Mr Monk Goes on Vacation

Monk takes a vacation — and by that we mean he wears a beige suit on the beach for about ten minutes before getting pulled into a murder only Benji witnessed. This week we’re unpacking one of Season One’s most charming episodes, where the real detective work is split between a kid with a telescope and a hotel security guard with a toothpick habit. We dig into invisible labor, insider trading, and the cleanest crime scene in television history. Sharona looks pretty cute in her tennis outfit too.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:04

Hey guys, welcome back to I Don't Give a Shalou, a Monk Rewatch Podcast. I'm Jen. I am Abby. It's so good to see your sweet face.

SPEAKER_01 0:12

How is your sweet face?

SPEAKER_03 0:14

Oh, my face is fine. No, my face is good. How was your week? Anything to report? I did not monk at all, but I did get up every day, which I didn't want to.

SPEAKER_01 0:25

So guys, sometimes like every day is a little bit of a monking. If we're saying monking is going outside of your comfort zone, like, dude, I got up, I did an errand, I managed to just get through the day, and all of that was outside of my comfort zone.

SPEAKER_03 0:41

I got rid of some books, which is very hard for me because all of my books are both trophies and friends and potential adventures and lovers. And I say goodbye to some of them this week because we need to declutter.

SPEAKER_01 0:56

Decluttering is such a great feeling.

SPEAKER_03 0:58

It it really is. They say if you're experiencing depression, one simple thing you can do is get rid of 27 items and it can shift you energetically. And I don't know the science behind that, but I've heard it. And when I do feel heavy laden by life, I notice if I can get rid of even just crap. You know, certain things.

SPEAKER_01 1:21

I could probably do it pretty easily because if we're talking about crap, I got a lot of it laying around. I could look around my room right now, guys. We podcast in my living room, and there's probably 27 things we could grab right now, but back on task.

SPEAKER_03 1:35

It's not hard for me either. And I just certain things like eye patches, you know, the ones you put under your eyes for wrinkles. Oh, yeah. I buy them and I never use them. And having to admit to myself, you just don't do this, so why don't you put it in a box for a neighbor? Because we have kind of a community area where we put stuff that's still usable, but we don't use. So if you're feeling low, try to get rid of even five things. Imagine your space is full of your stuff and you just need a little more breathing room. So make that room.

SPEAKER_01 2:08

27 things. It's not that hard.

SPEAKER_03 2:14

Who? Monk.

SPEAKER_01 2:15

Adrian Monk.

SPEAKER_03 2:16

Love that segue. That's so good. And with that, are you ready to hear about his adventures for this week?

SPEAKER_01 2:23

I so am ready.

SPEAKER_03 2:25

This is one of your particular favorite episodes.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

I love this episode.

SPEAKER_03 2:29

It was good. I enjoyed it. It was season one, episode nine. Mr. Monk Takes a Vacation.

SPEAKER_01 2:34

The opening scene, guys, is perfect.

SPEAKER_03 2:37

I stuck with the basics for this because I want you to pepper in your paprika of details.

SPEAKER_01 2:44

I'll do my best.

SPEAKER_03 2:45

The scene opens on a stunning tree-lined beach. Monk and Sharona are sunbathing on loungers. Sharona wears a cute little bikini and Monk a full braid suit and jaunty sun hat.

SPEAKER_01 2:55

Can you just imagine it? It's a beach. She's in a bikini. He's in a full suit.

SPEAKER_03 3:01

The only addition is the hat, which is a good hat. It's a detective's kind of fedora. And sunglasses, but he's got his loafers.

unknown 3:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:10

I mean, he's there's no change. Monk sighs deeply. I think I'll go back to the room. Without even turning her head, Sharona says snidly. Yeah, you don't want to burn. Then frustrated. You've been out here for what, ten minutes? What happened to the bathing suit I bought you? I'm wearing it, Monk tells her. Underneath. You're not even gonna try, Sharona pleads. I am what I am, Monk says placidly. Well, you do what you want, Sharona says, returning to a sunbathing position. This is my first vacation in three years and I'm going to make every moment count. I tried doing that once, Monk said. Making every minute count? Gave me a headache. Just then, Benji runs up from the water. Hey mom, you owe me an ice cream Sunday. Ah, Sharona nods, conceding. Benji explains to Monk, We had a bet. Mom said you wouldn't even come outside once. Monk serenely looks to his nurse. Ha, oh ye of little faith. Sharona just laughs. Benji turns back to the ocean where a jet skier is whooping and hollering, zipping all over things. So before we get into what happens next, jet skiing is on my bucket list.

SPEAKER_01 4:15

Really?

SPEAKER_03 4:15

It is something I want to do desperately. Have you ever done it?

SPEAKER_01 4:18

No, and I have absolutely no desire to do that.

SPEAKER_03 4:21

Are you kidding? Really?

SPEAKER_01 4:23

Yeah, it's just looks like dangerous and how could it be dangerous?

SPEAKER_03 4:28

You fall, you go into beautiful water.

SPEAKER_01 4:30

You fall at high speeds.

SPEAKER_03 4:32

Maybe.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

So, guys, I paddleboarded once and it was perfect for me. I had this feeling of freedom and it was gorgeous out. But then This was when we were in Lake Tahoe, right? Yes. The winds picked, and all of a sudden I was like being pushed out into the middle of the lake. I had to use my arms and get myself back towards the shore. And it was scary. This is before I got sick, but still I didn't have like enough muscles to do it. So I loved the stand-up paddle board, but it was scary. And I think that's enough water sports for me.

SPEAKER_03 5:09

That was my next question. What would be your water activity bucket list thing? There you go, I'm done. But jet skiing, you wouldn't even need to use any muscles. Just sitting up.

SPEAKER_01 5:19

Yeah, that's enough for me.

unknown 5:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 5:21

All right, good conversation. Well, Benji is unlike you. He's more like me. He's like, Mom, can I go jet skiing? I think he's too young to jet ski.

SPEAKER_01 5:29

Maybe behind someone.

SPEAKER_03 5:30

Yeah, absolutely. Sharona doesn't even hesitate. No, it's too scary. That Sharona's decisive no, Benji's like, no, it's not all the other kids. But Sharona interrupts him, not for you, for Mr. Monk. That's so unfair to the kid. I love that. Monk's fears should not impact his life. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 5:49

My mom's fears impacted my whole life.

SPEAKER_03 5:52

That's true. Me too. My mom wouldn't even go to the place when we would go camping. There was this really cool nature-made pool. It was so amazing. We would jump off the cliff into the water. My mom wouldn't even go because it scared her so I have never done a big jump like that. I've never done one since because I actually jumped out. You're supposed to just drop, and I jumped out and almost hit the other side. I remember scraping along and just being like, nope, never again. Never again. No.

SPEAKER_00 6:19

Totally.

SPEAKER_03 6:20

You're right. Monk is a nervous mother. Mm-hmm. Okay. Disappointed Benji wines. There's nothing to do. I remember being that kid on vacation too. We're finally there. And then just staring at your parents, going. And being a nanny and being annoyed, being like, we're at a park. Go play. Can you play with us? No, we're here so that you will go entertain. This is Sharona grabs something from her purse. Here, here's a quarter. Look at the telescope. Benji's all of us looking at his mom as if she's the lamest human with the lamest ideas. The telescope, big whoop.

SPEAKER_01 6:53

Now, I think we have to bring back Big Whoop. Oh. Because I haven't heard it in quite a while. So, Benji, big thumbs up.

SPEAKER_03 7:01

I love that. You're right.

SPEAKER_01 7:03

Big whoop. I'm gonna start saying it all to you.

SPEAKER_03 7:06

Yeah, you got croissants, big whoop. Are you excited to go see Phantom of the Opera? Oh, big whoop. We're going to dress to the nines. No one look at us, but man, we're gonna look good.

SPEAKER_00 7:18

Everyone else will be in like jeans and a sweater, and we're gonna be in our like fancy dresses.

SPEAKER_03 7:23

It's the Phantom of the Opera. I cannot wait. That was the first play I ever saw in eighth grade. I've never seen it.

SPEAKER_01 7:31

Oh my god, I've seen it four times. As a musician, I have played pieces from it, like the trumpet part, but I have not seen it. So I'm really looking forward to it.

SPEAKER_03 7:41

It's one that truly cannot be transferred to movie form. You have to see it live. So Benji slacks shoulderedly makes his way over to a wooden deck where the telescope must live. Sherona turns to Monk. Do you have any lotion on? Monk shrugs. Come here, she orders, and Monk leans in so she can dab sunscreen just on his nose. Benji puts a quarter in and looks through the telescope. He points it towards a tall hotel tower. Hey, look, I can see our room, he shouts. Then he moves to a corner suite. And there I can see Mr. Monk's room. Which one? Sharona asks. The first one, the one he couldn't stay in because it smelled funny. Benji tells her, rolling his eyes. Benji turns back to the telescope where he sees two people. It looks like they're fighting. The woman slides against the window, leaving streaks of blood, then slumps to the floor, taking the curtain with her. Mom? Benji gasps. Sharona looks over worried. What? But Benji is speechless. He can't articulate. He looks around in disbelief, and Monk takes notice. Benji, what's wrong? What's wrong? Sharona repeats, but all the little boy can do is gasp.

SPEAKER_01 8:44

I love this opening. It is short, far shorter than our discussion of it. It is funny. It is so well written. I agree. And it's easy to follow. Of course, it has murder. And then cute opening music.

SPEAKER_03 8:58

I always loved when shows went on vacation.

SPEAKER_01 9:00

When the tanners went to Disney World or Hawaii. You know, everyone went to Disney World because ABC and Disney merged and it was part of the contract. Seriously? Yeah, that's why everyone went to Disney Full House, the Connors, you know, everyone went.

SPEAKER_03 9:15

That's good to know.

SPEAKER_01 9:16

Yeah, nice factoid.

SPEAKER_03 9:18

Okay. In a busy hotel lobby, we see tourists milling about. It's crowded. I have a flight to catch. Do you know what time it is? A harried man asks a hotel concierge. Amidst all of this, next to a large photo op showing a part of a boat and a few trunks, Sharona attempts to calm down a distraught Benji. Mom, she was stabbed to death. I really think she's dead. I know, I know, Sharona tells him soothingly. I'm so sorry you had to see that, but it's gonna be okay. Mr. Monk is gonna check it out with the security people. Look, she points behind the boy who turns. There we see Monk standing with another hairied man and a tall, official-looking woman wearing a cell phone clipped to her trouser waist. Now, let me take a moment to tell you what we're looking at here. An official-looking woman, Bronwyn. She's tall, slim. She has that Veronica Mars hair that I truly hate. Where it flips out. Yeah, like Jordan Sullivan from the first season of Scrubs. It's Bob flared, edgy, choppy.

SPEAKER_01 10:12

Well, you know, it was really easy for that to happen if you brush your hair while you're blow drying it. It happened to me all the time and it wasn't what I wanted, but I didn't know how to get it to flip under. It makes pretty women ugly.

SPEAKER_03 10:24

It's so bad. But Bronwyn doesn't know me and seems to like it. It does add a don't mess with me vibe that works for her.

SPEAKER_01 10:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:33

Bronwyn is pretty dark-haired and excited. She also kind of has a. Did you ever watch Glee? Yeah. So you know Sue, the cheerleading coach. For sure. She kind of has that something about the mannerisms of that actress. Yeah. Like I can't verbalize it, but that's her body language, everything is very lynchian. The hried man facing Bronwyn is shorter than the other two. He's mid fifties, I'd guess, with a bald pat and grain hair on the sides and back. He has grim heavy brows and a petite mustache perched right above his annoyed little frown. Miss Bronwyn, this is not a penitentiary. You have to let these people go. Bronwyn pulls out a toothpick from between her lips. I'm gonna let these people go, Tony, as soon as we check out room four hundred one. But Tony doesn't have time for this crap. Do you know who's in room four hundred one? he asks indignantly. John Fenimore, the COO of the third largest brokerage house on the West Coast. He brings his staff here every year for a conference. Turning to Monk, Tony continues, how do we know the boy didn't just make it up? Oh no, Monk says seriously. He's a good boy. He doesn't lie. All children lie, Tony sneers. He's got that mid-Atlantic the Mr. Feeney, I call it. Oh. It's not British, but it's like maybe he went to British boarding school. Proper American. Like the Crane brothers, Fraser brothers? Well, of course you'd say that. You're his father. I'm not his father, Monk argues back. His mother works for me. Bronwyn jumps in here to make introductions. Tony Lander, this is Adrian Monk. Adrian is a former homicide detective. At this, Tony's eyes widen a little. Bronwyn continues. I just talked to his captain in San Francisco, and he says No no, she says in Frisco.

SPEAKER_01 12:23

Oh, you're right. Makes me no one says Frisco.

SPEAKER_03 12:26

We also don't like Cali either, just so you guys know. Well, I have known people that live here that say Cali, but they're Oh no, but you're not from here. Growing up in high school, we really judged people that would say Cali because it was like clear that they're not from here.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

You know, I'm from Chicago, so it's I'm not actually from Chicago, guys. I'm from a suburb on the north border of Chicago. And sometimes people who are from Chicago are like, are you really from Chicago or are you from a suburb of Chicago?

SPEAKER_03 12:56

And now we know the truth. Check your phones now for a location map. We're gonna drop the pin now. Bronwyn continues. I just talked to the captain in Frisco, and he says we're lucky to have him. But Tony could really care less. Miss Bronwyn, these people are on vacation. Bronwyn looks over the milling crowd. Okay, Tony, I'll tell you what. Why don't you let them go and then you can tell the victim's family and the police why you let the murderer go? Fine, Tony Huffs. Check it out as discreetly and quickly and discreetly as possible. Monk leans forward, adjusting Tony's lapel. You said discreetly twice. Exactly, Tony agrees, readjusting what Monk adjusted. In fact, I'll say it again. Discreetly. Upstairs, Monk and Bronwyn approach a woman vacuuming in the hallway. Mitsi, Bronwyn calls, trying to get the woman's attention. Mitsi! Then she stomps the vacuum off.

SPEAKER_01 13:47

She's like, yo, pay attention.

SPEAKER_03 13:50

Mui importante, she says in like really broken, kind of obnoxious Spanish. Yeah. Did anyone leave room 401? Mitzy shakes her head. No, ma'am. Okay, go in there. She points to a different room. Close the door and be very quiet. Bronwyn mimes locking her lips and throwing away the key. Bronwyn's such a dork. Her whole thing is very cinematic. It is very Lynchian, but also it's like she thinks that she's being filmed, which she is. But it's like everything is very cinematic, overplaying. It's funny. She's a funny character.

SPEAKER_01 14:27

I'm letting on her dorkiness too early because I've seen the episode too many times. You're gonna enjoy Bronwyn.

SPEAKER_03 14:34

One thing they said was they loved this actress, but they had a hard time figuring out. Monk and her get along so well, and they really do become a good team. But where does Sharona fit in? I like that Sharona gets to do her own thing. I loved that. Monk and Bronwyn walk to the double door at the end of the hallway. Rapping twice, Bronwyn calls, Mr. Fenimar, could you come to the door, please? Hotel security. Monk presses his ear to the door as Bronwyn pulls out a pistol. That escalated quickly. Then she starts miming and hand signings and instructions. Then nods. What? Monk and I ask. She tries again, miming with hand signals, but it's not clearer. You want me to go in backwards? Monk asks. No, no, Bronwyn narrates her hand signals again. On three, I go high and you follow me. Okay, okay, Monk agrees. Then happily, Bronwyn swipes the side of her nose with her thumb. I have something on my nose? Monk asks. Oh no, Bronwin explains. That's from the sting. What sting? Monk whispers. No, the movie, the sting, Bronwin explains, swiping her nose again. They were always doing this. What does it mean? Bronwin swipes the key card. I don't know, she whispers. But I do. Would you like to know? The gesture is the con man's signal that the con is on. So you swipe your nose. That's an actual s signal from back in the day. And everything is going according to plan. It's essentially a secret. We're good, stay cool. So we can put that in along with Big Whoop and our new things. We're good, stay cool. Okay, they say. One, two, three. The two forcefully enter the room. Well, Bronwyn does. Pointing her gun around with a cowering monk behind her, she yells, Hotel security, anyone here? But there's nothing. It's gotta be the wrong room, Bronwyn guesses. But no, Benji pointed it out. He said fourth floor, last room on the right. They're looking around. Do you see anything? Bronwyn asks. It looks pretty clean. Monk bends in half as he does his investigating. No, nothing, not a thing. He's confused. Bronwyn holsters her weapon. In a soft voice she asks Monk to tell her about Benji. Monk straightens, continuing to look around. He's a good kid. He he wants to be a writer. He d draws comics. Bronwyn watches Monk a little skeptically. Mr. Monk, all due respect, I've seen crime scenes, and this ain't one. Just then a middle aged man enters the suite. What the hell? he cries, taking in the intruders. What the hell? Uh mister Fenimore, how you doing? I'm Rita Bronwin, Hotel Security. She's apologetic as she also introduces Monk. There's been a report of an incident in the room. What sort of incident? Fenimore demands. A fight, Monk tells him, looking Fenimore full in the face. But Fenimore is unruffled. No fight here. Someone made a mistake. When did you leave the room, sir? Monk questions. About an hour ago. Fen squints. And where did you go? Fenimore is annoyed now. He walks toward Monk. Down by the lake, I've fed some ducks. Monk continues, with your wife? Nope, alone. Bronwyn enters the chat. And where is your wife? Bronwyn answered. Very nice. Thank you. She drove into town to do some shopping. When did this incident supposedly occur? About 15 minutes ago. And I was like, that's pretty fast. This took me two hours to get to the channel.

SPEAKER_01 17:55

I know it is ridiculous. It has to have been like more than 15 minutes. No one moves that fast. It would have taken me 15 minutes to go from the place where they had that little telescope or whatever it was called and get back to the hotel.

SPEAKER_03 18:08

Exactly. It's taken us three hours to get to this point in the podcast.

SPEAKER_01 18:14

Testing our mics. You guys have no idea what we've been through. I don't want to talk about it.

SPEAKER_03 18:19

Well, then it couldn't be Irene, Fenimore tells them. She called me on my soul just now. Should I take a moment to describe Fenimore? Yeah, I feel like he's a nothing burger and won't add much else to the plot. Yeah, he's just a white guy. Yeah, that's what I wrote. He's white and boring, nothing spectacular, original, or upsetting to report. He looks like a businessman from the early 2000s. He's beige.

SPEAKER_01 18:42

Yeah, that's that's about it.

SPEAKER_03 18:44

Monk isn't done with this khaki man, though. You and your wife are having problems, sir? It's more of a statement than a question. Fenimore doesn't deny, asking instead, why would you say that? Monk does a nice bit of monking here.

SPEAKER_06 18:57

You're not sleeping in the same room. There's a travel alarm on the end table and some slippers under the couch.

SPEAKER_03 19:02

Fanimore is impressed. You're a very clever man. You're a very clever man. You are very clever. He becomes Latin all of a sudden. He says to Monk, Yes, we had an argument we made up this morning. Then, turning to Bronwyn, says, Twice, if you know what I mean, with a little gross wink. Yeah, gross. And we all know what you mean, slime ball. Bronwin's a little grossed out too. Redirecting, she asks Fenimore to have Irene call the front desk when she gets in. But Monk's not done yet. Sir, do you happen to have a picture of your wife? Fenimore goes to grab it. In the next scene, Monk shows Benji a picture of a blonde woman. Irene, we can assume. Is this the woman you saw? He asks. But Benji's like, I don't know, maybe. Sherona runs up looking like a little tennis snack in her little tennis outfit. Yeah, she's so cute. Benji, wait here for one second, okay? Monk and Sherona move away. What did you find? She asks. Zilch, Monk says, shaking his head. It was the cleanest room I ever saw. Sherona is shocked because she knows her boy is not a liar. Really? But Monk doubles down. I'd stay there. And I said, Isn't that weird in itself? If Monk would stay there, it must be immaculate, which is weird. But the killer wouldn't have had time to clean up in 15 minutes, would he?

SPEAKER_01 20:17

Yeah, they really screwed up with the 15 minute time. Yeah. They should have said it was like an hour. It's very, very quick.

SPEAKER_03 20:26

Sharona just says, Wow. Then looking seriously, Adrian, I have to say this, but maybe he did make it up. Sharona and the rest of us are very much like, how dare you? Mm-hmm. Why would our sweet good boy do such a thing? To impress you. Maybe he's just trying to get your attention. The camera slides to Benji, who really isn't that far away. You're talking about me, aren't you? He demands. Then facing them seriously in a very Sharona manner, doubles down. I saw what I saw. And Monk's like, yeah, he saw what he saw. Okay, Sharona concedes. You two have fun playing cops and robbers. I'm still on vacation, and I'm gonna play tennis with somebody. You meet a friend? Monk asks. She nods. Yeah, you should try it sometime. And there he is. She looks past Monk to a middle-aged guy trying on sunglasses in a gift shop. He's also beige.

SPEAKER_01 21:19

Yeah, no use describing him. He's just another white guy.

SPEAKER_03 21:23

He could have played Fenimore, Fenimore could have played him. There's nothing exciting about either man. Hey, she walks up to her new friend, Monk close behind. Hey, new guy greets her. I was just about to call your room. Then he belts out, My Sharona. I bet you get that all the time. Sharona's like, no, first time.

SPEAKER_01 21:43

No, she's nice about it. She she's not like sarcastic. She's like, no, first time. Like I know. She was trying to be sweet. Well, she's not being honest here.

SPEAKER_03 21:54

Monk rolls his eyes hard. Yeah. Like he got himself a headache with how hard it was. Sharona introduces both. Monk and Benji. Newguy quickly says hello, then turns back to the task at hand, picking out sunglasses. They do some dumb flirting, and both Monk and Benji are unimpressed. Newguy pays for his sunglasses with a check as Sharona tells Benji to keep an eye on Monk. In the next scene, we see our girl killing it on the tennis court. Fun fact, Biddy Shram got a full ride to the University of Maryland on a tennis scholarship. Whoa!

SPEAKER_04 22:25

So she's actually playing.

SPEAKER_03 22:27

So you look the same very nice. But our Sharona isn't playing very hard. As she lets the balls fly past her, she smiles. Good shot. The camera moves to the boys walking past the court. Mom could have gotten that shot, Benji tells Monk. Do you think she's letting him win? I wouldn't be surprised, Monk confirms. Why do girls do that? Benji asks, exasperated. Someday you'll understand. And then tell me. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 22:54

And when you do, call me and explain it to me.

SPEAKER_03 22:59

It's cute. They both grin at each other.

SPEAKER_01 23:02

I love the monk and Benji dynamics.

SPEAKER_03 23:04

I do. I really do. Now, I want you to tell me exactly what you saw, Monk orders the boy. Okay, Benji agrees, and they return to the telescopes. Monk looks through it. Do you see anything, Benji asks? Monk squints. No. Looks as clean on the outside as it is on the inside. Then Monk tips the telescope up a bit with his forearm. And who should we see now? But a one, Mr. Fenimar, talking with a curly haired brunette. The woman is wearing a pink silk dress and his hand is holding her elbow. They're giggling. They're close. There's intimacy. And unless Irene got a recent perm slash die job, that is not his wife. We can't see her face, Monk tells Benji, but that is definitely not his wife. And I just said that, Monk. Benji, can you read lips?

SPEAKER_01 23:50

And he says, I love this line. I can barely read words.

unknown 23:55

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 23:56

I'm in sixth grade or something, right? Yeah, I'm in sixth grade. I can barely read words. He is so cute, and it's just it's a good line.

SPEAKER_03 24:03

It is, it's a great line. Back in the lobby, Benji spins a raffle tumbler, which I had to know what it was called. What? The tumbler, like that they use for bingo and stuff. He's spinning the raffle tumbler. It's called a tombala.

SPEAKER_01 24:20

Oh my god, this is better than baklava. I know. Balaklava. Both words are good. In case you are new to the pod and have actually made it this far. Um, balaklava is one of our vocabulary words from previous episodes. Kathy has jumped on it and I just think it's great.

SPEAKER_03 24:41

It's a great word. You're right. But so is tombala. Tumbala. That is what Benji's messing with. While Monk uses the payphone. He's talking to Disher, who's back in San Francisco at his desk. Dish holds up a printout. John P. Fenimore, he says, yeah, he's a big fish. Chief operating officer for Marin Bay Investments. Makes a lot of money for a lot of people, Monk. Monk listens, thinking. Oh, here's a red flag, Dish continues. He was indicted three years ago. A domestic thing. A fight with his wife got out of hand. She dropped the charges the next day. Disher takes a big bite of a sandwich. Would you like to tell me what this is all about? He asks. I think this time he might have killed his wife, Monk tells him.

SPEAKER_01 25:22

Where are you staying, Monk? The Bates Motel.

SPEAKER_03 25:25

Good. Good Disher joke. No, Monk chuckles, but I have a feeling this place is run by the same company.

SPEAKER_04 25:33

It's just so funny. What? What makes you laugh is fascinating. Well, yeah. That line, I have no idea what's funny about that line. The baits notes out. I know. That's funny. It's not. We are so different. You are head thrown back, abandoning yourself in. She's got tears at this line. I don't understand. It's funny. It's a chain of murder hotels.

unknown 26:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:17

I mean, that would be, you know, like murder, you don't like psych. Okay, never mind.

SPEAKER_04 26:22

I just like to laugh, guys. No, that's good.

SPEAKER_03 26:24

So do I.

SPEAKER_04 26:25

It's one of my favorite.

SPEAKER_00 26:26

My arms hurt from laughing.

SPEAKER_03 26:29

But that is another Hitchcock reference, and I'm pretty sure Breckman and the writers must love Hitchcock because Was there another one in this episode? No, not in this episode, but it in the Mr. Monk and a Billionaire, the killer is seen leaving the theater at a Hitchcock festival. Oh. And I clocked it because I was like, is this going to be an extra suspenseful? Yeah. I think they just leave Brad comes to Hitchcock saying, We love Hitchcock. That's all. And this is another one. Just then, Tony exits the elevator flanked by four cleaning ladies in yellow. She can't just quit, Tony snaps at the lady closest. Her boyfriend called from Buenos Aires, the lady explains, shrugging. But that's not acceptable, Tony huffs. We have Labor Day around the corner and we're at full capacity. She can't quit now. At this, all four women begin arguing with him in Spanish. They're talking over each other as Bronwyn and Monk walk up. Is there a problem? Bronwyn queries. Lupe Olivencia just quit, Tony tells her. Then turning to the women, we ought to give them a gold watches after three weeks. I'm not sure what that means, but this statement brings another onslaught of Spanish. The women all speaking over each other. Raising his hands in surrender, Tony tells them, Basta, tu calmaste. Alright, Mrs. Garcia? Everybody does double shifts and I'll pay the overtime. Did you look up what that means? No. Basta. To calmeste means like calm down you or whatever, I would think. Oh. Rude. The women smile satisfied and walk away. Now, what's going on? Tony asks them both accusingly. Nothing, Bronwin tells them. The doors are open. People can come and go as they please. Well, how magnanimous of you, Tony says snottily. But, Bronwin continues, we still have to search their bags. Why? Um, hello, duh, Tony. He's going to try to dispose of the body, Monk tells him, but Tony's like, what body? Mrs. Fenimore, obviously. Losing his patience, Tony deep breathes. And your theory is based on what? Benji witnessed a murder. And I saw Mr. Fenimore flirting with another woman. Tony snorts. Most likely his assistant. Her name is Nicole Young. She comes with Mr. Fenimore and his staff every year. Monk looks away, so Bronwyn takes over, putting a hand on Tony's shoulder. She gets all pally. Tony, remember last Christmas when the jewelry was stolen? You didn't listen to me. I believe you were reprimanded for that. You have one hour. Bronwyn's belt phone starts ringing, so Tony says the rest to Monk. After an hour we go back to normal, or what passes from normal around here. Are you happy now? And he says, I'm never happy. Yeah. And to me, love you guys, love you. How can you watch a show where the main character is suffering this openly and everybody laughs?

SPEAKER_00 29:24

Sorry.

SPEAKER_03 29:26

I have no hesitation watching this show. He says he's never calm, he's always ashamed, he's never happy, and we all just it's the saddest thing.

SPEAKER_01 29:38

He is happy. He's exaggerating. He's hyperbolic. Okay. It's okay. Okay. He's okay. Okay. When he says I'm never happy, he is happy. He you see his relationship with Benji. Obviously, there's a connection and elements of happiness there. You see his connection with Sharona, same thing.

SPEAKER_03 30:00

To me, I just think his OCD is claustrophobic.

SPEAKER_01 30:04

Yeah, I understand that too. But he is fictional, so we can just in this world he's okay. He's okay. He's okay.

SPEAKER_03 30:13

I have to tell myself that whenever I see an animal on screen in a fictional show, going, it's not real. It's not real. It's okay.

SPEAKER_01 30:20

Not real. Not real.

SPEAKER_03 30:21

It's okay. Monk is okay. Okay. So he says, I'm never happy. And then I might have to stay an extra day or two until we get this sorted out. Impossible, Tony shakes his head vehemently. Quite out of the question. We're overbooked as it is.

SPEAKER_01 30:36

With that, he huffs away. I mean, Tony has like stick up his butt. Oh yeah. I haven't used that phrase in a long time, but I think it is apropos. Oh. Apropos. Apropos. Apropos. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:49

Bronwyn rejoins Monk speaking into the phone. Copy that, we're on our way. Monk, they're heading to her room. Bronwin and Monk run to the elevator. They're running a lot in this. It's really funny how cute and intuit they both are. It's contagious. Like how excited they both are. We only have one hour. The music picks up speed as Bronwyn and Monk race to Fenimore's room.

unknown 31:11

Mr.

SPEAKER_03 31:12

Fenimore, sir? Fenimore and the lady in pink turn to face the detectives, smiles falling instantly. We got a couple questions for you, Bronwood tells them, fishing out a notebook. Can it wait, Pink Dress Snitz? The Hong Kong markets are about to open. Oh, is that what they're calling it now? Bronwin smirks to Monk, who looks seriously at the assistant. Actually, ma'am, the Hong Kong market is closed today. Rutro. It's a national holiday, Liberation Day.

SPEAKER_01 31:40

I mean, Monk is very intelligent, but do we think that Monk is gonna actually know how to do that?

SPEAKER_03 31:45

He's getting up every day and studying. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Open the door, would you, ma'am? Unless he has a photographic memory and he read it somewhere once. Maybe he read the news this morning. Okay. Yeah. Or he'd learned it once and he just knows what day it is and knows that this day is exactly. I'll give it to him.

SPEAKER_01 32:02

I'll give it to him.

SPEAKER_03 32:03

I don't know. Open the door, would you, ma'am? Bronman orders. We can talk inside. They all move into the suite, but before they get in, Fenimore gets all up in Monk's face. What the hell is this about? He whisper yells. Unruffled, Monk tells him, I am 65 to 70% sure that you murdered your wife. Fenimore glares.

SPEAKER_01 32:24

That's a really high percentage, Monk.

SPEAKER_03 32:26

It really is, based off of Very little info. Nothing. Yep. So Fenimore glares, then heads into the suite where a group of people shout, Surprise! Monk and Bromwin are flabbergasted as they take in the crowd, the balloons, the cake, and the wife. Yes. Fully humiliated, the detectives slink away, but not before Monk mumbles, uh, happy birthday. Uh happy birthday. Later that night, Sherona is getting ready in front of a mirror when Benji is giving her some facts. Miss Bronwyn was a detective too, just like Mr. Monk. And you know what? She has a shoulder holster. Really? Sherona murmurs, moving to open a drawer. On her way she looks at what Benji is drawing. Ooh, that's good. Is that a new one? Yeah, Benji confirms. It's um it's called Captain Invisible, he says, showing her the superhero. Sherona nods impressed. I like it. Then leaning to kiss, Benji tells him, I'll be back around ten and you're gonna stay with Mr. Monk tonight, right? Yeah, he confirms. We're just gonna go to the arcade. That should be fun. Then insecurely she asks, Benji, how do I look? He looks her up and down. Different. Good, that's what I was going for. And she does look different, but great.

SPEAKER_05 33:49

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 33:50

In all black, a nice bit of cleavage. Her perfect curls are swept up on one side. She really looks beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 33:56

I noticed that she straightens her bangs a little bit, yeah. A lot, you know, a lot of curly girls go through a phase where they have their curls and then they straighten their bangs because they just don't know how to frame their face.

SPEAKER_03 34:06

She gives him an excited smile, but Benji isn't so thrilled. Mom, what? She sprays herself heavily with body spray. You believe me, don't you, about the lady getting killed?

SPEAKER_08 34:16

I uh I I've been thinking a lot about that, and maybe you were just using your imagination like you do when you're drawing your comic books.

SPEAKER_07 34:24

I wasn't. Why don't you believe me? Hey, look, Benji. There's no body. It was a mistake, and that's a good thing because it means nobody was really hurt. Mr. Monk believes me.

SPEAKER_03 34:38

That's right, he does, and I believe you too, little Benj. I do too, Benj. In a different hotel room, Bronwin's on the couch as Monk slides into his suit jacket. So what? You giving up now? she accuses. Nobody's given up, Miss Bronwyn. Oh, you can call me Bronwyn, Monk continues. I just I just need to look after the boy for an hour or two. I can see it now. She holds up her gun, swinging it around. I'll be all alone in this. Then, Mr. Monk, would you like a toothpick? I like them minty.

SPEAKER_01 35:08

She's such a weird character. She's like trying to embody all the detective stereotypes. All of the tropes, yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 35:15

At his no she pushes. You sure? They're individually wrapped. He's like, okay. He loves it, anything individually wrapped. He moves to her and they both put a toothpick in their mouth as a solo saxophone whines. Did you check out Fenomorph's room again? Monk asks. From top to bottom. It's clean. It's like an operating room up there, she says through gritted toothpick. I even rented one of these things. She moves to the couch and picks up a big light, Spectralite, infrared. I wrote, Is this hungry cop the killer? I wonder. Just boredom. She commits the crime so she can solve it. I feel bad for her. She shows Monk the device. She's so excited about this murder. It's like she might be committing crimes in order to solve them. So anyway, she shows Monk the device. It checks for 14 different bodily fluids blood, saliva, semen. Monk cuts her off. Like, okay, okay. Also, I don't think that's how those lights work. Really?

SPEAKER_01 36:12

Yeah, they You mean specifying?

SPEAKER_03 36:15

Yeah, they pick up the certain They just pick up the specimens, but the fluids.

SPEAKER_01 36:21

Yeah. And they highlight them. I mean, I I shouldn't talk.

SPEAKER_03 36:26

I mean, I'm having to suspend a lot of my disbelief, so I just don't think they pick up certain fluids.

SPEAKER_01 36:32

I think they they pick up a category of Yeah, I agree. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 36:37

If it did, then when she put the light on, they would all be different colors. Otherwise, how do we know what's what? But they're all the same colors. Is that what you're saying?

SPEAKER_01 36:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:47

Okay. Sure. Good. Well, how does it work? Bronwood slips off the light and shows Monk how the lights work. The red glow reveals all kinds of nastiness. Different size spots, fluids, glow from everything. The walls, chairs, bedding, even the lampshade. It's vile. Which makes me wonder why is Fenimore's room so clean? No hotel room is that clean. Like an operating room. As more and more splotches are revealed, me and Monk are coming apart. The poor guy is going to have to sleep in a Ziploc bag from now on.

SPEAKER_01 37:22

So I use dictation when I take notes when I watch the episode. And I was just bursting out laughing. And the dictation, in case you didn't know this, will take down your laughter. And so there's a bunch of the ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Like it just has H A over and over again because two lines. Because I was laughing so hard. It's just so great. The way he's like, oh, oh, oh.

SPEAKER_08 37:50

I would be too. It's horrible.

SPEAKER_01 37:53

Love it.

SPEAKER_03 37:54

When Ben and I went to Oregon this past January, we stayed in a lot of motels, and those are not going to be better than them.

SPEAKER_01 38:01

Can we play it? What? Can we play his reaction? Ready?

unknown 38:08

Oh god.

SPEAKER_06 38:11

Turn it off, please.

SPEAKER_00 38:12

Sorry, my laughter isn't supposed to be in the background. I just he cracks me up.

SPEAKER_03 38:17

Yeah. The best part of this is Tony Shaloub. He's an incredible actor. Yeah, he's fuckily really, really is. I understand why he won so many awards. So Monk pukes his toothpick out in his hand and then says, I think I'd like to switch rooms. Bronwyn tongue clicks apologetically. We're all booked. That was mean, B. Mean. I wrote that. Monk calls the cleaning team from before and demands slash bags for them to deep clean everything. And he'll pay whatever. Bronwyn casually pats him on the shoulder. Don't worry, partner. They're a team of experts and heads out. Sharona and her date are sitting in a fancy restaurant. I don't get it, Date says. He's your boss, right? I'd like to keep calling him Date, but since we're having dinner, I might as well learn his Christian name. Say hello to Sean.

SPEAKER_01 39:10

Oh, do they give him a name? Yeah, his name's a few.

SPEAKER_03 39:12

I never even pick it up. They don't say it. It was one of those like where I had to use the You looked it up in like the cast right there.

SPEAKER_01 39:19

The cast list. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:20

Sharona confirmed sipping a cocktail. So why do you go on vacation together? Because I don't have a choice, she explains. The last time I tried to go without him, I had to come home after two days. Was he ill? No, no, no, no, no. It was just a garbage strike. The bags were piling up on the street. He was almost catatonic. But Sean's like us and doesn't know. He chuckles. So it's like a marriage. More like a bad marriage, she agrees, taking another sip. So, uh, have you ever been married? Me? Sean says. Oh no, I'm allergic to rice. Did you know what this meant? I think it has to do with like white on rice. No. No.

SPEAKER_01 39:59

I don't even know what white on rice means. Like white on there's a phrase where it's like stuff like white on rice and it's a commitment. Oh. Like white, white on rice is like they stick white it rice is white. You can't separate it.

SPEAKER_03 40:16

Well, I looked it up. Apparently, it's something people say, it's because they threw rice at weddings.

SPEAKER_01 40:22

Oh. But that is so much. No, I love I love your thought process. White on rice is an American idiom often used in the South, meant to be extremely close to, focused on, or persistent with someone or something. That's exactly what you said. So inseparable and attachment. Yeah, I got it.

SPEAKER_03 40:42

Sean is allergic to rice. Sean. At this, Sharona throws her head back and laughs. Fake laugh, a pity giggle. In the next scene, Bronwyn is creeping down into a basement alone. There's steam emitting from a machine, and she's got her fluid finder at the ready. Fluid finder? She sees some blood on the floor and moves deeper into the room. The whole time her mouth is wide open. Like a gape? A gap? It's a gape the whole time. Which I was like, that's an acting choice. But you can't be surprised the whole time. She's catching flies. As she rounds a small curve, a dozen or so large pipes fall, and she dodges, and they just miss her. Like they were aiming for her. In the arcade, Benji tries to feed in a wrinkled bill into the change maker, but no dice. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 41:37

It's a good pun. Because oh wait, it's not. I was thinking dice and dimes, and they're not the same thing.

SPEAKER_03 41:48

Okay, here. Monk says, fishing in his jacket pocket for his wallet. He hands Benji a crisp bill. Whoa, Benji exclaims, taking the bill. How do you keep it looking like new?

SPEAKER_06 42:00

Hand wash, no bleach, tumble dry, medium-hade, cool hair.

SPEAKER_03 42:03

He really launders his money. The bill goes in smooth like hot nut like a hot knife through butter, and the quarters fly out. One rolls under a game machine, so Benji bends down to grab it. While down there, he also pulls out a pair of broken glasses, with like missing one of the arms. Is that right? Temple. The temple? That's what they're called. Oh, okay. Thank you. I wasn't sure. Ben and I didn't know. No, I know. I knew some smart rung. Benji holds him up, his eyes huge. She was she was wearing glasses. Who? Monk asks excitedly. The woman you saw? Yeah. Benji nods. Like these? Benji squints to remember. I think so. This is stupid. Everyone wears glasses, but I'll go with it. Yeah, sure. Okay, Monk says, opening his pocket for Benji to place the glasses in. I'm going to find Bronwyn. Will you be okay for a few minutes? You'll stay right here? Yeah, okay, Benji agrees. Just take the boy with you. Monk hurries to find Bronwyn only to make his way into the restaurant where Sharona is dining with Sean. An announcer welcomes the crowd back to comedy night and introduces a comedian. Here we get a real uncomfortable scene, one that like this situation I've always dreaded. Have you ever been called out at a comedy club? I have never. Same. But that's why I don't sit up in the front row.

SPEAKER_01 43:25

I am always ready to take a violent response if a comedian ever calls on me. I'd be like, go F yourself. I mean, don't you dare make fun of me.

SPEAKER_03 43:37

I love I want to be you when I grow up. My reaction would be exactly like what Monk does. It would be shutting down internally and just kind of laughing along, even though I was dying inside, which is what happened. Monk is at the bar asking the bartender to call Bronwyn. As he stands there, the comedian starts commenting on the heat of the day, then about a funny man he'd seen that day on the beach. The comedian scans the cream. Crowd and then, surprised, shouts, There he is. The spotlight swerves to Monk. Ladies and gentlemen, today I saw that man on the beach wearing exactly what he's wearing now. The crowd laughs at Monk, who is immediately uncomfortable. What's your name? The jokester asks. Sherona, shocked to see Monk there, says, Adrian, don't tell him. But she didn't exactly whisper it, so now the comedian knows. He goes up to where Monk is and he's like, What are you doing here with the peanuts? He asks, and Monk has been pulling peanuts from two bowls, putting them on the counter. This bowl had more and I was just wanting to even them out, Monk mutters. The comedian's eyes light up. Looks like we might have hit the jackpot here, folks. Get comfy, Adrian. We're gonna be here for a while. Meanwhile, Sharona is covering her face in embarrassment. Which really upsets me. I may never forgive her for this. When she reacts embarrassed by his actions, I don't understand that.

SPEAKER_01 44:56

I you know, I don't know if she's embarrassed or if she's trying to protect the embodiment of like, oh my god, is this happening? Can someone stop it? She maybe doesn't have the thought to go and be someone who like intervenes. But this is like Sharona. If this was happening to Benji, yeah, she would get up there and intervene.

SPEAKER_03 45:21

You're right. Yeah. And reflect badly on her. The way she's side eying her date, like this makes her strange. I hate it.

SPEAKER_01 45:37

And I would say it was a writing choice because she totally in another situation could go up there and tell off that comedian. She would have. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:48

She's regularly defending Monk from dishers, side comments, and stuff. I hate when the writers stray from character. Like core, it's not who Sharona is to me, even though we've seen her do this before.

SPEAKER_01 46:01

Well, we're in season one, so I think we're seeing a lot of like, can't think of a good word, a lot of people.

SPEAKER_03 46:07

But everyone in that room, I feel, is acting badly. And maybe the strangeness and the lack of awareness about mental issues in general is playing a role, but everybody's laughing at Monk.

SPEAKER_01 46:20

Yeah, at a certain point in the past 20 years, the word bully became a big thing where it's like, we do not like bullies. We do not like making fun of people that is low, that is cheap. It means you're stupid and weak, and I'm saying that. Yeah. To any bully. And I am not really, I'm not a violent person, even though I just said I want to kill him or I want to f him up. Actually, no, I don't think I said either of those things. They were both in my head. I could feel them from you. But this comedian who's making fun of Monk, I just want to pummel him. Same.

SPEAKER_03 46:53

Luckily, we s leave this scene. And I didn't go into detail about all.

SPEAKER_01 46:56

It just makes fun of him quite a bit.

SPEAKER_03 46:58

Yeah. Back in the arcade, Benji climbs behind an out-of-order game to see if it's unplugged when he accidentally knocks the back panel off. And what or who should be there? The lifeless body of a maid. Benji curls quickly away in terror.

SPEAKER_01 47:13

We know that it has to be Lupe.

SPEAKER_03 47:16

Yeah. Well, we don't know that for sure, but it's definitely a maid.

SPEAKER_01 47:19

It sits a maid.

SPEAKER_03 47:20

We can tell by the outfits. Back in the restaurant, Monk is now on stage with the comedian. Now, this is fascinating, the comedian is saying. You keep your socks in baggies?

SPEAKER_01 47:30

I think he says, Well, I think that everyone does.

SPEAKER_03 47:33

Yeah, he's like, I don't think that's unusual. And the comedian's like, you don't think that it's unusual? Well, maybe we should ask around. Does anybody else here keep their socks in baggies? Like we already talked about, Sharona is horrified, but it's not from Monk, for herself. He continues judging and mocking Monk at the delight of the bully audience. Blah, blah, blah. Oh, and the date is also laughing. And he no longer can go to hell. He no longer gets to be called Sean. He's now date. And he'll be able to do that.

SPEAKER_01 48:01

I would have said maybe we should call him Loser. Trash.

SPEAKER_03 48:04

Yeah, trash is fine. This goes on way too long, and I'm fully angry, but thank God Benji rushes in to find his mom. In the next scene, Bronwyn, Monk, Sharona, and Benji are rushing down to the arcade. But when they get there, the body's gone. She was right there, Mom Benji shouts. I saw her. They would have had time to move the body, Monk says. And then we go to commercial break. When we come back, it's like end scene, and then the exact scene comes back, but Tony's added. It was in there, Benji says, begging them to believe him. It was the same woman you saw in the window, he asks. I think so, Benji confirms.

SPEAKER_06 48:39

Of course it was. Why go to the trouble of inventing an entirely different victim?

SPEAKER_03 48:43

Does he sound British to you or he's just very, very proper. Proper. Is he feeny or is he British? No one knows. In that s in that little clip, he sounds extra proper and British there. Yeah. Tony, Bronwyn chides. I believe him, Monk interrupts. And it isn't just Benji. Someone tried to kill Miss Bronwyn. Really? Tony sneers, unconvinced. Whoever it was wouldn't risk carrying it down the hallway. Monk looks beyond them to a door that says employees only. Who has the key to this door? He asks. The entire staff, Tony says. About 180 people. Are you thinking an inside job? Bronwin asks. Maybe it's that comedian. Wouldn't that be great? Monk says, and it really would. Let's at least frame him for something. Stupid putts. Yeah. Monk notices some white powder on the carpet. Taking a piece of paper, he scoops up a bit of the powder and he and Bronwyn sniff it. Is it lime? she asks. It's calcium oxide, quick lime. What's that, Tony and the rest of us wonder? It's used to cover up smells. Smugglers use it to fool drug sniffing dogs. It's actually good news, Monk tells Tony. Means the body's still in the hotel. So they have to keep checking every bag that goes out. Bronwyn is super excited at the prospect, but Tony, not so much. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, he says to her. Your time is up. We had a deal. Oh come on, she argues back. The deal is off, Tony. Work with us here. If they get rid of the body, we have no case. Tony looks at their pleading faces for a long time. Then I'll give you until noon tomorrow. Turning to Monkey says, You'll be checking up then anyway. Tick, tick, tick. With that, he saunters off.

SPEAKER_01 50:28

You know, Tony has a complete disregard for dead bodies in his hotel. If I were him, I would be a little bit more worried.

SPEAKER_03 50:35

To be fair, he has seen no evidence of a dead body at all. At all. And it's always been a little boy saying they saw a dead body.

SPEAKER_01 50:45

Okay. Yeah, there is that. But like Bronwyn, he should trust Bronwyn. But she's clearly very excitable.

SPEAKER_03 50:53

She loves movies. She keeps quoting like she's not the most reliable narrative.

SPEAKER_01 50:58

She was reliable about the jewelry last year.

SPEAKER_03 51:01

But I bet she's come to him with so many other potential crime sprees because the woman is itching for this.

SPEAKER_01 51:08

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_03 51:10

But anyway, Monk looks at them and goes, God, I hate it when people go tick, tick, tick. I thought that was really cute. Out at the pool, I'm guessing it's the next day because the sun is up. Monk looms over a sunbathing Sharona. The body is still here. I know it's somewhere inside this hotel, but where? Sharona groans, Adrian, you're ruining my last hours of vacation. Hello, he says, blocking her son. I'm solving her murder. And she goes, Well, do it three feet to the left. I think that's so funny. So Monk moves away, making room for Date to arrive. Well, well, he says smarmally. Here you are. They do a little sexy banter and then make plans to play another round of tennis. When Date runs off to book the court, Monk moves back in front of her, fingers laced, thinking, You like him? Monk asks. Sharona nods, smiling big. Then why?

SPEAKER_01 52:02

Is there a reason I shouldn't? Okay, and I get a callback or like this feeling from the first episode, I'm pretty sure it was, where like she goes on a date with someone and he basically dismantles a story. Yeah, he's like, he's lying to you, let's move on. Yeah, he's not who he says he is.

SPEAKER_03 52:19

But in that case, she did say, We all lie to each other. You know, let it breathe. Let me have this. She's like, Adrian, if you know something about him, you have to tell me. That's the rule. And Monk's like, I thought the rule was I should keep it to myself. Well, Sharon snaps, it's a new rule. Monk nods, face wrinkled like he's smelling something foul. Well, he uh he might be married. Shock Sharona asks. Might be or is his wife's name is Julie. Or Julia, Monk tells her quickly. It was hard to read, because the check was upside down. What check? His sunglasses, Monk tells her like it's obvious. There were two names on the check. It's a joint account. Sharona looks down, shaking her head. You know, you could be wrong. You're not perfect. That's true, Monk agrees. You were wrong about Fenimore killing his wife, she continues. Maybe you're losing your superpowers, hmm? But Monk has lost interest. He's now focused on a groundskeeper sprinkling some kind of powder on a grassy mound. What? Sharona demands. A groundskeeper. He's using lime. Sharona rolls her eyes, then closes them to the sun. Well, I think you should take eight or nine hours and check it out. So off he goes. Monk sneaks up to a large gray door, the groundskeeper's shed, we can presume. He kind of hip checks the door, but it doesn't budge. So he moves to the back, where he finds a partially open window. Stepping on an oil tanker, Monk climbs up and using his sleeve opens the window fully. He peers in, then he raises his leg. Then he lowers it. Then he raises it. Then drops it. He takes a deep breath and then flings his leg over the windowsill. This was when he monked.

SPEAKER_01 54:01

Oh my god, that's exactly what I was gonna say. I'm so proud of him when he sneaks into that shed because like he's out of his comfort zone and he's like going into a building through a window, and you can see that there are spider webs and it's kind of gross. Yep. He is monking. Exactly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:21

Even his body is like nope, nope, nope, and he overcomes it. Yep. Once in, he walks mouth open, face first, into a monster cobweb. Spitting and thrashing, he rips the clinging web from his face, causing such a ruckus the groundskeeper walks over to see what's happening. So much for stealth. Don't even think about moving, the Groundskeeper calls, then grabs the phone. Who are you calling? Monk asks. Who do you think? Security. Extension 404, give my regards regards to Bronwyn, Monk tells him quickly. Give my bra bla bra b. Extension 404, give me re That's hard. Extension 404, give my regards to Bronwyn, Monk tells him quickly. How do you know Bronwyn? The groundkeeper asks. We're working together on a case, Monk explains. Oh yeah, I've seen you with her, the ground keeper says, hanging up the phone, then offering Monk his hand. I'm Raleigh. You want to tell me what's going on? Monk demands. But Monk has more pressing matters. He tells Rowley to hold on, then ferociously rubs and wipes and brushes the webs off his face, hands, and suit. Finally, he's clean-ish. Why didn't you report it, Rowley? Monk asks. Report what? The missing bags of lime, Monk tells him, obviously. Raleigh is shocked. How'd you know about that? He asks in wonder. Then I thought I could handle it myself, he admits. How many did they take? Monk asks, observing the bags. Three. When did this happen? Sometime last night, that's all I know. Monk is still twitching, his body revolting at the ghost web remains. We've all experienced that when like you get webs on you. This is not an OCD thing. This is like a web thing. It sticks to you and you just keep feeling like you pulled it off, but it's still there.

SPEAKER_01 56:07

Oh, there's my for the episode.

SPEAKER_03 56:11

They must have used the window, and there had to be more than one person, he concludes. I think we're looking for a gang. It's because the bags are so heavy. Yeah. 50 pounds. He tells Rowley, Did they move those palette boards? He points to a neat stack of pallets sitting right under the window. They don't belong there, Rowley confirms.

SPEAKER_01 56:28

Yeah, guys, what gang have we come across in this episode?

SPEAKER_03 56:33

If you haven't figured it out, what a surprise it will be. So Monk starts scanning the shed, then squinting and thought they were short. A short gang of lime thieves? Rowley repeats wide-eyed. Monk looks straight at him. It's a nutty world. On the tennis court, Sharona is serving up Date's ass in a glass. He serves and she smacks it back out of reach.

SPEAKER_01 56:57

I didn't even think about how impressive it was, but you are right. She's playing like a professional. She is. And that's our girl.

SPEAKER_03 57:04

That's her. Whoa, sweetheart, Date haulers. Where'd you learn that one? But she's not having it. Wham, wham, wham. She's got him running and racing all over the court, then wham, right in the crotch. Sweetheart, why don't you take it easy? He tells her. Oh I'm sorry. Did that hurt? She replies hotly. Why don't you have Julie put some ice on it? He squints at her, confused. Or is it Julia? In Monk's room, Monk is bagging up his suit. Benji sits on his bed. It stinks in here, he notices. Oh, that's a disinfectant, Monk explains. They clean the whole room. He drops his bag in the trash. That's not the laundry, that's the garbage, Benji tells Monk. I know, Monk says, putting on a fresh shirt. Okay, so why are you throwing it away? He asks innocently. They were irredeemable. Do you know what that means? Uh yeah, they got dirty, Monk smiles. Exactly. And I have to ask, have you ever had something become irredeemable?

unknown 58:03

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 58:03

Let me tell you mine. Okay, yeah, you got You know, I love lending libraries. Half of my book library is from books that I've gotten from lending libraries. I was reading a book I really enjoyed called The Midnight Library when I opened one page and there was what looked like A-B-O-O-G-E-R on the page. And that was irredeemable to me. I threw the whole book away.

SPEAKER_01 58:25

Yeah. I'm really funny about library books and used books in general. I didn't used to be as a kid or as a young adult, and I have become bad about it. Yeah. I do not like to touch things.

SPEAKER_03 58:39

It's the first time where I even realized that could be a thing and that something could become irredeemable. I didn't even want to clean it. I just had to get it out of my house.

SPEAKER_01 58:50

You know, I love puzzles. And I was looking at the puzzle companies that rent. Yeah. And I was like, I could never do that because people may pick their nose or not wash their hands after they use the bathroom or something. And these puzzle companies have a sanitation process, which is amazing. Oh, they do for renting? Yeah. Oh, that's cool. They sanitize the puzzles. Wow. Okay, good. Really cool. Um, so if you ever need to rent puzzles, I love that idea. Have a brand for you.

SPEAKER_03 59:22

I've given away so many puzzles because you're not going to do them again, really. I that actually helps because for your birthday, I was thinking of commissioning someone to make a puzzle lending library in front of your house. Ah because there's one along my walk route and they get so many cool puzzles in there.

SPEAKER_01 59:39

That is so cool.

SPEAKER_03 59:40

But now I know not the gift for you.

SPEAKER_01 59:43

It's just people are gross. I mean, I'm gross, I'm sure. If someone wants my gross puzzles, I'll share.

SPEAKER_03 59:50

I don't think like that, but when there's clear evidence like that. Nope.

SPEAKER_01 59:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 59:54

How do you how do you work around that evidence? Irredeemable. Irredeemable. I didn't even I can't even think of the book without thinking of that moment. And I may never read that book even though I was enjoying it. It ruined the entire experience. You have to stop and throw it out? Yeah. Oh, immediate it had to be out of my apartment. And then I took a shower. Irredeemable. Listen, I wanted to say thanks, Benji says quietly. For what? For believing me when nobody else did, Benji explains.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:22

Oh, I love this line.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:24

I hate this line. You probably just feel sorry for me because my dad's not around. I love this line though. Monk continues to button his shirt, but turns to Benji. I don't have to be your father to believe you, he says sincerely, or to be proud of you. If you say you saw a body, then something happened here, and I'm gonna find out what it is. Benji smiles, then changes the subject. I feel like you've got something to say.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:49

Oh, I just love it. I don't have to be your father to believe you or to be proud of you.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:53

Yeah, it's beautiful. I love their relationship. I never want it to go away. Looking around, he says, I've never seen a room this clean. She must have worked all night. Well, it wasn't just one, Monk explains, putting on his nude suit jacket. It was a whole group of them, four maids. The music speeds up as Monk slows down. He shrugs the rest of his jacket on without paying attention. Then he freezes and turns to Benji. A short gang. Benji looks at him, eyes wide. The maids, Monk whispers. In the next scene, Monk and Benji open a door using a lockpit kit. Okay, just for the record, what we just did breaking and entering, Benji interjects. Monk nods. It's wrong, okay? The boy nods, yeah. And then where are we? He asks, moving deeper into the room. Maid's locker room. Do you think the dead body is in here? He questions. Maybe. It's been everywhere else. Monk scans the lockers. One is labeled Lupe Olivencia. Olivencia, he says. They were talking about her. She quit yesterday. Monk pulls a small tool from his jacket, sticking it through a hole in the locker. He pulls it open. A red jacket hangs there. Uh-oh, Monk says. What's wrong? We all ask. She never changed back into her street clothes. Then turning to the boy, Benji, could the woman you saw attacked? Could she have been a chambermaid? Benji cocks his head. Maybe. Monk walks over to a uniform hanging against the wall. Was she wearing something like this? Benji nods, I think so. Good. I mean, and I'm like leading the witness, sir, but okay. Good, Monk replies, continuing to scan the room. At least we know who we're looking for. He looks toward a far wall and cocks his head, and Benji follows suit. There seems to be something off with the tile square. They both recock their heads. What? Benji asks. That one tile, Monk responds. Hmm, it's upside down. Approaching the sink, Monk leans in and blows on the upside down tile. He grabs a couple paper towels and a butter knife, then sets to work dislodging the tile. Inside he finds two digital cameras. Monk doesn't even know what they are, so Benji tells him. That's so cute. I know. I've never seen them this small, the boy says. What's that? A screen? Monk asks. Yeah, Benji confirms. See, you can see the picture they took. Monk looks at the screen. What is it? Benji asks, and so do I, because I'm looking at it and I have no idea. Financial documents tells us. Oh, okay, that's boring, Benji complains. Such a kid response. I was too. But Monk's like, nah-uh, not to some people. Hearing voices approaching, they quickly shove the cameras back into the hiding place. And I'm like, no.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:31

I would have taken the camera. Same. But I guess they didn't know if the short gang had other tools of murder.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:39

That's true.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:39

You know. The short gang. They were murderers.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:42

Yeah. The four maids enter the room. Mr. Monk, the lead maid, Mrs. Garcia says, What are you doing here? Um, we're lost, Monk explains. We were looking for the ping pong tables. He awkwardly mimes playing ping pong as he and Benji rush to the door. The ladies are skeptical. They spot the open locker and exchanged worried looks. Monk and Bronwyn return to the locker room. Hey, Landis says you gotta check out by 4 p.m., Bronwin tells him. No extensions. Monk's like, that only gives me three hours. And she goes, 4 p.m. is quite a late checkout. He's being very accommodated. I almost wrote an entire page about what hotel is this? No one allows a 4 p.m. checkout. But that's all Clint had in Dirty Harry, Bronwyn tells him, swiping her key card. Another movie reference. And Monk's like, Rita, you've had some non-fictional police experiences, right? Yeah, sure. They enter the locker room and move quickly to Lupe's locker. Surprise, surprise, it's empty. What did you do with her clothes? Bronwin asks Mrs. Garcia, who only responds in Spanish. Monk hurries to the hiding place, but surprise, surprise, again, the tile is glued back on. When questioned, the headmaid again responds only in Spanish. What? Now you suddenly don't speak English? Bronwen swaggers over. Well maybe you'll understand this. The party is over. La fiesta es over. We're on to you. Monk nods, adding, We know you killed Lupe Olivencia. The maids sneer. And Mrs. Garcia has had enough. In perfect English, she says, You think because you're rich and white, you think you can accuse anybody of anything? But Monk shakes his head. Mrs. Garcia, I'm not accusing anybody of anything. I am accusing you of murder. Nice. Later, out at the pool, all four maids lean over a railing, watching Monk Sherona, and Bronwyn sitting at a table. I should have known, Monk tells the ladies. Fenimore's room was too clean. Who else could have pulled it off in just 15 minutes? Bronwyn removes her toothpick. They're the housekeepers from hell. Sherona's like, What? They're stealing cameras? But no, sweetheart. Stealing information, confidential financial information to be specific. Who's merging with whom? Who's about to go under? It's the perfect setup, Bronwyn tells her. We have conferences here all the time. Brokerage firms, investment companies. Who's in a better position to steal information? Monk asks as the screen fades to black and white. We see Mrs. Garcia looking at a laptop screen. She ejects a floppy disk of copied information and coolly slips it into her uniform.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:27

Guys, I want to say when I was younger and I traveled for work, I never left anything out. Smart. Yeah, never. Did you watch this before?

SPEAKER_00 1:06:39

No. I just knew not to leave things out.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:42

Yeah, that's why safes usually are the size of laptops. Oh, I never thought about that. Monk continues to narrate. Nobody gives the housekeeping staff a second thought. They're invisible, Bronwyn adds, so people hide their wallets, their jewelry, but no one thinks to hide their briefcases or their laptops. We see a maid flipping through piles of financial papers, taking pictures of each page. The maids were cleaning up, literally. Sherona's still not getting it. Who did they kill? The missing maid, our two detectives tell her in unison. Maid number five, Lupe Olivencia. Back to black and white, we see Mrs. Garcia handing Lupe a digital camera. Lupe looks uncomfortable. She probably got greedy, Bronwin guesses. Or more likely she grew a conscience than wanted out, Monk continues. We see Lupe upset, saying something to the group while they yell at her. The argument gets heated and misses Garcia stabs Lupe with a pair of scissors. So then they set to work. We watch the maids overhauling the room. It was the cleanest crime scene in the history of crime, Monk says. Back to present day. And we can't prove a thing, Bronwyn laments. Not without a body, Monk agrees. No body, no case. But it just has to be here. Just then, Benji runs up to the table. I found her again, he shouts. This poor kid. They sprint down the beach where a small crowd is gathered around a foot sticking out from the sand. Okay, everybody, clear away. Don't touch a thing, Bronwyn orders. Then, punching Monk in the shoulder, okay, partner, we got him. I'm gonna call homicide in the district attorney's office. The coroner's office, Monk adds. We're gonna need a full forensic team. But suddenly, a teen girl emerges from the sand and she's attached to the foot. How long was that? She asks her friends, giggling, and the kids run off. So it's gotta be in the hotel, Monk concludes, and they all sigh in frustration. Back at the original crime scene, they're searching everywhere. Bronwyn Monk says, if we don't find the body in the next 20 minutes, they're gonna get away with murder. Meanwhile, the four maids are huddled in the kitchen arguing back and forth in Spanish. Monk and Bronwyn check everywhere in the hotel. Catering carts, laundry hampers, they check a walk and freezer. At each stop, one of the maid watches. Finally, they meet Tony in the lobby. There's nothing I can do about it, Mr. Monk. We're completely booked. I am so sorry. Tony tells him, really not so sorry. Tony, they're stealing insider information right from under our noses, Bronwyn tells him, trying to inject him with her outrage. Monk tries harder. We are convinced that they murdered Lupe Olivencia. But Tony is unmoved. Where's your proof? Where's the body? Arms up in surrender, Bronwyn shouts. That's because it doesn't exist. Tony drives in the final nail. Now it's checkout time, Mr. Monk. You are officially trespassing in my hotel. Monk grimaces, but the case Tony interrupts. Why don't you just go home and tell your therapist all about it? Bronwyn follows Tony, not done yet, but Monk is all out of place. Shoulders drooped, he walks to Benji. Where's your mom? She's picking up some pictures. Sherona joins them flustered. This place is the pits. Missing bodies, married men, and half of these things didn't even come out. Benji looks at the pictures. Oh, I like this one. It's a nice shot of the three at them in front of the photo op. You could tell it's the first day, Sherona Huffs. We were smiling then. Let's go, let's get out of here. As they walk through the lobby, all four maids are waiting. Drive safe, mister Monk, misses Garcia simpers to him. The other's ladies smile muggly. This isn't over, he says, but they just smirk and snigger. Sherona waves a complaint card at Tony. I'm gonna mail this in. I have a couple of comments. Tony simply smiles and waves them away. And then there's Bronwyn, leaning coolly against the door. I guess you're on your own, Monk tells her apologetically. I'm gonna get him, Bronwyn promises. I bet you will. Monk smiles. Sad, Bronwyn holds up her toothpick wallet. Have one for the road. And Monk does. As they get to the car, Sharona hands Monk the photos from the trip. Monk lingers next to the car and looks off wistfully. Adrian, Sherona calls. Let it go. You can't win them all. So he reluctantly sits in the passenger seat, and the car heads off in the end. I know, it's just so sad. But what no! What? Suddenly, this car slams to the stop. The reverse lights come on and the tires screech. The car races backwards to the hotel. Monk quickly hops out of the car, wearing a bright smile, holding a photo. Sherona and Benji closely follow behind. Monk enters the lobby and casts a knowing look at the maids, who are shocked. He glides past the raffle and photo op areas, stopping quickly to straighten the sign. Bronwyn and Tony are in mid-fight but stop when they see Monk. Monk meets Bronwyn's gaze and presses a finger to his nose. So it's not just the thumb, it's also the pointer finger. Sorry. He turns to the maids and smiles, showing them the photograph. Using his fingers, Monk counts. One, two, three. And we see one, two, three trunks next to Sharona in the picture.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:02

You guys, I'm just sitting here smiling. I have nothing to add, but you need to know I have a big smile on my face.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:07

Then, without a word, Monk steps aside to reveal the photo-up area where there's a fourth trunk. The maid's reactions vary. One gasps, one covers her mouth, one shuts her eyes, but Mrs. Garcia just watches. Monk counts again with his fingers. This time, one, two, three, four. Bronwyn beelines to the newly added trunk and clicks it open. And what should they find there? Lupe. Poor Lupe's body. Tony's jaw drops, making shocked eye contact with an unflappable monk. Monk turns to Benji and squeezes his shoulder, and Sharona gives Monk an approving nod and smile. Back home in Monk's apartment, Monk and Sharona are unpacking. I don't think I can wait a whole year, Monk tells her. For what? Our next vacation. Sherona turns to him, shocked. You enjoyed that? Oh, I had a great time. Okay, for your information, that was not a vacation, Adrian. A vacation's supposed to be fun and relaxing. That was murder camp. Monk can't hear her, though. I was thinking the first week in November, there's a place in Monterey. No, Sharona cuts him off. No, no more vacations. The next time you try to make me take a vacation, I swear I'm quitting. She stops herself. I can't believe I just said that. You seem upset, Monk notices. I am upset, she hollers. You know what you need? Shut up, she tells him, walking out of the room. A vacation. Alright, that's it, you guys. Thank you so much for joining us this week.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:47

It was a good one. How are you feeling? I feel like I went on vacation at murder camp.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:52

Oh, I would love to go to a murder camp, which again, if you watch psych, you wouldn't.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:56

I'll just do a regular relaxing one with Sharona.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:00

I'll go with Monk. I really did enjoy that episode. And I enjoyed Bronwyn. I thought she was a funny one. Yeah, she's a green quirky. She actually did kind of remind me of John, now that I'm thinking about it from the inside. She wasn't absolutely not. That was her entire personality, it was made up of movie tropes and detectives. Anyway, we hope you have a wonderful week. We love you. Please adopt, don't shop. We keep forgetting to say that, but it's just as important now as it was ever before. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:30

Kathy, I love ya. I love ya. And we love you guys. Have a great week. Okay. Have a great week. Okay, bye.