Cultivated
Cultivated is a weekly conversation with Jeremiah and Savannah about marriage, faith, and building a healthy home over time. We share honestly from the middle of real life — the lessons we’re learning, the rhythms we’re trying to grow, and the daily choices that shape what our family becomes. This isn’t about having it all figured out, but about cultivating a life rooted in what matters most and growing what lasts.
Cultivated
Learning to Make Decisions Together
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In this episode of Cultivated, Jeremiah and Savannah have an honest conversation about how they make decisions together as a married couple. Using everything from a chaotic Independence Day weekend at the lake to everyday family life as examples, they discuss communication, respecting each other's perspectives, and learning to work through disagreements without creating division. They also reflect on how different personalities approach decisions, why slowing down to understand one another matters, and how healthy decision-making strengthens a marriage over time. Whether you're newly married or have been together for years, this episode offers practical encouragement for building unity through life's everyday choices.
What's going on, everybody? Thank you so much for joining in topics today here on Cultivated. This is your host, Jeremiah Jennings. Joined with my beautiful co host Savannah. How are you? Medi on.
SPEAKER_01Good.
SPEAKER_05Welcome in.
SPEAKER_01Thank you.
SPEAKER_05Excited to be here.
SPEAKER_01Always.
SPEAKER_05That was a 10-second intro, one of the world's fastest intros. I used to not talk this fast on the podcast. So when I started the Growing Green Podcast in 2021, I talked like this just about all the time.
SPEAKER_02And this was on 3X.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, people had to move, people had to speed up super fast. So when you talk to people from the North, the Midwest, they were like, dude, you're literally talking in like half speed. Jason Krill, if you know Jason Creel, that's a lawn pros here locally. He talks that way. He he talks slower than I've ever talked. Anytime you watch his videos, I've got to have him on at least at least 1.5.
SPEAKER_02But so over the years of most things on 1.5 though.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, and I would love to know. But I would love to know how much actually gets retained on that. I think because I try to listen to Audible on 1.5, and I don't know how much you're actually retaining.
SPEAKER_02I think it depends on what the content is.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, like I'm talking about like deep books.
SPEAKER_02Like a book, I don't know. Not a story. Yeah, a podcaster story. Like on Marco Polo. I talk on Marco Polo with my friends.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that's totally different.
SPEAKER_02We listen on 1.5. But also podcasts. Listen to a podcast on 1.5.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, as long as it's not like some deep theological, like deep thinking podcast.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05I guess it's just like entertainment, like a crime junkie or something. Oh, yeah. I thought that could be different. But um so yeah, so we had to start uh uh over the course of recording for five years now. Um just talk a little bit faster. So that's where we're at. We are where are we at? Man, it's middle of July. Um middle of July. We had a great 4th of July weekend. Independence day, not 4th of July.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I was very aware of that when I posted a little picture on it.
SPEAKER_05You are I noticed that. I saw that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I said he's gonna beat me if I don't.
SPEAKER_05Okay, well, that wouldn't go that far.
SPEAKER_02That's very passionate about it, though.
SPEAKER_05Independence day, folks. It's not 4th of July, 4th of July.
SPEAKER_02I mean, it is the July.
SPEAKER_05It is Fourth of July. I don't like when people say happy fourth. Just transparently not gonna kill you, not gonna defriend you, but um I I I think that it dilutes the holiday. I I think it dilutes the meaning. The meaning of it, um, of celebrating our independence. And so I think that a lot of tough things happen to gain that independence. And I think that just saying the fourth or happy fourth um just takes that and dilutes it a little bit. Because it's turned into just a drinking Friday and Saturday night weekend on the lake. Like that's what it's turned into.
SPEAKER_02It just made me think about like, well, you do you do that with every holiday? That has a deeper meaning. But you kind of I mean, with Easter, you say Resurrection Sunday. Correct, yeah. With Christmas, you don't you don't run around saying happy Christ's birthday. I mean people do say birth Jesus' birthday, but you don't, you know, say but that but birth of Christ day.
SPEAKER_05But with that, you like when we say Merry Christmas or like we talk about Christmas a lot, we're usually like we we talk about Christmas, we talk what the meaning of Christmas is. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02When you say happy fourth or there's a whole season dedicated to correct.
SPEAKER_05When you say happy fourth, um You're not really stopping to take the time. Exactly. Not really considering what went into that, I think is the Do you do that on Thanksgiving? That's the dangerous thing. Uh yeah, on Thanksgiving Day. I think I don't I I never personally I don't say happy Thanksgiving other than the other than the day. And on that day, we usually talk about it of the state.
SPEAKER_02You talk about happy fourth to people like not on the 4th of July.
SPEAKER_05Uh people say have a happy fourth. I don't know that I say happy, happy, have a happy Thanksgiving.
SPEAKER_02People do say have a happy Thanksgiving.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, maybe.
SPEAKER_02More so than they would have a happy fourth leading up to it.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Yeah, maybe.
SPEAKER_02You don't really sit and marinate on the history of the thing.
SPEAKER_05But I still think I don't know. I would say more people do than.
SPEAKER_02You probably sit and think about the things you're thankful for in your life, but you don't sit and think about like.
SPEAKER_05Which I would still bet I would still argue that that is more than what people do with the fourth. People say happy fourth and then go drink and have a weekend at the white. Yeah, I think you're saying it's just because I think at Thanksgiving you still give it more than what people give the fourth.
SPEAKER_02Probably just the context of the holiday, too.
SPEAKER_05Is it I think my microphone's falling over here, folks? Gotta love it.
SPEAKER_02Technical difficulty. Yeah. A little bit.
SPEAKER_04It is what it is.
SPEAKER_05So yeah, that's where we're at.
SPEAKER_02Uh it's been a we had a great weekend.
SPEAKER_04Did we have a good weekend?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, independence. That's what we were talking about. Oh, that weekend. Yeah, yeah. Yes, it was a good weekend.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, it was good.
SPEAKER_02We had We did have a little drama. It wasn't drama, but we went we went to the lake as people do on the 4th of July. And the air conditioner.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, don't don't take that as me saying we don't go to the lake. I still go to the lake.
SPEAKER_02We definitely celebrate in the most stereotypical way. Don't get it twisted. Um, we go to the lake. My family has a lake house, and um the we got there first, which also never happens. We even checked with my parents to make sure we weren't gonna get there first because it's pretty old-fashioned over here, and there is like an a physical key that unlocks the door. There's no keypad or code or anything like that.
SPEAKER_05Which I'm still confused about.
SPEAKER_02Whatever, it's fine. Um, and obviously you can't get in the house if you don't have the key. And we unintentionally, unknowingly, got there first, did not have a key, had to call my dad and be like, Hey, where are you? You said you were getting here first. Yeah. Um, he was still like what 40 minutes away or something. Yeah, like 30, yeah. Thankfully, I will never tell where because I mean not that people know where our lake house is, but there was another key somewhere there. So we go inside, and it was I think it was 87. Yeah, yeah, thermostat said 87, yeah. So you can imagine how hot it was in the house. And at this point, it was hotter outside. We had both kids. We had both kids.
SPEAKER_05A three-year-old and a one-year-old. Yep. Keep that in mind. So we're gonna be able to do that. Very important part of the story there.
SPEAKER_02First, first step when you walk inside the door is go to the thermostat and turn on the air. Because, you know, we don't we're not there during the week. We obviously don't keep the air running at all times. He goes and turns it on, and we're like, okay, we'll get everything unpacked, get us, get the kids a snack, get changed, go down to the water, you know, or we we're gonna wait on my parents at that point and then all go down, you know. So we sit in the house for probably 30, 45 minutes.
SPEAKER_05By the time they get there, we had fans go and it was still it was it was boiling.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we are we got when we had to get in their diaper, like nothing.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So we're like, okay, we're gonna go down to the water, swim, maybe ride, whatever, and by the time we get back up here, hopefully it will have kicked on and at least cooled down a little bit. Because then we knew it was gonna take a while, right? I mean, it was 87 degrees in the summer, like it's a big house, too. It's gonna take a minute to cool down, whatever. We come back up there after a couple hours, still real hot. We're like, okay, whatever. I guess we're gonna keep swimming. Like, you know, we just kind of just chalked it up to it's gonna take a while. Jeremiah goes up to the house. I don't even know what you were going to get, and you looked up there and he looked back at my dad, and you were like, Well, this is a scary site, this is not a good sign. And my sweet granddad was outside, like tinkering with the AC unit, and we're like, Oh my gosh, no. And at this point, so not really anybody else had gotten there. It was like my family. And um so, anyways, he goes up there, and sure enough, like some something's off, something's not working, there's a disconnect to the power. I it took him a while to figure out, you know. Then Jeremiah goes up there, and my dad gets out of the water, and they go up there to help. And uh after some troubleshooting, they found out what they thought the problem was. Um, but then it was like, well, are we gonna be able to get it fixed?
SPEAKER_05It was more of like it's six, it's at this point, it's it's six o'clock on a Friday. The fourth of July, we July 3rd, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so we didn't even know if they're gonna be able to contact anybody, whatever. So at this point it's dinner time, right? I mean, and the kids are like on well, because we cannot cool down. Like the house is still in the 80s, it's hot outside. We can get in the lake, but the lake feels like bathwater. So we just decide they they find out that they are gonna be able to go get a part, but it's like almost an hour away, and then they're gonna have to come back, then hook it up, then hope it works. And so we were like, I think we're just gonna call it, like, we're just gonna go home because the kids were not gonna cool down, like we could not have put them to bed at the temperature that the house was at that point.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, and it sounds like first world problems, which it is, like, but it but it was hot. I mean, it was hot.
SPEAKER_02Like it tape was getting yeah, incredible.
SPEAKER_05We didn't have to sleep there. There was nobody like forcing us to just stay in this environment.
SPEAKER_02We're like a little over an hour from home, right? So it's not a huge trek for us. Um so we came home and holy guy guacamole. Hi.
SPEAKER_03Say hey.
SPEAKER_02Are you up here? We're recording a show. What are you doing up here? What are you doing up here? You're supposed to be in the bed. You're supposed to be in the bed. I've never been so scared in my whole life. Oh, you had to go, potty. Okay. Well, tell everybody good night. Say goodnight. Good night. Okay.
SPEAKER_05I thought I heard. Well, back to the story. Uh, I don't remember where we were. Jack just decided to get up and come say hey.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I know. That was joys of bedtime. Uh we were saying that we were like over an hour home, so we just packed up and went back home. Yeah, and they got it fixed.
SPEAKER_05Thank goodness. They got they got it fixed at night.
SPEAKER_02Uh just didn't cool down until late.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, 10 or 11 o'clock. But really, blessing in disguise, like usually Independence Day for the July weekend at the lake is packed. Like the entire extended family comes. For some reason this year, there's multiple people out of town, travels, like it wasn't that way.
SPEAKER_02That have had babies this year, and so people are a little less like travel, more spread out, birthday things that were happening.
SPEAKER_05So there was literally only slated to be like ten people there, maybe.
SPEAKER_02Maybe, yeah.
SPEAKER_05Ten or twelve. It wasn't gonna be. Whereas usually on a normal weekend would be twenty-five to thirty, yeah. And so um it worked out that everyone was not there because if everyone had been there, that would have been uh that would have been a cluster. Yes, so yeah, they got it fixed, and uh we all survived. So we ended up spending just chilling the next day.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we did a pool day and did the big uh our citywide like 4th of July Independence Day Freedom celebration. Celebration, yeah, it's really fun. Um we had a great time. So it was a good time. Very uh very hot, but we had a great time.
SPEAKER_05Very hot. And now we are what are we doing now?
SPEAKER_02Like right now? Like what do you mean?
SPEAKER_05Like this week.
SPEAKER_02Oh, on Thursday. Yeah. We're getting ready to head out to a different kind of heat. But it's actually we were gonna be able to do that. The trip just got so much better. The trip got so much better. We're going to Arizona for Together in the trade.
SPEAKER_05So we're recording this is the Sunday. If you were listening to this the Monday before Together in the Trades, July of 2026. We're going to Arizona. Arizona in July. What do you think? 110, right?
SPEAKER_02Immediately miserable. I was telling friends today, I was like, I haven't even looked at the weather. Like, ignorance is bliss. It's just gonna be hot. That's just all I know. It's it once it gets up past a certain degree, it's all the same.
SPEAKER_05Like And I was like, let's just look. Let's just let's just look. I want to see how many triple digits we're gonna have that while we're out there. Like, was it gonna be 101, 95, 110? What's it gonna be? Yeah, pull it up. 78 degrees is the high. I was like, I'm gonna go to the big run. There's no way. You know what this gives me flashbacks to?
SPEAKER_03What?
SPEAKER_05Big sky. Oh, yeah, big sky in July. Oh my goodness. It was I've never felt anywhere more perfect. The weather was really there was no hum zero, negative humidity, and it was just like crisp.
SPEAKER_02I guess we're not gonna have that there either.
SPEAKER_05No, yeah, well no human yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that'll be what's that like?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I know. It's gonna be crazy. So yeah, it should have got much better. Um, this is the last gun in the trades, by the way. Um, which is kind of sad. We'll have to do a podcast out there, maybe. Try to recap the the five years.
SPEAKER_02I know, the last time. I've been. Is this six?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, is this five or six?
SPEAKER_02I think it's six.
SPEAKER_05We do this every time.
SPEAKER_0221 to 26. One, two, three, four, five, six.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that's a six, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um I feel like we've done a recap show at the end of every one. So we'll have to.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You know? Yeah. We at least do it with Brittany and Caleb. I feel like we end up with a lot of things.
SPEAKER_05Sad day.
SPEAKER_02I can't believe it.
SPEAKER_05But new things are happening. So I think there's gonna be some pop-ups at other events we wanted to quip. I'm sure there'll be some stuff at Leanskiver events as well down the road. So excited for uh all that to come. But yeah, we are excited to go out and really just like invest in our marriage. Something that we have not something we've never done or really haven't even really personally looked into, just transparently, like if we're being honest with ourselves, we've never really looked into like marriage coaching or counseling. Um Brad and Tammy Miller with Tanda Marriage have come to TNO Trades for four years, I think. Because they weren't there the first year and they're not there this year. So um four years in a row, they went out there, got to know them pretty well. Every year we've been like, yeah, we're gonna sign up, we're gonna do stuff, and we just never do that.
SPEAKER_02It's not that we're like gonna sign up. I just think they're great people, and every time that we like leave.
SPEAKER_05Every time I get around them, I'm like, oh, I want to do stuff with them. Oh, we need to do this, yeah. And then it just fades away. Maybe this is our call to action to do that. Uh, but it is it is one of those things like investing in your marriage is something that's so important. And we yeah, we've had, I mean, man, the last probably we've had the most change in our life marriage situation in the last probably what 12 to 18 months, 24 months, like probably, yeah. Having a second kid, um, just like what that does to life in general changes everything. Like new dynamic on parenting, new dynamic on our relationship.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think going to going to two kids flipped us upside down a little bit.
SPEAKER_05I don't know about that. I mm I don't know if it flipped us upside down. Why did and how in what way?
SPEAKER_02You just said it changed everything.
SPEAKER_05Like, I mean it I think it was the most change that we've had.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_05I don't think it's flipped us upside down.
SPEAKER_02I think I don't mean that. I I I'm not saying it like that. I just mean like I think that it was more than we thought it would be in certain ways.
SPEAKER_05Uh I would say that because of the lack of sleep, that was the biggest contributing factor. Well, we're still having that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I don't think that we bargained for that.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I mean, Tate was a year old before he slept in the night.
SPEAKER_02Hey, and now we're and now we're three months past a year and we're back to not sleeping in the night. You just never know what you're gonna get.
SPEAKER_05Correct. I I do think that is a huge contributing factor. Yeah. Like that's what when people asked me, I was in the last lean skipper event I was at. Dude's about to have a kid, and I was like, just sleep. Sleep now. And be prepared. Like, no one adequately prepared us for what it was like to not have sleep. Right. Right. Because again, it's like I told him having that say you're grinding, right? You're staying up late, you're you're creating social media content, you're doing whatever, you're you're putting out bids or estimates for work. That's like voluntary lack of sleep. Like you are choosing for that grind. When you have a kid, you are like trying to sleep, but you can't because they scream or wake up or kind of like awake but not willing to be awake.
SPEAKER_02Like that's the worst time, you know, when you're like, I don't want to be awake right now.
SPEAKER_05Correct, I do not want to be in here. Love you, don't want to be in here. Um, so yeah, that I mean that's been a that was a big change. I I am I am excited to go out to this conference this week. Yeah, I'm excited to like I I really probably am gonna go into it because I think this uh this year, Casey don't forget his last name. Don't don't sue me here, but uh I can't remember his last name. Casey Statson or Stetson something with marriage 365 is gonna be there, and he's doing two days worth of um speaking, yeah. And I'm actually I I'm gonna go into it very like with a heart of learning, a heart of like teach me type of thing. Yeah. Um not that we haven't done that in the past, but again they do marriage catching.
unknownInteresting.
SPEAKER_05This year, again, like I was saying, all we're looking for is a name.
SPEAKER_02Casey? That's his name?
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Uh I see his first name, but I don't see his um we just name he's a Casey with three sixty.
SPEAKER_05Casey, there we go. Um we've never gone in with this whole like I don't know that I've ever gone into it thinking like I need this, or like I Yeah. Like transparently, I don't think I ever have.
SPEAKER_02I think we've gone being like we need the time together.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But I don't think we've gone being like we need to.
SPEAKER_05Like we could have we could really benefit from some sort of like content. Correct. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like marriage deepening content. Yeah. Um, not that our marriage is on the brinks of anything right now. It's just that like you just get you just get tested and tried. And and we and I've talked about this openly before, like, we still, like, by God's grace, have not gone through any hard trial in our life. Like, we're talking about lack of sleep from a baby. Like, come on. That is first world problems right there. Like, we have yet to have an extremely sick kid, we've yet to have an extremely like ill, a death, a kid. That's been super close. Like, we've yet to do that.
SPEAKER_02And the one thing that's hard to say that we don't deal with like a lot of small things at the same time, which I feel like sometimes you can mistake as not anything. Like, like in our day-to-day life, like we have a lot of things happening in the world. Yeah, we have a lot of things doing experiencing at one time that we have to like balance, which I think is a thing in and of itself. But we've just never had a significant single event that has happened.
SPEAKER_05We've never had an event that could that really, like, really truly could like turn us upside down.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Like we just we just haven't. We haven't had a terminally ill kid.
SPEAKER_02We haven't had somebody that significant loss or exactly like an or a crazy injury.
SPEAKER_05Like it just hasn't happened. And but that is literally by God's grace um of up to today that we haven't had that. And so pray that we continue to have that. Something will happen eventually, like somebody will die, somebody will get hurt, something will happen.
SPEAKER_02We we talk about often, and which like I know it's it's not like the end of the world, but how thankful we are that your hand happened before we had kids. Oh, yeah. That could have been a different that would have been a whole different experience had we had kids when that happened.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I mean, it was totally inoperable. I mean, in what is it what would the word use be? Or would the word word case be here? Yeah, it inusable. No, that unusable would that be it. Yeah. Yeah. There's good there's another word I'm thinking of. I just can't remember.
SPEAKER_02I was out of commission. I don't know.
SPEAKER_05It was not oper operable.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_05Correct. It could not work, could not function.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_05For six years. The dominant hand. Six weeks. A long time. Probably. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Gosh, I was a ball of anxiety. You were gonna pop those tendons. Yeah. And then we were toast.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, but I I was confident in this splint he made. Like it was physically impossible. As long as I was in that thing, it was physically impossible. You could have like tensed or like No, that was the overextension is what he was worried about.
SPEAKER_02So we're not going into that. Stream long story short.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Cut hands, cut tendons. When they sewed it back together, he was like, You cannot overextend this while they heal. So he like molded this splint where my fingers were like bent half on the phone.
SPEAKER_02They were like strapped into it.
SPEAKER_05Correct. Like you literally had to wear it and you could not take it off. Uh really essentially the whole time. Yeah, like you couldn't take it off.
SPEAKER_02Jeremiah took it off all the time. He slept with it off, which was the worst thing.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that was kind of scary sometimes.
SPEAKER_02Uh yeah, because you can't really control fully yourself in your sleep.
SPEAKER_05I forget it was hurting though. Something was I forget what it was, but you hated those sleeves.
SPEAKER_02You had to wear those.
SPEAKER_05Oh, those that's the worst pain I've ever felt, hands down.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, there were those molds. Yeah. You had to wrap them.
SPEAKER_05Yes, hands worse pain. I threw those away recently. I had to get rid of them.
SPEAKER_02You probably should still be wearing them.
SPEAKER_05Probably. It doesn't make any sense. I don't know how it works.
SPEAKER_02But it helps.
SPEAKER_05It was a clay mold. Like it was a clay mold that they put around it.
SPEAKER_02It was for a scar tissue.
SPEAKER_05It I mean, it I can't explain it. It was something like when you put those things on.
SPEAKER_02Does it feel this is like stay with me for a second? Does it feel like a retainer almost?
SPEAKER_05No, it felt like somebody was taking pliers to my fingers.
SPEAKER_02When you put on a retainer that you have not worn in a long time that like things don't really fit and they've shifted around and you can like barely get it on, and it like hurts. Like maybe this I need to take this thing off. Like you immediately when it comes off.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that's how my fingers work.
SPEAKER_02But when it's on there, it's like excruciating.
SPEAKER_05I was excruciating 100%. I couldn't do it. I was a baby.
SPEAKER_02Because there is no pain like trying to put it on a retainer that does not fit anymore. But I'm like, I need to do it.
SPEAKER_05I don't know how to. I can't I can't relate. No, you can't empathize with that. Sorry.
SPEAKER_02Whatever.
SPEAKER_05Um, so I don't know how we got off that, but yes, that would have been that would have been bad with children. That would have been bad with children. So we've been blessed. Um, but what I I do like we talk about this like scripturally too, and like just in Christianity as well, like deepening your walk with Christ so you are in a strong place when something happens. Because it's not if it's when, right? And so like you will you will have something come up, some sort of battle um that you go through. And I think it's the same thing in marriage that we we really like truly need to focus on the next probably six to twelve months is like we need to get in a very strong, healthy, like take on things position. As opposed to like survival position in a sense. Yes. Because if you're not united front, like going into things head on, taking charge when something does happen, then you then you won't be prepared.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_05So what I mean by that in like Christian life is like if you are it say even if you're a Christian, right? But you are not in the word consistently, you're not growing a relationship with Christ, like that that just that feeling, that emotion of of having him and being that him being near to you, and then you go through something, something happens, you are gonna be trying to deal with the loss while also trying to build a relationship. Whereas if you were in the strong relationship, like that would be the backbone that you lean on.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_05Like you wouldn't be trying to build this relationship while also going through the loss. It's like, no, I have this, we've worked for this, like this is that's not why you do it, but that's a huge benefit of like having that relationship. Yeah, and so like that's us in a sense of like it literally the Bible talks about like treat uh treat your wife as the church, right? Like talking to the husband. Like we should be we are called to be one and so unified and together that when we have something come up against us that we are in a force to take that on, and our relationship's in a strong spot.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_05Um, and so I think that is something that I will go into this year thinking, like, okay, I want to actually intentionally go in here and learn and like let's go deep here.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, like what can we take from this? Yeah, what can we implement? What can we talk about? What could we change? What could we um and it's taken again?
SPEAKER_05It's taken this like having a second kid and just life, like business has been tough this year, just everything as a whole that it's happened, like those little things day to day, it's like it's taken those adding up to show me like we actually do need this.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, no, I totally agree with that. That's what I meant. It's like we have not had like this big significant traumatic event happen, but like you have enough little things to add up that impact your day-to-day that you realize like it's not even like you look up and you're like, Oh, I'm on this island over here and you're on this island over there. It's just like, oh, no, like we could use some tools to like to navigate the we did not like we there's only so much that we have control of.
SPEAKER_05A good analogy is like we're both we're we're still in the same boat and we're still rowing in the same direction, but we're rowing at different times.
SPEAKER_02And it's different speeds.
SPEAKER_05And different speeds. But the analogy in that is like if we're rowing at different times, we're gonna be veering left and right, right? We're not going where we're not we're not heading towards our goal here because we're not we're not on the same page at all times, rowing together, right?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and speed is different, and sometimes like and there's a lot of progression to that too, though.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, because remember, we're still in the same boat and we're still rowing in the right direction. One of us is not run backwards, going back to shore, one of us is not trying to jump out of the boat, like we're not there's a lot of different things that can be happening here. We're both still in the boat, we're both heading in the right direction, we're just not always synced up. And so if we want to go far far and we want to like be unified and be on that same pattern, like it takes intentionality, right? And intentionality is hard, like we don't have time. Who we don't have time for this, yeah. Like, that's what we tell ourselves. That's what that's that's the lie you tell yourselves. Like, we don't have time, exactly. Yeah, it's you don't make time. Like, yeah, look at your screen time, look at your iPhone screen time. I can tell you whether you have time or not. Very easy, right? It's a very easy to look at. I have screen time set up every single day. Like, I I have blocks on my app, so like it shows me when I hit an hour, I'm like, freaking hey, if I hit an hour by three o'clock, I'm like, this is ridiculous. Yeah, um, so yeah, like that's I have an hour a day set for Instagram and Facebook because I that includes like some content creation as well. That's a little bit of an excuse that I have there, but still, it's a lot of consumption, right? It's a lot of consumption. If I ever hit if when I hit one hour, I'm like, what? This is ridiculous. Like, come on, we do not need to hit an hour here. Yeah, um, and a lot of you like just straight up, like you're you're hitting more than that a day in consumption. And so there's plenty of time, you just have to choose what to do with it. Um, and I think that that is like something that we have to do continuously, is is we have to dive in together and like know we have to make time here to spend time together to be intentional. Yeah, something that we need to do better at, I think, is like we need to have more date nights. Like we have to set that as more of a consistent thing. Yeah, yeah. Because we've also chalked up in the last week and a half, we're done going out to eat with kids. It's just not worth it. Like it's literally not worth it.
SPEAKER_02We're vetoing restaurants as a whole lots of things.
SPEAKER_05We had two experiences in 20 less than 24 hours. I said, that's it.
SPEAKER_03We're done.
SPEAKER_05We're done. We're done.
SPEAKER_03We're done.
SPEAKER_05We're not doing it. It's just it's not it's pointless. Yeah, it's literally pointless. If you try to, and this is not I'm not calling anybody out. You do, you you do you. Because we we've let kids watch screens while we're eating. Oh, yeah. Let them watch a show while you're eating, right?
SPEAKER_01Why? Jack is Jack is 100%.
SPEAKER_05You've if you've been able to eat with us, you've probably seen it. But like that's something that we try to avoid, right? And if you're trying to raise a kid that's not sucked into a screen forever, like it's so like the going out to eat with him, good luck. Like good luck. It's just so humbling. Um, and right now Tate's that like Tate's starting to fall into that toddler category at like what 15 months now, 16 months. Yeah. And so like he's in it right now. Like he's he's getting very vocal. He's getting very opinionated if he doesn't want something.
SPEAKER_02Very dramatic.
SPEAKER_05He throws things, very loud.
SPEAKER_02He does throw.
SPEAKER_05But he can't communicate, he can't talk.
SPEAKER_02Yes, that I would argue, and we're not gonna get on the trap hole, but the stage he's in is very fun because he's discovering how much he can do, and like his how much physically he is able to do, but developmentally his mind is so much farther, like ahead of what he can do in his head than his mouth is, and so he knows what he wants, but he cannot verbally always communicate that. And so like Or ever.
SPEAKER_05He cannot ever communicate that.
SPEAKER_02Right. I mean, we guess it a lot of times our process of elimination, you know, but like, you know, that that is where like the throwing, the screaming, the the back bends and the tantrums come in when he we know, like, you know, he can't tell us what he wants. So it's just like there's a time and a place to teach your kid how to behave in public, but this like little time period we've just kind of decided to ourselves is like we're just we're not gonna put ourselves in that situation or him. There's no point like we joke, like we're vetoing, we're not literally totally vetoing, but like as a general rule, the four of us are not just gonna go out to eat.
SPEAKER_05Just for fun. For fun, we did twelve hours ago, but it was also like kind of a necessary thing. Yeah, we had to.
SPEAKER_02I don't want to talk about that, but yeah, we had to get it.
SPEAKER_05Well, it was good. What was wrong with it?
SPEAKER_02I just mean yesterday in general.
SPEAKER_05What was yesterday?
SPEAKER_02It was yesterday.
SPEAKER_00There was a geyser in my bathroom.
SPEAKER_05Oh, I forgot about that. We should talk about that.
SPEAKER_00That was a great That was great, that's great. We're going to marriage conference this week. That's great.
SPEAKER_05You know what? You should be telling me two words right now. That's it. Thank you. Yeah, that's it. I did. Let's move on. I'm about to mute your mic here in a minute.
SPEAKER_02Please. Anyways.
SPEAKER_05You want to talk through that? Should we talk through that?
SPEAKER_02No, that's an area.
SPEAKER_05That's an area. Come on, we'll talk through it. We'll be vulnerable.
SPEAKER_02Talk through it.
SPEAKER_05You go.
SPEAKER_02I'm waiting to hear what you have to say.
SPEAKER_05We'll talk about the decision-making process.
SPEAKER_02I just hell no.
SPEAKER_05What?
SPEAKER_02No. The bathroom got done yesterday.
SPEAKER_05Okay, here we go, folks. Let's dive in. Lock in. We're 30 minutes in. We're 30 minutes in. Don't leave now. So this is where we're at. Savannah? I have a very bad tendency of taking charge and doing things. Correct statement?
SPEAKER_00Correct statement.
SPEAKER_05That's how I've always been. It's kind of how I mean like I was I was raised to be like a responsible young adult at 16 years old, 17 years old. I was doing a lot of things on my own.
SPEAKER_02Yes, you were a child, but I've been encouraged to be act like an adult.
unknownCorrect.
SPEAKER_05Went into owning a business 18. No one else did it with me. It was mine. I do it, right? So for six years, 18 to 20, or that's eight years. How old are you? Eight, ten years, really. 16 to 26, 10 years. Like that portion of my life has been essentially solo run. Like I'm the sole decision maker of that process, of that portion of my life. Like that changed in 2020 when we got married. We had like we brought in financials and other things that like we joined together and we make decisions on other things. But again, it's been something that we've probably always struggled with. Yes. And I, again, I just think make decisions. And I it's it's good decisions. It's it's not bad things. It's decisions that I think are best. It's decisions that I think are for the best interest.
SPEAKER_02Like I'm not making I've never thought that they were malicious. I've never thought that you were doing anything to harm me or like putting on the trajectory. It's never like you've made like reckless decisions on it with a negative intent.
SPEAKER_05Correct, yes. So all that to say, we'll we'll again that's a bigger package we don't have to unfold right now.
SPEAKER_01That's a massive package. Yes.
SPEAKER_05Yesterday, I woke up. We both woke up early. Tay was up early. Jack Jack was not here. And so Tay woke up early, it was up at like six o'clock, and she was like, all right, well, we're up. So at 6 30, I go over to her side of the bed and I say, Alright, get excited.
SPEAKER_02Tay woke up for his bottle at 5, as he does, because he doesn't sleep there tonight. So Jeremiah gave him a bottle and put him back to bed, and then you did not go back to bed.
SPEAKER_05That is correct. I watched videos for 40 minutes. That is very true, yes.
SPEAKER_02That is what was happening.
SPEAKER_05I sacrificed. I woke up. I woke up and fed him, and then I stayed awake.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_05That's how my mind works, that's how the brain works, right there. So I woke, so I go to the side of the bed, right? I I did my research.
SPEAKER_02I'm sleeping.
SPEAKER_05That's right. Sleeping in, sleeping in, enjoying it, enjoying that good sleep.
SPEAKER_02Nobody told you that you couldn't be doing that. Anyways.
SPEAKER_05Well, we started this bathroom project six months ago.
SPEAKER_02Jeremiah. Yeah. Started this bathroom project.
SPEAKER_05See, you see what the common you see what the common theme here is? Swannah loves it. She's she's so happy right now.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_05I decided to tear a wall out six months ago.
SPEAKER_02I just went to a consignment sale. Oh, I went to a clothing sale with my Saturday morning.
SPEAKER_05Saturday mornings, I need to start working. I need to get out of here on Saturday mornings. This is when all this stuff happens.
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_05I think that's the solution, actually. You need to start with the stuff.
SPEAKER_02You need to realize what's wrong with you and why you can't sit still.
SPEAKER_05I think I'm going to start working on Saturday mornings at 6 a.m.
SPEAKER_02You need to do some work on yourself. You know what, boys? Let's go.
SPEAKER_05We're getting some OT this week. To the field we go.
SPEAKER_02Why can't you sit still for more than five minutes? That's what we really need to find out. I can't. No, you can't. Anyways. Not when things need to be done. I leave my kids with him to go um, you know, to this consignment sale. I mean, I was gonna few hours to go spend some money.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I was clothing our children. I come home, walls knocked out of the bathroom. Full walls.
SPEAKER_05It was cleaned up though. I'd already had it cleaned up by that point.
SPEAKER_02Did we talk about doing that? No. Did he shoot me?
SPEAKER_05Yes, we did. Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We talked about the project. I did not talk about doing it that day. We had talked about doing it though, because I already had the vanity.
SPEAKER_02Traveling the world.
SPEAKER_05I already had the vanity. That's so not true. That is so not true.
SPEAKER_02In the way that we talk about having a third child at some point. And the way we talk about the thing.
SPEAKER_05My community is coming.
SPEAKER_02We're just like limitly having the conversation about the channel.
SPEAKER_05So not true. I already had the vanity.
SPEAKER_02The only way that the cares, I already have a uterus. That doesn't mean that I'm ready to have a baby tomorrow.
SPEAKER_05Are you proud of that one?
SPEAKER_02I need you.
SPEAKER_05You're so proud of that one. You're gonna hold that one for a while. Please get me out of here. She's getting fired up, folks.
SPEAKER_02This is not helping all the work I'm doing.
SPEAKER_05All the work I'm doing.
SPEAKER_02On myself.
SPEAKER_05So go into a consignment cell, riff the walls out. I made that decision, right? So that was a long time ago. Six months ago, probably. We've been February. We've been with a half-finished bathroom for six months. Yeah. Very, very busy. Yesterday morning. Come on, let's go. Get excited. Today's the day we're doing it. I can knock it out. I can knock it out a day.
SPEAKER_02That's how I was woken up, people. I was asleep. He like a child came and jumped on me. Like like somebody does on Christmas morning.
SPEAKER_05I was excited. I'm ready to go.
SPEAKER_02All right. Are you ready? Get up. I know what we're doing today. That's exactly what you said.
SPEAKER_05And then And then I proceeded to rip the old vanity out and plumb in a new vanity.
SPEAKER_02Right. Let's not even we didn't just plumb in a new vanity vanity. We went from one sink to two sink. Correct.
SPEAKER_05We went from one to two.
SPEAKER_02That was a lot.
SPEAKER_05It was a lot. It was a little bit of a project, yeah. Tight quarters.
SPEAKER_02Three, four, three trips to A slash Home Depot, slash loads.
SPEAKER_05Three or four, I don't remember. So that's what I did. But I made that decision alone.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And so that was the problem. We better turn it off because it could go down a dark road here. You did, but you didn't. You did have the kids for like two hours. The rest of the time you did not.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_05But we why?
SPEAKER_02I'm just gonna say right.
SPEAKER_05I made a decision to do it myself, right? So that is where we need to have more communication. Communication is the key to everything, right?
SPEAKER_03So ironic that we talked about communication.
SPEAKER_05I know it is, it really is. Like pretty do what I do as I say, not as I do, type thing. Um so I communicate, that's like really something that we were trying to work on. Savannah had a kid. She did have the kids yesterday. So it turned into like we're both doing good things, right? Like we're both sacrificing. I'm spending my Saturday working on the working on the bathroom, adding in the the we went from, again, one sink to two sinks. We've lived with one sink for six years. Now we're like, oh, now we'll change it. Um, which is gonna be really nice to have.
SPEAKER_02It will be nice.
SPEAKER_05But that's what I spent my Saturday doing. And Savannah spent hers with the kids. That was just kind of how the roles played out for the day. And so, but again, I did not consult her. I just like this is what we're doing. So it that does not make you feel like a team, it just makes you feel like a dictatorship. I get that, I understand that it's something that I have to work on myself, it's a it's a whole thing, but that is where like that's an example of why we're gonna go like and go into this conference, like, hey, I actually want to take something, like I want to learn this trip. Right um, and just across the board, right? Because we we can't if that's something that is like it that is an issue, and I it obviously is an issue, then continuing on down the road, like if that doesn't get fixed when something happens, right? Something happens, and I make some rash decision that is that turns out to be detrimental for us, right? Like, yeah, then it will be like, okay, this is not good. Like it will it will cause a problem. Yeah, even if it's a the decision that is not again was not made, even if it wasn't necessarily considered a bad decision, yeah, it can be a good decision that just like plays out wrong.
SPEAKER_02Like or just like lead to a lot, like you know, yesterday, you know, like the I think vanity in and of itself, yes, great. But like my brain is like, well, now there's a lot of other things that also have to happen now because we did that, like the flooring and the paint, and there's also other projects that we have started around the house that haven't finished. So it was like I just feel like if we had talked about that first, then like maybe we could have decided together on where to start, or like more than that.
SPEAKER_05But in my but I'll tell you what I'm thinking, and this is like every male probably would, is like, I'm just gonna do it and get it done. Like, you've wanted this done, you've run it to be done. I can I can do it in a day, so I'm just gonna do it and get it done. Like, I'm getting it I'm doing the hard thing here.
SPEAKER_02Is a process because like I mean, yeah, but it's already February. But this was the hardest part of the job, like but now like we still have a good chunk of the stuff. Now it's all touch-up stuff, though. Not done. There's a still hole in the wall.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, but there's this is still touch-up.
SPEAKER_02From where it doesn't match. So there's just a lot more that also has to be done, but I know that we're still on the stage of life that is busy, busy, busy, busy with work. And so it's likely gonna be some time before those things get done.
SPEAKER_05So you but you would rather stay with an unfinished like you wouldn't rather be one step closer to finishing it?
SPEAKER_02I I I mean, I would rather us create more of a timeline of a of a a time, of a season, of space where we can like more consecutively get it done. Where it's not dragged out over the city.
SPEAKER_05Communication, everybody thinks differently. That's the beauty of life. It is the beauty of life. We're all created.
SPEAKER_01But we don't see that equally different.
SPEAKER_05There you go. There's your words for the day. We don't see that when we don't talk to each other. So anyway. That is real life, folks.
SPEAKER_02Um that's that's about as real as it gets. And that's my life. And that's my life.
SPEAKER_05Context.
SPEAKER_02That's what we say in my Bible study when we're done talking. That's my life. Is that how we should end this? Vulnerable thing ever. Just wreck my life.
SPEAKER_05That's my life. Engage my life.
SPEAKER_02You do that. It's like the Disney Channel thing.
SPEAKER_05Kids, they don't even know what that is. So sad. We just saw that today. We just saw about that yesterday. Like, kids don't have Disney Channel the way that we did.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's really sad for them. They're like remaking the Cheetah Girls. It's really unfortunate.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. It's never gonna be the same. Our kids are just gonna be raised on Andy Griffith and Dukes of Hazard, so there we go. That's uh they'll turn out alright.
SPEAKER_01Hopefully so. We'll see.
SPEAKER_05So we're going to Williams, Arizona this week. Uh Thursday, we're rolling out. It's gonna be a great trip. I'm excited to go.
SPEAKER_03It's probably gonna be like Wednesday night, but it's okay.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Wednesday night and Saturday. Oh, Saturday's gonna be a time. It's gonna be a nice time. We come home. We come home Sunday, we have a three-hour drive from the airport where we're going.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_05So that's gonna be like a it's gonna be a late night and a very early morning. Um pretty unfortunate coming out on Sunday, but it's time together. Quality time.
SPEAKER_01Quality time.
SPEAKER_05Right? That's how you look at things.
SPEAKER_02It is.
SPEAKER_05And I will say, like, that we'll I'll say this and we'll wrap up. Like I wouldn't what would you say your outlook on life is? What's your outlook on life?
SPEAKER_02I'm a that is the most broad question you could ever ask anybody.
SPEAKER_05How do you typically how do you typically approach life? I am very confident in saying, and I would hope you'd back me up here. If you don't, I want to know. You have to have reasons why. I'm a very optimistic person when it comes to life. Like I'm a very half glass full in a sense of glass half full. Huh?
SPEAKER_01Glass half full, yeah.
SPEAKER_05That's what I said.
SPEAKER_01You said half glass full.
SPEAKER_05Oh yeah, glass half full. Um optimistic in a sense of like no, it's all like it's like it's okay. We're just gonna eat like we're gonna do it. It's just part of it, right?
SPEAKER_02Like you are Yes.
SPEAKER_05We can attack, we see a problem, we attack it, like we move on.
SPEAKER_02Uh-huh. I would describe myself as cautiously optimistic. I would describe you as more like recklessly optimistic.
SPEAKER_05Oh wow.
SPEAKER_02No, no, no. I don't mean that in like a like an ugly way.
SPEAKER_05I don't know that I I don't know that you would be considered cautiously optimistic. I s I am optimistic, but I would say you're like minimally, very minimally pessimistic in a sense of like you're just a just a tiny bit pessimistic. You're mainly optimistic, but you have a little bit of a pessimistic intent like tendencies. What?
SPEAKER_02Pessimistic?
SPEAKER_05No, I I don't know. I would say that that like bleeds in. Like I I don't Do I have pessimistic tendencies sometimes? I don't know. You think that my like No, I'm asking you, do I have pessimistic tendencies sometimes? Like as a general rule of life, like it's what does that mean?
SPEAKER_02You just like deal with them.
SPEAKER_05That's I don't know. You can't what does that mean? Quantify that.
SPEAKER_02Like being annoyed with them or like something's gonna suck or like whatever.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, to an extent.
SPEAKER_02But I would say no, I would say no, the pessimistic does not overrun the optimistic, but I would say that creeps in more than but you I feel like that's you mistaking my like brain brain works of like thinking through things and like problem solving and like trying to be prepared as be being pessimistic.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, to an extent. I don't know. That's that is an interesting conversation. We've never talked about that before, so I would love to we need to we're gonna talk about that on our three-hour car ride this week. On our three-hour car ride in Arizona this week, we will talk about this.
SPEAKER_02And we'll come back negative Nancy. That's what I was called my whole life.
SPEAKER_05Oh my yeah, guys, you heard me. I just called her negative Nancy. That's pretty much what came out of my mouth.
SPEAKER_02You called me pessimistic.
SPEAKER_05That's so not true. I literally said it doesn't overrun your optimism. Don't take that out of context.
SPEAKER_02I said the pessimism me saying cautiously optimistic is so different.
SPEAKER_05Maybe it's wording choices here. It's where it's choicing choice of words.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_05We will have a three-hour topic uh discussion on this on our drive.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Three hour both ways, so six hours total. In two days, and we'll come back updated next week. Can't wait. All of our problems will be solved because we will have been together and gone to a marriage conference for three days. So it'll be fun. I really am excited. I love spending time with you. I love getting the time together. We uh it's been like life life has been so busy and just like not draining, like it's been good things, but kind of draining at the same time. Yeah. The last three to four months. Like, we haven't even had a conversation like this in a long time. Like, just this like candid, you know, kind of funny, you know, just out there. So anyway, we'll relieve you guys. We'll we'll let you let you go on about your day. Um, if you chose to listen, thank you. That means a lot to us. Uh, share the show. Continue to come back and join us. Uh, we have a lot of things to do here. Who knows what the world hold holds in the future? Um, kids are growing up. Like I said, life is busy, it's it's chaotic, but we really want to try to bring good content out. And we just again we're working through things in ourselves, we're trying to share that. Um, but again, like at the end of the day, you have to put your priorities first. And like priorities are our marriage, parenting our kids, and like running our local business here. And so those are the three things that like run our day-to-day lives. Yeah, and um we try to do this as much as we can. We try to like make sure that this is still a priority, yes. Um, but it can't overtake the the true priorities of like our day-to-day life. So yeah, anyway, uh, I'm excited to go to Arizona this week, tetherandtrades.com. Uh, you can go see what's happening out there. I don't think you can get a ticket this late. Maybe you can. If you want to get in, just let me know and we'll see if we make something happen. It'll be harder to get a flight probably than it is to get a ticket. But anyway, uh, you guys have a great week out there whenever you're listening. Thank you for tuning in. Without any further ado, that's gonna wrap this one up, and we'll catch you here on the next one. See ya.