Renee's Truth

SDK sister Renee speaks about drowning in other's needs and always putting them first and finally being able to put her peace and clarity at the forefront.

Renee's Contact Info

Tiktok and Instagram

Renee Natalia @marsmammi

Books:

The Side Effect of Being a Bad Bitch

https://a.co/d/0fFjuedW

You're Not That Girl Anymore

https://a.co/d/05UyQ38W

Thank you for listening: If you want to be a guest or want me to tell your story, questions or comments please email me at Shedidntknowpodcast@gmail.com

For those who are now SDK supporters, thank you so much. If you want to support the show please click the support link, I greatly appreciate it.

My Tiktok page: Katching up with Ash @katchingupwithash

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:19

Welcome back to SDK Wednesdays with your girl ash. I hope everyone is having a wonderful Wednesday, and we have a guest today. So let's get into SDK story time. Okay, welcome to the show, Renee.

SPEAKER_01 1:08

Hi Ash, thank you so much for having me.

SPEAKER_04 1:11

And you can go ahead and tell your story.

SPEAKER_01 1:15

Okay. Um, so my name is Renee. Um, I am a woman in the in-between, learning to hold space for other women who are in in b in-between spaces.

SPEAKER_00 1:27

I'm an author, a healing voice, and I write about survival, softness, and truth. Um, like I already said, my name is Renee, and for a long time I thought being strong meant carrying everything. I carried everything for everybody if I could. And even if that made, even if that meant making myself smaller, um quiet, more convenient, easy to package. But deep down inside, I really was drowning. And five years ago, if I look at that girl who I was, I genuinely believed that was my job. I was supposed to survive whatever life handed to me. Even if survival meant abandoning myself for the comfort of anyone else. Um, what I didn't know was that what I was doing was self-abandonment. And it didn't feel it didn't feel good, it didn't look dramatic on the outside, but on the inside, I remember screaming and just remembering like this can't be it, this can't be all that there is for me. And sometimes I would just swallow my pride and swallow my feelings because that meant me being the strong one, I was the dependable one, I was the one that always figured it out. But the crazy thing about life is everything will expose itself, everything that you're trying to outrun will manifest itself in one way or another, and you can't run from it. So I I lost everything. I was disappointed. I started over building, fighting for myself, fighting for a version of myself that I knew I could be, but I didn't know who she was yet. And I remember looking around and there was no one, it was just me. And then I learned something. I learned that no one was coming to save you. No matter what you did for everyone, it's not their obligation to save you. I had to save myself. People will watch you drown, some people will even talk about it, but you have to decide to choose yourself, and choosing yourself is not easy and it's scary, and sometimes your whole identity is wrapped around what you do for everybody else. But even beyond that, you have to be able to choose peace because that's what life is about, and you only get this one. There are moments where I thought choosing myself would literally cost me everything, and in a lot of ways it did, but things have to fall apart for something even better to fall together. I didn't know that choosing myself was the first time I actually started living. In that, um, I lost a lot of friends or people who I thought were. I lost a relationship. But the silence, while at first was lonely, was the peace I needed to reach clarity. And in that moment, I wrote my first book, which up until this point I never considered myself an author. I never even thought about doing that, but it all just came to me literally one day I was driving and it just popped up in in my head, like, oh, you're gonna write a book and you're gonna call it the side effect of being a bad bitch, and that's what I did. I wrote about it because I remember going through some of the hardest seasons of my life and feeling alone, feeling completely lost. And in prayer, I realized that all of these things that I felt so passionately about, and all these things that happened to me were necessary because I knew I needed to tell people about it. Because I knew there are people who are also going through the same things who probably feel alone or feeling like this is only happening to them, and I didn't want women to feel alone. So I made a promise that I was gonna finish the book and make it through and push myself and leave the breadcrumbs for other women so they don't feel alone while they're also in this in-between phase where you're not who you were, but you're definitely not who you're you're meant to be, but you're trying to get there. I wanted women to know that the worst things that can happen to you, and you can still find peace. Love will still find you, you can still find purpose, even in the middle of a mess, even in chaos, you can choose yourself and it won't destroy you. Life will begin there, and you deserve every bit of that peace and every bit of that clarity. And once you have that understanding within yourself, I wrote my second book, which is actually a guided journal, 60-day guided journal. Every day there's a question that needs your meditation called You're Not That Girl Anymore. And it's literally just a little bit of push that you need to make a decision every day. Choosing yourself, like I said before, is not easy. Listening to your intuition is not easy, especially when what you need is the complete opposite of what everyone needs from you. But you have to stay true to yourself, you have to listen to your intuition, listen to your body, listen to your spirit because it's not guiding you wrong. I was drowning in who everyone else wanted me to be. And I for a long time let everyone else tell me who I am supposed to be. And it wasn't until I really made the decision to choose myself that I found that life can be peaceful and it can be calm, and you can be happy, and you can find moments that are just for you, even if no one else understands it's not for them, it's always for you, and you deserve it. I had to learn that, and I hope every woman listening knows that you deserve all the peace and all the clarity that this life has for you.

SPEAKER_04 8:07

And I want to say thank you for sharing that. I often feel like a lot of women they carry a lot of the weight without even realizing how heavy it is. And they often forget about themselves. I know me included, but I think especially being a single mom, like I'm the true definition of a single mom. I have absolutely no help. Um but I'm not complaining. You know, I do it every day without a fuss. It's just life, but there is always make sure you take care of yourself as well.

SPEAKER_01 8:44

Absolutely. And I feel like we watched generations of women come before us.

SPEAKER_00 8:49

Like my mom was a single mom. My mother's my granny, she wasn't a single mom, but God, she worked hard and she came from Jamaica by herself on a sinking ship and made it happen for herself. And it was just generations of women fighting for everyone else but them. And we learned that and we picked it up. And, you know, while I understand the sacrifice, uh, the mental toll that it takes on us is it's literally killing us. Like women are literally suffering through depression, through anxiety, stress causing autoimmune diseases, all kinds of things that are happening because we don't take care of ourselves. We don't stop to give ourselves the clarity. Like, when have you really stopped and thought about the things that you like and you like to do and the food that you like to eat? Like I went through a phase where I didn't even know what kind of snacks I liked because I didn't know myself as an adult. Like I had to learn all these things. So I just always encourage women to just take care of yourself mentally, um, physically, one small decision for the day that you can look back on and say, I did this for me, because this is what my soul needs right now, and you deserve that at the very least.

SPEAKER_04 10:16

That is very, very beautiful. Um, and how can people reach out to you?

SPEAKER_00 10:23

Um, I am literally on all the socials, um, Facebook, Renee Watson, um on TikTok. It's Renee Natalia. Uh, you can reach out even if you DM me. I read my DMs. Women have messaged me asking me questions or just wanting to vent. Like you are not alone. You can always DM me. Um, both of my books are available on Amazon if you go to my TikTok. Which let me just make sure that it is. Yeah, it's Renee, Natalia. Um, but I have a link tree, and both of the books that I wrote are in the link tree. So please feel free to reach out. You are not alone. If you're listening to this, you are not alone. I'm always here.

SPEAKER_04 11:10

And thank you for continuing to inspire women. And with that, SDK family, if you want to support the show, there's a link in there. And I will see you guys next Wednesday.

SPEAKER_02 11:34

Yo, it's asked on the mic, we out, that's the end. If you felt this one, hit that telephone. Thanks for riding with me every take every dance. See you next Wednesday, SDK fan. See you next Wednesday, talk in again. Thank you for the day we're dancing. See you next Wednesday, SDK fan again.