Mr Monk and the Season One Wrap Up

This week is relaxed. The gloves are off. The wipes are down. We just discuss what we loved about about Season One, and a few things we didn't. We also dive a little deeper into what OCD is and some helpful ways to manage it. We end our time with a little get to know you game. Put your feet up and enjoy the episode. 

International OCD Foundation — iocdf.org — best overall resource, therapist directories, support groups

 National Institute of Mental Health — nimh.nih.gov — science based information on OCD anxiety and treatment

 NOCD — treatmyocd.com — ERP therapy information and access to specialized OCD therapists

EMDR International Association — emdria.org — information on EMDR and how to find a trained therapist

Transcript

0:03

Welcome back to I Don't Give a Chalou, a Monk Rewatch podcast. This is Kathy. And this is Jen. We did season one. We did. And we're gonna recap some things for you. I don't know. What are we doing? We wanted to, I mean, this is my first season, and I kind of wanted to just go over what I feel about it and things I've noticed. Yeah, you know, it's really interesting. I have watched season one many times, but to watch it with Jen is a whole different experience. I feel like I have kind of crawled through season one now. And uh season one was like crawling through the mud and the trenches, but then you get a big award at the end and you're like, I did it. Imagine what it's like watching TV with Ben. I mean, I'm always pausing going, now what do you think? He's like, I don't. Can we just watch this? Yeah, to be honest, we didn't watch it together. We just talk about it. If we watched it, I may not be friends with Jen anymore. Oh, yeah, this would ruin everything. Let's talk about what I loved. Jump in. Tell me what you loved. I came in because I had just watched half of the first episode and I was like, not for me. So I expected to be annoyed, frustrated. What I ended up feeling was comforted for sure. I like the music. Wait, is this at the end of episode one or at the end of the season one? End of the season. Okay. This is cumulative. Okay, at the end of season one, she's comforted. Let's go. And I liked the music. I found myself thinking very warmly about the show. Like I felt excited to dive in to a new one. So we'll just go. I loved my my number one favorite character, Sharona. Yes. I loved her. I love the way she showed up for him. She wasn't perfect all the time, but I feel like that was the writers trying to figure out her character. Like when she would get embarrassed by Monk's behavior, that didn't fit to who I thought she was at her core. I thought she was just incredible. The way she defended him, sat by him, included him. I didn't like when she would say she was gonna quit. Quite a threat. That frustrated me and I felt like wasn't good for his mental health. But again, writers. I'm thinking of Sharon as a whole person. I absolutely love the relationship between them, but like in season one and me reviewing it, I realized how dysfunctional it is. Right. Um, I think I've always known in some way it was dysfunctional, but when reviewing it, it became so crystal clear that it's weird. And it's weird because Monk is weird, not because she is weird. Yeah. And she's wonderful and she provides a caregiving situation that's custom to his needs. Yes. And as someone who also needs caregiving, like myself, I get some caregiving. I could see it's clear that they have no boundaries. If you treated me the way Monk treats her, we wouldn't have a relationship. You know? He is like horrible. He treats her both like a mom and an employee, but not really like a friend. And that bothers me. You are nailing the head. Yeah. Nail it. I nailed that. You nail her. I don't really you nailed that head. I don't, I don't know. Help me. Um, you hit the nail on the head. He dismisses her feelings. He doesn't pay her. He doesn't treat her like a friend, but he treats her like family, I would say. Yes. So it's like, I love you, but I don't necessarily like you. I love when we see him at her house with Benji. My favorite. Oh my gosh. When they are doing art projects or playing games, like when they played Clue, even though he completely ruined it. I especially love when they went on vacation together. Um, and he's with Benji. And like she completely trusts him with Benji, of course, because he's like a father. I forget what the line is. I don't have to be your father to believe you or to be proud of you. Oh my heart. It was beautiful. And Benji sees Monk completely. Like he sees that is a lot, but he really loves him. Yes. So yeah, Sharona was absolutely on my list of what I love about the show, along with Benji. And Biddy is an incredible actress. Yes. For a second I was like, well, who is Biddy? Um, she is fantastic. She's also so cute. I love watching someone with good hair. I know. Me too. And I love her accent. She's just a really fun character. So next, uh Tony Shaloub is incredible. And his acting makes the show. I feel like I'm watching a masterclass in acting when I watch him. However, however. No, no, no. I love him. He's incredible. Do I think that Michael Richards might have been a better character for this? I do. Do you know why? Because when we see him struggle with OCD, I think a Kramer character might be easier to digest. Tony Shaloub is such a good actor that all I can see is the pain and suffering. Oh. And Michael Richards would be so they mention a lot of times how Seinfeld really played a role in this. And you can see it, the callousness of Seinfeld. See, I'm not a Seinfeld girl, so there's no deep callousness. And so I mean, the final episode was them going to jail because they laughed at a guy who was being attacked. Tony Shaloube does more with his face than most actors do with pages of dialogue. Oh, very nice. He just can sell things so well. And there were moments where I forgot that I'm watching an actor. All I can see is Monk as a whole, complete person. Yeah. You know? Anyway. Okay, so something was clear to me in my recap and in each time we got together is that I float along when I watch TV. So, like right off the bat, it was clear that I do not watch TV in a detailed way. I do not focus. I'm not taking the details. So you're not watching his face, really. So I was not watching previously all these details of like Shalou doing this or that. And then it became a lot more clear. So the little details that add color to the episode, the mental health nuance. And I know we'll get to that in a couple minutes. But all the expressions that he made, like I just took it and floated with it and experienced it with it. I didn't experience pain though. I was just like, okay, this is what it is, and we're moving on. And I just enjoyed it. Right. And that's fair enough. I think that's what it's supposed to be. But he took it as I'm going to embody this character. He's wonderful. He's incredible. Next, I loved the humor. I thought there was some really incredibly funny parts. Dialogue is great. Oh my God. Think of the asylum episode. The humor on that episode with the guest stars combined. John, I'll never get over John. Oh my gosh. So funny. Oh my god, Jen, we didn't talk about how we mocked this week. Shoot. Guys, we just have to interrupt our flow. We have to interrupt our flow and talk about it. Talk. Tell me. Well shit. I don't know. Mine actually does go into an OCD episode I've been struggling with. So I'll leave it in my OCD section. Okay, I'll go now. Yay. I left the house yesterday, which I do a couple times a week. And my mom and I went to PetSmart to volunteer with an animal rescue, and it was a cat adoption event. And normally we have adult cats. And adult cats are very scared and uh uncomfortable at these events because they're like, what the hell's going on? This is very scary. But we had multiple kittens at the event yesterday. And kittens are kind of like, what's going on? But they it doesn't matter because they're so tiny, you can pick them up and play with them anyway. So I just got to play with kittens. That is so fun. And it's kind of like just having dopamine in your hands, and like you could just sniff the dopamine and touch the dopamine and cuddle the dopamine. So I did that yesterday. And wait, that isn't really outside of my comfort zone. That is like creating a comfort zone. You had to get out of your house to go, but then you were so deeply rewarded. Yeah, I was deeply rewarded. It's perfect. Yes. I just think you guys should all know about that. That was a great how did you monk? Oh, speaking of going through, I was listening to a couple of our older episodes prepping for this, and I use monk as a verb twice. The monk that we do, which is overcoming your phobias or whatever to be a hero. And then there's the monk that monk does when he gets into the zone and he's like, This is why you did this. This is what I noticed. So just so you guys know, I'm aware. Monk monks, and then we monk. That is right. In the episode where he is solving the murderer that was arranged by Biterbeck, he has his moment where he's telling them how it all happened and he's monking. I love that. And there he's not necessarily doing something physical, but he's like, this is what happened. And I love those moments. And we are gonna see a lot more of those moments in future episodes. And then we have the physical monking where he climbs on a ladder, gets on a roof. We didn't do so great with the climbing the ladder. But we have him trying to get in front of a car. But he tries. Oh my gosh, there are some physical monking moments that are coming up that are so good. I don't want to ruin it for you, but he has his moments. Well, I'm in it for the long haul. Okay, good. Okay. Next things I loved. Oh, that's so funny because that was my next one. Monks' moments of pure brilliance. When the OCD slips away. That's what you were talking about when he monks. Okay. I loved when we didn't know who did it. I think good comfort mystery shows help us follow the mystery and try to solve it ourselves. Instead of where we see the beginning. Yeah. I really love that because for a lot of them, I was able to guess correctly based off the clues that they provided. And I think it makes me feel smart. It I thought most of the murders were pretty clever. Like seeing the maids and like being like, the maids did it. Yeah. A gang of short. Yeah. It was fun. I like the redheaded stranger. There was only two people in the alley. Like that was really good. Also. And we just knew it couldn't be, you know. It's not going to be Willie Nelson. Although that would have been fun. Okay. I loved Disher. I hated him at first. You were right. I was wrong. I mean, I can't promise he's always gonna feel like good. He's gonna have like a lot of stupid moments. Well, so do I. Um, I'm so glad he made your lip. It really warms my heart. And I love that he started to, especially at the end. See, Monk has a genius. I mean, that last episode where he's like something like Monk said so. The word of Adrian Monk. Maybe you've heard of him. And the guy goes, No. He sees Monk for the genius he is, sometimes a lot more than Stadlmeyer. The thing with Stadlmeyer is they wrote him like flip-flopping, and we are gonna see him stop that. Yeah. But he always has like, I love him, but he drives nuts. Right. And I think that's what they were trying to do in this first season. Rather than having him hate him. Yeah. It's most, it's like more like he gets under my skin. And also he's kind of competition. I'm jealous of him. Yes, because he's like, How do you do that? And I'm not, did they have that in this season? How do you do that? A little bit from style, like Okay, we're gonna have more of this. Carnival one, he talks about when Monk came in and everybody said it was a suicide. And Monk said it was a murder. How did she swallow the pills? There's no water. Oh he's like, everybody looked at it. Yes. And only Monk saw it. Only Monk. And both having admiration for it, but also jealousy. Because why can't I be that good? Which gets me to Staldemeyer. He is a babe soda. Like a tall drink of water, a babe soda. Have you never heard that? I've never heard babe soda. I've been giving her a blink look. I call Ben that all the time. I would have just stopped with babe, but babe soda. Um, what about babe pop? No. If I'm from the Midwest. That's so weird. It sounds weird, yeah. Hey, babe pop. What about just like sexy mate? Yeah, he's a babe. He's um a tall drink of water. He's a good cop and a good captain. And yeah, it was Rocky. There were times I hated him. But again, writers getting used to new characters. I think he's gonna be. They've got a really solid um ensemble. Thank you. They've got a really solid ensemble cast. I would never have noticed these inconsistencies that we're discussing if we had not done the podcast and oh yeah, like discussed it together. Um oh my gosh, you know who we haven't talked about? Kroger. Is that his name? Yes. Thank you. I didn't feel like we got to know Kroger very much. We didn't get a very short Stanley Kroger. He is so cute, so wonderful, and he may be around in future episodes. Good. I liked what we got of him. I I loved every single guest actor. None of them phoned it in. They were all really good, including Willie Nelson. I really love that in the airplane episode. There was the Wing Sky. Mm-hmm. Tim Daly. Thank you. And there was a line about Tim Daly being good. Yeah. And that monk was in that show. It's funny. And it was over my head. You had to explain it to me. And which makes me wonder how many other wonderful jokes am I missing? Yes. I hope the show comes alive to you in a good way. You have to tell me what I'm missing. Okay, good. I will. I came in knowing Tony Shalou more on Wings, so you just didn't know. You even said at the beginning, he's just monk to me. He is just monk too. You don't know him from other shows. Where I've seen Mazel. He's good in Mazel. Completely different character. I'm happy that he's just monk to me. Yeah. Then I loved that San Francisco was the setting. I loved learning about the architecture. As a historian, I just find all of that fascinating. I'm so happy it made you happy. It makes me so happy. And that you shared so many cool facts with us. I think we have a destination to go to the tiki room. Oh, absolutely. We're gonna go to Shoreline. Yes. Hopefully. Okay. Very quickly, there were some things I didn't like, but we've kind of covered them, the way he treats Sharona. When he gets into that dismissive mode, it's mostly at Sharona. I don't want to diagnose him. He can just act without regard for other people. Correct. Yeah. When he's like that, it reminds me of Sheldon Cooper, another character that I've loved but also been annoyed by. The difference though is in this show, they don't push back when he's acting like that. Sherona doesn't push back. Sometimes she'll be like, I'm gonna quit, but not the behavior itself doesn't get addressed. Whereas in the Big Bang Theory, all the friends really do push back and you see Sheldon grow. And I love that. They give Monk a lot of leniency versus idiosyncrasies. Yeah. So they're like, oh, Triti died. He's weird now. Yeah. Whereas I think you can have the right to be like, oh, you can't, I don't like when you treat me that way because I don't think it's intentional. I think he just doesn't know. Yeah, on my list of things that I don't like about the show, I wrote, Monk meaner than I remember. I was trying to be so sensitive, but yes. I've watched a show so many times and I've never come away thinking that monk is a jerk. Yeah. But in some of these episodes, he certainly is, and his personality or his idiosyncrasies that are getting in the way. I'm not sure what the issue is. Yeah. But I sure am disappointed in him at certain times. I hope his behavior is better in future seasons. That's what I was hoping too. Like maybe it was just them ironing out the writing. You know, we all have our moments, myself included. Dude, we need our friends to be accommodating and forgiving. Okay. That's pretty much all. Uh I have to raise my hand. I have another thing I don't know. Oh, good. Yeah. Um, and I think these things may not make it into TV at this point. We talked about a lot of things that are not so PC. Right. But like Dal the Well, for example, this terribly obese man. I don't think we would do that in 2026. Yeah. And I just don't like it. Hope that the writing is is a little bit nicer moving forward. But I'm just so excited for season two. That actually brings me to my final thing. Okay. The treatment, the number one treatment for OCD already existed. It it existed in the 80s, which makes me a little mad at the writers for not showing Monk and Sharona working on the using the treatment. You know? Well, he isn't diagnosed with OCD. They don't talk about that. You talk about that. Really? Come on. What a bonehead. Oh my god, I thought he was diagnosed with OCD. What is he diagnosed with? They don't share a diagnosis. Oh wow. But you watched it and you're you were like, it's very clear he is OCD. But they don't share a diagnosis on the show. That changes everything. Okay. It does? Kind of. Like if the writers didn't know who they were writing, then how would they know what treatment? I think it's a little bit like Sheldon. They wanted to keep it ambiguous. Yeah. That makes sense. Okay, well, my next bullet point are what is OCD? I think it's still helpful to talk about OCD and mental health. Um Okay. So when I first thought of OCD, I thought it was like being neat, washing your hands all the time, tapping, which we see. And then last week I talked about your mom being the amygdala. Do you want to stick with that? I don't even remember. Oh my God. Okay. Two parts of the brain. Right, right, right, right, right. Okay. We've got the prefrontal cortex, which is in charge of organization making decisions. He's the captain of the ship. Mm-hmm. But uh these are gonna be mixed metaphors. And then we've got the amygdala, which could be like the ship's computer there to warn you. Or we talked about your mom. She's there, she's been with you forever. She's there to warn you when there's danger. She saved you a bunch of times, but she worries constantly. Yes. And that is your mom. That's my mama. In an OCD brain, your mom's broken. The computer is broken. Anytime it sees any kind of disturbance, it starts screaming. Even when everything is fine. She's worried the door's not locked. So you show her. And she sees it, but she keeps screaming. And then you show her again. And for a little bit, she stops. She's like, okay, I believe you. And then she starts screaming again. The trap is your brain learns that by showing your mom that the door is locked, she'll squiet down for a second. So you keep doing it. Then your days start being wrapped around having to show your mom that the door is locked just to keep her quiet and you really can't do anything else. That's OCD. So she watches and then she screams harder, and there's more things that you have to do to just keep her quiet. That's intrusive odds that your brain fires and treats like an emergency. The ritual is quieter, and that's the compulsion. It works every time, but every time it gets worse. Does that make sense? Yes. You sure? Well, I'm applying it to myself. Okay. Every night I check to make sure my doors are locked before I go to sleep. And so the idea is that let's say I check, I go to bed, and now I'm like, you know what? Did I do it? Yes. I better get up and look. And for some reason, I get up and look again. Yes. And it just keeps getting worse every night versus what I have, which is I look, I remember, and I'm like, okay, I'm good. You told your mom, go to sleep. Everything's fine. Yeah. But in an OCD brain, your mom doesn't believe you. So she makes you get up and check again and again and again. Now monk has phobias and OCD. And so he's got fear of germs, fear of heights, fear of flying. Milk. Yeah, fear of milk. But they're working on the milk. They feel similar, but they work differently. A phobia, your mom is screaming at something right in front of you. The dog, the plane, the heights, so you avoid it. I do have phobias. I can relate to that. I do not do well with bugs. Bugs. Yeah. So you for the most part avoid it, have someone take care of it. That's a phobia. You know, there was a cockroach the other night, and I I didn't call you and scream. That's huge. What happened? Got a broom to knock it. It was up high. Oh. I got a broom to knock it down so I could kill it. The little bastard got away. And then I had to sleep with the light on. I mean, this is phobia, right? Like I had to sleep with the light on because I wanted to make sure it didn't come near me while I was sleeping. And I woke up like every Hour. So I'm embarrassed by this. I can't believe I'm sharing this. No, no, no, no. Um, but it's like my brain. Oh god, I'm so icked out right now. Your amygdala. My amygdala was panicking about the idea of this bug coming near me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's a perfect example. And I've I have calmed down since then. She's got the exactly like monk. Her shoulders are rising, her neck is tight. It's a really good visual because that's how he feels. Just hope it's dead. Yeah, that's a really good example. Phobias are something that you try to avoid. OCD is like having a phobia, even though nothing is there. Gotcha. Yeah. So your amygdala is screaming, your mom is screaming. Even when the room is empty, there's no bugs. But just the thought that there could be bugs makes them panic. For monk, the two got completely tangled, especially around germs. Phobias led to the OCD, the OCD fed the phobia, they got intertwined. And Trudy died, and all of it exploded and got a lot worse. We know that he already had the shoelaces that needed to be matching in high school. He already had OCD, but then it got way worse because something was so out of his control that suddenly the whole world was out of his control. So what Trudy's death did to Monk and his amygdala. OCD runs in families. If you have a first degree relative with OCD, your risk is roughly seven to eight times higher than average. However, it can live in your body without being triggered. About half of those who develop OCD, it comes down to genetics. When you carry that predisposition your whole life, the amygdala can stay manageable until something breaks her open. Trauma also shapes what the amygdala starts to scream about, what your mom starts to scream about. Peer-reviewed research shows that people with OCD started after a trauma were significantly more likely to develop contamination fears and safety obsessions. But my research and just like general understanding of illness because I have so many friends now and my illness could be. A lot of people, it was trauma that that brought it on, like just like Trudy's death. Because if it exists within you, it's like something, it's a trigger, they call it. Um, absolutely. The gun was already loaded and trauma pulls the trigger. Yes. It also shapes what the amygdala decides to scream about. Monk almost certainly had allowed amygdala before Trudy died. We know that, but when she was murdered, it didn't just turn up the amygdala's volume, it gave it a target. Contamination, loss of control, danger is everywhere. That's why he holds himself so tight. And the grief that he's dealing with has nowhere to go. So the amygdala's like, I know you're sad, I'm gonna protect you from everything. So I'm just gonna keep screaming. So most of his life is trying to quiet it down. That's why the murders work, because it gives the amygdala something real to focus on. That's why he loves it. Like when he went on vacation, he had the best time. Yeah. Because it was a vacation for his amygdala. He said, I can't wait to go on another one or something like that. Yeah. So his way of dealing it with the OCD, the amygdala, which is tied to both the phobias and OCD, when you give it something to focus on, it quiet down. You know what I mean? This is important. Not everything that looks like OCD is OCD. Okay. So sometimes stress or trauma makes the brain do OCD-like things, checking, repeating hypervigilance. It looks identical from the outside. But for some people, when the stress lifts or trauma gets treated, those behaviors just go away. I was thinking about my cousin. During a very stressful time, she lived with us and she would wash her hands constantly to the point where they would get dried out and bleed, but she'd keep washing them. And I thought she had OCD, but when the stress lifted and also when she got sober, she stopped that behavior. Um, I'm dealing with something that this goes into my monk thing. It's kind of like your bug thing. You're embarrassed about it. I'm embarrassed about this. A while back, I noticed that a puppy was left on the balcony right across from me. And they would leave it out from your apartment. And she would just look in the window. And I also, because I know about dogs, I know that she's considered a nanny dog. She loves people, she's a puppy. It hurt me physically, and it also ignited the trauma response. So I would get hot and cold and panicked, and I'd shake and I'd cry. I eventually complained to the front office. God. This it took probably a month, and I gave them a dog bed, like, you know, I understand people have to work. I understand different we've talked about this. If everybody treated animals the way like we want people to treat animals the way we do. However, shelters would be fuller than they are if we demanded that kind of care, because people can't care for animals the way we do, nor do they see them the way we do. I understand it, but I did finally complain and they brought the dog in. However, that hypervigilance didn't go away. That fear stayed. And so what ended up happening was I did work really hard in in counseling, doing EMDR on it, working on the trauma that triggered it. But every time I'd walk past the balcony, every time I'd look out my window, I would look. And I wouldn't just look, I would scan and watch. And every time I looked and she wasn't out there, I'd get a little dopamine hit, coupled with cortisol, because then I'd be stressed about where is she now? How are they treating her now? Ben has watched and seen them love on her. And he's like, There's nothing bad happening. But my brain is still screaming, my amygdala is still screaming, that I need to watch in order for her to be safe. This has been going on for a year and a half. And I have mostly dealt with the trauma. And my counselor told me, or my therapist, whatever you want to call her, that sometimes, especially with ADHD, the brain gets dopamine from a negative response too. She said, What's happening in your body is you're getting a negative cortisol hit, but you're also getting a dopamine hit. So is there a way that you can stop looking? So, much like OCD, every time I would look, my body, my amygdala would quiet for a second and then it'd start screaming. And I noticed it was getting worse despite the amount of trauma therapy I was doing. So that goes into my monk. For the past couple weeks, I have set a day tracker just like I do with my sobriety. I've got a day tracker for how many days I've gone without drinking, and I have begun to not look, close the windows, close the curtains, and not look. And I also put Ben on watch duty so that I don't feel like I'm abandoning her completely, but it's not good for me. I have, for lack of a better word, relapsed many times because I just want to see. So when I go into OCD treatment, trauma treatment, please hear me when I say this is not easy. This is hard. The guilt I feel about abandoning her is so real in my body. You've seen me weep over this. I want you to know I'm not providing like a huge compassionate response only because we talk about this all the time. She's held me while I've cried, knowing how stupid I feel over this. I want to give you a hug now, but I'm kind of like No, no, no, no. I appreciate this. My amygdala found a real target and a real trauma and got stuck in it. And so I'm gonna go into the treatment. But that's what I mean with not everything looks like an OCD. I'm having an OCD type response. The looking is like the monk tapping, the monk checking, the monking. Giving a white. It calms his amygdala down for a second, but until the contamination happens again. So, what treatment looks like? The gold standard for OCD treatment is called ERP, exposure response prevention. And it's recognized by the American Psychiatric Association, the National Institute of Mental Health, International OCD Foundation. In plain language, you let the amygdala scream, you let your mom scream, you let the computer put on red alert, and you don't respond. You wait it out. That sounds so difficult. It is. So for me, one way I wait it out is where is it in my body? What color is it? What does it feel like? And then the body naturally yawns, shakes. It eventually gets tired. The amygdala gets tired. You ask her, hold my hand. Let's look where it is in our body. Let's allow that. So eventually the body, you complete the stress cycle. The amygdala learns, oh, that wasn't a threat. Yes. I don't need to check the door again. Yes. It's locked. You touch the doorknob, you don't wash your hand. You shake a hand, you don't reach for the wipe. You allow your body, the stress, the fear to complete, and then your brain learns. This is not easy, but this is the number one. There's an 80 to 90% success rate. What'd you just do? Oh God, sorry. You felt it in your body? I was just thinking about ignoring a cockroach and I was like, oh my God, I would never do that. Right. So I'm sorry, I said 80 to 90%. The results are actually 60 to 80% of people with OCD experience significant relief when they do ERP. It's the gold standard for a reason. That's so wonderful. Yeah. And I know it works for me because I've used it. It's this one, this the dog on the balcony is particularly hard because I don't, I'm also struggling with, I don't want to lose this hypervigilance. I want to make sure she's okay. You know? I just need, I want her to be okay. I want her to be okay too. I want all animals to be okay. And so that hypervigilance, when if I heal that, then I'm letting them go. However, it's not good for me. Okay. Um, medication is really important. We never see monk on medication. That is the strangest thing. I've never even on guys, do you know how many meds I take? It's like I have an entire pharmacy in my house. I take an antidepressant. I do too. And the coolest part about it is it has pain-reducing qualities. Oh, that's amazing. It's a double trouble drug. Nice. Yes. So SSRIs often at a higher dose than for depression. They don't silence the amygdala, but they turn down the volume. They're like, hey, amygdala, chill. Yeah. It's bored. It's more like you can scream, but I'm gonna put on my headphones. You know, like she's still screaming at the same rate. You just don't hear her as much. And that allows ERP to be possible. Because haven't you ever experienced when you're scared, you can't use any of your tools. I have been so upset by the animal on the balcony that I cannot tell. I can't I it's, you know, panic attacks. Yeah. SSRIs medication can help quiet that so you can use your tools. And that's what I've noticed. Um, and then talk therapy alone is generally not enough. I wish we saw Kroger use some more tools. Um OCD is not an insight problem, it's a learning problem. The amygdala doesn't need to be understood. She needs to be retrained. You know, she needs to stand at the door and realize the door is locked and then leave it. And then I'm a big, big advocate for EMDR, eye movement, desensitization, and reprocessing. It works directly on the trauma. So it could help him with Trudy's death. The trauma loses its charge and the amygdala loses the target. Yeah, we do not see sufficient therapy for Monk. Yeah. It is not the premise of the show. Um, but even with it not being the premise, we could see more of him with Kroger and just like trying to take care of himself. And they are very gentle with him and very slow to treat him. And I think if he had a physical illness, it would be addressed very differently. Absolutely. You don't want to just put a cast on something. Yeah. You want it to heal. Yeah. Right. It would have been nice if we saw Sharona. Maybe don't give him a wipe and stand there with him and go, okay, where do you feel in your body? That's what's helpful about having the nurse there. You know, you've got to partner with it. You're not alone. She can remind him, what are your tools? What did you do to get milk down your body to do that? Yes, no tools. Yeah. Okay. So in closing, everyone in Monk's universe is kind of giving him permission to believe that his OCD is manageable and Sharona allows him to live in a world where all of his OCD tendencies are allowed, but they could be treated. That's all. That's all. I have to imagine that all of this treatment is happening behind closed doors, or that in this world, OCD is not something that grows or gets worse. And that way I can just blissfully go along. I'll probably still throw in like what's happening in his brain when I see it because I'm just interested. I think yeah, that may have to be what you do. Yeah. But I also need to accept a show for what it is. You know? Yes. And I really do appreciate it. It's given me understanding into what OCD and trauma looks like. And I didn't know about ERP. I didn't know that using EFT, emotional freedom technique, was essentially ERP. But now that I know and the different ways ERP can be used, I use it in different ways and it's so helpful. So I've really enjoyed doing this season with you. Just makes me I want people to know that whoops, the amygdala doesn't have to ruin your life. It doesn't have to scream all the time. There are options, but also if it's screaming, I really empathize with you. I'm so sorry that it's going on. We have the most compassionate Jen here, guys. And I I think it's so wonderful because people listening to the podcast are like monk fans. Yeah. But it's quite possible that, you know, you have a mental health issue or that you know someone who does. And it's really great to have this information and to just be armed with it. Yeah. It certainly isn't a part of like monk. No, no. When you re-watch monk, you don't know that like you're gonna come away with this information, but you do when you're on this podcast. Rewatch. Hell yeah. I will put in some resources in the show's description if you want to know more information about OCD. And then the National Institute of Mental Health is a great resource. And we understand EMDR therapy is expensive. So, you know, we're with you for the long haul. Um, do you want to play this or that? Oh my god, I'd love to. I said that with enthusiasm, but I've never played it, so I don't know. This is just so people can get to know us more and so we can get to know each other more. Oh my god, let's do it. Questions to spice up conversations. Do you want to do those? Sure. Out of both of us, who's most likely to forget their own birthday? I'd say both of us. No, me. You get very excited for your birthday. I do get very excited for my birthday. I like parties and theme parties. And when I was healthy, I used to throw parties in my house. And for my 30th, I asked for a party. Yes. And Jen threw the best party for me. I gave it to you. It was so fun. And guys, there were sparklers. And I had never had sparklers at like in my life because my mom thinks they're dangerous. Uh-huh. I don't know if I've told you. Oh, yeah, we couldn't have candles in our house. Yeah. Oh my God, me either. So Jen just threw me the best party, guys. Um, we wore masks and we dressed up. Yes, it was a masquerade party. Uh there were sparklers. I drank too much champagne. You had the cutest strapless dress. I looked good. You did. I don't care about my birthday ever. I don't like any attention, really. I don't want anyone to look at me. That's true. Jen does not even like pictures of her, although lately she's been more amazing. I have. I have. I've been trying. Who's most likely to fall asleep at a party? Me. No, but no question about it. Um, who's most likely to survive a zombie? You. She's strong, guys. She's really strong and she runs. I run. Who's most likely to laugh at the wrong time? I think we all know, yeah. What makes us laugh is different. So we are laughing throughout this at different times. Yeah. Who's most likely to win an argument? Neither. We both hate conflict. We've a friend who will win. She'll do this. Um, who's most likely to lose their phone twice in one day? Me. Yeah, I don't I've never lost my phone. I lose it multiple times a day. How? ADHD. I leave it, walk somewhere, forget where I am or what I'm doing. And yeah, it's so frustrating. I don't go anywhere. I'm just sitting in the house. How am I gonna lose it? Who's most likely to join a reality show? You. Yeah, I think I you'd be great on one. Do you think I would be a villain? That's my big concern. I don't want to be a villain. I think you might be that type of villain that everybody loves because you say what you're thinking out loud, but in a charming way. I hope so. Yeah. What's your favorite color? It depends on the context. So, like if we're talking about decorating my home, pink. Oh, I love that. What kind of pink? Mauvey pink. Ooh, okay. Like the color of this yellow. I love that. Um, if we're talking about like just in general, like my water bottle or like stickers and stuff, green. Yeah. Kelly green or lighter green? Um, more towards like um an earthy hunter green. Oh, okay. Mine is close-wise black, just because I love black. Yeah, you're functional black. But my favorite color is green. Which green? Uh Kelly green. The color of leaves, of grass, of summer, of very nature. Very good. I like it. It's the most nourishing color to me. What's your favorite food? So my favorite food is called kuggle. Oh. It is a Jewish food. And it can be made savory or it could be made sweet. And I, of course, love my mom's kogel, which is a sweet kogel. And it's a noodle dish. Yeah, it's like a noodle casserole. It's one of those things where like you have to try it because when we describe it, it's like, yeah, no one likes it. You don't like it, right? It frightens me. I don't like the texture. Some of my friends love it, and some of my friends are like, no. Because I I've made it for like a brunch that I'll taste, or my mom will make it and I share it. And yeah, Jen's like, no. A lot of my food aversion is from childhood stuff. I sound like such a mess on this podcast, but when you grow up in a church, you are often forced to eat a lot of casseroles and you don't know what's in them. And coogle, cook, coogle. Yeah. Okay. It kind of reminds me of that. Like, I don't know what's in it. I can't I don't know what texture this is. Doesn't matter, my brain will fill in. Okay. Um what's your favorite food? Oh, burgers. And I'm sorry, but it's all good. Grass-fed, you know how I am, but a burger is what I'm saying. I'm just apologizing because I'm a vegetarian. Yeah, but also I don't like to eat. I you know how I feel about animals, but I do crave meat. So I just want it treated the best. And I can't wait for that ma that grown meat. Um, what's your favorite sport to watch? Um guys, I really love WMBA. I also love football. But I can go with WMBA. Okay. I would say if I had to choose, it would be football. Okay. Yeah. But hockey's fun to watch too. And then if I was to play one, I think I'd be good at pickleball. You should play pickleball. No, no. I know. He but he'd be really good at it, and I just get mad because he gets good at everything. It's just annoying. He'll probably become obsessed with it. That's what he does. Um, okay. What's your favorite movie? I don't have a favorite. You don't have a comfort one that you put on. I'm more of a TV show person. That's my next question. Okay. Mine is, and everybody's gonna laugh and be mad, this is gonna be very divisive. But the movie I put on when I'm very sad, because it always makes me giggle, is Ghostbusters 2. The second one. I really like Ghostbusters 2. Do you? Yeah. Bill Murray is so funny. He improved a lot of it. I love the baby. The baby's so cute. Yes. I love the villain. There's two villains, but it's the antagonist's name. There is Vigo the Carpa Vigo. Yeah. And then Yanosh is the guy that unlocks Vigo. Little idiot. He comes in and goes, Hey, just checking on the baby. Ooh, the BMB. It makes me giggle. The movie makes me giggle. The scene where Segorny Weaver turns on the bathtub and the comes out really freaked me out a long time and really made me nervous about the bathtub for a quite a bit. Even though it looks like Pepto Bismol. Yes. Oh. You never knew what was gonna come out of your pipes. Yeah, that's true. Okay, favorite TV show. Monk. Is it monk or friends? So monk during the day. Okay. Friends at night in the evening. Mine is two part. Star Trek Next Generation for the Comfort Level. And then Psych for the Comfort Level. And I when I say psych, I mean seasons one through five. Yeah, guys, she does not watch the end of shows. Star Trek, same thing, seasons one through six. What are we gonna do with mine? I don't know. Well, there's a lot of seasons. Let's see how we do. My thing is when the quality drops or when characters become caricatures, like when Ross becomes a caricature and there's no emotional growth. Um, I just want to start over at the beginning when they were more natural. The thing about Friends is I focus more on Monica and Chandler at that point. And I also love when Phoebe meets Mike in season nine. Um I really like season nine for some reason. Good. I like when the baby's there. Yeah. What is something you wonder about? What? What's something you wonder? Let me give you an example. I wonder about timelines. Like I love the idea of multiple timelines that any decision I've made has veered off into another timeline. So in that timeline, am I married to my college boyfriend? In a timeline, am I a famous singer? Am I, you know, like what happened to me in that? And I can go down those timelines and dream. I think it's so fun. And I often think, because I remember my dreams so vividly, I think I'm in different timelines when I go down that. I also wonder what happened to all the dragons, because dragons are so prevalent in our culture. So prevalent. Where'd they go? Why are they so prevalent? Were they ever real? She's looking at me like I'm crazy. That's that's the stuff I wonder. I walk around all day wondering. My brain is delicious. I love my brain. Delicious is like a really nice word for it. I wonder about a lot of personal stuff. Less worldly and more personal. And I think that's because I'm a little bit trapped due to my illness. I'm very homebound. Um, so I wonder about what my life would be like if I wasn't. I wonder what it would be like to travel and have the autonomy that I used to have. I wonder what it would be like. Oh my gosh, to be in love. Yeah. Um, because I am very single. Uh is that the type of wonderful? I love that. Yeah. Any kind of wonder. Uh what did you want to be when you grew up? Okay, when I was really, really little, I wanted to be a garbage woman. Oh, I love this. I learned so much about you. I why? Okay, so I would always wave to the garbage truck with my mom. And in these days, things were not as automated, and there was someone who stood on the back of the truck and would get, you know, the can and they throw the can into the back, and then they hold on, and the truck moves down to the next house and they get it. It's kind of like a ride. It's like a ride. And so I pictured myself holding on, and by the way, it has to be a green truck. Obviously. The brown truck, the green truck. I pictured myself holding on while the truck went on the highway. Oh, and my hair blowing in the wind. I didn't think about the smell or the fact that I if the if the truck went on the highway for some reason, I would obviously not be on the back. You'd be a garbage woman. You'd be holding it tight. And my hair in the my little young baby mind put it all together. Um, so I had a vision. That makes me so happy. And it's and my my entire family knew about it and laughed and thought it was great and encouraged me. That makes me so happy. Tell me about you. It's nothing exciting. I remember my first one was I wanted to be a Disney cartoonist so bad. That is brilliant. We grew up in Disney's 90 heyday when the movies were just amazing, Little Mermaid. I grew up at the same time as Disney. I know, I know. That's why I said we. Oh, okay. Um for some reason I thought you meant you and your sister. No, no, no. And I'm like, I was there too. And I had this animation book and I would draw the beast, and I I could draw it, but I should have been put into art classes or something. Um, it's okay. Um, I know all the books of the Bible. Yeah, there were different priorities. But yeah, I wanted to be a Disney cartoonist for a long time. Yeah. Gosh, it is so cool. Yeah. We should start drawing now. I go through phases where I draw, but again, my perfectionism is a big uh barrier because I have the idea in my head and it doesn't look like that, and I get discouraged. You know what? You've drawn some stuff for me. Mm-hmm. I drew Hooper for your mom. Yeah, I'm trying to think if I have it anything around that you drew. I don't think so. Yeah. I have one piece of art up that I did with charcoal that I love. You know, one of my favorite current artists, Jean-Pierre Castignaux. He just does women on seasides, and I did a copy of one of his that's in white color that I was obsessed with. Uh-huh. And it turned out pretty good. I framed it. I love that. Okay. What is one of your greatest talents? Trumpet? Trumpet. Way off too. She's so good as a mouth trumpeter. So it can't be a great talent. Yes, it can. If Monk could have done that and then way off the No, it's really good. That's really cool. I was really good at trumpet and I was really good at piano. I was really good at product management. Yes, you were. I was good at my job, my career, uh, especially within product management. More analytical stuff. That was my jam. Yeah. I don't know if you call that a talent, but like I would. That was what I was. You were so good at it. It's what you loved. It's what I loved. And uh and it's the type of thing where like after I worked on it for a while, I would be kind of high off of it and be like, who wants to go get coffee? Let's go. You were in flow. I was just I was in my flow state, and I was so happy. Uh, I miss it so much. Your turn. My greatest talent. Um, well, I do want to say you are a really good friend. And I'll say this. You, unlike anybody I've ever met, except people exactly where they're at. Oh my gosh. And thank you. I've admired that our entire friendship. I can be really tough to be a friend to. I know that. You're my my introvertedness can be a problem. Just really appreciate that you've always accepted me where I'm at. And I see you do that with other people that I find difficult. You see the best in them. You are so sweet. No, I'm not. It's you. Okay, my greatest talent. I really love my ability to fantasize. To I think I have one of the best creative brains. I don't do anything with it, but I love that I will see a giant flower and I'll start thinking about the giant hummingbirds that go with it. Like my brain constantly gives me fun things to think about. And I'm really grateful for that. And you know what? I'm having this memory pop-up. We were playing with our friend's daughter, and I have nothing in me, like nothing to give. I'm just watching, making sure she doesn't die. And this is toddler. And instead, Jen is doing this whole charade with her and has this, she's so animated and like I have nothing to give. And it we're like two complete opposites. Well, I don't think that's it was it was so cool to watch. And I was like, thank god Jen is here because I apparently am the type of ant that makes sure the child stays alive. Yeah. And Jen's cool one. I did get it from my dad. He would make stories come alive and take us on adventures, and I'm just so grateful. Yeah. It is so cool. It's fascinating to watch, but it is so special for the little kid. Yeah. And it's really special for all the things that you write and that you put together. I know you don't share, but you tell me about it. Um, and you got children's books in you. I hope so. Uh what is something that you wish for? World peace. I wish I remembered the line from Miss Congeniality. I think it's like stronger something for pearl violators. Stronger, stronger um penalties for pearl violators. April 27th. Yeah. That's such a good movie. All you need is a light jacket. That is a great movie. Uh I forgot the question. What do you wish for? Guys, I really wish for my health to be like incrementally better. I'm not asking to just magically. This is your wish. Why can't you just wish to be healthy? I'm a really practical person. I know. I'm really practical, but yesterday I was having so much fun at this adoption event. I was holding on to my cane tightly while I was walking around because I went without my wheelchair. And I was like, if I could just do this and my body doesn't give out of me, like if I could walk around with my cane more often, it'd be great because it gives me so much more autonomy. But as soon as I got in the car, like two or three hours later, I was like, oh my god, I know. So if I could just do that more often. Okay. Oh me, wait, wait, wait. I also really wish for a lover who loves me. Yeah, there you go. Love you. A Jeannie shows up, and you're like, I wish to be a little bit better. Just a tiny bit better. You're not understanding the game. Jeannie's like, what doesn't matter what's going on? All right. Okay. Well, I wish for you to be a thousand percent better and for a gorgeous man to just come in. Um, my greatest wish is gonna be no surprise. My greatest wish is for, and this is my mantra, all animals to be safe, happy, loved, and well taken care of, every single one, because I feel like the empathy required for that would mean that we live in a world where all people are safe, happy, loved, and well taken care of, and all nature is safe, happy, loved, and well taken care of. And uh that's my greatest wish. I love it. Yeah. And then what are you looking forward to in the next year? I'm going on my first mini vacation in three years. I'm so happy for you. Thank you. Jen will be watching my little kitty cats. I'm really looking forward to that. I will be leaving my house and sleeping somewhere else, and that is a big deal. Just getting new things for your brain to soak in and enjoy. I'm looking forward to that man who's gonna come into my life. I am too. I'd like a hot tub. Now we're back to the wish. Going back to the genie. Excuse me, genie. Yeah, a hot tub would be nice. Now I know what to get you for your birthday. A hot tub. A hot tub. I'll walk into my backyard one day and Jen will just be sitting there. Her dogs will be, you know, a little singing sun. Yeah. Oh, that sounds great. Um, I am looking forward to doing more episodes of this podcast. I love it. I love it. I'm looking forward to learning more about Monk. And mainly, this has been so fun. It is so fun. I love it. It's a bright spot in my week. So much fun. They said they love it. I know. We've got people that are listening. And I just really hope that you guys enjoy it and it brings brightness to your life. Yeah. And maybe gives you a vacation from all that's happening in this world. Yes. Because we all need it. We are going to be taking probably a month off. Yeah. So go back and listen to old episodes. We're sorry for that break, but we just want to make sure we have a backlog because we've got some vacations coming up and we'll still be working and we'll still be loving ya. Because we do love you. We do, we do. And we'll see you in a few weeks. A few weeks. Okay. Thanks, guys. Adopt, don't shop, and we'll see you soon. Love you. Love you, love you. Bye. Bye.