Laura's Truth

SDK sister Laura tells her journey of healing after being with a narcissistic, cheating partner and helping others to recognize and heal from similar situations.

Laura's contact information

http://www.youtube.com/@laurasalltsisters

https://substack.com/@laurasalltsisters
https://www.reddit.com/user/SalltSisters/
info@salltsisters.com

Thank you for listening: If you want to be a guest or want me to tell your story, questions or comments please email me at Shedidntknowpodcast@gmail.com

For those who are now SDK supporters, thank you so much. If you want to support the show please click the support link, I greatly appreciate it.

My Tiktok page: Katching up with Ash @katchingupwithash

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

She didn't know, but she's right because the line was a yard.

SPEAKER_00 0:19

Welcome back to SDK Wednesdays with your girl Ash. Today we have another guest, and we are gonna let her tell her story. So let's get into SDK story time.

SPEAKER_02 0:31

Yeah. SDK. Yeah, we have story time now. We'll talk, real laugh. Let me show you how to taste the story time with ad.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

Okay, all the way from Spain we have Miss Laura. Welcome to the show. Oh thank you, Ashley. And you can go ahead and tell your truth.

SPEAKER_03 1:17

Okay, so um I've decided that I'm gonna start from the end because that's the juicy part. Um, and basically I was with my ex-partner for two and a half years, and he ended our relationship via a WhatsApp text message. And yeah, the respect, the respect for our relationship was um yeah, really revealed in that message. But basically, what happened a few days before is I was on his laptop and he was working away, and his laptop very serendipitously just popped up his iMessage, and I'd seen it was really strange as well, because it was a message that was months old, and about like three or four months old, that said that this woman had really enjoyed meeting him for dinner and had a great time afterwards, too, and was hoping that they would do it again sometime. And I was absolutely shocked reading that because this was a man that I thought would never cheat on me. Like I would have bet money on that. So I was shocked. And the first thing I did was just pick up my phone and I rang him and I was like, If you've been cheating on me, I've seen these messages on your laptop. And he was just completely silent, like he just said nothing. And I was like, Are you gonna answer me? Like, what's going on? Like, are you gonna explain yourself? Have you got anything to say about this? And he just very coldly was like, What do you want me to explain? You if you don't believe me, then like what do you want me to say? And I was like, Well, are you gonna deny it? Like, is it true? What's going on? And he just the conversation was honestly just so frustrating. I couldn't get anything out of him. He was just really cold and a completely different person, and I was super angry and not getting anything out of him. So I just was like, Do you know what? I needed a bit of space to process this, and I thought, oh, I'll um I'll switch off my phone, and that way he can't he can't message me. I switched off my phone for about 48 hours, turned it back on, and had zero messages. He had made no attempt to try and apologize, like everything that I thought would happen didn't. And I was like, what the heck? We've been together for two and a half years, and this is like just so out of the blue. And then I kept trying to contact him, I kept trying to message him, I kept trying to call him, and I was just getting like one-worded answers. And then I just I think I just finally got sick of it. And I was like, Can you just put me out of my misery? If you're gonna break up with me, just do it. Because I was like, I'm sick of this waiting around. And he was like, Do you know what? Like, I'm done. He was like, You've been making me miserable, I'm so unhappy. And I was just like, Where is this coming from? It was insane. We were meant to meet on holiday because he was working um abroad in New Zealand while I was in Australia, and we thought, oh, let's meet up in Bali in between your flying in and flying out from work. So he literally broke up with me the day before that holiday, and I didn't know what to do with myself. I still went on that holiday. Um, we ended up meeting up, he was just so cold of me, just a complete different person. And anyway, this it was like really strange. Had this really uncomfortable holiday. I then came back to Australia after a few weeks and moved to the opposite side of where he was um living. And then he just kept trying to like message me, sort of giving me crumbs of hope, just checking in, maybe responding to something on like in an Instagram story. And I kept thinking, oh, maybe he'll change his mind, maybe we'll get back together, which now in hindsight, I'm I just think it's so pathetic. But I'm also waiting around for him. Um, and yeah, it just wasn't happening. And then I had like some girlfriends that were saying to me, like, why are you still in contact with him? He's clearly like not interested, you need to stop poping, you need to move on. So then they like set up a Tinder profile for me. And anyway, long story short, my ex found out, even though he was on the complete opposite side of Australia, and he messaged me saying, Get the fuck off Tinder, what are you doing on that? And I was like, What? The audacity of this man, like he doesn't want me, but he doesn't want anyone else to have me. So I ended up just sending him like a message. I think I just ended it really politely, and I was like, I can't keep doing this back and forth. Because at this point it had been about three months of sporadic messaging, like will they, won't they get back together sort of limbo. Um, so I just took control of the situation. I was like, right, I'm done. I'm I'm gonna block him and I need to move on. And I like politely said goodbye to him. And then it was six months post our breakup, and I got a phone call from one of my really close friends who was asking how I was coping with a breakup, which was not well. Um, I was I was so lost and confused and shocked. I just felt like I didn't know who I was anymore, and it was really weird, not like any other breakup I'd ever had. And then she rang me and she was like, I'm I'm glad like you're doing okay and everything. And she was like, because there's something I really want to tell you. And I was like, Oh my god, and my stomach just sort of like fell through my ass. I was just thinking, oh my god, what's this gonna be? And then she said, Oh, I found out that right at the beginning of your relationship, which was within the first three months, that one of her friends had been living in a different part of New Zealand where my ex was actually working away. And she'd revealed that she knew my ex and that they'd been sleeping together for like weeks, right in the beginning when I first met him. And I was just like, What? So then I realized that the message that had come up on his laptop was obviously signs of cheating then, and then I had this new lot of evidence come through, and she'd even said, like, if you want to speak to this girl, like I can send you messages, and I I was just so like confused because this image and idea I had of him was so different to what was coming out, and then things just started to reveal themselves, like people who I'd considered friends were saying that they'd noticed weird behaviour about him, that they'd had rumours he'd been cheating on me. So everyone around me had kind of been like keeping this this this quiet this whole time for the the duration of our whole relationship. Um, and he'd always been one of those sort of people that said that he didn't agree with cheating, it was something he would never do, he'd had it done to him. So I was just completely convinced that this man wouldn't hurt me. And and then I felt like I was reliving the breakup again, finding out about this new sort of level of betrayal, and that just really set me back again because I was now healing from a further betrayal, and just through talking to another like friend, she then said to me, Your ex sounds like a narcissist. And I was like, A narcissist, I had absolutely no idea what that word meant. And that led me onto like this big Google, and I was trying to find out what this word meant and everything, and it hadn't really clicked to me until a few months later in therapy when I found out from my therapist that I had been a victim to narcissistic abuse and that I was suffering from PTSD, which was why I was not coping very well with the breakup, which is basically my whole story. Um, well, the short version, because I I don't even know how to begin to explain all the ups and downs that were in it, but I just finally felt like I had the validation that my relationship wasn't normal. I just didn't have the language for what I'd been going through. And yeah, I it took me a very long time to process that breakup and get over it, to be honest with you. And it's what led me down the path of becoming a coach to then help other women get through this, because I was like, There's so many of us that have been through these types of betrayals without even being aware of it.

SPEAKER_00 10:58

That is very, very true, and you know what another thing you did mention when he doesn't want anybody else to have you, but he doesn't want to be with you, which is I see that way too often. I'm like, oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03 11:16

Right? It it's such a theme, and it and what's so crazy is like any sort of woman story that you listen to, there's so many things that you almost feel like they've lived your relationship and like they've been with your ex because there's so many parallels, it's like they all operate from the same playbook. I don't know if you found that.

SPEAKER_00 11:40

I have found that a lot, actually. Um, and I want to say thank you again for reaching out. Um, I know we talked a little bit before this, but uh what made you want to reach out to me?

SPEAKER_03 11:54

I yeah, like I was saying to you before, I really connected with your story. It's like these stories that women go through, and I just felt like the way you spoke of it with such like humor and compassion for yourself, but been able to laugh about it. I I just found it's so relatable. And because you dealt with such betrayal, and to think that you've got to this place now where you can talk about it and laugh about it, I just thought this is amazing. I need to talk to you.

SPEAKER_00 12:29

Thank you so much. Yeah, when I first read your message, I was like, Oh, this is so sweet. Um and I did check out some of your YouTube um videos. So can you tell people about your I guess YouTube or your other avenues that you're doing right now?

SPEAKER_03 12:50

Yeah, so I've just very recently joined YouTube, maybe like a couple of months or so, um, which is at Laura Salt Sisters, and SALT is like the word salt, but with two L's. And I have just started documenting my journey and putting more educational content out there to help women spot the signs and heal from them because I just feel like we overcomplicate healing a bit, and it took me so long to figure out loads of things that I just wish I'd known at the beginning of my journey. So I'm kind of using that channel to try and help others um heal quicker than I did.

SPEAKER_00 13:31

That is awesome. And I am gonna put all of her contact information in the description if you want to reach out to her. So um thank you so much for being on the show.

SPEAKER_03 13:45

Thank you for having me, Ashley. It's been a pleasure getting to know you.

SPEAKER_00 13:49

And SDK family, I will see you guys next Wednesday.

SPEAKER_01 14:02

Yup. It's adding on the mic, we out that's the end. If you felt this one, hit that tell the friend. Thanks for riding with me. See you next Wednesday, every k fair. See you next Wednesday. See you next Wednesday, S PK Fair