Friendship, Acceptance & Inclusion with Mario & Courtney Lopez | Beyond Expectations Podcast Ep. 20

In Episode 20 of Beyond Expectations: Parenting Autism, Michelle Chabolla and Sean Dobson are joined by Mario and Courtney Lopez for a heartfelt conversation about friendship, acceptance, and the lasting impact Gregory has had on their lives.

Together, they share personal stories about their relationship with Gregory, the importance of inclusion, and how genuine friendships can create confidence, connection, and lifelong memories. This episode is a reminder that kindness, understanding, and showing up for one another can make all the difference.

This episode is proudly supported by Gregory's Special Creations. Shop Gregory's handmade gifts at http://www.gregorysgifts.com.

@mariolopez & @courtneym_lopez

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the podcast Beyond Expectations, Parenting Autism. Follow Michelle Chabola's journey of raising a child with autism, the challenges, victories, and rewards. If you're a parent, caregiver, or simply someone seeking to understand autism on a personal level, you're in the right place.

SPEAKER_03 0:20

All right, I believe I hit recording. All right, here we are with Sean and Mario and Courtney on Beyond Expectations. We're so glad to have you guys here and talk about Gregory and what it's been like since you met him. And like, um, how was it when you first met him? And what did you think? And how has your relationship with him evolved?

SPEAKER_01 0:45

You know, we were obviously uh friends with his aunt, and then we became friendly with with uh you, Michelle, and then his uncle, Sean. So we love the whole family, and and Gregory was just an extension of that. He's just a warm, beautiful soul and a sweetheart. And um, we always look forward to our annual uh Hollywood Horror Nights trip, and when he visits us in Orlando, uh at Universal, you know, my kids uh uh love him, and uh he's just always a joy and a pleasure to be around.

SPEAKER_02 1:18

He came from a great family, of course. Um, I just we fell in love with Gregory from day one. How can you not? He's just a sweet soul, and I he's slow town, blown away to learn everything that he does. I couldn't even begin to understand or comprehend or do any of the wood cutting, like how he does it. Um, he's just an exception.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

Yeah, we get great Christmas gifts. I love that.

SPEAKER_05 1:47

So, how old was Gregory when you guys first met him?

SPEAKER_01 1:51

I don't know how long has it been, Michelle, was but at least 10 years, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:55

2012.

SPEAKER_01 1:56

Yeah, when is that?

SPEAKER_03 1:58

2012, 14.

SPEAKER_01 1:59

14 years I'm going like this.

SPEAKER_04 2:01

Wow, so you you've seen a lot, you've seen a lot of the development. And so we we put this show together for Michelle to be able to share her experience with Gregory and to really to try to help parents because as you can imagine, when you get this diagnosis for your child, uh the amount of pressure and stress you might go through, and then you feel like you're a little lost. And so, what's what's fascinating about having you guys here is that you've seen sort of his whole adult progression. And I think when I think about sort of our core mission of message to parents, it must might be interesting to ask, sort of, like when you first met Gregory, had you did you have any any experience dealing with people with autism or or have any expectations? And then what you know, all of our messages are like what should parents be doing in that time that they have with a child to prepare them for sort of social interactions?

SPEAKER_01 2:46

Well, he's blessed to have a loving, supportive family. Um, you know, not that's number one, and not everyone, unfortunately, uh uh has that. But uh we uh we've had uh people in our lives um who have uh had autism in their children. One of my uh c cousins who are co close with two, I believe you actually met her Michelle too. Her son was diagnosed uh as well. And and um again, very loving, supporting family. And um uh we of course love and support him as well. And and uh it's just one of those things that you kind of kind of rally around and as a family and and uh comes together. Um you you kind of want to be there and and and uh support as much as you can, but you're just kind of growing and everyone is everyone's sort of first time, right? So you're and as they get older, you're sort of evolving with them and learning um kind of how to adapt and what works. And I know there's I'm learning as far as there's different sort of degrees of the spectrum um and what that all entails.

SPEAKER_02 3:44

I think too it was a blessing to meet you guys because at the time when we met you, I didn't re we didn't know that we were gonna have Mario's cousin was gonna hold autism, and we had a baby with autism. So after meeting you and talking to you, Michelle, hearing your journey and your story and everything you did for Gregory, it allowed us to introduce you to people that needed you and needed your your um expertise in that area because you know nobody knows what to do when you're driving the bad. And um it's I I believe we met you for a reason to introduce other people in the world that yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:28

I think I think that I think that's right. I think that's right as well.

SPEAKER_05 4:31

It's just been pretty cool because you guys seem you've just seen very go from like like 20 to 32 16 to 31, 16 to 31.

SPEAKER_04 4:42

And you gotten to see them regularly, like two, three times a year.

SPEAKER_05 4:46

Now these traditions, yeah, consistently, yeah, consistently, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:50

And I think these traditions, guys, are super valuable to us, and we appreciate you. We really appreciate what you've done for Gregory. But maybe tell the audience like what this what it's like to be friends with the Lopez family. What is Gregory up to these days with you guys?

SPEAKER_01 5:05

Well, you know, we again every time we get to um hang with him, we're always having a good time, whether it's at a theme park or he's visiting me, uh shooting the show. Um, and we're gonna be doing another show in Florida too. Maybe you guys can come and visit us over there too. Uh Michelle, we always like to kind of include you. I know we've gotten together in Austin when uh where where you live as well. So that's always good to go over there, honey. I know.

SPEAKER_02 5:29

I know we got our lunch just recently. Yeah, that's nice.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

Yeah, so whenever we're in town, your town, or you're in our town, um, we always try to make it a point to kind of get together. And and and Gregory's never in a bad mood, he's always a sweetheart, always just uh you know, uh a pleasure to be around. I wish more people had that demeanor and way about them.

SPEAKER_04 5:51

Uh I know we talk about we we talk about he's one of my favorite people to be around because he he is does seem to always have a such a positive outlook, and I think his own level of empathy, you know, is hurt hurts him a little bit because he feels everyone else's stress and feels every everyone's emotions so strongly. I think for those that of us that get to be around him, it's you know a little bit of that stress is off lured onto him, and he's he's always very attentive and understanding what you're doing. I think that's like the the gift side of autism is that is this extreme level of sensitivity and and empathy for the people around him. And I know that Michelle was telling me that when he's around a baby, he's gonna get super nervous because he's so worried about worried about the baby.

SPEAKER_02 6:31

No, I know, and one thing I love is when we go to horror nights because even though we've got it for a decade.

SPEAKER_05 6:39

Yeah, tell us what is this horror nights thing? This has become like a six or seven-year tradition, right? With you guys, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_02 6:48

So it's my favorite time of year. October is my favorite time of year, Halloween is my favorite holiday, and we just started coming here when you know it's right here. And I go, please, can we make it an annual thing? So so we did, and then Michelle and Gregory started to join one time, and it just became you know, they're they're a staple every year.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

Like we don't want to, we we so this is like schedule, but but just so you know what it is, they take the whole backlot of Universal Studios and they work on it all year, and they create these huge haunted houses, elaborate, very expensive, just wild haunted houses, and every year they change them up, and it's usually tied into like a movie theme. Um, and they come and scare the you know the crap out of you basically, um with chainsaws, and it's just uh uh it sounds frightening.

SPEAKER_04 7:36

So and Gregory, like with his because he's got you know a lot of senses coming into him, he's super sensitive, he's aware of all these surroundings. It seems like not the environment I would expect him to thrive in. He leads the charge.

SPEAKER_03 7:50

They let him take over, Sean. I'm in the back of the bus, he's in the front with Mario and Courtney. I'm nobody, I'm just like his Sherpa, and it is the most unbelievable thing that you've ever seen. He eats the meal with them. I mean, truly, yeah, I'm it's like I'm not even there. He hangs with them, he sits with them, he hangs with them, and they let him lead the whole path. They spoil him brought me.

SPEAKER_02 8:15

I love watching him go through the mazes because they're different every year, but it's just every year you just it's like there's an innocence there. There's just there's something there that you know you want every child, your child to have forever, you know, and never grow out of. And it's just an amazing thing to see. And he's just always in the moment and loves it so much. And yeah, he he leads us and takes some of the scares.

SPEAKER_05 8:46

Yeah, it's a good time.

SPEAKER_03 8:50

They've given him way more independence than they even realize what they've done. And then we meet him in Orlando almost annually, and they do this Mardi Gray Mardi Gras parade. And this year, Mario just booked Gregory and not his mom. And I'm like, he's like, Michelle, Michelle, it's gonna be fun. I'm like, Mario, he's gonna be on this float by himself, and he just looks at me like okay. So Gregory gets to go with the parade with you, everybody. Yeah, so he just gets on the float with everybody, and of course, I'm trying to find guys I know. I'm making Tootie and Blake with him, and Mario and Courtney are like, whatever, see you later, mom, and take him away. And he's on this float going through the park. It's unbelievable. It really is.

SPEAKER_01 9:39

It's it's it's a good time.

SPEAKER_03 9:41

Yeah, it's a good time. They give him a lot more independence than they even realize, and they do way more for him than they realize, too. It's it's really fun. He looks forward to it every year.

SPEAKER_04 9:51

Man, that's that is that is pretty amazing. And I think that sense of normalcy, that sense of treating him like everybody else is such a huge gift to him because you know, I it from my perspective, when someone has autism, there's always a risk that people kind of over over-index a little bit and and start to not treat them, you know, uh as an adult and and to the full extent of their capabilities. And I think Michelle's message has been pretty solid here that the capabilities are significant, and and it's it's there's a danger to there's always a danger to expect too much, but there's almost as big a danger to not expect enough from a child with autism. And I think that that that ends up kind of taken away from the child's uh life experiences and their development if yet that expectation level isn't right and isn't really high enough.

SPEAKER_01 10:36

No, you're exactly right. And I think that's an important message just to get out to people in general. At the end of the day, you want to just get treated like like everyone else with respect and be able to kind of have a good time and participate in you know activities, um, just like anyone else would. And and uh uh I think once you sort of because I think it's just there's just an unknown, and you people that are lawyer or have anyone in their family or circle that uh is experiencing autism, uh you don't know exactly how you're supposed to act. And I think the best message is you just treat them like people and like you would anyone else, you know, with respect and dignity, and and um um and it's really as simple as that. And you know, again, I'm fascinated by uh like his talent and stuff too, the the way he's able to sort of lock in and do all the woodwork and all that and create a business and and uh generate that for himself. That's uh you know, really impressive. So they're not limited either. That's another thing people are thinking about it.

SPEAKER_02 11:37

Yeah, but Michelle I said before he's so lucky to have a family that supports him the way that you guys do, because I mean you quit your job, you you everything everything's got for you, but it looked at what you've done for him.

SPEAKER_04 11:54

Yeah, that's what's so important to get the message out because not everyone's gonna be able to do that. And and I think that that you know the the mom part of this thing is so big, like like Courtney, you're a mom, you know what it's like to be a mom uh when the children don't have uh his sort of development disability and that how taxing and and all developing it is. And so when a mom has a child that just needs that much more um support, then it can feel overwhelming. And so we're hoping that more people hear Michelle's story and not only understand how how she sort of you really beat expectations, but like how do they pull from that and how do they how do they start with tomorrow, right? And I think that having having your child who's a teenager start to have adult friends and be able to experience you know the same thing that everyone else gets to do is kind of the that's kind of the a huge measure of success. And so, Michelle, did you at some point did you think, man, this might not ever happen, that Gregory might be living in the house all day and not have friends and not have relationships?

SPEAKER_03 12:51

Absolutely, absolutely, because he wasn't invited to parties, he wasn't if you think about normalcy, that didn't really happen for him, and so you do you panic. You're you know, will he have friends? Will he be able to go places? Will he do things?

SPEAKER_04 13:05

So and how did you sort of turn the tide to where where now he's got he gets invited to places you're not invited?

SPEAKER_03 13:13

That's Mario, like on the shape, but that's but that's a but that's a huge accomplishment, right? Mario knew he could fly by himself, I wouldn't even get to kill him.

SPEAKER_01 13:27

That's right, that's right.

SPEAKER_03 13:30

It's just it's fun watching him, especially in these environments, because not only do they give him independence, but they have, I mean, he is around major crowds, major groups, and it's really funny what he does because if we sit down in the group, he sits right between them, which I was like panicked in the beginning, and Courtney's like, stop. You see, he wants to be right beside both of them and they could care less. But um just watching him, because it's huge, guys. You have no idea because when we travel, we're together, right? Totally together the whole time. And from the time I see you at Universal until the end, where's Gregory?

SPEAKER_05 14:11

He's with y'all, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:14

He's with y'all. And he's and he's you know, appropriate. I mean, he's doing everything, but it's just it's really fun to watch. But I was gonna ask you, Courtney, when the the kids met him, they were young. Did they have they ever asked or wondered or because I know they go to private schools, which is great, but they're really not exposed. Usually in private schools, you're not exposed to a lot of disabilities. Yeah, so has that helped or hindered, or have they wondered, or have they asked you anything?

SPEAKER_02 14:42

They you know, before they met him, we we told them a little bit just because they were so young and just trying to get it. Um, and after that, they he's just Gregory. They say nothing, they say nothing. I mean, he's Gregory to them.

SPEAKER_04 15:00

That's such a big such a big success to have it be nothing.

SPEAKER_02 15:04

Yeah, but we get a they they know you know, I've had to take them to children's hospital for different reasons, and they get to see, you know, some of the kids that are in there, and and they they get you know, they they get to see stuff like that. So yeah, I'm not happy they do, but I am happy that they get to see that because they you know they understand.

SPEAKER_01 15:26

I think it's important for other parents out there too to have those conversations with um their kids and just kind of expose that, hey, you know, there's there's there's special people out in this world, and and some have certain challenges that uh you know you may not doesn't make them uh uh any different, any less than. It's just they're just or it makes them you know just a little different, but not any less than, and and uh they're special and they're all God's kids, and um, we treat them like everyone else, and we um maybe show them a little extra love too. So I think it's important for other parents to kind of have their conversations with their kids because um you need to you know you need to lead with kindness with everyone really, but especially you know we all have our own superpowers, you know.

SPEAKER_02 16:06

Right every like we all have different things that we do great and things that we don't do as well, and uh so and I think and they're cool.

SPEAKER_01 16:17

You you mentioned they go to the private school, yeah, they go to Catholic school, and I think faith-based schools are really good about that, actually. They're really good about um sort of kind of making points and uh treating all people uh with respect and coming from a place of love.

SPEAKER_03 16:31

That's great, that's great. I did I didn't mean anything about it, I was just like sometimes when they're not exposed around it, yeah, you know what I mean. Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_02 16:39

Yeah, totally.

SPEAKER_01 16:40

Yeah, yeah, hottie tottie one, it's a faith-based one, so they usually have one, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 16:47

I didn't mean that we're in a bubble, but I just yeah, we've done this, we've done several shows about the education system, and it's kind of wild because there's like the federal government has done a lot to create standards and and to create access for kids with special needs, but at the same time, at the every school already has their own strategy, and some of the schools on the public side, it seems like the strategy is to is to kind of avoid the situation and move the kids off to another soul. That's that's been something Michelle's been leading to charge on is arming parents with the knowledge to sort of advocate for their kids in the school system, which is super complicated. But I think the example, the example you guys are given, I think that it's hard to tease it out, but like the parents that you guys have, someone in your family now who has a child with autism. That like this this friend thing that you guys have done is so important that we hope that people get get the concept to kind of reach out to their friends and say, guess what? Like the development of our child is going to really benefit from having people come in and be that kind of aunt-uncle figure and be that adult that's not a relative, which is sometimes you know, super additive. Um, but people might be nervous to kind of start because, like you said, there are some unknowns. You're like, you don't know like what uh what to expect in terms of behavior, and you feel like you gotta be trained, but you guys seem to just dive off into it, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:11

My my grandmother, who my mom's mom, both my grandmothers had a bunch of kids, but my mom's mom had 10 kids, right? My my mom had five brothers, five sisters. Wow, and after raising all those kids, she took care of special needs kids. Wow, all growing up. So I grew up going to my grandmother's house since I can remember as a little kid, and there were uh kids with special needs the whole time. So I grew up with it since I was a kid. Oh, I didn't know that. That's amazing. Oh, yeah, ever since uh uh my grandmother lived there, my great grandmother lived there, and uh and she yeah, she took at least three, four at a time, mind you, and all the and it was it was interesting to see because um some worked, some would go by themselves, you know, others would uh uh stay more at home and stuff. But my mom always, you know, we always just kind of treated them like everyone else, and uh like kind of just part of the family. So I was always exposed to it, and I just always looked at it like they were God's kids and uh special, um, and nothing but full of love. And so I was sort of like immersed in that at a young age, which it was and it was great. So it didn't even, yeah, it doesn't even phase me like at all.

SPEAKER_04 19:24

You know, that's that's awesome. That's a great good for her.

SPEAKER_01 19:27

Wow, yeah, I couldn't believe after all those kids she ended up raising more kids.

SPEAKER_03 19:31

That's man, it's super super that's a superpower.

SPEAKER_04 19:35

That is a superpower, that's super patience. Oh my goodness, that's that's that's fantastic. So, um Mario Courtney, you guys may not know this, but something we're um we're fairly large supporters, have been large supporters of the University of Texas School of Social Work for the last 10 to 15 years, and we've gotten to learn a lot about what social workers do, and there's a whole track for special needs. And what we what we learned from the former Dean in School of Social Reverse Texas is that the Latin American community is way behind on diagnosis. You know, you ever you ever heard this? I have not that there's a that there is uh uh this is a study that that the dean did. He was the dean from uh New York and then he then he went to Texas. Um, but his part of his mission, and something something and not that you need anything else to do, but part of his mission was to really focus on the Latin American community because there became kind of a con a cultural phenomenon to kind of kind of uh almost sort of willfully ignore the symptoms. And it's uh it's a a big problem because as Michelle's pointed out and and several times in her podcast, she said, like we came home to the diagnosis and we set up a school and we started training and we started this, and so Gregory benefited from like quick action that started when he was very young. Um and we and as I understand it, if the intervention starts older, it just becomes less and less effective. So that early adoption, the early recognition is something that's super important. So I think we gotta also try to work on trying to get the message out that uh that the diagnosis is not something to be ashamed of, afraid of, certainly not something to ignore because, like a lot of things, the sooner you get on it, the better chance you have to have an outcome like like you have, like we have with Gregory.

SPEAKER_01 21:17

No, you're absolutely right. And you know, I think culturally, um Latinos in in general may just not be aware or a little confused by all of it. But I think once you raise raise the awareness level, um again, that can only uh benefit uh the child, the family, everyone can uh benefit from that. But uh yeah, anything I can do, let me know.

SPEAKER_04 21:38

Yeah, we gotta we gotta work on that. Uh the dean was super passionate about it, and uh he was Latino, he's from he was uh his parents were from Puerto Rico. Um, but he made a big effort of it, and he just felt he said there was a condition in Spanish, they called it Nerovicio, but it was almost like their own sort of um, you know, kind of an explanation of something that wasn't clear, and so it didn't get it didn't get the kind of uh the kind of attention that it gets. And so we're you know, we're we're now at a diagnosis rate in the US that's very high. And and part of the benefit what Michelle's doing here is that there's a there's this um growing population of of adults that can contribute, and as Gregory points out to us, wants to create they want to contribute, and so we just need more people to accept them and more people to kind of be willing to build that infrastructure around the way the way Michelle has. Yeah, we're talking about millions of millions of people now, right?

SPEAKER_01 22:29

No, you're exactly right. There is millions. We need more Michelle, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:34

All right, well, trying to get Michelle leverage across the millions, so we'll we'll we need your help to get the word out, all right.

SPEAKER_03 22:42

And you will, this has been great, guys. I know you've got to run to another show, and we'll just oh, I appreciate this time so much.

SPEAKER_01 22:49

You got it trusting us for everybody uh you know listening. You guys are like the the epitome of how one should uh sort of if they're find themselves in the situation, sort of kind of handle it and uh to educate these people, and uh just as your friends, you know, we're proud to call you friends, and and uh we love Gregory and you guys. Anything we can do to either help raise the awareness level or to kind of flip with the conversation with other families out there that might be going through it, please don't uh hesitate to ask.

SPEAKER_04 23:18

You guys have done so much. We really appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01 23:20

Yeah, you got it, guys. Hey, nice talking.

SPEAKER_03 23:23

Uh see you soon.

SPEAKER_04 23:25

Okay, see you soon. Bye bye.

SPEAKER_01 23:26

That's a good one, Sean. We're trying. All right.