Episode 18: Building a Life I Love

What if happiness isn’t something you find after you hit all the milestones, marriage, kids, career, house, but something you slowly build when you finally start listening to yourself?

In this episode, Donna and Meg talk about what it means to create a life that feels peaceful, joyful, and fully your own after divorce, heartbreak, motherhood, people-pleasing, and starting over.

From guilt-free freedom and protecting your peace to rediscovering hobbies, friendships, independence, dating, parenting, and the small everyday things that make life feel good again, this conversation is about choosing what stays, what goes, and what gets to grow.

Because building a life you love doesn’t always have to be dramatic 

Sometimes it looks like saying no.
Sometimes it looks like brunch with friends.

Sometimes it looks like a podcast, a cold plunge, a clean closet, a quiet home, a loud family, or finally realizing you don’t have to make everyone else comfortable at the expense of yourself.

This is a conversation about joy after change, peace after chaos, and the beautiful, uncomfortable work of coming home to yourself.

What happens when you stop waiting for life to go back to the way it was… and start building something new instead?

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:05

Welcome to Sheep Shed Unfiltered. This is not a podcast for perfect women or polite conversation. This is for the women who've been divorced, dismissed, burnt out, betrayed, and still somehow managed to show up, get shit done, and keep everyone else still alive. There'll be laughter, there may be tears, and you might even say, did they really say that shit? Just real women, real stories, and the kind of honesty that usually happens after the second glass of wine. The first season of She Shed Unfiltered is about the things we learned the hard way. The lessons no one warned us about. The moments that changed us. Whether we were ready or not. I'm Donna. And I'm Meg. Welcome back to She Shed Unfiltered. Meg, how's your week going?

SPEAKER_00 0:57

Good. I mean, I'm happy it's almost over. How about you?

SPEAKER_01 1:01

Yeah. Well, it's been a great week. I've been on vacation all week.

SPEAKER_00 1:05

Oh, that's right. And you got stellar weather. Very jealous. I wanted to be off this week. I know.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

I was trying to get the pool ready, but it just was not cooperating. But anyway, we'll get it ready soon. Soon we'll be doing our podcast from the pool. Oh, yes, please.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

Have the laptop on a floaty.

SPEAKER_01 1:23

Hmm. Not sure if that's good, but that would be fun. Um, did you do anything exciting? You had a long weekend in there.

SPEAKER_00 1:31

Yeah, absolutely. So um the long weekend was kind of a fun balance. Um, I spent the first couple of days with my daughter, and we kind of bombed around and were social and uh met my friend's puppy, which she was dying to meet because she loves animals. And then she went off to her dad's and uh I hung out with the uh the man that I'm seeing. We went to the Nordic Spa together on the holiday Monday, which was really fun. And uh yeah, just like and ended up in Wolfville and had like dinner at church brewing. It was really lovely and perfect weather. Uh, how about you? How was your long weekend? The end to your week off.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

Oh, well, I mean, last week I was in Toronto for the long weekend. I was in Toronto visiting my oldest son, River, and we had a fantastic time. Um I was supposed to go to a rave on the Saturday night, but um I don't think River realized that a 55-year-old drinking for six hours during the day and mixing alcohol was a good recipe for ra a rave. And I ended up going back to my Airbnb and not feeling the greatest. And uh yeah, I had to bail on the rave. But that's fair. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:54

Yeah. Oh, same here with day drinking. It leads to immediate nap.

SPEAKER_01 2:59

Oh my gosh, yeah. And I'm uh like I don't mix alcohol, and we went to like we had cocktails, and then we had wine at dinner, and then we went to another cocktail bar, and then we were walking by. Oh, I was thinking of you when we were there. We were walking down the sidewalk, and I could hear Irish music, and there's a new Irish pub. It had just opened a few months ago, and everybody in there was Irish. Like oh, really? Yeah, like the accents were incredible. I was like, oh, Meg needs to go here.

SPEAKER_00 3:31

Yes, I would love. I would just sit and listen to them talk.

SPEAKER_01 3:33

Oh, yeah. So we had a beer there, and then we went on to another cocktail bar, and then another wine bar, and then had some shots, and so that's a lot for for Donna. You were gonna go to a rave after all that? Good God, I'd be out for the count. Yeah, no, I wanted I was out for the count. But anyway, River and uh and his friend went and they had a great time. So nice. Yeah. So that was uh that was last week. So we're getting close to the countdown of ending season one. So crazy. That went by so fast. I know, right? One of the things that we wanted to talk about was um one of the things that we uh think about and have talked about a lot is like peace and happiness and joy. And you know, it's interesting as a woman that we're kind of taught to chase milestones, like get married, have kids, get the career, you know, buy your house. And that image of life is kind of what we focused on. Like you get married to be happy, you have kids that that'll make you happy, you buy your house that'll make you happy, you get the a career or job that you enjoy, that'll make you happy. And I think like over the last 17, 16 episodes that we've been doing, I think we've been discovering a little bit more of what happiness of what happiness really is, rather than those milestones. And it was just something that kind of hit me as we're talking about the podcast. It's like and and talking about this episode, like what is happiness? Like, what is that that joy? What is like what uh especially going through everything that we've gone through with you know divorces and different relationships ending, I was just always trying to keep it all together.

SPEAKER_00 5:24

Yeah, and I think that's so true. I think it feels in retrospect almost as if we're being brainwashed, kind of, you know, this is the path that you have to walk in order to be happy. And like you said, it's celebrating these milestones. You get to a certain age, you have a serious partner, you make the commitment to get married and be monogamous, then you have 2.5 kids and a pet, and then you get promoted at work and so on and so forth. And that's just supposed to, you don't question it, you just walk that path, and that will lead to happiness. And I mean, I think you and I started down that road, but didn't end up uh going all the way down and deviated. And honestly, I'm much happier now that I'm on the other side of that and redefining what happiness looks like for me, which is, you know, I really value the time that I have with my daughter, even though um she's with her dad half of the time, which is certainly something I struggled with. But it also forced me to lean into my social group, my friends, to look at hobbies, to look at different things that I could do in that spare time, and then to be more mindful and loving and focused when my daughter was actually with me. So kind of a blessing in disguise that. But uh what about what about you? What are some things that you have kind of realized now that you're also off that traditional path that have brought you happiness over the past year or two?

SPEAKER_01 6:58

For me, it's about having the freedom without the guilt, right? And you know, I was thinking back when we were talking through this episode and and what it was going to look like, and there was always I'm a pleaser. I want everybody to be happy. I love to like m make people happy and make and celebrate people. And for the last, you know, eight years or seven years when I was in uh my past relationship, you know, I was trying to make him feel comfortable, I was trying to make his kids feel comfortable. His kids didn't even talk, like they would come in the house, and if you you might have got a grunt, right? And they would just go right upstairs to their room. Like my kids and I, we were like walking on eggshells all the time because you know, sometimes they would say hello and sometimes they wouldn't say hello. And and I again I think I said this in a previous episode was that you know, I was trying to make him and his kids feel so comfortable that or this was their home, my kids were suffering, and I didn't realize how much I was actually suffering as well until I started to heal from the breakup, and I'm just like, wow, there's no heaviness anymore. Like, I don't have that heaviness, and I can like literally come and go and do whatever I want. I I have kids here, but they're adult kids, you know. My son's almost 18, my daughter's 23, and uh funny enough, last night I went out on a date with my unicorn and ended up staying downtown at his hotel, and it was very awkward for me because um my kids can track me, so they know that they know where I was staying. And I came home this morning and I felt like I was like doing the walk of shame. Nobody asked questions, nobody like made me feel bad. They're just like, my kids are happy that I'm happy.

SPEAKER_00 9:07

That's amazing. That must feel really good. Uh yeah, but awkward as hell.

SPEAKER_01 9:11

Of course, totally awkward as hell.

SPEAKER_00 9:13

Yeah, yeah, and definitely I I hear you. I'm very um, I have a 10-year-old daughter, and I'm very protective of that relationship and very nervous, I think, to bring people into that dynamic. Um I think just I'm choosy, you know. I I want to make sure that it feels right and that dynamic is right and that it's solid. And I think that's partly due to past experience. Like I had a ridiculous uh rebound relationship after my marriage ended with uh a younger guy, uh, which was fun, but um he didn't want kids in his life, but he kind of pretended that he did so that we would date. Uh, so I think uh I'm very careful about um who kind of comes into that inner circle. But I love the fact that your kids are older, they're independent, and they just are really supportive of you and you know, want to make sure that you're happy and fulfilled and and getting what you want out of life, which is really all you could hope for.

SPEAKER_01 10:17

Yeah, I mean it's it's actually so sweet because all three of my kids, like they just want like they're like, Mom, it's your time, like you've taken care of us, like just go have fun. Do like go do you, like whatever that looks like. And it was funny this morning, like Lexi, because we're on like Life 360, she can see my location, and uh, she was at a friend's house last night. Um, she sent me a text and she's like, Well, I can see you didn't go home. LOL. And at first I felt like it was my mother saying that, and I was like trying to come up with an excuse why I'm why I wasn't home. And then I'm just like, you know what? It's good. Like, I'm not going to like lie or you know, tell them I was somewhere where I wasn't, because that one, they can tell, and I'm not taking my location off because it's a safety issue. And you know, I had the same discussion with my kids when we added when we put it on. It's that I don't care where you are as long as I know you're safe, you know. So um that's kind of our respect in our household. And so, yeah, having that freedom without guilt, again, being a mother, guilt is like embedded in us, so it's really hard to like get rid of that. But I'm I'm learning and I'm I'm really liking it.

SPEAKER_00 11:32

I love that, and yeah, that's so true. That kind of that combination of like you have agency and you can live your life the way you really want to, and getting rid of that mom guilt fully is hard for sure. I still struggle with that a little bit, uh, but um, I think you know, it gets easier over time, and that is definitely one of the beautiful things of uh taking that path that's less traveled, is you really um find out new ways to make yourself happy, honestly.

SPEAKER_01 12:03

Yeah, because we spend so much of our life making our husband happy, making our children happy, happy, making our parents and our in-laws happy, like everyone around us, except for us, right? And it's a really weird feeling. It feels unnatural to put yourself first. I think I know for me, like whether it's just that mother mothering thing or the nurturing thing, but I I even took care of my mom like as a teenager because my mom was dealing with the divorce from my dad and and uh another divorce. She had she was married twice, and so I felt like at 13, 14, I was parenting my mom as well and always trying to like make things better, and I think that's why I was such a good kid because I didn't want to upset my mom at all. So, like no drinking and partying or anything like that. But now, like again, my kids are grown and it's you know, they're doing their own thing. They ha all have like significant others in their life, and you know, they're working and going to school and doing whatever. And I'm now like, hmm, it's now it's kind of about me, right? I keep food in the house, yeah, roof over their head, and so it's it's a very new feeling, and I'm really looking forward to this summer.

SPEAKER_00 13:25

That's awesome, and I'm looking forward to your pool being ready. Yeah, it's funny that you say that because uh I took my daughter to skating last night. She's so obsessed with it. There was a winter session, and her dad and I signed her up for the spring session as well. And unexpectedly, uh Kate had a lot of spectators last night. So usually it's myself and my ex-husband go and see her. Um, we'll sit in the stands. But um also my mom wanted to come and then his mom and his brother came. Oh wow. Uh yeah, so there were a lot of us cheering her on uh during her practice, but um it was very relaxing to me somehow kind of looking at like my ex and his family, thinking like, I'm not beholden to anybody here. You know, I can just have a little chat and then go about my evening. You know, uh, I think I I did used to be caught up in that people pleasing a lot too, especially when they are your in-laws, right? You feel like you need to keep the peace, be diplomatic, you know, make sure that everybody's happy. Um, because obviously that leads back to your spouse as well. But yeah, it was just kind of being on the other side of that. It did feel very freeing, and I could just relax and not worry about it.

SPEAKER_01 14:41

Yeah. Yeah. Um, I think that's as we get older, we lose like we just don't give a fuck on some things. Which is it's kind of nice, like it's liberating not to worry about so much of what people think, and you know, are you doing the right thing? Who are you doing it for? You or them? And as long as it's for you, I think that's uh not that yeah, I find it really hard to be selfish, but I'm learning. I'm trying. I'm trying. So, Meg, like what are some of the top three things that you love about your life now?

SPEAKER_00 15:16

Oh, good question. Top three things. So let me think. Um one thing is um now that I am uh a single mom, um kind of walking my own path, I like the fact that I was brave enough to open my own business, which is a huge decision and maybe not the most financially sound one I've made in my life. Uh, because I'm, you know, previously, in the context of my marriage, I was a very risk-averse person, especially financially. And uh my ex-husband is very fiscally responsible. So I feel like that rubbed off on me a little bit. But honestly, had I stayed in that situation, I don't think I ever would have been brave enough to strike out on my own. So I am really pleased that I was able to do that. And I'm more than two years in now, and I do like the fact that my daughter can see that it's possible to work for yourself and be an entrepreneur. I like the fact that she can be exposed to different ways of working. So to plant the seed for when she's older and figuring out what she wants to do in life. Uh, the second thing is I find I'm more adventurous and I say yes more. So, for example, um, I'm a member of uh a group called Coldplay NS, and we do cold plunges, like cold dips in the ocean at all times of year. Yes, I am a crazy person, but it does nicely offset the hot flashes, I will say. Like I feel like at this time there's a lot of midlife women in that crew, and I think I know why. It's like we all want the same thing, uh, and it's to not feel crazy hot. Uh, but uh, but that I don't know if that's something that I would have uh said yes to uh previously. So I just like to kind of have random new experiences and try new things so that that kind of beginner mindset. And uh the third thing would be I love being social with my daughter. So it doesn't even have to be with her friends, but she also loves feeling like a big girl and hanging out with my friends, doing brunch dates. So I think there's this unspoken mutual understanding on the weekends that we're together that we're just gonna like go out, see friends, have fun together, and I think I value that time even more because I don't see her sweet little face every day. Uh, what about you? What would you say your top three are?

SPEAKER_01 17:43

Oh, my top three? Definitely the freedom. That is my biggest thing. The fact that I do feel really calm and like my life feels peaceful because I just allow those in that I want in. Yeah. And I don't have to apologize for the way I'm feeling. I don't have to like do things I'm not interested in doing. And uh and one of the other things, like I really like you said, like I have learned to s well, I've actually learned to say no rather than yes to things because I was always saying yes to things. Like overcommitting. Yes, right. And now I'm just like, you know what? I don't want to do something, I'm just gonna say no, and I'm not going to come up with any excuses. I love it. I'm just like no, I'm not up for it. Protect your time. Absolutely, yeah. But I think, you know, those are probably the three things I love most um about my life at this stage of the game is just like having my kids home and you know, we're just chilling out with them. Our conversations are so they're just so great. Like it's just us, and we can talk about what we want to talk about, and like the ki my kids when they start to like goof around with each other, they're loud and I love it. Like I love the chaos, right? And I don't have to worry about it upsetting somebody else.

SPEAKER_00 19:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:17

Right. And uh again, it comes back to that freedom. Like when I was in a relationship, there's always this tension when you have stepchildren, when there's other children involved, because we don't all parent the same, and we certainly don't like getting parenting advice. Right? Yeah, that is that is true.

SPEAKER_00 19:37

That's a tricky line to walk.

SPEAKER_01 19:39

It really is, because you want them to be part of your life, but at the same and you want them to feel like you're part of the they're part of your family, but I have to say, like, that tension on like parenting was very challenging. That's why one of the things in my on my checklist is that uh he would have to have grown kids or no kids. I don't want to deal with that ever again.

SPEAKER_00 20:04

Yeah, that's totally fair. And I I agree on the having you know older kids and you know making sure that there's no drama there. Um it's interesting. The first two relationships I was in after my marriage ended were with guys who did not have kids, and I'm now seeing a dad, and I have to say it's far preferable for me because parenting is a very specific experience, and it's not one that there's an easy way into if you've never done it before, you know. So it's like parents understand certain things that non-parents don't. Not that I'm I'm not hating on non-parents. I have a lot of friends who don't have kids, and that is amazing, and I love to hang out with their pets. But uh, but yeah, I find for dating it's uh it's almost like you have a shorthand for your life experience, uh, raising raising humans. So um I do, I do like that a lot. Also, you know, um a special level of patience just for your just for your kids that I notice I don't have in other parts of my life, uh, like in sitting in traffic. So uh I'm curious, are there any hobbies or activities that you have taken up in this uh in this new phase of life that you don't feel like you had time or even necessarily air quotes permission to do in the past? The podcast.

SPEAKER_01 21:30

Oh, yes. Absolutely. Um, I would never would have had time to do this if I was still in my past relationship. So uh and that allows me to like have creativity and and uh think about different episodes and topics and hang out with you every week, and uh that just wouldn't happen. I don't know how it could have happened. And also, like I I mean I don't really sit down. Like I don't have an actual hobby other than I love to design like and change the house around. I love to putter. Like I've done so much to the house and to the yard. I d I literally wake up in the morning, I go to work, I come home, and then I start. If it's not the podcast, it's painting a room or like coming up with a design or or a look that I want to do. And that's what I do. I don't even watch TV. Cause I'm just like I love that creative side. Yeah. And I love making change. So whatever it is, painting a shed or painting my bedroom or putting a new garden in or trying to clean the freaking pool. Like there's always something that I'm focused on, but it's always something like an improvement of something. So having all the time to do that, I love it.

SPEAKER_00 22:54

Yeah, that's awesome. And I feel like um interior design could kind of sort of count as a hobby.

SPEAKER_01 23:00

Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. I just don't like I don't knit. I don't go to the gym. I don't play pickleball.

SPEAKER_00 23:06

Although I am going to try that.

SPEAKER_01 23:07

I was gonna say, we've talked about it. You know, I can't draw, I can't paint. Like, I can't even draw a stick figure. So that is not anywhere on my list. It's not for everybody.

unknown 23:19

No, no.

SPEAKER_01 23:20

But I love doing what I do. Like I love the podcast and and what that community, the community that we're building through the podcast. And then I just love being home and puttering. I know that it makes me sound old.

SPEAKER_00 23:34

But oh, you know what? I like I like doing that too, though. There's something about it. Yeah. And having pride in your space and owning your space and making it feel like a place you want to return to is really important. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 23:46

Cleaning out your closet. I love when the house is organized. Yes. I don't have enough time for that, but it feels so good when you like organize something or your kitchen cupboards and you can sit back and go, I love that. And it stays that way. It does. Yeah, it does. Until my mom comes up, which I love her to death, and it's great. But I like I can never find anything. She'll put the dishes away, and it's like, hmm, I wonder where mom put the vegetable peeler. Let's see. But yeah, no, it's um it's great. So, Meg, now that you're, you know, you've met somebody and you know things seem to be going pretty good, how do you uh see like for future goals maintaining your independence and life that you've built and that you love and uh inviting somebody else into that? Like, how do you it's so hard to keep that balance, like you know, in the beginning it's it's easy, but as you start to like get more serious, do you have like a vision of what that would look like? And that's not to put pressure on you, this could be any relationship, not the one that you're this new one that you're in. But you know, how do you maintain like that's one of the things like I'm I ask myself, like, I love the independence and the freedom and not feeling guilty about not wanting to spend every second of my free time with somebody else? It's a little easier for me because there is actual distance, a physical distance between us, but with you, you said it's like a one-minute walk, right? Yeah, so how do you like how how would you maintain that balance of still wanting or maybe you don't? Like maybe you don't want your free nights anymore. Like what does that look like?

SPEAKER_00 25:39

Yeah, that's a good question. Um, so I mean, obviously right now I'm still in that glowy honeymoon phase, so I basically, you know, would have no complaints if I saw him every day or every other day. And we basically are seeing each other almost every other day at this point in time. But I do like the fact that he's very laid back. We can we seem to communicate well so far, from what I've uh what I've experienced. And um, I don't think either of us are in any rush. Like we're just enjoying the moment that we're in and not hastily making plans to kind of map out the rest of our life together, uh, which I think is the same thing. You know, it's like take it day by day, enjoy yourself, um, kind of, you know, let the let the connection grow organically and try not to put unrealistic expectations on each other. And one of the things that I think turns me on about my current situation is that he has a full life. He has a social circle, he has things that he's interested in, he's a musician, you know, it's it's not, I've met people before where it's like they don't have much going on and they want uh, you know, a girlfriend to fill that void. Right. You know, so then they are making a lot of demands on your time, and it feels like, okay, like I have to entertain you, I have to be everything for you. And this doesn't feel like that at all. It feels more mature and kind of balanced. So I think in any relationship, that's what I would be looking for, that we'd be open to talking about that and respecting what the other person wants and needs, um, but also not rushing into anything because it's it's funny, like, you know, some people maybe in their late 40s, early 50s would think, oh, well, I I don't have time. I want to kind of pull the trigger now. And I feel like so laid back and not rushed. And, you know, it's like, this is my time, it's valuable, I want to make sure I make the right decisions. And and, you know, like you said, you know, you get to kind of curate who's in your circle, right? Like you get to decide um who supports your piece or who disrupts it. So, um, so yeah, I'm I'm just basically in the mode of kind of enjoying the moment, taking it slow, uh, not making any crazy uh commitments, but I'm I'm very happy with how things are going and and hoping that it it does evolve into a long-term relationship. If if early days is any indication, it's it's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 28:15

Oh, that's awesome. I love that. And talking about we talked about hobbies before, and I know that you had mentioned like you uh since you and your husband divorced, like you have brunch with some friends, and you you've like connected with you know old friends from NSEC and you're doing all kinds of cool things, and I think that one of the things that I feel we're taught as women is that hobbies are like they should they're optional when really they they shouldn't be optional. It's you know, it's connecting and reconnecting with yourself, and I think that's so important, and you know, I always say that to my daughter because she's you know in a a relationship, they've been together for a year, and uh, she still goes out with her friends and she still does all the stuff that she did prior to being in a relationship, and I love that for her, and I'm I always said like don't give up who you are for a man, but just it just enhance like he can enhance your life, but you don't have to give up the things that you love to do. And I I think that women who have gone through divorce, separation, they've realized what they gave up in their marriage, and it was them themselves. Yeah, right. That's so true.

SPEAKER_00 29:41

Yeah, and what a green flag for Lexi to still have that balance because obviously, you know, um you invited Lexi and some of her friends onto the podcast. They are amazing young women. She seems to have really amazing friends and doesn't push them to the side whenever there's a love interest in her life. I mean, obviously, she also has a great relationship, but that's not her only focus.

SPEAKER_01 30:03

No, not at all, right? And I, you know, I feel really proud um of her, but I also like, you know, it's hard when you make that decision to leave a marriage. You know, you made the decision to leave your husband, I made the decision to leave my husband, and you carry some guilt with that, and you think, oh my god, like I'm totally screwing up my kids. But I look back now and I look at my kids, and I think I gave them a gift. And I don't mean that if we had been in the house, like not divorced, and I was still with my ex, it would have been a different experience for them. But I think seeing me be like strong and resilient and independent, and I also I love love, so it's not like I'm not about like don't ever fall in love or don't ever get married. I think those are all beautiful um things to have in your life, but they're not the end all be all. So, you know, when when my daughter was younger, like coming out of high school, she's like, all my friends have boyfriends, like what's wrong with me? And I'm like, you will find the right person. It you don't need a boyfriend right now. Yeah. When it's when the time is right and meet the right person, it will happen. And um, so I love that my kids had the experience of knowing that relationships are wonderful, but they're not the only thing you can have in your life. And if you don't have one, that's okay too. Your life can be very fulfilled.

SPEAKER_00 31:34

Yeah, but I think that's really um hard when you see your peers having this specific experience and then you're not having it yet. Uh, because I was certainly a late bloomer myself and um didn't start dating until my late teens. So it's, you know, certainly I was not I was not seeing anybody in high school. Um, and I was deeply nerdy with my big thick glasses. So uh so yeah, I totally get that. But it's it's also good to have, you know, the the wise uh counsel of your mom saying, like, your time will come. Like, you know, this is it's not happening for you now, but that's for a good reason. Like your time will come and you will you will find someone worthy of you. Um, and yeah, you you touched on hobbies. I think the interesting thing is my daughter was a really good influence on me on the hobby front. Um, because definitely when you're married, you don't always make time for volunteer work and for hobbies. Um, you kind of get into your domestic rut sometimes, and that defines you more than anything that you're doing outside of the house outside of the home. But I noticed Kate is she thinks boys are gross, which I am totally on board with right now. Great for a 10-year-old. It will be years. I know. Hopefully, not sooner than that. Uh, but yeah, she's all about her girlfriends, and they make these little clubs, like art clubs, and yeah, and uh, and she she proudly announces them when she gets home from school and about comic book that she's working on with her stepbrother and all these different things. I'm like, man, that's cool. I I've got to get some stuff on the go too.

unknown 33:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:13

So it's just I kind of get inspired by everything that she's doing that lights her up and remember, like, you know what, we can have that too. Our kids don't have to have all the fun.

SPEAKER_01 33:21

We could have a club, Meg.

SPEAKER_00 33:23

We could do a wine club. Oh, yes, a book club. Yes, a book club.

SPEAKER_01 33:29

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 33:30

Well, as we wrap up this episode, um, Donna and I are uh shockingly counting down. This is the second last episode of our season. Unbelievable. Um, and um, Donna, I'm gonna put you on the hot seat in a second here and see if you have any advice for women who are struggling to break out of their current situations and into a more joyful, intentional way of being and living their lives. Um, in terms of off the top of my head, based on my personal lived experience, what I can offer by way of advice would be um to look back on, you know, the past six months, the past 12 months, and think about how many genuinely happy, free moments, any moments of wild joy that you have had, and what was the cause of that moment of joy? And then to see if you can build on that. And, you know, the the photo reverse of that is true as well. What moments have given you pause and made you realize this fucking sucks? And, you know, is that something that you can cut from your life? Is it an unhealthy relationship you need to leave? Is it a job that is just slowly draining your soul? And, you know, I think taking stock, taking inventory once in a while instead of sleepwalking through our lives is really an important, valuable exercise to uh, you know, much like a garden, to um, you know, water the things we want to grow and to uh tend to things for our future happiness. Uh what what do you think, Donna? What are your final thoughts on that?

SPEAKER_01 35:14

Yeah, I mean, those are all great thoughts, Meg. Um I think for me, uh what I would kind of say to any women out there is it is really scary to make changes. And I think that if you're on happy, then you need to find a way to make your life happy. And if that's staying with your partner, that's fantastic, but again, you have to put yourself first, um, and you know, find those hobbies or find, like Meg said, what kind of brings you joy, and also um rebuilding your life is very uncomfortable, and it is scary, and you feel uncertain if you've made the right choice, but also staying disconnected from yourself is also really uncomfortable, and I think at some point you just have to decide which hard you're willing to live with. You know, I see it all the time with you know friends and some of the women that we've met through the podcast, is that there is peace on the other side, even if the path to get there is very hard and bumpy. Just keep going forward.

SPEAKER_00 36:32

Yeah, that's well said. Definitely choose your heart and um hopefully you're as lucky as Donna and I, and you have an incredible support system of badass women who will um help you along the way and remind you of why you're choosing the path you're choosing to walk. Thanks for joining us today on She Shed Unfiltered. And uh, if you would like to find out more about our podcast and find out little teasers about future episodes, you can follow us on Instagram at ShishedUnfiltered.com, all one word. Oh, I just said the website. Oh my gosh. At she ShedUnfiltered No.com. This has been She Shed Unfiltered, where midlife isn't polished, it's real. From divorce and career pivots to perimenopause and everything no one warned us about. These are the honest conversations we've lived, survived, and shared with you today. Until next time, stay brave, be curious, and keep it unfiltered.