How To Address Complaining in the Home – Discipleship for Dads

Scripture treats complaining and ingratitude with immense gravity. But how do we teach a whiny six year old about the eternal ramifications of discontentment? The dads talk about modeling gratitude and joyfulness, rather than self-pity and criticism…some of the biggest causes of ingratitude and grumbling in a family…how to lovingly and consistently correct complaining…and the strategies that have helped them the most to create a thankful spirit in their homes.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Welcome friends to Generations, Kevin Swanson with you today. Another episode of Discipleship for Dads with Todd Strasser, Bill Roach, and Danny Craig, and yours truly Kevin Swanson. And today, I'm just I'm just not liking this topic. I'm not liking this topic. Can we do something else? Uh today today. I'm complaining about the topic this morning. Today is complaining in the home. So how how do we as dads address the issue of complaining in the home?

SPEAKER_02 0:37

Hypothetically.

SPEAKER_00 0:38

Hypothetically, if it would ever happen in our homes, which it turns out it does a lot. But the Bible takes this really seriously. I think I was looking at some scriptures this morning and found immediately that scripture is very clear on this. Go figure. God is very, very strong on this subject. Do all things without complaining and disputing. That's Philippians 2 14. And then 1 Corinthians 10 16. Now these things become our examples, meaning the Israelites are examples. Yeah, yeah. Because they they complain in the wilderness. To the intent that we should not lust after evil things as they also lusted, and then nor complain, as some of them also complained, and were destroyed by the destroyer. Oh man, try saying that to your six-year-old. Let's uh uh children today we're going to avoid being destroyed by the destroyer. I need an Amen about now. Amen. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

So apparently our complaining and gratitude is a pretty vague on and off switch in terms of our light to the world. It brings darkness. It brings darkness or it brings light.

SPEAKER_00 2:00

Right. And and what kind of home do we have? I I would say complaining presents a huge downer to the home. Absolutely. Wow, you start complaining, and it tends to have a levenist effect on everybody else, right, Bill?

SPEAKER_03 2:18

Yeah, and it has a group effect too. One one gets the other one going, especially in children. You know, you get that complaining spirit. All of a sudden, instead of one or two, you have five or six complaining. Yeah, and it's out of control.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

I think we've all dealt with this. Now, I think the big thing is to identify where it's beginning to creep in. And you know, I tell you, as dads, we set uh the tone for the home. We do. I think the idea that you know the dad entering the home, say after a hard day at work, his attitude at that point has a huge impact on everybody else. If you walk into that house singing, This is the day the Lord has made, Great is thy faithfulness, right, and you have an upbeat. Now, this is one thing I'm trying to do when I'm walking back into the home, I'm home, you know, praise God, kind of uh an attitude that makes all the difference in the world. Now, again, I think what where we're gonna start this is is what where is my spirit with this? And I got to thinking, you know what? Uh the spirit of ingratitude, criticism, never satisfied, never happy with what God is doing and what God's giving to us. That's that's a bad spirit. And I think I sometimes do get negative and complaining over politics, the state of the nation, the church. And there's a point at which you know we can say, Wow, things aren't going very well right now, but then we step over that line. Where is that line, Todd? Where where are we stepping over that line?

SPEAKER_01 3:56

Well, and then dad not only is he coming home, like you said, he he's gonna really affect the whole culture of the home, the whole fragrance of the home, the attitude of the home. Because is it is are we looking up to God? Are we remembering God? Are we trusting in God, or are we very focused down here on like what's not going perfectly? And dad can set the tone one way or the other.

SPEAKER_00 4:18

Right. So it's a matter of of our attitude towards God. Yeah. Isn't that what it is? It's like, okay, are we grateful, God, for all the wonderful things you've done for us, and are we hopeful and expectant of the great things you're going to do in the future because you are good. God is good all the time. Right. Right? All the time, God is good. I think that's probably antidotes to complaining, Danny.

SPEAKER_02 4:42

Well, uh, like I like you said, I was a little a little nervous about this topic, uh, but mostly excited because I get to learn from all of you guys. But uh this last weekend for our 11th anniversary, we got away and took a little bit of inventory of our home. And uh probably the number one thing that rose to the top was we got a gratitude problem. We got a complaining problem in our home. So uh we we saw that in some various other sort of symptomatic areas, laziness or or or whining or different things, and we kind of you know traced it back up to this issue of gratitude. So that that might be helpful for some to think about. If you're dealing with laziness or other behavioral issues, oftentimes it comes back to this spirit of gratitude. And then, you know, that we kept tracing it back, and you know, it kind of wound up with me. And really, okay, oh boy, right? Right. And and I think uh realizing that I was bringing a spirit of heaviness to the home over the last several months. And I think that can stem from what you're talking about, um, uh a man-centeredness, also self-pity. Um, you know, no one relates to the situation that I'm going through. You know, other people don't have to deal with these things. I shouldn't have to deal with these things. Um, but I think what really helps with that is Genesis 50-20, uh, where you know Joseph's interacting with his brothers, and they're really afraid that he's just gonna put the kibosh on them after Jacob dies. And Joseph looks at them and he says, Guys, you're looking at this all wrong. God, you meant it to me for evil, but God meant it to me for good. And so uh my prayer is that I can live as a dad with that perspective, no matter what I face. Work uh at church, uh in my family, what's that God-centered perspective? He means it for to me for good.

SPEAKER_01 6:34

Yeah, God-centeredness and God wordness, you know, for dad. Right. That that Psalm 103, bless the Lord all my soul, and forget not all his benefits. Because when we complain, or at least what we've really done is forgotten the goodness of God. Like we we you know, we're we're we're so focused on this thing, this one thing, or maybe it's a couple things, but and think of all the things that God has done and continues to do by his grace, by the spiritual blessings, the physical blessings, everything he's sustaining us by. And I think as dad, we dads, we need to constantly be speaking that for declaring that, not only you know, in our souls, out of our souls, but to the whole household.

SPEAKER_00 7:14

God is good and God has the wisdom and the power to make sure that all things will work together for good. You you've just got to believe that every moment of the day, Bill.

SPEAKER_03 7:25

We were in Psalm 121 the other day, and verse one really caught my heart. I I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth. There's there's an act of faith to be able to lift your eyes and lift yourself out of when you were saying all this stuff down here you get focused on, but you lift up and you see the God who created heaven and earth, and then all of a sudden you see all the things that He's doing and you get your mind off of all this stuff down here. But it's an act of faith. Lifting my eyes up is an act of faith.

SPEAKER_00 8:02

I want to ask, what is it that helps you with gratitude? What it was helped me is two things. One is keeping the three lists straight. Number one, what do I deserve? Number two, what has God given to me? And that's a long list. And then thirdly, what was that I was complaining about? So that that it helps me. In other words, stay in that order. Okay, what do I deserve? That's that's one. Okay, got it. Okay. What has God given me? Okay, that goes on for years and on into eternity. And then what was that I was complaining about? So and then and then the second thing that has helped me immensely over the last, I'm gonna say three years is just waking up with uh a prayer of thanksgiving before my feet hit the ground. Three things I am thankful for today. And uh I mean I think I've done that consistently for the last you know twelve hundred and forty-seven mornings or whatever it is, but that has helped me. No question that's been helpful. Other other helpful things for gratitude in the home.

SPEAKER_01 9:02

My sons, I have two sons that are older, and uh, we start every morning by texting each other three things we're grateful for. Wow, it's good. That's how we start. So if you start the day, kind of like you're saying, right? But if you start the day and then you and then you write, you have to think, what am I thankful for? And you and you write and you write those and you send them to someone and they see it. But then to see other, you know, two other young men and what they're thankful for, that really goes because there are gonna be six more things I didn't think about. And I'm like, well, yeah, those are good things to be. That's true.

SPEAKER_00 9:32

That's so in other words, you got this group playing off on each other in the positive direction versus the negative direction, which was Bill was talking about.

SPEAKER_03 9:40

You know, I yeah, the the the the big group thing can work both ways for sure. That's why God wants us to be fellowshipping with with each other. But I I think in the moment, it's you know, I was sitting at my desk the other day and I was warm. I don't know, I just hot, and all of a sudden the AC came on, and my feet are right over the vent, and the air, cool air just came up, and I was like, Oh Lord, thank you for air conditioning. Yeah, or I'm in the shower on a cold winter morning, and that hot water just comes over me. I don't know, just warm water coming over my body. I just stand there for 10 seconds and praise God from whom all blessings flow. And then I think of all the people in the world that don't have the shower, I think of all the people in the world that don't have the AC. And I'm very it makes it it's very humbling to me that God has blessed me in all these ways. And if you could see the little things constantly during the midst of it and give praise during the middle of it, I think it's a good thing.

SPEAKER_00 10:36

It's also helped me to see the glass 99.9% full in the sense that you know, just look around you, Kevin, and see and watch what God is doing. Uh the rain falling, the grass growing, the the the the fact that you know what is going wrong right now, right? Like right now, and you're looking at the 360 degree around you, and you see that God has given us a beautiful day, and there's so much going right. Okay, there is that one thing. I got that one email this morning. Yeah, okay, there's that one thing. But okay, let's set that aside for a moment and let's look at the rest of it. So that's helped me as well. Danny, any other kind of gratefulness things that have helped you and your family?

SPEAKER_02 11:19

Uh for me, it's getting outside first thing in the morning. There's something about stepping outside, getting out of my four walls, uh, and looking at the mountains that God made, the beautiful plains, the trees, the sky. And uh the it's this feeling of, well, this is this is a lot bigger than that small thing I was worrying about inside. And then um I, you know, uh some exercise, and generally it's you know a mix of prayer and exercise for me in the morning where I'm trying to proactively not just thank God for the things he's done for me, but also praise God for his character and uh go a little bit deeper in terms of God, who are you? Uh what what is the character of the God that I'm serving for and living for today? And then by God's grace, hopefully I can take that back inside and greet everybody with that sense of joy. We try to do a little bit of a morning routine uh of uh one chorus together, a couple of scripture verses together, and a prayer before I head off for work. And so um generally by the time everybody's done singing, this is the day, this is the day the Lord has made, everybody's kind of bouncing up and down a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 12:27

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 12:27

And that's a a little bit of a moment for all right, guys, it's gonna be a great day. This is your day to serve the Lord, to serve mom, to obey. And and and those punctuations throughout the day, I think, help us. We come back to dinner time, and it's and you know, a little bit more of what are you thankful for today? And then family worship, um, same same kind of dynamic. Trevor Burrus, Jr.

SPEAKER_00 12:47

Singing. It's amazing what singing does. It does something to the heart, it just draws out that joy and that appreciation, gratitude to God. So you're right. And I like to sit down at the piano and just play and just sing uh at any point throughout the day. All right, um, let's talk a little guys. I mean, what is it, first in a broad sense, what is it that creates the environment or the the the sort of I don't know, reinforcement for this complaining spirit and you know, spoiling the children, uh encouraging a self-centeredness versus serving one another, too much pampering and entertainment without the children being engaged in chores and and work and serving others. Um these are some of the things I was thinking could contribute to an attitude of ingratitude. But you know, thoughts on this? I mean, how do we how do we create just a general uh atmosphere uh for for gratitude and avoid the ingratitude? Or how do we avoid spoiling a kid? Maybe that's one of the better ways to ask the question. Thoughts on that?

SPEAKER_03 13:56

Yeah, I th I think we've talked many times about work and inculcating not only a spirit of work in the home, but a spirit of joy in the work.

SPEAKER_02 14:07

In the work, work is the good stuff.

SPEAKER_03 14:08

Yeah, what's that? Work is the good stuff.

SPEAKER_02 14:10

It's not just the thing you get through so you can get to the good stuff in life.

SPEAKER_03 14:13

Exactly. And this is this is our our culture, right? Everybody lives for the weekend, Wednesday's the hump day. Garfield hated Monday mornings because there's a whole full uh week of work ahead. So we're we're getting rid of that spirit. We're finding joy in the work rather than this work's gotta get done, we gotta get this done so we can go do the real stuff we want to do, we want to go play. You know, that that can create that selfish spirit because then they're starting to count the times. You know, oh, we did two hours of work, therefore we get two hours of play, and then all of a sudden it's an hour and a half of play, and they're they're complaining and selfish.

SPEAKER_01 14:49

Yeah, and I think it's also what are we as dads talking about? What are we speaking to our children about? Are we is it about, oh, I want to get this new thing and I want to have this next thing? Is it is this accumulation of stuff? Or are we talking about the Lord again? Are we talking about you know the spiritual blessings? I was thinking about Jesus in Luke 12 talked was the parable of the rich young uh rich fool. He says, Take heed and beware of covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of things he possesses. And what a word for our day, for our culture, where that's what it seems to be all about. But yeah, but what are we, you know, even helping our children understand? Like, is work good? Or is service good, or just is devotion to the Lord a good thing? Um, so we I think we have to be thoughtful for our own hearts, but also for our family about what are we saying? This is a good thing, uh, and and we rejoice in this, and we look forward to an opportunity to do that.

SPEAKER_00 15:45

So it I guess it has to be a both and to some extent that we appreciate the opportunity to serve, to be servants, to enter into the joy of our Lord in our work, in our stewardship of the things he's given to us. So there's some joy in that. There should be joy in that. Yes. But there can also be joy in receiving a good gift from God. So I think that's the other aspect is the spoiled child gets so much, so drowned in chocolate cream pie. You know, I mean, imagine you know, he's got chocolate six feet of chocolate cream pie. Or thirty gifts on a Christmas morning. Too much. Just too much. And you've seen this with some of your children, I I guess at points, where you just there it's not it's not fun. It's it's the joyfulness of receiving a gift is is the gratitude and the appreciation for the giver, not so much the gift. That's right. So if we can train that into our children, uh we're beginning to to to give them the real the real source of real joy.

unknown 16:51

That's right.

SPEAKER_02 16:51

Yeah, and and and that's a heart thing. Uh but it's also a habit that we have to cultivate. Sometimes our you know, our our hands move our head, which moves our heart, and you know, it's it's it's a both hand, right? So uh at birthday time, uh we're prepping the children, all right. You're gonna receive some gifts, um, but between each gift, uh you you can't just move on to the next gift. Yeah, you need to go uh to the person that gave it to you, give them a big hug and say thank you. And so that's good. Trying to coach them through that in real time. I think one time we did this thing where before you could unlock the next present, you had to express some gratitude. So that that was the key to unlocking the next next present. Um, so some some training and some cultivation, some coaching around those habits of expressing gratitude.

SPEAKER_00 18:21

All right, the food battle. How do you win the food battle? Now, Daddy, you I think at what point sticks in my mind, you said, Well, wow, you know, six o'clock is uh World War III for us or something like that. And our our our our family's been kidding around with that statement you made uh a year or two ago. But how do we win the food war? Let me let me start.

SPEAKER_03 18:43

Let me start because it's the first, it was it's a food battle for me. Food's always been a battle for me. And uh I think some of it came down to gratitude for me. Uh you know, always wanting something more, something tastier, or just eating more. So food has been this battle, and and I so I'm expecting my children would struggle with it with it too. But your grandchildren too. Yeah, yeah. The sins of the father keep going down, right? But his mercy endures forever, a thousand generations. A thousand generations in 333 ratio. You preached on mercy this past Sunday. That was very that was very helpful because I need a lot of a lot of mercy. But I think we start with ourselves. What is our attitude towards food? Because if you if you have a lot of children struggling with food, you get you've got to look at yourself first too. What what is my spirit? You know, when my wife puts something on the table that's not necessarily my favorite dish, what do my children see my me do in reaction to it? So it's like, you know, thanks, sweetheart, for making this meal. This is gonna be great. Thank you. So we we we it starts with us, but yeah, the the children can be about them. So Danny, you're in the thick of it.

SPEAKER_00 19:48

So I I I want to be I want to hear what happens. Uh are you winning?

SPEAKER_02 19:53

Well, I think we've won. We're winning on the not pickiness front overall.

SPEAKER_00 19:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 19:59

And so um you know, I think that has just come down to Megan and I are excited about the things that we eat, and we just generally expect that the kids are gonna have a little bit of everything. So um and we eat a a really broad variety of foods from an early stage. So I think um what we've just noticed with our kids is there's something wired into every American child that they love carbs more than anything else.

SPEAKER_03 20:26

So um the ones with a lot of sugar, too.

SPEAKER_02 20:29

Yeah, so we we've been aware of that from the get-go. And and so that's the the carbs always come last, generally speaking. So you eat your vegetables, you eat your meat, and then if you finish those portions, then you get the roll at the end. So that's one thing we've done is we order the order the food so that the thing that they're most likely to eat is the last thing they get. I even typically don't put it on their plate until the rest of the portion is is done. Then they can go back and get the chips.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

And they need to be thankful for the veggies. Yes. And then they need to be thankful for the meat and so forth.

SPEAKER_02 20:59

They love they they've learned to enjoy it.

SPEAKER_00 21:00

So it's a matter of training.

SPEAKER_02 21:02

It's a matter of training, yeah. And so we have salad every day, and by God's grace, all of our kids, you know, love salad. Sometimes they're complaining that there's not enough salad, you know, at the table. So uh I I think that is a lot of just palate development. Yeah. Where we struggle more is the you know, the the laziness around getting all the food down in a timely manner. So I I I I think you know, we're in the middle of that one. Timers help us. No dessert if you don't get your food done by this much time helps us. But you know what? I can't say I've cracked the code on that one yet. All right, Todd.

SPEAKER_00 21:35

Uh you you've got some experience.

SPEAKER_01 21:37

Yeah, I mean, well, so I I was there was a time in my life when I was in the military at a particular institution for four years. And for four years, you food is just set in front of you. You don't get a choice, and you have to eat it all. So I you know that I've carried that a attitude forward into the household. And so I mean, if if generally if I I think starting young helps, you know, starting young, like you know, if this is just this is what we we put food in front of you, you're going to eat it, and you're actually going to eat it all too. So portion size, we're thoughtful about that, because you always can always get more if you're starving or something. But but um, but basically, the you know, we've said, well, here's your food, and if you don't want to eat it, that's it'll be there for the next meal. Yes and the next meal and the next meal. And the other thing is just for children, try to open their aperture back to gratitude a little bit. We have a dog named Charlie. Charlie, and I remind the children, children continually Charlie eats the same exact thing over and over and over again. Be grateful for whatever food you don't like. Seems to be pretty excited for Charlie. I mean, look at Charlie, he's on his you know, one billion. Meal of the same exact food. Be thankful. He's jumping up and down over it. Sometimes these things help children. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:49

But it's also why he comes underneath the table waiting for you to drop something.

SPEAKER_01 22:53

Oh, yeah. He's ready to do that.

SPEAKER_00 22:56

All right. So how do we correct complaining with our children? That's a question. You know, do we now to me, consistency is a big deal in the whole thing. And parents let things slip. We do. We just let things slip. And I think there are points at which we all need to be, you know, studying God's word and finding out, you know, do all things without murmuring of complaining, be thankful for all things, et cetera. Let all things be done with gratefulness. So reading these scriptures, and I think there's a point at which you know you're listening to a podcast like this or something, and you're sudden suddenly thinking to yourself, I think we've let this thing slip. Well, you you had this conversation with your wife over the weekend. So you've come to this conclusion that you know you're just not being consistent on this issue. And this your household is not really honoring God in this matter. And so, you know, there needs to be a moment at which we say, We're gonna shore this thing up. We're we're gonna be working on this. We need to make a pretty important emphasis on this thing. And uh, how do we do this? And I think the first thing we do is is we have to emphasize the positive. So in family time together, as we're reading scripture, it's a good thing to to just, you know, let's let's talk about the things we're thankful for. You know, I'm thankful for mama, um, mama's thankful for the clean house, uh, the child's thankful for their bike and for teddy bear, and you know, so everybody's thankful for something. Good. Well, now let's sing, you know, Great Is Thy Faithfulness, or Thank You Lord for Saving My Soul. And uh, and we'll all actually have a prayer of Thanksgiving. So we go around, do a prayer of Thanksgiving, and then here's what I encourage is is for the rest of the day, you just inform the child, you know, we're gonna be watching out for this murmuring issue, uh, this complaining issue. If we hear any of this, we're actually gonna be right on it. We're just gonna give you guys a heads up. The you know, there's a new sheriff in town. Um, we're gonna be addressing this issue. Yeah. And uh so we're sitting down for lunch and you know, pulling out the spaghetti for the sixth day, you know, warming it back up for you know, lunch. And somebody says, Spaghetti again? Who would say that?

SPEAKER_03 25:04

I can't imagine.

SPEAKER_00 25:06

This is what I encourage. Uh mom or dad just say, okay, we gotta go deal with this. So and and so you're you're reminding them that we're gonna be on this, and then you discipline for it at that point, and then do the best you can to stay consistent on that issue for a few days. And I think that helps. For sure. Are you with me? Oh, yeah. So so um consistency to me is important. Now you're gonna let consistency slip, but you do need to shore that back up at times in your family culture.

SPEAKER_03 25:37

There's a there's also a sense, and God withholds blessings from us at times when we're not doing well. And I think withholding things, I mean, can you imagine you know, you have children complaining about the food and you say, okay, let's all sit down to dinner, all the tables all set, and all of a sudden there's no food brought out.

SPEAKER_01 25:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:54

And you just start to have a little lesson on gratitude, and nobody's eating till tomorrow morning. They're gonna come to breakfast, pretty grateful for whatever you're gonna put on the table. We're gonna do oatmeal. Yeah, right. Or if somebody says spaghetti again, you say, No, actually, we're not having spaghetti again. And then you take the spaghetti off the table and they have nothing until the next morning when they have spaghetti again. They might be a little bit more grateful. So some of it's withholding uh blessings, too. The other thing I want to mention is look for judgmentalism and complaining go hand in hand. They're brother sins. If you're struggling with one, probably the other one's right around the corner or happening at the same time. So the judgmental spirit leads to a complaining spirit, and the complaining spirit leads to a judging. I don't like what's going on. I don't like the situation. It's a judging spirit and a complaining spirit that go hand in hand.

SPEAKER_00 26:46

Yeah. And the consistency in correction is important. Again, we don't have to use the rod every time. As you said, other forms of consequences are all right. But uh but I do think you know, correcting the issue, saying, you know what, there's been a complaining spirit this morning, and we need to confess this to God and ask for his forgiveness now.

SPEAKER_02 27:07

I think the overall routine of the home is really important if we have uh uh homes that are characterized by just constantly satisfying children's desires with especially with media, uh, versus cultivating uh joyful habits of work. We've already talked about work, but just trying to tie it back to the overall culture and and routine of your children's lives. Uh I think that that that impacts us quite a bit. Uh too much vacation is is not good for our our family. And we just and that's kind of what we reflected on. Okay, June, our our children kind of got out of uh their daily routine. Yeah, um okay, it's time to get back into work and school and good things uh that fill their time, their mind with good things, and and that tends to impact uh their focus.

SPEAKER_01 27:57

Right. And you know, there's the risk responding to the complaint, the both through correction, and you know, that's good. But I think also as dad's what's helpful to to be proactive, to always be, like you said, cultivating. I mean, occasionally sometimes we'll sit down for dinner and I'll just say, you know, let's say it's spaghetti. I'll just say, isn't it amazing? Like we went into the store and bought this. And like, what did it take to get let's think, let's talk through this, children. What did it take to get this on our plates? Right. Tomatoes, yeah. I mean, like a kiwi. I'm like, where do they even grow these things? Like, how did it get from there to here? And and just yeah, you know, and it really it it it it it cultivates gratefulness. They're like, I mean, all this stuff on your plate took I like in a logistics infrastructure and some dude planting seeds and watering it and growing it, and wow. And it's just uh, you know, that's what we're always cultivating. It's like, wow, God is good. Like, yeah, I've I didn't do all this.

SPEAKER_00 28:49

One of the stories that our families has related many times is uh Laura Engels Wilder. It would have been in one of the later books where they're having a a party, you know, of young people in South Dakota, and everybody gets an orange, like one orange, and it's this really big deal. Like I don't know if it's in November, December, they have their orange. Wow. And uh and this is like the treat of the year for them. Yeah, and we're like we get these oranges all year round. Yeah, yeah. No big deal. The trucks just roll them in, and uh, we can have an orange every day of the year if we want to. It's a huge difference. Yeah, so these sorts of things can really help our family, of course, the starving kids in Africa and that whole thing.

SPEAKER_03 29:34

Does fast fasting help with gratitude for food? Right? I think so. I mean, uh just skipping a meal every once in a while will make you appreciate the next one, too. Oh, absolutely. And I think children can fast. I think you have to be careful uh with it. But I I think if you're if you're struggling with them just not being grateful, you're gonna have to withhold some things. I think it's all just human nature. All of us need it. If we get too much chocolate cream pie, it's probably time to say no cream pie for a month or something. Yeah, right. Right.

SPEAKER_00 30:03

Skip dessert. Yeah. So that's good. Just no dessert. Right. And we sometimes we got to the point. And I'll tell you what, when you're a grandfather, you're just treating everybody all the time, and you need to watch out for that. Yeah, I've had to watch out for that. You know, we can't be celebrating every day of the year, otherwise it's not a celebration anymore. But uh let me end with this. Do you have a happy home? Is your is your home a happy home? And and what what has brought that about, Bill?

SPEAKER_03 30:30

You know, I was thinking it's some we're we're called to take up our cross daily. Yeah. And and cross-taking is not easy. It isn't. But you well, you look at Jesus for the joy that was set before him. He endured the cross. I think, how did Jesus have joy? I mean, I think I think of it, I would have had to buckle down, I need to get through this, and I need to die for everybody's sins in the world. Uh joy wouldn't necessarily be on my mind. It would be, I gotta get this done. But he did it for the joy that was set before him. So I I think that the joy aspect is so, so important when Nehemiah, in the midst of all those difficulties, what did he say? The the joy of the Lord is our strength. If you're you're you're looking for strength and help, it's the joy of the Lord that's gonna bring it. So we got to have happy homes.

SPEAKER_00 31:23

Yeah, Danny, uh thoughts on joy. Do you have a joyful home?

SPEAKER_02 31:27

I think we in many ways we do, obviously, room to grow. Um, my my my my parents got a hold of this tape series a number of years ago that that was called Return to Joy. And I don't remember all the content, but but the simple the message was simple. In every situation, in every interaction with your child, you got to get back to joy after every discipline, after every correction, after every situation, uh, are we getting back to joy? And I think the thing uh that anchors all of that is our joy in Christ and our joy in the gospel. Yeah, right. And and and a big part of that is honest confession. Um uh David speaks in in Psalm 51 about the joy of God's salvation. And so uh I think for us, uh what I'm convicted of and want to grow in is this honesty about my sin, our sin before God, gratefully appropriating his mercy and forgiveness, and then getting back to joy in God's salvation. Right. And that's a that's an abiding joy that's rooted uh in something that cannot be taken away from us.

SPEAKER_00 32:29

Yeah, somebody wants to say joy is the bottom line of the bottom line. You want the ultimate net at the bottom line of the Christian life, it's gonna be your joy factor. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:38

Joy will come from trusting in God, and so I think that's what we're we're continually walking in in the home. That God is good, God loves us, and God is with us. He's He's with us all the time. Every circumstances we're walking through, it's God knows. He He's He's right here with us, He's going before us, in fact. And uh so we we can have a we can have but we can pe have peace and we can have rest.

SPEAKER_03 33:00

We have we have a sign, my wife has one, and where I sit in my chair for morning worship, it I it's right directly in front of me. It's just a little one sitting on on a desk and it says, It's not happy people who are thankful, it's thankful people who are happy. So joy is going to come from the gratitude. Yeah, yeah. It's not that you're I need to be happy and then I'll be thankful. It's I'm gonna be thankful and the joy will follow.

SPEAKER_00 33:27

And a recognition of the good things that God has done, uh a remembering of the great things that God has done for us in Jesus Christ. And uh indeed the gospel itself is is the great message of Jesus overcoming these enemies of sin, the devil, and death at the cross, and uh and and now we enjoy that victory. We live in that victory uh by faith, and uh and then we experience hope in the midst of suffering and trial, knowing that uh that these things too will pass, and He has uh a great uh eternity ahead for us. Those those reflections, I think, are everyday reflections uh for us that are joy producers in our lives. And speaking of gratitude, we uh we have been very, very grateful for the good things that God has given to this ministry over these 22 years. I think we've been broadcasting this generations radio uh for 22 years. And uh we we want to invite other folks to get behind us uh this month. Um while our greatest battle in this for this nation is not fought in Washington. It's really fought in the home. And uh and so you know, we speak to worldview issues, truth issues, but we believe that relationships are just as important. So we want to bring back truth and relationships as we say to a lost and lonely world. So that's the content of our podcasts, our our curriculum, our articles, uh all the different things that we do. Our ultimate goal is to see that uh parents are discipling their children as they sit in the house, as they walk, by the way, as they rise up, as they lie down, and uh that God will indeed bless the folks that listen to our program, not just the three to four generations, but to a thousand generations, because that's how he does it. That's uh and so we want to see this generational faith passed on. And uh so it's our our ministry, I don't think, is just uh a matter of producing curriculum, producing these podcasts, but it's also uh a desire and a prayer that God would bless our generations with multi-generational faith. So, friends, that's the that's the vision, that's the passion of our ministry. If you uh share that passion, you share that burden, if you share that that mission, please consider helping us out uh for the next year. So we we're laying this out for the month of July, just encouraging others to partner with our ministry uh this year. And you can learn more of that on generations.org slash give. So check it out at generations.org slash give. This is Kevin Swanson, Todd Strasser, Bill Roach, and Danny Craig inviting you back again next time as we continue to lay down a vision for the next generation. This has been a production of the Generations Media Network. For more information, go to generations.org slash media.