Susie's Truth

SDK sister Susie talks about how finding out her husband was cheating changed her mindset and guided her on a path to help others change their mindset as well.

Susie's Contact Info

Website

www.skyrose-wellbeing.co.uk

Facebook Group

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1220964463294361

Thank you for listening: If you want to be a guest or want me to tell your story, questions or comments please email me at Shedidntknowpodcast@gmail.com

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My Tiktok page: Katching up with Ash @katchingupwithash

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

She didn't know, but she's right and strong. Because the life wasn't yours, you belong. She didn't know.

SPEAKER_00 0:19

Welcome back to SDK Wednesdays with your girl Ash. And I do want to apologize. I am getting over a cold, so I might sound different. But I wanted to get a conversation with our next guest. So let's get into SDK story time.

SPEAKER_01 0:35

Yeah. It's Ash on the track. SDK sisters, yeah, we back. Pull up a seat. It's story time now. Real talk, real laughs. Let me show you how. SDK sister story time with Ash. Little life lessons in the flash. From the cold to the chaos, we clash. SDK sister story time, we're ash, ash.

SPEAKER_00 1:08

Uh and welcome to the show, Susie.

SPEAKER_03 1:12

Hey, thanks for having me. Excited to be here.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

Yes, I know we had a since you're I think like five or six hours ahead in Europe, we've been having a time getting together. So thank you for making time to come to the show.

SPEAKER_03 1:26

Yeah, no, I'm glad we found we managed to find something to work in the end. But yeah, yeah, very different times.

SPEAKER_00 1:31

Yeah, you can go ahead and tell your story.

SPEAKER_03 1:36

Yeah, so I I love what you're doing, your podcast. Um for me, it was uh I spent the first half of my life not even realizing that I was actually kind of a victim mode. I I felt very much a victim of my own thoughts. I had quite low self-esteem and low confidence. I didn't know at the time I had undiagnosed ADHD as well. Um, and life felt really hard, felt really sticky. And I had four children, and they were, you know, they late they lit up my life hugely. Um, and that period of my life was was quite good, but I still had a real negative feeling about myself, didn't really have confidence as such. And then I discovered that my husband was having an affair, or actually I discovered that after he left, and my world crumbled, and I ended up being a single mum to four. Um, the ex-husband who had always been on the surface a good man turned out to be a total covert narcissist, and he was desperate to try and destroy who I was, who my whole personality make up lies to other people, because he couldn't cope with this idea that he'd had an affair and left four children. Um, and so yeah, my world completely crumbled, and it was the best thing which ever happened to me, ironically, because I found myself in a completely broken state, um, completely lost, really ill, heavily involved in alcohol, and I had to learn to realize that this person who um I'd been married to and trusted and thought would protect me and had turned against me, I had to learn that it wasn't personal, it was literally nothing to do about me. So, all that sense of this bad thing is happening to me, I learned that nothing was ever happening to me, it was nothing to do with me, and I completely rebuilt who I was and how I felt about myself, um, which I never would have done if I hadn't, if the trash hadn't taken itself out, so to speak. And so now I I help other women to stop kind of feeling unsafe around other people, you know, looking for validation outside of themselves, looking for other people to give them worth as such, and to know that because when you build that real inner worth inside of you, that inner validation, it's unshakable, you know. No one can actually touch it. It's not based on if someone's loving you, if they're telling lies about you, whatever's happening in the world, when you build it from that inside core outwards, it's it's totally unshakable. And so I'd actually say that him being the knob he was actually was a making of me.

SPEAKER_00 4:17

And that's it's crazy how sometimes when you do split from someone like that, you actually find your true identity and they kind of were actually holding you back.

SPEAKER_03 4:29

Oh, yeah, yeah, totally, totally. And I think I'd lost so much sense of myself afterwards that I found that any relationships at the beginning afterwards I was trying to be what they needed. Um, and it got to the point where I didn't even know if I liked wearing nail polish on my toes, you know. And one day I actually put different colours on every single toe and looked at them and thought, I have no idea what I want anymore because I felt so lost in trying to be lovable and be likable by everybody else. That yeah, as you say, your identity is totally smashed and on the floor. And it's the most incredible thing, it's like having a clean slate. It's like, okay, I who do I want to be for me for the rest of my life.

SPEAKER_00 5:10

And you say you actually help women through that. Is that your job, or is this just something that you personally do?

SPEAKER_03 5:19

Uh yeah, no, it's my job. I'm a I'm a mindset coach. Um, and I used to kind of use it and I do emotional releasing. I used to do it. My my kind of my clients were whoever wanted to work with me, wanted to change something in their mindset. But the older I've got, the more I've wanted to help women who've had their sense of trust destroyed by life, um, because they've been looking outside of themselves for their worth and help them build that value deep inside of them. So, yeah, that's that's that's total passion of mine because I think with the mindset, you believe all these stories in your head. Your head is just filled with these weird negative thoughts and beliefs, and we make we fill in gaps that I was rejected because of this. And when we're believing those thoughts and mindsets, we're just lost. We're you know, we're a slave to these thoughts, which they're never even true anyway. So I help them get back in control of their thoughts so that they can find their true identity and live for themselves instead of everybody else.

SPEAKER_00 6:17

And what is one piece of advice that you often give them?

SPEAKER_03 6:23

Um I would say the biggest thing people could do is actually ask the question, is it true? Uh, I think there's so many thoughts that we have, which are so damaging and cruel and hard on ourselves. But if we actually listen to what those thoughts are and actually, yeah, just say, ask ourselves, is that actually true? Has that actually happened? Or am I just projecting all this pain and expectation of pain onto everything around me? And that brings a lot of freedom, I think, for people when you can start to do that.

SPEAKER_00 6:55

Oh, that is amazing. And if anyone wants to get in contact, you how can they contact you?

SPEAKER_03 7:03

Uh I'm Skyrose Wellbeing. Uh, you can find me on Facebook under Susie Phillips, and I've got a Facebook group called Unapologetically You, and that's for midlife women who are done with masking. So that's people who've been damaged by either childhood experiences, later on life experiences, and also neurodivergency when it's not been known, because that really also damages your self your self-trust. Yeah, so that's unapologetically you.

SPEAKER_00 7:27

Okay, thank you so much for joining the show. Um, SDK Family, if you want to support the show, just hit that support link, and I will see you guys next Wednesday.

SPEAKER_02 7:48

Yo, it's Ash on the mic, we out, that's the end. If you felt this one, hit share, tell a friend. Thanks for riding with me every take, every dance. See you next Wednesday, SDK Fan. See you next Wednesday, lock in again. Ash on your airway talking on my friends. Thank you for telling me one dance. See you next Wednesday, SDK Fan.