Episode 3: Silence is an answer

What happens after the door closes — when the noise fades, the shock wears off, and you’re left reaching for answers that never come? 

In this deeply honest episode Donna and Meg unpack the quiet devastation that follows emotional abandonment, separation, and the end of long-term relationships. They talk about grief that doesn’t follow neat stages, the pain of unanswered questions, and the moment you realize you were the only one still holding on.

Through personal stories of divorce, breakup, single motherhood, and reinvention, this conversation explores the raw middle — the part no one prepares you for. 

In this episode, they explore: 

• Why silence isn’t confusion — it’s information 
• The myth of the “five stages” of grief 
• Begging for answers and not getting them 
• Emotional shutdown and unmet needs in long-term relationships 
• What respectful endings should look like 
• How separation can lead to rediscovering yourself 
• Why relationships ending doesn’t mean they failed 

This episode is for women navigating heartbreak, divorce, grief, and the slow rebuilding of self — honest, validating, and deeply human. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to Cheesehed Unfiltered. This is not a podcast for perfect women or polite conversations. This is for the women who've been divorced, dismissed, burnt out, betrayed, and still somehow managed to show up, get shit done, and keep everyone else still alive. There'll be laughter, there may be tears, and you might even say, did they really say that shit? Just real women, real stories, and the kind of honesty that usually happens after the second glass of wine. The first season of She Shed Unfiltered is about the things we learned the hard way. The lessons no one warned us about. The moments that changed us. Whether we were ready or not. I'm Donna and I'm Meg. Welcome to episode three. Silence isn't confusing. Silence is information. There's a moment after something ends where the noise fades. After someone walks out, there's a phase nobody prepares you for. You're not crying, you're not in shock, but you're still reaching. Reaching for answers, reaching for decency, reaching for the version of them you thought was real. And then one day, something snaps. I realized I was the only one holding the thread. The text, the wondering, the waiting for an explanation that was never coming. And that's when it hit me. Silence isn't confusing. Silence is information. That was his answer. I think this is the part where people usually say, Well, that's just grief. And yeah, it is. But not the neat Instagram version of grief. We're taught the stages of grief, like they're steps, like you move through them in order to eventually arrive somewhere called acceptance. But here's what no one tells you. You don't go through them once, you don't go through them in order, and you don't graduate from them. You circle them, you revisit them, and sometimes you hit three in the same day. I remember the day, like the day he left, and like literally you see that in the movies, like that cry, that scream, like that horror movie scream that you almost don't even recognize when you're when you're doing it. Like I think I actually destroyed my voice box that day. Like I just couldn't believe that he was gone. Like gone. And um, and so you go through the I think I went through like every aspect of grief that day, like the anger, the disbelief, the like, you know, it was surreal, right? The whole thing. But but yeah, I absolutely remember like feeling distraught, depressed, anger, and then that like fuck him. Like, I could like whatever, right? But you just go through all of that, and and like the day is just so like I'll never I don't think I'll ever forget that day, and I don't think I'll ever forget that scream that I let out. And uh yeah, it was if that's grief, I definitely experienced it. Yeah, it must just be burned in your memory because it's so intense.

SPEAKER_00 3:15

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, when uh when my marriage ended, it it was different from your story because I was seeing a therapist, I had two back-to-back sessions, and my husband at the time knew what I was talking about, and it was him. Really? Yeah, and I was very transparent. I was like, we're talking about the marriage since basically, since you know, you won't talk to me about it and you refuse to go to couples counseling, I'm gonna get my own counseling. And we had basically myself and my therapist had come to the realization that this marriage is over and it's been over for a while, and I have just been in denial and and steeped in guilt over not wanting to break up the family because my daughter was three at the time, so it felt cruel and unusual for me to hurt two people. It felt selfish. Uh, you know, how dare I try to, you know, pursue my own version of happiness and not feel like I'm sleepwalking through my life. So I think we waited until Kate was in bed, and then we sat on the couch and we're having a late dinner together, which we'd made. And I said, you know, I have to talk to you about this. And I told him, and that's when he said he wanted to go into couples counseling, which I thought, shoot, right? After we'd been kind of circling around the drain for months, he finally brings this up and I said, I'm really sorry, it's it's too late, I can't do this. And then I broke down and cried, and he is very uncomfortable around negative emotions. I think it's partly because he's autistic, he kind of shuts down. And I've I've heard from a friend who has an autistic daughter, I believe it's called flat facing, where you're feeling something deeply, but you don't externalize it, you just kind of go almost poker face. Right. So it was just like it felt like I was the only one breaking down, and he was fine with everything, which made it harder, and that made anger bubble up for sure. Thinking, like, how is this not impacting you in the deep way it's impacting me? We've been together 14 years, we have a child together, and I said, You know, I can't believe our relationship is ending, and he said, It's not ending. And then I looked at him and said, What do you mean? And he said, It's just changing, huh? And I thought, wow, that's a very zen thing to say in this moment where I'm losing my shit emotionally. Yeah, um, and I said, Yeah, I guess so. And then we just kind of sat there and quietly ate dinner and watched TV. It was such a bizarre thing. Wow. It was a bizarre energy to sit in.

SPEAKER_01 5:55

Did he ever show emotion? Like when you guys were I mean, I'm just assuming you you both moved out of the home you were living in, or you moved out, obviously.

SPEAKER_00 6:05

I moved out, yeah. Good question. He never in front of me showed any emotion, which made it very difficult for me because I just didn't know where his head was at. He's he has kind of a rich internal life and didn't share most of his emotions with me. So it was a lot of me kind of assuming based on his behavior where his head was at, because he wouldn't divulge very much. I moved out of the house, he stayed. I just felt like there was kind of bad juju in that space. So I basically left all the furniture there. I just took kind of bare essentials, my clothing and things like that, and and started over in a small apartment. It was pretty bizarre. When I went to Walmart to get all of my stuff, they thought I was a university student because I was literally buying like toilet plunger and just all of the things at once.

SPEAKER_01 7:00

Well, it's nice they thought you were a university student.

SPEAKER_00 7:02

I was flattered and then I just deadpanned I'm getting a divorce and that shut the cashier on the right town. It was like, oh never mind, here's your receipt.

SPEAKER_01 7:13

Yeah, it's hard like when you don't get that emotion back from them, right? Like I remember again, like someday I hope I don't remember any of it, but I'd be nice, right? Um, but I remember the day that he was coming to pick up his stuff, and and I I literally like he was sitting on the couch and I was on my knees with my hands on his or yeah, my on my knees with my hands on his knees saying, please don't do this, like please don't do this. Yeah, and now I'm embarrassed. I'm like, I was begging him, like on my hands and knees, begging him to talk to me, like talk to me, tell me what's going on. And then he just said, like, I'm working on stuff, I'm working on stuff for our future, I'm working. But it wasn't for us, right? Like when you're together and you're working on our future, there's dialogue going back and forth. And and I knew like we always did this, like we had this like 30-second hug rule, like when we came home from work or whatever, it was like you have to hug for at least 30 seconds. So I asked him for a hug, and you know, we hugged, and I could just tell he was done. It felt different, it felt different, right? And like he kissed me goodbye, like he kissed me, but it wasn't like it was a goodbye kiss, right? And um, but yeah, I just remember like the panic, like begging him, like, don't go, don't the minute you take your stuff out, that's like there's no coming back from I mean, there is coming back.

SPEAKER_00 8:47

You were fighting for your relationship, no, and also fighting for some kind of understanding of what was going on, and I don't think you really got that, which is so tough to process.

SPEAKER_01 8:58

Yeah, like it's just it's just bizarre. And like I remember going back to my marriage, like my ex-husband and I were together for 16 years and married for 13, and I was the one who ended the relationship, and you know, I think you know, you I hit 40 and I was like I had a young baby, and I was like, is this what life is? Like you come home, you're you know, we're passing each other in the hallway, it's like kids are bath, lunches are made, like there was no conversation, there was no laughter, it was just about the kids, it's just about the kids, right? Yeah, and I thought if this is what life's about, like God, I don't want to be like I want I want more. And you know, it was really hard when I told him, and you know, we had that you know, that he had that his stages of anger, but I remember when it finally like we both realized it, we were sitting at the dining room table and we just both started crying and hugged each other and just said this is so sad, and we're like, Yeah, it is so sad. And and you know, that's that's what you expect after a long-term relationship is respectful conversation, yes, even if it's hard, right?

SPEAKER_00 10:20

Like it was hard to tell my ex-husband that I want out of the marriage, of course, and you have this long shared history together in kids, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 10:29

But to to not give him that kind of respect, or for my ex-partner to not give me the respect of a conversation, I just again uh like I don't I don't want to dwell on it. It's just like who the fuck does that? Like you're an adult, like talk to the person. Like yeah, it's just it really messes with you.

SPEAKER_00 10:56

And it makes you realize in that moment too, who in your life is good at handling conflict and who can't, who just shuts down and is avoidant and say, Okay, I'm peacing out, I can't deal with this. Right. And it's really depressing when you hit those moments with people that you really care about. Like, oh, you're really you're just checking out, you're just gone.

SPEAKER_01 11:18

Yeah. Oh yeah. I remember like, I remember that must be my tagline every time. I remember, my gosh, I remember. Um, but you know, afterwards you're going and you're looking back at things, and you know, he said to me one time when he told his ex-wife that he wanted a divorce, she was blindsided, and he was like, he couldn't believe that she was blindsided. I now understand how she was blindsided, she was totally blindsided. I mean, I probably can't say that because this is about us and not about her, but we'll decide later whether or not we keep it.

SPEAKER_00 12:00

That's all right. We may or may not. I'll I'll consult with the lawyers. Well, when you were leaving your ex-husband, did you feel in that moment he was blindsided, or were you both feeling kind of similar ways, but you were the one who communicated it?

SPEAKER_01 12:13

He said he was blindsided, but he really wasn't. Like the the year prior, like I told him in February of 2012, in May of 2011, we were in counseling and I had asked him to move out for a week or so. And you know, so there like we were struggling. Right. Um, but I think I think he thought that we would be okay.

SPEAKER_00 12:38

Right, they could get through it, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:39

Yeah, and I think, well, obviously we didn't get through it, but we did make a pact that our kids would come first, and you know, as hard as it was for both of us, like even though it was my decision, I still grieved that future, like, you know, sitting on the front porch in our rocking chairs, watching our grandkids, because it's different. Like, I'm a child of divorce, and it's different. Like, you're you don't have you'll never find anyone who's going to love your kids as much as their father, of course, right? Or their mother. So, yes, you can have a partner who loves and respects your children, but that connection is different, is different, right? And so I was grieving that future that I thought we'd have, and all the kids coming home for Christmas, and all the grandkids, and seeing like nanny and papa or whatever. And so I was grieving that, but I again just I was just life was just so mundane, and and I guess maybe it was like the midlife crisis. I don't know. I just I it was like this is can't be what life's about, like getting up, going to work, coming home, doing X, Y, and Z, and having and having no life outside of that. Like who was who's Donna, right? And uh you lose yourself, right?

SPEAKER_00 14:08

And I think our stories are parallel in that way, even age-wise, we were close because I was 39 when I walked away from my marriage, and we'd been together 14 years, all told, married for eight, and I felt exactly the same way that you did. Is this all there is? I felt like almost suffocated sometimes, like my life was getting smaller. My daughter was kind of my one source of joy. Uh, you know, she was three and amazing, but I wanted us to spend time together as a family, and he felt that it was more practical if one of us was with our daughter and the other was being productive. This is when you were together? Well, we were together, so like one of us would be with the with Kate, and the other would be um cleaning the house or running errands. It was this very practical concern, and I just wanted to have quality time together as a family. That's why I wanted a family. And when we did, on the rare occasions we did go out together, he seemed very reluctant and kind of disconnected and would rather be tinkering in the basement. Wow. And it was so depressing. So, like, I want to be with someone who wants to be with me and my daughter and doing fun stuff together.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

Yeah. Do you find that you're a better mom on your own than you were married? Oh, that's a great question.

SPEAKER_00 15:29

I think in the beginning I was too indulgent because that mom guilt creeps in because I initiated the separation. So I think in the early days I was giving my daughter too much, kind of too many things. But I feel like now I am a better parent and I'm trying to be more intentional with our time together because I cherish it so much because I miss her like mad when she's not with me. I only get to see her 50% of the time. And I mean, five, six years on, I still struggle with that, especially around holidays. But I do think that I'm a more present parent than I was before for sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:07

Yeah, I felt that too. I, you know, I had that guilt because I was the one who chose to leave the marriage. Yes. And I had more guilt around my son because he was three. And I'm like, uh I'm taking a boy away from his dad. Right. Right. And and I mean, we had 6040s, and they still saw their dad, but I don't know, that family unit, right? Having mom and dad. And I remember my daughter crying, it's probably a year into the separation, and she said, I just feel so sad going to my friend's house because their moms and dads are together and mine aren't. And it was just like a knife going into my heart and saying, like, you selfish woman, like you selfish woman, like who cares about your happiness? Like, right, you just like shattered your kids for what? For how like for your happiness? Like, sacrifice, yeah, you know, I should have sacrificed it. But now, like, even a few years later, after the separation, especially my oldest son, he noticed, he's like, You're mom, like you're so relaxed. Like, oh wow, yeah. He and he's like, You're so fun. And he goes, There was so much tension. So he would have been like 16 when we divorced or separated. Um, and he noticed like how there was so much tension in the house. And I'm like, Really? I'm like, I I thought we were hiding it, and he said, No, like it was just so obvious. And he goes, You're so much happier. And and dad, like, especially now, like in his relationship, like I see it, like his partner is the right person for him, like, absolutely the right person. And you know, as hard as the separation was, I think the universe has has a plan for us, and I think him and his partner are we're meant for each other. And and even the kids say that, like, you know, dad and his partner, like they're so you can tell, like, they're so connected. And I'm like, that's like fantastic. And there's no like there's no jealousy for me over that. I mean, I'm disappointed that you know I don't have that kind of relationship anymore, but I'm so yet. No, never. Um, I'm gonna be like a golden girl and my girlfriends, we're just all gonna live together. That's right.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

Yeah, actually, that does sound fun.

SPEAKER_01 18:38

It does sound fun, right? But yeah, no, I think that's but the kids like you don't realize that tension that you're trying to hide.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

Yeah, and you don't realize all the emotional nuance that they pick up on. It's crazy, like they don't miss a bead.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

No.

SPEAKER_00 18:52

So, I mean, perfect example of that is my daughter was three and a half when we were separating, and I we were living together for 11 months due to the pandemic, and I think we were both equally nervous about what that would look like with a shared custody situation and a really bad pandemic and potentially bringing COVID into the house, etc. So, you know, grateful that I was able to see my daughter every day during that period, but I stopped wearing my wedding ring, and my daughter started asking me. She said, Where is your marrying ring? Put your marrying ring on. And she, which just broke me hearing her say that, and we had a book that we got specially printed of our wedding with all the photography in it, and she kept asking to see that. Oh wow, and I didn't really want to show it to her because it made me very emotional, uh, because the separation was still fresh, and uh, it's like deep, even though she was so young, she knew something was off and just was her little brain was trying to understand um what was going on. So I certainly you couldn't pay me any amount of money to revisit those days. It was so stressful. I know, right?

SPEAKER_01 20:04

Yeah, it's hard to look back when you're when you're going through it, like you think, am I ever gonna get through this? How am I going to do this? And then being the single parent, like trying to get home from work, get to daycare, you know, get dinner ready, go to soccer practice, and you're just like, How am I going to do this? Like it's overwhelming. Yeah, yeah. I remember thinking, like, I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't, but you do it, you know, and you have good support. I was very fortunate. My sister came up and stayed with me for a few months.

SPEAKER_00 20:37

Oh, did she?

SPEAKER_01 20:38

She did, yeah. So I was really, really uh that helped a lot. And my mom was up a lot, so I had a lot of support. I was gonna say, were your parents local? My mom lives in New Glasgow. Uh yeah, okay. Yeah, so um, so and she was retired at that time, so she was able to come up and help. And my sister was her husband worked, she lived in Cape Breton, but her husband worked out in Fort Mac at the time, and so she was home alone, and she just came up and stayed with me, and the kids loved having her around. Um, so yeah, so that was that was uh a a time for sure. It was a different time, it was a different time, a different place, a different time. But you know, just comparing, I guess, going through like two separations, even though you know I wasn't married the second time, it was a committed relationship. Of course, and now I'm like, I feel like I have those two like red marks, like the scarlet letter, two fail relationships.

SPEAKER_00 21:39

But that's so that's so you're being so hard on yourself though, because I feel like uh everyone has relationships that didn't work out. Like, what is it? Do you know the sex columnist Dan Savage? Oh yeah, from Savage Love. Yeah, yeah. So he he always says, like, you know, every relationship doesn't work out until one does. He said, you know, we shouldn't consider it a failure because you're always learning something from it as you move through it and onto your next relationship, right? So I feel like, you know, we're so black and white with how we characterize relationships, it either worked out or it failed. Right. Right. So I I've been, I think that's been part of my journey trying to accept that, you know, people say, oh, well, your marriage failed. I'm like, well, did it? We outgrew we outgrew each other. Right. And and similar to your situation with your ex-husband, he is now with someone who's much better for him. Like they're two Ps and a pod, they get on really well. My daughter now has a stepbrother, they get on really well. So I'm grateful for that. It's awesome. They all live together. Um, although the kids are in and out, of course. But um, so my therapist, yeah, she was trying to get me to kind of characterize the marriage as like kind of a failed attempt or failed effort. And I said, I can't call it that because my daughter was a result of it. Right. And I can't imagine my life without her. So I can't, I can't call it a failure because you know it it wasn't. And I mean, honestly, like the first 10 years were really good. So it was just becoming parents that I realized we were very different in ways I hadn't anticipated, which you don't know how your partner's gonna co-parent until you're in it together, right? Right. So um, yeah, I just I don't consider it a failure. Although obviously early days I absolutely did. I considered myself a failure for ending it, right? It's like you beat up yourself so much and say, Why can't I just stick it out and figure out a way through? But I mean, sometimes the braver move is just to acknowledge that there is no way to stay together and both be happy, satisfied humans. Right.

SPEAKER_01 23:50

And you look at your partner, like I remember looking at my ex-husband and going, he can't be happy either. Like, there's no way like that he is happy. So I, you know, I and and you look back and like that identity crisis, right? You're you're mourning the person that you were before you got married, like the carefree 20-year-old, which you know, we can't stay that way forever. But I think you can still honor yourself and you can still like it's okay to put yourself first, even though you're a parent, you know, maybe not all the time, but I think it's important. We need we need that time. And when I asked you, um what did I ask you about about um do you find that you're a better mom now that you're a single mom versus like in a relationship? Like I absolutely 100% when my kids were younger and we first split up, absolutely I was a better mom. I I mean I still feel like I'm a better mom outside of the relationship, the marriage. Um, but I I think it was because I actually had time for myself, right? Right? The the days that they had gone to their dads. Absolutely, right? And like the first weekend my kids went to their dad's, I didn't even I came home from work, the house was so empty. I put my pajamas on, I made nachos, and I stayed on the couch all weekend watching Netflix. And then eventually, like the second weekend, I think I got dressed on the Saturday and went shopping, and then you start to get into this routine. It's like, okay, now Saturday mornings when I don't have the kids, I go to the gym, I go to brunch with my friends, I do I do things that I enjoy rather than what the kids are enjoying, so that when the kids came home, it was all about them because I had that break for myself.

SPEAKER_00 25:45

And your cup is full, right?

SPEAKER_01 25:46

Exactly, right? And and I had met, I had a relationship in between my marriage and my engagement, and he lived in Vancouver and worked in Halifax, so it was like the perfect relationship. He was here three weeks, gone three weeks, you know. I only saw him when I didn't have my kids, and it just kept that excitement going, right? Yeah, but like you said, relationships aren't failures. I think each one kind of teaches you like my marriage taught me what I I wanted, right? And then that three-year relationship helped me push boundaries that I never thought, like it, you know, just even being carefree and spontaneous and and not have you know, going away and not ha like it was just it was an experience that helped me grow as a person and it gave me confidence and you know, some adventure side and pushing. I you know, I was very much uh I you know, I stayed inside this box. Like as a mom, you should look like this, do this, do that, and and I and it took me outside that box. And then my last relationship, you know, there was a law, it taught me patience and and um, you know, putting other people first, and so yeah, I totally agree. Relationships when they end, they're not failures, they're just lessons.

SPEAKER_00 27:11

Yeah, and and that's that's a great way to frame it. And I think it also helps us as women, you know, I don't know about you, but I feel like I was raised to be kind of follow a certain set of rules, etiquette, and to be diplomatic and to not necessarily always put our needs first. And I feel like the more I put myself out there and date or get into a relationship, the better I'm able to advocate for my own needs and set expectations and boundaries up front, which I think is so important for a relationship that will last. So, but I I didn't used to be as good at that, especially um especially advocating for my needs, whether that's communication or in the bedroom or really any aspect of a relationship. And then sometimes you you lose yourself piece by piece if you give that agency to someone else. Right. And resentment can build up over time. So I am, even though I'm technically single right now, I feel much more self-assured that I can vouch for myself and make sure that you know I don't get steamrolled by someone that I want to date. Right, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:17

I feel the same way. Like I again not really ready to date, but I'm very clear about who I want to date and how I want to date, right? And I again it goes back to like that lived experience, but I'm I'm looking for a unicorn. So if there's any out there, um, please let me know because uh, you know, it's I don't ever want to lose myself again. And I and I think the person, you know, what kind of scares me is I think about the person I was before I entered into this last relationship, and I don't think I'll ever see that version of Donna again. Right. You know, I was very my friends called me fun Donna, and I was always the one to like get the party started and have fun, and and like my trust level in the human race was very high, and um, you know, always wanting to like help people and you know celebrate them, and I mean that's just who I was, and I don't know if I'll ever be that person again. Obviously, I'm gonna be Fondana, but um I don't know if I will be that giving and that vulnerable ever again. I think this may have closed me up a little bit, maybe not. I mean you never say never, but I I do feel I do mourn the version of me uh uh seven years ago, and and and I fear that I might not see her again. And she was I really liked her. But maybe the person who's going to come out of this is even better, better version of me. It's hell, it's it's very the version of me now. I've I've seen like how resilient I can be. Yep. The strength, like not only did I go through my breakup, so 2025, it was an unbelievable year. Yeah. Um, my car caught fire, my well collapsed, cost $34,000. My sister passed away, yeah. And um, and my dog was diagnosed with terminal cancer. So you like it's been a year for sure. And you know, people look at me and they're like, I don't know how you got through that. Like, I would never have been able to get through that. And I'm like, I didn't have a choice, like you don't have a choice, no, right? You have to keep going, keep going. And it builds it builds resilience and it builds strength, but you know, it's not like I started out like, oh, just give me give me everything because I'm strong and I can take whatever comes my way.

SPEAKER_00 31:01

I I didn't want to take whatever came my way, and sometimes you just don't want all of the life lessons like, can I just take a breather and relax for a minute?

SPEAKER_01 31:09

Yeah, yeah. I remember being out in the backyard and I'm like, universe, I like what what more can I learn? Like, what else are you testing me on? I'm good, I'm good, right? So, um, but yeah, it's trying to figure out who you are and that reinvention, and and I don't want this to be sad, I want this to be uplifting.

SPEAKER_00 31:30

Well, right, I think 2026 is a new chapter, a new chance, and we have She Shed Unfiltered now. Yes, we do, and we're building our community, so I mean I am optimistic for you.

SPEAKER_01 31:44

I am optimistic for me, and I'm I I went into the new year like feeling lighter and happier, and you know, I have I have my sister looking out for me, and um she's going to haunt my ex for like for as long as she can, she promised. Amazing, yep. Um, but uh, but yeah, no, 2026 feels good. We're building a really strong community of women, networking, and again, that goes back to women supporting women, and never has it been more true for me in my personal experience than the last 11, 12 months. Right, right?

SPEAKER_00 32:24

Absolutely, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:26

Like we talked about with the relationships not being a failure, but more of a learning opportunity. Like, you know, I think we learn we learn lessons every day. We're learning something different, and I think the lessons uh that I've learned through the last year or even the last few months is or even today, you know, how strong women are and and the resilience that we show and and parents as a as a mom, you know, you keep going for your kids and and also I'm so blank right now.

SPEAKER_00 33:14

Yeah, I think what I take away from this episode is you know, you each relationship you have, you learn to advocate for yourself in a better way. Understand how you need and want to be loved and how your partner needs and wants to be loved. And one mistake that I've made in the past is um rounding someone up to the one when they're really like a 0.2 instead of the one. So it's like don't force it, like go with the flow. If it's not working, it's not working, and you have to acknowledge that and try to respectfully move on. So I'm bringing, I'm definitely bringing that lesson into uh into future relationships. Just don't don't force it. If it works, it works. If it doesn't, it is okay to walk away and not feel guilty about it.

SPEAKER_01 34:05

That's a great lesson. You know, that advocating for yourself and knowing, knowing what you want and what you need and what will what will work for you and what won't, and not compromising.

SPEAKER_00 34:18

Exactly. And we'd love to hear from you, She Shed Crew. What do you feel what are your non-negotiables in a relationship when you're starting to date someone? We would love to uh hear your stories as well.

SPEAKER_01 34:33

Thanks for joining us for our third episode, and um we look forward to seeing you next time.

SPEAKER_00 34:43

This has been She Shed Unfiltered, where midlife isn't polished, it's real. From divorce and career pivots to perimenopause and everything no one warned us about, these are the honest conversations we've lived, survived, and shared with you today. Until next time, stay brave, be curious, and keep it unfiltered.