Episode 1: This didn’t start as a podcast

Before there was a podcast, there was a shed. 

In this first episode of She Shed Unfiltered, Donna and Meg share the real story behind how this space came to be — not as a brand or a plan, but as a response to a season where silence no longer felt like safety. 

They talk candidly about divorce, identity shifts, and the quiet moment many women reach when pretending everything’s “fine” stops working. This conversation sets the tone for what She Shed Unfiltered is all about: honesty over polish, lived experience over advice, and connection without judgment. 

Welcome to the Shed. 

In this episode, we explore: 

• How She Shed Unfiltered began — before it was ever a podcast 
• The personal moments that led to choosing honesty over silence 
• Divorce and the identity shifts that follow 
• Why “being fine” can sometimes be the loneliest place to be 
• Creating space for real conversations between women 

This is the starting point. The door is open. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to Chase Unfiltered. This is not a podcast for perfect women or polite conversations. This is for the women who've been divorced, dismissed, burnt out, betrayed, and still somehow managed to show up, get shit done, and keep everyone else still alive. There'll be laughter, there may be tears, and you might even say, did they really say that shit? Just real women, real stories, and the kind of honesty that usually happens after the second glass of wine. The first season of She Shed Unfiltered is about the things we learned the hard way. The lessons no one warned us about. The moments that changed us. Whether we were ready or not. I'm Donna and I'm Meg. Welcome to our first podcast of the She Shed Unfiltered.

SPEAKER_00 0:51

And we thought for today's episode, we would talk about the birth of She Shed. Uh, it was Donna's brainchild, and I am very pleased to be the co-host and uh giving you our origin story.

SPEAKER_01 1:03

You know, what started as just kind of a heartbreak and, you know, a lot of trauma over the past year, and uh having all my girlfriends come over and spend time with me and lift me up off the floor and pour me wine and make sure I eat and all the other things great friendships do during our difficult times. And you know, some nights we would sit out here in the shed, you know, through the tears, there was laughter, and then we would just say the funniest shit. We're like, we should be recording this. Like, and uh, and here we are. Without them, I don't know where I would be. And I think that I'm I feel so fortunate that I have such a great group of friends and surviving the last year and feeling strong and feeling resilient and in such a great place. And I know not everybody has that kind of support. And for me, it was just something really important to do, to have women's voices heard and talk about our personal journeys and what we've gone through and uh and be there for women who may or may not have the support. So for us for this podcast, our idea behind it is just real women, real conversations, unfiltered.

SPEAKER_00 2:21

And for those of you who don't have the support that you feel you need, we want to be here for you, even if it's only virtually. We want to hear your voices, what you're going through, and the kind of support that you need, because that's why we're doing this.

SPEAKER_01 2:34

Yeah, absolutely. And you know, we're not here to fix things, we're not professionals in that in that way. We are just real women who have gone through real stuff. You know, we want to listen and we want you to know that it's not just you, it's a lot of us. More than I actually could even imagine. When I put out the call for this podcast, I was overwhelmed with the amount of women that reached out and said, Your story sounds like my story, or I have a story that I want to share. And it it was beautiful just to know that so many women are not alone. And that's what this podcast is about.

SPEAKER_00 3:11

And I was one of the women who saw Donna's post and got so excited for the opportunity behind this podcast, uh, what we can talk about, which is the real shit, and who we can reach. That's how I came to sit next to her on the couch. So uh here we are.

SPEAKER_01 3:29

Yeah, and we're gonna talk about the real things. You know, we're gonna talk about the heartbreak, we're gonna talk about betrayal, we're gonna talk about the grief and what that looked like, you know, identity shifts. We're like, who am I now? The loneliness that, you know, you're hit with at first, work pressures and uh and the reinvention. And all and and most importantly, the friendships, the friendships that not only my friends, my committee that lift me up, but this amazing group of women who are behind the podcast. You know, I think that connection is going to really be something that's going to just get stronger with time. And we felt that energy the first time we all met in my kitchen. So I think that is something that is going to be uh incredible to watch blossom.

SPEAKER_00 4:16

One of the topics I'm really excited to talk to Donna and you about is dating in midlife. Donna and I are both singletons and kind of in that dating world. And I always go back to Margaret Atwood's famous statement: menopause is a pause to reconsider men. So I feel like that's what Donna and I are doing right now.

SPEAKER_01 4:37

And we're excited to have other voices on the show too to speak to that. Yeah. Meg's a little further along than I am on the dating thing. I think I'm still like menopausing. Um and not sure when that will on pause. Um, but again, uh, I love that we're gonna hear stories and just the laughter because I know there are some, you know, we've all we all have our our heartfelt, you know, tearful parts of our journey, but we also have the really funny parts and the shit that we're learning, right?

SPEAKER_00 5:11

And we'd love to hear from you as well. If there are certain topics that you would like us to cover, then you can find our email address in the show notes. Uh, just look down below. Please reach out to us and let us know what you think we should be talking about. Any women's issues really. We're very open to uh you playing a part in how this show takes place.

SPEAKER_01 5:30

You might be wondering why we're doing this now. And for me, again, as I mentioned earlier, it started with devastation. My life fell apart in a way I never saw coming. And I mean that literally. I thought we had a great relationship, and everyone around us, we were one of the couples that people looked up to and were envious of. You know, we never had any fights or or anything. One night, actually, we were out in the shed. I got upset and I slammed the door. I actually slammed it three times. I did. I slammed the door and then came back in and said, like, I feel like roommates, and slammed the door again. And I heard him say something, and I opened the door. I'm like, what the did you say? And slammed it. So yeah, I slammed the door three times. And then the next morning he went to his mom's and and never came back. There was there were emails and text messages going back and forth, but really nothing, nothing to tell me what was wrong the next day after he left. I saw that he was back in the city, uh, reached out and said, Are you coming home? And he said no. He had bought an air mattress and he was going to spend the night in his office and wanted me to meet him in the parking lot the next day to have a talk. And I said, No, if you want to talk, come home. Like we're together. We've been together for seven years. Between some emails and text messages and a few counseling sessions, never once did he tell me why. You know, that's something that I'll never have that closure on. Yeah. For the longest time, I replayed back in my head, like, what did I do wrong? What could I have done differently? Like, maybe I should have met him in a parking lot, maybe. And I realized after a lot of therapy that it actually wasn't me and it was him. But living with the not having closure and being with an avoidant is something that is traumatic when you're when you've had a relationship. I mean, we were going to get married, that it it it takes a long time to move past that. And and the podcast is a little bit of a a healing part of my healing journey, and also, you know, out there for listeners so that they can understand that what they're going through, it's not normal, but you're not alone. You know, that's kind of one of the biggest uh uh reasons for me is just it's it's part of my healing journey. And and I'm a person who is always looking to um engage with other people. And uh, you know, I've been leading not-for-profits for 22 years, so I'm all about like helping people. Uh, and that's looked different in so many ways. So this podcast just really feels really good. I'm so excited that we're here today, Meg, doing this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:20

Yeah. And your story really resonated with me. I mean, that not having closure after seven years of commitment, it just must take so much longer to be able to process that and get over it when you just are lying in bed at night and you don't have any of the answers that you need to fully move on. And so for you listeners, when Donna reached out to me to get together for coffee, I really learned more about your story. I thought it was an incredible idea to share that experience and to help others with your experience. And for me, there are some parallels between us. I didn't have such an abrupt ending as you did, which oh must have been so hard. I lost my job. Um, I was in a corporate kind of setting for eight years. Um, I actually didn't like my job. I was shoved into a new job after coming back from Matt leave, which felt like a bit of betrayal from my employer. And so I had two weeks in winter where I was just stewing over what part of my life, what parts of my life didn't work for me anymore. And unfortunately, my eyes fell on my marriage. I also felt like roommates. I also felt like there was this huge disconnect. It's simple things like eye contact, like cuddling, like casual touching. I'm not even talking about being intimate, just a hug, you know, were non-existent in my married life. We had a three-year-old daughter who we both adored, and he told me when I initiated some relationship conversations, he said, I give all my love to her and I have nothing left for you. And I didn't know how to come back from that. I didn't know what do you even say after that? Why are we still together? Why are we still doing this? We have nothing in common other than parenting at this point. So after two weeks after I lost my job, I ended my marriage, which is insane. Wow. Just blew my whole life up completely. Like, let's start, let's do it. And we're gonna blow it up. Let's just live in the club. And then, of course, the pandemic hit, so we had to live together in this small bungalow for 11 months, which which was not easy, but good for both of us in that we had constant access to our daughter, which is great. We didn't have to worry about custody at that point in time, and we were both so paranoid about the pandemic anyway. But you really do, and I'm sure you had to do this too. You have to pick yourself up and find your people and reinvent yourself. It's this rebirth in a way, because you have no choice. Right. You have to move on, you have to evolve. And I think, you know, friends are godsend in that time to just, you know, they listen to you, rant and rave about everything that you're going through emotionally. I mean, it's like free therapy, even though we both sought out therapy, which I think is good for us. I think more men need to do this. Yeah, it's funny. I read therapists say that the people they see the most are the victims of people who need therapy. And I thought, wow, oh, that is profound. Yes. Like that is absolutely true. Yeah. And I think why I sought therapy multiple times was because you like you're with someone who needs therapy, but they're an adult. They have to get there themselves in their own time, or in some cases, not at all. So then you have to move on and figure it out yourself and process those feelings yourself.

SPEAKER_01 11:45

Oh no, I I had the same thing with my therapist. I was there and I'm like, maybe I'm a narcissist. Am I a narcissist? And he was like, just you asking if you're a narcissist means you're not a narcissist. Absolutely. And I was like, maybe, you know, I have a demanding job and maybe I was focused too much on work, or, you know, when I go through like really high pressure or something stressful, I like to kind of be alone and process it. And then I'm like, you know, maybe I made it all about me. And and I and I learn from my therapist that I'm not a narcissist. And and the fact that, you know, I was concerned that maybe I was a narcissist, and sometimes you can always make it about you.

SPEAKER_00 12:26

And we blame ourselves, which is the worst part, right? Regardless of what actually happened. Obviously, it takes two. There's there's, you know, good and bad on both sides, but we do, I feel like as women, we're conditioned to be the peacekeepers, the diplomats, the caretakers, you know, often, and that often becomes the of our for our partners, of our partners, we're supposed to take on all that emotional labor. And I'm sorry, that's not fair. Like I would like to date a grown-up, please, right?

SPEAKER_01 12:55

Are there any out there? I hope so. That's what scares me, you know. Like when I think about all the energy that I poured into this relationship, you know, we were a blended family, turned this home that was my home into a home for them and made space, decorated rooms, uh, renovate it. And, you know, when his daughter was in the basement with my daughter in separate rooms, daughter didn't like that. And so I asked my son if he would move downstairs. So my kids were in the basement in order to make his kids feel comfortable. Wow. And, you know, just I'm the type of person I want people to feel comfortable, I want f people to feel happy. And I realized in trying to make him and his kids feel comfortable in my home, my kids were becoming uncomfortable. And um so it was an either-or situation, yeah. And it was, you know, it's just I I look back now and I'm like, wow, like I see all the red flags now, yeah. But at the time, again, I thought we had a perfect relationship. And then as you sit back, you're like, holy cow, I'm a smart woman. Like, how did I not see that? Did I want love in a relationship so badly that I was willing to like not see those red flags? And and you know, even at the end, like when he left so abruptly, yeah, he was really close to my kids and he never reached out to them. Never? Not once, not once. My daughter was so close to him, you know. Obviously, I can't say his name, but she called him Papa with his name, and she said, like, when I get married, I want dad and papa to walk me down the aisle. And my son, who, you know, was 16, they were buddies. Like they went on a road trip to New York and they just were buddies. And my son kept watching 360 and saying, like, why isn't he coming home? Like, where is he? And why is he? And I was making excuses for of course the first couple of weeks, and finally I had to like tell him the truth. But the fact that he didn't even reach out to my kids, like the that's the part that hurts me the it might because my kids are hurting, and I see that m my daughter, especially, like she's you know, in university, she gets really, really angry. My son won't even mention his name.

SPEAKER_00 15:14

Really?

SPEAKER_01 15:15

Yeah, because he does hold in his emotions, but my daughter is like she's a little more vocal on how she feels, and and um, and I think that I just don't understand how a human being, it's one thing that our relationship ended, but to walk away and not even reach out and say, you know, like, hey, things didn't work out with your mom and I, but I'll always be here for you, or the time that we spent is really special to me, or whatever, but not to reach out. So yeah, so I'm not the narcissist. No, I just missed a lot of red flags.

SPEAKER_00 15:48

That is deeply avoidant behavior. And the thing is too, I mean, I've been in this a similar situation where you're so in love with someone and you know, you have this romantic narrative of your relationship and and what you feel it is in the moment, you can't pull back and see the issues until you're on the other side of it, which I think is so unfair. Yeah. You know, you you get that kind of blinding clarity. And then also in therapy, you know, there's like that second step of where you go deeper into what the issues were. And I, one thing that my therapist said after I was ending my marriage is you're looking at your husband as a problem to be solved, which is awful because he is very intelligent, high functioning, autistic. But I was trying to push him into therapy and push him into being proactive about his mental health. And he basically said, This is who I am, kind of I am what I am, which is fine, but also wouldn't let me into what that experience was like for him because I wanted some insight into understanding. Well, do you want or expect me to treat you differently or to get on a certain level with you because of your autism? And it just would have been nice to have that insight, but he was so kind of he was also avoidant and and kind of of any kind of confrontation and would rather just have things go along, even if we were both quietly miserable because change is hard. Right. So it's such a difficult thing. Like you beat yourself up after the fact, but how how do you manage that in the moment? You know, it's such a challenging thing. I know.

SPEAKER_01 17:21

And I think, you know, when you talk about like dating again, I'm like, I know in in my past relationship, I I don't want to say trying to fix him, I was trying to make him feel almost trying to reassure him that he is lovable. And and, you know, he had issues with uh his biological father, and you know, just in his in his marriage. And so I was always like overcompensating because I wanted him to know that like I loved him and and he was, you know, at that time I thought he was a good person and I thought he was a good dad. Yeah. And so I was spending all this time like filling his needs and forgetting my own. And so, like, when we even talk about like dating again, is there a man out there that doesn't need fixing? Or or maybe I just need to learn to not think I have to fix everything, right? Or, you know, we talk about that emotional intelligence. Like, you know, I'm not saying that men are bad at all. I have two sons who I love dearly, and they are I have a 30-year-old son who he's a good man, and I have a 17-year-old son. He's an incredible young man and great tech support. And a great tech support, yes, yeah. Um, so you know, I have to be very careful. Again, I also want to reiterate that this podcast is not a man-bashing podcast at all. We would love to like have men on here and talk about it and like let's dive deeper. And, you know, why do men like feel that they can't talk about their emotions or cry or, you know, all the wonderful things women express how we express ourselves. So um, you know, that'll those will be some topics that we can dive into as we get started. But, you know, I think that, yeah, it's just really important to kind of set that right off the bat that yes, we are women who, you know, are recovering from heartbreak or betrayal or job loss or, you know, but we're not angry women at all. So this is no man bashing.

SPEAKER_00 19:31

Just sharing our stories and kind of what we learned from our struggles. And actually, Donna, two things that I learned from being very newly reintroduced to the dating scene is one, there is no age attached to, you know, a maturity match or emotional IQ match. And I I realized I had to kind of broaden my idea of who's appropriate to date because I started by, you know, trying to seek out someone who was within two years of my age. You know, I met, I'm 45. I I had a first date with a 47-year-old who had was living a very young life. We'll say that, you know, didn't have a lot of responsibilities, was living a young life, and that's great for him, but it's not for me. And then I met someone in his 30s who was very mature but started a family, uh, accidentally started a family at 19. So had to grow up very quickly. Yep. And also owns his own business. So I find there's no um, there's no shortcut beyond meeting in person and assessing, you know, who they are and if it's a compatibility fit. There's no way of knowing, you know, other than through lived experience. Because I thought, okay, as long as I stay within kind of five to 10 years and up from my age, I'll be okay. But I think I have to broaden my mindset around that. And another thing I noticed is I've met men who don't have the support system that like you and I and women that we know have, that they might have one or two close friends, but they don't have that like large kind of supportive network that they can lean on in hard times. And uh, and maybe because we as women feel more comfortable being emotionally vulnerable with each other, we have a shorthand. I went on a first date with a man who is 42, I think. And he said, I'm jealous of the kinship of women. And I said, What does that mean? And he said, I love that you can compliment each other in the street, start a conversation, and then it seems like you've been friends all your lives. Men don't have that. There's no male version of that. And I'd never thought about it that way. Like, what do you mean, kinship? But then I thought, of course, in like the bathrooms of birds or out in the street, or if we think someone's in danger, just kind of engaging them in conversation, making sure they're okay. We have each other's backs. And based on what this man told me, he said, you know, we don't have that. I thought that's interesting.

SPEAKER_01 21:56

It is. And I think, you know, again, I don't want to. Get too deep on this topic, but I think that also goes back because women like we have to support each other because you know I I I'm like a a CEO and you know, coming into you know a man's world, you have to fight really hard and you have to prove yourself. So it's great when women are supporting each other. And I like if I see a beautiful woman or a woman who like I love their hair, I love their outfit, or I love what they're doing, or whatever it is, like love your shoes. I always make a point, always, because we need that, right? Yep. And uh, you know, this is just a side note, but my daughter and I did go to the Aeros tour, and uh it was incredible. That whole vibe, like, you know, people can have their opinion of Taylor Swift, but I have to say, like everybody was complimenting everybody, you know. It's like, I love your outfit, oh my gosh, your hair looks so great. Oh my god, that's the best costume. And like, do you want a bracelet? Here's a bracelet. And my daughter and I met so many moms and daughters from uh all around the world, like, you know, women do that because we had to support each other. Absolutely. And we still do, like we have to be each other's cheerleaders. Um, and you know, I guess it goes back to maybe men, like, especially when you think about sports and stuff, that's how they would be in the locker room. Like, good job, man, good job, good play, good play. We as women just do that outside of the locker room. We do it all the time.

SPEAKER_00 23:31

And one thing I've noticed as we get older, I don't know if you've noticed this as well, that because I'm older than you. No, I certainly as we get older. Um, I don't even see us as that different, to be honest. But um, but like I feel like young men that I knew back when I was in my teens and my twenties had a group of friends, but as they grow up, as they get married, I feel like they lean more and more on their primary partner for that emotional support. That's like, oh, this is my best friend, this is the one that I confide in. And then sometimes their network, their friends kind of fall by the wayside or they move away and they don't make a larger effort to keep in touch with those people. You know, it's it's maybe it turns into more casual acquaintance, check-in sometimes via text where I feel like that's maybe missing in their life. Now, I'm not not all men, but some of the men that I've met, I've noticed that happens as they get up into their 50s and 60s, especially if they're not divorced, if they've been in a long-term relationship for like 10, 20, 25 years, then it's about wife and kids, and then kind of maybe some parents on the periphery of that a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 24:39

Lots of changes when you know life gives you uh, you know, a curveball. And whether it's, you know, you know, some people on our on our podcast, our group of strong women, you talk about losing their job and like losing that work family. You know, it's it's kind of the same when you divorce, right? You're losing that group of people that you spent so much time with and you have all these memories with. So it's it's about that reinvention and like who are we now? Like, who are we without work or who are we without our partner?

SPEAKER_00 25:12

And yeah, and and how do we redefine ourselves within that? Because I definitely I don't think of myself as a status-driven person, but I was very much defining myself by my job and by my partner, my family, because we've been together. I was married for eight years, but we were together for 14. So, you know, kind of similar timeline to you. And uh it's strange to be stripped of that and then stand back and say, well, what even am I now? Because I'm unemployed, I'm separated, I'm a single mother. It's such a bizarre thing. And then, you know, how do you pick yourself up and redefine yourself and try to choose your own path? I mean, I felt like I was in emotional free fall for a while, and obviously therapy helped ground me, but it's not easy.

SPEAKER_01 25:59

Yeah, well, that would have been scary. I mean, losing your financial stability. Yes, and then leaving your relationship. So, I mean, you're very brave and strong to do that and making the right decisions for you and ultimately your daughter, you know, like you don't want her to grow up thinking that this is status quo in a relationship. It's okay.

SPEAKER_00 26:19

Yeah. Oh no, that's so true. Because I think actually I was listening to Kelly Clarkson talk about how uh on her talk show that her kids, you know, when your kids look at your relationship, that's that's the first relationship they'll ever see is is their parents. And how do you want that to look for them? How do you want to model healthy, reciprocal partnership and love to them? And I mean, if you're cold with each other, if you're fighting, if you're icing each other out, what are they gonna think? They're that's their normal. Whatever, however you are, that's their normal. So when I thought about that, I thought, okay, I can't. I can't do this. I can't. Yeah. And uh, because we just, even though we were in this small house, I felt like we were existing in two different realms. I am grateful that as hard as it was that I decided to walk away when my daughter was three and a half, because she, for better or for worse, she doesn't remember a time when we were together. Uh-huh. So she's very resilient. She's used to having change in her life, and she's very much accustomed to going back and forth between the houses. So I am lucky in that she's she's a strong little girl and she's she's able to handle it. Like this is her life. Yep. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:29

Yeah. And that's all they know. I actually had that conversation with my 22-year-old yesterday. We were driving back from New Glasgow and we were just talking. I I made a comment about like when her dad and I were together, and she's like, she was eight, and my son was three when we split up. And she's like, Mom, I don't remember you and dad together. Wow. And I was like, wow. And part of me was like, Oh, that's kind of sad. But then I'm like, well, it's good because she like she loves like her dad's new partner and her step sibling, like, through that relationship. And like my kids are so grounded and so stable. And my ex and I have such a great relationship, and you know, we're just we we work on their needs rather. I mean, obviously, when they were smaller, we had a strict schedule because we want to create that stability, but as they get older, it's like, you know, they want to go to their dad's for an extra night or stay here for an extra night or switch days around because they want to hang out with their friends. Like, it's not about mine and his ego or needs, it's about what's best for our kids. Uh, you know, I'm I'm really proud of the work that we did. I mean, it was hard. It was a hard, like it wasn't easy. Um when you first take time. Yeah, it took a lot of time, but we were both so focused on our kids and making sure that they had what they needed. It was just interesting when you said, like, you know, your daughter doesn't remember because she was three. And I'm like, my daughter was eight and doesn't remember.

SPEAKER_00 29:00

Yeah, which is crazy. Yeah. But I do think looking back, that is a good thing. I mean, it's kind of they acclimatize quickly. And I mean, similar to your situation, my ex-partner is uh lives with his partner. I really like her. Um, my daughter loves her, and I wanted her to have siblings, but we separated when she was three and a half. So now she does have a stepbrother. They are very opposite personalities, which is hilarious. She's very extroverted and bubbly like me, and he's an introvert and sometimes acts like a little old man, just like shaking his head at her and saying, Here we go again. But he's very sweet and they get on quite well. So it makes me happy that she's still able to have that experience, even though her dad and I didn't stay together. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:45

Oh, that's great.

SPEAKER_00 29:46

Yeah, that's wonderful.

SPEAKER_01 29:47

This is the first episode of our first season. That's right. Hopefully for too many. That's right. And uh this season is all about what women learn the hard way.

SPEAKER_00 30:00

This has been Sheep Shed Unfiltered, where midlife isn't polished, it's real. From divorce and career pivots to perimenopause and everything no one warns us about. These are the honest conversations we've lived, survived, and shared with you today. Until next time, stay brave, be curious, and keep it unfiltered.