From Foster Care to Fostering Dreams: Vallery Mitchell on Healing, Service & Community

In this inspiring episode of More Than 2 Min, Vallery “I Get Stuff Done” Mitchell shares her journey from being placed in foster care at birth to becoming the founder & CEO of the Fostering Dreams Foundation and an award-winning nonprofit leader.

Vallery dives into her “season of growth,” balancing graduate school, leadership, and service while staying grounded in purpose. She reflects on how her upbringing shaped her passion for serving foster youth and how she turned that passion into a thriving organization impacting thousands of lives.

This episode explores:
• Life in the foster care system and identity challenges
• Turning trauma into purpose and community impact
• Building a nonprofit with limited funding
• The importance of mental health, healing, and boundaries
• Lessons from athletics, coaching, and leadership
• Faith, discipline, and resilience in entrepreneurship

The story of Vallery Mitchell is a powerful reminder that healing is ongoing—and that purpose is often born from the very challenges we face.

🎙️ So sit back, grab some tea, and tune in for a conversation about growth, grit, and giving back.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Thank you for joining More Than Two Minutes. I'm your humble host, Will E. Our guest today is someone whose story is not just powerful, it's purposeful. On More Than Two Minutes, we often talk about burning the boat so you can build bridges, which at its core means not staying stuck in where you started, but using your journey to create connection, opportunity, and impact. And today's guest embodies that in every sense. Instead of being angered to her past, she made a decision to move forward intentionally, relentlessly, and with purpose. She took her lived experience and turned it into a mission, founding Fostering Dreams, an organization dedicated to giving foster youth access to the experiences, support, and sense of belonging that every child deserves. Her work is transforming lives across North Texas, but more importantly, it's shifting mindsets, proving that your past doesn't have to be your identity. It can be your future. This is a story about resilience, about purpose. A story about what happens when you burn the boat so you can start building bridges. So sit back, grab your tee, and listen to foster care advocate, philanthropist, entrepreneur, coach, and more importantly, my niece. Valerie, I get stuff done, Mitchell. Valerie, I get stuff done, Mitchell. Thank you for joining me here on More Than Two Minutes.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

Thanks for having me. Excited to be here.

SPEAKER_00 1:26

My niece.

SPEAKER_01 1:27

Yes, and my uncle.

SPEAKER_00 1:29

So um before I get into uh the the first segment and talk about your background, your journey and everything. Uh a few episodes ago, I started asking a question uh to each guest.

SPEAKER_02 1:42

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:43

And so uh the question is uh you know, you know my my health issues. I've been having health challenges for the past couple years. And a lot of times people would ask me, uh, how are you feeling? How you feeling? And I got really tired of hearing that. And so I started this uh I came up with this idea. So I started asking people, what season are you in? So that's what I want to ask you.

SPEAKER_01 2:05

So right now I would say that I am in a season of growth. I am in a season of chasing my dreams again. Um I know oftentimes people go off to school, and you know, when you're graduating high school, you go off to college, that's where your chasing of your dreams begin. Well, I've decided to reset that clock for myself, and I decided to go back to grad school at the age of 32. Um, and I'm in grad school right now, on top of being the president of Foster and Dreams Foundation, on top of being the head of a program at a school, on top of being an educator. And so I'm really just learning a lot more about myself, how much can I push myself? There was a season where I wasn't really challenging myself, how I am right now. And so to see myself rise to the occasion, not give up, although sometimes I'm like, I don't think I should be doing this. But you know, the late nights, the pushing, push and submit at 1158, when they do it at 1159, uh, we've all been there. So just a season of growth, determination, and just survival to achieve what I want to achieve.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Well, congratulations on building another bridge. You know, one thing that I say often is uh burn the boat so that we can build bridges. And I really believe in that concept. The other thing that I believe in, and I know that you are uh very much uh a faith-driven uh woman. Uh the other thing that I say is that our blessing, our only real or true blessing is grace. Right. Uh because it's not owed to us. Right. And and so as we go into this hour, maybe a little bit shorter.

SPEAKER_01 3:36

We'll see.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

We'll see. We'll see. Uh the thing that I want to talk to you about or ask you about is where did it all start?

SPEAKER_01 3:43

Where did it all start for me and the work that I do today? I would say I have to give a huge shout out to my dad. I always do when I get asked a question like this, is he instilled service. Like from the moment that I was embraced into this family and until this day, he instilled service in me. So I've always been one to serve others. I have fallen in love with it. If I feel empty when I'm not serving, that's what a lot of people don't know about me. They see a lot everything I'm doing and they think you're working too hard. And I'm letting them know, like, no, I'm serving. Like, this is what fills my cup. Like, if I'm not doing this, I feel incomplete. So I I love my dad and I thank him for teaching me that how important service is. And that's where it all began. And then from that, I felt like I wanted to serve people who were like me.

SPEAKER_03 4:31

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:32

And I found a lot of power in being in a room with people who are like me. Um on my way here, I was just thinking about I know that sometimes the me too phrase can have negative connotation, but have you ever stood in a room where you're talking to someone and you're venting and you're vulnerable and you're able to say, you know what, me too? And you feel a little bit of a sigh of relief, like, okay, someone understands. So, like when I go and do the work that I do, and like I'm in a room of foster youth, and I'm able to be like, okay, I remember this, and it's a me too moment, and I'm just like, this is exactly where I want to be. I feel so fulfilled, and I'm happy that I can provide that space for you.

SPEAKER_00 5:09

That's really cool. That's really cool. So let's take it back even further. So you're born and raised where?

SPEAKER_01 5:14

I was born in Kleene, Texas. Kleen. Yeah, I know, right? Um, Kleen, I guess. And then I was placed immediately in the foster care system at birth due to my birth conditions. And then I spent about six years in the foster care system in Bell County. Okay. And then my amazing adoptive parents um found me. They decided to look for youth outside of Dallas County. And so they found me and they adopted me and raised me right here in DeSoto, Texas.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

Wow. And so uh you did you go to DeSoto uh schools?

SPEAKER_01 5:47

I went to DeSoto Public Schools until seventh grade. So when I was in the seventh grade, I transferred to Life Charter O'Cliffe, and I spent seventh through tenth grade there, and then um I was able to transfer to Canterbury Episcopal School and I graduated from there. That's where I was able to become a two-time state champion in volleyball.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

Yeah, let's roll that back right there. Okay, so volleyball. Yes, that's a life. Okay, when did you first get into volleyball?

SPEAKER_01 6:14

I got into volleyball in seventh grade, and the craziest story, like I had never played before, but I was new to Life Charter Oak Cliff. I had managed to make a friend or two. Um, and they were like, we're going to volleyball tryouts after school today. And I was like, Well, I don't want to be alone, so I'm gonna go too. So I ended up going to volleyball tryouts with them, made the team with them, uh, made a team, which was crazy because I had never picked up a volleyball before in my life. Made the team, and then after that, I never put the volleyball down again. I still play to this day.

SPEAKER_00 6:44

So, what's your most memorable moment, you know, during that that that first season of playing volleyball?

SPEAKER_01 6:50

During that first season of playing volleyball, I remembered just our volleyball team was really good. We all had the same mindset. We wanted to be excellent together. Um and just going and honestly, I'd love to win. I'm not gonna lie to anybody. So the winning moment. Yes. The winning moments with my team. There I still remember certain points and certain games all the way back to seventh and eighth grade. Um, but just realizing that the people that I started volleyball with, I still talk to to this very day. I still see them annually. Um, they still come and support me at my events. We kind of make sure, like one person that I played with, she's a volleyball coach at Life Charter O'Cliff. So we kind of make sure we always schedule each other to play each other now in our current roles at our schools. So just understanding that the people you're playing sports with, if you do it right, that's your family. And you're gonna know them forever again if you do it right.

SPEAKER_00 7:44

Yeah, yeah, that's nice. That's nice. So when you were going through that first season or the first few seasons, um, you said winning, you like winning.

SPEAKER_01 7:52

I love winning.

SPEAKER_00 7:52

Okay, so the first game that you won, what position were you playing?

SPEAKER_01 7:58

I was playing all the way around.

unknown 8:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 8:00

I had a good little vertical back then. Now not so much. Back then in seventh grade, I could jump pretty high. So I was playing all the way around. Um, God bless me, with to be athletic, have an athletic nature about myself. So I was able to serve really well, I was able to jump and attack very well. So, and my determination, like I was not gonna let the ball hit the floor. Like that was just something always known about me. So I used to go all the way around back then.

SPEAKER_00 8:25

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I always think, and you know, I grew up uh being a musician and I didn't understand this until later on in life when I was sitting in front of a therapist. But with things that we're passionate about, either we're running away from something or we're running towards something. So when in those very early years of playing volleyball, which wasn't for you.

SPEAKER_01 8:47

I believe that I was probably running towards healing. So this is seventh grade, 13-year-old girl, you're just you know, learning about yourself and all those things, but I'm always vulnerable enough to share it with people. I I had a huge identity crisis probably until I was 26 years old.

SPEAKER_03 9:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

Just because although, you know, I am adopted and I love my adoptive family, you'll always have this like, where did you come from?

unknown 9:12

Right.

SPEAKER_01 9:12

What were those people like? So always struggle with identity, but on the court I could always be sure of myself and who I was and my abilities. Um, so I was basically running towards Hill and at every rally, every play, every game, I just felt whole, complete, and I just felt a little bit better about myself as time went on, as I got to compete in that sport.

SPEAKER_00 9:34

During the early years of competing, uh was there any particular moment that shaped that that younger version of you?

SPEAKER_01 9:41

I would say just the coach believing in me in general, knowing that I had no experience, but she had to see that I was going to, like you said, get stuff done. Like she had to see that's probably what got my spot on that team. And then my work ethic. I used to, you can call my parents right now and ask. I would be at home passing the volleyball on the roof 300 times a day, running, doing all these different exercises on my app on my own time to make sure that I am the best version of myself for the team. So I'm pretty sure that just my coaches choosing to notice that instead of where my raw talent was at the time they met me, and choosing me to be a part of their team, that really shaped me to be who I am today. Um, and that's kind of how I train the athletes that I coach today. Like just get it done. You might not be where you want to be or where your coach wants you to be, but if your coach believes in your work ethic um thing, things would work out.

SPEAKER_00 10:34

Yeah, because everything in life it starts with your approach, right? Right.

SPEAKER_01 10:37

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 10:38

Uh so you leave uh Canterbury, then you go where?

SPEAKER_01 10:42

So I graduated, I graduated from Canterbury. I left life school and went to Canterbury. Went to Canterbury. Um it was like sophomore year, I remember. And I remember kind of playing volleyball in a rec league, and then we were like, we want to be challenged more, and then I got to transfer to Canterbury and joined their team. And Coach there was both coaches. I still talk to both coaches to this day.

unknown 11:05

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_01 11:05

And I actually work for my Canterbury coach now. Um That's cool. Yeah, it's really cool. So uh shout out to Coach Bond, you know, and shout out to Coach A. Both of them really shaped who I am today. And we he is an amazing scout. He's actually an NBA scout. So I believe what really changed my mindset on the game is being able to scout teams. And I saw an amazing quote today was like, we have to change it from us versus them to our preparation versus their preparation. And that was very insightful. And so I believe that we got to win state two years in a row because it was our prep versus their prep. And Coach Vaughn did not play about prep. Like he scouted those people. Yeah, and so I got to win state twice, which is a feeling I can never shake. Every day I wake up, I'm like, wow, I'm a state champion. Wow, super cool. But to do it once is great, to do it two times in a row is a blessing, and it was great. And then after Canterbury, I graduated, went to Angelo State University. Yeah. Um, I left there after freshman year and transferred to Midwestern State where I graduated from. Okay. Midwestern's where? In Wichita Falls. Wichita Falls is hot there.

SPEAKER_00 12:14

The reason I know it's hot there is because of hotter in the hair.

SPEAKER_01 12:17

Exactly. I was about to say, ride and by. Ride and by. So yeah, I graduated from Midwestern State, and that's currently where I'm back in school at to get my uh master's degree.

SPEAKER_00 12:26

What'd you get your uh bachelor's in?

SPEAKER_01 12:28

I got my bachelor's degree in criminal justice.

SPEAKER_00 12:30

Criminal justice.

SPEAKER_01 12:31

Cool fun fact.

SPEAKER_00 12:32

Okay, you wanted to be a criminologist or something?

SPEAKER_01 12:34

I actually wanted to be an FBI agent that will work on a special task force to help prevent and um eliminate human trafficking.

SPEAKER_00 12:43

Okay, wait, so you had this thought back in college, right? Fresh. Well, way before. Well, way before.

SPEAKER_01 12:48

I used to be a I used to be an SVU junkie, okay? Like Yeah, I was a part of that show, if you ask me.

SPEAKER_02 12:54

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_01 12:55

But I was always watching crime shows for like from junior high. And so I criminal justice is always like my core. Like I love the criminology world. Um, but I always really wanted to get into helping victims of human trafficking and all that. I even wrote my senior thesis for high school about it. Um, so that's what I originally wanted to do. So I was gonna become a police officer and all these things. But as you know, um, they don't know, but as you know, two knee surgeries later, I was not going to anyone police academy. So I had to sh change like my entire um career. Yeah. Or change how I was gonna pursue what I would like to do.

SPEAKER_00 13:34

Yeah, yeah. So uh talking about or thinking about those uh those knee injuries, both of them I I would imagine came from uh playing volleyball, not necessarily walking up or down some stairs, right?

SPEAKER_01 13:45

No, we wish. Yes, I have had um five knee surgeries. Five five knee surgeries. I have blown I have blown my knee out twice playing volleyball.

SPEAKER_02 13:56

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:57

Um freshman year of college was the first time, and then senior year of college was the second time. So a fun fact is that I walked across the stage for graduation on crutches.

unknown 14:08

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 14:09

Yes, it it's crazy. So I'm crutching across the stage to get my degree, but hey, we're here.

SPEAKER_02 14:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:14

And then um right after graduation, um, my knee started to just just started to go to a bent stage, like it didn't heal correctly. So they had to go back in and clean it out and straighten it back up.

SPEAKER_02 14:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:27

And then two or three years later, it started bending again. Yeah. Um, so I had to go get it cleaned again. And then I want to say my fifth time was I'll never forget I was playing volleyball the day I was also leaving for a cruise. Ugh, I will never do that again. I will never do that again. And a girl ran into my knee, boom, and I was okay in the moment, but then maybe a few plays later, I just heard a little pop. Yeah. And then I couldn't walk.

SPEAKER_02 14:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 14:55

And so I'm like, this can't happen right now. I'm going on a cruise. Like, I'm going to my parents' house. We're driving down to the Houston and I'm going on a cruise. And I did just that.

SPEAKER_00 15:05

But wait, you did you went anything?

SPEAKER_01 15:07

Oh, I went.

SPEAKER_00 15:08

Bad knee and all.

SPEAKER_01 15:09

Bad knee and all. Went to Walgreens, bought some crutches, um got a sleeve, you know, all this tiptoe, got some medicine. I'm like, I'm we we're not changing the cruise. You can't change the cruise. Right, right. This knee's gonna be hurt.

SPEAKER_03 15:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:24

So on the cruise, I'm in a wheelchair. My mom's pushing me around, the whole cruise situation. Um, I mean, I'm in Belize, Castamayo, Cancun in a wheelchair because I wanted to play volleyball.

SPEAKER_02 15:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

But I ended up walking around with a bum leg for like three months and finally got surgery. I heard it in July.

SPEAKER_02 15:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:44

I got surgery Thanksgiving of that year.

unknown 15:46

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 15:47

So I I started because I just got hired at the school that I'm at today, too.

SPEAKER_02 15:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 15:51

So I coached, it was volleyball season. I'm like, I don't have time for surgery. So I just literally band-aided it. And then when they went in there, they were like, Yeah, you have a bucket handle tear of your meniscus. Um and I was like, Well, at least it's not an ACL, right? And then we all laugh, you know. Look at the upside. So they just went in there, shaved that out, and then um, yeah, I was good to go.

SPEAKER_00 16:11

But so I know with injuries, there's a lot of mental anguish. You get one injury to shuts you down, it's hard.

SPEAKER_01 16:19

Right.

SPEAKER_00 16:20

Two, three. But after you have five situations where they have to go in, you know, cutting to your knee, do a repair. What did that do to you mentally?

SPEAKER_01 16:31

I would say for some odd reason, or it's not an odd reason, it's a blessing that I'm always a person that's all right, you gotta keep going.

unknown 16:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:40

I think it's, you know, a trauma response, I will admit that. That you just have to get up and you gotta keep going. So it sucked, but what else are you gonna do? Soak in it, sit in it.

SPEAKER_02 16:50

Right.

SPEAKER_01 16:50

So I'm like, oh, you gotta keep going. Now I will say I'm way more fearful today to play volleyball than I've ever been before in my life.

SPEAKER_02 16:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 16:57

But of course my dad doesn't want to hear this.

unknown 16:59

I still play volleyball.

SPEAKER_01 17:01

Um, but I try to stay at the back. But I just, you know, there's times I cried. I think the scariest surgery was um I woke up, Mimi was there, and I'm like, girl, what you doing here? Um, Mimi was there, my dad, you know, he's a very goofy man. So he wasn't joking. My mom was looking around like, what what's what what's going on here?

SPEAKER_02 17:21

Right.

SPEAKER_01 17:21

And unfortunately, that particular surgery surgery, um, they really let me know I didn't wake up on time. So that was scary. And I would say that was a scary situation. Like I didn't wake up on time and I guess my well, not I guess, they ended up s taking me from surgery center to an emergency room.

SPEAKER_02 17:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:38

My lung had collapsed and I just didn't respond to the anesthesia as they had hoped. Um, and so that's why Mimi was there and everybody looking at me like, girl, hello, um, Earth to Valerie. Um, so that one was scary.

SPEAKER_02 17:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:50

Because it's like things could have gone anyway.

SPEAKER_02 17:53

Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_01 17:53

But then after getting over that initial scare, um, I'm like, okay, now get your legs together and and don't put yourself in this situation again. But my motto is you gotta keep going.

SPEAKER_00 18:03

You gotta keep moving, which goes back to burn the boats, build bridges. Which uh now I want to uh to ask you about your mission. Turning pain into a mission. Exactly when did you uh found uh fostering dreams?

SPEAKER_01 18:23

Yes. So I founded fostering dreams around my senior year of college. Okay, around roughly 2015. So we are officially 11 years old, so that's exciting. But originally it was called Bali for the children.

SPEAKER_02 18:36

Bolly for the children, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:38

Because I'm now combining my two loves. I love volleyball, as y'all have heard me yap, yep, yap about. Um, I love volleyball, but I love serving Fox for you.

SPEAKER_02 18:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 18:47

So I I had the blessing of participating in a charity tournament when I was in high school called Bolly for Cure, and they were raising money for breast cancer. And I said, that's a great idea. I should do the same thing and donate items and funds to a children's shelter that I select. Um, so that's exactly what I did. And so we started as volley for the children. Um, I got the entire Wichita Falls community involved. When we first started, it was called Midnight Madness. We have the literally the whole community out playing volleyball, raising money, raising items, and I got to drop all this stuff off to a shelter. And that's the first time I just felt so fulfilled. And I was like, whatever I do, I had to keep doing this.

SPEAKER_03 19:26

Right.

SPEAKER_01 19:26

You know, because the ball just stopped bouncing for me, of course. But I had to keep serving and getting to go see those kids at the shelter and play with them.

SPEAKER_02 19:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:34

Um, that that really ignited everything that I do today. Like, I have to keep doing this. And so um I would say after I graduated, I hosted like one more volley for the children out there in Wichita Falls.

SPEAKER_02 19:47

Right.

SPEAKER_01 19:48

And then I moved back home and then I realized that we were changing, like we were evolving, we were growing, and you had to be willing to evolve with what your dreams are and your passion is. So I realized that I didn't want to limit myself to charity volleyball tournaments. So I knew I had to change the name. And that's where fostering dreams foundation came to life.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

So how'd that come to you, the name? Were you like sleep? Were you driving?

SPEAKER_01 20:15

It was just, I think I just really sat down and tried to think, what is it that I'm really trying to do for people? What did my parents do for me? And then you of course play on words. I I sat down and really Googled what is the definition of fostering. Like, why is it called foster care? Why is it called foster parents? So I really Googled the dream, I mean the definition of fostering. And then um I was like, okay, I get it. And I said, Well, I want to do that for their dreams. Like I might not be able to be their foster parent or anything like that, but I want to truly help them accomplish their dreams any way that I can. And so that's where fostering dreams came from.

SPEAKER_00 20:51

Yeah, it's a beautiful name, really, yes. Uh it's a strong and powerful name. You know, it has an an identity. That's one of the things that I first recognized when I heard it. Um, not to give too much of a spoiler alert. But spoiler alert, we're gonna we're gonna go back to the other journey. Right. Uh, but I know that facing fears publicly is not always easy. Right. But you have been celebrated and you have received accolade after accolade and pat on the back and you know, everything that I can think of over the past several years. And so I know that there's an uh article in D magazine. Yeah, uh, but I I don't want to do disservice by attempting to run down your menu of wows. Right. But but out of all the things that well, let's start with some of the things that you've been, um some of the either the awards or uh some of the accolades that you've received.

SPEAKER_01 21:48

Yes. And so we'll start with the nonprofit, then we could wiggle it to volleyball.

SPEAKER_02 21:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 21:53

Um so with the nonprofit, I was awarded DCO magazine 2025 nonprofit. Micro nonprofit of the year. That was honestly one of the best experiences of my life. When you're in nonprofit, when you're a philanthropist, you can really feel like your voice isn't being heard. That magnifies for a micro nonprofit. That's what a lot of people don't know. Because it's like, you know, you see all the big nonprofits getting all the money, all the support, and you just want people to understand your mission and what you're doing. And you'll feel unheard a lot. So to see that, um, to get awarded by such a prestigious organization and magazine, to be able to go to the award show and be in a room, that was a very powerful room to be in. Right. And to see all of the, I mean, we have Mavs Foundation there. You have, I mean, it was so many people in that room. Under one roof, I end up sitting next to that person, the president of that. Um, you have the president of uh Paul Quinn that was in the room and at my table. So then to learn all the amazing people you're in the room with, and then to sit there and because you don't know you went until of course that night at the banquet.

SPEAKER_02 23:04

Right.

SPEAKER_01 23:04

To hear them talk about your story on such a stage and then award you with the award, that is something that I've never experienced in my life. And it it's not a feeling that I'm going to chase, but if it happens again, I'm gonna be like, yeah. That's definitely fueling me to push forward. Um, because a lot of people don't know, and I share vulnerably like in in a mint spaces that you know there's sometimes I'm like, you know, maybe this year is a wrap. Like we're not getting the funding that we need, we're not getting the support that we need. So, you know, this year is gonna maybe it's gonna be our last year. Yeah, yeah. And then every time I have thoughts like that, then something like D magazine comes about. Right. Um, and it that's what's reminding me to keep going. Sitting at the the charity event in August, I mean not August, in December, and where we got to serve our largest amount of foster youth ever, and hearing those foster parents saying, Thank you for this event. We got to talk to other foster parents and we got to do this. So that's why it's so important for me to be at those events because that's what's going to keep me going. But um DCO magazine, that was a beautiful experience. And then that was in July of um 2025. And then shortly after that, I got an email, which was a blessing, another blessing. I got an email from the Meadows Foundation that's here in Dallas. Yeah. And they were just letting me know that they have realized they haven't worked with me.

SPEAKER_02 24:28

And I'm like, okay, great.

SPEAKER_01 24:30

I'm like, okay, great. Well, what do we need to do? And they were like, you know, just tell us about yourself. We got to get on a few meetings, and then they provided me with the largest grant we've ever had in organization history. They blessed us with $5,000, and without their um, without their grant, we wouldn't have had that Christmas event. Like we would That was a huge event. That was it was big, thanks to the Meadows Foundation. Like, you know, um, we would not have been able to serve that many kids, over a hundred children, foster parents, tons of gifts for all of them. Yeah, they not only supplied us with that grant, but they also hosted a toy drive for us. Yeah, so that was amazing.

SPEAKER_02 25:05

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:06

And then when we're a little, you know, Christmas is always like, and especially a lot of nonprofits, they're like, are they gonna get enough toys? That's always the question. Are you gonna get enough toys? So I started to worry a little bit on, I don't know if we're gonna have enough. I don't know if we're gonna have enough. Um, and spoiler alert, we had more than enough toys. But I want to say, like, at the very beginning of December out of nowhere, I'm just scrolling through my emails on Sunday, and I see an email from CBS 11 News.

SPEAKER_02 25:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 25:34

Um, and they were like, we've selected you as our 11 days of giving campaign, and we want to give you a thousand dollars. And yeah, we want to come see you this week and all these things. I'm like, whoa, wow, yeah, that's such a blessing. So um, you know, I got to be on CBS 11 News right maybe a week or two before the charity Christmas event that is the third week in December. I found it. Yes, yes. And I got, you know, shout out to Bo Evans. He did a TikTok with us, and what was beautiful about that event is I always get youth involved in seeing this, uh, not this side of things, but to see the work I'm putting in, not just see the results.

unknown 26:14

Right.

SPEAKER_01 26:14

So I like for them to see the whole process. So there was some youth there that day that got to watch me be interviewed by the news reporter, but also got to be at the event and just got to be around the whole process. Right. So that way, um, you know, one day you have to be inspired, right?

SPEAKER_02 26:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:31

So one day that you realize you could do this too, and you now are connected with someone that could walk you through that process and support you through that process.

SPEAKER_03 26:38

Right, right.

SPEAKER_01 26:38

Um, and so CBS 11 News, they honored us, and that's all the things that happened just last year for the Foster and Dreams Foundation. That's great.

SPEAKER_02 26:48

That's great.

SPEAKER_01 26:49

Um, we also we didn't even get to everything was happening so fast, Walmart also gave us like a thousand dollars as well. Wow, last Christmas. So we got a $1,000 brand from them. So we really had a great year. Foster and Dreams did last year. And it was crazy because again, I was like, is this gonna be our last year? We're not getting any support.

SPEAKER_03 27:08

Right.

SPEAKER_01 27:08

Um, so don't be afraid to reach out, don't be afraid to beg. Yeah, make sure you're always praying. You know, if you're gonna worry, then you're take you're taking away God's job. So you have to just do what God has asked you to do and understand that He's gonna supply you with what you need. So don't get caught up in the worrying.

SPEAKER_02 27:27

Right.

SPEAKER_01 27:27

So a lot of times I'm like, I just don't think it's gonna work, and this, this, and that. I hear God's voice like, who asked you to think? Nobody asked you to do that. It's so you go do. And so, you know, um, so I am so thankful to God for that entire year because I was thinking about giving up.

SPEAKER_02 27:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:44

Um, and as far as volleyball, volleyball, of course, like I can't do one without the other. Um, volleyball is a beautiful experience. I want to say in 2024, I did get to receive an award from the Junior Volleyball Association. They sponsored me to be a part of the American Volleyball Coaches Association diversity program. And so we got to, we I got, I received a national award. They flew me out to the national convention, and we got to be a part of the convention for free. They paid for the room, like we got to basically eat every day. We got to be in a room with the all the top volleyball coaches in the world are in this room. I got to meet the USA men's coach, all the MVPs. It was a great experience. Um then while out there, I got selected to run a huge clinic for kids, be a part of a team that actually put together the clinic for kids. And so it was like over a hundred kids at this clinic, and I'm like, wow, this is like an amazing experience. And the kids had fun. We had people telling us this is one of the best clinics they've seen organized um for this. So that was in 2024, and then um right after that, I got selected to be a part of Gold Medal Squared, which is a national training volleyball organization that has the best of the best coaches. So now I actually travel in the summer and coach on their behalf. Um, and it's a very good accolade and thing to have on your resume.

SPEAKER_00 29:08

Yeah, I can imagine. See, that's why I say getting stuff done. So when do you sleep?

SPEAKER_01 29:14

Oh my gosh, you know, I get asked that question all the time. Yeah. So I am a very strict boundary setter. That's what people are coming to learn. You know, they might not know it, but they know now. You know, so what exactly does that mean? So for me, for I know it has to be different for everyone. Um, but for me, that means no work after 9 p.m.

SPEAKER_02 29:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 29:35

Um, bedtime is at 9 p.m. You need to be winding down. Of course, there are gonna be times you cannot do that. Like if I'm still in the gym coaching. There's like one night a week, I'm still coaching. Right. Okay, but you know, yeah. Um, but you know, no working after 9 p.m. When I do get out of the gym, you know, that's why I have two phones. So I have a business phone, so I don't touch it after I get out the gym.

SPEAKER_02 29:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:57

And I I don't have any social media or any business emails or anything related to work on my personal cell phone. It's a very bland cell phone. Like it's like it's telling you the time and you're going to sleep. That's all that's on that personal phone.

SPEAKER_02 30:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:09

So I have a no work after 9 p.m. rule. Um, I it you when certain situations happen, if it if it's not a dire emergency, then you know, allow 24 hours, allow yourself time. When I was younger in this work, I would rush, like, oh my God, they need to know that I care. Like, I need to respond to them right now. And then they take four weeks to respond. So it's like, it's like you have to find your sleep space and everything that you're doing. So I kind of allow myself time to respond. Um, that's a boundary that I set. I do a very good job of not taking anything personal. I don't think you should do that in business. Um, you'll be out of business very fast.

SPEAKER_02 30:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:51

So I try to do a very good job of not taking anything personal and try to hear people for what they're saying. I try to take the facts out of the situation and understand that maybe I didn't like the delivery, but what was the fact here?

SPEAKER_02 31:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:04

Um, and then outside of that, I make sure to treat myself and make sure to have fun. Uh early on in this, I didn't do that. And so I had burned myself out. So now I try to make sure I treat myself, I'll take myself to eat, I'll go get my nails done, I'll I'll go to a party class, but making sure I'm also taking care of me so that way I can keep continue to do what I'm doing because I'm serving so many people at the same time year-round.

SPEAKER_00 31:30

So and it's really important. One thing that I discovered when I was you know going through my health challenges is that I I've never been a multitasker, but I've always compartmentalized. And I think that you can actually get more done when you compartmentalize because you're stacking and everything. Uh but I never turned it off.

SPEAKER_01 31:48

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 31:48

And so uh now I'm at a point where I don't have a problem turning off the cell phone. I don't have a problem turning off the computer. Right. I don't have a problem looking at an email and saying, I'll take care of that tomorrow morning. Right, right. Um, because my mental health is so very, very, very important. Right. Um, so one thing that a lot of people know, but one thing about what they know that they don't know. So a lot of people know that I ran for city council uh last year. What they don't know is you were part of the campaign team.

SPEAKER_01 32:20

That's what they don't know.

SPEAKER_00 32:21

That's what they don't know. You are a driving force. I know the audience is like, girl, you did what about one of your most successful successful years in uh fostering dreams. So one, thank you for that. Yes. Uh but two, uh, you know, I was experiencing health challenges during that whole entire campaign. And so uh this person that I am today would never do that again because although I was compartmentalizing, I was doing a lot of things and it was driving my health down. And so um as I said, mental health is very, very, very important. So as we kind of transition this conversation and really get into the journey uh of fostering dreams and the Valerie Mitchell um the version you are today. So, what do you do or how do you protect your mental health beyond turning off your phone or beyond setting boundaries?

SPEAKER_01 33:16

For me personally, the type of person I am, everyone's different. I sit alone, I do things alone. Um like going to the movies alone, like I love me some alone time, like because I am just always with people or helping people, serving people. So if I realize that I'm getting to a space where I'm not about to be myself, um, I'll spend a lot of time alone. Okay. To just ground myself, figure out why I'm feeling this way. I'm not really a person that likes to go sit and talk about it. That's not my stuff. So I'll spend that time alone, address my emotions, figure out why I'm feeling this way, just really sit there and think through things, and then slowly do some things that'll bring me back to who I know that I am. Um so that's how I treat what I'm going through. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 34:06

Okay. So with fostering dreams and the you know, you're you're dealing with foster children and they are coming from a variety of situations, a variety of environments. When you first meet a child and you're bringing them into uh the foster fostering dreams family. Right, right. How do you approach them? You know, the mental part of it, seeing that you you have an understanding, sometimes it's direct, sometimes it's indirect, but no matter what, you have an understanding of what they've gone through. Right.

SPEAKER_01 34:41

So what I do is I always kind of channel and make sure that I'm being a person that I wish I had while I I had I was in foster care. So when I'm approaching them, I just um kind of just go, hey, how are you doing today? Like, what's your name? What do you like to do? Just really learn about them. Um and just let them know that I want you to have a good time today. Like any foster you that I talk to, anyway, I want you to have a good time today. If you want 10 toys, take 10 toys. If you want 45 slices of pizza, take 45 slices of pizza because in every other area of their life they're being told no, they're being limited, which of course, with time, you there's some things you need to be told to know about.

SPEAKER_02 35:21

Right.

SPEAKER_01 35:21

Um, but they're being told no about things that children that are not in their situation are not being told no about. And everything that we do at Foster and Dreams is to enhance and increase normalcy. Um, so I just make sure that, you know, when I'm with them, that they understand they have my undivided attention. I'm not on my phone, I'm not rushing off, I'm not like hanging and moving around. Like I spend that time with them. I hug them, I hold their hand. Um, if they ask me any questions, I'll say, hey, you know, I was in foster care too. And the faces that I see light up when I actually go so far as to share that, like they're just joyful after that. Like they feel, like I told you, feel safe, a sigh of relief. Like, okay, she's just not someone on the outside looking in. Like she understands what I'm going through. And she she took her time to do this for me.

SPEAKER_03 36:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:11

And I hope that, you know, when they get older and out of their situation, they they say, I want to go do exactly what she's doing. And with that, we're gonna, you know, save a lot more false for you.

SPEAKER_00 36:20

Yeah, yeah, that's beautiful. How do you define healing?

SPEAKER_01 36:23

How do I define healing? Yes. That's a good question. I would define healing as, hmm, I really don't know, actually. But it's just getting to a space where one, you have to know that it's okay not to be okay. I think that healing is ongoing. I think the mistake that humans can make is thinking, okay, I spend these three weeks like this, then boom, I'll be fine for it, and so on. And that's not true. Healing is ongoing, it is up and down, yeah. And you just have to be willing to do the work. That's what I think about healing.

SPEAKER_02 36:57

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:58

Like, don't sit, don't understand that something's wrong or something's broken, and sit in a, well, that's just the way I am, or something like that, because then nothing's gonna get better for you.

SPEAKER_02 37:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:10

Um, I always use the phrase hurt people, hurt people. So just get to a space where you're not hurt about it. You can be sad about it. Um, or if you are hurt about it, make sure that you're not that hurt person hurting other people. Understand what hurt people and how they respond, and at minimum try not to respond how hurt people respond while you're still healing.

SPEAKER_02 37:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:31

But as far as healing, it's just doing the hard work. Healing's not easy. Doing the hard work to get yourself to a space to where you can interact and engage with others without hurting more people.

SPEAKER_00 37:44

Yeah, yeah. See, and I like that. I like that statement because uh, you know, I'm from the mindset or I have the mindset that we are never healed. Right. We are always in a state of healing. And so we move from one space to the next space to the next space, but it's all about identifying what is holding us back. Right. Uh the other thing that I discovered when I was going through all my health challenges, you know, I've I started out praying, please let me live. Right. You know, please let me wake up, please let me go home. And I discovered that no, that's empty.

SPEAKER_02 38:15

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 38:15

So I started praying for peace. No matter what it was. You know, it's like I gotta go to the doctor, okay. I'm I'm praying for peace today. Right. And so I like what you said about when it comes to to healing, because hurt people do, they they really do hurt people. But if you find that someone is at peace, what do they give? They give peace. Right. And I think that that's one of the beautiful things about false from dreams because what you're doing is identifying a need.

SPEAKER_02 38:42

Right.

SPEAKER_00 38:43

Okay, so now we're gonna take it all the way back to 11 years ago. Okay, and the mental health of Valerie, I get stuff done, Mitchell, at that particular point in time. Because if you wanted to give up, or if you thought, man, the support's not here and you're 11. And when you're attempting to get this this uh uh foundation off of the ground, right? What was the first thing that made you want to give up?

SPEAKER_01 39:10

No money. No money. Um a lot of people have probably have no idea really until you know, well, last year helped us a lot, but um, I have always used my own money. Yeah. I have always used my own money. There are donations and they help, um, or they may may help us break even at best.

SPEAKER_02 39:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:33

But, you know, looking and seeing you have no money, and then if you ever get to a space where you personally don't have any money to also fund this journey, that will immediately make you give up. And there was one time where that happened, and then I was like, well, I guess, like I just said last year, I guess this is the end of thing.

SPEAKER_02 39:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:52

And then I had to be willing to um be flexible and adaptable.

SPEAKER_03 39:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:58

And I started this very young. I was like a 20-year-old or a 21-year-old when I started this. And I will say I used my age and where I was in life to help me with ideas. Um, so I threw parties. Like I'm I'm a college kid. A college kid is not just gonna come give me money.

SPEAKER_02 40:17

Right.

SPEAKER_01 40:18

But they're gonna party.

SPEAKER_02 40:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:19

So I started throwing parties, you know, um, and networking, and I'll never forget the nines in Deep Ellen, which is still there today. I I contact them, I reach out, and I'm like, hey, what I do is I host parties and raise money for my charity that serves foster kids. And that is where we raise so much money, almost close to $10,000. Like outside of the grants that we got, that is where I raise the most money for fostering dreams. And of course, I don't do that anymore. Um, but I never raised a lot of money like I did when I started to do that. So instead of saying, well, we're not getting any money, these foster, I mean, not these college kids or these people around me don't want to donate, you have to be willing to meet people where they are. You don't have to lower your standards in a sense or expectations or tarnish your name. Because I don't believe we did that at all. At best, more college kids and more people who would have known nothing about serving foster children know about it now. Because yes, did we did we party? We had a grand old time. Um, but at some point the party always stopped. I always got on stage and I explained why we're here, what the foundation does, and taught them how to get involved. So you're not just partying, you're still gonna basically get a word by the end of this. And I'll never forget again working with the nines. I think I got to work with the nines and deep elements on two occasions, and they were like, Yeah, you can have the door like all night. And it wasn't just I didn't rent the place out, and it's only people that maybe heard about it through me.

SPEAKER_02 41:43

Right.

SPEAKER_01 41:43

Anyone who was coming to party at the Nines and Deep Elm, they gave me the door for that whole night.

SPEAKER_02 41:48

Really?

SPEAKER_01 41:48

So when you think about that, that's very powerful. And and to know that I hope I can inspire people to share your story. It might be hard but share your story.

SPEAKER_02 41:57

Right.

SPEAKER_01 41:57

Um, the owner was a foster kid of the nine.

SPEAKER_02 42:00

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_01 42:01

So to then end up learning that he was a foster kid and he he resonates with this so much so that he's like, Yeah, you take the door on the nights that you come.

unknown 42:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:08

So we got to throw like three parties there and again raise close to $10,000 um through throwing parties for young people to come have fun, but hear a little bit about what we do.

SPEAKER_02 42:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:20

And and um that really t showed me that I'm kind of blessed to be innovative. Um and years later I end up getting an award for being innovative, but not getting not getting upset that I'm not getting the support I want, but basically going out here and taking what I know I deserve and what foster kids deserve.

SPEAKER_00 42:40

Yeah. What's the hardest part about serving others? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:44

What's the hardest part about serving others? You know, that's a good question. I would for me personally, I've done it so long, it doesn't bother me, but I've seen other people serving, and then I've seen feathers get ruffled.

SPEAKER_02 42:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 42:56

When you're serving others, you have to check yourself and figure out why are you serving. Like, are you doing it for the the clap from someone else? Are you doing it because this is your mission and you know that this is what God expects of us. You know, um, good job, well done, faithful servant. That's what the Bible says. And what we see often in a lot of environments where I go serve is you you could be serving someone and they might, I don't want this, or uh, or you know, their response might not be admirable to say the least. Right. It is if you're serving for the right reasons, that won't bother you at all.

SPEAKER_02 43:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:34

You know, you'll just, okay, well, whatever, you'll you'll try to work with them, right? Um, but there's some people who will go toe-to-toe with with the person they're serving, or you'll you'll get a nasty attitude as well. And I'm like, uh, that's not our job here. So I I like when I'm hosting events and everything, I always do a good job of saying, understand why you're here. Remember why you signed up. There will be upset people here today. It's our job to Still respond with love, to respond with care, to let them know that we love them. Right. And if if they want to switch it out and we're able, switch it out. It won't be the end of the day. So you have to know the root of why you're serving. So that way when those situations happen, there's not been an event where I haven't seen it happen.

SPEAKER_00 44:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:18

You don't respond incorrectly.

SPEAKER_00 44:20

Yeah. Know the root as to why you're serving. Can I put that on a t-shirt? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:25

You know, I need my I need my commission.

SPEAKER_00 44:28

2%, 2%.

SPEAKER_01 44:29

Yeah, I need my part. I need my part.

SPEAKER_00 44:32

Growing up being a musician, being a creative, then transitioning to different things in creative space. I always had one important rule, my number one rule, really my only rule, separating church and state. Meaning what I do on the creative side will never meet what I do on the corporate side. I always kept them separate. And it was easy because they didn't necessarily need one another to support one another. Right. Okay. And only now I'm, you know, now that I'm doing the podcast, am I kind of revealing some things? Right. And I was talking to someone not too long ago, and they were like, I didn't know that you, you know, you were a musician and you did this and you were on tour and you were. I was like, it was intentional. Right. You didn't need to know. You didn't need to know. So the question I have is separating the identity of Valerie Mitchell from the identity of CEO, philanthropist, coach, superperson. All of those things.

SPEAKER_01 45:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:37

How do you keep it separate?

SPEAKER_01 45:39

That's a very good question. I believe that I one, anytime I'm out outside in public, I am going to carry myself as CEO, this and that, because you just never know who's watching. Right, right. Online, that's how I carry myself. But if if I'm at family dinner or this or that, I'm just gonna be myself. But I've also got into a space in life where who I am at family dinner is who I am all the time. Yeah. So I've later in life, I've gotten to a space where I really don't have to separate the two because I'm like that 24-7. I've learned how to be professionally goofy, because we all like you know how goofy I can be. Um so now I've learned a professional level of goofy, you know.

SPEAKER_02 46:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 46:28

Um, and it wasn't always that way. And so I would just say that if anything, just find a where you could always be yourself but and be happy with that. So I wouldn't say that I I don't um shape shift. Okay, you know, did I used to when I was younger and I wanted to be 21, 22, and 23, um, that is probably where that's more prevalent.

SPEAKER_02 46:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:55

But then I had to have a come to Jesus meeting with myself because, you know, cell phones are a real thing, videos are a real thing. And and I I've always me personally, I've always been somebody to plan for the future.

SPEAKER_02 47:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:07

And I literally will always have a uh mindset of I don't want to do anything today that's gonna block DCO magazine, nonprofit of the weird, but nonprofit of the year ballet.

SPEAKER_03 47:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:16

So I just stopped doing a lot of things very young, and I was okay with the sacrifice. Unfortunately, people get in these roles and they don't want to sacrifice. Yeah, you're gonna you're gonna have to sacrifice.

SPEAKER_00 47:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:24

And I was okay with doing that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:26

Because the sacrifice turns into the commitment. Right. The commitment is underwritten by discipline.

unknown 47:32

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:32

And so I'm a firm believer in discipline, commitment, like okay, ruin all this where we're where we are today for a fun night. I'm gonna tell it just didn't matter for me personally. That's not everybody's story, and I respect that. But for me, I'm just gonna not do it.

SPEAKER_00 47:48

That's cool. That's cool. Now I want to uh move away a little bit from fostering dreams. I want to talk about this volleyball thing.

SPEAKER_02 47:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 47:55

But I have a specific, you know, area that I want to talk about because coaching in any sport is extremely important, except for MBA. But anyway, that's a bad story. Okay. The NCAA tournament is going on now.

SPEAKER_01 48:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 48:13

March Madness. March Madness. Yeah, yeah. March Madness. And you know, once I my daughter, Renee, once she came into my life, men's sports, it kind of took a backseat and I started paying more attention to women's sports. Then you were coaching and all this other stuff, and I came to some of your volleyball tournaments, got hit in the head one time, and I still didn't understand volleyball. But that's beside the point. My thing is that what I've discovered in not only women's basketball on the college level, but in the WNBA is that men are coaching women. But what I don't see in men's college basketball or men's professional sports or women in head coach positions for men. Right. I know that you, well, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that you also coach a boys' team, right?

SPEAKER_01 49:10

Yes, first time ever at my school, I am the head men's volleyball coach.

SPEAKER_00 49:15

Okay. I look at that as an opportunity to redefine strength in a sense. But let's get into the why. Why is it that it's okay for men to coach women? Right. But it seems as though we're in some outside universe for women to coach men.

SPEAKER_01 49:34

Why do I think that is? I think that there, I think that there's a lot of conversations that need to be had and a lot of biases that need to be called out. Um and I think that when we could, as we continue to move on, if we continue to set these environments where in men's professional sports and collegiate sports, women aren't being invited to the head coach's position, what is that saying about what you and your program believe about women and women in leadership? Um what is the underlying message? Because now we're because why not her?

SPEAKER_02 50:11

Right, right.

SPEAKER_01 50:12

Why not her? She you could put two people on the same, the same two coaches on the same screen saying the same thing, same delivery, but why won't you listen to her? Yeah, yeah. So now you we have to get have more tough conversations, more TED talk, start calling people out.

SPEAKER_02 50:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:26

Why, why couldn't it be Don Staley?

SPEAKER_02 50:29

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:30

You know, absolutely just as qualified.

SPEAKER_02 50:32

Yeah, yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_01 50:33

Um, so I think that it's also gonna take, if in my opinion, from where I say, it's gonna take men calling out men.

SPEAKER_02 50:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:41

Because you're gonna hear you women already say it.

SPEAKER_02 50:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:44

And it's uh, oh girl be quiet, or the ladies are at it again. That's that's what's going on right now. Men have to call out men on this. Yeah. And and and push for a change. That's what I think.

SPEAKER_00 50:55

Yeah, yeah, and I totally agree. And and going back to Don Staly, who's my favorite uh basketball coach, even though I don't follow basketball. Right. But I know that she uh she did an interview or she was interviewed for the New York next job, and she said that, you know, it was it was never their intention to hire a female because the minute they start losing, they're going to look at the fact you're a female.

SPEAKER_02 51:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 51:21

Okay, so you being a woman coaching uh young men, okay. Because in a lot of uh situations, the coach is you know the mentor, the the parental figure, uh the therapist, so many different things. Right. Do you have an approach um that you use for men or for young boys compared to when you were exclusively coaching females?

SPEAKER_01 51:49

That's a great question. Something that I did before when this was brought to me, I immediately um reached out. Like, never be a person that thinks you know what you're doing. I could have been a person who felt like I know what I'm doing. I've coached volleyball for 17 years, I don't need nobody help.

SPEAKER_02 52:06

Right.

SPEAKER_01 52:06

Um, that is not what I did. I immediately started reaching reaching out to male athletes that I knew, male coaches that I knew, and I literally start asking for advice because I'm not I'm not someone that's too good for advice.

unknown 52:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:18

So I'm like, what do how do men like to be coached? You were a male athlete in college. What did you like to hear from your coach? And I literally just started gathering details and insight from all these different people. Right. And then I took that, put it all together, and that's how I approached my boys' team.

SPEAKER_02 52:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:35

Um, and in my opinion, you know, if they watch this later, y'all can let me know. Um, in my opinion, I think is going well. I believe that fundamentally they're the same. Especially we're because I'm we're talking about high school kids.

SPEAKER_03 52:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:50

I'm pretty sure maybe fundamentally collegiate and professionally it's not the same. But when we talk about at the high school level, fundamentally it is the same. I think that the boys had the same feelings that the girls have. They display it differently. Um, the boys had the same insecurity that the women have. Again, they display it differently. Girls might get quiet and um, you know, kind of shy away from things. Boys will start yelling at each other when when their insecurity is flared up.

SPEAKER_02 53:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:19

Um, and so I've truly enjoyed learning the different cues. That's something I've had to learn and I vulnerably share with my boys on day one. Um, hey, we're all gonna be learning each other here. I said I haven't coached a group of young men on a serious competitive level. So we have to have a a dialogue. Like, what are some things that you all would like? What are some things you wouldn't like? And I'm not this is not for me to tell you that I'm gonna do what you say. I'm just listening. And if I'm if I think that's a good idea, okay. Um, but this is don't let this conversation, don't let this us having this conversation make you think everything you just told me right now, that's what I'm gonna do.

SPEAKER_02 53:56

Right.

SPEAKER_01 53:56

Because that's not the case. Um, so I just think that logistically and yeah, logistically, the boys and the girls are the exact same. Um, and I've trained my girls up to like hear information a certain way. So I don't really, I personally don't have to change it. There are some coaches that will say you gotta truly kind of butter the girls up or you know, something like not even butter them up, but you gotta say it a certain way. Whereas in my gym I don't. Because I tell people all the time, we have to get to a space that we all want to be better. Feelings cannot be here. And that's like a rule in my gym. Feelings are not on your shoulders. Let me allow me the space to say what I need to say so we can all get better. Yeah. So I get to talk to the boys the same way I talk to the girls, which I know that's not the case in a lot of gyms where people have to flip.

SPEAKER_00 54:43

Right.

SPEAKER_01 54:44

Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:46

Okay. So we're getting close to the uh to our the end of our time. Wow. No. And what I like to do towards the end of every podcast is play a little game. It's called this or that. It's really, well, it's really called this or that, but I tried changing the name the culture check. Okay. People I saw that.

SPEAKER_01 55:05

I saw that.

SPEAKER_00 55:06

What culture check? What? So this or that, and you said earlier, this or that. You know, I call that. Okay. So I don't know if you're familiar with that song. This or that.

SPEAKER_01 55:15

No, I'm not.

SPEAKER_00 55:15

You can get with this, or you can get with that.

SPEAKER_01 55:17

Oh, okay, okay. So you should live with that.

SPEAKER_00 55:19

Well, I couldn't live with engine engine number nine.

SPEAKER_01 55:22

Nah, nah, nah, nah. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 55:24

So here we go with uh this or that. Serve or spike.

SPEAKER_01 55:29

Ser, I am a great server. I can rack up points with serve.

SPEAKER_00 55:34

Okay. Captain or silent leader.

SPEAKER_01 55:37

Ooh, captain or silent leader. Like, are you asking what I would like want to be, or do what do I think is more beneficial for a team?

SPEAKER_00 55:43

Both.

SPEAKER_01 55:46

I would love to be a. Oh, that's a terrible question for a coach. Why would you do this to me? I love both of those. I think teams need both.

SPEAKER_02 55:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 55:56

Um, me personally, I would never just woke up and said, I want to be captain. Was I picked to be captain? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 56:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 56:02

Um, so I would, I'm gonna say both now. I'm changing the rules. Okay, okay. Both is fine.

SPEAKER_00 56:09

Okay, practice or game time.

SPEAKER_01 56:12

Practice. I believe the way you practice is the way you play. Whatever you're gonna do at practice, you're gonna do in a game.

SPEAKER_00 56:17

Okay. Win ugly or lose best.

SPEAKER_01 56:21

Ooh. That's a good one too. I would say lose best. That's where you really grow. That's where that hunger and that determination really kicks it up. That's true. That's true. It's like, oh, oh, because you when you feel like, oh, I'm right there, and that just happened for the boys' team. Like they lost to the team they just beat last Tuesday. Yes. They lost to him on Friday night.

SPEAKER_02 56:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 56:44

And then we got in there, and it was our prep versus your prep, and we could tell that that prep was different. For them, our prep beat their prep, and that feeling was. I don't know if you got to see the video or unbev if you did. Um, but you know, that video, it would you could see, hey, we lost Beth Friday night, but then three days later, boom.

SPEAKER_00 57:06

Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, I come from the the school of thought that you don't reach the highest point of your potential until you give everything you you have and you lose. I mean, and once you you have that feeling, you have to make a decision. Right, yeah. Am I going to stop here or am I going to pick myself up, re-evaluate, and push through? And I think that's what I gotta keep going. You gotta keep going. You gotta keep going. Okay, so uh chemistry or chaos? In what regard volleyball, life. Oh, chaos.

SPEAKER_01 57:45

Oh no, I'm gonna I don't want chaos. I am not a chaos person.

SPEAKER_00 57:49

I'm all about and what I mean by chaos is the team dynamic. So you have some teams, you know, they they they work well with chemistry. Um that chemistry gets them to a championship. But you have some teams where they don't like each other and there it's chaotic because when you go into the locker room, people are either on their phones or in their corners or whatever. Right. Okay, but they figure out a way to win.

SPEAKER_01 58:16

Yeah, that's a good question. I think for me, I personally prefer chemistry.

SPEAKER_00 58:22

Okay. All right, and here's a pyramid for you. It's a little bit different than this or that. But trauma, guilt, fear, expectations, or past. So in a pyramid, where where would you place those things? Trauma, guilt, fear, expectations, past.

SPEAKER_01 58:43

With just remind me, the top being the most prevalent.

SPEAKER_00 58:47

No, there's no top, there's no bottom. It's just when you hear what's what's the what's the first thing that kind of jumps out at you? What out of trauma, guilt, fear, expectations, past, what would keep you up at night?

SPEAKER_01 59:01

Expectations.

SPEAKER_00 59:02

Yeah, I see expectations right there with that.

SPEAKER_01 59:05

Expectations. Yeah. Yeah, no doubt about it. Um guilt, I don't, I don't really like, I'm very particular about what I'm doing, so I really don't put myself in situations where I would have to feel guilty later. Even like I'm no perfect human. Um I mix assignments, or I do this or that, but I already come to terms with what the consequence of that would be. I don't feel guilty about it. I knew what I was doing.

SPEAKER_02 59:32

Um, so oopsies, you know, moving on now.

SPEAKER_01 59:35

Well, what what do I need to do to make this better, you know, next time, but I'm not gonna feel guilty about it. I don't do things that make me put me in a guilty state.

SPEAKER_02 59:41

Right.

SPEAKER_01 59:42

Um trauma, I I wouldn't say my trauma keeps me up, but do I think about it? Like it's kind of do you how much do you think about it? Um, I think about it and I have to re-evaluate myself often, annually, quarterly, whatever the case may be. Because, like we said about healing, it's a here, like one day I might be okay with what happened to me in foster care and where I came from, and the next day I hate the world. But why on earth would you do that? Um, you know, so being okay with that emotion as well, and figuring out like what okay, when you're in the I hate the world, you need to go sit by yourself.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:17

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:17

You know, and that's like where I'm at in this whole thing. Go sit by yourself until you don't hate the world anymore. You know, and and that's okay. So that's kind of how what I feel about trauma. Um, did you say discipline?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:30

No. No. Guilt, fear, expectations, or your past.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:35

I don't, I don't do that fear thing either.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:37

You know, like what are you scared for?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:39

Look, you can't be fearful of, you know, when you're getting stuff done.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:42

No, you gotta you gotta get after it. You know, what are you scared for? I don't believe that you should let fear hold you back from anything. Fear means you're not trusting God. God wouldn't bring it to you if he couldn't, if he, if God wouldn't bring it to you if he didn't think you could do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:54

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:55

Right. So that's what I stand firm in. I haven't been scared of anything, and I'll get anxious.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:02

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:03

And it's just like, did I, did I get everything done on my to-do list? Like, and I'll just get anxious, like, because I'll get in a human space and want it to be perfect. Yeah, but then I had that conversation with God. Like, no one asked you to make it perfect.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:15

Right, right.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:16

They just asked you to do it. You know, so I have very, you know, I be checking myself all the time because I, you know, that's the kind of conversations that go on in my brain.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:24

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:24

Um, so I'll get anxious about those kind of things. I'll just get anxious that, you know, I'm not huge on speaking. Right. Um, believe it or not.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:33

Yeah, I was gonna say you could full bit.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:35

But every time I go have a speaking event, you know, everyone says it goes well. So um, but I'll get a little nervous or anxious before speaking because I don't um some people may or may not know I do have ADHD. So the way I'm the way it is up here, I don't know if that's how it's coming out of my mouth sometimes. Right. And so um just learning how to speak, how to make sure I'm not talking in a circle about it, did that make sense type thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:59

So those are the things that make me anxious. But fear, scare, no.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:02

Okay, okay. I definitely appreciate you coming out. Um but before we get out, before we get out, how can people find you, your foundation, donate, socials, any and everything that folks need to know?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:19

So you can find me on one of the two websites. You can go to valerymitchell.com and that's V-A-L-L-E-R-Y, valerymitchell.com, and that's for people who want to know more about my coaching, private training, um, and just kind of, yeah, volleyball, fully volleyball-oriented. Um, if you want to learn more about the foundation, you can go to fosteringdreamsdfw.org. Make sure you put an S on dreams. Um, and that's where you'll learn more about the foundation and all the work that fostering dreams is doing. You can follow us on Instagram as well, fostering dreams underscore foundation. Um, again, if you're a volleyball person and you're having a good time on here, it'll be Coach Mitchell underscore VB. Um, and then yeah, just come hang out with us. We're always accepting volunteers. We always need help. We always need donations. So if you're watching this and you're like, I want to help her, yes. Go to the website, click donate, just let it rain, you know. Um, and yeah, come hang out with us. We're trying to launch more events for foster youth. So for a few years now, we've been in a space where we've only been able to do one event a year. Yeah. And I am very determined, no matter what, that this year I'm doing more than one. So definitely reach out, figure out how you can get involved. We're launching our belonging hangout initiative, where we're getting out here and hanging out with the kids at least once a quarter.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:42

Okay, okay. That's beautiful. Well, thank you, Valerie. I get stuff done, Mitchell.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:47

Well, thank you, Uncle Earl.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:51

And with that, we're out.