The Aisle Diaries Podcast

Wedding Coordinator Vs Venue Coordinator: Pt 2

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0:00 | 46:40

This week on The Aisle Diaries Podcast, Sophie and Joella are back for part two of all things wedding planning and they’re getting even more honest about what really happens behind the scenes of your big day.

Joella breaks down exactly what a wedding planner and on the day coordinator actually does (spoiler: it’s a lot more than just showing up on the day). From managing suppliers, timelines, weather disasters, and missing vendors to explaining the difference between a venue coordinator and a wedding coordinator, this episode is packed with insider advice every couple needs to hear before saying “I do.”

The girls also chat about:

  • What a typical wedding day timeline looks like behind the scenes
  • How to build your dream supplier team
  • Wedding supplier red flags 🚩
  • What happens when things go wrong on the day
  • Why communication with your wedding team matters more than you think

And in this week’s emotional Bridal Spiral, they tackle a heartbreaking listener dilemma about feeling let down by friends during wedding celebrations, cancelled hen dos, and navigating disappointment when people don’t show up the way you hoped they would.

A practical, honest, and emotional episode full of wedding truths, laughs, and advice you didn’t know you needed.

Produced by TAEPodcast - www.taepodcast.co.uk

SPEAKER_01

Welcome to the IO Diaries Podcast, the place where you find out what really happens behind the ayo and faster. Because someone's got to tell you the truth. And it's never boring. With Tips be your big daddy, I'm Sophie.

SPEAKER_00

And I'm Joella.

SPEAKER_01

Hello, Jackie. Hello. Yay. So another week's gone by. And we are here again, Joella. Whoop, whoop. So this app is part two of you. No, part two of wedding coordinator and planning. Okay, fantastic.

SPEAKER_00

I'm gonna probably come in and hear me at any point because I've got a diet coke in my hand because Alice just giving me one because Firsty went first there and they've got no water. Well, they have got water, but caffeine.

SPEAKER_01

Um yeah, just because we've I feel like there were so many more questions to be asked and for you to maybe dig a little bit deeper into what you do, if that's okay. Of course. And some questions that have come in, I feel like you can elaborate a little bit more.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Um so I know some of these questions are similar, but like I said, you need to dig deeper. So talk about who you are, and for anyone who doesn't know like what you do and like the specifics of your job title.

SPEAKER_00

God, my throat's just made a really funny noise. The frog noise. The frog noise. Ribbid. Um, so hello, I'm Joella from Sarah Fino Learning. We know that. That's what you said last time. Feels weird. Yeah, but if anyone's just jumping onto this episode, hi. Um I'm a wedding planner and coordinator um based in Cheshire, and we do a multiple different variety of different packages. So we do on-the-day coordination, we do partial wedding planning or full wedding planning as well. And we can help you source your suppliers separately as well, so we don't just do those three. Um, so if you are stuck with suppliers and what to get, we can do supplier sourcing and also venue sourcing as well if you're stuck on your venue. Okay. Yeah, that's it basically in a nutshell. But um everyone always hears the word wedding planner. I had this the other week. Hears the word like wedding planner and thinks, mmm, no, don't need one. Or that's out of budget or X, Y, and Z because they think of it like how you would on a film, or they think it as like it's what a footballer would need, or it's what a celebrity would need, or X, Y, and Z. But I think everybody should have a little bit of a wedding planner, if not a wedding coordinator, in their life. Just not from like my point of view, not being biased, but like it just smooths everything over, makes everything so much smoother. Yeah, big time because you've got like we offer with all of our packages, we offer WhatsApp support. So if you have a burning question, like if you're at work and you're thinking about the wedding, or somebody asks you a question, you're like, Oh, I don't know that. Instead of writing it down in your notes or trying to remember it for when you next see your partner and trying to do the research, you can just ask me straight away.

SPEAKER_01

So, how does that work if they've only booked on the day? It still works the same. Can they still ask you a question you're happy to answer it?

SPEAKER_00

If anyone jumped into my inbox and asked me a question, I'm not gonna be like, no, yeah, that costs a amount of my time. No, because I I also feel as well that I don't just want to be a coordinator that turns up on somebody's day and that's all I do. I want to feel more than that hired bestie. Uh literally that, but also as well, like if you do just turn up on the day and that's all you know, you're not gonna know then the ins and outs of that lead up. You're then also not gonna know the suppliers, you're not gonna have the communication with the supplier or anything like that. So that is when people also like see our price and they're like, oh my god, that's a like that's a big price for one day, and it's like, yeah, but it's not just the one day, it's everything else that comes with it because we have so much communication on the lead up, we have that WhatsApp support group chat. We also then do have a meeting 12 weeks out prior as well, but also that meeting's a hefty long meeting, too. But we then also have direct communication with all of your suppliers and everything like that. We're there to take the pressure off you, yeah, big time. So, with all three packages, it works the exact same way. If you just got a burning question, just ask it us, we're not gonna deny you. Yeah, obviously, yes, if it's us doing something, it's a different story. But if you've got a question of like how would this work, we're gonna help you figure out the logistics. Yeah, I'm not gonna be like, no.

SPEAKER_01

And I think just going back to what you said, like people just assume it's it's what a certain like a footballer might have. Like a criteria, yeah, criteria. Meet a certain criteria, no, yeah. And I guess that leads on to the next question. So obviously a lot of venues advertise um coordinators, but as we've discussed previously, they're venue coordinators. So can you go through the different roles of them and you and typically what you both handle on the day?

SPEAKER_00

Um people we we all do different roles. Also, the word coordinator tends to people think that they've already got a wedding coordinator included because some venues do use the terminology wedding coordinator when they actually shouldn't because they're not there until the very end of the day. Whereas like I'm there from like the crack of like literally like 10 o'clock until like 11 o'clock, and I'm there for like 12 hours of that day, if not longer. Um, depending on obviously your ceremony time and all of that kind of thing, like setting up and also making sure all vendors for the day, including your evening food, is out on time and everybody's done. But the venue from a past venue coordinator myself, I went home at 5 o'clock.

SPEAKER_01

Like your day ended there.

SPEAKER_00

My day ended, and sometimes they shouldn't have that name because they are part of a sales team. Um, some venues work absolutely fantastic, like I can name it, I can name a few off the top of my head, and they have a very special intimate relationship with their couples and they do it incredible, but at the end of the day, their first priority still is going to be that venue. Whereas my priority is the couple and making sure that they have a great experience. Whereas it means if you've got both of them, the venue coordinator can concentrate on the venue. I feel like you need to look into the camera and say that sentence. You need to have a venue coordinator and a wedding coordinator because the venue coordinator takes over and will run through the whole of the logistics and over the venue side of things and care for the venue in itself, and that will be a number one priority to them. Whereas if you have both and you have us as well, it just means that we can then take over and give you the best couple experience possible.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. And that in a nutshell is the difference. It is indeed. So that has well and truly been clear.

SPEAKER_00

I think what we'll do is we'll put a post on socials because I have got the notes, but I just can't get them up quick enough. Um, of the different jobs of what they do and what I do. Yeah. And it just means you can actually see. So, like, for example, a venue coordinator needs to make sure that the venue's open, all the staff are there on time if they're included, like those kind of things. And it's my job to do all the logistics and itty gritty with the vendors and suppliers and whoever it may be. So, yeah, we'll do a post on that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that'd be a really helpful post, wouldn't it? I definitely literally could do a grid format. Yeah, yeah, we'll do that. Okay, so can you walk us through what your typical wedding day looks like?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, so let's just take a typical two o'clock ceremony.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, the two pmers, we love it.

SPEAKER_00

We love you. Maybe because I get a little bit of my day. Um, so typical, just because it's the most, it's not really the most, but it is the most common that everybody kind of wants. Um, just because you've got enough time to get ready in the morning, but also as well, it just gives you a nice evening breakup as well. So, from my point of view, I would probably arrive between nine and ten, depending on what you have going on. So let's take my wedding last week, not last week, the week before. Um, I arrived at nine o'clock because florist and um venue dresser were getting there at half past eight. So I wanted to make sure that they were they'd unloaded, everything was like that. Giving them a bit of time, first of all, um, to unload, and then making sure that I was obviously on site to help them with anything that they need. Like, for example, um, it was actually a good job that I did arrive because I had a spare steamer in my car and they needed a spare steamer. There we go. That kit again. Yeah, that emergency. Coming to good in handy. Yeah. Um so, and it was a brand new steamer that morning as well. I'd literally got it on the way because my old one had died from last Wednesday season. Yeah. Um, so it was brand new, and they were like, This is amazing. I was like, Thanks. Which one was it? It was from Argos. Oh, okay. I just got it from Send me the link of that, please.

SPEAKER_01

It's really good. Yeah. Mine's crap. Really good. Okay. Um digressing there. Go on. Yeah, sorry.

SPEAKER_00

So yeah, so I got there at at nine o'clock. Um, vendors then and suppliers, they also then got there hopper state, obviously, for the florist and um the venue dressers. Um, then we literally go from right from there right through to hair and makeup, obviously, with you, depending on if you're off site or if you're on site. So, say, for example, if you're off site in this instance when it was in this wedding, they didn't arrive to the venue until 11 o'clock. So I was literally setting up all the venues, making sure the tables were in the right place, making sure the amount of chairs were all there correctly, also setting up for their ceremony outside as well. So they had an outdoor ceremony. Um, we have to obviously leave that until a set amount of time. So I was coordinating with the venue from their point of view on that morning because obviously weather is so unpredictable. What's the latest we can give it?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Until and from them, they said obviously that set time. We made sure that it was set up perfectly. We also made sure as well that when the photographer and videographer ride, they were okay, they've got everything they need, showed them across to the groom, showed them across to the bride, making sure hairstylist was in the right place. So when bride turned up and makeup as well, it's just coordinating all those little people so that you can literally just turn up to the venue, sit in that chair and get your hair and makeup done. You don't have to worry. Yeah. Um, and as a supplier, you know who's leading and who's gonna help. Exactly. So we will also always do all of that right up until you are getting into your dress. So we will give you a pre-warning because we'll always come back and touch base with you the morning of make sure you've got a drink, make sure you need in a glass of water, make sure you do you need a more prosecco, anything like that will always touch base with you. Um, same with family members of two, say, for example, if dad's on site or if groom's on site or whoever it may be, making sure that everybody's okay, putting on the groom's buttonholes that the florist has left, making sure they're actually on the right side and not the wrong side. Just so you know, women's gone the right, men's gone the left. Yeah, best way to remember that women are always right.

SPEAKER_01

And so I always say that to everybody. Yeah. Although I can't put a buttonhole on, so don't ask me.

unknown

I can.

SPEAKER_01

What side of these game on like women are on the right because they're always right. Yeah. And they're like, oh my god, yes.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. So don't ask me to put it on. I don't know how I don't know how people don't know that. Like Johnny said to me, he was like, I don't know how people don't know that because your pocket squares on that side. And I was like, exactly. But I didn't know that, but thanks, Johnny. Exactly. Literally that.

SPEAKER_01

I don't wear a melon blend.

SPEAKER_00

Exactly. I said that. I said it's just if sometimes it'll come from I said this to him, I said sometimes it'll come from a woman the question.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And not knowing which side it's same with the corsage or anything like that. But yeah, um how do you put a buttonhole on?

SPEAKER_01

And I have been told numerous times.

SPEAKER_00

Teach if you want.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. If you need a lesson on that.

SPEAKER_00

I can't just grab it over a podcast, but I can teach you like weave it a little bit. Yeah, it's kinda, yeah. So when when it really annoys me though, when this is going off on a bit of a tangent now, but when somebody puts a buttonhole and they just go with the pin and it goes over.

SPEAKER_01

That's me. Sorry. That's right.

SPEAKER_00

I had a florist do it the other day, and I'm like, Oh.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you need to teach me that.

SPEAKER_00

No.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, what time would you leave then?

SPEAKER_00

Eleven o'clock. Every wedding you leave. No, in this instance. So, say for example, two o'clock ceremony, you've got to be in your dress. This is physically in your dress. This isn't you getting into your dress. This is you stood ready for your photos by an hour prior. So, again, in this instance, a two o'clock ceremony, you need to be in that dress, stood with your photographer, flowers in hand, bush to bush, literally ready to go. And the reason for we say an hour prior is because that hour will go the fastest it will ever go in your life. It will be the quickest hour.

SPEAKER_01

You'll be getting ready to go down.

SPEAKER_00

It's ridiculously quick because every single supplier is trying to do everything they can to make sure you're in the right, but also like you have to then take into account first of all because your dads, stepdads, mums, bridesmaids, whoever it may be, but also you can't control their mo emotions either. So it might take 15 minutes per one, it might take 10 minutes, it might take five minutes, but also as well, if it takes enough time, you're not then running over to two o'clock. And if you've got to get from, say, said if you're on site, luckily, and it only takes you 10 minutes or five minutes to get to where the ceremony is, fab. But if you are off-site, like your wedding the other week, if you're off site, you need to also take into account the hour prior needs to be an hour prior to when you're leaving because the obstacles, traffic, whatever, road closures, being stuck behind a trap to these country roads, literally.

SPEAKER_01

The TikToks that you might want to do with the videos, I know it's not everybody's cup of tea, but that hour really does fly by.

SPEAKER_00

And nobody takes these into consideration, and nobody takes the times and what so when we're doing your final details with you, we ask you these questions and we got to be. I just think that how is nice to have a breather. It also means as well, if you've got everything done in enough time and you say you've got ten minutes at the end, you can actually have ten minutes at the room with a woman dad and just literally have a shampoo, soak it in.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00

Big time. Then you'd go on to ceremony, you'd obviously do your drink reception, then you'd gone to wedding breakfast, um, and then you'd go on to you'd go off with your photographer and videoographer nine times out of ten um for golden hour, and then you'd come back in. We, if you're having evening food, so say for example, at like half past nine, we would tend to leave around about ten o'clock. Um, sometimes it can be eleven, sometimes it can be around that time frame, yeah. It's just around that time frame. We we won't stay until the end, but it's just to make sure, yes, your videographer, photographer, content creator, whoever has gone home at this point, but it's to make sure that all your evening food and you are just having the best time because that's when they'll hand over to like a night team as well. And also, I want to make sure that that handover's been done correctly and everything like that, so you know where all your stuff's gone as well. Because if you need to move for bridal room or bridal prep or whatever it may be, everything needs to move at that time as well. And if you've got a second dress as well, it means you can get into it, yeah, and you've got somebody that can sit you into it. Like, there we go.

SPEAKER_01

So I guess a big one is why do you think couples assume a venue coordinator can do everything and why you're not needed? Because it's got a coordinator in it.

SPEAKER_00

That one word is really affecting your I don't think it affects me in the sense of because when people meet me, they're like, Oh no, I didn't know that you could do this, and like who would do that? And I think a lot of couples don't realise until they get to their final details meeting with the venue that they're kind of like, crap, who the hell is gonna do all of this? Or they've kind of asked questions and they've gone, no, we don't do that, when they've promised it that they can.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So it just I think there is a very I think venues in themselves need to stop using the word venue coordinator if they are not a coordinator. What would you call them? For a start, nine times out of ten they're a sales team. Venue organiser, no. I d I think that's uh that's on them, that's for them to decide. Yeah, but I I do think I don't think the word venue coordinator so much, I think it's more when they use wedding coordinator. So, say for example, if you have got somebody who has sold you that wedding, who has done the show around, who has got like I did, I had the title wedding coordinator when I was at a a venue.

SPEAKER_01

I'm really sorry. So I've just got really bad pins and needles. I need to move. Sorry, I've been told off because I fidget too much.

SPEAKER_00

So Sophie needs to stop.

SPEAKER_01

Sorry, the mic, it's still happening, guys. One second.

SPEAKER_00

Right, we're back, we're back. So I think it is that the word coordinator makes couples think that it's already included, but it's not, it's a totally different job.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah, I feel like that's been cleared up as well.

SPEAKER_00

Some venues do fantastic. Like I can literally name it. I know, I know you don't hate it. No, I can name two off the top of my head that I I can literally that I would I would sing their praises out the rooftops because they do it incredibly, incredibly well. Um, I think what we can do is instead of me singing praises of two in particular, I think we might put a few up on on as a post. Okay. Because there it there's a fair few that I work with really, really well, that do do it really well, but they again their job is still different, yeah. But they still they do it to the point where they are they will always give the best versions of themselves, it won't differ.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So what makes a great supplier team on somebody's wedding day? An A team. A dream team. Um, booking Sophie Brown makeup is one of them.

SPEAKER_00

And Duella Together. No, do you know what it is? It's it's the venue, it is literally the suppliers that you book and the venue that you choose is what makes it an A team. And I know that that is so cliche and so hard to decide, but you need to get on with your team. So you need to meet your team beforehand, you need to have whether it's multiple conversations or whether it's consultation calls like we do, and it's the reason we do a free consultation call to make sure that we're we're the right fit for you, and to make sure that we actually get along with you and you're the right fit for us because at the end of the day, there is enough weddings out there for everybody that not everybody should just be taking a wedding for the sake of it. It's somebody's special day, and you need to make sure that you're a part of that in the right way, yeah. Um, but I would say listening to who so, say for example, if you've booked us and we are wedding planning and we've given you recommendations, listen to those recommendations because they might work a certain way at that particular venue. They also might meet you and your energy. So, say for example, like I might match somebody with you that is like the perfect match, yeah. The perfect bride because I know exactly who you work with, I know how you work on the morning, all of those kind of things. Listen to the recommendations, exactly. But then I'm not gonna put you as somebody else that isn't who the same vibe for both of you exactly isn't your personality. So I would say listen to your supplier recommendations. The same with photographers. If you've got a photographer that is recommending a videographer that they work with, there's a reason why they're recommending them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

But also as well because ultimately you don't want to be recommending someone that's gonna it's gonna come back to you. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But also they're not reliable or you know definitely, exactly. And also as well, like if they are giving you a recommendation the same way as if we're giving you a recommendation, hop on a call with them, meet them, have multiple conversations with them, don't just take it off their word, take it off your feeling and your gut as well, because that is what makes the perfect team. But also, note to suppliers, don't turn up and be thought you wouldn't turn up. Don't don't turn up and be absolute arseholes or have a type of attitude on the day or bitch about other suppliers or other weddings or anything like that, because that is what doesn't make your team get on. Exactly. Don't think you're the top of the hierarchy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Literally the same trying to help one another out, and most importantly, it's about the couple. Yeah, yeah. Um, I guess that goes the next question. You've answered half of it, really. So it's how do you choose photographers, caterers, or florists that you can trust? Again, like you've said, inquire, get to know them before booking them.

SPEAKER_00

Don't just go off the pretty Instagram feed or the pretty whatever, but also as well, like I am so bad, and this is from my point of view, at posting on social media. Like we're both trying to get better, but we're just so both so busy. It's the last thing that because it's a full-time job in itself. Yeah, it's the last thing that comes to our mind. We're both trying to get better at it, but don't just look at their own feed, look at what they've reposted, look at their highlights, and look at their tag as well. That and again, having those conversations with them face to face, that's how you can go to wedding fairs, like have consultation calls, have multiple text message conversations, all of those kind of things. Even do like a three-check point of like text message, wedding fair, and face to fair and a consultation call, and that way, at least then you've ticked all three boxes if you like them, perfect.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Do you think that there are any like red flags with working with suppliers?

SPEAKER_00

Is it from a couple's point of view?

SPEAKER_01

No, like working. Like I know you said earlier, like don't talk about other.

SPEAKER_00

I think there's a fair few. Yeah. I think you're trying to if you're trying to be too sales-y, I think if you're going and talking bad about another wedding, or if you're talking bad about another supplier, that says more about you than it does about them. Like we said in an episode a couple of weeks ago with Vanessa, like, don't get me wrong, everyone can have a bad day at work. But I think it's the way you approach it and it's your mindset and how you deal with it that uh stand you out from the rest. Yeah. A supplier to supplier, yeah. What about as a couple then? As a couple, if you are just go with your go. If you are thinking that they're too salesy or too pushy or whichever they may be.

SPEAKER_02

I get a lot.

SPEAKER_01

Not not with me, but like feedback is like the response time. Feel like that's from you? No, not with me, but like so I had an inquiry the other day, and basically she's booked another makeup artist, and she said that the response time to her questions is so big.

SPEAKER_00

But then how many my question to you is how many questions are you asking them? And also, like, I know this from my point of view is that because like we have the WhatsApp support thing, is that like, for example, when Paisley was ill a couple of weeks ago, I didn't talk to anybody for two weeks and I literally put something up on my story.

SPEAKER_01

Well, my response to it was sorry to hear that's happened. These are my prices. Yeah, I didn't even acknowledge because it's nothing to do with me. And like you said, yeah, as a supplier, and like we've said, continuously, we're not robots. We're not robots, and everybody's got things going on.

SPEAKER_00

But also, I I think if you are that worried, pick up the phone and maybe just drop them a phone call. Are you okay? Yeah, are you okay? Just wanting to check in about the wedding because we understand that wedding anxiety and it's a big thing, and also we can understand that the closer you get, the more heightened it can become. Dreams happen, all of that kind of stuff. Wedding nightmares are a massive thing on the lead up, but we can understand, but I would rather somebody pick up the phone and be like, just wanting to check on, or you leave them a voicemail because they'll see it before they'll see a message, maybe as well.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, can't beat an old school phone call, can you? No, no, not at all. How do you um suppliers and planners collaborate behind the scenes? Style shoots. Yes.

SPEAKER_00

Open days, yes, winning bears, yeah, showcases, yeah. To name a few. There's quite a few. Text messages. Text messages, telling each other are you still asking each other are you still alive? How are you getting on this one? Are you surviving? Or are you thriving?

SPEAKER_01

Very true.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, that one's that little bit. I think that's the only way. Like, you do styled shoots, don't you? You do them based on what you think is going to get you like the best collaborations out of it in terms of suppliers. Are they the ones that you want to walk walk walk with, work with, or are they the ones that the venue that you want to try and like get to know? Because also styled shoots means that you can actually see the logistics of how a venue works or how a supplier works prior to that as well.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, so much in spa as well. So much super inspired by your creative flow just goes.

SPEAKER_00

Like goes insane.

SPEAKER_01

So this one's come from me, just from my experience. Ooh. And I feel like I wish I'd asked this before. I mean, luckily it worked out for me, but Oh god, I'm nervous, what are you gonna ask me? So we're I don't know any of these. Will you personally be there on the day, or will someone else from a team or somebody else that you've worked with before be there instead? So there's two of us.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. There's me and Georgia. How does that work then? So if we if basically you meet Georgia at a wedding fair and you get on with Georgia, fab, you can have Georgia. So they can't be. If you want to specify, you can specify. If you want to have me, you can have me.

SPEAKER_01

It's entirely up to you. But it also works off your commitments and diaries.

SPEAKER_00

And diary. If one of us is on holiday, we'll always say, or if say for example, if we've got if I've got a wedding booked in that day, I'll be like, but Georgia's available, and I even I can take like the consultation call, I can have communication with them and talk and do over as well. People are fine with them.

SPEAKER_01

So if they if you've been there first part, we are the same person, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

We're very similar. Yeah. Like she's yeah, she's absolutely incredible. Like, I could like not just because we worked together, but also like just the way she's.

SPEAKER_01

You knew Georgia was gonna take the booking because you're on holiday or it's P's birthday or whatever, yeah. But the couple had been dealing with mainly you. Yeah. From the word get-go, would you say, Listen, you are gonna be dealing with me on inquiries, emails, phone calls, but on the day Georgia's gonna be there and say fine. And it's fine.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

I think as well, like, because we're we are literally the same person as well. I think anything that we I would say to them is nothing that Georgia wouldn't say to them. Yeah. As well. So yeah, we're we're very, very similar.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

And she's absolutely incredible. So if you do have her on your wedding day, you're very, very lucky. She's working uh she has worked my family's weddings, she's worked some of my best friends' weddings because obviously I've been there. She actually worked the wedding of my best friend who I was a maid of honour for, because I was obviously a maid of honour.

SPEAKER_01

I bet that was so hard for you to just like be a maid of honour and not go into work mode.

SPEAKER_00

No. Oh sorry. No, do you know what? Yes and no. Um, I tried to switch off a little bit.

SPEAKER_01

Um because you know every time I've been a bridesmaid, I've never not worked.

SPEAKER_00

How crazy is that? Because you've always done the makeup. It's a big deal. Oh, I know. I've never that makes me quite sad in a way as well, because like you should be able to enjoy that time. I know, and they are like, no, so if like if you don't want to, but also you know as well fully what your friends like. Yeah. I think because it's makeup, it's a bit of a different thing.

SPEAKER_01

But I don't know how I would I would never be nasty or anything like that. God know, I would enjoy it. But if somebody else came in. But I don't know how, yeah. Yeah. I just don't know how I would feel or be I don't know. Yeah. I'd enjoy it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I I do find it really hard to like switch off, I guess, because you can never switch off. I can imagine mentally, you're like, right, in a minute. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, like, for example, uh Katie's wedding, she got we we got ready at home at her house. Um, we did all of that. Um, and then Georgia went straight to the venue and was there from the venue. So obviously I was at home because I was like, you're not needed at home because I I'm there. Yeah. Like if anything was to dramatically happen, I've got my emergency kit in my bag.

SPEAKER_01

Like, yeah, so Georgia's not a lie in.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, like well, she didn't really, because it's Yorkshire, so she had to drive for two hours.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so we've got some questions from our listeners. Ooh. So there were kind of like quick fire ones. So first one is how involved are you with suppliers? Very.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, you are very like I send out that final detail sheet, I have communication with the suppliers, they have my phone number if they have my WhatsApp number if there's no signal in case it's on the Wi-Fi. If there's anything that they need on the day, like they literally just contact me.

SPEAKER_01

Right.

SPEAKER_00

They don't contact you. Yeah. Same on the lead up as well.

SPEAKER_01

You are the middleman. I hate to keep saying that, but you literally are.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

It takes that pressure off you because like even just those couple of weeks out, you'll notice a difference because you'll you you'll actually be like, what do I need to do? Yeah. Because like there's nothing. Joella's on it. Because I've I'm on it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Um so I don't quite get this next one. You will maybe a little bit more. Machine minutes for on the day. Can you do announcements?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. What does that mean? So that's say if you're announcing to the room. Oh, okay. Oh yeah. Joella was an announcement. Get your napkins waving in the air, kind of thing. Um, yeah, like it's also your speeches as well. Yeah. It's your confetti for confetti. If you're photographers and videographers don't want to do it, yeah, those kind of things. Hell yeah, of course I can.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. So you're like a master of ceremony as well.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, but I would never take that away from a venue or even if you've got a family member that wants to do it, that's always a good way of doing it because they always best man or groomsmen always make it absolutely hilarious.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Toastmasters are always a good one. So if you did want going back to the dream team question beforehand, my personal dream team would be me, obviously. And this is just from like an all day there. Obviously, you've got your hair and makeup beforehand, with hopefully so. Thank you. But then you'll have your Toastmaster there to do your room announcements and also just to make sure guests are in the right place. You've got me there that oversees the both of you two, all your logistics, all your suppliers, your guests, everything, the Toastmaster, everything, and the venue itself. You've obviously got venue person, you've then got your photographer, videographer, and content creator. That is the dream team in itself, because each person can concentrate on what they are doing themselves and not have to do other people's jobs. Because nine times out of ten it falls on your photographer or your videographer.

SPEAKER_01

Which we have spoken about.

SPEAKER_00

We've spoken about it before, yeah. And it just means they can keep their creative juices flowing.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Big time.

SPEAKER_01

So what's the protocol if weather completely disrupts an outdoor ceremony? Indoor. That's that.

SPEAKER_00

If you are it's as simple, it's as simple as that. There's no choice. No, because if you are if you are having an outdoor ceremony, you need to like your venue enough to bring it inside. Yes, an outdoor ceremony might be your top thing, and it might be your top choice, and you might have chosen that venue based on your outdoor ceremony space, fine, but you need to know that there is still a chance that it can come inside. I'm sorry, but we live in England. I know. Like it it sometimes can rain.

SPEAKER_01

People do get in the head a lot there, what's the right thing?

SPEAKER_00

And also you've got to take into consideration that those chairs that are in the ceremony, if it rains, then those chairs can be used for your wedding breakfast, so they're not gonna dry in time.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Sometimes venues only only take those one and swap it around because logistics and where it can go. Fab, perfect, okay, works great for them. But you have to like both the outdoor option and the indoor option.

SPEAKER_01

And have in the back of your mind it might not be out outside.

SPEAKER_00

Definitely.

SPEAKER_01

So if a key vendor doesn't show up or is late, what are you gonna do about it?

SPEAKER_00

Get another one. I will genuinely ring another supplier. I know, but like, what if that person I will ring one of my recommended suppliers? If if makeup did not turn up, I'm sorry, but I would ring you and be like, Sophie gets his venue now. But what if I'm already at a wedding? I I've done it. Well, I'd ring somebody else. I've obviously got more than you. Sorry. There is only me. Yeah, I'm just like, D get here now. Um, yeah, like I would ring another venue. That's the joyous thing about having a coordinator or planner there. I've got a massive, when I say black book, obviously it's a big spreadsheet of like a directory of basically do not panic.

SPEAKER_01

We can sort this. There's so many amazing suppliers that we can get here. Exactly. Okay. Massively.

SPEAKER_00

Between us, you'll be fine.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So before we move on to a bridal spiral, and this might be difficult because when you get put on the spot, it is like, ugh. So just tell me. No won't get comfy then. Talk to me. Um tell me about the worst wedding day issue you've handled. Like what went wrong and what did you do? I know it's really hard when you're on the spot. I know, and we've already spoken about the dress situation. I mean, if you haven't got one, it's fine. I do know when you get put on the spot, it's really hard. I don't think there is a worst one that I've had.

SPEAKER_00

Anything with like suppliers that's been a little bit like tri tricky or challenging or it's not a worse one, but I've had a couple of suppliers in the past speak to other suppliers disgracefully.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But I think you've already spoken about that.

SPEAKER_01

And that's fine.

SPEAKER_00

That's fine. Okay, let's move on. Actually, hang on. I've had something happen, but I've not I don't think the bride and groom knew about this actually. Um singing waiters, and everyone was singing their napkins around and there was candles around. One of the candles flew into a scar on my hand, um, flew into the candle, set on fire, and I literally just grabbed it and just stamped it out. But that's the only thing I can think of off the top of my head. Oh my word. Yeah, that's really but I was literally stood next to it as it happened, so it was just fate. Yeah. Um but I don't think I've had anything like dramatically. No, that's good. I'm pleased. It's always a hard one, isn't it? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I mean things happen all the time, but it's like how mentally how that problem solver, so like I'm just like, yeah. Okay, so let's finish it up with the best thing ever, and it's a bridal spiral. I know this one's quite big. I'm assuming we're doing that one. Yes, we hit me. Ah but thank you for sharing all that, by the way. I hope it has loved it.

SPEAKER_00

I feel like we needed that, yes, from part one. So this is long, guys. So just um buckle up and just wait with you, wait with us. So it's kind of as this gorgeous, gorgeous bride has said, it's kind of a bridal spiral, but mostly it's just events. So I feel like this kind of needs to get out into the open and also we just need to have a conversation about it. How are you dealing with people disappointing you? I know no one will care about our wedding as much as we do, but as someone who goes out of her way to make people feel special, I'm always disappointed by people not returning their love. We've been really lucky with people RSVPing, yes, for our wedding, so I take that as a positive. But my fiancee is helping to plan his stagdo. He has a close group of friends, and all except one person is going. They're all keen on getting involved, talking about the plans, and have all paid up for it already. He's really excited about it, and I'm so so so happy for him because he deserves all the love in the world and is honestly the nicest guy you'll ever meet. Joela, he's a gently gentle giant, literally. This is one of my brides, so that's why that's in there. Sorry guys. Um, and I can say hands-on when I've met the both of these, they are the loveliest couple as well.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

All my couples are lovely, but yeah, they're lovely. Um, hi honey, because you know who you are. Because I know you listen. Um, my maid of honour is amazing and so enthusiastic about the wedding and making me feel good. And honestly, no one else is. My other bridesmaids, family members, don't really seem interested, but I can deal with them. Part two incoming. I'm not allowed in my Hen Hendo group chat. My maid of honour is in charge, and I trust her completely. I gave her a list of 14 people I'd love to be there, and already six have said they can't make it. Half don't even have an excuse, and only one has had the decency to contact me directly to let me know. I found out about the rest of my maid of honour. It's still not been fully confirmed yet, but there are about three to four people still as well, on top of that, on the fence about still going. So that's ten people out of 14. Yeah. She first sent them the date back in January, and it isn't happening until August. We're now in April slash May. Yeah, you need to know numbers. You need to know numbers. Bear in mind, I don't want a full big weekend or anything. I just want one night of fun. One single night.

SPEAKER_02

Local.

SPEAKER_00

Don't know if it's local, but just one single night. I'm guessing it will be local. Oh, May. It just feels like there's no point doing it at all if it's only going to be me and my Bryce Mays going. And I'm just sad that no one seems to be showing up for me. This feels like one big event in my life that I want people to be there for me.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and I know I think she's listened to another episode where I've gone like no one will be as interested as you. You're right. Yeah. But with specific events like a Hendu, they fucking well should be as your friends. Yeah. So yeah, I feel like I've contradicted something I've said there, but it's your Hendoo.

SPEAKER_00

It's yeah, I we'll come on to that in a second. So it gets there's still more left. This feels like one big event in my life that I want people to be there for for me, and the Hendu is just a part of that. I'm not really big on attention, I just want to feel loved. I don't even make a fuss about birthdays. Sorry, this is so long. I guess I just wanted to event about feeling let down and disappointed by people. I would drop it who I would drop everything for, but they won't do this for me. They're all coming to the wedding, so I still got to celebrate with them, but it's hard to feel excited about my hen do or my fiance's stag do when my hen is still turning out the way is isn't turning out the way I hoped. I don't ask a lot of my friends, and I know everyone has their own lives to manage. I'm just sad. Any advice on how to manage disappointment? I really just want to cancel the whole hen do at this point rather than say the environments, embarrassment of no one showing up. I obviously replied to this saying we're recording the pod today. Do you mind if I answer it? And she said that's absolutely fine. She actually just put the update, is I cancelled it.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god, that is like I just feel like I need to sit and think about that for like a second.

SPEAKER_00

For me, that breaks my heart because I know how lovely she is. And not that that should that's really bad. It's really bad.

SPEAKER_01

I don't really I literally have no words like other than that's really, really sad and bad.

SPEAKER_00

Do you know what is? If your friend is having Hendoo and you can't make it, at least have the fucking decency to pop them a message.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I'm sorry, but I know, and why?

SPEAKER_01

But also a night out isn't their thing, right? I'm just putting the shoe on another ball.

SPEAKER_00

So my what what my solution would be is because you've said that would be don't cancel it, but maybe get your maid of honours, put into the group chat. Look, I know there's a lot of the vibe. I know I know there's a lot of people that are not able to make it because it's a night out. If we were to do something in the daytime, would that change people's opinions? Because I know that X, Y, and Z, I'm not gonna say the bride's name, but that she insert name here, um, wants to have you all there and is kind of And wants to be. And maybe if you just say that it hasn't come from even you directly, but maybe if your maid of honour says something like, I can just feel her disappointment that not everybody's coming to the Hendu, and I want her to be able to have the best day possible. Is there a chance that we can do something different?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and this maid of honour seems like an absolute gem. So, you know, if if she does want the night out, maybe them two can do that too.

SPEAKER_00

Me and Sofa'll come.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, we don't get how much. They they could do that, and then they think of something else that suits God 10 or the 14 people. I can't believe 10 people are like nah, or not even replaying. I know. Like that's atrocious, it's attention. Do you know what I mean? Like that's really sad.

SPEAKER_00

I can understand the odd one, fine, because it's always things come up, people are busy, life happens, and you might not a night out of the house.

SPEAKER_01

And I've been that friend in that group that Yeah, and that's normal. Yeah. But for nearly all of them, I know have they got a separate chat going? And it would make my brain fall off. I don't I uh yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like, are they all talking like feeling it?

SPEAKER_00

No, I wouldn't go that far, but as in like I would I the way that I would do it would be that I would approach it in maybe your maid of honour giving another suggestion on what to do. Yeah, but that's the next yeah, and just taking it from there and maybe her saying something to everybody as well, because I I do feel like something has to be said about this because they need to know that you feel a certain way because you don't want to get to the wedding and feel really deflated.

SPEAKER_01

I think of this, I think she'll still have that feeling after the wedding, and she'll look at everybody. Else having a hand and go, I didn't have that. And you'll feel sad after that. But you know what?

SPEAKER_00

I would do is change your mindset on it is change your mindset a little bit on it to the to the point that whoever you do have there are the people that matter to you. And I always say this like a a wedding will either make or break a friendship. It's the same as like a baby, it's the same as a big event in your life. And I do think that you will know the people that will stick by you from this big time. Yeah. And it doesn't mean that life's over, it doesn't mean that and yes, it's disappointing unfortunately. Your circle just gets a little bit smaller and a little bit tighter.

SPEAKER_01

I don't I feel really bad, but I feel so shit on it. Hopefully that helps.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I would maybe first of all get your maid of honour just to pop something in the group chat. Say how you're say how you're feeling from her. Well, I would say still say something how you're feeling from her and and say that that's the reason that you cancelled it and see if they'll do something different because you want to be able to feel the love and you need to be able to, and also your maid of honour will make you feel that way no matter what as well. No matter what you do, and whether it's just with her and parents or whether it's just with her. Just have the best time in whatever you do and just make it about you because you deserve that opportunity.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_00

And you deserve that day.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Okay. And on that note, I know we'll leave it there.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you so much, honey. I wish I could give you a big virtual haul. I know so so where can everybody find us?

SPEAKER_01

Well, they can find us on our email, which is theislediaries podcast at gmail.com.

SPEAKER_00

She rem I wanted to get that in there.

unknown

Hallelujah.

SPEAKER_00

Can we just have like some music inserted here, please, Isla? And where else, Joella? Um, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and it's at the Isle Diaries Podcast. Yep.

SPEAKER_01

Any bridal spirals, any questions, tips, tricks, feedback from us? Submit, submit, submit. Yeah, on all of those platforms or in any comments, and we will do our best to answer them. Where can they find you, Joella?

SPEAKER_00

They can find me. Well, they can find me, you can all find me. Um, at Serafina Weddings underscore on Instagram and at Serafina Weddings on TikTok and Facebook. What about you, Soph? Where can I all find you?

SPEAKER_01

TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook. Um, and that is Sophie.brown.makeup, and then the sister page is sp.bridalmakeup. Thank you so much, guys.