Black and Victorious Podcast

EP07: The Shopping Cart Test, Side Quests & Loyalty vs. Love

• Black and Victorious • Season 1 • Episode 7

Share episode

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 1:29:20

Vic just landed a new gig as a spin instructor at Crunch Fitness, and the fellas kick things off debating whether you should rock cycling shorts to teach class. From there, they dive into the ultimate 2-hour first date challenge — escape room, therapy session, or the grocery store shopping cart test? The conversation flows into J. Cole’s side quest of signing with a Chinese basketball league, dream careers (pastry chef and drummer make the list), and a hilarious acting challenge with the line “The Apples Have Gone Bad.”

They also react to an emotional ring camera video of kids asking their neighborhood pastor for prayer, share their wildest algorithm confessions, and have a real conversation about men, women, and the importance of curiosity over authority. The episode wraps with two hot debate topics: loyalty vs. love, and whether submission is real if you only submit when you agree.

Book Recommendation: Black Wasteland by S.A. Cosby

New episodes drop weekly. Follow us everywhere and join the conversation!

#BlackAndVictorious #Podcast #BlackMenPodcast #ShoppingCartTest #LoyaltyVsLove #Submission #JCole #SideQuest #SpinInstructor #DreamCareer #PastryChef #ActingChallenge #Prayer #Faith #Algorithm #WorkLifeBalance #BlackExcellence #Relationships

FOLLOW BLACK & VICTORIOUS:

 

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/blackandvictorious/

https://www.instagram.com/mralfredduncan/

https://www.instagram.com/brovictorious/

 

TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@blackandvictorious

https://www.tiktok.com/@mralfredduncan

https://www.tiktok.com/@brovictorious7

 

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/alfredblackduncan/

https://www.facebook.com/brothervictorious/

 

Apple Podcasts:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/black-and-victorious-podcast/id1872419161

 

Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/show/1uzakCyAinWRPkXgRlS0l0

The Show

Instagram: https://instagram.com/blackandvictorious

Hosts:
Alfred Duncan: https://instagram.com/MrAlfredDuncan

Victorious Hall: https://instagram.com/BroVictorious

SPEAKER_00

Welcome to the Black and Victorious podcast. I'm Black.

SPEAKER_01

And I'm Victorious.

SPEAKER_00

And I'm also Victorious. I'm also black. What's up? What's up with you, dog?

SPEAKER_01

What up, man?

SPEAKER_00

My man, hey, if y'all don't know, my man is the new uh the new cyclist trainer for for crunch fitness. Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Out there pushing pedals.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. Spin instructor. Yeah, yeah. Spin instructor. Yeah, I've always wanted to do it, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

That's wild, huh? Like, I've never known someone that's always wanted to be like a spin instructor.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I don't know, always.

SPEAKER_00

You said I always didn't.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I use the word always, but the way you said it, it's something. It's all you always you make it.

SPEAKER_00

I just said it the way that you said it. You said I always wanted to be there. Like since you was since I was a little kid. Since I was a little kid. I've always dreamed of you know running a a cycling class.

SPEAKER_01

And that's not that's not what I'm trying, that's not what I was trying to convey. Okay. That I I'm conveying that I was excited about the opportunity to become a spinning structure for uh my number of years.

SPEAKER_00

Well, I went to your first class. You did. I did, and you yeah, you're you're you're good, yeah. Appreciate that, yeah. You're gonna do your thing, yeah. Thank you, dog. It's gonna be packed and yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

What was it? What did you enjoy?

SPEAKER_00

Um I just enjoyed how like you are making the environment more so about uh it being their ride versus them trying to keep up with you. You know, you're still but you're still pushing them at the same time, yeah. Which is uh I think good for a space like that because it's certain people that may be a little nervous about cycling. When you tell somebody about it, they're like, uh, you know, I haven't cycled in years, and you know, it's intimidation there, but you approach it like, hey, this is your ride. I think your motto is this is your ride. I'm just your ride, I'm your guy. I'm just your guy. Why you say it like it?

SPEAKER_01

That's my job. That's my cool, yeah. That's my spinning structure jump, man. I'm saying, I'm your guy. Yeah, that's my job. Billy D. Williams, man. I'm Billy D. B I on the uh on the Sphinx, on the Spin class. Tight. No, I'm excited, man. It's it's definitely it's definitely uh, you know, it's it's it's tight to do something new. Yeah. You know, I think as we get older and older, you get you just get stuck in routines, your ways. Yeah, so it's cool to just try something new, bring out a new drink, uh a new part of you. Yeah, so no, I'm excited about it, man. I'm real excited about it. I'm excited.

SPEAKER_00

I'm I am extremely excited for you, though. I appreciate it, man. Yeah, yeah. Uh so next time, you know I'm saying, you're gonna you're gonna like do you suggest people to wear their cycling? Like, if if you're a cycler, should you wear your cycle outfit and gym?

SPEAKER_01

That's a good question. So I was thinking, like, do I wear my bike shorts? You know, like I mean, or is that too much? I think it's a bit obsessive. I you know, I thought, but you know, it's the no, no, no.

SPEAKER_00

This is what it is. Okay, this is what it is, all right. If you this is crazy, this is what I'm talking about. Yeah, if you weren't in the gym, you would not be contemplating wearing your bikes to to facilitate. But because you're in the gym, and because you feel like your body is in such a good shape right now, yeah, now you like, oh, I wonder where my wrestling is too.

SPEAKER_01

See what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_00

I know that that's what it is.

SPEAKER_01

No, it's not what it is.

SPEAKER_00

You would not be considering this if you didn't think that you you could pull it off per se.

SPEAKER_01

It's ridiculous. I'm not trying to wear the whole cycling uniform. I'm taking, I'm talking about like the bicycle shorts. You know, they got patent in them. Yeah. So bicycle shorts with a regular shirt. With like a shirt, not like a cycling shirt, but with a regular shirt with the bicycling pants.

SPEAKER_00

But you want not the bib, not the whole, the whole.

SPEAKER_01

Well, if I wore the bib, like the little junk, I would have to still shirt over top on top of it. But it's just, you know, you got on bicycle shorts.

SPEAKER_00

Oh no, I think you should wear, I think you should wear your shorts.

SPEAKER_01

Alright, so look, yeah, I could tell you.

SPEAKER_00

But I think you can wear your shorts and put shorts over top of them.

SPEAKER_01

So, listen, I when you know when I ride my fixed gear, yeah. You know, fixed gear is like a you have like a um, for those who don't, you know, don't know what a fixed gear is, it's it's the bicycles with just one gear, and it's like a lot of like bike commuters and stuff ride them drinks. So I have one. I got a fixed gear. Yeah, but I had these cut-off shorts, jean shorts, that I wear when I'm rocking on my fixed gear. So I the last time I did the drink, I asked my wife, I was like, Y'all, can I wear like my biker shorts?

SPEAKER_00

Whoa, whoa, whoa, taboo, taboo. You had the nerve to ask your wife, can you wear your denim, your denim shorts to instruct the cycling class? This is this is getting out of hand, Vic. Like, come on, yo. Black, black that you know that that's not cool, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Black, black, young, you right, young. You're right. Why made you think of it? I did, young, because I had on my I had on my, I was, I was riding my bike around my neighborhood the other day, and I had them on. And I was like, oh man, like these junk job, like casual, you know what I'm saying? What they say. My wife is like, nah, dog, don't do that to yourself. You lunching up. Yeah, but I I mean, I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it, but I don't, but I also don't feel comfortable going into the cycling junk with just cycling pants.

SPEAKER_00

I suggest that you wear your cycling pants and you put shorts over top of that. Because the padding is probably necessary. Or it's probably not necessary because you know, you used to it by now, but yeah, you know, it'll still help.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So yeah, I I um yeah, I and you can show, and you can show because everybody become like a lot of times people be like, my when we talk to them about cycling, they be like my butt, you know, it'd be hurting my butt. Yeah, and so you know, you can you uh you can wear the shorts, you can wear the shorts just to show them, you know what I'm saying? Like when they say it hurt my butt, you can be like nah, and then show them the pad, they'd be like, nah, he got a see, see, I knew it.

SPEAKER_01

I knew it, yeah. I knew once you started up, yeah, you was kick starting. Don't say that to me, yeah. Okay, don't come on, yeah. You always do that, yeah. You always take it to another level, yeah. Uh you know what I'm saying, yeah. It's crazy, yeah. Well, um how how your week been, bro? I know you, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_00

Um, no, I don't think nothing, you know. My my week been just busy. You know what I'm saying? It's just been a busy week, you know, when you're trying to just find time just for yourself, yeah. Just find time. Oh, so it's a it's complicated finds finding time for yourself, but then it's also complicated finding time to get all of the things that you gotta get done.

SPEAKER_01

So when you talk about finding time for yourself, yeah, what do that look like? Like, how do you know you have your like what what is what is good time for yourself?

SPEAKER_00

Hmm. Good time for myself, ooh, that's good. Um I don't think that I use it right, but I would say like reading would be a good time to myself. Um cooking something, you know, just exploring um some kind of cooking because I want to really get into cooking. Like doing something just for me. So something that I enjoy.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's what so reading and cooking is your thing.

SPEAKER_00

Cooking is not my thing. I want it to be my thing. Reading is cool, I enjoy reading. Um, the gym, you know, I would say that, but you find you make time for that. Right. Right, but I sacrifice too. In order to make time for that, I get up at wee hours in the morning to, you know, get that time in. But during the day, I don't have that wiggle room.

SPEAKER_01

Do you feel like the the work that you do every single day or day in and day out? Do you feel like you are reaping the benefits individually from it?

SPEAKER_00

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_01

So you know, like, as a man, like we work to serve others. We work to serve our families, we work to make sure that everything is. Do you feel like the work that you do is that you have put yourself? Like, does it serve you?

SPEAKER_00

Yes. I think the roofing, the roofing business serves me because of how I approach it, not because of what it is.

SPEAKER_01

Uh that wasn't the question I was asking, but it's okay.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, but but help me then.

SPEAKER_01

I was I'm also asking, like, when you just talked about like cooking and reading your book, do you feel like you are able to bring and I might have asked the question wrong, so I'm not, you know what I'm saying? That's probably you. Uh uh, do you feel like the work that you put in is do you feel like you put an you have enough time for yourself in comparison to the work that you do every single day?

SPEAKER_00

No.

SPEAKER_01

You don't.

SPEAKER_00

No. I definitely don't have uh enough time to myself compared to the work that I do.

SPEAKER_01

And you think about like in the totality of your adult life, has it always been that way?

SPEAKER_00

No, yeah, no, it hasn't always been that way. Um I mean, because I'm I've I've spent a a good majority of my time as an artist too. And like even traveling when I went on tour, it was you had I had too much time to myself. You know what I'm saying? It was like I know what to do, you know. It was you then you start doing things that you don't need to be doing, you know, just because you just got way too much time and you don't have any, you don't have access to the things that you enjoy doing. Um so yeah, it hasn't always been like that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and that's I asked that question because that's always like a piece for me, like it with with like I one of the things that I start to think about, especially now having my own business, is that like I think about how much like how much should you be working and how much should you be enjoying the work that that you're putting in for yourself. And I feel like sometimes it's this idea of like overwork or just work, work, work, work, work because it's this I like that's what I supposed to do. So yeah, yeah, I think uh, you know, one of the things that I I think I struggle with is this idea of how much you're supposed to work and then how much you're supposed to enjoy the work that you're actually putting in. And I think as a man, I think that's one of the things that consistently come up for me is how much should I enjoy, and then how much should I be working and putting in. And I you know, do you is that do you think about that? And how do you like find the balance or if it is even a thing that you even think about?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I mean, I don't I I don't I don't think about it because I haven't been one of those people who have worked a job forever, you know, and or had a business forever. Like I've reinvented myself so many times that life seems to be different at many stages of my life, you know. Um but I think that I am thinking about it now. Yeah, okay. I wasn't I don't think that I've ever been this busy. Okay. Like this is like my life now, it's a lot. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? And it's not just me, it's also my wife. You know, so it's trying to keep things right in in the home. Yeah. You know, trying to make sure now I have active kids in the house. Yeah. I have a five-year-old who wants to do all of these things. I have a teenager who is doing all of these things in high school, clubs, sports, like all of these different things. I have a wife who's on the radio who you know has events at any given day of the week. You know, then I have me with you know, trying to get to the gym in the morning and got Mambo Sauce and got this roofing company and got uh uh this podcast with my man, you know, and so it's just so it's just so much to to to juggle. Yeah it's kind of hard to find. And then I'm so like creative, like I got so many ideas like within those things. Like it's so much that I want to do with the podcast, it's so much that I want to do with roofing, it's so much I want to do with like all of this stuff that it it actually frustrates me that I can't do do it all.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, hey, it sounds like you just need a little therapy session a little bit.

SPEAKER_00

Well, I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, hey, about to explode a little bit, dog. I mean, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, I wouldn't say that. It's not, it's not nah, I understand. Yeah, it's not something that I'm like, ah, goddammit.

SPEAKER_01

That's that's not how I'm nah, but that's a but I think what you pull up is a real piece around when you are when you're in the thick of it and you're grinding and you're trying to like get to a particular place, or you're just using your God-given talent. Yeah, I think part of it is like trying to figure out, I know that's a real thing for me and a lot of men, is you trying to figure out what part is work, what part is my gift. Yeah, you know, how do I enjoy this while I'm doing it? Yeah, how do I not get super frustrated and enjoy the process while it's going on? How do I not look like bad, you know, think of myself in a bad way that I might not necessarily be advancing in the way that I want to, the way my like God is telling me to advance. So it's a lot that comes.

SPEAKER_00

But see, the beautiful thing, I think the beautiful thing about where we both are right now is that the the gift is the work, and the work is the gift.

SPEAKER_01

Like is it like a button we can press? That you just this man will start speaking of metaphors.

SPEAKER_00

Where's the button, dog?

SPEAKER_01

What did you just say, huh?

SPEAKER_00

The gift is the work, and the work is the gift. Like, right now, champ, you you're working in your gift. You know what I'm saying? And your gift is your work. I'm talking about you in particular. Nah, talk about you. Nah, I'm talking about you, though. Nah, I want you to talk about you. Okay, I'll talk about me after I talk about you. Like, don't take over my point.

SPEAKER_01

All I'm saying is don't use one of the uh 12 disciples uh uh metaphors and then put it on.

SPEAKER_00

That's that's a that's a that's like a real like thing. Like you think I got that from somebody? No, man. I was being facetious. Oh, yeah, they work. But uh what I mean for me, like you know, when I think about like even the roofing thing, I'm not I'm not gifted at roofing. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm not gifted at climbing on people's roofs. That's not my gift. How much you want bet? That's not my gift, bruh. I'm I'm not climbing no ladders. Yeah, you just scared. Exactly. Yeah, but that's not a gift not to be scared.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, why isn't it?

SPEAKER_00

It's not, but I'll tell you what the gift is. The gift is being able to communicate to these homeowners, being able to express like how I can help them and to really understand the game enough to fight insurance. That's what the gift is. It's not climbing on the joint, it's a gift and a skill. Whatever. Well, skill, I take the skill. Yeah, I know you are. You just scared. You just scared of the game.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, we we just well, I'm not scared of heights. I'm not I'm I'm a beast on roller coaster, I'm not scared of heights.

SPEAKER_00

What makes you a beast on roller coaster?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I could go in there and arms up the whole rat. I mean, the whole rat since I was a kid. Arms up. Uh, you can nothing, dog. I can I don't care what roller coaster it is. I'm like this the whole time. Arms up. Can you? Yes. You welling. No, I'm not. I had to get to this. Yeah, not me.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

This is what it is. I'm just out here.

SPEAKER_00

But I mean, I can climb roofs.

SPEAKER_01

We just acknowledge that. I am not. Don't try to. I'm just saying, you just tried to knock me because I told you I'll do lattice. And then I said you skipped it. The only lattice I do is these jumps, the jumps that they got the little two sides. Yeah, yeah. The jumps, you put it up on the on the little gutter. Yeah. And then you go, yeah, whatever. I don't trust that technology. Nobody. I can't do the lattice, dog. Uh uh. I feel you. Hey, I was thinking the other day about, you know, how many years you've been married?

SPEAKER_00

I it'll be 10 this year. Oh man, congratulations. 10 years. Decade.

SPEAKER_01

Whole decade. That's what's up, man. That's half of what you've done. Yeah, I've been in the mix for a minute. But I was thinking, right, hypothetically. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Hypothetically. I'm listening. Let's just make sure I'm gonna say hypothetically one more time. Is this for the wives? This is for everybody. Okay, okay. You know, it's hypothetically, right? All right, so look, you know, you go on dates now. I'm sure you take your wife on dates. You know what I'm saying? Like, I think that's super important. Yeah, so cool. Yeah. But you know, dates now, you've been in the game for 10 years. I've been in the game for a dub, like, you know, it's just it's just a regular, it's just you know each other, yeah, right. So you're always trying to like find out new conversations to have because you I feel like you've had every conversation, everything. You know everything about each other. But I was thinking the other day, like, if you were like dating somebody for the first time, you was getting to know somebody for the first time, where would you take them? But here's the question to find out you only got two hours. Two hours. You taking them somewhere, but you need to find out in that two hours if they are right for you. What would you do?

SPEAKER_00

The hard part is to find out if they're right for me. I don't know. Like, that's tough. Yeah. I got my answer though. I would say, so I wanna let's let's uh let's uh what is it called? Something shop. Let's workshop this.

SPEAKER_01

Alright, alright, okay.

SPEAKER_00

So I want to take her somewhere that is inexpensive. Okay. That's that's one thing. Alright. You know, um, because I want to see if it's all about the money. You know what I'm saying? Like if she's yeah, yeah, like you know, you've ever seen those lists? Those lists of the the top 100 places that girls don't want to go for their first date? Like, you know. Oh, now I've never seen that list.

SPEAKER_01

This is funny, but go ahead, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, they don't want to go like the Red Lobster, they want to go to Cheesecake Factory, uh menu ridiculous. Ridiculous, anxiety menu. I can't stand that nigga. What? Yeah, so I mean, you know, uh in this day and age, what I hear, I don't know, because of course I'm but what I hear is that a lot of women are chasing men who got bad. You know what I'm saying? And on the first date, they expect to be winding down. So I'm gonna cut that off all the time. Trimmed down exactly, yeah. No winding and down, no winding and down in the first night. All right, the first day. All right, but then also I may want to take her to somewhere adventurous to see if she's you know, really like ah, this is a good. Yeah. What do you want to find out about her? If if she's willing to explore different things, ah, yeah, that's a good one. Maybe even like an escape room. Okay, to see how she probably navigates what happens when she gets upset, frustrated.

SPEAKER_01

That's a good one. Yes, that's a good one. Um you can still blend in fun. Oh, how about this? Okay, maybe therapy. Take her to therapy, take her to a therapy session. That's wow. That's for the first thing. I I would agree, but it is what it is. Hey and that's wild though. A therapy session. Like, I'm trying to like what?

SPEAKER_00

How do you I I actually think that that's a good idea to find a therapist. I think to be yes, I think it's a good service for a therapist to have a one hour session, one hour day. First date session, and you can bring the couples in, and you can just have conversation, they can facilitate conversation that will create you know communication about what each other is and what each other desires. Okay. Uh I'm not gonna fight you on it.

SPEAKER_01

Um, why why would you fight me on it? I know I'm just saying, I think that's wild. I just I think that if if a girl came up to me and was like, yeah, our first date, we gonna go to therapy, I'll be like, oh nah, she just lunching a little bit. It ain't intentional. I mean, you intentionally dating at this big age. No, I know I'm intentionally dating, but that's too serious, too quick. Oh, for the first date. So the second third, fourth, fifth, the first date therapy session. Yeah, come on.

SPEAKER_00

All right, let's cancel that out.

SPEAKER_01

Nah, I mean that's it's on the record now. You said that's what you want to do.

SPEAKER_00

No, I said I think it'd be a good idea. Okay. Now, what so we go with something adventurous. Yeah, I like that. I like something adventurous, yeah. I like like even the um escape room.

SPEAKER_01

Because I couldn't do uh like the idea of like somebody who couldn't go outside.

SPEAKER_00

It's like you definitely can't do that.

SPEAKER_01

Oh no, yeah, you don't know you don't you don't want to go outside, you might as well, you're packed up, yeah. Cause you want to be outside, yeah. Put you in a blender, pack you up, it is not gonna work. Yeah, so I definitely it'll be somewhere outside for me. Okay. Like, you know what I mean? Because I I have to be outside.

SPEAKER_00

What do you mean by outside though?

SPEAKER_01

Like, like you can't be bothered you can't be more upset about the outside elements like bugs and and heat and like stuff like that. That can't bother you more than the beauty of being out in nature.

SPEAKER_00

I saw this movie. I can't remember the name of the movie. I can't remember. It was about a young kid, right? Young kid. Well, let me just say this part. What if you met someone? Okay. Now, mind you, this is hypothetical. We got it. Hypothetical. Let's keep saying hypothetical.

SPEAKER_01

Maybe we should put hypothetical. Let's put hypothetical on the screen. We gotta we're gonna edit that in.

SPEAKER_00

Hypothetically, if you were dating someone and they were the love of your life, like you realize that, oh my god, this is the one.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But they had uh like they had some kind of um disease where or some kind of I don't want to call it a disease. Some kind of condition where their their body, their their bones break easy, like at any given thing. Like she can sneeze and break her nose bone or sneeze and hurt her ankles. So she doesn't want to really go out or be adventurous or or do, you know what I'm saying, too much because she's scared of injuring herself.

SPEAKER_01

Like I know it's funny, but I'm just like, young, what do you be watching?

SPEAKER_00

No, this young the movie's good, yo. It's really good. I'm gonna sense it. I can't remember. All right, I can't remember. I'm gonna find the name of it, but it's it's really, really good. Cause the dude, because they gotta have they have a kid. Yeah, and the kid is he had yeah, how did they have a kid?

SPEAKER_01

They have a kid. I mean, how did how did they have a kid?

SPEAKER_00

I mean, I mean, she had a kid. She did. And the kid came with with the same, he had the same thing. Yeah, no, he he it was uh hereditary. So his bones is fragile, fragile as well. Okay, and but he was the like his spirit was amazing, dog. Yeah, yeah. I know how you love kids and you would love this kid. He would size you so much.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so it come on, man. My bad, yeah. Come on, man. Snorting. Uh the the it all depends on how long I've known the person. Cause you can be like, if it's brand new and I don't know your bones is breaking, I'm probably gonna know off the first, like, what's up? If I give you a hug, you'll be like, oh, my bones are breaking. So I'm probably gonna know then. Like, I can't, you know what I'm saying? But spirit over everything, spirit over everything, spirit over everything.

SPEAKER_00

Spirit over everything. That's my spirit of everything.

SPEAKER_01

Spirit over everything. Like, if I care about you and I enjoy being around you, then that is going to overshadow your bones breaking or your bones being fragile.

SPEAKER_00

But what happens if you like if something happens and you no longer enjoy being around them?

SPEAKER_01

Then then that's the spirit of everything. So if I don't enjoy it, then I don't enjoy it. But I think this is this is interesting. Because relationships is about service, right? Yeah. So if that's what you chose, if that's what you put your word on, and that's what you said you're gonna do, then you are a servant for that's who you're serving. And so you don't, so if your child bones are breaking, you don't, you're not just gonna be like, oh, I'm tired of this, I'm done with you now. Child, you on your own. Nah. And I think so. I think it's the same thing if you're in a relationship. Like you're in a relationship, you chose to serve.

SPEAKER_00

I feel like I feel like those are the two different things. I understand what you're saying.

SPEAKER_01

Hold on, but I think that I think that's how people see it. But your word is your word. Uh my word to to this is this is let me this is different. So you moved it from first date to relationship. I know, I know what I did. Because I ain't even answering my question yet, though. All right, we'll answer your question. Just get off. Let me get off that. Yeah, yeah. Cause I would take by on the first date, I take them to the grocery store.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, tell more.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, so I'm going to a grocery store. We're gonna shop at the grocery store. It's not really about the grocery store. We're gonna come out of the grocery store and we're gonna put the groceries in the back, in the, in the, in the uh now this is hypothetical, but hold on. Yes, everything is hypothetical. Because, and I'm really, I'm gonna see if she put the cop back. And if she doesn't put the cop back, y'all done? She not for me. Hold up, man. Hold up.

SPEAKER_00

So I understand. Hold up. I understand.

SPEAKER_01

Pack her up. Pack her up. She done. It's a wrap. She's not for the kid.

SPEAKER_00

Hold up though. Pack her up selfish. I understand. We've already talked about this. Get hot right now. I understand the fact that littering is terrible. I understand that. Yeah. We don't agree with the conservation of water at a hotel. We don't agree with that. And why are you bringing that back? But no, I'm just saying. I'm just telling I'm just saying. Go ahead. Go ahead. I like young. Are you really telling me that someone who doesn't put pack her up? That's crazy. Pack her up.

SPEAKER_01

You don't put your car back, do you?

SPEAKER_00

Sometimes I don't.

SPEAKER_01

I knew you was that type of dude. Oh! I knew it in my bones. By the way, you was just explaining it, y'all. I knew it.

SPEAKER_00

Why they make you 70% of the time, 70% of the time I put it back. 70% of the time, but then sometimes I don't. Y'all they got a dude who gets paid to come out there to get the cart. This is what I understand. Like, I don't, I don't, the, the, like I said, delivering, yes, no one is getting paid to clean up after you throw it in the trash, all of that. But I got a cart.

SPEAKER_01

Y'all sing that song, y'all. When I get bothered, I really know how it feels to be stressed out, stressed out. I mean, face with your adversity. So what just was coming up to me, y'all? So what?

SPEAKER_00

Young, so what?

SPEAKER_01

It's it got a song too.

SPEAKER_00

So in the doorway through the fourth door. Oh, girl, Papa don't hit me no. I don't, y'all, yeah, I don't, you're not, like, I don't understand that. Why you get mad? Cause cause somebody just leave the.

SPEAKER_01

I'm just letting you know. This is this is the conversation, yeah. If I take a girl on the first date, I'm getting to know her, we go to the grocery store, buy some food, we're gonna cook, or somebody, you know what I'm saying, whoop de whoop, make dinner, and we go to the joint and it's time to put the cart back. And she like, nah, we just gonna put it right here. Young, it's no communal. For me, it speaks of like, oh no, this is not, you're not thinking from the community lens. I'm not thinking about this cart rolling hit somebody's car. You're not thinking about like where people can get their carts from. You're not thinking about even this other person, that person that comes out, that person that works there, their job is to take the carts from the little middle section, put them to the front of the store.

SPEAKER_00

The job is to get the carts from the car, the job is not my job is to get carts from the have you have you worked as a as a as a as a uh one of them guys before? What are they? They're parking attendants, parking uh uh whatever. What are they? No. Grocery store. Yeah, figure it out. What's their title? Grocery school grocery store cart retrievers. That's what they are. They're grocery store cart retrievers. Have you worked as a G actually C R? Have you worked as a G C R?

SPEAKER_01

Actually, I you know I was the diversity specialist for a grocery store. Hold on. So when I would go, I would retrieve the cards from the lane that doesn't matter. That doesn't matter. We'll leave them out.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, so I mean, would you have you ever put out uh a job description for getting someone to do that?

SPEAKER_01

No.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, I mean, why do you make that face?

SPEAKER_01

How did you move the job descriptions?

SPEAKER_00

Well, because you said you say I used to be this.

SPEAKER_01

All I'm saying is, all I'm saying is you and your type are the type of people who lead their carts. So I'm sure.

SPEAKER_00

I'm so glad you have a wife because you would have missed out on the best thing.

SPEAKER_01

Pack her up.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, pack her up because that's crazy, uh, that for me is a communal mindset.

SPEAKER_01

That's crazy, huh? You know, other people might have other things like you. You say that you want to take her, how she communicates or argues, and all those different things. You're gonna take her to this.

SPEAKER_00

I think that that's way more important than the cart. I feel like that's way more important than the beach. It does the car speaks to your soul. She's a terrible person because she's no, not a terrible person.

SPEAKER_01

You're not a terrible person, you have just terrible actions, littering, you know what I'm saying? Not putting your cart back. This makes you have much, you have so many other good things to outweigh the bad, but I don't got time in my life old age to be finding out what's the good in her. I'm sure she got some good in her because we on the first date, so it must have been something that was good, but pack her up. I ain't got no time because she's probably my age, so you've been doing this for 20, 30 years at this point.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, you pack her up. You got some crazy pet peeves, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's funny, dog. Heyon, did you see uh I'm sure you listened to the uh the J. Cole um album? Yeah, I feel like you don't be listening to it like you're supposed to.

SPEAKER_00

What you mean? Listening to it like I was supposed to. How am I supposed to listen to it? Like, like how you supposed to listen to it? I listened to it when it first came out, it was on in my joint for like a week. You know what I'm saying? I go back to it like soon, but how am I supposed to be listening to it?

SPEAKER_01

I'm gonna tell you, man. You see you seem a little hype right now. Yeah, yeah, because I just don't listen to music because of the like our streaming services and the way we are like we stream music now. Okay. We don't sit with albums in the same way that we once did. So you think about when you were younger in the 70s, I would agree. When when an album would come out, like you would have a CD, you know what I'm saying? You have a CD and then you would like listen to that CD, or you would ride around with a pack of CDs in your car, agree, and you would just read listen to those. And I feel like that's how I still try to listen to music. Oh, yeah. So that's what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_00

You're you know, you're trying to hold on to the old ways.

SPEAKER_01

No, no, no. I just enjoy it. Like I enjoy, I feel like people who put they still put the same amount of work into the albums, and I feel like they, you know, when it's a good album, you should you should enjoy it in the same way that people like when you dropped something.

SPEAKER_00

I just think it's more, I just think that it's music is so accessible now that it's just so much.

SPEAKER_01

Here's the question.

SPEAKER_00

It's so many good albums, yeah. Yeah, so I saw you just And it's so many people who we don't, you know what I'm saying, even know.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I'm gonna come back to that, but that's a good question. I'm gonna come back to the J. Cole thing because you just dropped the song. Yes, Turkey Bacon Live because they be fake and lie. Twink got it in on that drink, yeah. I respect it 100%. So you just dropped that drink. Yes. Um, do you want people to just listen to it one time? No, and discard it? No, okay. All right, so the the I think, you know what I'm saying? Because you put work in. Yes. And you want people to stream it continuously. You will want me to listen to it more than once. You want me to enjoy it.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. All right. No, let me get let's get this clear. The recipe. Let's get this clear. I want you to like it enough that you want to play it over and over again. I don't want you to just play it over and over again because I released something and you know, no, I want you to really like the music so that you can keep coming back to the song. Yeah. Because that's what happens. I go back to songs all the time. You know, some songs that I listen to like almost every other day or every day. Okay. And that's because I really like the song. Yeah. So it's gospel. So a lot of it is. Yeah, I know. Gospel or slow songs or something. Yeah. The Lord. So, so yeah, but I I don't want you, I don't want your sympathy support. A sympathy listen.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, no, but that's a sympathy listen. No, yeah, that's crazy. But yes, but that's what I'm saying. That's why What are you saying? That I think the J. Cole album is that good.

SPEAKER_00

I think J. Cole's album is good too.

SPEAKER_01

And I think sometimes with new music and the way the music industry is set up, because there's so much accessibility, we don't necessarily give artists the time that we used to give them when listening to their music. That's all I'm saying. I would agree. I would agree though. Yeah, I would agree. And you agree now, so that's cool. The uh, but I was bringing up J. Cole because did you see I don't know if I sent it to you, you see the Bama sign with a Chinese basketball league? I heard about it today. Yeah. The Bama done signed with a Chinese basketball league. He is the king of side quests.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, he is. You know, this is the third time that he played professional basketball.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, man, I think that is so tight, y'all. I do too. This Bama just dropped a double album. He finna go on a world tour. He's like, hold on one second. Let me go to China real quick.

SPEAKER_00

Let me let me go. Hold on for a bit. I want to go play. I wanna go hoop for a bit.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, let me go, let me go hoop. Let me go ball out in China.

SPEAKER_00

That's that's the life that people should be living. That's the life that people should be living.

SPEAKER_01

That's why I'm excited about being a spin instructor. That's that's my biggest. Ooh, you just I'm so confused. No, it's a side quest for me. Oh, okay, okay. It's one of those things like, yo, I'm doing this. You know what I'm saying? I got a company, spent a lot of time kind of over here doing that. And I'm like, yo, this is just something, it's a passion. This is something that I just enjoy doing, and I just want to do like for no money. Like it why they pay me, but I would do it for nothing. For no money, yeah. You know what I'm saying? And I'm just like, I want to keep myself open until the day I die. Yeah. And like with side quests. With side quests. And I think when Code, I was like, and that's so tight, you know. I'm just gonna go do that. And also to have a family who supports you. Supports you in that. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's that's tight. He probably encourages it. Exactly. Yeah, your kids, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_00

You got little kids, and it's exampling in something to them that they're gonna, you know, live out as well. Yeah, I was so scissed by it, yeah. Yeah, that's dope. I I'll be honest, I didn't think about it like that. Yeah, that's what you know what's crazy is because I think my whole life has been a whole bunch of side quests. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I talked to you about that before, about like, you know what I'm saying, the beauty of being able to live in that way and still be able to support yourself. Yeah, that's tight, dog. Because it's fear, it's fear on the other side. Now, J. Cole, on the other hand, like well, it's fear basketball. I'm quite sure it's fearful. No, I'm just talking about the idea to have the financial capacity to do that. Yeah, and even for me, for to some degree, like I'm you know, by no means am I, but you know, I have the free time because of what I've kind of built to be able to do that and not necessarily be stressed about finances to some degree, you know what I mean? Yeah, um, but that was a question that I thought about another related to that, right? If it can't be anything that you're currently doing, it can't be nothing where I don't have to do the hypothetical thing here, right? Okay, it can't be anything that you're currently doing, okay. But if you had the chance tomorrow, tomorrow, to do this thing, to do this thing, bring you the most joy.

SPEAKER_00

This thing is short.

SPEAKER_01

Are you saying that this thing would bring me the most joy? Yeah, it's work, it's a job. Oh. It's a career. Oh. You don't, by tomorrow, you wake up, you have all of the skills, you have all of the gifts, you have everything that it takes to do this job successfully. What would you do?

SPEAKER_00

That's tough. That's tough. But one thing that I think would be real exciting that I think I would really enjoy is being uh uh uh actor. Young.

SPEAKER_01

Are you ready? You ready, young? This is crazy, yo. Young, I see, young, this is wow. What do you mean? Am I ready? Young, are you ready? Am I ready to be an actor? Young, this is the line. Here's the line, young. All right, the line is the apples have gone bad. Okay. All right, the apples have gone bad. Uh-huh. You have to say this line. Okay?

SPEAKER_00

I have to say the apples have gone bad.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. Okay. All right, here's the scene. Alright. Your um daughter has come home from school uh and has gotten into a fight, and they come home and they're talking to you about this fight, and you are, and they won, but they're suspended from school for 10 days, and they're coming to explain to you about this situation.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

You have to channel your emotion, what emotion you're feeling in this moment, but your line is the apples have gone bad.

SPEAKER_00

So what you're telling me is Stop, huh? You see, you can't do this. I'm sorry. I can't do this. I'm gonna be kicked off this set.

SPEAKER_01

I didn't know you were gonna sing. You'll be kicked off this set.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, I didn't know. Alright, alright. So, what you telling me is that she was picking on your little sister, right? And you took her for your little sister. You would, you would listen. I always tell you that I want you to protect your family at any given moment. At any given time, you make sure that you take care of your sister. No matter good or bad. But I'm trying to get to it. God damn it. Right. Yo, you just supposed, you doing this the apples uh the apples have gone bad. You did it wrong. What you mean? That was your only line. So the only thing I already set the scene up.

SPEAKER_01

No, you didn't you told me that you didn't say the only thing you said.

SPEAKER_00

You said you have to say this.

SPEAKER_01

No, that was the only thing you say.

SPEAKER_00

That's not, that's not no, yo. You're not, you did not explain that right. So the only thing I say is the apples have gone bad. Yes, all right, all right. So my girl.

SPEAKER_01

It was it's about a conversation about your emotion and being able to.

SPEAKER_00

Alright, come on, let's go, let's go. So, my daughter, you said my daughter got in the fight in school, she's suspended.

SPEAKER_01

She's coming home, she's hysterical. She 10 days, she won though, but she's like hype. She comes in the house, she's talking to you and telling you the story, and this is your response.

SPEAKER_00

Baby, the apples gone bad. The apples have gone bad. Listen, it is what it is, it's done what we done. You know, hey, just throw them away. We get some more apples tomorrow. The apples have gone bad.

SPEAKER_01

I um I I don't feel like you did that, you know. But I but I support your dreams. I don't I don't I support your dreams.

SPEAKER_00

How would you how would you do it?

SPEAKER_01

You give me a scene.

SPEAKER_00

Um I said this is two two bars. Okay. Two bars. Two bars. You are arguing with someone. Okay. Hypothetically, you know we have to say that. Hypothetically. Alright. You are uh arguing with a woman who you had a you you've you've in a relationship with.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. I'm again, but she's done something like extremely like disrespectful, something so hurtful to you. I don't know what it is. You channel whatever it is. But then she says that she did it because she loves you. Now, this is what I want you to say. I want you to say, are you really telling me that you love me? But look, I want you to smile through I want you to smile the whole time until you say you love me at the end. Okay? So listen, are you really telling me that you love me? I want you to smile until you get to the until you get till you get to the love me. And then I want you to switch it up. And I want you to not smile until you get to the love me.

SPEAKER_01

Young, that's so much to think about at one time.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, but let's start with the first one. Alright, hold on. Do you really are you really telling me that you love me?

SPEAKER_01

Hey Young, are you really telling me that you love me? You look like you are laughing. I did it. Yeah, you did. I did it. They could have cut it. And now my other one is. You like hysterical. You mad, bro. Young, I was just mad. Alright, go ahead. Young. You really telling me you love me?

unknown

Yeah, I did it, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

You did it, yeah. Yeah, I'm a beast, yeah. Yeah, you tried. Yeah, yeah, I'm trying that. Your setup was crazy, though.

SPEAKER_00

Nah, it was good. That's what I'm saying with you. So that's what I'm saying with you.

SPEAKER_01

With your Chris, no, that's what I'm saying with you, young, with your creativeness, young. You take something and you always want to take it up three knots. I mean, that's what we gotta do. It was like we do it three parts.

SPEAKER_00

That's what it was just two parts. It was just two parts, and that's what we do as black people, yo.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. You gotta go to acting class, yeah. Yeah. I'd be blown, young. You'll never you don't never let me answer the question, young You did just question the question. No, I didn't. What's the question? Yeah, what was the initial question? Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

The question was, yeah, so what would you what would you do if you could do it tomorrow? If you could do it tomorrow, you had all of the skills, all of the abilities, you can just wake up and this thing you were doing at such a high level. What would it be? And it's a career. What would it be? A pastry chef. A pastry chef. A pastry chef. Yeah. Yeah. I swear, I I don't know you. I don't know you pastry chef. A pastry chef?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. A pastry chef. And or a drummer. A drummer or a pastry chef. Yeah. I'ma be the most amazing drummer at making pastries. Yeah. Crazy. Yeah. I'm going to be a pastry chef or a drummer, yeah. So why a pastry chef? Because I'm making croissants. I'm making croissants. I'm making biscuits. I'm making cakes, muffins, pies, uh, everything. Because it's just like it's such a unique science. Like making pastries, bread, you know what I'm saying? All different types of breads. Like sourdough, wheat bread, rye bread. I'm making everything, dog. I'm gonna be off the hook, though. Everybody, because young, when I went to France, young, like the pastries in Paris off the hook. Bruh, bruh. It is, you know how sometimes you look at stuff on TV and it'd be like, oh, that's a stereotype. Yeah. Oh, they walking around with bread. No, it's for real. It's pastry shops everywhere, young. And they be people be walking down the street with them loaves of bread in their hands.

SPEAKER_00

Like in the in the side. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

It was my favorite part about Paris, yeah. I got a picture with me with the bread. Oh, so you bought bread. Oh, yeah, and walk with it in my hand. Like a. Why are you walking? Why why do people walk with bread? Because they put the long piece of loaf bread in a bag and then it sticks out the bag. And because everybody eats bread with their dinner. They eat the bread every day, and you get a fresh baked bread.

SPEAKER_00

But it's not like a snack, though. It's not like Nah, you can't eat it as a snack. Okay. So what did you have it as? Because you wasn't going back home cooking dinner.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, I was.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, you was?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I was I was staying with my man Kato.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, so we would go home, make dinner, eat, you know what I'm saying? And with the with the bread.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

But every morning, too, I would go to the pastry shop and get pastries.

SPEAKER_00

So was what what's up with this drama thing?

SPEAKER_01

I just always admire drama, Sean.

SPEAKER_00

But I'm just what I'm saying though. So the question was, you wake up and it's something that you want to do. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Something that you desire to do. You don't you so those are your two biggest desires in the world? Is to be a pastry chef or a drummer? Why what's wrong with that? I'm just I'm just asking.

SPEAKER_01

I just I mean, obviously, I just answer the question. I I've always admired drummer, John, because they feel like they can use all their body parts at the same time.

SPEAKER_00

What about a like a traveling uh like someone who travels the world and critiques like different resorts and stuff like that?

SPEAKER_01

Hold on, time out. Are you trying to tell me what my dream is?

SPEAKER_00

I'm not trying to tell you anything.

SPEAKER_01

I'm I I'm at I'm offering other ones. Don't young, I didn't offer you anything. I didn't offer you nothing when you said you wanted to be an actor. You could have, you could have. I just all I did was give you the opportunity to be an actor and you failed. But come on. Yeah, no, no, I would do that too. I'm playing, but I would love to do that too. I appreciate you saying that. Yeah, I would love to travel the world and I wouldn't travel the world and extend resorts. I would travel the world and interact with the people and have interviews with people from no particular places.

SPEAKER_00

Now, if you had to choose between that and the pastry chef, which one would you do? Both. That's not what I said. You had to choose between. You had to choose between because you have to wake up and you wake up and you can be this one thing. You can't be these multitude of things. I can do anything I want. No, no, not in this hypothetical, you can't. You wake up and you can do one thing. What is the one thing?

SPEAKER_01

Alright, I'm gonna travel and talk to people.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I knew it. I knew it. I feel like I could do that. BS can do it. I'm not BSing.

SPEAKER_01

I feel like I could do that now. I can do that now. You didn't put you didn't put much thought into your your your uh your answer, young. Hey young, that's like somebody asks you what's your dream car, they say and you be like, no, pick something else.

SPEAKER_00

No, it's because, but if I say pick something else, that's because I didn't heard you talk about this other car all these years. And so how you gonna speak about this car when I've seen you?

SPEAKER_01

You have to be young because you young, you are a hater, young, because part of it is it's that dog. Like, I can do, I do that already. I've done that. I've never been a pastry chef, I've never played the drums. I can travel, and I have traveled to talk to different people all across the world.

SPEAKER_00

Say that's a job, yo. Young, but I'm saying okay, okay, okay, I understand. You said the skill. I got you. Traveling, yeah, that's I got you. I got you. He's mad, y'all. He mad. Can't he? I can't even be. I know you're right, you right. Can't even dream, y'all.

SPEAKER_01

I can't even dream around you, dog. That's crazy, yo.

SPEAKER_00

No, I understand.

SPEAKER_01

Friends won't let you dream, young.

SPEAKER_00

Nah, I understand what you said, though. I understand what you said.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. All right. But you, young, you seen that video young with the kids, yeah. Mm-mm. You did. Oh, yes. Yeah, we we should yeah, because I definitely I wanted to talk about that. Yeah, play it.

SPEAKER_05

You can talk to the camera. Hi. Hello, can we can we do it faster? Yep. Yep, it's me. Hi, what y'all doing? Nothing. We just we was on the trencher. Uh we saw something. Evil, we just want to come, evil, we wanna come. I'm gonna show you the picture.

unknown

I can't see.

SPEAKER_05

Oh, something like that.

SPEAKER_04

We wanna make a play. Yeah, we just wanna make a point of the church. Okay, I'm gonna make the mama. I'm gonna come to you. You can come by tomorrow, I'm gonna be there tomorrow. If you don't want to come by and come in the summer for the coming for me now, or you wanna wait for the mama? Okay, you come by the way, come in. Right, and I'm asking that you come from from the crumb of the heavens and the souls of the father got this batch of angels to the camp all around them. Protect them from all the angels in the same. Father God, put a shield of protection around them. Let nothing come near them, father. Maybe trying to draw their attention away from you. Father God, we simply thank you. We give you all the glory, honor, and praise in Jesus' name, amen. Thank you, y'all come back tomorrow.

SPEAKER_05

Thank you, Fashion. All right, love you. Love you too, Fashion. That's dope.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I gotta be getting a little, I got a little emotional. See what I'm saying? I gotta keep myself together, yeah. You don't gotta keep yourself together. Nah, yeah, but that's that that was that's so tight on so many different fronts.

SPEAKER_00

It is, yeah. It it first of all, it is extremely um beautiful to see young men that are you know open to to to prayer, like to even understand that at this moment, you know, we need to pray. And let's go to somebody who we know, you know, knows God and can really pray for us.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. And what did do you know what it said? Nah, nah, I wasn't even. They just said they saw something evil. Yeah, they probably was riding their bikes and saw something or saw something on the thing, and they just felt like something wasn't right. Yeah. And to know, like the thing is, is that when you're a child, you know, you gotta remember like being a child, like you've had you children have these experiences consistently, and oftentimes they like keep it in. So for me, what I was thinking about is the trust that she's built with them, yeah. Because they are they are coming to her with some of their most vulnerable, like, yo, we saw some evil. Who can we go to to help us through this? Like, because they felt that evil. They was like, Yeah, I'm gonna go past her, she looked out, yeah. And she and the pastor, like, I ain't even there, young, but young, I'm gonna pray with you through the through the speaker. Yeah, and that was that was so tight. The way they locked up, yeah, the way they locked, held each other's hands. You know, I was just like, dog, like that is, and they and that is not their parents, that's the pastor. Yeah. In that in that hood, and when you think about what church or what any religious organization is supposed to do, that's that. That's it. That's that. That's it, right there. And I would that's just and on that, join it.

SPEAKER_00

And I don't even know if they like, you know, I wonder, I would love to know like what church she at or if it's like a community thing, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01

If it's yeah, yeah, that that was, you know, so um I yeah, I seem like she liked the pastor and she lives in the community.

SPEAKER_00

For sure. Not necessarily like they go to her church, yeah, for sure, but like she spends time with them outside of the church.

SPEAKER_01

Has to, has to, she has to, because you you know, the the foundation of any kind of teaching is is the relationship. And you can tell that those young ones have had a very real relationship with them, it's not artificial, it's not like and so for me the the the conversation about God is um can only really happen through the relationship, yeah. Like if you just bring God and and not you know, the way she was talking to them, like the way they were talking to her, like it's all like centered in that. And I think that was yeah, that was a beautiful clip, bro. That was that was that joint right there.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, shout out to the youngest, man. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, shout out the pastor, yeah. Shout out the past. I love to know what's her name, you know what I'm saying? Maybe we can find out, yeah. Maybe we could. Maybe that that that'll be dope. You know what I'm saying? She probably, I wonder if she posted. She had to post it. It's her ring camera. Yeah. So yeah, where did you get it from?

SPEAKER_01

Uh, just online. It just came across my feed, and I was happy it did. Because you know, your algorithm can be crazy sometimes. Crazy, huh? Algorithms be crazy.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, listen, I'm so tired of my algorithm intruding on me.

SPEAKER_01

What's the wildest thing on you that you see on your algorithm? So and I would love the people who watching this, like, what their wildest thing is, but what's the wildest thing that comes up on your algorithm? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, recently, the wildest thing is, and this is probably because of you. The wildest thing is I've been seeing pigs get like shot. Like they're killing pigs by by having a prong, like a just it's a prong, and then it has like two extensions, like two arms on it, and they put it on the pig's head like this, and then he just stiffens up. That's messed up that you're laughing at the pigs. No, I'm like it's crazy that you're doing this. I'm not laughing at like they're they're they're a soul, even though you don't like eating them. You know what I'm saying? They still are soul. I don't think that we should laugh at this.

SPEAKER_01

I'm not laughing at the pigs dying, I'm laughing at the way in which you are conveying the pigs are dying. And two, what I'm also laughing at is how this is my fault.

SPEAKER_00

Cuz, y'all, ever since you've been going on bacon, that's what's been showing up on my timeline. So, yeah, that's the wildest thing. And remember, I remember one time I sent you the uh it's this dude, it's this dude, and initially I found him funny because I thought it was one song. Like he he would make songs. Like, I got think people would send him names of their friends, and he would make songs about how gay they are. About yeah, about I sent you a video one time, and he was like, This isn't funny, you know what I'm saying? But ever since I looked at that, you know what I'm saying, a whole bunch of different stuff about you know, like, yeah, it's coming to my timeline, and I'm like, nah, I ain't clicking on that again. Okay, and what's really intruding is it's a whole bunch of big butts that just come past by, you know. So hold on.

SPEAKER_01

I was I want to talk about this, okay. You know, because I think that that's a a pretty interesting topic, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Cause you say big butts are coming on your on your yeah, because now it's not like who you follow, like they'll put stuff in your algorithm and you have to put not interested. I want the men to respond to this, okay, because I feel like uh it is overload, it is definitely overload.

SPEAKER_01

They it is something about gender that they are putting, because I don't like it. Yeah, I don't I don't never press like, but would you know what else they do though? Is they they look at the time spent watching a particular thing or how much time you so you cannot even like it, but if you just view it, it'll continue to roll.

SPEAKER_00

This is the thing. If you go to what is the the what I what's the page that has like for you, yeah. If you go to if if I'm crazy, if I put I push about for you page right now, it is definitely gonna be about how many pitches is in that one little frame? Yeah, let's say about about 15 pitches in that one little frame. Out of that 15 pitches, it's gonna be seven that has something to do with a lady with uh a big butt.

SPEAKER_01

It's ridiculous. It is, young, it's just way we I don't want it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it's young.

SPEAKER_01

What I think it is, is though it's it's also your like your community or your network. I think I think the algorithm speaks to what people in your demographic, in your where you from are liking as well. What are they liking and they'll give it to you as they'll give it to you too? Because you know what you think about? I don't never see white people on my algorithm.

SPEAKER_00

That's true.

SPEAKER_01

I don't see white people, I don't see Asians, I don't see nobody but black people on my algorithm over and over and over again. And Instagram, all of these, there's a Latino algorithm, yeah, there's white algorithms, and all I see is us. Yeah, I want to know what the white people are doing too. Like, there's a Republican algorithm, there's conservative, there's a conservative algorithm that you just like out of. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_00

Your algorithm is pigs being slaughtered in big booties, pigs being slaughtered, big booties, fitness, fitness, like I'm seeing all different types of exercises, yeah. Um, food, uh, recently, like healthy, healthier food. One thing for me is turtles. Turtles?

SPEAKER_01

Turtles gonna come up with my algorithm.

SPEAKER_00

Why turtles?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I love turtles, yeah. Turtles are my favorite animal, yeah. Turtles come up all the time. I just watched a turtle video, a six-minute turtle video yesterday. They was taking a little uh barnacles off the off the shell, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, no, that's yeah, yeah, okay. I understand that, but I didn't understand like a six-minute turtle video without somebody else in it is wild. They was he was helping the turtle. Yeah, I know now. Like, I understand that. I could watch that. Oh, I seen the turtle, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

All right. Whoa. Never mind.

SPEAKER_00

No, no, go ahead. Go ahead. Say what you're doing. It had this the turtle, you know.

SPEAKER_01

They had this big turtle as a as a uh as a pet, young. He was about this big, young. And he was walking around, yeah. Turtles got a lot of personality. He was just like moving the furniture with it, with his with his shell, yeah. He was just like bumping the furniture off with his shell, you know.

SPEAKER_00

I didn't know turtles had a lot of personality. They do. I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

There you go. You learn something new today, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

But keep these butts off my timeline, man. Yeah, that's impossible, yeah. They're gonna stay there. They stay in there forever. I tried to get rid of them, like I really have. I've tried to get rid of them. But the thing is, is that like, you know, it's it's very hard to not look. It's like seeing. Yeah, it's it's like it's tough, but you didn't I didn't ask for it. Yeah, because then like you, it'll be motion with it. Yeah, we need to have a conversation with Instagram about this.

SPEAKER_00

Because Instagram is is is a pretty ridiculous.

SPEAKER_01

And I would love to know if fellas, if that's a real thing for all of the fellas. If what if you just get unsolicited or unasked for I'm sure, because it's the way of the world.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, we get unsolicited like that just in in in life in general. Like we was talking about the gym, like the gym in general, like you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01

The the I remember what are you about to say?

SPEAKER_00

So I think that I saw a conversation, and and sometimes I may agree that there may need Oh no, don't say it.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, we you I know I think I know where you're about to go, yeah. Go ahead. If you want to take this risk, I disagree. You just want to say that off the top. I disagree.

SPEAKER_00

All right, well, then we're moving forward then. I'm not even gonna do it. No, go ahead. If you want to do it, if you want to do it, go ahead. Nah, I'm good. I'm good. I don't even want to do it. Don't do it. See, that's messed up. That that's messed up because you know if you if you if you say certain things, it's you know, you can't you can have an opinion about it, but I'm just I don't think that that is one of those things that you'll get canceled for.

SPEAKER_01

You can have an opinion, but I just feel like you know, women are policing enough.

SPEAKER_00

And and I would agree.

SPEAKER_01

And and the conversation has to be, I I think that the conversation has to be about um men's discipline less than women's policing.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. So when you when you put it that way, you know, because I never think about it, and I think that I always get put in my place when it comes to conversations about women because um I'm not like I I have to realize that men in the world are not necessarily like me. Exactly. You know what I'm saying? And there are creeps, and it's a great amount of creeps. A lot of them. Yeah, and it's a great amount of people who don't respect women. Yeah, it's a great amount of people who don't like women, yeah, who don't like women, and and so you know, when I have these opinions or whatever, especially when I'm around you, you you always like, yo, hold up. And then that makes me wake up like, uh yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, but I think, you know, and I and I appreciate you saying that, but I, you know, it's something that I still work on. Like I I think that though you can have that conversation and kind of see it, it's still something that you're always uh trying to fix and work on.

SPEAKER_00

But I think that um but do you think my bad, not too much, but do you think that that Also doesn't allow us to have fair conversation when it comes to you know certain things that quote unquote good men, you know, may have because it's a but because we have to, you know, walk on eggshells about certain things because we understand what they're dealing with.

SPEAKER_01

So I don't think we necessarily have to walk on eggshells, but I think that men have had greater access to power and kind of controlling the conversation and controlling the narrative for women. And I think that women are put in a position and it have been uh lately uh have been forced to critically examine what the positions in which we've learned over time, it makes men uncomfortable. Uh, and I think that we gotta be conscious of that, that, that discomfort when having a conversation, um, that we are now in a place where we have to sit and listen rather than give directive. Okay. Um, and so no, I don't I I think we should have always been walking on eggshells around how we have conversations, especially about uh, you know, about women, because they deserve the same amount of conversation because we get bothered when women say that how men should act, right?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, but it's it's it's open, it's open, it's it's open season for that. No, it's not. Yeah, no, it's not. Men get bother just as bothered. No, when I what I'm what I mean by open season is that you know there is not uh a lot of there's not as much backlash from men collectively when women uh have something to say about us.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, what that's why you just I feel like you just said that men, women are saying, don't police me. Women are saying all these different things, and men are responding in ways that are that are uncomfortable, just you know, uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_00

That's that I think no, that's not, I don't think that we're on the same. So I said, because I understand what women have gone through, and I understand how many creeps and all of this stuff is out there, right? When it comes to good men, such as you know, such as me and you, I would say that, and the people that we around and so forth and so on. If we have some kind of um opinion about something that is necess that isn't uh that isn't how can I say this, politically correct per se in nature. We won't necessarily like we won't say it because of what of I'm trying to I don't think I'm saying this correctly. I don't think I'm even in my mind, I don't think it's coming out the way that I intend it to come out.

SPEAKER_01

I think that you're saying that there's a fear of backlash from from speaking from saying what you really feel about a situation for men, for men, but I don't think that that same backlash is on the opposite side for what women have something to say about men.

SPEAKER_00

Right. I don't and it's backlash, but I just don't think it's at the same level. I do understand that it is backlash. So I think And then the backlash that the women receive are from men who, you know, like you said, it goes back to the men who don't like women and the men who, you know, and they come off pretty harsh.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I think that we, I think that there are there are things, there's conversations about uh how men and women have had to uh, you know, what the relationship has been like over time. And I think that we in a situation now, I you know, when I'm thinking about like how quote unquote how careful men have to be when having a particular conversation, I think it's centered in just making sure that we are informed to have those conversations. I think that's where it's coming from. Is that am I informed enough and is my opinion informed enough to for me to say this out loud? Because I what I don't think that we do a very good job of is being curious. I think we are has have men have had this uh access to power, and we just say, this is what it is, this is kind of what we're gonna say it is, and we standing on that rather than being curious about where my opinion has come from or where this idea has come from. And I think women has had to manage that for far much longer than we had. Okay, so that's what that's what came up for me. Okay, so you know, uh I don't really know. And you might be right, but that's okay too.

SPEAKER_00

I think that that's the the the appropriate answer because whatever you just said, like I understand that, but you you just didn't you didn't really answer the question. Okay. But I mean, you just said it. I just think that it's just is it's like you you uh what is it? You you sleep in the bed you made. You know what I'm saying? Oh, another metaphor. Yeah, you sleep in the bed you made. So we made this, you know, we created this, so we we have to deal with it. That's how I view it. Um right, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I just think that men have a lot, we have we have a lot to learn. Agree. I think we have a lot, and I think that it's okay for men to say that and still feel confidence and be pursued and feel, you know, and also say, Darren got a lot to learn. Because men have an extreme amount to learn about patriarchy. I agree.

SPEAKER_00

Extreme amount. I think this is and it's not necessarily an issue. I think that this is the thoughts that go in my head. Yeah, when you have a lot to learn, it makes it seem as if you can't have any kind of opinion to the other side. Like even when you talk about it, it makes it seem like considering we have a lot to learn, considering we have a lot to make up for, you know, that we if because of that, we can't be critical about the other side. We can't say, and because we've had power, and because we've you know, we've we've done all of these things that we that you you can't say nothing to them. And I feel like that makes men feel handcuffed, you know what I'm saying? And and to be honest, I don't think that that is even healthy for both the man and the woman.

SPEAKER_01

This is interesting. That's a that's a that's a good conversation. Look, you just had it, so you said it. I think this is what just came up for me. This is tight too, because it's something that just really came up for me. You know, I train teachers, right? So when I'm training teachers, I do a lot, I train a lot of new teachers, right? And they come in with these ideas about what they think will work in a school. Like they have these, like, you know, they 20, 21, 22, like, nah, this is gonna work, and the administration needs to do this, and I'm sitting there like this is your first year. Like, you just need to be curious. You need to ask the right questions. You need you need to not come in here acting like you just know everything because you a teacher and because you got a degree. And I think that the conversation gets better and you're able to have like this dialogue back and forth when we understand as men, we gotta s we gotta sit down in our comfort in not knowing, and rather be more curious than accusatory. That's what comes up for me, and that's what and I'm not saying that I get it perfect all the time, but I think that that is when you don't know something, you have to sit in that, like be my teacher and also learn on our own. Because if we're reading about it and if we're studying, then I think our um conversation will be more uh enhanced, I guess, about it.

SPEAKER_00

So, so when do you think that we'll be in a space where we can have feedback? Like, when are we no longer a one-year teacher?

SPEAKER_01

No, no, no. I don't know if if you get into a space where you necessarily have to have feedback. I think that it's a conversation, but even that conversation, like I have feedback. I need to tell you what I feel about you. It's like is a is a is a theme that we're playing in our heads around control. Why can't we have a conversation that is not necessarily based in our authority?

SPEAKER_00

Well, we can't. We I mean, that's the whole argument, is that I don't feel like we can. Because if we do, well, if we have a conversation that's not based in our authority and we're curious and we're asking questions, and out of those questions, we have ideas, or you know what I'm saying, we're like, hey, you don't think you can have those type of conversational questions with your wife? Yeah, with my wife, I think I can. All right.

SPEAKER_01

I think that sometimes our the way in which society is set up right now, we want to have these larger conversations with society. Okay. But the people that's close to us, you you can have those conversations.

SPEAKER_00

So those are the conversations that you have.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and I'm sure that they allow them in and all those other things. But I think sometimes one of the things that we talk about, especially with this podcast, is that like everybody wanna be like, you know, and I'm like, no, you don't, that's not no. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I I totally agree. I would never do that, but I do think that it is constructive. There, there's constructive conversation. Like, I think that there should be a space where um even uh even when it comes to relationships, I think that there should be a space where women can come and ask men questions about relationships, right? And they are able to give these women these answers so that women aren't going to their girlfriends to ask them about how men feel. And then I also think that men should go to spaces and be able to ask women about relationships so they're not going to their homeboys asking them about, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you know, black people, man, we are such a communal people, is that we always want to like, you know, that's part of like our culture, is that we we're communal. We want to like, oh, but we so we're not a monolith, we so different. Like, cause you would date a girl who won't take the cart back, you know what I'm saying? And I'm like, and I can't do that. Like, it's so, it's so, you know, with we're so different in the way in which we everyone approaches relationships and conversations, you know what I'm saying? So, you know, that's all part of it, man. Yeah, you wanna argue, bro? Let's argue, yeah, man.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, we've been doing this the whole time. We've been arguing the whole time. Nah, I don't even think we really argued that much this time.

SPEAKER_01

Nah, yeah. We was chilling, like you just cut me off. You ain't even cut me off that much this time.

SPEAKER_00

I've been trying, you've been trying to help me. All right, there we go, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. I noticed it, dog.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I've been listening to a woman. My wife has told me that I cut you off a lot.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. You should. That's good. That's good. Conversation was much better today. Whatever, yeah. Shout out to my homie, my sister, Shereel. Damn, okay. All right, it's a good one. All right. All right, all right. So, how we do this again?

SPEAKER_00

You read the joint, I get to pick which side I take.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Which is more important in a relationship? Loyalty or love? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

In a relationship, I think loyalty is more important. Because I think that loyalty breeds love. Um, at some point, when you are super committed to someone and you are doing all of the things for them. And I mean, from my idea of what loyalty means, it means that, you know, I committed to you, um, I committed to serving you, I committed to, you know, trying to to to do things to, you know, just forward this relationship. I think that that then breeds love. If I continue to do it constantly over and over and over again, I will grow to love you. I think.

SPEAKER_06

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

So I think that loyalty is more important than love.

SPEAKER_01

All right. And so love is definitely more important than loyalty. Uh because, you know, love is the, you know, the I think the foundation of all things. And so if you are to have a healthy relationship, the foundation has to be. And love to me is defined as the greatest form of understanding. Um, and so when I think of, you know, completely in a relationship, like I have to love you fully, and I have to have like a full understanding of who and what you are, what makes you tick, what doesn't make you tick, um, how to show um how I should because love is a verb, right? Like, what am I doing every single day to show you that I love you? Um, and that is what makes a healthy relationship. Because if you ain't focused on um just service, because love is service, right? It's being able to as much as you can show up for that, for your whoever you are loving. So definitely love is is definitely more important than loyalty. Because loyalty, you know what I mean? You can have blind loyalty. Um, and it can be loyalty that that is not even attached to love. And like, what type of relationship is that to be you know blind without having no, you know punish that time. Hey, I punished you, dog. You you felt that.

SPEAKER_00

I was like going first, yeah. You felt that I think you won that one. I think you won that one for real, for real. I ain't know I ain't know how to answer it. Yeah, I know how to answer it. I ain't gonna answer it. You might have got that one. Might have. Yeah, you might have got that one.

SPEAKER_01

And you gonna read it or you're not gonna do it?

SPEAKER_00

I wanna read it first before to see if it's a good one. All right, but this is a paragraph, so chill out.

SPEAKER_01

You trying to read it first, so you won't misspell no.

SPEAKER_00

No, I'm just trying to read it so it's not something.

SPEAKER_01

I should do it in the second grade. A man with pre-read is your part.

SPEAKER_00

A man wants to move himself and his wife to another state. He believes the reason is completely justified, maybe for work, safety, or a fresh start. She doesn't agree and refuses to go. If submission only happens when you agree, is it really submission?

SPEAKER_01

If submission only happens when you agree, is it really submission? If submission only happens when you agree, is it you can give me my side and I'll take it. You just tell me which side. That's not how it goes. I'm just letting you know I can do I can do whatever. Yeah, but you that's not how it goes. Alright, if submission, if submission, no, it's not. It's not really submission if you're only doing it when you agree. Submission is this it has the idea of believe um is this even when you do not like it or don't agree with it, submission is based in trust of the person that they have your best interest in at heart. So you cannot agree with something, and it only happens, you can only really be submissive if it's when in full submission. Now you can be submissive or be in a submissive joint and agree, but full submission is like, yo, I trust you fully with us kind of moving in the right way. So for me, uh submission can um only really happen when you know you don't agree.

SPEAKER_00

Submission can only happen when you don't agree. That was the question, right? No, the question was is it really if submission only happens when you agree?

SPEAKER_01

Is it really submission? Yeah, so it's not really submission if it only happens when you agree. Submission is full um release with a person that you trust to help guide you and move you through life, even when you disagree.

SPEAKER_00

Even when you disagree, yeah. So I would say that submission, it's also submission if hold on, re reading. Come on, dog, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

See, I told you it was reading that joke. That joke punishing you right now. This is crucial. This is not focus on the first part, just focus on the.

SPEAKER_00

I know that's what I'm doing. I gotta keep reading it. I gotta keep reading it. Submission only happens when you agree. What is that? What was that? I knew it. I knew this was a good thing. Submission only happens when you agree. Is it really submission? And you said no.

SPEAKER_01

You want to edit this?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, no, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not. This is a tough one. If submission only happens when you agree, and you said no, and I'ma say yes. It is submission.

unknown

It's joke.

SPEAKER_03

It is, I got it. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

No, no, no. Let me get it. Let me get it. Let me get it. It's submission only happens when you agree. Is it really submission? I understand what it's saying though. And I would say that. I think wholeheartedly that you have to agree. Let me say my part. I feel like you have to agree in order for it to be submissive. So even like when it comes to wedding vows and things of that nature, like you know what's coming. And so you agree to it. You agree to, you know, to submit, first of all, and that's because you feel like what you're submitting to is something that's not going to be uh blindsided. You know what I'm saying? You feel like you know this person to a point where they're not just gonna say anything, and you know, you have to submit to it. So I do think that it's a level of uh it has to be a level of aggression. Stop, yeah. I'm making a good point, yeah. You leaving me out. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you laughing me out. I don't want to do that to you. I don't believe they did that either, yeah. I should have got another car. That job was crucial. I was doing it, I was doing it.

SPEAKER_03

I was doing it in a woman, I'm gonna get in the woman.

SPEAKER_00

But I was doing it, and I'm gonna do it, you know.

SPEAKER_03

Yum, whatever, yummy.

SPEAKER_00

That joy was the doozy. That joy was the doozy. Yum.

SPEAKER_03

I'm I know we gotta go.

SPEAKER_00

I didn't appreciate that, you know. You know, talk about your book, you know.

SPEAKER_01

I'm reading Black South Wasteland. SA Crosby. Okay. Don't read this joke right now. Type book.

SPEAKER_00

This is hold up. This is another book. Yeah, I'm reading all his books. This is the fourth book?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's probably the fourth drink.

SPEAKER_00

Uh lift the book up so they can see it a little more. Oh, your mic up. You gotta lift your mic up.

SPEAKER_01

Right here. S.A. Crosby. Uh it's about um I just I just got into it, young. I just got into it not too long ago. But it's very good. It's a book, brother. You think about going back? He's a crime drink, so he's thinking about going back to like selling again. He even fell on hard times, he's a mechanic. You know what I mean? So I just got into a me and M Easy. Shout out to M Easy, shout out to the social justice school, too, because that's the uh school he founded. But um, me and M Easy reading this junk. We call it this tight though, because we call each other like every day, yeah. About the book, about the book. We read like a chapter.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I was gonna ask you, you read a chapter and then you go. Yeah, young.

SPEAKER_01

We were just talking about how tight it was, y'all. Like, we read a chapter, we have a conversation about the characters, what's going on in the book. Yeah. Little five minute quick conversation. He put a way to work, you know what I'm saying? But it's just a great way to like bond with them, yeah, you know what I'm saying, connect with them and also talk about something that we're doing together.

SPEAKER_00

So that's tight. That's been cool, man. Yeah, that's tight. I try to do that with uh With with some some some youngers that I was working with, man. I try to do that with uh my man Zeke, who actually behind the camera, and my man Baba, but every time the chapter was done, nobody was reading. I was the only person that was reading, man.

SPEAKER_01

It takes a little bit, man. I you know, to like sit down and calm your spirit and actually like sit down and actually read something, man.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, but as you see, reading is really important. It's a fundamental card right here. Don't do it again, y'all. Yeah, if submission only happens when you agree. I was killing it though, yeah. If submission only happens when you agree, is it really submission?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's all good, man. Hey, hey, man, it was it was dope, man. Yeah, conversation, man.

SPEAKER_00

Dope conversation, dog. Um, you know, yeah, size to be doing this with you, man. My man. Play the music. Play the music.

SPEAKER_06

Back in victorious, back in victorious victorious.

Head Shot

Black

Host
Head Shot

Victorious

Host