Don't Piss Me Off Podcast

Being Chosen vs. Choosing: What Are We Actually Asking For?

• DPMO • Season 1 • Episode 7

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In Episode 7 of Don't Piss Me Off, Bryana and Yuri dive into one of the most honest dating conversations yet: the difference between waiting to be chosen and intentionally choosing who’s right for you.

This episode challenges the expectations we bring into dating — especially the silent ones we never communicate but still hold people accountable for. From over-investing too early to confusing attention with real intention, the hosts unpack how power dynamics, emotional habits, and unspoken assumptions shape our relationships.

Bryana and Yuri explore why so many people are conditioned to wait to be picked instead of dating with clarity and agency. They discuss how unspoken expectations lead to disappointment, why mutual effort should feel calm instead of chaotic, and what it actually looks like when two people intentionally choose each other.

Through personal insight, humor, and real talk, this conversation encourages listeners to reflect on their own dating patterns, communicate their needs more clearly, and stop performing for connection.

Because when the choice is mutual, you don’t have to chase, convince, or guess.

You feel secure — not confused.

Sip on this...

2 oz Grey Goose Altius, 3 oz Club Soda, & a lime wedge

SPEAKER_01

Brianna, I know I want to be chosen.

SPEAKER_02

What about you? Well, role players get chosen. Listen. Because I feel like as a woman, we sometimes put our worth in, okay, he's seeing five bitches, but I'm his favorite, so I'm chosen. Like, you know what I mean? When did we start placing our value and being chosen? That's the thing. Well, we don't, but I know people that do.

SPEAKER_01

Women. Yeah. Bitches don't know. You all might enjoy more shit if y'all just shut the fuck up. That's the problem. Don't go shut up. We're good. Sometimes you just gotta see what happens. You never know. You might end up somewhere you was never gonna go tonight because shut the fuck up. But now you didn't shut the fuck up, so you're not being chosen. We didn't even make it to dinner. Now you're not being chosen. Now you're not being chosen. Now, bitch number two and three and I moved up, and we all had a dinner table. Where'd you go? I have not found somebody that is aligned with all that I am. If I did, I'd be married, bitch. What are you talking about? Um This is why we're here. I got sh we pissed off. Because if I if I wasn't pissed off, hey, then you'll piss me off with this fucking question because it don't it don't exist for me right now.

SPEAKER_02

Welcome to another episode of Don't Piss Me Off. I am your host, Brianna.

SPEAKER_01

My name is Yuri. Welcome back to our show. Last time we talked about, let's be honest, sometimes we're the problem and we took accountability. But today we're gonna explore choosing versus being chosen. What are we actually looking for? Brianna, I know I want to be chosen. What about you? Well, role players get chosen. Listen, because there ain't no choice. I mean, it seemed like it was the question, but it's not.

SPEAKER_02

It's really not. Well, you know what? I feel like this episode is not only about like wanting to be chosen, what it means to be chosen, but I feel like it's being honest with ourselves, right? Not about just what we want, but like how we're showing up, what we're accepting, and what we're actually choosing. So for me, for me, um, it's not about being chosen, it's about someone choosing what they would rather do. Because my whole thing is this being chosen to me comes out of ego. Because if we're being honest, even when it comes to men, you know, there might be that one chick, everybody owner, right? Yeah. But there's that ego that's like, I'm gonna be the one that gets her. You know what I mean? So being chosen and getting her.

SPEAKER_01

Sneaking back in there.

SPEAKER_02

And don't roach a little road it's unhand me. But seriously, I feel like, you know, I rather see how you rather choose than sure me being chosen in the moment, right? So with that being said, every week. Let's go.

SPEAKER_01

We'll piss you off this week. Ah, you were you were going there with it. You know when someone is like, they they claim they're interested, right? We you know what I'm talking about. They claim they're interested, blah, blah, blah. Pump the brakes. I don't even know you yet. They want, oh, my future wife, right? We going, oh, and they they're they're they're acting. You're doing too much. You you're doing too much. You're acting like you're trying to choose me, but the actions don't match. Because when we're talking about being chosen and choosing, it's also, I think that's that gray area where it's like, okay, we've been doing something. Not with him, but we've been doing something, right? Who's him? Look, tell the people who's him. No, I'm just not. They're gonna learn later. Okay. But if if you are trying to stay claim to something or or show that you want to make a choice, your actions have to match. You're just loud and wrong right now. Just loud and wrong. The loudest one is the weakest. The loudest. That's what Frank Lucas saying. I'm gonna stay right on this market. I'm gonna stay right where I'm at. Okay. But tell me, what pissed you off this week?

SPEAKER_02

You know, mine is a little more sensitive than that. Yeah, but you're toxic. Well, no, so so one of the things that pissed me off this week. Just one. Just one is when someone gives you low effort and think that you're supposed to value their low effort, because to them, that's high effort. And for me, if you and I are not aligning on what you consider effort, just ask me. Just ask me. Because at the end of the day, don't piss me off. It ain't enough. This is low vibrational. Correct. This is not enough. So you can't convince me of otherwise. So you can't convince me otherwise. Maybe for someone else, this is a ton of effort. For me, this is the not even the baseline. This is like what you should just be doing as a man.

SPEAKER_01

And then when you try to tell them that it's not up to par, they get pissed off. Which is crazy. Crazy. Crazy work. Crazy. Blasphemy.

SPEAKER_02

A slave. A slave. But this is what I'm curious to know. Right. I feel like most people, and sometimes we get caught in this too, is like the fantasy of being chosen. Not even just by like, oh, many men, you know, like me or desire me, but like think about the man that you want to, you actually want to choose. Yeah. Right. Sometimes we get caught in the fantasy of what that looks like. We romanticize versus pursuing compatibility.

SPEAKER_01

For sure. All right. Or mistaking that that feature, right? Like being chosen or like, oh, this person is wants me versus like, is he actually being intentional? Like for me and the things that matter to me. You know, like, oh, like, oh, he wants me bad. That ain't the same thing as like he's taking steps to be intentional with you. Yeah. That ain't the same thing. Attention versus intention.

SPEAKER_02

Boom. And bitch, I love attention. I ain't gonna lie. Yeah, but but then but you just regular then. You facts. Attention's easy. Yeah, but but attention from the person that's intentional, girl. Correct. I love him.

SPEAKER_01

Correct. But that's the thing. So you're getting attention from the dude that you got chemistry with. Yeah. We can't mistake that for intention.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Because sometimes you like there'll be times you'd be like, oh, like you had a couple good nights, and it's like, all right, but it still don't mean nothing. Yeah. Because it's just you're getting the attention from the one where the Yeah, you're having a ball. You had a ball. But then you wake up and just he still ain't about nothing. Yeah, that's it. It ain't going nowhere. It went nowhere. At my big age. It went nowhere. It stayed right where it was.

SPEAKER_02

Sometimes I'd be okay with that. But anyways, that's a different conversation.

SPEAKER_01

But no, you're absolutely right. That happens. We we romanticize that or we get caught up in it. Totally. But I I do think that we as women do like we want to be chosen. So like I won't even blame it on romanticizing, but how do we get that feeling from men? Like, not that it's our fault, but how do we still appreciate that feeling, but also making sure that in there is like it's actually some meat to it?

SPEAKER_02

I think, girl, girl, because we're finna run on a tangent real quick, but let me be real. Let me be fucking for real. I think, and this is advice for myself. This is not a judgment. No, this is how I move, how I get down. I live in the present, bitch. If we are having a ball, we are having a ball. Like, I don't need it to be called nothing. Like, I also was raised by my uncles. Like, so I'm like, the way that I see things are a little different. I don't romanticize every connection that it's chemistry or sexual, you know, connection, whatever. Sometimes it'd be just that. Please get up and get out. Right. We had so much fun to like. You feel comfortable. I don't do a nudge nudge. I don't do a nudge because typically I don't even like having nobody at my house. If I let you over, that means you already know when to go. Typically, I go to somebody else's house because I be getting the fuck up. They push the boundary.

SPEAKER_01

I'm like, the sun is rising. You should have been gone already. Up and out. I hear the crows.

SPEAKER_02

I be I'll be kissing niggas on the forehead before I weekly. I do. I do that. I'd be like, you leave like a ninja. I do that. I do. I do. Little forehead kiss. You're like, I don't even know when you love. Oh shit. Oh my God. Look at Annie Burphy with the $20 on the table. Yeah. Okay, so we have to get off the subject. So listen, with that being said, right? Yes. Choosing, wanting to be chosen by someone who you are actually connected with. Yes. What did you learn that being where did you learn that being chosen equals worth? Because I feel like as a woman, we sometimes put our worth in, okay, he's seeing five bitches, but I'm his favorite, so I'm chosen. Like, you know what I mean? When did we start placing our value and being chosen?

SPEAKER_01

That's the thing. Well, we don't, but I know people that do. Women. Yeah, but I I think this dating market is hard, right? Like it's for me, I'm gonna say it's very rare that you meet somebody that don't got other shit going on. It's unfortunate, but that that be the case. And me, me included. Like, I mean, I don't, I don't, I ain't claiming nobody till I gotta make a decision. Like it's blue pill or red pill, right? But I do feel like you want to be the one that they want to spend more time with. I want them, like they want to be the one that I spend more time with. Like I think it's we're ranking. Like you got three in the bag, and number three might move to number one, number two might fall back. It's the same for both parties. It's the same for both parties. I just think when it's for like your health in in this relationship, it's like, what are you like you've said it, um, creating expectations that don't align with reality. Like it's one thing to want to be chosen, but are you creating expectations because you number one out of three? Yeah. Or are you number two out of three? That don't mean he's leaving number two and three with you. I'd be loving two and three. He might listen. You could be the favorite. He loves having three girlfriends these days. What are y'all doing? Yeah. You know, so it's it's expectations. You know, are you expecting to be chosen? What do you expect because you he chose you on Friday or Saturday? Yeah. Did he did you see him on the holiday? Are you getting are you getting Valentine's Day or the day before or after Valentine's Day? You know what I'm saying? He was not with his BM on Valentine's Day so he could get a kid some. That's what I'm saying. Listen, you did you see him on the day after Christmas? Or the day of. You know? Hell, even the day before. How did your New Year's Eve look? You know? He saw you after the clock struck. Okay, got it. That those expectations, I think, they can bite you when it comes to that. I ain't even been under a mistletoe. I ain't gonna lie. I don't even know what a mistletoe look like. I gotta Google that. You know what? I gotta Google it. That's crazy. I'm thinking of a pine cone. I know something like it. It's connected to the pine cone. They put a little red bow on it. Oh no. But listen, we see we're j we're jaded. You can't ask us, but we're trying to, we're trying to have general thoughts right now. Now, question.

SPEAKER_02

Yes. Have you ever, and and this is a question outside of your ego, have you ever stayed silent just to stay liked? Like, say say there was a guy you were genuinely interested in. And I don't mean silent as in he has silenced you, but maybe there was something that rubbed you the wrong way in the moment, and you like, I ain't gonna say shit right now. Let me let me feel this out a little more. For the sake of being like, because you really like this guy. So you still trying to figure out was that character or a mishap?

SPEAKER_01

You know, that probably hasn't happened to me since like early 20s high school. I feel like I had like a very awkward, like, I was like tomboyish. So like I think when I was getting like comfortable and like being like more, I guess more attractive to other people, I think there were situations I tolerated because I was also like intrigued by like my parents were strict as hell. I couldn't go on no fucking dates. So like I think once I started dating like as a young adult, I think I tolerated things. But once I woke the fuck up, I woke the fuck up. I'm sorry. Um because I'm I'm a logical, rational person. But that that that's a fair question. I mean, like, can you look back and see a moment when that happened for you? Yeah, I definitely think there was a moment.

SPEAKER_02

Go ahead, deep breath. So my first real man.

unknown

Oof.

SPEAKER_02

We're still friends to this day. You know, there's always that one person that you're like, yeah, ooh, he taught me how to be a young woman, like what I like, what I don't like. I think I had moments of being silent around him. A lot of times, if I'm silent, it's because I'm processing and I'm listening. Yeah. Because I do think there's moments where it is a teachable moment. Um, because silence doesn't mean someone is silencing you. I just mean like maybe normally you would say something right now and you you didn't, or you know what I mean, or you're kind of in. You're letting him guide you. Yeah. You know what I mean? So for me. A little bit of insecurity when he's doing what yeah. Absolutely. And then sometimes I'm just silent because I want to properly articulate what I'm feeling, if it's a disagreement or if it's something that just doesn't sit sit well with me. So I I'll never silence myself. I'm just not made that way. But I do remember like meeting my first man, honey. And I was just so in thought. I was also being introduced to things that I had never really been introduced to before. And it was just like just a new environment. So I was shutting the fuck up because I'm like, Oh no, I agree with that. Where's my place in this? You don't need to shut the fuck up. You know, they might, they might, they might. Y'all bitches don't know.

SPEAKER_01

You all might enjoy more shit if y'all just shut the fuck up. That's the problem. You don't need to shut the fuck up. Sometimes you just gotta see what happens. You never know. You might end up somewhere you was never gonna go tonight because you shut the fuck up.

SPEAKER_02

But now you didn't shut the fuck up, so you're not being chosen.

SPEAKER_01

We didn't make it to dinner. Now you're not being chose. Now you're not being chosen. Now, bitch number two and three done moved up, but we all did dinner tape. Where'd you go? You know what home, because you started a fight before an appetizer. I thought you was coming. Now I can't. No, no, no. You done picked, you done chose the other bitches.

SPEAKER_02

Deadass. Listen. Hell no. So what are some expectations we should never say out loud? Because I feel like everybody has been in a position where you did not avoid voice boundaries. Now you're in this situation. Now you do have an expectation. He feeling one way, you feeling another, whether it's him wanting to move forward or you wanting to move forward, but the other person's like, we ain't ever talked about this. I thought we was just Okay.

SPEAKER_01

The stage in life that I'm at, I'm gonna say it. Like, I know my imaginary clock is ticking, like the time on the wall. And I have to make sure that when I engage with anybody, and not like on some first date, these are the criteria, but like if you know that this is like you just want to play around, then I don't really need that. Like I just don't, I'll I'll hang out with you, me and Ririana be having a ball. You know, so I don't, I I need to say what expectations are. I think there was a time when I just let it fly. Or if you're trying to pussy foot around something and you don't want to make a title on it, you might not express your expectations or you don't want to scare somebody away. For me, I'm not scared to scare nobody away at this point because the person for me is gonna be there. But I could totally understand where you might just kind of like like I'm gonna give him space to see where it goes. Because that's fair too, right? But I think for me, the person needs to have an idea of like what I'm looking for. Like I'm I'm I I want kids and I want like marriage, you know. So it's it's important for them to have an idea where it's going. Like it's this is a highway you're gonna get on at some point. Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_02

You I'm like, yeah, because I'm different. No, no, but I be like us, right? I know what I'm finna do with this motherfucker when I meet him.

SPEAKER_01

See, but that's I know exactly what we're about to do.

SPEAKER_02

And you need to hear that too. So I think it just depends on the the vibration for me. You know me, I'm I'm like a little flower child. I be like, with the energy and the vibration and the flow, I'm such a Libra and I'm so balanced and I'm an air sign. So I think when I meet a man, I'm like, sir, I'm gonna fuck you. He never knows. I know. Then I meet a man and I'm like, oh my God, it's giving relationship. And then you is this. Never call them again. Blocked. Blocked. You ain't calling him no more. No, I know. It's so bad. But I try not to have like silent rules. I'm really big on like, especially the way I move around in these streets, and I don't even mean with men, I just mean as a professional. I do have rules because that's one of the reasons why I don't bring men in every room with me. Number one, ain't nothing worse than getting a lame nigga new hose. Because bitches see him with you and now they like them. Nobody ever liked you before me, bro. Ever. You know how many times I did that too. So I don't play the silent rules. You're welcome. You're welcome. Seriously. You're welcome.

SPEAKER_01

I don't play the silent rules. I used the main one rules, but you're welcome. Because there's a few. Y'all wasn't shit. Sorry. You're not. No, you wasn't. You wasn't. You just got cool. Then all of a sudden, bitch is throwing paintings at the stage. Come on.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. He was nobody. So I don't play about silent rules. I do, I do have like language that I use. Um, and I try not to assume that someone would just do and know. My whole thing is I'm gonna let you be. And if you don't do, and if you just don't know, at this age, I'm just not fucking with you. Like, I just think there's just certain things that I should not be correcting you on, whether it's decorum, whether it's the way that you should be holding yourself as a man when we're in spaces together. Absolutely. There's just certain things I'm not correcting or that I should have expectations for. Like, yeah, I do expect you to have some level of leadership, some level of knowing, some level of um value when you're in different spaces. Because every space is not the same, right? The way that we act in the club is not the way I expect you to act at a gala or at a you know different type of event.

SPEAKER_01

And to be clear, the person for me needs to be able to act appropriately in all those spaces.

SPEAKER_02

Baby, chameleon, chameleonaire, listen, camouflage, blended, chameleonaire, and stand out. Um, what are some expectations that you may have had that you've never communicated?

SPEAKER_01

I talk, so I don't um I will say this. I'm a Virgo. So once I decide it's done, whether he knows it or not, um, I'm done. So if I've if I've discussed things and I might not have had the like I don't I don't argue, I get paid to argue. Um so if I tell you something is not working for me, in a in a you know, a conversational way, like we talk about it, it's important to me, and you do nothing about it, it might not be this deep thing where it's like, I'm like, no, this was the deal breaker for me. You just wasn't listening. You know, so I wouldn't say I didn't communicate it, but I I think sometimes, not all men, but I think some men equate the drama and the the tone of your response to the importance of it. Right? Like, I'm not gonna dwell, like I don't I don't really like I'm not gonna dwell. I said it, I said what I said. So that doesn't mean it wasn't important and that I didn't find value in it. So I said it, I didn't maybe didn't say it how and often that he thought it would be important, but I'm gonna say it. Yeah. I'ma say it. I have a question for you though. I know we often talk about relationships here, but do you think being chosen and and choosing is a factor or a dynamic amongst friends and family? Like oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_02

You know, like I always like, yeah, you know. Absolutely. I especially something I deal with regularly. Possessive friends, I like I got possessive friends. I deal with that regularly. I feel like because I have so many different social spaces and friends, I get invited to certain things and I might have a plus one. And somebody's like, well, why'd you take this person? Why didn't you ask me? Well, everybody ain't for every room. And I think that's like it's even tougher when you're in friendship having to explain that dynamic. Or sometimes it's proximity. That person was with me the last time I was with that person and there was fluid energy. So naturally, I thought of the person that was with me to extend the invite to, you know? So that's one of the things that I don't like. I don't like expectations on could placed on me, on with people, on how people think I should be maneuvering or inviting them into certain spaces. I don't feel no way when I'm not invited. I don't. Correct. I really don't. I just I'm not wired that way. Yeah. You know what I mean? I don't think, why not me? I don't think she ain't asked if I wanted to, or he ain't asked if I want. I my I just I have no other thing to say other than I'm just not wired to think that way.

SPEAKER_01

And you're also not creating imaginary like expectations or unnecessary expectations. Like I always say expectations is the root of all disappointment, you know? But there are people that like set these standards for like their friends, their family, their man, and then they're they're let down.

SPEAKER_02

That also comes out of um audacity. Yep. And it also comes out of um like privilege. Like, why do you think you are the number one spot for every little thing that I do in my life? You know what I mean? Yeah, like the audacity. As if I have no other relationships. Yeah, you're not the only person. And and I value these friendships, but I think that's the hardest part of becoming, you know, when you really are becoming, I always say, like, we need to pay more attention to our friends being goats. Like, my friends are goats in the making. I got some chicks doing crazy shit right now. I got homeboys. Yeah, you know what I mean? I think just because people don't have a big following or they're not famous, I got motherfuckers that's riding for their community, doing big fucking things, things that our parents dreamt of doing, things that they set us up for that we should be doing, right? Yeah, like bitch, I'm the Beyonce in my family. I know that. Most of my friends are the Beyonce's of their family. You know what I'm saying? You said, like, so for me, the expectation is a hard no. Like, I'm not gonna let you put that on me. Yeah. I denounce it in the name of Jesus. Period. Um, question, what's the expectation that you I already said that. I wanted to answer it. Go ahead. We're gonna chop that up right. Ask yourself the question. Let me ask myself this question. Go ahead. What's the expectation that I never communicated? Oh, myself. I know what it is. Bitch, sex and finances. Oh my God. I I don't I don't like that we don't voice our opinions as women more directly. Good. Because I do expect a certain amount of sex and I do expect a certain amount of dick. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

And we they don't be like created equal, real. No.

SPEAKER_02

But I did settle for a very little penis once. I know I never said it out loud. Who did that? I ain't going to. For how long? I'll never bring this man in the back. But like when you say small, like we're talking like small. Like Vienna sausage? Yeah. And it was crazy because he was big as shit. Like he was a big guy. And no one knew that in between their those legs was nothing. Whitney Houston, bitch, I have nothing. You had to look at. But I really liked him. And you know what I convinced myself? Personality don't solve everything. Do you know what I said about it? I know you couldn't convince myself for shit. I said, what? I told myself this. Oh, this is so stupid. I'm choosing. Because it wasn't about being chosen. Come on. Yes. Oh, it gotta be somewhere. You gotta overcompensate somewhere. Fire. Fire.

unknown

Fire.

SPEAKER_02

It's like I don't even need it. Keep the slices away. I don't even need it. That's the thing I do be needed after that. But here's the thing. No, for real. I convinced myself that I was choosing someone who was a husband. You know what I told myself in my head? That shit was so bad. Oh yeah. Well, this is it that I said. I told myself, I didn't. I said, I'll buy you a whole can when we leave here. I'm about to be a whole can of a fucking. I done told myself, I said, well, self, this is like husband dick, right? This ain't side quest. I told myself it was husband sex. Like, oh, this is like, you know, because I really liked him. But then he was broke. Oh my gosh. It was worse. It was Brianna. Moving on. This shit was crazy. I don't know what time frame this Brianna was, but I know I didn't know he was. We were in the dark. I was in the deepest, darkest part of my life. Clearly. Clearly. Clearly. Couldn't see shit. Couldn't even see the dick. You could see the dick. Could not. So what is what is choosing look like when it's mutual?

SPEAKER_01

That's a good feeling. I'll say that. I think when you don't have to second guess any of your actions, your effort, your authenticity, because I truly believe I'm a giving person, but I also like, I ain't doing shit for you if you wouldn't do it for me. I'm not saying it's gotta be tit for tat, but there's no part of me that's like, oh, I'm gonna keep doing something for somebody that won't do it for me. And that includes friends and family. Um, because I I will drop everything for the people that matter to me. So when you have somebody that you don't even have to think about it, I think that is it's a peaceful feeling. It is, it it allows you to give without second guessing yourself, second guessing them. And I think it's just a healthy way to be in all relationships, I'll say. Yeah. And it doesn't have to be a lot, it just means it's reciprocity and it's it's equal. If not, you you want to give more. Like I think it also prompts better action between that person. Yeah. Because it's like, oh, like, oh, I like I want to do more. Like I'm excited to, I'm excited to surprise you for your birthday. I'm excited to, you know, like and it's safe. It's safe. It's safe.

SPEAKER_02

I agree. I feel like healthy mutual choosing one another looks intentional. It's clear. Yep. And there are boundaries on both sides. And those boundaries are respected.

SPEAKER_01

For sure. Absolutely. Intention and then like understanding. In order, I think in order for people to choose mutually, it's very much you understand each other. Yeah. You know, like you understand what this person needs, they understand what you need. Because that those choices come with I know you like to spend time with me on these days at these times, and I'm doing I'm making the same sacrifice for you, or or or something equivalent that makes you happy. So that's you're paying attention with intent. You know, like I I love that. I love that. Do you think people are choosing the way that they are choosing because of scarcity?

SPEAKER_02

Oh, or abundance.

SPEAKER_01

There ain't nothing out here. There ain't nothing out here. Scarcity. So if that's the thing, okay, let's break that down. If you have to make a choice, okay, I hope it's a good one. But it there's the there's a whole catalog of people that do not make a choice because there's so much variety. Like it's like I'm not choosing shit. I'm gonna be 70 still fucking all these bitches. Like my DMs are popping, you know, like it's it's that level of there's so much access. Yeah. So I'm just never gonna make a choice. Or there's people that really want the idea of a choice and then choose the best of. Yeah. Like I'm gonna choose the lesser of two evils and hope for the best. And then they end up, you know, hopefully it's successful. Sometimes it's not. You better hope that that person is intentional with you. But those two things can be true at the same time, I believe.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Like, what do you think about that? I believe that.

SPEAKER_02

I believe that for me in my life, for for me in this house, that there is an abundance of everything that I want, because everything I want wants me. So if you don't want me, or if you don't want to act like you want me the first time around, guess who the fuck is out? Foot on the fucking gas. Bitch, I be out. I don't give a fuck. I'm out. No fair. This is weird. You treated weird for what? That's weird. Niggas like me. I'm out of here. I'll be out of here. They like me. They like me out here. Not always, but they like me. So if you don't like me, goodbye. It's an abundance.

SPEAKER_01

No, and and to be clear, it is very much, I'm not settling, but you could also, you could observe the climate. Like, I don't need to say I like the cold to be like it's cold outside. Like it, it'd be the the shit, the dating scene got pissed and shit, and I don't know what the fuck is going on with a dating pool, but um will it get better? I don't know, but I truly believe, like you said, the the person out there for me will be the right, and they'll do everything and I'll wait for it. Facts.

SPEAKER_02

So, question where did you know better? Or when did you know better? And you stayed anyway. Because everybody didn't stay for somebody. Men and women didn't stay for the same. Bored. The plot, it'd be for the plot sometimes.

SPEAKER_01

No, I even want the plot, I'd be bored. It'd be like I'll be sitting home like, I want to go out and eat and drink today. So let me see what people's doing. Um, but no, I'll be bored. Um, and then also just comfort, right? Because we do that. Because if I don't have a like a steady, you know, person, it's like, oh, well, this person's easy. Like, this is easy. If the conversation's good, I I've definitely kept somebody in a rotation that didn't need to be there. Like, there's no future in it. I know what I'm looking for, but I bored. Boredom. Same. Boredom. I've done that.

SPEAKER_02

Loneliness. Like, I'm having a ball. I know this ain't going nowhere. And I know this motherfucker like the back of my hand.

SPEAKER_01

Selfishness. Yeah. Like it, like I want to do this for me today. Okay. Yeah. This ain't even serious, honestly. At all. Like it ain't that deep. Like, don't you worry about it. Don't think you get something for me.

SPEAKER_02

Right. Don't think you get something for me.

SPEAKER_01

Like I hung out, and then like he called me the next day, and I was like, I didn't answer all day. He was like, You alive? And I was like, Yeah, I was fucking busy. What the fuck you want? Like it didn't, like, like that, like I was bored that day. Yeah. Like I was bored that day. That was that was the day I was choosing you. Yeah, the roster. Yeah, number five. Number five. Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my goodness. So this is gonna be the the the guzzler. Oh god. And I need you to answer this, answer this truthfully. Oh, if I can. Oh, then you're gonna get the truth.

SPEAKER_01

What is different in your body when someone is aligned? You be asking me questions. I wish I had the answer because no, ain't nobody been aligned in years. Bitch, I'm deep. No, it's it's a deep question. I'll wait for it. I'll wait for it. No, I mean, because all I can think about is like good sex right now, because we ain't talking about that kind of alignment. Yeah. But I have not found somebody that is aligned with all that I am. If I did, I'd be married, bitch. What are you talking about? Um this is why we here. I got shit. We pissed off. Because if I if I wasn't pissed off, hate it. You will piss me off with this fucking question because it don't it don't exist for me right now. I want it. Um, but I will say this, I'm gonna do the opposite. I know what my body feels like when I'm not aligned. Like it's like a fucking allergic reaction. Like, like I wanna, you know, like it's like, oh, this ain't working. Like I could immediately know, like, and not on some like this person isn't good for someone else. For me, this is not working. Like, I immediately know I've assessed your whole character as it relates to mine, and this is not aligned. And I know, and my body says, hell to the naw. But since you've asked the question, I feel like you have yeah, your belly turns to butterflies.

SPEAKER_02

Go ahead. I think, well, I think no. I think when I'm aligned with someone, the feeling I feel in my body is self-regulation. Like I feel good. I don't, I don't feel anxious, I don't feel like I'm on alert. Yeah, I don't feel guarded, I don't feel like I have to protect myself. Um, I feel like I could take a nap and possibly fart in my sleep and he'll still be here. By the way, I've done that before. If you've ever been so relaxed around a motherfucker, you take a nap and you was just farting away. Oh my God, that is a different type of regulation.

SPEAKER_01

You even feel that bad about it. Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Maybe what?

SPEAKER_01

What bows? Listen, I had that once. It's been like, oh God.

SPEAKER_02

Sphinx loose. Like, oh, I'm just here uh having a beautiful dream, just pooting away. I remember I woke up, that motherfucker said, um, damn, you was passing gas and girls. I said, What was I? I didn't even care. I wasn't even embarrassed. You didn't even care. But what I will say is to wrap this up on a high note, I always say, you know, when the feeling is mutual, God is not the author of confusion. If you are confused about any situation, a relationship, a friendship, a job, anything, family, how you should be moving, that's when you sit in silence. You don't make a decision in that moment. But God is for real, not the author of confusion. So if you're in a relationship that you're confused in, you should probably take the moment, be silent, and ask yourself, is this what God has said? I don't think he has said he wanted me to go back and forth with this nigga 15 times.

SPEAKER_01

You should not be confused. If you're feeling confusion, that is definitely not the right place. It's something you need to figure out. Absolutely. Reciprocity is the bare minimum. Clarity, bare minimum. Yeah. And like you said, if when it's reciprocal and when it's mutual, it's easy to show up. Like it becomes easier. Absolutely. Even for you to pass gas.

SPEAKER_02

Even for you to pass gas. And with that being said, if y'all are looking for something mutual to sip on, something smooth, something that you can choose, baby. Great goose Altius and soda. Until next time, thank you guys so much for joining us. This is Don't Piss Me Off Podcast. I am Brianna.

SPEAKER_01

And I am Yuri. Follow us on YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, at Don't Piss Me Off Pod. Send us emails, info at don'tpissmeoffod.com. Thank you for joining us. Until next time, don't piss me off. Cheers.