excited for that.

SPEAKER_00 3:16

I have been once. I went uh on a big like um road trip situation. Well, we flew to one place, and then we rented and did road trip um when I was a freshman in college with some families um and did the Grand Canyon then, but I have not been back since then. So it's been like 10 years almost.

SPEAKER_02 3:39

Big hole in the ground.

SPEAKER_00 3:40

Yeah, oh my gosh, I can't believe I just said 10 years. That feels really weird, but it's fine.

SPEAKER_02 3:46

I mean you're creeping up on 30, like you're not that far away.

SPEAKER_00 3:49

Just leave me alone. Leave me alone.

SPEAKER_02 3:52

Are you 27 or 28? 28. I'm 28. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:56

Oof. Oof.

SPEAKER_00 3:57

Ooh, ooh.

SPEAKER_02 3:58

Ooh.

SPEAKER_00 3:59

Yeah, I don't want to talk about it.

SPEAKER_02 4:00

Yeah, we better just move on.

SPEAKER_00 4:01

Yeah, we we need to just move on. I not to be dramatic, I've honestly thought about it every day.

SPEAKER_02 4:06

Every day?

SPEAKER_00 4:07

No, like for the past like two weeks, I thought about me being 28 years old every day. I don't know what it is. But what about it? Just like holy cow, I can't believe I'm 28 years old.

SPEAKER_02 4:17

Yeah, like it's here.

SPEAKER_00 4:18

It's here. Like I'm only gonna keep getting older.

SPEAKER_02 4:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:21

Um and I'm not old. That's the thing, is I feel like people listening to this that are older than me are like this girl's so stupid. But I'm I'm like, this is such a weird time because I'm leaving my 20s. In your 20s, like you know you're young, you know? But once you get out of your 20s, it's like, oh my gosh, I can't retire.

SPEAKER_02 4:45

Yeah, there's no getting out of it.

SPEAKER_00 4:46

No, I don't, it's just this weird feeling of like, okay, now I actually can't now I can kind of like still fake myself out and like think I'm really young.

SPEAKER_02 4:54

So here's the thing are we gonna are you gonna have another kid before you're 30? Are you gonna be done having kids?

SPEAKER_00 4:58

I don't know. That was my goal. You know, you have all these like little naive goals and things that you decide, you know, this is how we're gonna do this and this is how I'm gonna live, and you know, this is our plan, and I always thought that I would be done having kids by the time I was thirty. Um, yeah, we only have two right now. I'm 28, so you can do that math. But I uh I could see us having another kid by the time I'm 30. But does it like will we be done?

SPEAKER_02 5:29

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What?

SPEAKER_00 5:32

Don't pretend. Don't pretend. Don't pretend.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

Yeah, I know. Which means we better we need to get this train rolling.

SPEAKER_00 5:40

But I you know, I don't because then you have to, you know, I've this is so funny because this is a couple of things. Three's a crowd.

SPEAKER_02 5:46

Four is a four is party. I mean, that's that's more than a crowd. Whatever is more than a crowd.

SPEAKER_00 5:52

A party at all times, chaos at all times.

SPEAKER_02 5:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:56

This little conversation of how many win, whatever, is like, you know, all of the people around us have it because we're just in that stage of life. But you know, we are constantly like, you know, I want more kids, but I don't feel quite ready. And just because life is just crazy and chaotic, and I honestly can't really comprehend the thought of adding another right now, even though I want one.

SPEAKER_02 6:18

I don't think you can ever, yeah, you can ever really comprehend having four three or four kids.

SPEAKER_00 6:24

Well, I just mean like adding another one right now. Yeah. Like what that would be like. And granted, I know people say, and I have told my friends this before, but you know, you wouldn't be adding it right now, you know, it would be nine to ten months from now. So like you have to think about that. I know.

SPEAKER_02 6:37

Which we've had that discussion before, by the way. Why do you say you're pregnant for nine months? You're not, you're pregnant for ten.

SPEAKER_00 6:43

Well, because you usually it's nine months from like when you find out.

SPEAKER_02 6:48

I guess, yeah. But you're pregnant for ten months.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

Yeah, but there's a few weeks of your pregnancy. Yeah, your first three to five. Because you know, it's like it is what it is, because it's nine months from when you find out, but you're 40 weeks pregnant.

SPEAKER_02 7:00

Correct.

SPEAKER_00 7:01

Right.

SPEAKER_02 7:02

But you've been pregnant for 10 months.

SPEAKER_00 7:03

You just didn't, but no one ever says I'm 10 months pregnant. Yeah. You just say, Oh, you're nine months pregnant. But really, by the time you reach 40 weeks, yeah, 40 weeks, do math. Anyways, so if y'all hear me saying that, I'm 10 months pregnant. 44 weeks.

SPEAKER_02 7:18

No, not 44. You'd just be yeah. 40. Yeah. That's a math. 40 weeks, 10 months.

SPEAKER_00 7:21

Math is hard.

SPEAKER_02 7:22

Um, let's just get you piped down here and we'll continue on with this shit.

SPEAKER_00 7:28

Leave me alone. Leave that alone.

unknown 7:29

No, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 7:30

All right, let's keep on moving, folks. Uh, we have a lot of agenda to get to today.

SPEAKER_00 7:37

Are you are you are you proud of yourself? Was that was that funny? You gonna start on this agenda you have, or what was what was that?

SPEAKER_02 7:46

What was I gonna say?

SPEAKER_00 7:47

I don't know. Apparently you had a lot to say.

SPEAKER_02 7:50

I was gonna say something about having kids. Um speaking of having kids, we were talking, we were literally walking up the stairs and then we started watching a started watching a real No, we didn't.

SPEAKER_00 8:01

That was just our kid being our kid.

SPEAKER_02 8:03

Yeah, but we were talking about it in the stair coming up the stairs, and then we started watching the real Yeah, like hours later. Yeah, exactly. Kids, there's nothing on the planet that you can like want to wring their neck and then simultaneously, like not simultaneously ten seconds later from it being over with, them do something cute or nice, and you just love them more than anything else ever.

SPEAKER_00 8:31

Or they make you laugh, yeah. Like you just for like I I don't even know.

SPEAKER_02 8:36

Like so, what did we do today? Debrief.

SPEAKER_00 8:39

Yeah, I mean, we had a very normal Sunday, but this afternoon we had a pickleball tournament with our uh Sunday school class, and that sounds like oh like your Sunday school class. No, no, no, no. I mean, how many people were there? It was nuts. It was like 16 rounds.

SPEAKER_02 8:55

It was like there were 19 teams of two people.

SPEAKER_00 8:57

Yeah, okay. So there's your math.

SPEAKER_02 8:59

So there's 38 of just people playing. I think everybody there played. Uh everybody there played. There's a couple people that played. There were a couple wives that didn't play probably. So we were over 40 people there. Probably 50.

SPEAKER_00 9:10

I mean, there were probably close 60. 60 with kids. So anyways, we have a pickleball tournament. And the the plan, sorry, I shall stroke, was to every bring your kids because not everybody around us, like in our group or whatever, is from here. They don't all have family that live here, they don't all have very like easily accessible child care. So the plan is to bring your kids and then for the people that aren't playing, they'll watch kids, and then you know, while you play, somebody will watch your kids kind of situation. And it was, you know, we have a big we brought a bounce house. We're on we're in pretty nice, like covered pickleball courts. We did kind of take over it wasn't it was not crowded, so I didn't feel really bad about doing this, but we kind of took over one court for the kids. They like, you know, the babies.

SPEAKER_01 10:03

Because it's all it's all gated in.

SPEAKER_00 10:05

Yes, it was gated, whatever. And there's a bounce house in there for the bigger kids, babies crawl around, and then we had our tournament, whatever. Um, I can't remember. Oh, we're talking about Jack, right? Just him.

SPEAKER_02 10:17

Yeah, that's what they did. So that's what we did. Like, I mean, there was 20 kids, all five and under.

SPEAKER_00 10:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:24

Um, from five literally down to I don't know, weeks a few weeks. Yeah. Wide range there. Running around, and there's probably six, four to six boys that are from three to five. And so they were just running around crazy, chaotic, and wild. Yeah. And just doing things, just being boys, just being boys, but like pulling and shoving and pushing and taking and crying and all the stuff that happens in a toddler brain.

unknown 10:55

Right.

SPEAKER_02 10:56

And you're sitting there, and and so we did like very good. Like, everyone kind of helped out watch kids because while people were playing, like the parents there were two courts going on all the time, so there's always at least four sets of parents playing. Yeah. Nobody there didn't have kids. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:13

And so not true. There were several people that got people to watch their kids.

SPEAKER_02 11:17

No, no, no. I mean, like they, yeah, there were some people that didn't bring their kids, but everybody that's playing. Were parents. Correct. And so, um we were watching each other's kids, which was great. Like, that's what community's for, right? Yeah. Um, but it's still like watching somebody else's kid in that moment is not like your own, and having somebody else watching your own like kind of hesitant to like how you know, how do you discipline here? How do you do da da da da da? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:42

And uh just how to handle certain situations.

SPEAKER_02 11:45

Correct. Yeah, like how do you what do you what would you do here?

SPEAKER_00 11:47

Not trying to discipline, but it's just like how do you handle correct? If somebody takes something, you know you think about the environment that you're in too. Like it was 90 degrees. I mean, there's everybody's sweating, everybody's hot, everybody's kind of cranky, everybody's it was dinner time. It was hungry.

SPEAKER_02 12:04

Yeah, we played through dinner. Like we got we got we finished, and everybody was like, Oh man, we're starving. It was 7 30.

SPEAKER_00 12:10

Yeah, we got there at four, and we finished it at about 7 30.

SPEAKER_02 12:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:14

So it was a long time of being out there.

SPEAKER_02 12:17

But it was really fun. Oh my gosh, yes. Really fun. And it proved like it can be done. Yes. You can still hang out with people, you can still have friends and community and have your kids there. Like you don't have to now again. If we were trying to sit there and have a Bible study, different story. We did that on Easter, didn't go fantastic. It went decent.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

It was good, all things considered.

SPEAKER_02 12:36

Yeah, yeah, it went decent. But what we're saying was just so all that's going on, right? Jack's are fits and fits, whatever, and it's like that was the night we had. Yeah, that was the night we had, and it just you just it's just chaos. It's just chaos, and it's oh my goodness, you know, you say one thing, he does another, doesn't listen to something tired, uh hot, hungry, all of the stuff. Right. And um, then we're getting out of the car to come upstairs, and it was just like, I forgot what he said.

SPEAKER_00 13:02

He's like, he was getting into the car and he almost fell, and he just looked up at us, he said, Whew, almost fail. Yeah, but he the way he said it almost fail. Like he was like kind of making a joke about himself, like, oh almost fail. Like it was just so funny.

SPEAKER_02 13:16

A three-year-old making jokes, by the way.

SPEAKER_00 13:19

Like to us, it was just so funny. Like we had been so at our wits' end for lack of a better term, with him uh out there, and we were just all tired and cranky, and he was just oh, he also got so he does not do well when he cannot do something, like when he cannot accomplish something. He is not a very patient, which like I don't I know a lot of three year olds are not very patient, but he does not have the patience and like problem solving to like he wanted to hit the pickleball, like he wanted to wanted to play pickleball, and he could not like the coordination was just like not quite there for him. And he was, I mean, like irrationally how do you say that? It was like Yeah, he was irrationally losing it, like unrealistically, unreasonably angry about not hitting the ball, and it was like the whole freaking courts hurt him. Yeah, you know, it was just that situation when you're like, oh great, it's my kid. Like, and so we're just you know, ready to get home, put him to bed, whatever. And then he just says that getting out of the car. We're like, Oh my gosh, having kids is so wild. Like, we've been so over this and irritated all afternoon.

SPEAKER_02 14:34

And then you like laugh while come to stairs and have a good dinner time.

SPEAKER_00 14:40

And you're like, This is so wild.

SPEAKER_02 14:42

Like, I don't even know how to like if it was a dog, I would just throw him outside if they did something like that. Like just banish them.

SPEAKER_00 14:49

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 14:50

And not let him back in for hours and hours.

SPEAKER_00 14:52

Banish them. Well, that's the reason you don't have a dog then.

SPEAKER_02 14:56

Well, we're not gonna talk about why we don't have a dog, but anyway, we will continue and move on. I do want a dog soon though. Um if we get one, it's gonna have to be one that doesn't shed.

SPEAKER_00 15:05

Yeah, and it's not gonna be a million pounds.

SPEAKER_02 15:08

Correct. That is true, to an extent. We had our previous dogs were large and in chars, they're both pushing a hundred dogs, a hundred pounds. Yeah. Golden retrievers, hair everywhere. Beautiful dogs. Oh, beautiful dogs. Um, they still are great dogs. They live with they live with my parents, they live an amazing life. Um they do, they live an absolutely amazing life. But anyway, we're gonna get another one down the road. So kids are wild, kids are crazy. Uh, they make you feel one way, and but it is like, you know, people talk about having multiples. Like, how can your heart get bigger? Like, your heart just does get bigger, like it just does. It just grows.

SPEAKER_00 15:46

Were we talking on the show about him being a sour patch kid?

SPEAKER_02 15:49

No, you said that one day. I was like, what are you talking about?

SPEAKER_00 15:52

But okay, somebody has to tell me that I'm not crazy. I didn't know obviously, I did not coin that term. That is a normal thing. Like, y'all have heard people talk about a sour patch kid, you know, like they're sour and then they're sweet. That's a normal thing. I feel like I never heard that. I've never heard that. I was like, I feel like I say that all the time about Jack. He's a Sour Patch kid.

SPEAKER_02 16:11

I'm also very uncultured though, so oh wow.

SPEAKER_00 16:15

So humble of you to admit.

SPEAKER_02 16:17

Yeah, I'm I'm not cultured, I don't know anything.

SPEAKER_00 16:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 16:20

I don't really watch movies. What's your favorite movie?

SPEAKER_00 16:25

I think I have a new one. I'm I'm well no, I don't know. I I watched um a movie this past week for the. There's no way that was your favorite movie. But I loved it. And I want to watch it again. No, I wasn't. I really wasn't.

SPEAKER_02 16:42

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 16:43

Okay, we're not gonna fight about that. But I loved Steel Magnolius. It was made in in the 80s or late 80s, and I had never seen it, and it was so good. Um, my favorite movies are I don't know, I kind of have some serious. Why did you put that on your head like that? You look like a freak.

SPEAKER_02 17:04

Um favorite movies. I was waiting to look up. Um I'm wearing my Milwaukee Workforce.

SPEAKER_00 17:15

Yeah, and he pulled the hood over himself, but like the way that you're serious.

SPEAKER_02 17:20

These things are absolutely amazing. If I had one of these for every day of the week, I'd wear them. This is what we bought our guys now, like the knockoff version. Looks like a thumb. Sand looked like a thumb the other night.

SPEAKER_00 17:35

That's not what I was talking about looking like a thumb.

SPEAKER_02 17:37

Look at a hot dog.

SPEAKER_00 17:39

Right.

SPEAKER_02 17:40

Um that's the nice term.

SPEAKER_00 17:42

Right. It is the nice term. I wonder, did it did our group chat stay that picture? I hope it did. I'm gonna go.

SPEAKER_02 17:49

We went out for a birthday and went go-karting. That was uh you had to wear the head sleeve.

SPEAKER_00 17:55

Like these that what it is, a head sleeve?

SPEAKER_02 17:58

I don't know, that's what I would call it. The sleeve that goes over your head.

SPEAKER_00 18:02

Terrible. Um, but it was this thing, and it you're smushed your hair down. It was terrible. But uh terrible, terrible.

SPEAKER_02 18:13

She got concussed pretty much.

SPEAKER_00 18:15

I did.

SPEAKER_02 18:16

Me and her got put in the back. I said, We're set up for success. We can come work from the back of the field, like let's go to work here. We get out of the gate and make the first turn and we bump each other, and it was fine. That was normal.

SPEAKER_00 18:27

It was horrible.

SPEAKER_02 18:27

And then I'd look up and she's just like backwards in a wall. I was like, what happened to you?

SPEAKER_00 18:31

It was awful. It's still the picture, it's great. Uh yeah, I was beaten. Like, it was I don't want to talk about it. I still have horrible feelings and thoughts.

SPEAKER_02 18:43

Dude, you almost had a TBI, I felt like.

SPEAKER_00 18:46

You you're telling me you felt like it it was almost a TBI?

SPEAKER_02 18:50

She just drove around the rest of the time. These things went like 45 miles an hour. Yeah, it was so much.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

She just drove around going like 25 circles at like 25 miles an hour. The only time I started speeding up was when I felt somebody about to lap me. And then I was like, well, I'm not gonna let that happen. Guess what? I wasn't last. I don't know how Maddie was last. Her friend was last, and I don't know how. She started in third.

SPEAKER_02 19:15

I started in 12th, and I was like, she got the flat tire, that was why.

SPEAKER_00 19:19

Oh yeah, she got the flat tire. Stop the movie. She didn't. It was just the flat tire. Yeah, I guess. Whatever, she did.

SPEAKER_02 19:26

Yeah, sure. We're not gonna do that. That's what I got for. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:29

Um I don't even know how we got to this point, but it was very fun time, other than it wasn't.

SPEAKER_02 19:36

The kids stayed out later than they've ever stayed out.

SPEAKER_00 19:38

Our kids. So you know what? It's fine that they were horrible today because we going out, we went to dinner, y'all.

SPEAKER_02 19:46

That was two nights ago, though.

SPEAKER_00 19:47

We took our but they need to recognize Yeah, they hadn't really caught up. Um we took our kids out to dinner that started at 7 p.m.

SPEAKER_02 19:57

Tay's in the bed at 7 15 usually.

SPEAKER_00 19:59

If you're a parent of young children, you know we are wild. And it was a dinner with all adults. Yeah, there were no other children there.

SPEAKER_02 20:07

Yeah. That was wild.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

So I just need to applaud us. High five.

SPEAKER_02 20:13

We did good. We did good. The kids did good.

SPEAKER_00 20:15

The kids did good. You can't really. We're talking about Javy and Terrible today.

SPEAKER_02 20:20

Tate was an absolute angel that night.

SPEAKER_00 20:22

Angel. We looked at each other when we got in the car from dinner, and we were like, he's never been that good. Literally ever. Ever.

SPEAKER_02 20:27

And he's a good kid.

SPEAKER_00 20:28

And he's a good baby. He's a good baby. He was an angel. And it was a sit-down dinner. Like it wasn't just like we were there for an hour.

SPEAKER_02 20:35

Hour and a half. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:36

Easy. And then we braved the go-kar place. We did not leave the go-kar place until 10 30 or something. They were angels. They just ran around. I think he was delirious. Oh, he was 100%. But they did so good. So today, them being little hellions, it's it's you know it, you know.

SPEAKER_02 20:54

It's part of it.

SPEAKER_00 20:55

Can't be every day can't be your best day.

SPEAKER_02 20:57

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 20:58

But I'm thankful that we had our people because we would not have gotten to do that without them, you know?

SPEAKER_02 21:03

Yeah, no, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 21:04

I mean, it was it had not been a very much a group effort. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 21:10

Yeah, yeah. You gotta be people that are with the biggest.

SPEAKER_00 21:12

But it's the same thing with the dinner, right? Like, I mean, we say that like our kids were good, but we had help. Like our people that we went with were very helpful. Like we we would not have gone to a a dinner with people that we didn't know well at seven o'clock. You know what I mean? That was also part of it, where's like they're some of our best friends. So we knew that if we were gonna go, that we were gonna like have some support, you know. So it's all about who it's with, I feel like.

SPEAKER_02 21:41

Yeah, for sure. And that's gonna be like and kids are also gonna like kids are just gonna determine who we hang out with as we grow up, as they grow up. Like, it just is what it is. No, it is I mean, it just is what it is. Your kids will your kids and your parents have told us that from the beginning. Like, your kids will help choose your friends, like who your kids really Hang around and get along with and don't get along with, like who you want to be good influences versus bad influences.

SPEAKER_00 22:05

That's probably more so how they rule that than just like who they get along with. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 22:10

You know, which in turn comes back to like the parents. But um, yeah, it is, and it's a challenging time. Like it is, whoo, we are we're in the thick of it with Jack right now because he's very intellectual, he's very smart, got a mouth on him, though. And uh that has been that's been one we're having to really, really challenge. And like it's weird because people that aren't from the South, like I think not in a negative way, it's just not common. But like, or it just I guess it is common. Like it's respect is like a southern thing. It's like a southern respect in a sense of yes sir, no sir. Oh, well that's very obviously a southern thing. No, ma'am. Like I just feel like it's a different I think it's different around the country. You get it, you get into different areas and right little pieces throughout the country. It's like, oh, things are just done differently here, you know, like we live in a little bubble.

SPEAKER_00 23:06

Some cultural norms and stuff like that. Correct, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:08

So that is one that's yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:11

No, it's uh pretty heavily enforced down here.

SPEAKER_02 23:14

Yeah, for sure. Yeah, but it's like it's what you want, like that's what that's how we want our kids to be raised, and so we're trying to enforce that and instill that, and um and it and it works to an extent. Yeah, we're figuring it out, right? I will be the first one to say we do not have it figured all out, uh, just coming off the hills of what we talked about earlier today.

SPEAKER_01 23:34

Right.

SPEAKER_02 23:35

But you're also having it like you're managing their emotions, you're they're they are like learning these things and figuring out these feelings they're having for the first and second and third times, like how to control them and how to channel them even. Like, yeah, that's part of it. And so it's an interesting it's an interesting battle that we have daily of like Well, there's just so many dynamics to it.

SPEAKER_00 23:59

Like there's so many factors at play, you know, like things that you think about for yourself as far as just the your environment and you know, tired, hungry, place like what all has been going on, and then you have to think about the fact that they're three, and then you have to think about the fact that they've never even really processed this emotion before, and then you have to think about the fact that like they don't have like the I mean they're smarter than we give them credit for 100%. They don't always have the ability to like reason and remember the last like in that moment of what's going on, they don't have the ability always to like recall the last time that that happened and like think through process reason and control their desire, like their impulse, you know. So it's like the the amount of great grace and patience given, but then also having to discern like no, do I put my foot down and like really enforce this or like that's the giving those important things? When to give more grace versus when to like be a little more firm.

SPEAKER_02 24:59

It's when like to me, it's like when you tell them to do something, they they like say no or push back a little bit, and it's like but they have a reason for it because they like like it's a good reason too, in a sense of like they want to cuddle you or you you know, like something sweet, something not like but you have to pair that with like you listen the first time, like stop arguing with me. Right. That has to be enforced, yeah. And so finding that like figuring that out, navigating that is one that we're dealing with. And talking about the well, go ahead and then we're gonna.

SPEAKER_00 25:26

No, I was just saying that that whole arguing thing is is kind of what we're alluding to, like what we're kind of going through with Jack is like it I would I'll take it a step further and say that we do not just deal with him arguing, we deal with him talking over us. He tries to talk over us all the time. Like he will not listen, he just talks over you until you listen to what he says. And so that's another thing that we're well, no, he will stop.

SPEAKER_02 25:53

You just have to get very, very blunt with him. He'll stop for me.

SPEAKER_00 25:57

I love that for you.

SPEAKER_02 25:58

Yeah, that's it's again, we're figuring it out, we're working on it. It's something we have to get really in check. Um, but talking about like processing emotions and things and channeling like how to how to control those, like this is something that we've done, and maybe if you're young or have kids or whatever, like may work, may not work, I don't know. You choose, but I would openly share this like about him going to his room. Yeah, like it works like tremendously for us.

SPEAKER_00 26:25

It just removes him from the situation.

SPEAKER_02 26:27

So you can take anything that's happening around the house. Like he does something, he doesn't get something he wants, like just he's having trouble keeping his hands off of Tate, he doesn't get what he wants.

SPEAKER_00 26:38

We say we're not gonna watch a show, he needs to clean something up, blah blah blah something, something that he wants or doesn't want, and he gets it or doesn't get it.

SPEAKER_02 26:46

He's unhappy about yes, and cannot move on from, and like just gets hung up and starts screaming and like losing, like just really cannot move past. Like, we'll just take him and put him in his room and like look, you're gonna go play in your room and shut the door, and we don't lock it, but he knows he cannot come out.

SPEAKER_00 27:01

It's not timeout, yeah. We're we have a very separate time out, correct.

SPEAKER_02 27:06

This is just like you have to go to your room and play on your own for a few minutes. He goes every single time he may cry for another 60 seconds, and then it's quiet, and he plays with there for like 20 minutes every time, between 10 and 20 minutes every single time.

SPEAKER_00 27:22

He usually comes back out a new kid.

SPEAKER_02 27:24

Oh, almost always. Yeah. Almost always. But like if you did not, if we did not remove him, put him in there, he would just keep doing like he would not stop. Yeah. He literally would not stop until something else happens.

SPEAKER_00 27:42

Comes into play. Because there are times where no, like we hold pretty firm and like you know, which I would argue that even the removing, even putting the room is us holding pretty much. Exactly. He's not getting what he wants, getting what he wants.

SPEAKER_02 27:56

He just doesn't get to be out there and around us. Like he has to go be ourselves.

SPEAKER_00 28:03

Because there is a point where you don't always have a distraction. Like there you have to deal with not getting what you want or whatever, other than in a way that's not, oh, here's a new thing, you know. Like sometimes you just don't get it. Sometimes you just have to do the thing you don't want to do. You don't always get to be entertained or distracted in that way. Um, so I don't know. That is a little something that I guess we're doing and has been helpful for us, but that's about it.

SPEAKER_02 28:33

Yeah. Yeah. That one works pretty well though. I'm I'm very happy with that one. I am onto the chart thing though. We've got to get on that.

SPEAKER_00 28:41

I know.

SPEAKER_02 28:41

We've got to get on that.

SPEAKER_00 28:42

We've got to be talking about that this week.

SPEAKER_02 28:44

We are gonna really try to do like not this is not like gentle parenting type.

SPEAKER_00 28:51

Oh my gosh, this is not gentle parenting. This is just like raising a child and learning them, like teaching them incentives and correct. We're just gonna try to just making it something physical that you can see. I mean, I I'm a vision.

SPEAKER_02 29:03

And gentle parenting or not, right? You do your teaching his own.

SPEAKER_00 29:07

I'm just saying that's just parenting. Like, I don't think you can put that under something. I just mean like even I like to be able to like when I was at when I worked when I was a nurse, I would write all of my things out so that I could check off what I got done, or that I could see.

SPEAKER_02 29:21

Well, you're talking you're jumping ahead before they even know we're talking about. We haven't even said what it is. It's a chart, yeah. But yeah, like going the positive reinforcement route. Yeah. Like, hey, you do these things for this many days a week and you get X, whatever, or this thing happens, or pick your price, or we can go do this, go get ice cream, spend time together, extra, you know, like do something like that. And so that's like instead of just saying no, no, no, like give them something positive to work towards to try to help them think like, oh, if I do this, I won't get a you know, a check mark here, or if I do this, I'll get something taken away.

SPEAKER_00 29:53

Yeah. So we're just also gonna have to find kind of like what we want that to be and how to quantify it because it's not gonna be like I because you're we're working on the yes and no man, we're working on the talking through, we're working on he acts like brushing his teeth and getting his hair brushed everywhere.

SPEAKER_02 30:10

Which is just a phase, though. Like he goes through phases with that. That's weird.

SPEAKER_00 30:15

But he acts like that is the absolute end-all, be all. I mean, I'm basically burning all of his toys, like asking him to do that, like or physically harming him. It it's it's insane, actually. Like, it's insane how dramatic he acts about it. Um so, anyways, we're like, I don't know what to say. Like, you don't cry when you get your teeth and hair brushed. You get to put a star on there, you know. Like, I don't know, but we have to make it in a way that he understands.

SPEAKER_02 30:44

Yeah, it's gotta be very simple. It's not complex. It's it's very, very simple.

SPEAKER_00 30:48

Yeah, I'm not talking like, oh, make your bed today. Oh, yeah, you know, we're not we're this is behavioral, okay? Yeah, we're not tasks.

SPEAKER_02 30:56

And I don't know. Like it again, my job is like our job here is to raise a good human, right? Like to raise good people that can carry on the country, that can carry on the gospel, like that is what we're here to do. And um something something moving out there. That's what we're here to do. And if we can't do that in our own home, then like how are we gonna help others do that? And so that is like a big focus for us right now is making sure our home is in order, making sure as our kids get older, like they are under control, they are like being reared in the way that the Bible teaches us to rear them. It's that simple. Uh, and so it's a challenge day in and day out. Kids are hard, but they are a huge blessing. And um, Lord willing, we'll have one or two more and continue to grow this thing. But we got a lot of work to do. We are going into a busy week this week. We've got Together and Trades is right around the corner, like I said, and then um this week's 4th of July, so we got a well, Independence Day, by the way. Independence day, not just the 4th of July. Don't dilute that. It's been diluted, everyone dilutes it. Try to take that to your team if you're in a mate, like, if you're in a Monday morning meeting or Tuesday, whatever it is, and you listen to this, like say that to your guys. We did that last week on Friday. I'll make sure we say it again this week. Like, it's independence day. We are celebrating our independence from Great Britain. We are not just the Fourth of July, it's not just a random day. Like, we are celebrating the independence of our country, it's a big year. Um, but 4th of July, like you could ask a lot of a lot of young adults right now, like, what does the 4th of July even mean? They'd probably tell you they don't know. Um and so nuts.

unknown 32:33

Do you think so?

SPEAKER_02 32:34

100%. If you went on the street to the beach right now and and interviewed a hundred people, thirty and under, I guarantee you.

SPEAKER_00 32:43

Thirty and under? Twenty-five and under.

SPEAKER_02 32:47

Twenty-five and under, sure.

SPEAKER_00 32:48

Twenty I'm twenty-eight. We already just established that. I cannot fathom someone my age not knowing when the fourth of July.

SPEAKER_02 32:57

Sure, we'll say twenty-five and under. I guarantee you 30% of them wouldn't know. That's bold. It is bold, but I'm I'm I'm very confident in in something around that percentage. So I could be wrong, but that's where my that's where I'm going. That's where my gut is. Um so yeah, we've got a lot going on. Everyone's got a lot going on. If we can help you guys, reach out and let us know. Um, but I am excited at the end of the week. I'm excited to be back here. Kind of getting back in the swing of things. Um we talked about last week, like our time off, just kind of what just how life has been. And again, like we're sitting here being open about kids and raising kids and what all goes into that. And so we want to share that and be an open as open as we can, and uh hope that you guys get something beneficial out of it. So I think that's all that I have for you today. Is that all that you have? I think so. All right. Well, guys, I appreciate you tuning in and following along, supporting us. Leave us a big five stradding review if you don't mind. That helps us grow the show. This is a new show. It's a branch off of our old uh Marriage Monday shows within Growing Green Podcast. That thing's still going strong as well. Getting back into the groove of it as well. Took a little bit of break, um, kind of the same time I did with this show. We're back into it, rocking and rolling, so go give it a big five straining review as well. And uh make sure that you just support us as much as we can, and we can continue to support you so we can continue to grow the community one relationship at a time here. Uh, but without any further ado, guys, that's gonna wrap this one up. Thank you for tuning in, and we'll catch you here on the next one.