Don't Piss Me Off Podcast
Where black girl brilliance shines through unfiltered opinions and a touch of podcast humor.
Don't Piss Me Off Podcast
You’re Not Healing. You’re Just Alone.
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Being alone doesn’t always mean you’re healed. Sometimes it just means no one’s close enough to challenge you.
In Episode 2, Bryana and Yuri get direct about a question people don’t like sitting with: are you actually growing, or have you just gotten comfortable being alone? We break down the difference between real healing and emotional avoidance — and why isolation can feel like peace when it’s really just control.
We get into what healing actually requires: self-awareness, accountability, emotional regulation, and the willingness to be seen. Then we contrast that with what a lot of people are calling “growth” right now — cutting people off, avoiding vulnerability, staying unbothered because no one has access to you.
The conversation pushes into hyper-independence and whether it’s really strength… or a trauma response. We talk about control, fear of disappointment, and why “I don’t need anyone” can quietly turn into emotional isolation. From friendships to family dynamics to dating, we call out the patterns that keep people disconnected while convincing themselves they’re evolving.
And then we go deeper: vulnerability. Not surface-level sharing — real exposure. The kind that actually tests whether you’re healed or just untouched.
If no one can trigger you… can anyone actually know you?
This episode isn’t anti-independence. It’s about whether independence has turned into avoidance — and what it’s costing you.
Tap in, sit with it, and be honest about what you might be avoiding. Subscribe, share with someone who needs this conversation, and leave a review so more people find the show.
Welcome to the Don't Piss Me Off podcast. If you love black girl magic, intelligence, and professionalism, baby, this is for you. My name is Brianna.
SPEAKER_03My name is Yuri. Welcome back, everybody. Last time we discussed the topic is love enough. This week we are saying, you're not healing, you're just alone.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that's a tough pill to swallow, honey. It is. But it's true. It is very true. And you know, as usual, we're never shaming people who are independent. We're not questioning their emotional availability. We're just saying stop trying to wear independence like it's a badge of honor because you think you don't need nobody or this or that. Like life is about community. We were not made to go through life on this earth alone. Correct.
SPEAKER_03And this kind of touches me because I'm definitely like an independent person in terms of how I process a lot of my emotions. But through time and growth, I've learned that I do need to share that experience with my friends and family to grow from it, right? So it's are we avoiding vulnerability by saying, like, oh, we're protecting our peace? Like there's there's a difference. Totally. It's okay to be independent, but are you using that as armor? Oh, yeah, for sure. To not let people in or to not grow. Yeah. Because are you avoiding? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I've done that a time or two. I feel like there's been different spaces in my life where I use my independence as armor because I've always been just out in the world. Like I'm my mom's like butterfly child. Like I've been out of the house since I was, I wasn't even 18 yet because my birthday is so late in the year. I was 17 leaving home. And just, you know, you live and you learn and things happen. And then you are like, whoa, let me suit up. You know what I mean? Um, but that also kind of brings me into our topic of what pissed you off this week, Miss Yuri.
SPEAKER_03You know, there's always a list of things, but I I try to stay on theme. You know, I I don't like when people avoid the hard conversations. You know, sometimes there's always you could say there's time and place. I I myself wait for time and place to share something because it's not always the right time or place. But avoiding it altogether because you don't want to be held accountable, I don't like that shit.
SPEAKER_01That's some real stuff. I feel like people do that because they feel like, oh, you know, if I don't say something or if I don't bring it up, we're gonna sweep it under rug. And now I don't have to be accountable for my actions or the part that I played in whatever the situation is, good or bad.
SPEAKER_03I don't want to hear it, right? Like, or I don't want to hear it because you're just gonna tone for it. Correct. Like I just I just want to turn that off. But a hard conversation has both sides. I'm gonna hear some stuff I don't want to hear, and so is the other person. But there are people that just avoid altogether when they have an opportunity to confront. It does have to be confrontational, but you have to address the issue sometimes, especially if it's bothering you. Yeah, and some people avoid it.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. And to me, that's hella annoying. Correct. So you're fucking weird because you know that shit went down, things need to be said, things need to be discussed. And it's a difference between like avoiding conflict because it's not the right time and place rather than avoiding because you don't want to atone for your bad behavior and you don't want to hear how piss poor your behavior was or your reaction to X, Y, and Z. Correct. And I think it's okay to make mistakes, we're human. But what I think is more important is to acknowledge, learn, learn, and atone for those, you know, mishaps or those shortcomings.
SPEAKER_03Because if you don't want growth and you don't want change, by all means, don't have the conversation. But you can't expect those things and progress if you don't want to have the hard conversation. Facts.
SPEAKER_01So tell me, tell me, who and what pissed you off this week? You know, it's not a particular who, but I think over time, what pisses me off is when people say, quote, I don't need nobody. You know, like it's a personality trait, like not needing people. First of all, we all need somebody. Correct. Number one. Correct. Number two, I feel like when people put out this disclaimer that they don't need anybody, they don't really understand the real purpose of living and being. We are all here to be a conduit from for heaven to touch earth in some way. Well, some of y'all serve a different kind of hierarchy. We ain't talking about that. Stay both. But but the point is, well, you're I gotta put that out there, child. You don't know who they're talking to, child. But but with that being said, for the most part, we are all here to serve. And I think so many people live in a way that they think they are supposed to be served. Like we are here to serve. So when you say you don't need anybody, you're not understanding the structures of community. Yep. You're not understanding the structures of um being someone that someone else can lean on. Because if you say you don't need nobody, that means you make yourself unavailable for other people. If you're not people to lean on you, to lean on you. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_03And it could be a small community. I I when people say that, like it's your community could be three people. Your community could be your household. Whatever it is, is like you said, everybody needs somebody. Maybe. And you might be using people you don't even realize you use them. It'd be them people that say they don't need nobody. They don't they can't get out the bed every day without somebody helping them do something. Or somebody paying a bill for you, somebody doing something for you.
SPEAKER_01Or they're allowing past trauma or past situations keep them from being available and open to receive and to love. Correct, you know, and I think some some of us have been there to before, but maybe not to the same extreme. But typically when somebody's like, I don't need nobody, it's because everybody has felt them. And that's unfortunate. And I'ma say that again. Most people who say, I don't need nobody, it's because most people have felt them. It's not because they don't need nobody, they need somebody. That's their trauma response. They have always had to be their own somebody. So that is their response to protect themselves. Yeah. You know? And for me, I feel like that is just such an unfortunate way to continue to live. I think when you're young and you're coming into adulthood, male or female, you go through that. I know I for sure went through it, but um I learned very quickly that I needed people and I needed people who really cared about me. So it does piss me off when I hear that, especially at this big old age in our 30s and 40s.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. They they haven't reached where you are and they need some help to get there. Yeah, talk to the lady. Talk to the lady. Talk to the lady. I love talking to the lady. Talk to talk to you. Get your therapist. Get your therapist. Yes. So let's let's unpack. Let's talk about, like we mentioned, the isolation aspect versus actually healing. Yeah. Right? Because those two different things. Just saying I'm protecting my peace and doing nothing. Well, lying, because it sounds cute. It's so it sounds good.
SPEAKER_01People love saying they protecting their peace. Listen, listen. Whole time you're scared to live. You just in your room with the shades down. Come on now. Ain't protecting nothing. And you just, you know, avoiding a vulnerability. You know what I mean? I think most people, when they say they're protecting their peace, it's because they are not healed. Because guess what? I be out and about and still protecting my peace. I be having a ball and still protecting my peace. I be doing all types of shit, toxic shit and still protecting my peace. Because you healed.
SPEAKER_03Because you healed, Brianna.
SPEAKER_01Like you're still healing. But you I'm still healing. Like I ain't part of you. But like, but like, bruh, I've done the work. So I can protect my peace and still enter spaces and add value. Correct. I don't gotta isolate and shut the fuck up to protect my peace. Protecting your peace comes from within. It has nothing to do with the outside world. It can. Or it can. Yeah. But it has nothing to do with the outside world and how you show up in that outside world. If you're protecting your peace, you're prepar you're protecting your peace in every space. Every space. Because that means you're not allowing the space to consume you. You are not of the space. You are in the space, but you're not of the space. What if your home is not peaceful? You need to fix what's inside your house. And if it's only you inside that damn house, you need to fix you. It's not just you inside the house, Rihanna. Who else up in there? Your family. Then protect your peace by looking within. Like I said, sometimes it is a within thing. When I was always triggered and I was always anxious, it was because within I did not have the tools to fucking manage it. So my portal was open for everybody to make me feel anxious or triggered or whatever, especially being an empath. But when I learned the tools that I needed to protect my peace, that's when I started walking into rooms and situations and being like, oh, that don't have nothing to do with me. That attitude or that response or the way you, you know, just got at me, I know for sure. Fair. I ain't got nothing. And that's protecting your peace sometimes. That is a part of protecting your pieces. Understanding, bitch, it ain't even about you. It's something about them or what they went through. You don't know what just happened five minutes ago and you just happened to walk into it.
SPEAKER_03And okay, so with that said, I think regardless of how people protect their peace, I think healing comes from, like you said, like self-awareness, you know, recognizing your patterns and actually like regulating your own emotions, like being responsible for how you regulate your responses, because you can't be responsible for what everybody else is doing. You have to be responsible for your own. And then also, I would say just like taking accountability. And then those people that couch how they're isolating, they're not doing or taking those steps to make sure that those things are regulated versus just I like we're just gonna shut it down. Yeah. You can't turn the car off and expect it to work. Right. You know, and I think there's a difference between actually doing the work. Unless they're a neutral. We're gonna push it up to him. We're gonna push it up to him. They're fucking neutral. You know, and I only I say it too because I think, like, I'm my personal, like I'm an introvert, right? I'm good at being an extrovert, but I'm I I genuinely am an introvert and I saw that there's different ways people define it, but like I I gain energy alone. Like some people like, oh, like I'm having a bad day. I need to go out and like relax.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah, fuck that.
SPEAKER_03But I do like for me, like I do recharge like with my alone time and like my social battery most definitely expires. However, I do think that there's a difference between taking time to recharge, but also in that midst, digesting like what my pattern was, how I messed up, having conversations and being accountable. Like, I I don't associate certain parts of it as isolating because I still think there's work that needs to be done no matter how and where I am, whether it's home, out with people, or wherever it is, and and people really acknowledging the difference.
SPEAKER_01You know what I'm saying? I agree. Do you feel like so? When we talk about people who say, Oh, I don't need anybody, they tend to be hyper-independent. Do you think hyper-independence is a trauma response?
SPEAKER_03It can be. Yeah. I I think more times than not, right? Because I don't think there's one person that will turn away good help. We ain't saying somebody's gonna fuck up your shit, but good help if it's available and reliable. Yeah. But when you, like you said, you said it before, when people have constantly been disappointed or let down, where it's like, I'll just do it myself. Yeah. Because when you got a when you got a good teammate, when you got a good partner working on something, it makes things so much easier. That's why there's people want marriage, you know, because when you have a teammate that is actually on board, whether it's friendship, family, whatever, business, but when somebody says they don't need anyone, it's because they haven't had a good one. Yeah. You know, so I I do think that most times that hyper independence comes from not ever having or not having many good examples.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you know, you hit it on the nail with reliability. That's like the punch word right there. Hyperindependence comes from not having people who were reliable who should have been, especially typically in your childhood. People that you should have been able to depend on, you couldn't. So then you grew this isolation of I gotta go at it alone and I gotta do it myself. Yeah, and then that evolves into hyper-independence once you're an adult. Yeah. Damn, that's fucked up. It is because I went through that shit. I'm still a hyper-independent bitch. God damn it. Also, I know it look like I don't need no help. I need all the help. So if you're watching this and you want to help a bitch, it don't even matter. Just reach out and touch somebody. Help me. Help me, help me. I don't care what I look like and how I present. I always need help.
SPEAKER_02A helping hand. Shit. It was a song about that. Literally, literally.
SPEAKER_01Lean on me.
SPEAKER_02Okay. I need to lean on somebody.
SPEAKER_03Period. You know. Now, I know you've touched on it, but is avoiding date, dating growth or fear. Like, you know, those people like saying, I don't need nobody, or like, I'm just gonna be alone. Like, you're avoiding dating or even just relationships in general. Like, it's not just a people, but it's sort of like, I don't need nobody in this, I don't need to deal with, like, I don't need to create bonds. Yeah. Growth or fear? Some people they don't label that are protecting peace.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think it depends on where you are. Once again, it everything leads back to healing. Are you in a place where you're avoiding healing? So you're avoiding people, or are you in your healing and saying, hey, I don't need to project this onto anybody. I gotta figure this out first before I go back out there and start to date, right? And um, I've once again been on both sides of it. When I was unhealed, I was overly tapping in, just unhealed, not loving myself just like you had a dugout. Okay, bitch, in the day, coach, put me in. Like, where's the look at my little starting five? Ain't got no business with none, but the lineup was lit. You know what I mean? And you know, some people respond to stuff differently, and it has nothing to do with, as I always say, like everything's not always over sexualized. Sometimes it's just having that boredom because you're not sitting with yourself. So you what you say? What you doing, what you doing, what you doing. Yeah, it depends on who's available, you know what I mean. Um, maybe I just want to go out for a cocktail. I love going out with a cocktail with two and three. Uh, you know what I mean? Like you got your favorites. Yeah, you got your favorites. You right?
SPEAKER_03Anyone can take the double one spot.
SPEAKER_01But also, uh, when I went through my healing with therapy, I didn't date or fool with anybody for like 11 and a half months because that was just a different type of I am not avoiding, I am choosing not to do this right now because I am figuring things out with me. No. And I think we all go through that to a certain extent, especially if you finally decide you need to talk to the lady. You know, you really go to the point where you're like, ugh, I don't want any interaction with anybody right now because I am working on this thing and I am not gonna let anybody ruin this. Plus, that shit costs a lot. Correct. So we ain't letting this work go to waste.
SPEAKER_03You I think people need to embrace being challenged and tested in a healthy way, right? Like you don't want nobody coming in there, you know, being aggressive or toxic. However, sometimes the best friendships and relationships have to challenge and test you. You know, you gotta let it happen.
SPEAKER_01Have you pulled away from friendships and called it growth?
SPEAKER_03No, I I I do think that I have pulled away from friendships where we were in the process of learning each other and it's different. Um and I wouldn't say that I grew past, we grew apart. Right? Like I think when people hear the term growth, they think it's oh well, like I moved on. You know, I think people can grow apart. Yeah, you know, no less love or anything, but I I I have had to pull away because values changed, you know, and I had to grow apart. Um, and I've pulled away because I don't think it's on me to try to change somebody, especially us big, big at this big age, you know. And the age is only getting bigger, those numbers only getting bigger. Which is crazy. God bless it though. Listen, we aging well. Um but I I do believe that there are times for me where I think that there's no fight that needs to be had because I'm not gonna change who you are. I just think people can grow apart and things change.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03You know, so I in my instance, yes. But do you think that sometimes, not necessarily you, but like have you had friends where there's been like maybe like some silent resentment where they haven't addressed something, but their behavior towards you has changed in a negative or toxic way? And you've had to learn later that they was they were upset with you.
SPEAKER_01Whole time, bitch. I didn't even know that was going on. Like, what did that whole time? Whole time. I'm thinking you just kind of backed off because you know, you maybe you're going through some shit. Cause you know, not everybody shares when they're going through things. People go through things differently. Some people isolate to figure out what they're going through. Yeah, some people isolate because they don't want to bring the energy, like, oh, I know I'm gonna have bad energy. Let me just not even go because I don't want to turn everybody day sour, which I can appreciate. But then you find out a motherfucker was mad, you like, I didn't even know. And it has nothing to do with self-awareness, it's just some shit you made up.
SPEAKER_03You made this up the other day. We was out and somebody was mad at us, didn't even because we didn't say we didn't even know you was there. We didn't even know you was there. Baby didn't even know you was having a ball and couldn't see two sheets to the wind, bitch.
SPEAKER_01Didn't even know you was in this motherfucker, and you made up this whole story. Whole story. Like, girl, that's the shit I don't like. You want to talk about pissing me off. That's the shit I don't like because once again, it lets me know you don't see outside of yourself. Yeah, you know what I mean? One thing that I had to learn was to how not to take things so fucking personal.
SPEAKER_00Yep.
SPEAKER_01I used to take everything so fucking personal. And the moment I discovered, bitch, everything ain't about you. Motherfuckers be going through shit. Life is hard.
SPEAKER_03Life is hard. Life is hard.
SPEAKER_01Life is hard. Maybe you just walked up after someone got bad news. Maybe like you just don't know. So even just even in public, like like little shit at the grocery store used to just annoy the fuck out of me. And I remember when I was going through shit, and it wasn't until later in life that I discovered people just really being their own head going through shit. So if someone's being rude, not that I think being rude is okay. Sometimes you have those moments of grace, you don't even know where it comes from. Yeah, it just swooped down from the sky, and the Lord is like, do not turn up and act on this moment. Have grace. You know what I mean? Because I think about the moments where I've maybe needed grace where I wasn't my best self. Yep. And um And somebody was graceful. And someone was graceful to me. So, like, I think the biggest problem with people is they take shit so personal because they're caught up in their own shit, and because they don't do the work, and because they're so avoidant, they think everybody else is avoidant. No, bitch, it's a projection of you. Look in the mirror. That mirror be. Don't it tell you some shit? Listen, baby. Listen, baby. Listen. Do you feel like avoiding conflict and avoiding hard repair conversations are one and the same thing?
SPEAKER_03It depends. That's a regular answer. Um it's okay to avoid conflict, but I I think there's a way to be conscious of your words to have difficult conversations with care. So I I could say that I try to have conversations like where we try not to make it elevated, right? Like, like you told me when you're having a difficult conversation with a friend, how you hold their hand. I do. You did, you did, girl. I'd be like, bitch, I'm gonna hold your hand when I say this shit. Correct. But it really, like, I think that is a mechanism to avoid a difficult situation having intense conflict. So like I I think it depends on how or how you define the level of what conflict could be. Like, obviously, conflict is a disagreement. Yeah. But you we don't want to be riffing and fighting with our friends. So, like, obviously, sometimes you avoid, you don't want your your the people you care about to be mad. However, you have to have hard conversations. It's how you have them. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I have avoided conflict by taking a pause and giving the situation time to breathe before having a hard conversation. Yeah. And maybe sometimes I've put it off longer than I needed to, but it didn't mean that it was about me. It was it's about understanding time in the window of opportunity so the other person can receive it. Yep. Because what's a good time for you still ain't a good time for them, and they're not going to receive your words and it's gonna fall on deaf deaf ears. Definitely not. So, and I truly wholehearted believe that just because I'm over it today doesn't mean you are. So anything I gotta say right now, you still are not going to hear in this conversation, no matter how I acquiesce to where you are, so that your language or the language that I give. Is received well. It don't matter how great I put it, you're not gonna receive it well because you're still upset.
SPEAKER_03You have to give, you do. And and like you said, sometimes we do it too soon, sometimes we wait too long. But I do think a lot of those situations, some they need room to breathe. They do need room to breathe. Well, you know what? Go ahead.
SPEAKER_01And let me just add this. Go. Go. You are not healed if you are tested and you respond the same way. Because sometimes we think like, oh, that shit ain't gonna bother me no more. And then years later, you do the same thing. A situation happened that you thought you healed from, and you are triggered the same way, and you respond the same way, and you end up actually not being healed from that thing. And it's not a judgment. We've all been there where you like think like, oh, I'm past it. Like that shit don't bother me no more. Da-da-da-da. And it could be today, tomorrow, it could be in two years, and it happens and whoop. And the situation ain't got nothing to do with nothing. Whole time you ain't got over some shit, and these people wasn't even a part of that shit. Yep. At all. But you've been holding it. But you responding.
SPEAKER_03You ain't go see the lady. You ain't got we told you to go talk to that lady. You didn't go see look what happened. And look what happened. You didn't listen.
SPEAKER_01You did not listen, babe. You have not arrived. You have you have not arrived. You thought you were over it, and then you put that on some people that wasn't even there. You did. Are we confusing strength with emotional distance? Ooh. Go big, go big, Eerie. Ooh.
SPEAKER_03I'll admit I do sometimes. Speaking for myself, not everybody, right? Um, sometimes, and I have a lot of circumstances in my like family, life, health, relationships, I have to be the strong one, right? So, and in those relationships, it can be demanding and like taxing and stressful on me. So, in order for me to maintain that strength, I have to distance to be able to separate myself from it because when I surround myself and it, it is draining. So for me, I know that I kind of have to maintain strength alone to be able to attack it again. So, like it's it's a balance for me, having the strength, isolating from those things that are draining, but I can't get rid of. So it's it's it's the process. I'm in a middle of a cycle at the moment. Yeah. But um, I can also separate that to say that there are people that like I'm strong because I could do it on my own. Like it goes into that hyperindependence. It goes into that, you know, um, I don't need anyone, where they're confusing that strength from also then saying, I do need someone. This is hard, I need help. Like that, it it's it's strong to be vulnerable. You know, it's also strong to be vulnerable. It's me like calling you and being like, bitch, I'm going through it right now, you know. Like even in the midst of me trying to be strong, like it's being able to then have people to lean on, even if it's not in that situation. Like I realize who like my support system is. So like you you still can heal in that, but you gotta realize when you when you're strong and when you're not.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. You know, when you just not that bitch. We you know what I'm saying? Always, we always gonna be that, but sometimes I gotta admit, I'm not that bitch right now, and I need my bitch to be a better bitch than me.
SPEAKER_03You that bitch with that hair though. Girl, is it doing what it's supposed to be doing?
SPEAKER_01It's doing way more than yours is too then. Freshy. Fresh. Fresh. Um, I I literally, no notes. I have gone through where you are, and I'm on the other side of it. What I think has happened to me is by destiny, I had distance, right? As soon as I left home for school, things started happening. Yeah, but I also sought distance because like I applied locally to places like within the state and out of state, and what came through first was out of state. So I went with what was for sure versus waiting. Um, and then things were happening emotionally in the family, and um, I was happy with the distance. At that point, I was avoiding the emotional um responsibility, the emotional responsibility. As I grew older and I became who I wanted to be, um, I realized that um I had to create boundaries to protect my peace, truly protecting my peace. So those boundaries helped me be in tune with my emotions, be emotionally mature, yeah, be emotionally intelligent, and not use my distance as a crutch, but to say, hey, I don't have the capacity for this conversation. Yeah. That's not where I'm at. I don't live in that space. Because I think there's a way to uh share disdain or, you know, lack of whatever's happening in the family without putting it in on people. No, and I think the hardest thing is creating boundaries with your parents and with your siblings because these are the people who have always been there. However, when you grow and heal and you get to a point where it's like, hey, it's not that I'm avoiding this conversation. I'm avoiding the way that you're coming to me with this conversation. One of the things that I always ask, and um, I've practiced this through a friend of mine who is an amazing therapist. Shout out to Alyssa Mankow at Alyssa Marie Wellness. Um, she taught me this years ago uh in my early 20s. Was um if if if she wanted to share something with me, she would say, Hey, do you have the emotional capacity for me to get into X, Y, and Z right now? And because you don't know, you never know. People never know. I might be at work, I might be driving, I might be having my own kind of terrible day. So what happens with family is they tend to call and just dump as soon as you answer. You didn't even do it too. Friends do it too friends do it too. But particularly, I'm talking about family and creating that with family because it's harder with family and you and it takes a lot to have that boundary with family with friend. You can kind of be like, bitch, I ain't got time for this today. Uh I'm gonna holler at you later, I'm gonna call you later when I get home. Whatever. Family, you kind of just get stuck into it, and now you're listening and it's draining the shit out of you.
SPEAKER_03Yep.
SPEAKER_01So I think there is levels to it, but I do think I have actually truly intentionally arrived to where I could balance it and have my boundary up and then say, hey, now I can talk about it. What is going on? And I need you to speak like in this tone and in this way, so that I could truly hear you and be there for you. Oh no, absolutely. But as long as you're yelling, screaming, or just downloading me on a day that I can't even take and process a download, it ain't happening.
SPEAKER_03No. And it's it's just funny because like sometimes we start these conversations and they they start off like with a dating undertone, but like it'll come back to like these things be triggered in families and friendships, too. Like, especially this one, I feel like these boundaries that we've had to set because family members be the ones that be trying to break them boundaries all the time.
SPEAKER_01They don't even know it's there. Because they don't give a shit.
SPEAKER_03They be steamrolling them boundaries.
SPEAKER_01Rolling, like, bitch, I'm big time. Bitch, I'm bitch, I'm bitch, I'm big time. And like, damn, you you motherfucking manny fresh in this. Listen, running that Sam Boney over the ice.
SPEAKER_03Like, I'm just like, man, but like you really like it when you dig deep, it's like this is where it started, like processing, like, well, what's the family situation like? We've tried to set them boundaries for years now. Yeah, you know, too many years, bitch. Decades. You know, okay, you know, but let's let's do a little real life scenario. Oh, I like that. All right, quick fire. You've been single for three years, no drama, no stress, no intimacy. Are you healed or just comfortable alone?
SPEAKER_01Did we say no intimacy? No intimacy. At that point, you're just comfortable alone. You've what are you doing? You've learned how to be intimate with yourself, and there's no problem with that. However, three years, unless there's some type kind of type of commitment to God, three years alone, male or female, yeah, you're just comfortable alone. You're afraid to get out there, honey. And no intimacy, because I think there's levels to intimacy. Yeah, intimacy don't mean fucking. I told you, everything is not sexually related. But in this tense, three years with no damn body have an intimacy. I'm gonna have to I'm gonna have to dive into the other part. Something's wrong. Yeah. You're afraid. You're living in fear. Correct. Fear of getting hurt or fear of hoeing again. The fear of hoeing again is so real. Like, ooh, what if I get out there and I'm gonna start hoeing again? Yeah. Once a hoe, always a hoe. She'd have been the hoe would have been back out there. No, after a couple, after three months, that hoe would have been back out there. Once a hoe, always a hoe. XOXO. Respectfully yours. Yours truly. Okay. Um someone emotionally available shows interest. You feel exposed. Do you lean in or you pull back?
SPEAKER_03If you're healed, you lean in. Like I like, listen, the point is somebody is showing emotional interest in you. Your feeling of exposure, bitch. What they look like.
SPEAKER_01We talking about emotional stability. Okay, we that was last episode. I know. I just want to know what they look like. Who is showing who exactly is showing interest here? I'll let you know if I'm leaning in or pulling back. Has nothing to do with my healing. Who is showing me interest? People be showing interest. Oh, I'm supposed to lean into everybody.
SPEAKER_03If we are staying on brand, we're supposed to be healed. Listen, you're not supposed to feel exposed. You're supposed to lean into they're emotionally available to you to be a source. Okay, girl. Your turn. You say you want love, but you haven't opened up to anyone in months. Are your actions aligned? Easy answer. No. No. Hell no.
SPEAKER_01You can't have your cake and eat it too. You if you want love, you gotta be open. You know, they say it's really you can't have Kate and Edith too. That's the real one. It's a bitch named Kate and a bitch named Edith. You can't have Kate and Edith too. Bitch, if you give me a slice of cake, I'm gonna eat it too. But you know the real phrase is you cannot have Kate and Edith too. Edith sounds ugly. So I'm definitely fucking with Kate. I'm fucking with Kate.
unknownI'm fucking with Kate.
SPEAKER_01Oh Lord. So we are enjoying this conversation and we are sipping on Gray Goose Altius with a splash. Don't you love a little splash? I never do any more than a splash. I always like a splash. Don't tutorial too long. A benefit sparkling. You choose your choice.
SPEAKER_03Um, with that being said, I just like to say that we've talked a lot about some good stuff today. And strength does include softness and vulnerability. And I would like to remind y'all, please subscribe to our YouTube channel. I know you've enjoyed the show. We are available on Spotify as well as Apple Podcasts. Check us out on social media. We got them clips for you, those memes for you, Instagram, TikTok. Please email us your questions, your comments. You want to hear your stories. You want to hear what pissed you off this week. Please email us at info at don'tpissmeoff pod.com. Thank you for joining us for episode two. My name is Yuri.
SPEAKER_01And my name is Brianna. Join us next week for Pretty Privilege Is Real. Until next time, Yuri. Don't piss me off. Cheers. Cheers. Oh shit. You could keep that.