Episode 5: Dating Through Younger Eyes

Note: Due to recording with multiple guests in the Shed, audio quality may vary slightly in this episode. Thank you for sticking with us — the conversation is worth it.

Dating didn’t just change — it was rebuilt.

Three university-aged women pull back the curtain on what dating actually looks like in their 20s: apps, expectations, pressure, and emotional reality.

This isn’t about judging the younger generation — it’s about understanding the world our kids, nieces, nephews, and future selves are navigating.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Welcome to Shape Dead Unfiltered. This is not a podcast for perfect women or polite conversations. This is for the women who've been divorced, dismissed, worked out, betrayed, and still somehow managed to show up, get shit done, and keep everyone else still alive. There'll be laughter, there may be tears, and you might even say, did they really say that shit? Just real women, real stories, and the kind of honesty that usually happens after the second glass of wine. The first season of She Shed Unfiltered is about the things we learned the hard way. The lessons no one warned us about. The moments that changed us. Whether we were ready or not. Welcome to episode five, where we talk about dating and apps. We're gonna talk about how they work in your 20s versus 40s and 50s. I'm Donna. And I'm Meg. And today's episode, we're doing something a little different. And I'm really excited about this one. We have our first guests in the shed. Yay. And we're gonna talk about dating and dating apps. How about you, Meg?

SPEAKER_03 1:14

Uh, why don't we go around and introduce our special guest stars? So, ladies, do you want to lean into the mic and let us know who you are and how old you are?

SPEAKER_04 1:26

Okay, hi. My name is Ella. I'm 21 years old and I'm currently dingle.

SPEAKER_02 1:33

Hi, I'm Becca. I'm also 21 years old, and I'm also very single. I'm Lexi, I'm 22 years old, and I do excited to have you guys in here.

SPEAKER_00 1:47

Um, like trying and find a guy.

SPEAKER_02 1:51

I feel like it depends on person. Definitely like for us, we're very outgoing and going out into bars is a great way to meet guys, but not really, because I'm gonna be a sister. They're just looking to hook up. So it's either bars, maybe you're finding a really good guy down there, or yeah, because no one will. Yeah, I have to agree, especially the no talking. I think bars are a great place. I think, especially as a woman, if you have, I don't know, the confidence to approach a guy, but I do find recently I'm approached less and less. Um, I don't think it has anything that's uh there's a slight lack of chivalry at the bars. Um, they are kind of for that one thing. Um, and on dating apps, it's great because you can meet with special ones that live in your typical inner circle, but it's still really tough like translating that relationship from online to offline in the world.

SPEAKER_04 2:46

Yeah, I agree with the both of them. I feel like it's like kind of difficult to just like meet people naturally nowadays. I feel like that's way more rare. And I feel like some dating apps like just feel like straight to like hooking up and like hook up culture, and like it's kind of like I don't know, I feel like there's kind of like no point in like some of these dating apps because like I don't know, like sometimes guys are yeah, I just look for one thing and it like so.

SPEAKER_00 3:14

So Becca, you said um that you don't get it approached as much. Do you think like university guys are looking for like the younger girls because they're more naive? Do you think a little bit more confidence and that kind of like maybe oozes out a little bit? Or like do you like what do you guys think of that?

SPEAKER_02 3:34

I think it's um sort of a combination of things. I do find as I've grown more confident in myself and I'm less willing to put up with rude behavior from men, I am approached a little bit less, I think a bit more intimidating. Um, but I do also think there's been a shift slightly in what people do when they go out. Like in first and second year, I would go out and it would kind of be everyone wants to get with each other. Um, and now it's everyone kind of just wants to stay within their group. So whether that'd be like five, um, five or six people, um, and especially with the guys, I have two older brothers, and they really annoyed us staying at home and watching football or going to the bar and sort of wreaking havoc as a group there, but not so much approaching girls.

SPEAKER_04 4:24

I need like I'm pretty clear with what I've like what I expect when it comes to like when I'm like very like high, like eyes on one thing and like for one of them, there's like I'm like a pretty funny person. It's like you can just get to know me and like I'm pretty funny, I can crackle those uh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:37

I also get to uh the point of having high standards now. I think as I don't know, I feel like I've learned a lot more from seeing other girls and from my friends having higher standards of themselves and being like, oh well, I actually want someone who's gonna treat me as act and like not just fulfill like one part of what I'm looking for. Um but I think there's sort of this underlying fear that I've noticed among some men that they're like, oh, this person's unattainable because I have to sort of play a role that's more than just you know taking them on a date or buying them drink. Like I actually have to satisfy them on an emotional level and have like respect for them and be well-mannered and chivalrous and be able to hold a conversation and show interest in you as a woman. And I think that's just being demanded a little bit more now from girls. And as a result, guys, instead of doing the work on themselves, are just kind of towering away in here and being emotionally unavailable, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:31

Yeah, a lot of emotional unavailable that's so I love to hear you say that because Donna and I were talking about that in the last episode, how emotional intelligence is really important to us and emotional availability. Don't misrepresent yourself. And I think it is at any age, it's so important to have standards for yourself and to hold to those standards because you deserve it, right? So I'm really curious. You a few of you said, you know, oh, the apps are not where it's at, not having a great experience. I would love to know which apps you've been on and what your experiences have have been like, and and what you feel is potentially discouraging about them.

SPEAKER_00 6:12

Well, um the dating app that I was on or I am with my boyfriend. Did you meet your boyfriend on a dating app or in like a solid? I'll get there. So my name's Donna.

SPEAKER_02 6:23

Well, the dating apps that I have been on have been Tinder and Hey, and there's a very dating time. Yes, I did in fact meet my boyfriend on Tinder. Awesome. But I mean, I had a really good experience on Tinder, obviously. Um Yeah, I feel like Tinder is very all the responses that I got on Tinder are more of like to want to come over and like Netflix chill. And I'm like, no, no, I don't actually. Like I would really like to go out and make sit up to the Xbox. Exactly. Um But yeah, I did meet my boyfriend on Tinder, but I feel like that was I don't really know.

SPEAKER_00 6:59

Like I mean, could like I mean there's like great people on dating apps, just weeding rules and stuff, like pitty ones, time and patience.

SPEAKER_02 7:10

I was showing them today when I first got on Tinder. Tinder was my first dating app that I arrived in a home. Yeah, I would have been eight, I was 18. You knew I was on dating apps. I know, it's just like whoa. But I remember one of the first responses I got from a guy. The first thing that he asked me, he didn't ask my name, he didn't ask how old I was, he didn't ask was are you over? That was the first question he asked you. Yeah, they're Ziri baby on Yay.

SPEAKER_04 7:33

They say especially Tinder, they don't hold they do not hold it's like there's no sense of like embarrassment at all. Yeah, like they don't actually said was like anywhere like out of pocket. I think they're like, yeah, like I'm entitled to saying this.

SPEAKER_02 7:48

Like, let me just say it and like and that's we're all here for the same reason, so it's fine for me to say this maybe outlandish. Also, if you hurt a guy's feelings on Tinder, oh they will come back with something. I fire Oh yeah, right? Oh yeah, no, I had a guy say, Oh, well, you know what? I don't like girls with small boobs anyways because I turned him down. It's like you swiped on me. Yeah, you swept first, actually.

SPEAKER_04 8:14

No, as soon as yeah, as soon as you're like, no, like not feeling it, they're so quick to be like, Well, I didn't like you in this place. Well, I didn't even want this in the first place. They want to be the first line to let them down.

SPEAKER_02 8:25

Yeah, they want to be like they think they're so superior and they need every woman, like every guy is that every woman wants to. Like they are walking around the bar with so much confidence. I'm like, I love that you have confidence, but it needs to go down a layer because you're just yeah.

SPEAKER_04 8:38

And I I also notice like a little bit of a double standard when it comes to like girls and dating apps, is it like guys literally, unless they're always seeing a relationship, they will never delete like any sort of dating apps. Like they're always on dating apps, and then it's like if they see a girl on a dating app, it's like, why would you do that? It's like shameful, and it's like, why would you like suggest yourself to like uh like dating apps or whatever? And it's like you're on a dating app too. Like you're on Tinder and Hinge, and like my eye had a hinge, and I don't even have very long, and I just like started getting really creeped out when I had to delete it. So I was like, I don't want like it was just so weird. Like people were just like being weird, and also the same thing with Tinder, it's just like the most vulgar responses, and I'm just like, ugh, like I don't want to.

SPEAKER_02 9:18

It's just right, these just say like every guy out there is exactly because like where I started my friend, every man was exactly and it would be like that on Snapchat added a guy on Snapchat, it's the exact same guy, and we'll get maybe like that one percent of that guy that's actually wanting to go by and wanting to get to know.

SPEAKER_04 9:33

But that is so rare. Like like high school when it was like people, yeah, like people adding you on Snapchat, like completely random people. Like I noticed in like grade nine and ten when I was like starting to get into like social media and lightning, like social media accounts, like random people like adding you on Snapchat, and then they're like asking like pictures of you or like asking like to see like inside my photos of you, and I'm like literally who even are you? Like, I don't even know who you are, and you're like asking to like see, like it's just so like the audacity that they have is just like so like mind-bothering, and it's like hurting my.

SPEAKER_02 10:02

I think the phone, like it sort of introduces this sense of entitlement because we're not actually talking in person. So, and again, like we're both here for the same reason, so I can just advance these that you really heard, but like I guess on a more positive note, like I I do know who I met Wonderful Want, you met your boyfriend on Tinder. Um, I have a friend that met her boyfriend on Hinge and they go really well together. Um, so I think as you said before being able to weave it, it's just there's a lot of people on there that have to wear.

SPEAKER_00 10:31

They say you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your friends.

SPEAKER_02 10:35

Yeah, that is so yeah, and I think it's awesome because it is introducing you to people that you wouldn't otherwise really run into. Uh, I think especially in university, I mainly meet people with my friends or class, which is a great way to maybe meet a potential boyfriend too, but I get nervous that in person sometimes. So not drinking. Yeah, I really like to use hinge and I think having the boss on there and it being an important night.

SPEAKER_03 11:00

Is is hinge which one is the one where women can hack or what's so that's bumble, but apparently they changed their model because and I wondered if this goes back to like gender norms, but a lot of women were getting matched and not making the first move within 24 hours. So now I notice they made it like gender equal where one of you has to because I've been on Bumble recently, one of you has to make a move within like 24 hours, otherwise it expires, right? And then you like disconnect. I'm curious, girls, like what given like, yeah, Donna and I can so relate to your dating experiences on the apps. I mean, that's you are preaching to the choir, that has a hundred percent been my experience. And I think the hard thing is too, I noticed like the most men seem to be on Tinder. It seems to be the most popular app, but it's also there's so many, there's so many people just looking for hookups. So it's just like sifting through to find your person potentially. So right now in your 20s, what are you looking for? I'd love to find out like what kind of person would you date at this point?

unknown 12:06

What about that?

SPEAKER_03 12:06

That's hilarious. That's a weird question. It is, it is.

SPEAKER_04 12:10

Like the number one thing, like this is like kind of thought me because it's just like it's so like my head. But the number one thing that I like for is like you have to have a nice, like you have to have a really nice smile. Like, I can't look past like not having a straight teeth and like a straight smile. I yeah, and also like another thing that's like everyone also literally is like a good relationship like with their family and like within their like in like immediate family and also in a family. That's a good one. Yeah, I feel like that says a lot about who they are as a person, and like, yeah, I feel like you only think it'll be funny. Come on, like you have to make me laugh if I both have to be funny.

SPEAKER_01 12:45

Like for me, I'm very honest out very I think it's like logs a lot if I handle the old lady because I don't like my hands all that like to me, Austin.

SPEAKER_03 12:56

Did you hear that, Austin?

SPEAKER_01 12:57

You're perfect Austin, Austin. But yeah, like I really but I was literally me, bro. Like it like the word or like not putting like yes here with everyone, but I don't really know what I mean. It's just like very natural, like right, so that's like respect too, and also like a like because my friends don't like order any like I think that's a red leg, and we we as women sometimes ignore that, right?

SPEAKER_02 13:20

And I feel like too, like when you serve these one for some, you're just like obviously you like them, and that's all that like yeah, you got roasting like the honeymoon bases wallet. You don't see they can't do anything bad in your eye at all. And so I feel like it's really like that's probably my biggest my friends, and definitely like my mom too. My mom didn't like my last white friend, so yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:38

So I just feel like family friends like she does like your new boyfriend though. Uh she does. I heard, I heard one of the things I I'm actually really impressed um with you girls just saying like you have you know what you want and you're not gonna lower your standards. Like, uh, as everyone may uh may know, um, Lexi is my daughter. And one of the things I've always taught her is never to shrink for a guy. Like, you know, she is like who she is is amazing. And sometimes she is like loud and fun, and but I always said, like, if you can't, if you meet a guy and he doesn't want you to be that side of you, then fuck him. Because never shrink who you are for a man. And I'm super impressed, just like listening. I would I don't think I had that much self-awareness when I was 21 and 22. I didn't either. No, I just like I wanted a boyfriend, and I was like the tall, lanky one that with no boobs and no butt, and all my friends were getting all like I would go out with my my friends, and all the guys would be looking at them, and I'm just like all giraffe walking behind, you know. I was the funny one, like super funny, and and but nobody ever like desired that you that you knew of that I knew of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, but yeah, I'm super impressed that you guys have that self-awareness at 21 and 22.

SPEAKER_03 15:08

And it's important to have standards at any age. I agree, like every I agree with everything that you're saying, even though we are very different ages, but you have to go in with standards and hold the line, right? And it's there's nothing wrong with waiting a little bit until if you find someone who is a good fit for you.

SPEAKER_02 15:26

Yeah, and I think um a really big part in that because I mean we were all also at a point, like, ah, I just want a boyfriend and why like what's when is it my turn?

SPEAKER_04 15:35

Well, I was just gonna say, like, a part about like having standards and stuff. Like, I feel like a bit like a huge part of that definitely comes from like my mom and my sisters, like just like being like raised around like two older sisters, and like my mom is like super, like she's like so strong, and I feel like she always taught us like literally never ever settle for less, like you were saying, like no matter what. Like, there are people that go like years in their lives without like having a seat in other, and then like they finally are facing like something that's like that's worth like someone who's deserving of them and someone who's worth like them and who's worth trouble and like all the time weighted, like whatever. But yeah, I feel like that like a big part of that, like coming like obviously personally being like 21, like my mom definitely had like a huge, huge impact on like me like having high standards and like respect, like having respect for myself and not like and like actually seeing me like that's just like what like like Huberty and me was thinking, or like in me like last year, like being like not like boy crazy, but yeah, like being like, Oh, like all of my friends were getting into relationships, like why not me? Like, I feel like um like whatever like whatever he was, and I feel like sometimes that's a little bit like disurging, and it makes you not want to like put yourself out there and like not want to like go on dating apps and not want to like talk to guys because it's like oh well this is just gonna turn out the like everything else. But I feel like it's important to like like a couple of my friends are saying like something that I'm going through right now, like just see it through, like just see it through, like don't uh like immediately shut it down, like take your time with it and like just see what happens. And I feel like that's like pretty like also my friends were like I literally have like the best friends ever, and I feel like they also really help me when it comes to like knowing my worth. Like they remind me every single time, and it's like so like cheesy, but like they pick me up and like they're like so like happy to be my friends, and like they're proud to be my friends, and I feel like that is also a huge thing to me is like my friends make me already feel great about myself. Like you have like you have to live up to that. Like you have like you have like a man has so much to do to like you're like we're told my friends, like what my friendships and like what my girls meet.

SPEAKER_00 17:26

Yep. But and I mean that's what the that's how the shee shed actually became the podcast. And the shoe shed is about female friendship picking you up when you're at your lowest and like reminding you of your self-worth and who you are and how strong you are, and um, and so I love I love hearing that. And I think that you know, I've also said this to Lexi a million times that your girlfriends are always going to be your girlfriends. Yes, boys come and go, right? And and you make sure you have strong female friendships because they are what's going to carry you through and never ever ruin a friendship over a boy.

SPEAKER_04 18:07

Yeah, absolutely. Preach. Yeah, yeah. Actually, to the choir.

SPEAKER_00 18:10

Yeah, yeah. I know I probably preach too much.

SPEAKER_04 18:13

I feel like you can even preach too much about that. I feel like it's always important for girls to hear that, and especially like like me hearing that from you. Like, it makes me like I definitely really appreciate hearing that, and I feel like comfort hearing that from like someone like you. And I feel like raised an amazing daughter, and she has ray values, and like, yeah, I feel like I just always love hearing something about like women empowerment, and I just like it makes me. Well, we have to support each other.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

We too. We talked about that on a couple of episodes. Like, we like women need to support women, right?

SPEAKER_03 18:42

And and what you ladies said, you made a really good point about how you need to make sure that if you are dating someone, especially those first three to six months, right? You are not necessarily in a headspace to see any flaws, any red flags. You need your girls around you to also shine light on that and be like, oh, I don't know, like maybe ask them about this. You know, it's it's good to get other opinions because definitely I've been in that situation where the first two to three months you're in your own little bubble, and you know, you're not you're not meeting his friends and family, he's not meeting your friends and family, and it seems perfect, and it's just nice to get a little reality check before you invest too much time.

SPEAKER_00 19:23

And I love like this generation. I'm just thinking back to when I was your age, like my mom. She was always like, Donna, you just need to meet a man and get married. You need a man to like she never talked about education, she never talked about like get a job and a career. It was always about the most important thing is to find a man to take care of you. I love that you guys, like, not once, not even like Lexi, who has a boyfriend, not once do they say, like, you know, I'm looking for someone because I want to get married. They're looking for somebody who like will feel that like that emotional, like they have emotional intelligence and accept them for who they are. And I love that the generation is changing. Women are getting stronger, they're getting more independent. And that's not to say, like, I think being in love and and having a great relationship is wonderful. It's kind of like the bonus, right? You like you you're strong, you're independent, you get your education, you focus on your career, and oh, you met somebody and you fell in love, bonus, but that's not who you are, and they're not going to make you they're like they're not going to define who yeah, like make you any more value, like less.

SPEAKER_02 20:32

Whenever I'm like kind of feeling sad about the fact that I don't have a relationship, you know I'm 21, I've never had a boyfriend, or you know, I've dated, but I've never been in a long-term relationship. And it edits to me sometimes, like, you know, I want that type of love in my life. But when I am down about that, what I tell myself is like, well, what else in my life is filling my cup? And like, what else do I have in my life that can define me as a person or fulfill me in a different way? Like, I have an abundance of female friendships, and like that's what you're enjoying, like what you were saying. So it kind of helps me shift my perspective. Like, a boyfriend isn't a necessity anymore, it's more of just an added bonus or like a fun extra place for my love to go.

SPEAKER_01 21:11

No, I agree, lady lovely boyfriend.

SPEAKER_02 21:13

But look, like it's so much fun. Like, I mean, I live with Ella I've also we've all lived together, like waking off and texting Ella, are you awake? Wanna make coffee?

SPEAKER_00 21:23

Yeah, and I love that for you. And I mean, that was one thing I have always like pushed Lexi to do as well. Like, yeah, even though we live close to like Halifax, she wanted to get an apartment and live with girls, and I'm like, do it, like do it because it's the best experience, right? Like to have that connection, like you know, just seeing like getting up in the morning and jumping in bed with your roommate. I mean that literally, like she'll leave for like a day, and I'm like, when are you doing that?

SPEAKER_02 21:50

It's also nice because when you are dating someone new, um you can kind of bring them going to your house and you have three or four year olds waiting there to kind of Interbedarish something for me. It's a good test. These girls were there when me and Austin first hung out for the nine. They were there. They witnessed the stress, bum, anxiety, reading. Yeah. They witnessed it all. Well my god, they don't get any better.

SPEAKER_00 22:17

They do not do better. Do better boys. Well, and and so I had this conversation with um with a friend I know, male, and he was like, the problem is that women need to raise better men. And so as a mother of boys, I feel like I feel like my sons are good men because Lexi and I are always like hounding them, like, this is how you need to treat a woman, and this is like this is how you show up, right? Like, um, and so I hope as the generations continue, like, I do think that parents have an obligation to teach their sons how to be a good man. I will, I'm very guilty, and I think most mothers are of sons. Like, we raise our daughters to be really independent, and I know Lexi will have a ton of opinions on this, but we baby our boys. We don't want little boys as husbands, partners.

SPEAKER_03 23:12

Right. We want to be partners in a more equal sense, who are not looking to be mothers.

SPEAKER_02 23:17

Exactly. Yeah. But it's tough because I find that that dynamic continues to play out. Like I have um two older brothers, the same as a change in, like, I find I'm a little bit more independent than they are. Um, but in some of my like relationships in university, I have caught myself a couple sort of like subconsciously kind of babying the guy that I'm seeing, you know. Like I'm so hyper-independent and they're so used to sort of being taken care of that all of a sudden I'm you know putting his fitted sheet on his eyes. So yeah, it's that's a very interesting point.

SPEAKER_04 23:50

And I feel like another thing is too weaponized kittens, like when they don't do something like at all, like it's like they don't do it, but it's like they purposely do bad at it, so it's like they don't have to do it again. And it's like I like last year I was seeing this guy and he put in like no effort at all, especially when it came to like going on dates, like specifically like going out in public. And it was just like he was like, Oh no, like I can't right now, like just making up these stupid excuses. And it was like, well, like I know you probably know how to plan a date, I know you know how to call a restaurant and make a reservation. Like, you can do that, like you have those skills, you're just choosing not to do it because you want to be baby. You want to be like they're waiting for everyone. Yeah, you want to have all these things done for you. And I do feel like, yeah, like sometimes maybe it's like the way that he was raised, but I also I also notice, especially when it comes to like texting bursts, it's like like they never text first anymore. It's I feel like whenever I like text first, I feel like it's almost like not even like masculine, but it's just like like you should be texting me earse, and it's like you're waiting, and then they're like, Oh, well, you didn't text me, and I'm like, were you like were you expecting it back into like pursuing yeah the woman?

SPEAKER_02 24:54

Like, you know, I'm all for equality and like I'm happy to send the first text, but I'm expecting like some consistent effort, and you're not even sending the first message on a dating app or in your life, right?

SPEAKER_00 25:07

Yeah, it talks about like talking about the bare minimum, right? And there's a lot of I see it on like TikTok and social media, and even men are saying, like, men, you need to do more than the bare minimum. If you like mowed the lawn or shovel the driveway or clean the pool, that's the bare minimum, right? That is a responsibility of being in a relationship, you know, like doing the dishes or putting the laundry in, bare minimum, bare minimum. But men look for like, hey, like I know my ex partner, he'd be like, I did the dishes. What do I get? What do I get for doing the dishes? Where's my treat? Yeah, but that's my treat, right? And it's like, why do men think the bare minimum should be rewarded? Right? And we talk about that emotional intelligence, right? That's right. Men lack that. So many men lack that.

SPEAKER_02 25:59

And I they also lack this understanding that me having to ask you to do a task is emotionally demanding. Like that's emotional labor. And like doing the dishes or walking the dog, like, I shouldn't have to ask you to do that. That's just you being a functioning human. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like it's not my job to tell you that I'm also a person who's trying to function as a human. It's like you're a full adult.

SPEAKER_04 26:19

It actually like completely even goes past like gender roles and like what a man is supposed to do and what a woman is supposed to do is like just be like a decent role, like or even just like you know relationship. Like, I even noticed like if I go on a date with someone, I like catch myself being like, oh my god, like open the door for me. Like, I'm expected to not expect much for like my yeah, like I'm just like rewired to be like, oh, but like I shouldn't say this. So like when you do that, I'm like, that was weird. Like when you're like nice or just like talkative to my friends, I'm like, oh no, it's not just that's he's like an absolutely outstanding guy, it's just like he has like good social skills, like that's it. It's almost never like like I feel like when it comes to me and when I'm like seeing someone new, I'm like excited and I'm like everything they do, I'm like, oh he did this, like he did this, like extra points, like oh like green play, whatever. But it's like my friends will like bring me down to reality and be like, oh, like he's just like he should do that.

SPEAKER_00 27:05

He should open the door for you and he should text you first.

SPEAKER_03 27:09

I think there's two kind of interesting pieces to the puzzle here where like Donna talked about, you know, how do we raise our boys into men that you know women will want to date? Yes, that's part of it. But once they are grown-up men, I think it's important for them to value female perspectives. Like an automatic red flag for me is if someone is single and they're trying to quote unquote decode how to, you know, attract a woman and get a woman into their lives, they listen to Joe Rogan, they listen to Jordan Peterson, they listen to Scott Galloway. So, like Mr. Black Spots on his tongue, who I was on a date with, I actually like sent him. I was like, Have you heard of Brene Brown? Have you heard of Glennon Doyle? Have you heard of Esther Perel? Like, if you want to understand women, how about listen to some goddamn women and like understand what their perspective is on relationships, what they want in a relationship? Stop being in your like little like, you know, man cave listening to old white men tell you how to attract a woman. It drives me crazy. So it's like once you're a fully grown adult, you have a choice of like how you conduct yourselves around the opposite sex.

SPEAKER_02 28:24

Yeah. And especially at this age, it's really scary with uh Joe Rogan-ass figures on the feet. I feel like at this point, like 2026 is widely known that your algorithm can kind of put you into a sort of ideological vacuum. And it's pretty scary the number of men that I meet that are subtly a part of these red pill nanaser, just like very, yeah, like Joe Rogan-esque environments online. It's toxic. Yeah, it's toxic where they're learning that oh, the way to approach a woman is to be like an alpha male and show them that I have all of these material, you know, assert my dominance, but you're listening to the wrong guys. Listen to some women, right?

SPEAKER_03 29:06

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So anyway, I guess we gotta wrap up. I love thank you. Thank you, Lace, so much for coming in and doing this with us. Like, it's uh, I mean, uh, we certainly don't mean to discourage you and say, like, it's hard at every age, but we're just very impressed with your presence of mind and understanding what your priorities are. And honestly, I feel like you are all on the right track. And I just uh feel very good about what your future looks like. And just remember it. Yeah, thank you.

SPEAKER_02 29:36

That's very reassuring. Yeah, definitely fun. And especially on the dating apps.

SPEAKER_04 29:41

Yeah, it's really nice, like hearing perspectives from like the two of you. And I feel like this was a very rewarding. And I feel like this was like it made me feel really good, and I feel really happy. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 29:56

This has been cheap set unfiltered, where midlife isn't polished, it's real. From divorce and career pivots to parentopause and everything no one warned us about. These are the honest conversations we've lived, survived, and shared with you today. Until next time, stay brave, be curious, and keep it unfiltered.