Don't Piss Me Off Podcast

Rituals Not Routines

• DPMO • Season 2 • Episode 10

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0:00 | 44:06

What if self-care isn't about bubble baths, expensive products, or waiting until you're exhausted to finally slow down?

In the Season 2 finale, Bryana and Yuri challenge the idea of "self-care" and unpack what real maintenance looks like. They discuss burnout cycles, why motivation isn't enough, and how discipline—not perfection—creates stability.

Because most people don't actually have routines…

They have recovery cycles.

SPEAKER_03

Welcome to the season finale of the Don't Piss Me Off podcast. If you love Black Girl Brilliance, unfiltered opinions, and real talk, baby, you know you're in the right place. My name is Brianna.

SPEAKER_05

My name is Yuri, and today we are closing the season out with self-care. So, rituals, not routines. What habits keep us in our best selves and what we focus on as women? And today we have a special guest for you all. Brianna.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, honey, we have the baddest, Miss Jazz Jackson. She is an entrepreneur and she is the queen of rituals and keeping routine. Hey, Jazz.

SPEAKER_04

Hello. Hey ladies.

SPEAKER_06

Welcome, welcome.

SPEAKER_04

Oh my God. We got company. I know. Thank you for having me. You guys look amazing. And I feel so honored to be at your season finale. Yes, we're happy to have you. This is like the best. It's the best. It's the best.

SPEAKER_03

It makes sense. Like I feel like, you know, when we um ran into each other at the gym, I immediately I was like, this is the the okay, the person. And the reason why I say that is because you are so inspirational on social media and you are so transparent about what you do ritualistically to take care of yourself. Yeah. And even when we fall off, you always know what to do. You know exactly what steps to take to get yourself back aligned because we're not always disciplined, we're not always motivated. Yeah. But one of my favorite things about you is you know what to do and you do it.

SPEAKER_04

Thank you so much. And I will say, when we saw, well, she saw me. I didn't see her because I was blind. I'm blind at the back. I'm blind then, I'm sure. So I was like, hello. Literally. And then it was like, oh, like right here. I was like, oh yeah, hey, hey girl. Yeah. But thank you so much. I mean, I've been, I've been, I guess you would say, um, in this health space for well over a decade now. Yeah. And, you know, I don't have any like a formal background, you know, I didn't go to school for it, but I've I've just used my life's work in um bettering myself as a woman, as a mother, um, and using my desire to just show up better in the world to um do this work. And I've used my platform to do that, and it's it's done well. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

No, I love that. And I think all of us sitting on the couches are adult women that very much focus on our own health and our we be in the gym. Yes. We be in the gym. And it's and it's for us. Like I think people think that, oh, like we do it for others, or like, so so it's the appearance, but it very much makes you feel better. It gives you that extra confidence when you put your clothes on, but it's also to make your life longer, to make you healthier for your family. You as a mother, I'm sure, so you can live longer for your child.

SPEAKER_04

And you know, honestly, I was having a conversation this more this morning, um, and we were talking about how as black women, we are really coming to the forefront of taking care of ourselves in a way that we weren't represented in that way before. Never. We were never drinking. We were never, we were never, right? And we have like twos and fews throughout, but the way that we are like taking control of our health and very particular about it, then we can have conversations about macros and and um you know sleeping properly and whether it's yoga or uh heavy lifting, like we're we're in it.

SPEAKER_03

And um, yeah, I'm very I'm very proud of us for that. I love that. And I tell everybody all the damn time when they be asking me while I'm up in there, bitch, I'm fucking vain. Yes, I do it for vanity. I'm not gonna lie. I think I think vanity is like the added benefit to taking care of yourself. Like, bitch, I want to look fucking good. I want to be as fine as fuck, as long as fuck.

SPEAKER_04

But I'm gonna take it one step further because when we don't talk about, look, I want to look good naked. Yeah, hey, look, you pin me over.

SPEAKER_05

I want to do it. Always look. I may love a suit, but I love a swimsuit. I want to wear the string, so exactly. And I want to have no worries when I put them on, and that makes me comfortable. So let me ask you this.

SPEAKER_04

So do you do you feel like um are you are you comfortable? Because I have a little cellulite, I'm very curvy, you know, and it's like even no matter how much I work out, there is a part of me that's gonna have a little bit of a little bit of something, but I still I still wear my my string bikinis and I don't know.

SPEAKER_05

I will make sure you bring it if we gonna absolutely always summertime shy. I would have to buy a fullback bikini because I don't own one no more. I listen girl, and mine's even eat eat it up anyway, girl.

SPEAKER_04

So it turned into a thong. No matter it turned to a thumb. It was always a string.

SPEAKER_03

But before we go in too deep, I got to know, and I know you've seen the show before, so we're just gonna jump right into it. Maybe we should start with jazz. Jazz, what pissed you off this week?

SPEAKER_05

You know, we have to initiate you the right way.

SPEAKER_04

Honestly, honestly, in the nature of this topic, what pissed me off this week was uh Dr. Cheyenne Bryant. Oh, wow. Y'all, y'all, y'all asked me. No. But y'all ask me. Go ahead. Go ahead. But in the in the nature of this topic, because and it's less about it's less about her, but more about um when we give people platforms and they take advantage of it in this way, especially for such a important topic like mental health, we have to be mindful of who we are passing the torch to. Absolutely. And I think that this conversation is less about the person and more about who are we looking at to be at the forefront of this. And you know, rather you're beautiful, obviously gorgeous, yeah, but there are so many professionals that do this work um and are behind the scenes. And I honestly I just want to see more of them getting the same opportunities. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_05

Because they're really at the forefront of doing this life's work. So, and that's not even what pissed me off this week, but what you said is so important because the other day I was having a conversation with someone, they were talking about how like grown adults are getting like medical advice from social media platforms without any background checks, credentials. So you are very right that people need to be mindful of the source because just because they have a microphone and millions of followers is does not necessarily mean it comes accredited.

SPEAKER_03

And that's crazy as the fuck opening up your phone instead of going to go talk to the real lady. That's where we are right now. I think that's insane. Because I love my therapist down, honey. I know this bitch be excited when my appointments come up.

SPEAKER_04

I'd be excited, but my appointments, I'd be like, oh, I can't wait to talk to her.

SPEAKER_03

And I know she feels the same way. Like, who's she coming with this week, child? I think she thinks I'm fucking nuts.

SPEAKER_00

We all got a little something. We all got a little something.

SPEAKER_05

That's okay. Yuri, what pissed you off this week? We're gonna keep mine on brand. Um, in the gym, when I'm working out, I'm lifting my heavy loads, and somebody wanna come tap on my shoulder to give me advice on my form. I'll be like, I've been lifting since I was in college playing. Yeah. Like, are you serious?

SPEAKER_04

Now, man or woman, though.

SPEAKER_05

It's always the man. It's always the man. And like, I have my airpods in so that I don't hear you. So the men have to take them out. Now you interrupting, like, huh? Now I don't speak English. That's so annoying.

SPEAKER_03

It's just very annoying. Like, yeah, the ghetto. Please. Also, why the fuck are you talking to me?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, and then now I gotta be rude every time because if I get too nice, then you're gonna think you could talk to me every time. I don't I get in and I get out. I have sets and I time them. Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Also, the universal don't talk to me sign language in the gym is earphones or headphones. Absolutely. Unless you think I'm gonna hurt myself for real, for real, or if you you know They don't think that. They don't think that at all. They don't. Ain't no way you think that's it.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, they I mean I feel like they just take any and every opportunity to you. If you look their way, yes, here's my sign. Here's my sign. Now, I there are some cuties in the gym. I do be kind of in the one we go to? Yeah. We go to a small gym. So let me know.

SPEAKER_03

No, it is very small. It is very small. And I prefer the morning group. I've gone in the evening. I'm like, the evening group is not my group. The morning group, the morning group, it is one or two to look at. You see what I'm saying? Yeah, so you know. Besides me and you, because we definitely want to be pretty grouped.

SPEAKER_01

We don't want any two. We're looking at each other like that.

SPEAKER_05

I'm just but rounded out. What pissed you off this week?

SPEAKER_03

Oh man, as we're talking about rituals, not routines, um, burnout has really pissed me off this week. And I'm typically really good at um managing productivity. However, um, in certain seasons, your plate is just full. And then also it's what you asked for. So it's one of those things where I'm not upset by it. Uh a bitch is just tired. Like, like you know what I mean. But this is exactly what I prayed for. So I think the balance in that is still making sure I take care of myself first at the top of the day, which is, you know, my time in the morning, the process of me eating properly to fuel my day, and then going into the gym and then opening up the work phone, right? Um, but I think, you know, burnout pissed me off this week if I'm being super transparent about the week that I've had, but I'm extremely grateful for um the productivity and the opportunities that are arriving right now. But um a bitch needs a day or two. Yeah. Yeah, like to just shut the fuck up. True. Like I, you know, it could be a staycation. I just want to shut the fuck up. Anything. I don't want to answer nothing. I don't want to talk about nothing. Like I just need a solid 48 to 72 of just me.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

All right, let's let's let's dig in some more. Um, so what does self-care look like on a day-to-day basis? Because the the point of this episode is really to give, you know, our listeners an idea of what they can do to have rituals that, you know, help them in their day-to-day, you know, especially somebody like you who is actually like a professional and like that has become part of your daily journey and daily business. You know, what could you recommend to women to start to begin that self-care?

SPEAKER_04

Absolutely. Yeah, I you know, honestly, you there there needs to be an importance on being regimented. And honestly, it starts the night before because you're setting the the the playbook for the next day. So that looks like, you know, and it sounds cliche, but getting to bed at a certain time, actually turning off the phone or you know, just trying to, you know, pull away from the phone. Um, you know, you talked about burnout, like that just always being on the phone, someone always being available to speak to you, like you have to know when to say, I'm not going to allow that, right? So for me, my morning starts around like 5 a.m.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

And that's been my mainstay for for many years. Um, I start with uh taking liquid vitamins in the morning, um, vitamin D. Um, I also uh love taking warm water with lemon and a little bit of first thing in the morning on an empty stomach, and that helps, right? Um quiet. Some time for quiet, you know. I know that that can't be for all women, but whatever that might mean to you, maybe you're in the shower and that's and that's your time. But time to just really ground yourself, uh, set the set the play for for the day. And then immediately after that, I'm at the gym. Now, for me, the gym is like um it's like it's it's like religion. You know, it's it's what I do to keep myself grounded. Um, having come from a background of uh going through a couple of bouts of depression throughout my lifetime, uh, that was really what set the stage for me to to want to live a healthier lifestyle because the foods that we eat um that impacts depression. Absolutely. Um and that was that was a big thing for me. So cleaning up my diet that way. Um but also, you know, they say an idle mind is the devil's playground. So keeping myself busy, you know, and that has been that really shifted the trajectory of my life.

SPEAKER_03

I love that for you. And you know, I've known you for a couple of years now, but what I really, really like about your journey through fitness is that you are always so honest. You share the good and the bad, you share, of course, in time when you're ready about your your lows. And I think that's what for me is so engaging and inspiring about you is that there is no shame in when things don't look like a highlight online. And you have been really, really great at making sure that you produce something that is not just visible and engaging, but it's authentic to you in your real life journey and where you're at in that moment. And then I think so many people always resonate. I know I do. So I I really like that you continue to be like, hey, today was a great day, and this is you know how it started, or today was a terrible day, but this is the routine I stuck with even though I didn't want to.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, that I I'm I'm happy you said that because this was this season was probably the most difficult season of of my life. So 2025 was extremely difficult for me. I took a huge mental blow. So at the top of the year, um, my youngest brother died unexpectedly. Oh, yeah. And um thank you. Uh he was 27 and he he he unexpectedly passed away. Um and so obviously, like I I am, you know, I pride myself on being able to just power through, right? Like I'm often in very uh high stress environments and you know, uh running a business, being at the forefront of social media and things like that. Like there's a there's a a level of stress that's always with you, you know what I mean? But what I wasn't prepared for and what and what really rocked me was grief. Grief does something to you. Yeah, it's a it's a different beast, you know. And that really broke me down. There was no amount of ritual, there was no amount of of get up and go, like like grief is a different beast, you know. And um I spent many seasons in shame because I I didn't know how to power through that. And I was, and to your point, people look at look to me, oh jazz, you know what, Jazz, I know you're gonna get up and do it. Not today.

SPEAKER_05

Not today, not tomorrow.

SPEAKER_04

My God, I there were days that I just being able to get out of bed, getting being able to take a shower was a was a was a big um you know power play for me, you know. So what I've learned in this season is that you know, there are some some moments in life where you just don't have it. Yeah. And I think that's okay. And that's okay because sometimes we are just faced with with um challenges that are out of our control, you know, and there's no there's no amount of right or wrong or or you know, here is how you get back to it. No, sometimes it's like life is just like you just need to sit down and and let it pass. And so now I'm in that let it pass season and I'm I'm getting back, but it's it's been a struggle.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. And I think it's great that you can recognize it too. If the moment you can recognize and say, I'm not okay, or this is taking over me in a way that I am either too familiar with, right? Because sometimes we have these ebbs and flows and we get familiar with when that season is here, or where it's like I don't even understand this and I need to sit with me. Yeah. Fuck the routine, fuck the ritual. I need to just sit with me right now and also not look to Instagram for help. Okay. Honestly. But but really, you know, having the the um resources to lean in somewhere and say, I'm not okay. So I respect you, I admire you. I did not know that um you had a passing.

SPEAKER_04

Well, I'm I'm I'm um true, true to my Capricorn nature, y'all would never know what we're going through. Hello. Hello, Virgo, so I get it. Like we'll be going through hell and and nobody will know. But, you know, I think that for me, that's cool, you know. But uh, you know, in in my work as well, I I I did say that once I stepped back forward, uh, you know, I do want to be honest about the fact that, you know, this last one, this one was the one.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it took care.

SPEAKER_04

And and sometimes, like you said, like I I wasn't on social media, I wasn't talking about it, but I'm thankful for the village that I did have. It really showed, and this goes back to, you know, um, rituals of just like, who do you have around you in these moments? And I was able to see that I had some wonderful friends that really like set in the fold with me, prayed with me, my therapists, you know, people were just really with me in a way that I had never seen. Yeah. And I needed to see that because I'm so used to doing things alone. I was like, well, I'm really not, I'm really not in this life alone. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And people care about you. We're not meant to go through this life alone. I've said this before on the show. We are absolutely not meant to go through life alone. And I think when you don't look like what you're going through, there's this assumption that, you know, the maintenance or the way that you maintain, there's always an assumption about your presence because of that, whether it be good, bad, or indifferent. Yeah. But um I think the beauty and the blessing of knowing and being grounded and knowing that you serve a higher power and a higher purpose is that you always continue to show up when the time is right and you show up as you are supposed to.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. Yeah. And I think a lot of what you said that self-care also includes not like your mental health, your physical health, your spiritual health. So sometimes if you are lacking in your physical health, sometimes it's sometimes the spiritual has to overcompensate, sometimes the mental has to overcompensate. But as you're keeping those rituals consistent, at least you have something else to pull on. You know, like you weren't alone. You kept your relationships healthy. And that was all part of your self-care, especially as women. Yes. You know, that is extremely important to be mindful of that. Because you have to give yourself grace to fall off. Because sometimes we do, and we help to get back up, you know.

SPEAKER_03

But yeah, I need a help today. My coochie was so hairy. I ain't gonna even lie. I had to, once again, remember, I told y'all that I was in the shits, so I had to cancel appointments because there was no time for the maintenance.

SPEAKER_06

So, what do you do? Like, did you just take care of yourself? Baby, hell no.

SPEAKER_03

Because I ain't gonna pick up that ritual.

SPEAKER_04

Wait, hold on, don't you?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, they're gonna have to get this wig snapped back.

SPEAKER_04

Listen, I I've talked to my to my wax lady and she does it herself. And I'm like, girl, how can you sit there and do that? Who's gonna count the three?

SPEAKER_05

It's not doing it.

SPEAKER_03

So you should be okay. I tried it during the pandemic. Girl by the game. I tried it during the pandemic and never did it again. I still got the whole brand new kit. No, brand new beads. Never did it again. But that's the truth, though, right?

SPEAKER_04

Because I want to do laser. Do you have a laser?

SPEAKER_05

I do. I love it Okay, are you done with the sessions or are you still like I did like a round of four and then I did like an extra three, and now like really nothing grows. See, I need to do the laser. I wear too many babies.

SPEAKER_03

Because you know, well, for me personally, on melanated, especially darker melanated skin, they have to have a certain type of machine. So you can't just go in somewhere just because they do laser. You gotta kind of know a little bit of the information so that you can ask about what equipment they're using. Okay. But maybe we should see it. Look at maybe we should go. Hey. Maybe we should go together, child. We should be in there. Y'all take care of this. I'm like, they good. Y'all do this? But we're back. We're back and bald headed now, so we're good, honey. Snatch that whole week. It's a nice hot weekend. I'm finna act the fucking food.

SPEAKER_04

Some women can like can like go around and have a bush. I cannot. I need to be, I need to be the bald headed, idiot.

SPEAKER_03

No hair nowhere. I had to skip a week. I didn't like it, but I had to do it. It was listen, I didn't have the capacity. The best we could do is clean that motherfucker. The best I can do is clean it.

SPEAKER_04

And I have too much five. Like, I got like I got, I will start a forest fire. Okay. I got too much going on down there.

SPEAKER_05

I think I got nowhere to go, and I'm still being like, we gotta clean this up. No, I'm gonna clean you.

SPEAKER_03

I don't like it, but it's the truth. We all done been there, child. I say, you know what? Today is the day. You shall no longer.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

And it's not as terrible as I'm saying. I'm exaggerating, but still, I don't give a fuck.

SPEAKER_04

Well, no, you have your limit. It's like this is too much down here.

SPEAKER_03

I need to clean this up. Now, what do you think about people who feel like, oh, they need more time in a day? As someone who starts their day at 5 a.m., I feel like we hear the excuse a lot from both men and women like there's just not enough time in a day. Sometimes that can be true when when we are thinking about capacity, because sometimes it's just how much capacity we can take in a day, right? But for those who complain, those who do not make different choices, try to create schedule, try to create routine, what do you think about that statement? There's just not enough time in the day.

SPEAKER_04

It's not true. You know, I I feel like unless you are unless you are like a nurse, like night nurses, I hear like a like their shifts are really interesting. But if you you just have to make a choice. Rather, you if you if you want it, you want it. If you don't, you don't. And there's too many. Options, especially today. You know, you don't have to go into the gym today. There's there's YouTube, you got your phone right there. I had a nice little app I was using. Yeah. And especially like going back to the pandemic, we were making no way out of nowhere. I saw people put like grabbing my driveway. Yeah, and grabbing, grabbing jug. They just was holding their babies and spotting. Because it was a priority for them. Absolutely. So while I understand that maybe like, because like for me, I'm in the gym like an hour 45, right? Because I'm doing an hour of training, 45 minutes of cardio, that's six days a week. That's not realistic for a lot of people, right? That but that's a part of my lifestyle, right? But an hour, 45 minutes to an hour, 30 minutes. Yeah. 30 minutes. Yeah. You have that. Yeah. You have that.

SPEAKER_05

I agree though. I always tell people like you have to choose your hard. Like you always like something's gonna be hard. What is it? Like, you know, I'm I'll use an example, like the woman that complains about being overweight and not liking how they look and it's affecting yourself and doing it. That's hard. That's hard. That's your heart. You don't like, you don't feel confident in yourself and it's affecting your mood. Pick another heart. Then your let your heart be 5 a.m. till it becomes more comfortable, you know. Like you just have to choose your hard. And once you get in your routine, like I I'm also a 5 a.m. gym curly. And I know that for me, I need to do the gym before I start my day because there's so many things that can distract me from it. And it now has set the tone and it's become like medicine to me. Absolutely. If I don't do it, I feel weird that I didn't go. Do you feel guilt? I don't feel guilt per se. I do. But I just I don't feel like I'm myself. You know, like I feel like, oh, something's like I didn't eat today. Like that's how it just feels like I could go a couple days, like where it's like, okay, not that bad. But like I took a week off and I'm like, okay, Tuesday, we back in there. Even if it's 20 minutes, even if I'm like, I'm gonna go in there, put a little work in, let me get a little soreness for the week, feel like I did something. But it's just part of who I am now. I feel we're not doing it to some consistent life. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04

And you know, because look, I'm two doors from 40, okay? So it's hard, it seems to be harder to keep to keep the anything, girl. Anything just like the baby, I I am fighting for my life. I'm fighting for my look. I look in the mirror and I'm like, tiny, tiny is my mom. I'm like, tiny is it? I'm just trying to peek through.

SPEAKER_03

I'm just trying to peek through. And I think when you have routines too, it it's hard not to feel guilty when you are off track, even if it's just for a day. Like for me, you mentioned like, oh, if I don't go to the gym, I feel guilty. Now, I feel guilty if it was a choice, but if it was just a scheduling conflict, I don't feel as guilty, but then I double down on something else. That means I'm gonna stick to my macros today. That means I'm gonna stick to whatever else in my traditional day because that one little thing kind of does throw you off. It does. Yeah, it does. And it starts a snowball effect.

SPEAKER_04

It's like the moment that you start allowing for the shift to happen, it's like, you know, it's it's one, it's one drink. And then it's like, oh well, you know. I I did now it's now it's two drinks. You know what I mean? I know that very well.

SPEAKER_03

Listen. But that's like treat yourself culture. Like, how do you feel about the oh, like I deserve it? I'm gonna treat myself versus like discipline.

SPEAKER_04

Because treat yourself could definitely be like a different treatment now. So here's the thing with that. If you are, if you are 30, 40, 50 pounds overweight, don't talk to me about no treating yourself.

SPEAKER_05

You done, you done did all the treats.

SPEAKER_04

Stop treating yourself. You done had all the treats. Okay, then that's why we're here. Yes. So, you know, do your work, get your work done, and then and then once you've built the momentum and you've and you've you know you've seen the change. Exactly, right? And now you can because you've built you you have uh a health bank that you can pull from. Right. Going back to um what you were saying earlier of just like feeling guilty, you won't feel as guilty because you've you've done the work. But you know, back in the day it was a it went from um a cheat day. They used to talk, they used to say a cheat day. Oh, have a cheat day. Well, honey, that's three, four thousand calories. Like you made up for the colour. You know, and now you messed up everything, you know what I mean? So I am I'm very much so like until I am I'm I'm very close to looking how I want to look, there is there is no no snacks.

SPEAKER_03

A hundred percent. I'm there right now. I stopped drinking um for 39 days.

SPEAKER_04

And that's difficult for you for my beginning.

SPEAKER_03

I stopped drinking for 39 days. Um, once I got committed and back with my trainer, I was like, listen, I need to see every bit, every dollar, yeah, every pound, every piece of sweat. And uh and you look good.

SPEAKER_06

And thank you. You look good.

SPEAKER_03

And and while I've always taken care of myself, though, you you hit it earlier. It was how I was feeling because of what I was consuming, the inflammation from the foods that you love, even if you're not eating terrible, when you pull everything out, and then the things that aren't even so bad, you realize, oh, my body actually doesn't respond well to this. Even though this might not even be a bad uh uh uh snack or a bad meal or a bad whatever, you realize once you pull everything out, and you try that thing, and you like, oh your body be like, I don't feel good. This don't make me feel good, but when you're so inflamed, everything feels like whatever. So it's just like, oh, this is just the way I be feeling every day. Exactly.

SPEAKER_04

Totally not true. But don't you notice how when you if you do introduce it back, it really feels like poison. It does. It it does something to you. Like even when I like when I was um, you know going on my my downward spiral child last year, right? I just I was I was seeing I I could there comes a point where you're so self-aware, right? And so I could I could tell that I was reintroducing like poor foods back into my diet and trying to trying to stop it, but you know, um certain foods are it's like a coping mechanism, you know what I mean? Like some people some people have their vices, you know, they drink. Um, you know, rest in peace in my grandmother, but she she was a sh a shopper, she was like addicted to shopping, you know. Some people are addicted to certain certain uh substances, right? Um but then there's food and people don't really look at food like an addiction, but it very much is. And and that has always been my been my plight. It's been when when things are really uh going awry, because I don't um reach out, you know, to to people and say, like, you know, can you can you help me? My way of of soothing was food.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I'm gonna talk to these cookies, bitch. I'm gonna do it. Exactly. Right, right. And but then the cycle is like, so I'm sitting out. These preservatives out here, the FDA don't care. They do not know. They do not care about it. They do not and in fact, not only do I'm sorry, not only do they not not care, but it's by design. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03

We want to keep you sick so we couldn't that health care systems are that causes addiction. They're adding the chemicals that the oxytocin that get you excited, um, that make you overindulge and that make you go back again even after overindulging. So um I love that you use it as I take a drink. Excuse me.

SPEAKER_01

Hey, you know, pick your poison.

SPEAKER_03

That's the treat. That's the treat.

SPEAKER_04

Bain's full and so. It truly is. Um within reason, you know, you can have that.

SPEAKER_03

Do you think people have routines or just moments of motivation, especially online? Especially online. Is it truly routine or is it just a moment of motivation?

SPEAKER_04

I think it I think a lot of it is motivation. I think that what social media has done is it it's made everything cool, right? But we're doing things for for the purpose of showing. Like working out is popular. Working out is is like it shows that you have, you know, it shows that you that that you have structure when you really don't, you know what I mean? So it's like it's like the how they say, like, you know, um, women or men, you know, they'll sprit some water on them and then they'll go take a selfie. You know what I mean? Right, right.

SPEAKER_03

Bitch, I can't even breathe in the gym.

SPEAKER_05

I'm over here sweating, baby. I'm not gonna be.

SPEAKER_03

You're too busy complaining because some trainer out, let alone whip out a phone, bitch.

SPEAKER_04

Please. But that's been my been been my plight as someone that um that uses social media to to show workouts, you know, it's about what goes viral, right? Yeah. On social media. But what changes the body in the gym is the most boring, most mundane, the most ugly face, same thing every day. That's what like I do the same for workouts, you know, for for for back, for glutes, for for quads, for arms. Like it's always the same thing. The only thing that I'm changing is is the weight and then what I'm eating at home. But, you know, so yeah, it it definitely is like a vanity magic.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. Because you have to hate that. I feel like um you have to maintain the discipline no matter the motivation. Because there's some days you wake up, I am not motivated, but I'm gonna get up anyway. Because I'm gonna keep doing it until my motivation comes back. Because it might be the time of the month, it might be a bad day, it might be I am just tired, but I know I have to get in there and remain disciplined past some of that motivation because sometimes the motivation ain't gonna be there.

SPEAKER_04

Well, I'm I'm I'm really ever I'm rarely ever motivated. No. I am not I'm not motivated to work out. I don't, I mean, I don't, I don't, I don't wanna go in and be sore. Like I'm not motivated to do that.

SPEAKER_05

I don't know.

SPEAKER_04

I feel like it's working. Yeah, but what I'm saying is still again. But you can't sit down and be like, ugh, it's going again. It's it is just a part of my life, you know what I mean? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Oh man. That's a real thing. How do you how do you balance, you know, um the maintenance versus the recovery, especially in the gym? Like, how do you balance wellness? Is it you understanding the phases because you have been in the space for so many years? Um, but for people who are new into the space, because even for me, you know, I grew up an athlete. I've always pretty much stayed fit, except for that one time I got fed. Um, I was depressed, it was COVID. Yeah. But why you bring up bullshit?

SPEAKER_01

Right, right. Why you bring up bullshit? But not today.

SPEAKER_03

Uh the maintenance versus the recovery, I feel like it's such a challenge for me in my mind, because I am a person that gets motivated by results. I'm very results driven. So even if I'm not feeling exactly disciplined, which is, you know, most people are like, no, I'm disciplined, I'm on routine, but I really don't feel like doing this, but I'm gonna do it. Yeah. I'm one of them person that's like, bitch, I'm starting to see a little trap.

SPEAKER_00

Let me get my ass up.

SPEAKER_03

But then trying to balance recovery because you get addicted to good results too. So what advice would you have for someone who's, you know, trying to figure out that space of, you know, hey, you can be on routine and you can be in maintenance, but you still gotta recover. You still gotta take care of yourself.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I mean, I think you just honestly, you just have to know that it's all a it's all a part of it, right? Like for me right now, um, well, I mean, hell, I've I I gained about 40 pounds within the last year. You look good. Thank you always. Well, we know where it go, girl. Go crazy. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02

Let me borrow some. I gotta see it from her.

SPEAKER_04

I was like literally just saying, I was like, Lord, I wish I had some height on me because I look like a little teapot girl through snow. All right. Oh my God. I was about like five, seven, you can't tell me nothing. But but it is just the process, you know. I've had to go through this a couple of times. It's probably my third time losing a significant amount of weight, right? And but you just have to know, like, it didn't take me uh three months to gain 40 pounds. It took about the course of a year, you know. So it's gonna take about that, maybe a little bit less, but it's gonna take about that time. But you do use those metrics of like, okay, wait a minute now. Okay, I'm so so so now, because these jeans, I was like, girl, you've got any outfits. Look, y'all, I was looking at these jeans today and I was like, yo, big and just keep on jeans. Let's see. Then I showed you. I'm like, okay, so that's a motivator for me. So I'm like, okay, let me keep going. Um, in terms of recovery, like, I do think that there's an element of it where you just have to know, like, there's some part of you is always gonna be sore. That's that just is what it is, especially if you're pushing yourself the right way. Um, but just have your have your rituals, like once you're once you're done. Um, I I see that a lot of people like to um like use Epsom saw once they're done, like take a nice hot bath, you know, uh things like that just to just to keep you on track. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I like that. I ain't got no bath. I only got a stand-up. That's probably why I'd be hurting even more. I need to take more baths. I love a bath. Like, I cannot wait to have like this. I want this like the 1950s. I always forget the name of it. The soak tub. Yes, the soaking tub. Oh my gosh, I I love the curled up feet on the on the legs on it. Ugh, what a separate shower, but the shower has a bench in it.

SPEAKER_04

Like, uh. I don't take a bath because I ain't got no man, girl. We want to have a little bath like a baby.

SPEAKER_01

You can go in there to bathe.

SPEAKER_03

You want something crazy. I'm gonna get that song. I don't think I'm supposed to bathe alone. I'm gonna just get in the shower. Somebody supposed to be in here with me scratching my bag. Watch the bag or something.

SPEAKER_02

That sponge will get lost. I don't know what you're talking about. Okay. What happened to the soap? What sponge? I dropped it.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_05

It's beneath the bubble. That's it.

SPEAKER_03

Oh no. Oh my gosh. Um, do you have a baseline or do you feel like you're always reacting? What do you mean? Just in general, do you feel like, you know, there is a moment where you're like, I am copasthetic of my goal.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, my physical. Like, this is my neutral. Or are you always trying to fight for like we're gonna pass this? Yeah, like I'm good right here.

SPEAKER_04

No, I'm never satisfied. Yeah. And that has been that has been a challenge for me. I have um, I am, I'm glad that was a good question because like there is this part of it, right? Because um, like I could tell you how to lose weight, no problem. I could tell you what to what to eat, um, the impact that you're supposed to be having. And I'm I'm used to doing that. I'm used to the constant. You know the formula. But but where where I have struggled is that, okay, when I'm when I get to the point, how do I, how do I coast off that ramp and keep it there? That has been, if I'm being, if I'm being transparent, that has been my challenge. Because my mind is so used to to the intensity of it, I don't know anything else. And so now I'm like, I said, okay, well, this next time, once I because I am gonna get the weight off, I don't have a problem with that, but this next time my my my work is in maintaining it. Um and yeah, just just keeping the consistency of of the maintenance portion of it because that is like a big part of the journey. Yeah. What's the point of doing all of this if you if you're just gonna, you know, psychologically, you know, psych yourself out and start all over. Sabotage, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

It is definitely self-sabotage. And I feel like, you know, we think we're in maintenance, but then like you said earlier, that one thing turns into two things. Yeah, that two things turns into three things. Oh, I got a little more in my bank. I can afford to do just one more. And before you know it, you are over maintenance in general, whether it be in your calories, whether it be in how much you're taking on, whether it be on how much you're stepping back. I think that, you know, it's important to give ourselves grace. But as we are in the maintenance space, I think having a ritual always brings us back to the why. Yeah, it centers us again. Yeah, yeah. I want to play a game. Ooh, I like games. Yeah, yeah. Because you hit a lot of stuff that we have fun with. So I'm just curious. We're gonna throw some real life scenarios at you. Okay, okay. And you're gonna answer these quickly. Oh, quickly. Okay, it's like a if it's a yes, it's a yes, if it's a no, quick explanation. I hell no. Yes. All right, let's start with scenario one. You only reset when you're overwhelmed, normal or a problem. You only reset when you're overwhelmed.

SPEAKER_04

That's a problem.

unknown

Why?

SPEAKER_04

Because you have to, as you were saying, you have to get to a baseline of like of just where you where you are um in a steady fashion. If you have to constantly start over, that is a problem.

SPEAKER_03

I like that, bitch. Because why are you starting over again for the umpteen time? And I'm talking to myself. I'm looking at myself like, damn, um Norbit?

SPEAKER_05

Not Norbit. Don't do the Norbit again. Okay, scenario two. You have routines, but don't follow them consistently. Effective or performative?

SPEAKER_04

Performative.

SPEAKER_05

For sure. There's a lot of that going on.

SPEAKER_04

It's a lot, it's a lot of that. A lot of that. It's a lot of that. A lot of that.

SPEAKER_03

You prioritize work over sleep regularly. Oh, and you're an entrepreneur, so I'm I'm curious.

SPEAKER_05

Necessary or damaging?

SPEAKER_04

Ooh Necessarily damaged. Girl. That entrepreneur life, it'd be sometimes yeah. It's and you know what? I I'll say this really quickly. Like for me, I can I like I can I can shut down, but my mind won't. So I'm I'm laying I'm laying there and I'm just thinking about like what's next. The next thing you know, four o'clock in the morning, you gotta wake up in the album. I'll be doing that too.

SPEAKER_03

It's terrible. Um, you take time for yourself, but feel guilty, healthy or misaligned.

SPEAKER_04

Misaligned. But I do understand that, you know, because if we are, you know, especially as as women, we we're kind of uh, I don't want to say trained, but in a way we are to to do for others. And so when it's time to do for ourselves, there is that guilt of, you know, feeling selfish that we've that we've done that, but we have to get out of that.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. And I feel like we have to always ask ourselves what actually keeps me stable. And for me, it is time alone. Um, I think because I am such an extrovert and then I'm professionally in an extroverted environment. Absolutely. People think that I'm always on, but being the true Libra that I am, I'm very balanced. And it's just as much as I pour in and put out because I always want to add value to a space. I gotta be at home shutting the fuck up and alone for like days at a time so that I could scrummage up enough. For you, yeah. And I always say, listen, what's in my cup is for me and what flows over is for everybody else. Because my 50% feels like someone else is 150. So I know I can show up and do the thing, but that's it's not about powering through, it's about staying true to myself. Even if nothing's wrong and I'm at 99%. Well, guess what? I'm not at 100, so I don't want to go. So when I'm at 150, I keep my 100 and y'all get the 50. Okay. There you go.

SPEAKER_04

I love that. Absolutely. I need you, you know, and you really are an extrovert. I'm an introvert. Me too. I am. When they people see me outside, they'd be like, Jazz, I'm like a psychiatrist. Is that you outside?

SPEAKER_03

All the time, you can't even see. Am I outside? I thought you're not even there.

SPEAKER_02

I thought I was there.

SPEAKER_03

Jazz, I would love to hear a closing reflection from you. I think you have dropped so many gems and you've given so much fruitful value to just routine and wellness. What is something you would love to leave the people with? My goodness.

SPEAKER_04

May your yeses be yes and your no's be no's. Have a have a clear cutoff switch for what's best for you. Um, I would say in in that season that I or the season that I'm coming out of, as you said, I've really had to take care of myself in a way that has felt selfish, but it was necessary for me. So I would I would say sometimes be in that selfish season. There you go. And you know, just to bring it all back around, that is a part of your rituals. Yeah. Sometimes that ritual is you being so self-care is not a luxury, it's necessary.

SPEAKER_05

It is like it is regular upkeep inside and out. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03

Inside and out, Jazz, thank you so much.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you, guys. I love it. I'm like when you're gonna come back. Make you a regular room. We're gonna have to stay on this journey with you.

SPEAKER_04

I love this was phenomenal. And again, I'm so proud of you. So so proud of you women, and um, keep up the amazing work. Thank you. Thank you. We receive it, honey. Yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_03

We're closing out season two. We are closing out season two. Should we take a should we? We definitely are, but before we Oh, oh, look at me.

SPEAKER_04

I'm ready to drink. Okay. Should we drink?

SPEAKER_03

We will. So thank you guys so much for tuning in to season two of the Don't Piss Me Off podcast. Remember, if your life only works when you feel good, it is not built well. So stop pissing your damn self off, child. Get you a ritual that works for you.

SPEAKER_05

It may be the end of season two, but this journey is not over. So continue to follow us. We are on Instagram, Spotify, YouTube, Amazon. You name it, you could find it, you could hear it, and we have more for you. So until you see us next time, don't piss me off. Cheers, ladies. Cheers. So fun. As you love it.