Joella goes on a rampage! Things That Shouldn't Cost Extra at Weddings

This week on The Aisle Diaries Podcast, Sophie is back from her Greek getaway, Joella survives 10 days of toddler chaos, and we're diving headfirst into one of the biggest wedding planning frustrations: hidden costs.

From cake-cutting fees and corkage charges to venue extras that seem to appear out of nowhere, we're discussing what should (and shouldn't) cost extra in the wedding industry. We also share our thoughts on supplier boundaries, travel fees, wedding planner misconceptions, and the reality behind the pricing couples often question.

Plus, we're reading your listener submissions, bridal spirals, and the wedding charges that left you completely baffled.

If you're currently planning a wedding, this episode is packed with honest insights, industry truths, and plenty of laughs along the way.

Follow us on Instagram @theaislediariespodcast and send your Bridal Spirals to theaislediariespodcast@gmail.com

Produced by TAEPodcast - www.taepodcast.co.uk

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Welcome to the IO Diaries Podcast, the place where you find out what really happens behind the chaos and cryphatic. Because someone's got to tell you the truth, and it's never boring. With tips for your big day, I'm Sophie and I'm Joella. Hello! Hello! Welcome back, honey, to the UK. Yay! I feel like you've been gone for ages. But everybody knows it'll be nothing.

SPEAKER_00 0:28

I know. But for I mean it has it literally was like a week, but But I haven't seen you in two. Yeah. And a lot has happened since being back. I feel like, oh my god. But the most important thing is, did you have a good time with it? Yeah, I did. It was really nice. Really nice and chilled. Good. Yeah, just literally a big chill. But coming back has just been a whirlwind. I feel like I've not even been away. Big shock to the system.

SPEAKER_01 0:56

Well, I worked when I was over there steadily. I know you did because you were texting me and I was like, Sophie, stop. I know. I was like, I'm not replying because you're on holiday.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

Um but I worked like leisurely and it's different, isn't it? Like Yeah. It's quite nice catching up around the pool, not rushing, catching up when you can in the car. In between clients. Yeah. So no, it was really, really nice, thank you. How have you been? Um I've been good. God, what's happened since you?

SPEAKER_01 1:25

So when we recorded the last pod, I got a call halfway through, didn't we? Yes. And Paisley had hand, foot and mouth. So I've then had ten days of her having hand, foot and mouth, and then she's been back in nursery and I've been trying to catch up. Is she okay? She's fine. She was fine anyway. Yeah, she didn't really have it, have like she didn't have it as like some people do where it's like full force.

SPEAKER_00 1:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:49

She literally had it and it was like she was fine, and good god, like 10 days. Like, I love my child, but having the toddler that is running around carnage and you don't leave the house, and you like you're trying to watch out. And I was trying to watch what she touches, and I was hand sanitizing myself because I had weddings and it was just like never ending.

SPEAKER_00 2:11

I was like, stay away from me. So she's going back to nursery now.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

She's gone back to nursery, she's fine. Amazing. She's um she's absolutely fine. But going back to nursery, I literally was like, bye, yeah, God.

SPEAKER_00 2:22

And like I love you, but bye. Yeah, nobody's in the house.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

They were like, I bet you're kind of happy in a way, and I was like, I am, but I do I do miss her.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

Yeah, but still, you definitely need the downtime.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

And because she's like just starting to, she's so like talkative at the minute.

SPEAKER_00 2:40

And you can't really have your own conversation, can you, without them interfering?

SPEAKER_01 2:45

No, and then it's also like it's like we voice note and Paisley will go, Aye, down the phone. I'm like, then just voice note Sophie for just two seconds, honey. And she's like, ah yeah, hi yeah, and then she tries to say Sophie, and it goes, No, bless her. She's gonna get involved.

SPEAKER_00 3:01

I know she's on the podcast next.

SPEAKER_01 3:03

Honestly, that girl is gonna talk just like me, like for Britain. Like, you can't show up. She can she it's really funny.

SPEAKER_00 3:10

Like, it's like talking to a minion because she's like and then you'll get one word and be like, uh Yeah, and then it'll be water, and it'd be ah, okay. Yeah, in her head, she's saying, Mummy, I would love some water.

SPEAKER_01 3:22

But then, like, so what did I start doing? I started going, Uno, das, and she starts going, Uno, das back to me.

SPEAKER_00 3:31

What was she like over the weekend? Because you went to Wales, didn't you?

SPEAKER_01 3:35

Yeah, she was really good. She was oh, she was brilliant. She's way too big for her travel cart. Oh, she's the length of that travel cot, so like she's like ping ping ping, and she'll she'll move around in her sleep. And in that travel cot, she just couldn't. Um at one point I did find her and like she's 360, and I was like, How the hell have you done that? No. Um but yeah, she was really good, and it's just like even Was the weather miserable? It was okay. It was there was a mixture of like rain, thunderstorms, lightning, sunshine. It was like a bit of everything. Um, but like when we were walking back to the car, there was a steam train thing that was coming back, and she just went choo-choo! And I was like, I could cry at you right now.

SPEAKER_00 4:18

Oh, how cute.

SPEAKER_01 4:19

Um super, super cute. But yeah, it was really good.

SPEAKER_00 4:23

Oh, good.

SPEAKER_01 4:23

How was your Holly Bobs? Did you have fun?

SPEAKER_00 4:26

Yeah, no, lots of fun. Um well I won't I don't really know about fun, it was just like pure zen. It was bit in the middle of nowhere. That's what you need. Yeah, that's what everybody said. However, I was like, I have cabin fever. We've been to Crete three times. I love Greece, it's like our place, but I wouldn't go back to the area we we went. It was like there was literally nothing there. No. Um yeah, so we flew into Heraclium, like I said, been like three other times prior to this, but different areas, and then I did my research, obviously, and it did say, like, you know, it's literally in the hills, the hotel, um, but there is like a small town that's 30 minutes away. So I was like, that's fine, and then it said the transfer was gonna be an hour and a half, so we'd prep for that. It wasn't, the transfer was two hours. Oh no, and then um the village was an hour's walk. Yeah. Oh my god. So we literally didn't see anything really other than the hotel, which is lovely, and it did force me to stop because I am I'm not being funny, but you I think that that was like the perfect thing for you. Everybody has said that, but then I was doing Ethan's heading like on day four. I was like, please give me hire a car, please give me hire a car. He was like, just relaxed. I was like, I am really relaxed, like I'm not I'm not saying I want to go out and party, like, and I'm like, I just want to see more than the hotel. Yeah. I did. And he was like, Oh no, I'm not keen, no no. He was like, I'd have to drive. And I was like, Why is the car hire so cheap? And basically it was like 90 euros for two days, and I was like, ah, this is why, because there's literally nothing here. Um and then it got to like day, I think it was five or six, and um Ethan was like, Oh, we should have hired that car, shouldn't we?

SPEAKER_03 6:16

And I was like, No, Ethan!

SPEAKER_01 6:19

I know, um which really annoyed me, but I do think it was a blessing in disguise because I think it was for me to just read and and actually like listen to your head, listen to your own thoughts, yeah, switch off because like even now you've just proven to yourself how busy you are, and I don't have been doing it, you don't you're me this time last year, and I've had to now, and even Georgia said it to me last week, she was like, I've seen you've been scheduling it because we have our shared diary, and she was like, I've seen you've been scheduling the gym, you've been scheduling X, Y, and Z. And I was like, I have to, because if not, it doesn't happen. No, but I feel like you need to actually set time. I have to do nothing here, and yeah, it's the nothing not get the FOMO of missing out.

SPEAKER_00 7:03

I know it's the nothing thing that I'm just like I literally was up at half five this morning doing my routine, I have my routine, and it goes, you know, it's fine, it works, but I don't have. I haven't found the switch off. Uh-huh. And it's a lot. And I think like my family came around, they were like, I'm worried, like you're just gonna honestly My switch off was was having pee. I think that's what it's gonna take.

SPEAKER_01 7:28

Yeah, my switch off was having pee and realising that it's not just me. No even though it's obviously always a mean Johnny, but it's not just me. No, like I have to switch off for somebody else. Like now on a Tuesday, that's it, no.

SPEAKER_00 7:40

Yeah, yeah. I'm excited for Wednesday, I've got a day off.

SPEAKER_01 7:43

Good, and yeah, but when you say day off, this is the thing, it's not you do admin, you've even voice noted me this morning, and you're like, ah, I'm scheduling an admin for Wednesday when I'm off, and I'm like, that's not a day off. It's the only time we catch. Okay, so you need to schedule a day for admin. I know and a day.

SPEAKER_00 7:58

And then a day for actually and just like I living in the moment! Yeah, like I literally like I don't have time to do anything.

SPEAKER_01 8:08

It's gonna be a good old solid solid solid telling. Oh my god, I can't get out of here.

SPEAKER_00 8:14

My doors just need to be padlocked in my home and then be like, you literally can't get out of the forced to sit still.

SPEAKER_01 8:21

No, you need to be, but I'm the same as you, like I've always been a hundred miles an hour. And last wedding season I was like, if we've got a child, this isn't how it can be.

SPEAKER_00 8:34

You know, you can't finish on that.

SPEAKER_01 8:35

Slow down a hell of a lot in the sense of just setting boundaries with myself. So like I'm that person that will have phone calls with couples every single night if I could at half past seven because I know Paisy's in bed, and like, but I'm like, no, that's me and Johnny time. Yeah, like that's that's it. This phone's going on silent so that I don't get any butters. It's the supp it's the supplier group chat. Um the one I'm in. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

Have you uh got muted as soon as I'm putting it right anyway. Enough about me and moaning that I'm tired all the time. Um so this episode is things that shouldn't cost extra in the wedding industry.

SPEAKER_01 9:19

This is where I'm gonna get really annoyed because like we've had a lot come in on this one. Like a lot. I'm gonna get really pissed off in the nicest way possible, so just brace yourself because I feel like there are so many hidden costs with certain people, especially freaking venues, that it shouldn't be.

SPEAKER_00 9:43

I don't go why you're just not opening honest. I know. Yeah, so we'll we'll do a supplier section and then we'll do a couple section. So the supplier question we'll start with, seeing it is we've got so much built-up energy, Joella. So I'm just gonna kick it off.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

I spent like five hours in the car, like having thoughts to myself.

SPEAKER_00 10:06

Like I feel like a rage room.

SPEAKER_01 10:09

I feel like you know, when you like scream and I need like a Greek, one of those Greek places that you just smash back. No, I don't, I'm not that angry. I feel like I've just had a lot to think about in terms of like the wedding industry as a whole. And I just feel like there's certain things at the minute that I'm getting annoyed at that people just keep doing, and it's like, why? Right, okay. I can name a few. This hasn't even got anything to do with this. No, it's not, but go on, quickly. There's a few things that we've spoken about before, editing a photo. Something happened last week to one of my suppliers again, and her the photos were edited of what she was done, and it was an AI copy. And I've shown it to a couple of uh photographers and videographers within the industry, and I've said, Am I am I am I in the right here? Am I in the wrong for like saying that I should be pissed off at this basically? But no, a photo has been edited, well, a couple of photos have been edited, so it's not even shown the work of her and makeup um in this instance of what she has done, and I'm just like, for God's sake, stop literally uploading a photo to Chat GPT and being like, edit this. No. So what happens? So there was a photo a couple of weeks ago that basically um I got sent from one of my suppliers. I'm not gonna name names or anything, but got sent a photo from one of my suppliers of of something that we did together, um, an event that we did together, and she was like, This just isn't my work. And I was like, She's like, Am I and she's had work edited before, like in terms of her and makeup that isn't what she has produced on that couple or that client, and I was like, Was it the same person? Yeah, and I was like, I was like, it's not you, that's that photo, and I've shown it to a couple of people when I've had meetings, and one that I've had meetings with recently, and I was like, Am I overthinking this? Like, I'll show you now. Um because I feel like I need to actually get your open and honest.

SPEAKER_00 12:14

So the same photographers don't swap.

SPEAKER_01 12:16

No, no, not the same photographer, a different photographer, but to the same person's work. And this person's work is stunning, is absolutely incredible. This is said bride, hair, makeup, looks stunning, right? Yeah, looks perfect. Just remember the colours and hair colours and everything else. And this is said photo bad, isn't it? That's not the same person. It looked way better before. Way better. So like there's a few things that I'm getting pissed off at that just keep happening, and I know we keep mentioning stuff, and obviously I I I know that obviously like not everybody. That's not even a good edit. It's not a good edit, it's not a good I wouldn't put that person forward now for any, like I wouldn't put them forward for anything. Um I hadn't put them forward in this instance. No, um now I wouldn't do anyway because of that edit, but like there's things that like I'm just getting annoyed at. There's that, there's also venues, um A obviously hidden costs, but also B them saying no to absolutely everything. Like everything has to be at a certain time, it has to be done a certain way. And why the hell should it? Because I'm not being funny, but every wedding is so freaking different. Everybody deserves to have a different wedding as well, and not everybody's time needs to be structured the exact same way. Yeah. I've been to a meeting um last when was it? Last Monday, I think it was. Um, and it was with a venue and I sat in the meeting and they were like, Yeah, so timings are this, this, this, this, and this, that, and this is when we do stuff. And I was like, Well, can't something be this time? And they were like, No, we do it this day, and I was like, Why not? And they were like, um, because then it throws off timings for later on. I'm like, and just go with it. Yeah. Just because everybody's got the same same amount of time. They book that venue for that time, yeah. Not for things to be in that structured way. No. Yes, if you're having a ceremony, yes, I understand it needs to be at two o'clock, twelve o'clock, four o'clock, whatever it needs to be. But everything around that doesn't have to be around that before that and after that doesn't need to be in a set way, the same way. And I just feel like venues are stuck in this position now of churning out weddings, and you shouldn't be churning out weddings, you should be doing them because you want to be part of somebody's special day, and it's just really pissing me off. That's my run over. No, anyway.

SPEAKER_00 14:49

Well, that example is really bad that you've just it's so bad, isn't it? Yeah, it's really obvious it's been changed and not in a good way, no. No, oh dear.

SPEAKER_01 15:01

Anyway, should you feel better after that? Yeah, sauce, guys. Um, should we feel should we feel better? Should um we talk about things that cost extra then? Yeah, let's so what is something?

SPEAKER_00 15:14

This is obviously supplier section. You haven't seen me in two weeks, that's me ranting to you for the last like two weeks. I'm like that, ah so let's start off with what is something suppliers are often criticised for charging extra for, but actually have good reason for time, time and travel, time and travel for me, and moving cost for you, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:39

Um yeah, I agree because so everybody thinks because you've got a supplier, say, in this instance a videographer and a photographer for the whole day, that means you've literally got them for those whole 24 hours, and some people really do think that in the sense of in their head they're like, oh 12 hours, um, and they'll be like, right, I've got them from the second I wake up to the second I go home.

SPEAKER_00 16:01

That's ridiculous. Um because a working day isn't that well, mine is 14 hours, but typically it's eight hours, right? Yeah. So if you're going in with that mindset, please give your head a big fat wobble because that is I would laugh if my friend said like, oh we'll have it for 12 hours.

SPEAKER_01 16:20

I know. So some people will do nine till nine, fine, perfect. But most most or they'll do like three hours before ceremony to an hour after first dance, fine. Or they'll do a couple of songs after first dance. But if they're saying, and if you're saying, Oh, can you stay until like 11 and they're saying yeah, it's an extra such and such, don't be alarmed by it because that's their time. Yeah. Also they're missing out on sleep, they're missing out on travelling home, they're missing out everything. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:44

That's a long day. At the end of the day, you can't just expect somebody to work for free. No. No, I've definitely like for me, like you said, moving costs. Moving costs. I think is a big one. Yeah. Um, because you know, we might start in one place and then move over to the venue, and it could be up the road, it could be half an hour away. So that is time again, and fuel. And just a bit inconvenient, really. Packing up, repacking, yeah, like four times. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:18

And something that's not included in the package, but is expected of them. So I've had it recently. I've spoken to another um supplier, another wedding planner, who has basically had her one of um her couples come to her and say, Um, can you lay up the day before? Um and she's gone, yeah, but it'll be X, Y, and Z. And she's gone, Oh, I thought it was included in the price, and it's like, well, no, because the pricing was this and we was laid out for this. Um and it wasn't the full it wasn't the full planning, it was on the day coordination.

SPEAKER_00 17:51

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 17:54

That's again, but in my head, I'm just like But I think it's because we're in the industry, but that's why. But I think I think a lot of people just don't yeah, I just think they think because it's one wedding day, everybody's free on that whole day, and it's not the case. Yeah. Um so what are some extras that genuinely increase your workload? You go first. I'm gonna leave this to you for first.

SPEAKER_00 18:25

Um well, obviously, when someone's like, Oh, will you just pop on some eyelashes or will you just do my little girl, she's only 12 and only wants a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 18:37

Or will you just hop on a consultation call so we can have a catch-up? Or will you just send me the plan, even though it's not included anymore?

SPEAKER_00 18:46

Yeah, I mean there's a big list there, I think for both. Yeah, obviously all of them, all of them are included in my package, but and I I'm like, yeah, like I'll do it for I'll do it until I'm sick because I hate it, I can't say nothing. Yeah, but the will you just like when it starts with that, you know it's an extra, but yeah, yeah, I agree, I agree.

SPEAKER_01 19:06

Have couples ever been shocked by something you charge for? My on the day coordination package, and I'll sing that out to the the blue, and it's new, usually not trying to be sexist in any sort of way, it's usually a groom. And it's usually because and I've spoken to you about this recently, because they'll see in my brochure when they pick it up, they will see a small snippet of a summary of what is included. I've now had to put a barcode at the bottom because I've been questioned about what is included, um, of like my whole description of like everything. Because some people like to see it but some people don't. And I know that when I pick up a brochure, if it's too much information, I'm so overwhelmed. Yeah, well I don't it doesn't sink in. It doesn't sink in at all. I just want to know what's included in the price, and that's the way that I do it in my brochure. I do it about seven or eight bullet points, and then the total price, and then I have a little barcode at the b bottom that's like please scan here to see exactly what is included on the on the day coordination. Because and I've changed the names of my packages, and I think I said this to you recently because it was on the day coordination as as a full package title. Um, because people were just being like, Oh, but that's a lot for the day, and I had it from a supplier recently, and they're like, Oh, that's a lot for just being here on the day. And I was like, I'm not just here on the day though, I'm here on the lead up, I'm here post as well. Like I do a hell of a lot of work more than just on the day. Beforehand, yeah, than not just on the day. Change it to. Um, it used to be take the stress away. Oh my god, what have I just changed it to? I've literally only just done it last week. What did I this is testing my memory?

SPEAKER_00 20:46

Well, it's because it's new, that's why. Um I think I did it as like your wedding bestie or something.

SPEAKER_01 20:51

What did I do it as? Yeah, your wedding best friend. Okay. And then I've put like at the bottom here scam for the full on-the-day job description. And there's like 10 bullet points.

SPEAKER_00 21:04

I feel like that one for me again. Have couples ever been shot by something you charge for? Again, it's like travel. That, but I don't think it's a shock shock factor. But I think when I get things like, well, she only wants really minimal makeup, it's still the same price. Yeah, it doesn't matter. It doesn't change things. Still your thing, it's still your skills, it's still your experience. So when people are like, Oh, well, you know, like it's my mum, mum with the bride, like she she won't wear a lot. I'm like, okay, but it's still that price. Yeah. Because it's still it's the same thing. So I guess for me, that's probably like the shock factor.

SPEAKER_01 21:40

Yeah. Um do suppliers draw the line between good customer service and unpaid labour. I I've been really like, I'm a stickler for this at the minute, just purely because I'm trying to set more boundaries on myself. Um I think it comes down like I think people have I don't think there is a place to draw the line, but I think you know your limits. I don't think there's a set line for every single supplier. But I think you have to set your own limits to say, for example, like I have WhatsApp support um but like at the minute I'm trying to separate my two phones that I can make sure that I'm present with my child and my family and also my friends and in the moment rather than being like glued to my phone if a message comes through.

SPEAKER_00 22:33

Yeah. I think like you said, just having clear set boundaries and being like these are my admin days.

SPEAKER_01 22:40

The same as if you would go away for work, but you'd put your out of office on. So like I'm starting to do those kind of things rather than just not leave my out of office never on. Yeah. Like if I'm going away for the weekend or if I've got weddings, or if it is wedding season, just using those those little things to my advantage.

SPEAKER_00 22:59

Yeah, so then the person on the other side can just know where you're at. I constantly update update my socials. Yeah. Like I'll be on messages tonight, or I'm I you know, I've been working a really long day and I'm just gonna log off now. So I guess like I just make it clear in that way.

SPEAKER_01 23:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:16

Um and then on the day, depends what they've booked me for, but I like the way I would plan it is I book out right the way up until the ceremony. Nine times out of ten, I've left before that. Half an hour, 40 minutes before.

SPEAKER_01 23:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:31

Um, and then an hour's travel or wherever I am. So I guess a boundary there is making sure my diary's planned out until after the ceremony. Yeah. But most make parties finish after a wedding. Yeah. Whereas I don't, so I'm after. You need to. I know.

SPEAKER_02 23:49

So that's again like that's another boundary you need to get in place, though.

SPEAKER_00 23:56

Um so is the pressure in the industry to include more for free just to stay competitive? Or maybe not for free, but like an incentive. Do you think? I don't think that's no, I disagree. People book you for your talent, for your work, for your skill, you as a person. So I don't think there needs to be no offers or freebies.

SPEAKER_01 24:24

I agree, because also as well, I think if you do too many It can go one way with the it and the other can't it. And also you're taking down your experience and how good you are by a hell of a lot. I know. Like I used to I used to do quite a bit of like, oh I'll include this or when I was first starting out, but then I'm like, no, because my experience is this and I do this and this is what you get, you get what you get on the day. Um and there's I I think there's no point in knocking down who you are. Yeah and the skills that you have, and you book somebody for a reason, and also that person's been in the industry, knows the industry, and you'll you'll get a gut feeling from that person anyway. So I think Yeah. Yeah, no, I don't think so.

SPEAKER_00 25:11

Yeah, I agree. I just like well, I suppose I'm just me, but like last weekend I received a gorgeous hamper. Sorry, last week received a gorgeous hamper from a back bride, but like during her wedding and her mourning, like mum was really nervous, she was pretty zen, to be fair, the bride, but um they just said, God, you can tell you've done this before. And I literally was like, I must really come across like mm and I mean I know what I know I know my stuff anyway, but to them it must have really been like though, isn't it? Yeah, like I must have led the room, but in a nice way. And like I said, they sent the most gorgeous hamper. Um I know and was really grateful, but I just I it was that comment and I was like, that's for me, like I'm gonna do it. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:58

Yeah, no, I agree with that as well. Like it's it's but I've had comments that have been like, Oh, I've never thought of about that, and it's like, yeah, because I've kind of seen that being done in a certain way.

SPEAKER_00 26:08

Yeah, yeah. That's your Mary Poppins bag. Um, so what wedding service is most undervalued by couples, do you think? Wedding planner. That's not why you think it's doing us then.

SPEAKER_02 26:24

No, that's not just because of your face.

SPEAKER_01 26:26

No, that's genuinely not me me about me. No, that's that's not even about me as a like that is actually joking or not. I was such a partner. Was that okay? No, I genuinely do. Yeah. Like I because I think people I think people don't understand still how many different suppliers are out there. And we said this on a couple of episodes ago. I think people still think that when you have a wedding planner or or a wedding coordinator and somebody who is external doesn't need to be Oh my god, my nose is blocked. Doesn't need to be me, it can be absolutely anybody, and you can pick anybody. I would not care, like if it was not me.

SPEAKER_00 27:12

I feel like you're the middleman and have to deal with the shit from all sides.

SPEAKER_01 27:16

Also, as well, like it's it's just to make your experience that a little bit better. And I think people still think about I'm getting a wedding planner. And I had a cop I had a comment from a bride, and she was like, Some of my friends have been like, Oh, getting a wedding planner, you've clearly got too much money, and it's like, No, she's got a wedding planner because she understands what she wants, and she wants to make sure she has the best day ever, but also as well, she wants to make sure she is so relaxed. And then I got another comment at a wedding a couple of weeks ago from one of the bride's friends, and she was like, I have never seen her ever this calm. And she was like, She was stressing before she got you, and she got you, and she changed, yeah. And I was like, That is why I do what I do, and that is why every single other wedding planet under the sun does what they do because they want you to have the best day ever, and because they want you to be able to relax and, like you say, be that middleman between everybody, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:06

I'm trying to think of any other people that have um undervalued.

SPEAKER_01 28:11

I don't know whether I feel like when you have one, you're so grateful. Yeah, that's what I mean. I mean you are so grateful afterwards. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:18

But do you know what? Maybe the people who like flip the venue around.

SPEAKER_01 28:22

I think the cleaners, everybody else has. Like when I really think about it, like no one says thank you to me. No. And I think they work really hard to make sure it's Christine. Yeah, and the night staff and the night porters. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:34

Yeah, I agree. So maybe them kind of people as well. I feel really valued, like, honestly, like it's such a I feel valued, don't get me wrong.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

Like in the industry as well. Like, as that, I still think there's a little bit of stigma. It's the same as like I do think I agree with you about the stigma thing.

SPEAKER_00 28:53

Yeah, I think there is always one minor comments, like, yeah, I thought it was only celebrities who have wedding planners.

SPEAKER_01 28:58

Yeah, I had it last week from a couple, and I was like, ignore them, literally ignore them.

SPEAKER_00 29:04

Yeah. Um let's finish it up with this one before I move on to the couples. So have social media and comparison sites created unrealistic expectations about what's included.

SPEAKER_01 29:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:16

Yeah, me too. I agree with that.

SPEAKER_01 29:19

And I think I think some of them come down to when they do like a like a blog post for like such and such included for on your day. Um, but then also as well, like I think social media side side of things, like, don't get me wrong, I love styled shoots and I think they're absolutely fantastic for anybody to showcase their work in terms of the industry. But it's the best and it's the most biggest bits and bobs you could have because we're trying to showcase we're trying to showcase everything on Yeah. And I agree that they are fantastic, but also as well, they can show the unrealistic expectations. That day is so slow down to pick out the precise images, and sometimes when people use them for work um photos, yeah, like don't get me wrong, it's okay, like I'll do the odd thing, like uploading with like tips underneath it fine. But if you are saying that it's a real wedding when it's not a real wedding, it's it's a styled shoot, I think that also can give unrealistic expectations.

SPEAKER_00 30:24

Confusion. I think also trends. Yeah, I know. Okay. I feel like we've smashed a few out there from a supplier's point of view. Should we do couples? Let's do couples.

SPEAKER_01 30:39

So, what's the most surprising extra charge you've come across while planning a wedding? Oh wait, is that for me?

SPEAKER_02 30:47

Have I just been a question out there? I feel like no, that I don't feel like I need to stay in because I don't know if I said it so seriously. Come on. So if we just want to reverse I'm gonna ask you a question. That's like, wait, that's the most moving.

SPEAKER_00 31:10

Um what's the most surprising extra charge you've come across while planning a wedding?

SPEAKER_01 31:17

Um I don't think there's not one that really kind of stands out as such, but I think anything that a venue just isn't open and honest about from the start. I mean that's always surprising.

SPEAKER_00 31:34

Yeah, so I've like just written down some like industry like hot takes, and there's things like cake cutting fees. I was shocked at that.

SPEAKER_01 31:46

Cake cutting fees, yeah, because if the if yeah, I don't I'm not being funny, but if you've got meat you went and I'll cut cake for you.

SPEAKER_00 31:53

I know, well I was shocked at that. Things like extra for napkins, I think that's one of the c questions that's come in. I I did see that, but I'll talk talk about that.

SPEAKER_01 32:03

When we go over the questions. Okay, alright, well that's fine. But I think yeah, venue venue costings I think that they're not open and honest about. So like VAT, for example, if that's on top of it and then you get a random bill at the end.

SPEAKER_00 32:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:19

Um tables or staffing wise or anything like that, I think, yeah, I think just be open and honest from the start. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:30

I think transparency is a bull a game changer. So do you think like you've ever come across a couple where they feel like they're being penalised because it's a wedding? As in like costume wise. Yeah. I I get it all the time. As in like they've just added on chapter costume. Oh god, yeah. It's it's set in fact it it's a bit awkward when I'm in the setting and like somebody does say like Yeah. Oh, you know, such and such. Why is it more than occasion makeup? Um I might just be in the room and they are saying, like, oh well it's a wedding they add on, blah blah blah.

SPEAKER_01 33:07

No, it's the same I know. It's the same. The only so there is a bit of a sti a stigma behind this, and I think it is purely because some people do add on still, and I don't know why. And you shouldn't do your pricing based on your skills, your experience, your day cost, your hourly cost, your travel, your mile, whatever it may be, your social media, your admin fee, your accountant, everything's got to be taken into consideration for that pricing. Um and I do think there are some people that I do add on still, and I can think of one in particular that we've done a wedding, and the flowers have been different, and because they've not said that it is for a wedding, they've got a cheaper price. Oh yeah. So um I do think there is that stigma, but I know that a lot of florists will be open and honest about pricing because pricing can change in terms of importation fees, conditioning, everything that is so different from very to vary supply and who to get to. But when I saw that and heard about that said thing, I was like, it should be the same price no matter what, because the flowers are costing the same, everything like that. So I had a conversation with um Johnny over the weekend, and I was like, It's this price for a cake of like 40s, um, this is what it looked like, and he was like, What? He was like, I'll make it cheaper than that, and I was like, No, you won't. I was like, you will not, and I was like, What are you not grasping? Um, and I was like, that is an absolutely incredible price. A because it's come from one of my suppliers, they've given me a banking deal on it, and I was like, and also I was like, you will not, there's time, there's effort, there's pre-consultation calls.

SPEAKER_00 34:56

But like what we'd spoken about at Swanley, yeah. How much everything's gone up in terms of cocoa, oh my god, pricing of absolutely everything, ingredients, yeah, like moan at my food shop, never mind making a cake.

SPEAKER_01 35:10

Exactly. And he was like, Oh well, if we ever got married, we'd just get such and such to do it for cheaper. And I was like, not happening, hon. He'd be like, well, just get a an MS one is what he would say. He was like, I'll decorate it myself. I was like, no, you will not. Um but I do I do feel like when like people see that pricing, they do think, oh no, that should be a lot less. And it's like, well, actually no, like that's someone's time and effort.

SPEAKER_00 35:41

Someone has asked, what service do you think should always be included in the quoted price? In terms of from a venue. It doesn't really say, so what service do you think should always be included in the quoted price? For me, travel.

SPEAKER_01 36:03

Yeah, always put that in the quoted price. If not, reach contracts. Yeah, Ts and C's, T's and C's are definitely important. Cancellation fees, cancellation fees massively. Um VT. Yeah, always. Like, don't add it on after.

SPEAKER_00 36:20

Yeah, location change. Um booking fee as well. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:25

Seeing if that is what it is in terms of percentage, 25%, 50%. When we say booking fee, that is a deposit nine times out of ten or an admin fee.

SPEAKER_00 36:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:38

I don't know I don't know, I I might have to look into my booking fee a little bit because I then I have like a remaining balance after it, but I know that people do it differently. I definitely want to. That's how I do it.

SPEAKER_01 36:50

Do you?

SPEAKER_00 36:51

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:51

Do a percentage and then remain in balance is U, X, Y, and Z. Yeah. And you can pay monthly if you want to.

SPEAKER_00 36:57

Oh, can you? As long as I tell you.

SPEAKER_01 37:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:01

Yeah, yeah. As long as we have either I send out an invoice or yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:04

Yeah. Okay, so let's just go on to some quickfire questions before we move on to what people have written in and asked and maybe let us know about a bridal spiral. I'm not actually sure what they've written in yet because I need to head over to Insta. But um So shall we move on to the quickfire questions? Of course we can, honey. Okay. Should these cost extra? So mileage. Yeah. Yeah. Parking.

SPEAKER_01 37:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:36

Yeah. Early morning start. No. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 37:41

What do you think?

SPEAKER_00 37:42

No, it's with the industry. However, some makeup artists and hairstylists if you've got to start like at six or earlier, then they request an overnight stay. Mm-hmm. So because it is a lot like when you're travelling on the motorway at 4am to get there for six. Then you've got to do your whole working day.

SPEAKER_01 38:01

I think it depends on the location away from your house. I think that that and that's the same for me, because like I would if it was like seven or eight hours away, or even for example, late district, I would yeah, I finish late.

SPEAKER_00 38:15

Yeah. Next one is additional consultations.

SPEAKER_01 38:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:23

Yeah. Last minute changes. No. No, I don't think that should cost extra to be honest. Venue visits.

SPEAKER_01 38:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:35

Rehearsals.

SPEAKER_01 38:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:37

Lashes. Yeah. Extra gas. Yeah. Supplier meals. From which point of view?

SPEAKER_01 38:48

Should it cost extra? For who? For the couple or for the venue? Both. Well the couple, if it's in your your supplier's contract, then you should supply them with a contract that you've signed that contract, like it's in mine, yeah. Um some venues do it for free. Do the couple. That's nice, isn't it? It's very rare, but yeah. Digital galleries. If they ask for raw footage, some people will send it, some people won't. I know, I've I asked for footage. And it will be an extra charge because that is somebody's raw footage of their work.

SPEAKER_00 39:29

Weekend weddings.

SPEAKER_01 39:33

It's standard that they cost more, isn't it? Yeah. That's just part of them. But I don't it's only more with with venues. It's not more with any it shouldn't be more with any other supplier now. Bank holiday weddings. Again, the same. I would never charge more because it's not. No, I think I think it's the same for as weekends for a bank holiday. In terms of if you're wanting to get rid of a bank holiday Monday, it'll be the same as the Saturday Sunday Saturday pricing. But for any other supplier, no.

SPEAKER_00 39:59

No. And finally, ceremony to reception room turnarounds.

SPEAKER_01 40:06

From venue stylist point of view, if they have to stay, yes, because sometimes a venue won't turn it round. But from a venue's point of view, no.

SPEAKER_00 40:15

Yeah. Okay, amazing. So obviously that now sends us to um Questions and Bridal Spirals. Like I said, there was loads that came in. Um out. From suppliers, actually, which is juicy. Yeah, let's go. Let's talk about them.

SPEAKER_01 40:35

Oh my god, there is actually loads. I haven't actually seen all these yet. Let me unplug my phone off charger. There is loads. When you have when venues have things like fairy lights in place, but you have to pay for them to be turned on, that really pisses me off.

SPEAKER_00 40:52

Because they're already there and you're just pressing a button.

SPEAKER_01 40:55

I know I do I do like roll my eyes at that. It's the same for like if you've got a disco ball and you're charging extra to put the disco ball on, but the disco ball is switched on with a light switch.

SPEAKER_00 41:07

We spoke about one or an LED curtain. We spoke about one that long ago, actually, didn't we? Who was it? I can't remember. No, we spoke about it on the pod. Oh, we did. Yes, we did.

SPEAKER_01 41:22

Next one. Corkage fees for shots as favours. Ooh, I kind of I kind of understand, but I don't at the same time. Because I understand that venues have to charge extra for Corkage, but I don't think you should charge the full price the same as a bottle of wine, for example. Um I'd be pissed off if I was a couple and they didn't. I understand because people do drink them and they're not supposed to. Because if you're bringing in external alcohol, it's their licence that's affected a little. But but then I do think I just think jobs worse. Um charging to have your cake cut up and served. What TF?

SPEAKER_00 42:10

Yeah, that's what we spoke about earlier. And we should I didn't realise that was an actual case.

SPEAKER_01 42:14

Did you know?

SPEAKER_00 42:15

Didn't no.

SPEAKER_01 42:17

And some people charge, which baffles the hell out of me. Some people will charge £35 to cut your cake. Also, some people will charge £35 for you to have a knife for you to cut it for those one second. I'm not being funny, you can go and buy one from home bargains cheaper than just buy into it and be like half that.

SPEAKER_00 42:35

Give me a cup and put the cup into the feeder. I'm like, I was shocked when that one came in because I was like, what that's a thing.

SPEAKER_01 42:44

Um crockery and table linens includes that shit in your pricing. I love the supplier. Um the supplier's put quite a few in, to be fair. It's quite funny. Put three in. Um, yeah, I think I think as well. Also, can we include linen that goes down to the floor, please, and not put linen on top of linen. So you're not. Can it be steamed? Yeah, and you're not putting round linen on top of a square table, or you're not putting square linen, like you have a round tablecloth, it goes on the round table, then you're not putting a square on top of that said tablecloth, because that really pees me off. Um, and I get that it's to remove later on for the evening, but I'm not being funny, but I'd rather your wedding breakfast look perfect.

SPEAKER_00 43:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:29

Everyone's dancing. Yeah. This next one really rattles my cage. It's actually now in my contract. Um, non-approved supplier fees being charged for not using a recommended supplier.

SPEAKER_00 43:43

Right, so just talk me through that.

SPEAKER_01 43:45

Get my I want to get my head around it. So, said venue have their recommended supplier list. Mm-hmm. And if you don't use suppliers on that um list, you are charged. A percentage, like 10%, of what that price in you pay. Say, for example, somebody's somebody's package is a thousand pounds that you've booked, that venue will charge you 100 quid.

SPEAKER_00 44:10

I wonder if that's why our wedding planner was miffed off when I thought three suppliers over. Yeah. It will be.

SPEAKER_01 44:18

Because they're getting a cut. Some venues have most 99.9% of venues do not do this anymore because it had an uproar in about three, four years, but it is still at some handful of venues like that, and they would get charged the bride and groom. Sometimes if it's not so, say for example, it's in my contract that if a said venue it it gets added onto your pie pricing because they charge the supplier.

SPEAKER_00 44:51

That's really naughty.

SPEAKER_01 44:52

So the venue will charge the supplier £100 for that £1,000 fee. So mine gets added on to your final balance if that happens, because that is a cut of yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:05

That's so naughty.

SPEAKER_01 45:06

Really bad, isn't it? Yeah. Um recommended lists where suppliers pay a fee to be on them and the couple aren't told. That annoys me as well. So at the again said venue has that recommended suppliers list and a supplier pays to be on there. Because I think anybody just shouldn't pick just what's on a recommended suppliers list. Because it might not be the right match for you.

SPEAKER_00 45:34

No. Do you want to read some? Um I feel like we've gone over that one already. Supplier meals, caterers could easily factor in like an extra five meals on the day. Yeah. They could do that, but I suppose it's up to them, isn't it? Yeah. I'm sure there is leftovers. I'm sure suppliers would be grateful for anything. Yeah. But then if you'd be disappointed if there was only one potato and a slice of chicken, wouldn't you? And be like, sorry, that's all we've got left. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 46:00

Oh, it came up and did you see it? It was in that group. Yeah. That supply group. Do you see the supplier meal store?

unknown 46:07

No.

SPEAKER_01 46:07

It came up the other. If you really got it that muted. That was so funny. So if I click on it, there's a certain venue that just gives out um gives out sandwiches, and this sandwich looked really sad on its own. Like it was just literally like this couple would pay 25 quid for a sandwich, and I think it was like 25 quid. Um but you'll pay you'll pay like 25 quid for it ahead on like a supplier meal. But I've been to some places where like and again this came up on the group where a couple's paid for like a three-course meal for you and you've only got a mane.

SPEAKER_00 46:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:41

So I always ask, what have you given suppliers so I know that your caterers can get it out to them? Because at the end of the day, I don't want you to lose out on money. Like if you've if they only get a mane, you're getting money back. I know. Like that's as simple as that. You've not had it.

SPEAKER_00 46:54

God, I hope ours fully indulged because it was it was like the set price. It was no three-cost meal. One we had a barbecue, and I paid the full amount for each supplier.

SPEAKER_01 47:05

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 47:06

I hope they fully indulge. No, I can't do it. These next three are from um Yeah, so glasses for cocktails, that's just obscene.

SPEAKER_01 47:17

I think her pricing was like £10. What? Yeah, we we had this conversation on um a call. I think her pricing was like £10. Please correct me if this is wrong, hon. Um when did we have the call? £10 per glass. And I was like, no, I I think I went, no, that's that surely should include the cocktail. Yeah. Um my god, as if the next one as well, garnishes for cocktail, please tell me that they have not come back to you and said, they're gonna charge for garnishes. No. Tea and coffee served or station. I think that just should I I I do understand why because they have to bring in products and it costs X, Y, and Z for tea and for coffee. But don't I think it should be included in Let Your Three Course Meal. But that's just my personal preference.

SPEAKER_00 48:12

And then the last one, the honeymoon suite slash slash bridal suite. Joella looks fuming.

SPEAKER_01 48:22

Is that just to for makeup in the morning, or is that I think that's the overnight stay as well.

SPEAKER_00 48:29

But I do think it would be a lovely incentive, like I feel why do you get married then?

SPEAKER_01 48:34

Like I'm not being funny, but when you are giving out your venue pricing, why don't you just say and this is the pricing, but it also includes the bridal suite?

SPEAKER_00 48:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:41

Like, why don't you just add it on and make it a total price? Why does it have to be is this and this and this and this, just make it a one fucking total price? I know. Because that really winds me up. I know.

SPEAKER_00 48:55

Like, just do all in all and just if it is a charge to get ready that air, which I don't think it is, but you need to make it earlier, the venues. Cause nine times out of ten, we can never start there anyway. Cause it's too late.

SPEAKER_01 49:08

The other one is we've got a last one, it's not for us, but for a friend who's planning for 2027. Venue catering options do not include napkins. So venue charging one pound per napkin. Can't wrap my head around why napkins won't be included in the catering quote. So I plain white napkins should always be included in the catering quote. No matter what, I think. Your cutlery, your glassware, if you have gone to a venue. I know that that I obviously know that bride, but I know that they're at a venue and those napkins should be included in that pricing because they're doing the cutlery, they're doing the glassware, they're doing the tablecloth. So why wouldn't you include the napkins? Makes more sense. Unless you are getting napkins that are from a venue stylist, that is when you charge extra. Say, for example, you have you want to change your linen up, but you want a different colour napkin to match your linen, fine, perfect.

SPEAKER_00 50:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:04

That's when it should cost extra.

SPEAKER_00 50:06

Yeah. Okay, so we've had a bridal spiral come in. Okay, to go with this topic. So it starts with this swapping from round tables to trestle tables. Venues venue sales team said it would be no problem at all. Then six months down the line, having done the seating chart, the events planning team told us we'd have to rent trestle tables ourselves. To be honest, I wouldn't mind so much if they'd said from the start that it would cost extra. It's frustrating starting to plan based on optimistic promises from sales teams and then having your dreams brought back down to reality by the events team. This happened to me when I was planning my wedding. I feel you, sister. Fight your corner, don't give in, and you will win. All I'm gonna say is get everything in freaking right. Right. Oh, what a shame though. I I know what the pain. Like, I I was so cross. I was like, I shouldn't have even picked there. The whole point of this venue was to sit outside.

SPEAKER_01 51:08

So I had this with a uh one of my weddings that was supposed to be an outdoor ceremony. Went on the show around, it was like, yep, we can do X, Y, and Z, blah blah de blah, blah, blah blah. Can't have music outside.

SPEAKER_00 51:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:20

We all just walked down to the aisle in silence. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 51:24

I don't really know what to suggest because there isn't really much more on what she's put. But all I'd say is fine. I keep fighting for it, and I hope that it works. It did for me. I really want to know which venue, so please give me let us know as well. Yeah. Okay. I feel like that was a good episode. I thought that was a really good idea. Smash really. So thank you everyone once again for listening. Please keep bringing in these bridal spiders and just getting involved with our stories. We absolutely love it. Did you make Joella run even more? Yeah, Joella was fuming with the start of this one. So, Joella, where can everybody find us? Oh!

SPEAKER_01 52:01

Oh everybody can find us at the Isle Diaries Podcast on Instagram, TikTok, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, and what is our email address for day?

SPEAKER_00 52:13

The Isle Diaries Podcast at gmail.com G Garden Rah! I know it's on the spot then at least.