Boomer X and Z Three Generations Under One Roof

This episode brings together something you do not hear every day. Three generations in one conversation sharing what it is really like to live under one roof.

Kim is joined by her mom Karren and Kim's daughter Sage for a candid look at multigenerational living, now with a Generation Z perspective in the mix.

They reflect on the decision to live together, what worked, what did not, and how those experiences shaped each of them in very different ways.

From a grandmother finding purpose and connection, to a mother balancing responsibility and ambition, to a Gen Z daughter processing what it meant to grow up in that environment, this episode gives a full picture from every angle.

It is honest, relatable, and at times surprising.

We cover:
What multigenerational living looks like in real life
The benefits of built in support and shared responsibility
The challenges of time, attention, and evolving relationships
How growing up with a grandparent at home impacts a Gen Z perspective
What each generation would do differently looking back

This is a grounded, real conversation about family, connection, and the complexities of sharing not just a home, but a life.

If you have ever lived in a multigenerational household or are thinking about it, this episode offers insight from all sides of the experience.

Come with us as we explore what it means to navigate these years with our aging loved ones.

So grab a cup of coffee—or maybe a glass of wine—subscribe, invite your friends or family, and join us for Walks with Mom.

Special thanks to our Sponsor Amada Senior Care Mesa serving families and seniors in Phoenix, Scottsdale, Chandler, Mesa, and the surrounding East Valley area. Accredited VA Provider (NPI # 1558048199) and Trusted resource for Long-Term Care Insurance Claims

Compassionate, personalized in-home senior care starts here – contact Amada Senior Care Phoenix today by phone at (480) 418-5422 or visit us online to get started and give your loved one the support, dignity, and independence they deserve.
www.amadaseniorcare.com/mesa-senior-care

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Aging is not for the faint of heart. I'm Kim, a Proud Generation Xer, and I'm here with my baby boomer mom Karen. Together, we'll tackle the tough but necessary conversations, share the hilarious and sometimes embarrassing moments, and open up about the stories that truly touch the heart. Come with us as we explore what it means to navigate these years with our aging loved ones. So grab a cup of coffee or maybe a glass of wine. Invite your friends and family and join us for Walks with Mom. Welcome back, welcome back to Walks with Mom, where we start to have two conversations or conversations among two generations. But today we've got a surprise that we have three generations. Woo! Perspective. So my name is Kim, and I am a proud generation Xer. I'm one of your co-hosts, mom. And I'm Karen, and I'm a very, very proud baby boomer.

SPEAKER_02 1:08

And we're gonna introduce. I'm Sage. I'm a Generation Z. Generation Z in the house.

SPEAKER_03 1:18

Woo-hoop. Um, so excited. So I am with my two favorite ladies in the world.

SPEAKER_05 1:26

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 1:26

That's like super exciting for me.

SPEAKER_05 1:28

We're kind of with our favorite lady, aren't we?

SPEAKER_03 1:30

Yeah. My favorite lady. So if you haven't figured out, Sage is my daughter. So it's mom's granddaughter. Granddaughter. And you are the only I am the only granddaughter. Granddaughter in the whole family. So you are like only daughter. In our the granddaughters, yeah. Grandchildren. Grandchildren. Yeah. Okay, so let me give some background to the audience is that we're going to talk about multi-generational living today. Um, and Sage, do you remember when we started? Do you remember about what age you were when we mom and I started combining our households and living together?

SPEAKER_00 2:14

Um, I would say we were over at Mima's a lot, but maybe like fourth grade, which would make me eight.

SPEAKER_03 2:21

I think it was about eight. Yeah. Yeah. So it's eight when my mom and I decided to sell our individual houses and buy a house together. Together. We were single. I was single.

SPEAKER_05 2:34

And my husband had been uh diagnosed with dementia, and we thought we could be helpful to one another if we lived together. Right.

SPEAKER_03 2:44

We to do walk together. Oh yeah. Yes, we started that a long time ago, didn't we? Long time ago, long time ago. Okay, so this podcast is about our perspectives. And when we started talking about it, I we intentionally said, okay, we're not going to share with each other before. Before. So this is really authentic. This is like, we have no idea what each other is going to say.

SPEAKER_00 3:11

Lovely.

SPEAKER_03 3:12

Lovely. Okay, so here's the question, mom and sage. What's one word that comes to mind when you think about living together under one roof?

SPEAKER_04 3:24

So looking back, what is one word? Well, it's hard to put it in one word, but to me, it just meant close family.

unknown 3:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 3:38

Family close. I was gonna say closeness.

SPEAKER_02 3:41

Um you were gonna say closeness too? Oh, well then bing, bing, bing, you guys got the right answer.

SPEAKER_03 3:46

The same answer. Look at us, me mom. So then I'll just move along. So let's talk about maybe some of the positives or some of the good things. What did you find um that was positive about living with your grandparents that impacted your life now that you're in your 20s? I know that it probably wasn't always that way, but now maybe you can look at it from a 20-year-old perspective or 21-year-old perspective. What were some of the positive impacts of living with your grandparents?

SPEAKER_00 4:20

Yeah, I mean, even now, I think the relationship that we have is is special. Not every person gets a really close relationship with their grandparents. So the fact that I get to see you every morning, well, not since I love for college, but when I come back, I get to see you and say hi. So it's just a special relationship. Like we just hang out, go to lunch, and I love our close relationship.

SPEAKER_05 4:44

Do you remember back a long time ago when you were in elementary school?

SPEAKER_00 4:50

Yeah, like about our relationship. Yeah. Yeah, it wasn't really as close. I mean, you would babysit us from time to time, but we wouldn't really just kind of hang out and chill together or really do life together. It was basically just, oh, I'm gonna play tea party with my grandma, but now it's like, oh, hey, I'm watching a movie. You want to watch one with me?

SPEAKER_03 5:08

So it's kind of evolved. Yeah. Is that what you're saying?

SPEAKER_00 5:12

Yeah, so it went from just play dates to doing everyday activities. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:18

How did it impact your life in a positive way to live with your grandkids?

SPEAKER_05 5:24

It was actually wonderful for me. Because when your husband doesn't has dementia, they're not able to carry on the same kind of conversation that you're used to and the same same kind of sharing. And so when we all moved in together, that just gave me um well positively more to do. Yes. And uh I remember just being so excited to be part of their lives. I mean, even though we had visited like and and been together a lot, just every day being part of their lives, taking uh both Sage and her brother to school. And I actually worked at their school some volunteered. Do you remember that?

SPEAKER_01 6:12

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_05 6:13

I it wasn't in your class, I think, but it was in Trey's class. And just you know, knowing every day what they were doing, which most grandparents don't get to experience that.

SPEAKER_03 6:25

Yeah. I know that from my perspective, the positive was is or was is all the above. All the above. Uh well, I was working. Uh that was the time that we were building Amada Senior Care. And I constantly was working and building that business. And so you were kind of the surrogate mom for a while, even though you were grandma or Mima, we call Mima. You you were the one that would take them to their activities. You made lunch, lunches for them. So it filled a need that I had and that I wanted to have from their life, that they had activities that they could, you know, still go to and had somebody to transport them to those activities. Do you remember that?

SPEAKER_00 7:17

Yeah, I actually got in the wrong car one time. That was fun.

SPEAKER_05 7:21

You mean when I was supposed to be picking you up at school?

SPEAKER_00 7:25

Yeah. Because you thought it was her car. I saw her car. I saw a nice older lady in the driver's seat. So I got it, looked at her, and she's like, You're not my grandchild. I'm like, You're not my grandma. So neither left. I didn't know that. I didn't either.

unknown 7:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:40

You were right behind her, too. Okay, so now the the fun stuff. Were there ever conflicts about space or privacy? Or maybe even, I don't want to say different parenting styles, but basically, you know, Mima was kind of the quote unquote authority, you know, when I wasn't in the house. So was there any conflict of space, privacy, or or kind of go off from there?

SPEAKER_00 8:12

Probably not on my end. I know I got really in your way a lot playing and being around you. So I don't know if I invaded your privacy.

SPEAKER_05 8:19

I'm sorry if I did, but I don't I don't remember there being a lot of conflict.

SPEAKER_00 8:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 8:26

I really don't. Um I just felt like it was a great situation to live in. And it just uh I I think for my husband, he was your gr you know, your step-grandpa, but grandpa it was great for him to have uh life around him and have young people around him, even though you know the dementia kept taking his toll. Yeah, seeping seeping into his life. But and I know at one point if the grandkids hadn't been around, I probably wouldn't have made it because anytime he fell the younger kids, and by that time they were in middle school or s a junior high, and they could help me. In fact, I didn't help. They picked him up off the floor, and it saved us a lot of calls to 911. It did. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:24

Yeah. So that was helpful. And it always seemed that somebody was possibly going to be around. I mean, even if they were in school, there was going to be somebody there after school or things like that.

SPEAKER_05 9:36

And I don't remember that him ever falling when there wasn't somebody around, but I know it could very well have happened, but I don't remember that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:45

So um From your perspective, she's not gonna be as nice as we are. Were there any conflicts with you in space? Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.

SPEAKER_03 9:58

Um, I think there's times that I felt attention because uh you guys wanted to be loud. You know, I mean, kids sometimes are loud and and sometimes like to stay up at late at night loud. And so I remember feeling tense and trying to navigate, like, well, me, mom, and grandpa are trying to go to sleep, and you know, it's too loud because sometimes loudness and things like that would bother, I felt like would bother. Could you hear us at all?

SPEAKER_05 10:30

Well, it depends which house we were in. Remember, we lived in two houses, and when we lived um in one house, where grandpa and I stayed was kind of a casita type of thing. So that probably wasn't an issue in that house. But then we moved into another house, and our bedroom was close to the family room. So I don't remember ever getting really upset about it. Maybe I was just more high strung about it. I I think you felt responsible for everything. Yeah. And so you were worried about uh something like that.

SPEAKER_03 11:08

I I could see that happening. Yes, yes. But I felt yeah, I felt responsible. This message is brought to you by Amada Senior Care Phoenix in the East Valley. At Amada Senior Care, we help seniors live safely and comfortably at home. That's where life feels familiar. From a few hours of companionship to more involved personal care, our trained caregivers support aging adults and the families who love them. At Amada Caring is personal because we're often walking the road with our own parents. If you're walking alongside your mom or dad and wondering what support could look like, learn more at AmadaPhoenix.com. We're enriching lives one family at a time. How do you think the generational differences affected? Were there different beliefs or routines or expectations that were difficult to navigate?

SPEAKER_05 12:11

Well, it initially um because I became the chief cook in the family, initially, there was no issue because everybody was required to meet for dinner at a certain time when you got off work and that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_03 12:31

Yeah, we had family dinners always at a certain time. You remember that?

SPEAKER_05 12:36

And I loved family dinners. And why?

SPEAKER_03 12:39

Why first?

SPEAKER_05 12:40

Well, just it was catch up time. You know, what did ever how did it was everybody's day and and sharing things. So um it was just a good time. But as they got older and got involved in activities, whether it was in middle school or high school, it was much more difficult cooking because you never knew who was gonna be there for a meal. And now that they're both home from college, it's horribly hard to figure out who'll be there for a meal. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 13:15

And that's frustrating on me because you get frustrated. You get frustrated. I'm like, what am I supposed to do? I'm sorry. Everybody is going their own way.

SPEAKER_05 13:25

Well, uh, we have to consider how you complicated matters. How did I complicate things? You got married.

SPEAKER_02 13:36

Yeah, that would do it. I yeah, I brought I brought another couple of people into the house on top of.

SPEAKER_05 13:42

Not only did she get married, she brought those two kids into the house, which became part of our family.

SPEAKER_03 13:51

Yeah. Yeah. And that's, you know, that was also the navigating of those schedules and and helping with their homework and feeding and everything. Boy, you should have seen that household during COVID.

SPEAKER_05 14:05

It was great. We had our own school.

SPEAKER_03 14:08

Yeah. That was, yeah, don't even talk about that. Okay. So so you don't you don't find anything like negative or downside? Like, are there any things that you would caution people if they were choosing to live intergenerationally?

unknown 14:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:29

What would you caution?

SPEAKER_00 14:31

I mean, honestly, I'm really glad Mima was able to take care of us, but I don't feel like we were really able to connect when I was little. Like, we have a great relationship now that I'm older and we're able to connect more, but I feel like growing up, like we weren't really able to have that connection because again, it was really Mima taking care of us. Yeah. And so, while I mean, I appreciate you working so that we could you could provide for us, but it was kind of hard because I didn't feel like you were really around a lot or you were always like tired when you got home. Yeah. So that's kind of like I guess the generational step that I missed until I became an adult and went to college. And then now we kind of like have a really good relationship.

SPEAKER_03 15:10

So I could see that.

SPEAKER_00 15:11

Yeah. Growing up, that was, I would say, the hardest part.

SPEAKER_03 15:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:15

And and maybe it wasn't because of generations, maybe it was because of me working so much. Maybe. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 15:22

Yeah, but I think like living with Mima enabled you to work a lot, which is good, but then it also kind of like the triangle effect, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_03 15:32

It makes total sense. It makes total sense.

SPEAKER_05 15:34

I think had we not been living together, you would not have been uh felt the freedom to try to start a business, which is always time consuming.

SPEAKER_03 15:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 15:45

And you would have had to continue teaching, which would have limited your income. But yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:54

So there's I'm I can see from your perspective how you're saying that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:59

Well, and I really like your job. I really like you love what you do. So it was like I loved seeing you be happy about your job, but it was also kind of hard because I wasn't really able to see you most of the week.

SPEAKER_03 16:10

Because I was always working, or like you said, tired. I was exhausted by the time and worked long hours. Yeah. Yeah. But thanks for sharing because I think that is, and I'm glad that we're at this point in kind of you know, have that close relationship. Yeah. But it's nice to hear your perspective on that. Thanks for asking. Yeah. Did you think I was gonna get upset?

SPEAKER_02 16:31

A little bit. Just a little bit. How did I respond? Really good. Really good. Was that okay? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:38

Yeah. You really surprised, actually. Really? Yeah. Do I usually blow up? No, I just was like expecting it to be like really tense, and you just be like, okay. But then you're like, oh, yeah, I can see. Then I'm like, wait, that's not what I was preparing for.

SPEAKER_03 16:53

Yeah. No, I could totally see from your that from your perspective.

SPEAKER_05 16:57

How did that affect you when your mom got married again and brought two other people or three other people into the house? Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 17:07

I mean we're being honest. More playmates. I don't, I don't know. It was fun.

SPEAKER_03 17:12

It was really?

SPEAKER_00 17:12

Yeah, playing on the trampoline was great. I love having two new brothers. So yeah. I don't know. I didn't have a problem with you getting married again. I just had new playmates and it was great.

SPEAKER_03 17:24

I think you do well with brothers.

SPEAKER_02 17:26

I don't know what I would do with a sister. I know. So yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 17:33

So um so here's a question. Okay. So let's say, would you do a multi-generational family when you get older?

SPEAKER_02 17:48

Are you trying to say something? I'm trying to figure out where I'm gonna live in 10, 15 years. I think it really depends. No, I think that's a fair answer. And I think it really depends.

SPEAKER_03 18:04

It depends on who you marry, right? Yeah. It depends on what's going on at the time. It depends. I mean your age. And it depends on personalities. I don't think everybody could live with their parent or you live with your child mom.

SPEAKER_05 18:21

Right.

SPEAKER_03 18:21

I don't think this works for every family.

SPEAKER_05 18:24

Right. And and first of all, you know, you were my daughter. I think that helped a lot. But I think the other part is that we are pretty much alike in nature.

SPEAKER_04 18:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 18:36

Do you think so? Oh, I would agree. Very much, very much so. And so we felt like our our lifestyles, our personal lifestyles would work together.

SPEAKER_03 18:48

Yeah. Yeah. I think our personal, like we like to organize, we like a clean house. So, you know, there there's kind of there's no expectations, or we didn't have to talk about those expectations because those were just kind of the same. So there would have to be, I I think that's a fair thing. It would have to depend.

SPEAKER_00 19:08

It would depend. Yeah. It would have to depend. I don't know. Would you like living in North Dakota? Uh no. See? Depends.

SPEAKER_02 19:18

It depends.

SPEAKER_05 19:20

Well, the one the amazing time. I found is that when your mom decided to get married again, that he, Ray, was okay living with his in-laws. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 19:34

That was I mean, you don't find many men that would walk into a situation like that. And so kudos to him.

SPEAKER_03 19:43

Kudos to him. Yeah. Yeah. That that was that was pretty brave of him.

SPEAKER_02 19:48

It was. He's probably looking back going, what did I do?

SPEAKER_00 19:52

No, I think he loves us.

SPEAKER_03 19:54

I think he loves it. Okay. Last but not least, and then we're gonna wrap up. What is one life lesson have you learned from living in a multi-generational family?

SPEAKER_04 20:06

For me. I always wanted a large family, and I only had two children.

SPEAKER_05 20:13

And I just loved having family around. I really loved that. But that is me, and so I think that's something you just have to really, you know, where what are your values? Where what's important to you?

SPEAKER_04 20:32

And for some people, their privacy might be more important than that. Okay. That's fair. Yeah. What life lesson did you learn?

SPEAKER_00 20:44

I don't know if it was I guess it is a life lesson. I just being able to listen to the older generations, like I was able to talk with you and you were able just to give me so much wisdom and guidance. And maybe I didn't really realize it when I was little, because I was like, I'm 15, I don't know what you're talking about. But now that I'm trying to figure out adult life on my own, like you gave me all this information. And so just being able to sit with you and really take in like your life experiences and guidance.

SPEAKER_05 21:11

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 21:12

But I'm still giving her those lessons, you know? Yeah. So maybe just being able to take what you say and actually like understand it. And not just be like, oh, you're just being a grandma. Like, no, you mean the bust for me.

SPEAKER_02 21:31

Okay, so it's so funny. Our our producer said, Oh, don't cry on this episode. I was like, I'm not gonna cry. No, you're crying. You cry. I'm like, that was really sweet.

SPEAKER_03 21:44

Yeah. Well, um, I would have to say that we're gonna wrap up this episode, but if you found that anyway we didn't you didn't answer the question. I'm sitting here waiting for you to answer. Like, whoa, stop. What life lesson? Oh my gracious. Uh, how do I narrow it down? I if I had to narrow it down, it would be patience. I think it requires patience, compassion, and love. That's the life lesson. You want to learn patience, you want to learn grace, it's it's living with multi-generations. Well, you definitely need all of that. Yeah, for sure. Those are life lessons that I've had to learn and navigate and continue learning. But okay, I don't want to get sappy because I want to start crying. Uh, but if you've enjoyed this episode, at least about multi-generational living, and and that is becoming a thing of people learning, you know, as the next 10 to 15 years coming up. Um, I would say if you're thinking about multi-generational living, thinking about it now, before there's a crisis, there are so many benefits to it. And I think it's it is much easier to do that planning and preparation, if this maybe is a long-term thing before there is a crisis.

SPEAKER_05 23:03

Um well, for our um perspective, the house that we had when you got married again was not adequate. And we had to find a better house to serve the to serve the multi-generational family.

SPEAKER_03 23:17

So, again, if you um if you found this episode helpful or just intriguing, thinking about multi-generational, living about the the positives and also the challenges, just please like this episode, share this episode with someone else, and we look forward to seeing you on the next walk.

SPEAKER_05 23:34

This is Karen, and I just wanted to say thank you for spending some time with us today. Please come back for more laughs, more connections, and more real life moments between these two generations. See you on the next walk.