Shaqueta's Truth

SDK sister Shaqueta tells her story of an abusive husband and how he is currently in jail for attempted murder, he tried to kill her. She also talks about the path of helping other women escape before it is too late.

Shaqueta's Contact Info

Tiktok
savedbygrace032526 and Hilarous Queda

Facebook, YouTube and Instagram: 

Hilarous Queda

Thank you for listening: If you want to be a guest or want me to tell your story, questions or comments please email me at Shedidntknowpodcast@gmail.com

For those who are now SDK supporters, thank you so much. If you want to support the show please click the support link, I greatly appreciate it.

My Tiktok page: Katching up with Ash @katchingupwithash

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

She didn't know, but she's right there because the line wasn't your Welcome back to SDK Wednesdays with your girl Ash.

SPEAKER_02 0:22

Thanks for tuning in to another episode. And we have a guest today, so let's get into SDK story time.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

Yeah. It's Ash on the track. SDK Sisters. Yeah, we bet. Love the seat. It's story time now. Real talk, real last. Let me show you how SDK says the story time with Edge. From the call to the chaos we play. SD cases the story time with Edge.

SPEAKER_02 1:03

And welcome to the show, Chiquita.

SPEAKER_03 1:06

Hi, thank you.

SPEAKER_02 1:08

Um, thank you for sharing your story, and you can go ahead whenever you're ready.

SPEAKER_03 1:14

Yeah, so um I just want to kind of start at the place where I was because it was important. Um, where I was in my life, I had I was married for almost 19 years, and we went through uh a lot of turmoil. It was it was very hectic and crazy. He was leaving me constantly and had me in a very low place. Um, but the last time he left, uh, he left me about two weeks, didn't see the kids, didn't talk to me. And I was basically very depressed and alone. And I decided to go on a dating app. I was like, you know, I'm gonna download a dating app and I'm gonna start dating. Well, um, before I did that, I did say a prayer that day. I prayed to God and I said, Hey, you know, could you send me somebody who's gonna love me and be there for me and love my kids and treat me the way you know I want to be treated? And um, I went on there and sure enough, I got a message. And I got a message for the from this guy, Steven, who turned out to be my husband, my abuser. And um, when I met him, we talked, we were on the phone first. Um, so we talked for hours, like two hours. We decided to meet up, and everything seemed perfect. It seemed perfect. We talked about our goals, the things we want in life, how he's a communicator, a lover. And I was like, my God, this is the man for me. I was so happy. Well, when we met that night, um, it went really good. Like, I didn't see any red flags or anything, and we literally spent the whole weekend together. Um, by the time I went downstairs, after talking to him for so long, I was like, This is my boyfriend. Like we agreed, we was boyfriend, girlfriend, and everything was just fast and exciting. But I mean, now I know that it was just his plan, right? To be in my life and to take control. But at the time, I'm just, you know, into it and I'm believing that God sent this man to me. And um that Monday came and I went back home because we lived about a hundred and something miles apart. I went back home and we talked and and everything seemed good. But I started now, I mean, when I look back, I noticed that those were the red flags coming in. He would get angry, like explode. And he did tell me, like, hey, I had a car accident, and you know, I do have a problem with anger. And I was like, wow, my son had the same accident on the same side of his head, so I understand. And I was like, you know, I could, you know, I could help you. That's the dumbest thing I ever said was that I could help him try to control his anger and aggression because I did it with my son. So I thought that, you know, this is a great man. This is who God sent in my life, so I'm gonna, you know, just go full-fledged into the relationship. And about two weeks in, um, we moved in together. Uh, it was his idea, not mine. Um, we I went to go see him, and um, we were supposed to get a place together eventually, but he was over at my cousin's house with me when somebody broke in and they pretty much stole my things while we were asleep, and I just I freaked out. So I went, I said, Well, hey, you go back to your roommate situation. I'm going back home. And, you know, you stay with your job, right? He had job, friends, everything. So I'm like, you stay here. He says, No, I'm going with you. And I look at him and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, just stay. Because at this point, I did kind of feel something that wasn't right about him, but he he just knew what to say. He just knew how to how to make me understand and believe him. And I did. And he said, Look, I'm coming with you. I love you, I want to be with you. There's no way I'm gonna be apart from you. And I was like, okay. He packed all his things, he loaded into his vehicle, and he followed me home. And we moved in together, everything was kind of okay, but again, it was little peaks of aggression. But you know, he would always come back and say, I'm sorry, baby, like I love you, like I didn't mean to, you know. Um, but I just kept going with the relationship, and everything seemed pretty perfect to me. We got on um TikTok and we did TikToks, family content, we had followers, people were so excited to see our relationship and how great it was. And I think that is also a part of why I stayed so long because I felt like if I run out of that relationship, that I was going to be letting all the fans down. But I stayed. We um ultimately about I would say a couple months into the relationship is when it started to get physical. Um, and before then it was just verbal, it was just him calling me a B-word, um, you know, swinging, he'll swing past my face, you know, just pretty basic things that I was used to from my last relationship. It's so embarrassing because my ex made me used to those things. So when he did it, it didn't necessarily throw up a red flag because I was already used to it. But he never hit me. So I assumed that he was never gonna hit me. But a couple months into our relationship, the first time he um physically actually hit me was we were we were at the casino and I dressed up this day. He didn't like me dressing up. Of course, he felt like I was trying to draw attention, but I just wanted to feel good that day, and I put my clothes on, makeup on, and I was feeling great. Well, we go in the casino and somebody was winning next to us, and I look over at their machine, you know, just like, oh wow, like they're winning. And he was like, Why are you looking at his machine? And I'm like, Well, they're they're winning. And he was like, Well, you need to be paying attention to ours, and it made me very upset because I'm like, it's just me looking like you look too sometimes. But I think he was just extremely jealous that day, so I was just like, I'm ready to go. So we go out to the vehicle, we get in, I don't say anything, I'm just being very quiet, and it makes him very upset. And he starts calling me out of my name, and I said, Stop the car, and I get out, like literally, I'm I'm probably about 70 miles away from home, didn't even care. I get out because I'm like, I'm tired of you calling my calling me out my name. And he follows me, he gets out, he follows me. He's like, get in the car. I'm like, no, no, I'm not getting in the car. I walk some more. He's like, get in the car. No, I'm not. He gets back in his vehicle to catch back up with me. Then he jumps out again. Get in the car. I said, No, I'm not. When I told him I wasn't gonna do it, this man tackled me. When I say he hit me like I was a wide receiver, he hit me so hard I got whiplash, and I flew into the ditch. And at this point, I'm crying. I'm like super mad, I'm super upset. I'm just like, get away from me. And he's like, baby, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Like, I love you. I just want you to get in the car. I want you safe, I want you safe. And I'm like, Well, if you want me safe, why are you putting your hands on me? Well, I didn't put my hands on you. That was the thing. He was like, Because he didn't use his hands, he didn't put his hands on me. And I said, Oh, so you're trying to be technical? That's what you're trying to do. You're trying to be technical. And after him trying for about 30 minutes, he finally convinced me to get back in the car because I could not find a ride that night. So I was stuck there. So I got in the car, went home. He did what he always does. He tells me all the things that I need to hear for me to just forgive him. And I went with his technicality that technically he didn't put his hand on me, you know. He he just hit me, you know, with his body. Um, so I and I wanted to make it work, and so I just I continued. Um, he used my kids to manipulate me, and that was very, very good on his part because my daughters loved him. Like they loved him. And he would always, anytime I would say, I want to leave you, I don't want to be with you, well, let me say bye to my daughters. And then they're like, Daddy, where are you going? Where are you going, Dad? You know, and then they go to crying, and I feel bad. I'm like, well, maybe I should just keep dealing with this so that my daughters can be happy. Because he never really at that point did anything in front of my daughters. So I kept taking them back. Um, he proposed to me um after one argument that we had where I was just fed up. He's like, Come on, let's go to the lake. We're gonna go to the lake. And he proposed to me without a ring, without anything in the middle of the night. Um, and I said, Yes. I I I was still excited about being with him. I didn't really see the danger at that point. Um, then some time goes apart, goes goes past, and he proposed to me again, this time with a ring and a whole special thing. And I said yes again. And we were good for a little while, uh, but closer to us getting married, um, he started mistreating me really bad. Um I'm close to my ex-husband, so me and him kind of co-parent for the kids, and he didn't like that. And one day he uh exploded on me. He got extremely upset, and I called my ex-husband, and I was sitting in the living room on the phone, and he walks through um the curtain, like we had like a curtain that separates the dining room area. Uh not the dining room, sorry, the theater room. And he walks in, he points a gun at me, and he says, Who the F you're on the phone with? And I look and I see the gun, and I immediately turn the phone and I tell my ex-husband, like, look, he's pointing a gun at me. He's like, You need to call the police. So I call the police, they come, they say, We can't do anything. Only thing we can do is just take the gun and give it to you, and you can lock it in your truck. And I say, What? And they're like, Yep, that's what we can do. So I'm like, okay, they give me my gun, I lock it in my truck. Um, and then I'm like, I don't want to be with you, you need to leave. And he's like, I'm not going anywhere, I'm not leaving. Because at this point, he knows that I can't just put him out of my house, even though it's my house, something I had before him. You know, so he stayed around and he did what he does. Um, he comes, he hugs me, kissed me, tell him he loves me, and that he loves the kids, and and you're you're my baby, and those are my girls, and I know I just need some medicine. I just need some medicine. You said you were gonna help me. You said you were gonna help me. And I'm like looking at him, and in his eyes, it looks so sad and like so you know, true on what he was saying. And I wanted to believe what he was saying was true. So it's more time go by. At this point, he hasn't hit me again um until we got about um a month or two after we got married. Now, prior to us getting married that same day, it's really funny because that day he he we were driving to go and get married, and mind you, I pay for everything. Um, he didn't really pay for anything. He started quitting his job, like he got a job, he quit his job and just kind of depend on me. And I didn't like that, and that was not an agreement that we had, but he did. Um, but uh we just we were heading to go get married, and we had to drive a hundred and some miles away because we decided to get married in Conway, and so we go to get married, and that day my grandmother called and she's like, Hey, I can't do your ceremony, I won't be able to make it. So we made plans to go to the courthouse. So we already had set up to go to the courthouse to get married that Friday, that Saturday we would have our actual ceremony and just use a stand-in. Well, that day he it got extremely upset over I don't even know what reason, but he started calling me out my name to the point I was crying, and so I told him, Look, I don't want to marry you, I don't want to do this, I I'm done with this relationship, I cannot take this anymore. I'm done. And he was like, No, we're gonna get married, and I said, No, I'm not marrying you. I refuse to marry you, I'm not happy. And he's like, No, we're gonna get married. And the whole we had an argument all the way up until we got to the courthouse. And he says, We're gonna get married, get out. And I said, No, I don't want to marry you. He says, Get out, we're getting married. And me, dumb, I just was like, you know what? I'm just gonna get out. I'm gonna go over here, but I'm not gonna marry this man. I'm gonna tell this man that I don't want to marry him in front of the the person that's supposed to marry us. And I get out the car and I walk up, and the man just immediately starts. And I didn't say anything. Like I was literally, I don't know what was going on in my head, like why I wouldn't say anything. But when he started, he started with Steven first, and he had him say his set his vows, and he was crying, and he seemed very genuine when he said it. And at that point, I made up my mind that I was just gonna go ahead and do it. Like, maybe what he needs is to know that I'm not going anywhere. Maybe if I marry him, he would be happier and will not try to hurt me or harm me in any way, and stop calling me out of my name, you know. And that was the dumbest mistake I ever made because it did not work. It made it gave him control over me. At that point, I became his property. I became his property. He got to the point where he was like, You're my wife. Like, not in a loving way. He's like, You're my wife. I said, You belong to me. And I realized, like, oh crap, you know, I made a mistake, and how can I get out of this marriage? And I wanted to get out of it and and see if I could end it. But every every time I tried, it was like he he pulled me back, he found a way to make me just keep going and going. Well, about a couple months after we got married, um, we had another argument that day, and I was like, I don't want to be with you anymore, which I said that a whole lot. And I think deep in my heart, I was saying that, but that wasn't true. I really wanted him to treat me better. I wanted him to be like, okay, I don't want to lose her, so I'm gonna be a better person for her. So at that point, when I kept saying, I don't want to be with you, pardon me, did. It's just that I wanted him to love me and treat me better. And he uh one day, we like said after this argument, I asked him, like, hey, do you wanna have intercourse? And he says, uh, yeah, we can. And we go to the bedroom and we lock the door and we're in there in the bed. And then for some weird reason, he starts talking about his ex-wife's boobs. And I'm like, Well, I'm not in the mood anymore. Like, I don't want to do this anymore. Like, this is weird. Like, um, I don't want to do it. He says, No, we're gonna have sex, and I was like, No, we're not. I just said I'm not in the mood and I don't want to do it. Oh no, we're gonna have sex. He jumps up, he um grabs my legs and goes to pry them open. And I squeezed my legs as tight as I could to try to keep him from getting between my legs, and he still managed to pull them apart because he's a pretty big man. He's like 280, 511. He he pulled it. Um when I say force, he forced them open, he ripped them open, and he proceeded to rape me. And I started hitting him, and then I bit him, and uh, and he he still wouldn't move. So finally I just punched him, and I took my leg and I put it across his head and I kind of jerked him away. And when I did that, uh he punched me. That was the first time he actually punched me. He punched me right in my jaw, and I got extremely upset and I screamed for my son, and my son came in and he was like, What's going on, mama? And I was like, I was like, he he hit me. I didn't tell my son about the rape part. I said he hit me, and uh my son was like, You need to go, you need to go. Um, and he left, he left, forget it, it's done. And I'm like, Okay, I'm done with the situation. I'm not gonna let a man hit me. Like, I'm better than this. This is what I'm telling myself. So he leaves, and the next day I get a call from him, and I ignored it. He called me again, I ignored it again. He spent all day calling me. Finally, I answered the call. He called me once about 10 times, and he's like, baby, are you okay? I'm so sorry, I don't know what happened. I love you. Like, I didn't try to. I uh you know you're the world to me. You know I love you, and I'm listening to him, and I just little by little he started to break me down because he would he we would hang up and then he would call back, and then it's it got to the point where I was waiting for his call, you know. I'm waiting for it, and he was only gone probably 24 hours before I I let him come back home. He comes back home and I just kind of pushed past it. I put it in the back of my head, I told myself that hey, I deserved it. I deserved it because one, I shouldn't have refused him sex, two, I shouldn't have hit him first. Because I hit him, he deserved to hit me back. And that's what I was telling myself. Like, I deserved it. He did nothing wrong, it was all me. And of course, like I know now that that's just part of his manipulation tactic. And he had he had a grip on me mentally, emotionally, he had me. So, you know, I take him back and we keep going with the relationship. Um, and at this point, he hasn't hit me again. Like uh months went by, a couple more months went by, and he hasn't hit me again. Um, and we decided that we were going to move back to Kansas. Like, you know, I got a house up here. So I said, hey, you know, I'm gonna move to Kansas. But I actually thought what I told him because he wasn't treating me well, um, he was still calling me out my names and flinching like he was gonna hit me. I told him, like, look, I want to move to Kansas, but I don't want you to come with me. Now at this point, I am kind of getting close to like not wanting to be with him. Um, but I don't think I was fully over it yet. Um, so I told him, I'm like, look, hey, I want to move, I'm gonna move to Kansas, you stay here. And of course, he says, no, I'm coming with you. You're my wife. I love you. I love my daughters, you know, the host bill that he always gives me, and it works. We pack up, we move to my house here in Kansas. Um, well, before we moved into the house, we actually moved into a uh a hotel until the house got finished up. So we were in the hotel, and my kids' father moved here too. So we were in the same hotel, one upstairs, one downstairs. And so we're in our hotel, and you know, things just kind of was getting more heated and crazy because he was jealous that my ex-husband was in the same building. Even though we weren't having any involvement, he still was just like, you know what, you know, I don't want you talking to him, you know, just trying to put a control over my life. Um, but then another incident happened to where, you know, he got mad at me, called me out of my name. I took my daughters because he was very heated and he was doing these things in front of my my daughters. Now at this point, he's letting them see how he's treating me. And so I was like, no, I'm taking my girls. I'm gonna go upstairs to my ex husband's place and I'm gonna do their hair. So I go up there for about An hour and a half, two hours, and I do my daughter's hair, get their hair done, and then I go back down. Now, instead of me taking my um daughters, I decided, you know what? I'm going to actually just leave them with their dad and go down. So I go down there and he's like, hey baby, I missed you. Are you okay? I love you. Where's my girls? We supposed to go to the store. Let's go to the store. And so he had me get the girls and we go to the store. And inside the store, he, I'm still upset, you know. I hadn't quite got over the argument we had. And I'm in the store. Uh, and you know, he stops in front of me and was like, You're gonna talk to me. And I'm like, No, I'm not. Get away from my buggy, let me walk. Um, and he raises his voice at me in the store, and I said, Oh, you're gonna hit me again? Is that what you're gonna do? And he said, Man, you're effing crazy. And then he walks away. So we do our shopping in the store. We get back home, I send my daughters back to their dad because something just said, send your daughters back. Like, don't let them stay, because I don't I felt like he was still upset. So I send my daughters back to their dad, and I'm in the room, and he's there, and he's mad that I'm mad. So I'm just like, I don't even want to talk, I want to take a nap. So we go to sleep. We wake up at about three something in the morning, and um I'm like, Hey, you want to watch a movie? She said, Yeah, we can watch a movie. I'm thinking everything is like squashed, no other problem, no other deeds. Um, and so we started watching the movie, and then out of nowhere, he starts saying, Do you love me? And I said, Yes, I love you. He says, Do you love me? Yes, I love you. Do you love me? Yes, I love you. I told you I love you. He waits like a few more minutes and says, Do you love me again? Now, at this point, all the times he's asking me, Do you love me? In my mind, I started thinking, Does he really love me? And when he asked me that fourth time, I said, Do you even really love me? And he gets upset because I wouldn't ask a question of, do I love him? So he comes to the bed and he um gets in the bed and he and he tried, proceeds to say something to me. And I'm like, I don't want to talk to you. I went to grab my phone, he took my phone, he tossed it somewhere. I don't know where he tossed it. I roll over, get ready to roll over to the next bed because at this point we had two beds that was pushed together. We would just make it into one big bed. And when I went to roll over, he got on top of me right as I got in the crease of the two beds, and he held me down. And then he proceeded to choke me. And at this point, he had never choked me before. And so I am I'm in fear for my life at this point. I'm claustrophobic, he knows this, and he put when he puts his hand around my throat, he he squeezed on it really hard to the point where I was trying to, I was hitting his arm, you know, trying to get him off of me. Um, and then I ended up biting him. So he takes his hand off of my throat and then he puts his arm across my chest. When he puts his arm across my chest, he's pressing down on it, and I'm I'm fighting him. Finally, he jumps off of me, and I'm thinking it's the end. Okay, that's it. He choked me, he put his hands on me, like I'm I bit him, we're done, you know. So I get up and I'm extremely mad. Like I'm just like, okay, I'm gonna go get dressed because I had like my night clothes on. So I go, I'm looking through the basket to find me something to put on, and out of nowhere, a punch just hits me in my eye. I'm talking about so hard that I went blurry and I was like, what's happening? Like, I didn't know. I start seeing white lights and everything was just crazy. Then before I could even come close to like realizing what was happening, I feel another one and it hits me in my other eye. Then I hit in my lip, and I cover my face, and then he just started hitting me in the back of my head. And I'm like, what's happening? You know? And at this point, um, he he stopped hitting me, he hit me about seven times, and he stops, and I'm like, Oh my god, like he snapped. He hit me, like he's never hit me more than once. Like now I'm getting hit so many times. And at this point, I'm afraid and I'm backed against the window, and he goes to the kitchen and he grabs a knife and he says, I'm gonna kill you. And I say, Steven, what are you doing? And he was like, No, I'm gonna kill you. I look around and I'm like, I don't have anything to protect myself. But I look over to the right and I see on the table that his phone is there. So I run and grab his phone. Now he's standing over by the kitchen area. Now we're like a kitchenette, so he's in the kitchen area. He is not moving towards me at all, he's just standing there. So I grab his phone and he's like, Yeah, use my phone and call the police. And so I'm like, hell yeah, I'm gonna try, you know. So I get on the phone and I dial 911, and I'm thinking that would just like get him back into reality and make him not hurt me, you know? And so I'm on the phone with 911, and I'm like, hey, my husband just beat me, you know, and I need help, and he's got a knife pulled on me, and they're like, okay, we're sending help, and he's on the phone. I mean, he's standing there while I'm on the phone, but he's pacing back and forth. He's going from the kitchen area to the bathroom, kitchen area with a knife in his hand. It's like he was contemplating whether or not he wanted to kill me. And um, after he was going back and forth, and I'm still on the phone with the 911 operator, and um he comes back and the knife is gone. At this point, I'm like, okay, I need to make a run for it. Like, I need to get out of this room. So I run, I run for the door and he pushes me back. I charge at the door again, he pushes me back again. So the third time I said, Well, this time I'm gonna try to shove him really hard and just pull at the door. So that's what I did. I ran to the door, I shoved him long enough just for me to grab the hand and open the door. And before I could get fully out of the door, he grabbed my arm and I just screamed as loud as I could down the hall, hey, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me. And he lets me go. He lets me go. I took off running. I go outside and I'm on the phone with 911. Like, where's the police? Like, I'm outside, help me. And um, it took like another, I would say another 30, 40 seconds went by to a minute. And then all of a sudden I saw him coming. Now at this point, I'm scared because my gun was in the room, and I'm like, my God, did he get my gun? Like, is he coming to finish me off? Like, I didn't know what was going on. And so, you know, I I see him coming towards me and I start backing up without turning my back against him. I'm just backing up towards the fence, like as far as I can go. And I'm just like, I'm like, help me, help me. I want the phone when I want, please help me. Somebody help me. Because I'm so scared, you know. And as he got about halfway to me, the police car came and I ran to him and I said, help me, please, he's trying to kill me. And the police officer put me in the back of his uh his car, and they they talk to him. They talk to him, they call an ambulance for me, and I get in the ambulance, and he busted blood vessels in my eye. My eye is swollen, but they're like, There is nothing they could do. They was like, This is coming, like you just get give me an ice pack. And um they're talking to him, and I tell you every bit of it, took every bit of two hours for them to arrest him because they told my I told my story what happened. He still told a lie of what he said happened, and then you know, they they waited some time and then they re-ashed you to tell your story again. Mine never changed, but she said his changed, his was constantly changing. So they believed me over him, and the kummer that was in the building was not facing down the hallway, so they couldn't even use that as proof. But they did arrest him, and he did um end up going to jail. So at that moment, I felt relieved. I was like, okay, I'm safe, like I'm done with this situation, you know, like okay, I'm I'm gonna move on with my life. And then they forced me to go to court. I went to court the next day, um, and I had to be there to basically, you know, I don't know, they make me come there so they can do their whole thing. And then um they, you know, set him a bond, uh, a bond, I think they said a thousand dollar bond. Uh, well, he had to pay a thousand, it was like a ten thousand, thinking like one percent or whatever it is. And so at this point, I'm like, okay, I go to court and he's like, Yeah, could you tell her that like when my when my check comes, like I want her, you know, I want to be able to get my money. And the the judge was like, you know, she if y'all share an account, I can't tell her what to do with the money. And so he was like, Well, I want to get out. And so when this check came that Friday, I was I mind you I had been crying a lot. I've been depressed, I I miss him and everything. So I just, you know, I just said to myself, you know, like I'm just gonna go get him out. It's his money. Let me get him out, and I'm just going to let him go back to his family. That's what I was telling myself. And so I did the dump thing. Um, I went and I paid to get him out. When he got out, he didn't want to go with his family. He told me he's gonna stay with me and his family. He loves me. We're meant to be together, and he's not gonna leave. And I said, Stephen, you need to leave. Like, you need to go with your family, you need to be safe. Like, uh clearly we're not working out as a as a couple. Like, you're now dealing with charges that could possibly get you to in prison. And um, he's he he did the whole thing. He's just like, you're my family, I love you. And and like I said, I don't know how I was still able to take him back after he almost tried to kill me, after he beat me the way he did, but I still wanted him back. I still took him back. And we were we were okay for a little bit, but I tell you, I quickly regretted it because nothing changed. Nothing changed. Uh, it was about a week that went past before he was back to his same always, calling me out my name, flinching at me like he's gonna hit me, you know, doing the thing that he normally does. So I realized like, okay, he's not gonna change. So I said to myself, well, you know what? He I need to go ahead and get him help, right? I need to get him help. Clearly, you love this man. You keep taking him back after he's hit you several times, tried to kill you. Why don't you go ahead and get him help? So finally I said, okay, I'm gonna give him help. So I got a psychiatrist for him. He was talk to the psychiatrist every week. It cost me $150. I also got they prescribed medication, so I paid for his medications as well. I did that for him every week for about six weeks. And I got I talked to the prosecutor. I told the prosecutor, like, hey, he's trying to get help. Could you please like give him a break? I don't want to see him go to prison, you know, and I'm just going through all this, and we're we weren't supposed to be seeing each other, but I had them, I thought I had them drop the restrainer order, but I found out from the prosecutor that we actually didn't drop the restrainer. We dropped the criminal, the, I'm sorry, we dropped the there's two different restrainer orders, but we dropped one of them, the civil, but not the criminal. And she says the criminal, you have to go in front of the judge to see if they'll be willing to drop it. But we still stay with each other. And we, you know, just kept going. And about six weeks into him being out and him taking medications and everything, um, we were driving. We were doing Uber this night. And um, during Uber, um, you know, he started talking to me crazy. He got mad because I said that I didn't want to, he got a child that he claims to be his, but is not his. Um, that was a child the woman had after they got a divorce. I felt uneasy about that. And I told him, I said, look, I don't think it's fair that I have to take care of somebody else's child. That's not your child, that's her child. And she had this baby outside of your marriage, and y'all weren't even together. And he's like, Well, I'm the only father that he knows. And and I said, I get that. You decided to come and take care of that child, even though you were divorced and she cheated and had this baby on you. And I was like, But I don't think it's fair that I have to spend my money on your son, which is not really your son. I said, Your daughter, I don't mind, you know, because that's your daughter. But that the little boy, even though I love him a lot, he's not your child, and I'm having to put all the bills, take care of everything, including my kids, and now you want me to take care of her son. He didn't like that. I disagree with that, and and then he got extremely upset, and he FUB like that's my son, that's this. And I'm like, Yeah, you that could be your son, but get a job. Take care of him then. Take care of him with your money, not my money. And he just, you know, he got extremely upset, and I just said, you know what, I don't want to be with you no more. This time I I felt like, you know what, I really want to make an effort to not be with him. So I told myself, no matter what he says, I'm not gonna take him back, no matter what. And so I just I kept telling him, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not gonna be with you. You need to leave. Go to your family, you need to leave. So we get ready to go pick up uh my daughters, and we're on the way to pick up my daughters. Uh, and we're about three minutes away when he asked me one more time. He said, Baby, please give me another chance. Please, I love you. And I said, No, Stephen, I don't want to be with you anymore. When I said that, he reached in the armrest of my truck and he grabbed my gun. Now, this particular gun I bought from a pawn shop, and I never fired it before. I just bought it for safety, and I just I never fired it. But he grabbed the gun, he put it to his head. When he did that, I put my truck in park in the middle of the road and I jumped out and I dialed 911. When I got on the phone with 911, I said, Hey, my husband has a gun to his head, he's starting to shoot himself. And I started walking across the street. Something just told me just to put distance between me and him and that gun. And so I get across the street, and I'm I'm just walking away while I'm talking to the 911 operator. And now, like, what is he doing? And I said, I don't know. Like, I'm just trying to get away from him. And then all of a sudden, he gets out the truck. Now, panic mode sets in for me because uh he's already tried to kill me once. So I'm panicking at this point, and I'm like, uh, you know, he's he's following me. And I'm like, he's following me. Now he didn't point the gun at me right then, but as I got across the street and I turned and looked, the gun was pointed towards me at this point. Tell the 9101 operator that hey, he's pointing the gun at me now. So I started going up the sidewalk. Now it's 11 something at night. There's no people out there, it's barely any traffic on this road. And I'm walking and I'm just like, let me just get away. And so I look back and the gun is still pointed at me. So at this point, I'm moving faster and I'm telling I want to operate, like, hey, this man has the gun pointed at me. Like, you need to send a cop now. You need to help me. Where are you, ma'am? And I'm like, hey, this is where I am. Like, hurry up, please. And so I didn't hear anything, I didn't feel anything. So I'm assuming that he's just trying to scare me. That's all. But at this point, I can't be too sure. So I look and I realize, okay, what are my options gonna be? There's trees to my right and there's a bank to my left. And I said in my mind, Shakwita, if he's gonna kill you, you need to get proof. You need to get proof. So I went across the street to the bank. I ran as quick as I could. I went across the street, I went underneath that little piece where the ATM area is, and I turn around. As soon as I turn around, the gun is in my face and I hear click. And it took it took me like a second or two to realize I was still alive. At this point, I'm like begging him, Steven, please, please, I love you. Okay, I'll be with you. I'll be with you. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Like, I'm sorry, like I didn't mean it. I'm sorry, I want to be with you. He said, No, no, no. This is what you want. And the whole time he's formaling with the gun, he takes the bullet out of the chamber, he took the chamber out. I mean, the clip out, he puts it back in, puts another bullet in the chamber, he points it at me, he shoots again two times. It didn't work again. And at this point, I'm thinking, well, maybe he's not trying to kill me. Maybe he's just trying to scare me. Like he's probably just trying to scare me. But at the same time, in my mind, I'm like, I need to get out of here just in case he gets the gun working. So he does it again. He shows me, look, it's a bullet in the chamber. C, see, see, see, it's not working, it's not working. And he puts it to his head, C, C, C, click, click, click, click, click. And I'm just like, oh my God, like he's really trying to kill me. Like he's really trying to kill me. And I said to myself, you know what? I'm just going to run in front of the first view of Wacy. And I look over and I see headlights. And I run for it. And it comes to a complete stop, and it was the police. It was the police. And I he immediately said, get behind me, get behind me. Because at this point he still has the gun. And I run across the street, and there's like 10 police cars, all kinds of guns pointed on him. And uh he's like, they like put the gun down, and he wouldn't put the gun down. He's like pacing in the road. And I I had a I got a video of that where I just decided to record. And I don't know why I decided to record. I felt like I should, like I needed to. And so, but part of me like didn't want to see him shot. Like I didn't want to see him killed. And he was pacing back and forth. He's kept trying to shoot himself in the head, you know. And I just started yelling at him, like, Steven, put the gun down. Put the gun down. I don't want to see you hurt. I don't want to see you hurt. Why do you care? You don't care. Yes, I do care. I do care. No, you don't care about me. Yes, I do. I never said I didn't care about you. Only I said is that I didn't want to be with you. But I don't want you hurt. Put it down. Put it down. And and it took me some begging him to please put it down. I had got to the point where I told him, look, if you put the gun down and you get some help, I promise you I'll be with you. I promise. Like, and and and he just I it felt like that was all he needed to hear because he put the gun down. And they swarmed him, they got him, they took him to jail. And he's in there for attempted murder. And I was forced out of that relationship. I think that if he had not done what he did that day, I would have taken him back. And he probably would have taken my life. And one thing I want to say is that I feel like that a lot of people that go through this, they can isolate it. My family was there at first. They were like, Yeah, he did what to you? Like, oh, you need to leave him, right? And they were feeling sorry for me. But when I went back, it made them all mad. And they just said, forget it. She's gonna keep going back. And so they just completely, instead of them keep fighting for me, they gave up on me. And I think that's a lot of lot of it too. Like, if I had somebody that stayed in my corner and just said, Look, Shakita, you can do better. I'm here for you. I'm here to talk with you. I can get you through any of the pain that you're going through. Like, please don't go back. Nobody did that for me. Everybody was just like, whatever, she's gonna go back. She's just gonna go back. And they didn't care. And I feel like that's what they do. They isolate you from your family and your friends, and that's how they learn to take control over you, and you start to believe that they are the only person that loves and care about you. And that's why I went back so many times. But I thank God that I did get out of this situation, and now I'm to the point where I'm trying to save lives because to me, I feel like God saved me. Um, and uh now I'm trying to save another life. I'm gonna tell my story as many times as I can. I'm gonna do everything I can to try to help the next person see that it's not safe. You think that this man loves you, but what most people don't know is that love can be deadly. He can love you and still kill you. So that's my story.

SPEAKER_02 43:38

I wanna say I'm so sorry all that happened to you. I I know telling you a story, I was over here in tears. Um so what one piece of advice to give ladies that are in the same situation right now.

SPEAKER_03 43:57

My piece of advice has always been If he hits you once, leave. Leave. He will do it again. It doesn't matter how many times he tells you that he loves you and he will never do it again. I've never done that before. It doesn't matter. He'll do it again. It don't matter if it takes two weeks, a month, two years, he'll hit you again. You have to leave on the first hit. That's the safest time. Because a lot of times when they first hit you, they're shocked that they even did it anyway. Like, because you know, that's how it is. Like, oh, I didn't even know I could hit a woman. Um, and a lot of times they're not as dangerous at that point. So when you when you first get hit, enough is enough. I'm gone. Don't look back, don't talk to them, don't look at them, don't don't try to see them, nothing. Just go.

SPEAKER_02 44:47

And I want to say thank you for helping others as well. And I hope you keep telling your story and keep helping people because it's very, very powerful.

SPEAKER_03 45:01

I definitely will. I definitely will. My page is saved by grace. 032526. 032526. Save by Grace. And and I every day I post inspirational content on TikTok to make sure that people know that there is love and life after abuse. And I make sure that I just, you know, just show the ups and downs. Like it's all kinds of stuff on there, even with me leaving him, how hard it was, it's not gonna be easy. You're gonna cry, you're gonna be sad, you're gonna be depressed, but you just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other and you keep going. And that's why on my page I have so much stuff on there. I was being real. You'll see me crying, you'll see me happy, you'll see me dancing, singing, praising the Lord. And honestly, the way I got past all that was to go to church. Um, that was what I did. I went to church and I got a church family to surround me, and that made a huge difference. It made a huge difference. So um, you know, that's another thing I want to say. Get you a family, even if you don't go to church, find somebody that's gonna be in your corner and that's gonna always be there to support you, uplift you, and give you the things that you need to get out of that relationship.

SPEAKER_02 46:16

That is very, very true. Um, and I will also leave all of her contact information in the description. Um, I want to say thank you again for coming on the show. Thank you. And SDK family, I will see you next Wednesday.

SPEAKER_00 46:43

Y'all, it's Ash on the mic, we out, that's the end. If you felt this one, hit that telephone. Thanks for riding with me. Every take, every dance. See you next Wednesday, SDK fan. See you next Wednesday, lock in again. Ash on your air with talking on my friends. Thank you for today with dance. See you next Wednesday, SDK Fan.