Bonus episode: Meditation

Iris guides the listener through a mindfulness and breathing exercise to explore various sensations throughout their body. 

This podcast is created by The Pleasure Society and sexologist Iris van Domselaar. Here's where else you can find us online. 

The Pleasure Society: Website / Instagram

Iris van Domselaar: Website

Music by Jord van Domselaar @jordvandomselaar

All episodes recorded at So PR in Amsterdam 

Transcript

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Hi and welcome to our bonus episode Beyond the Sexual Script recorded again from within the podcast studio of SoapR. In this episode, I would like to invite you to explore your own senses and the reaction to physical sensations. To do this, I created an exercise where we will combine a mindfulness exercise based on various meditation practices and an exercise to focus on sensation based on the sensate focus practice by the scientists Masters and Johnson. But before we start with the actual exercise, I will explain a little more about why touch and awareness of sensations is so important for pleasure. The skin is one of the most important sexual organs as it houses so many nerve endings that react to touch. Touching the skin will also stimulate the brain to release oxytocin, which you may have heard of. This hormone is also called the cuddling hormone. Oxytocin will enhance feelings of pleasure and connection. Touching the skin, therefore, is a powerful elicitor of sexual arousal. And as you may have heard, there are certain areas that are even more sensitive than others, apart from the genital area, which create the highest reactivity of sexual arousal. We call these erogenous zones. These are zones that when touched at the right time, in the right way, can also contribute to eliciting sexual arousal. Your sensitivity to the touching of these zones is very personal and will vary across each individual. So when a specific zone of the skin is touched in an arousing situation, it can gain a sexual meaning, a sort of conditioning. This way, specific erogenous zones will be specifically sensitive for each and every individual, based on their own experiences. Examples of erogenous zones are the mouth and the lips, the neck and the chest, or your inner thighs, for example. So now let's close the informative part of this episode and head to the actual exercise. But before we start, I'd like to ask you to create a space where you feel warm, safe, and will not be interrupted. You can find a comfortable place to sit or to lie down, and make sure your body is supported and relaxed. Now gently close your eyes and begin taking slow, deep breaths. You can inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. We're going to breathe in for seven seconds, hold the breath for four and exhale through your mouth in eight seconds. Now breathe in for seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, and hold the breath for four, three, two, one, and exhale for eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. Now take another slow breath, allowing your belly to rise and fall. If it helps, place your hands on your stomach to feel the movement of your breath. You can try and find a rhythm that feels comfortable for you and repeat this a few times. Remind yourself that you are here now, you are whole, and you are beautiful. Notice areas of tension in your body and allow these to soften. Notice areas of ease and let those expand. As you continue breathing, gently bring your attention to areas of your body that feel pleasurable or that feel sensitive to touch. You can think about erogenous zones or other areas outside the genital region that feel pleasant when touched, such as the ones I've mentioned before. Or perhaps you remember moments when certain areas were touched in ways that felt enjoyable or even arousing. Let your breathing return to a natural, comfortable rhythm. If it feels right, begin exploring your body. You can touch areas that feel sensitive to you. If you don't have a specific area in mind, you can start with a gentle touch or stroking on your inner arm or wrists, or any other familiar area using the opposite hand. Do you notice the touch on your skin? And what are you experiencing? You can ask yourself, what am I feeling? Maybe the skin feels soft, firm, smooth or textured. Pay attention to the responses of your body to the touch, like warmth, tingling, goosebumps, shivers, or subtle emotional reactions. There are no right or wrong sensations. Just observe what arises. You can continue at your own pace. This means you can stay with the areas you started with or slowly explore other sensitive areas. This could include areas you haven't noticed before, such as the side of your dorso, your neck or the tops of your thighs. Continue with gentle strokes or touching of your skin. You can also experiment with different kinds of touch. You can use only your fingertips, use flat hands or your wrists. You can touch with light strokes or gentle pressure. It's up to you to explore what feels nice and what doesn't. And remember, these touches are meant to feel pleasant, cozy, maybe surprising or even arousing. All sensations and responses are yours and yours alone. When you feel ready, stop touching and allow your arms and hands to relax. Take a moment to notice any changes in your body. Do you feel a shift in your mood? Did you experience any new sensations? Or maybe find new areas that you didn't know were sensitive for you. If it feels good, you can now open your eyes and give yourself some time to come back into the room. Thank yourself for taking the time to explore your body and creating a better understanding of what feels pleasurable for you. This exercise helps you to explore the potential pleasures of touch on your body. By slowing down and focusing on gentle sensations, you can discover new areas of sensitivity and experience pleasure beyond genital stimulation. You can repeat this exercise as is, but you can also choose to expand areas of exploration. Whatever feels good for you on your own terms.