Everyday Is Mother’s Day: The Real Story Behind the Relationship

What if Mother’s Day isn’t just one day—but a lifetime of moments, lessons, and evolving relationships?

In this refreshingly honest episode, the conversation goes far beyond flowers and cards. Through a candid, unscripted back-and-forth, both mother and daughter share what Mother’s Day looked like growing up—and how those experiences shaped the way they give and receive love today. What begins as a light and playful exchange quickly opens the door to deeper truths about expectations, generational differences, and the reality that not every relationship fits the “perfect” mold.

One of the most powerful themes in this episode is the idea that love doesn’t always look the way we expect it to. From reflecting on a childhood with a more disciplinarian parent, to the difficulty of finding a card that truly felt honest, the conversation brings to light something many people quietly experience. And yet, within that honesty comes growth—the intentional decision to create a different kind of relationship with the next generation, even when it’s not easy.

The episode also dives into the real-life dynamics of parenting through the years. From raising kids with responsibility and structure, to navigating the emotional rollercoaster of the high school years, there are moments that will feel both familiar and validating. There’s humor in the memories, honesty in the hard seasons, and perspective in how those challenges often shape stronger relationships over time.

At its core, this conversation is about grace—giving it, receiving it, and learning it along the way. It’s a reminder that relationships evolve, that tough seasons don’t last forever, and that sometimes the most meaningful connections are built through the willingness to keep showing up and having the conversation.

Whether you’re celebrating a close relationship or working through a complicated one, this episode offers connection, understanding, and a powerful reminder that every stage of the journey matters.

Come with us as we explore what it means to navigate these years with our aging loved ones.

So grab a cup of coffee—or maybe a glass of wine—subscribe, invite your friends or family, and join us for Walks with Mom.

Special thanks to our Sponsor Amada Senior Care Mesa serving families and seniors in Phoenix, Scottsdale, Chandler, Mesa, and the surrounding East Valley area. Accredited VA Provider (NPI # 1558048199) and Trusted resource for Long-Term Care Insurance Claims

Compassionate, personalized in-home senior care starts here – contact Amada Senior Care Phoenix today by phone at (480) 418-5422 or visit us online to get started and give your loved one the support, dignity, and independence they deserve.
www.amadaseniorcare.com/mesa-senior-care

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Aging is not for the faint of heart. I'm Kim, a proud generation Xer, and I'm here with my baby boomer mom Karen. Together, we'll tackle the tough but necessary conversations, share the hilarious and sometimes embarrassing moments, and open up about the stories that truly touch the heart. Come with us as we explore what it means to navigate these years with our aging loved ones. So grab a cup of coffee or maybe a glass of wine, invite your friends and family, and join us for Walks with Mom. Well, welcome back to Walks with Mom. I'm Kim. I'm a Generation Xer. And I'm Karen, and I am a baby boomer. Yeah, well, welcome back, Mom. Hey, did you know that we have done over 10 podcast episodes? I know. I was reading a statistic that most podcasts don't even make it over 10 episodes. Isn't that just crazy? Well, you know what? It's a lot of work just putting it together. We're not doing the hard part either. This is a super amount of lot of work. Um, and that is why I just want to give a shout out to our producer, our director, um who owns Podcast Lane, the podcast lane. So look her up, the podcast lane, and just she's amazing. So she's kept us on track.

SPEAKER_01 1:28

Anyway, very much so, yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:30

Very much so. So today we are going to talk about Mother's Day.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

That is coming up, isn't it? It is coming up. You know what I like about Mother's Day right now? What do you like? That your husband remembers both of us with flowers.

SPEAKER_00 1:47

Oh, yeah, he is nice and he cooks his breakfast too. He does. Well, before we start um the conversation about Mother's Day, I do want to recognize the reason that we started the podcast, mom, is for both generations to start having conversations because we're going to be walking this journey about aging and the from both perspectives. But when we start having conversations, we start to have a little bit more compassion. Understanding. Understanding, some maybe grace also from problem solving. Problem solving, all the good things that can happen when people start having conversations, right? That is correct. So we decided we were gonna do for this episode on Mother's Day a back and forth kind of question, or at least, you know, question-answer. We're both mothers. Oh, we are. So I get to ask the questions first. Are you ready, Mom? Yes. Wonderful. So tell me or tell the audience, what did you think about Mother's Day as you grew up?

SPEAKER_01 2:49

Well, Mother's Day was just one of those days that you recognize your mother. We had to honor my mother. Um, I don't remember it being a really big day, although it was a day we definitely honored my mother. That was when I was a ch, you know, a child. And as I got older, it became harder. Oh, tell me why.

SPEAKER_00 3:11

Why did it become harder?

SPEAKER_01 3:13

Well, I would go to the store and look at all the cards, and my mom just wasn't one of those loving fuzzy moms. She was more of a disciplinarian. So I'd look at the cards, and it was hard to pick out a card that I felt truthful about.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

Is that why you started making cards? Like you are the card maker. Now, if you if you know my mom and it you have a birthday, an anniversary, or whatever, you will get a handmade card. So, not only that, you come when you need a card and ask me for a card. I do, I do. Because it's hard to buy like five dollar, six dollar cards now. Mine are free. I know. So I know that's not why you started making cards, but going back, it was difficult to find something warm and fuzzy or something that I felt truthful that was that wasn't warm and fuzzy about my mom.

SPEAKER_01 4:08

And I did want to honor her. I did honor my mom. And she was a good mom in her way, but it wasn't one of those easy, warm relationships.

SPEAKER_00 4:23

Yeah, I'm sorry. And I did see that. I did see that.

SPEAKER_01 4:26

Oh, is that why you never wanted to go visit her?

SPEAKER_00 4:29

No, I never wanted to go visit my grandmother. So then as you became a mom, what did being a good mom mean to you? Or or in your generation? What did your generation or to you being a good mom mean?

SPEAKER_01 4:46

I don't know if it was such a generational thing or just because of my upbringing. Um I had a couple of aunts that I would have considered the loving, warm warm, fuzzy ants. And I really liked a couple of my aunts. So I'm not sure it was a generational thing, but one of the things I was really, really hoping for as a mom was to be uh one that had a closer good relationship with my daughters. And I have two daughters. So it was really important to me to have the kind of relationship where you could have easier con easy conversations and not feel like you would be criti criticized for something you'd done or the way you thought. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:33

I I did I succeed. Well, I'm still in counseling and therapy for that. That's not my fault. No, I I do recognize that I think as I have grown up and also become a mom, how much you had to kind of change the trajectory, change the generational patterns. And changing those generational patterns is not easy. Oh, you make a lot of mistakes. You make a lot of mistakes. And so I think as I've grown up, I've seen how you were working really hard or you intentionally tried to change those patterns that were set by your mom and maybe were set by her mom, right? It was generational that maybe this is just how moms were. It could very well have been. Yeah. So yeah, what parenting rule did you think that you followed that would raise eyebrows now?

SPEAKER_01 6:34

Well, I definitely believed that kids ought to have a lot of responsibility and jobs to do appropriate to their age, and that you didn't spend a lot of time watching TV. And of course, this was before video games when you grew up. So that was not an issue. But, you know, if you're gonna have free time, you should be reading or studying or doing something besides watching TV. So we didn't watch a lot of TV except in the evening.

SPEAKER_00 7:05

No, we didn't. We didn't, and I I do remember that um we worked a lot, I feel like you had some child labor there.

SPEAKER_01 7:17

I I remember one time you really, really got upset at me. You were teenagers.

SPEAKER_00 7:23

Oh, okay. Do you remember? I I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 7:25

I lived on an acre of land and I had Is this about painting fences? Painting fences with creosote. Yes, you were very, very both you and your sister very upset at me.

SPEAKER_00 7:36

I haven't done research, but I think creosote is outlawed now.

SPEAKER_01 7:40

Yeah, I think you're right. All of the chemicals a little poisonous. But you're you're okay.

SPEAKER_00 7:48

I'm okay until the cancer starts up in a couple of years and it pinpoints back to my child. I don't think it will do that. I hope not. Yeah, I do remember. There was just, you know, we would have to work a lot. It was we we owned a little acreage, and so there was always something to do on the on the farm. Um it was shoveling manure, it was painting fences, fixing fences.

SPEAKER_01 8:18

It was your dad that did the manure job, but I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 8:20

Oh, no, I remember doing that very well.

SPEAKER_01 8:23

So I think that's one thing that um the type of work I had you do, and I just don't see kids nowadays having to do maybe a few chores, but not very many.

SPEAKER_00 8:35

Yeah, that's a lot of free time. Would ri I they think they have more free time, I think that's what you're saying.

SPEAKER_01 8:41

But they get more involved in sports and and other things like that too.

SPEAKER_00 8:45

That weren't back then. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So what was the hardest season of you and I's relationship? Or or have there been hard seasons?

SPEAKER_01 8:57

Oh, definitely hard seasons. Definitely. What I want to say to all mothers out there. Give grace to your senior daughters when they're in high school. There's something happening with them. I don't know if it's the water or what, but we had a horrible relationship your senior year in high school. I couldn't wait for you to leave.

SPEAKER_00 9:22

You probably I couldn't wait to leave either. I thought I knew everything. I thought I was the smartest person in the world and my parents.

SPEAKER_01 9:30

Oh, there's the anything. No, but once you went off to college, that just kind of eased out, became a much better relationship between us. So uh I just want to let moms know. And and I think you kind of experienced that too with your daughter.

SPEAKER_00 9:49

Yeah, I did. That the high school years were were a little challenging there. Um, but that you know, I think going to college, being on your own, maybe, you know, some hard knocks, lessons of life, yeah, uh kind of brings them back around. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:05

But I think that um we've had some rough sections of life recent, you know, in the last couple of years, but it's maybe because we were living together.

SPEAKER_00 10:16

Yeah, we had a hard season and we did an episode on that that after we did. Um, after your husband, my stepdad, I call him dad at times, you know, passed away. Right. You you became very dependent on my loneliness issues, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:31

So that we did a a podcast on that, and that was a rough time. It might not have happened if we had not been living together. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 10:40

Yeah, it probably maybe would have looked different. I think it still would have happened, but it might have looked different of maybe um something like, why aren't you visiting me more often? Why aren't you coming over? Yeah. Um you know, it would have been more me perceiving you asking more of me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:04

So what does Mother's Day mean to you now as compared to as a kid? Hmm. So now I get the questions. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

You may not be done with me, but we're gonna start on you. No, I'm not done asking. I like asking the questions. I don't necessarily like answering the questions. Oh, it's your turn. Okay, so what does Mother's Day mean to me now compared to when I was growing up? Well, I think it's very similar to you. I felt that it was a time to honor um you and kind of make it a special day. I remember trying to make breakfast or, you know, I don't know, I can't remember. I think I messed up the Malto meal one time. I didn't, you know. I think you didn't microwave it.

SPEAKER_01 11:54

You just microwave water it or milk it.

SPEAKER_00 11:57

And here, here's breakfast in bed. Happy Mother's Day. Um, what it means to me now is I just I don't need the gifts. I don't need anything like that. I my kids are very nice where they do um, maybe, you know, do something. That's that's not what brings me joy or what fills my heart. It's doing something like having a lunch together or a cookout or just being together. I don't need all of the I don't need the cards. I don't that to me doesn't really fill my buttons.

SPEAKER_01 12:31

Okay, I don't have to give anybody cards for Mother's Day. I won't make any.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

Yeah, it just means to me having them together if we're doing something. Yeah. Um, and it doesn't necessarily have to be on that day, but you know, it's like, hey, let's all get together and have lunch.

SPEAKER_01 12:45

Well, and that's kind of also I thoroughly uh look forward to the times when your kids and any of my grandkids can be around. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:58

I think that's what brings me joy is is having that. Definitely.

SPEAKER_01 13:03

Well, um when if did you ever start seeing me more than just your mom?

SPEAKER_00 13:15

That you were actually a person, a human. I started seeing you as a person when I started having kids. I think I started understanding a little bit from your perspective, and honestly, it it started allowing me to don't take this the wrong way, but give you grace on the things that sometimes I would hold resent for or anger for. I think I did write that you didn't that I didn't think you were a good mother in, or you did write in. And so there was a lot of grace given, understanding, and realizing you were doing the best that you could with the tools you had, with the skills you had, with the emotional maturity you had at the time, with what's that's big too. Emotional maturity at the time. Yeah. What season you were going through at the time, it just gave me a huge. I I think I started becoming less judgmental of your mothering abilities.

SPEAKER_01 14:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 14:33

Good. Thank you.

unknown 14:35

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 14:35

Just wanted to let you off the hook on that. Um I think because it started happening when I uh when I had kids and and going through the various trials, challenges, joys of all of that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:51

So at this season in life, what has surprised you most about being an adult daughter of someone aging?

SPEAKER_00 15:02

An adult daughter of someone aging. I'm the aging one. Well, it's very interesting. I I am in the industry. I own Amada Senior Care along with my business partner, Chris Keller. And so we're in the industry of helping people age in place by providing caregivers in the home. So on a mental aspect, nothing has surprised me. On an emotional aspect, it has surprised me. It's surprised me that I have to kind of now understand your medications, be more involved. Even though you're managing them now, I feel that I have to be more involved of okay, what's going on? What what did the doctor say? Why is he or she changing the medication now? Trying to wrap my head around your aging.

SPEAKER_01 16:07

And that kind of reminds me of one of the conflicts we had is that you would want me to call the doctor immediately, and I wouldn't want to call the doctor immediately when I started having a sinus infection. You know why I did want to call the doctor immediately? Because they were gonna say you had one? No, because they said I don't see one. You've got to get really full-blown sinus infection before the doctor will acknowledge you've got one.

SPEAKER_00 16:37

Yes. So yeah, that we've had to work through that, those kinds of things. Um, I think what also emotionally surprised me, I was I was mentally, physically, and skill-wise ready for it. But when your husband, my stepdad, got to the point where he needed physical help, like cleaning up after a bowel movement, taking a shower, and I, as an adult daughter, am assisting with that. Um, that was an emotional uh realm I had to grasp and navigate. I think it was a little bit easier because he was my stepdad and I didn't have a lot of history with him. So but I also I had to step into a role that this wasn't my dad, but I was having to act as the adult daughter. Yeah. In that because we lived with you. Because we lived together. So that's a hard question to answer. So mentally, I'm I'm ready for that, but emotionally it's been challenging to know that you're aging, and I'm having to understand a lot of your aging aspects.

SPEAKER_01 17:51

I I see part of this process too is that well, you know, when you have children that are babies, and as they grow up, you can see them wanting to gain their append independence, and they kept saying, I do it, I do it, you know. Well, this is kind of the reverse, and that I've been independent, and sometimes I'm needing help, but I don't want to admit I need help, or you want to help, and I think I can do it by myself. And so there's some challenges there uh with mother-daughters because you want to be supportive and helpful, yeah, but I still want to be as independent as I can be. Yeah. So definitely some challenges, right?

SPEAKER_00 18:39

Well, we are.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

You know, that is such a horrible situation when you don't have a a a close relationship with your daughter, no matter what age you are. And I guess uh one of the things that you really need to do is just have a lot of patience. Because you know, we as humans are always having issues, emotional issues, especially us women, that we're trying to work out. And sometimes you just have to uh continue loving, let that love be shown, and just have patience. Yeah. Um I don't know that there's any one right answer. Yeah, that's that's a that's a that was a hard question I loaded on you. You it it is, it is, and I'm just thankful that with both of my daughters I have a a great relationship. It's actually better now than it has been in past years. And here again, I think it's uh having interest in one another. You know, don't don't forsake that interest in what your daughter is doing. Um you may have she may reject your interest, but that doesn't matter. Keep showing that interest, keep showing that love, and just be patient. And you know, if you believe in praying, pray a lot too.

SPEAKER_00 20:29

Yeah, you do, don't you? Yes. Um, you have prayed many times for for our family. You're kind of the uh matriarch of our family in prayer. So um, you know, I just want to say happy Mother's Day, Mom. Well, happy Mother's Day to you. And what fun are we gonna have this Mother's Day? Oh, you'll wait. Well, we're just having a cookout. Oh, we're just having a cookout because it's gonna be really low-key. That's what I like. Yeah, uh, just just family. Yeah. Yeah. So our audience, if you've um, if you've liked these episodes or found that they just help to have some conversations with you or an aging loved one, could you please like, share, follow, um, share this episode with maybe a sibling, maybe with your parent, and it will prompt, you know, conversations. Good conversation. Some good, I think we've got closer because we've found a lot of things, haven't we? We've had these conversations. So follow us, um, like us, is submit a comment. I love some of the comments from our downsizing uh podcast. So go ahead and just leave us a comment as well. Um, until then, we will see you on the next walk.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

This is Karen, and I just wanted to say thank you for spending some time with us today. Please come back for more laughs, more connections, and more real life moments between these two generations. See you on the next walk.