Did She Just Say That?
Did She Just Say That is a podcast for real people navigating life, faith, friendship, parenting, loss, and healing. We talk about the good, the hard, and everything in between—because it’s okay to say the quiet parts out loud.
Did She Just Say That?
Clearing Out the Mental Clutter
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
This week we're talking about something most of us carry around without even realizing it-the clutter in our minds.
Not a "new year, new me" conversation.....but to clear out what doesn't belong anymore.
Old lies.
Repetitive thought.
Past labels that we've already outgrown but somehow still believe.
We talk about where these core lies come from, trauma, failures, rejection, grief, divorce and how they quietly shape the way we see ourselves and our lives.
At some point you have to ask yourself: am I a prisoner to my own mind?
In this episode we unpack:
- How to recognize the lies we've normalized
- Why decluttering your mind is necessary for growth
- How to work through the lies once you identify them
- The power of letting trusted people speak truth into your life
Because freedom starts when the lies lose their place in your head.
Also....Somehow Forrest Gump makes another appearance.
Pull up a chair and join the conversation…..you always have a seat at our table!
Love, Ash & Chess
Hey everybody, welcome to episode six of Did She Just Say That? Um we have more good stuff for you all. Um it's our second recording in March. March is um becoming um whatever the we've got a couple of interpretations of that. Um but yeah, we have um Justin today talking about what real quick, what do you what's your decluttering your mind. All right, decluttering your mind. So yeah. Um and again, we are on um all social medias, Facebook, um, why did I almost say LinkedIn? We're not on that. Definitely not. I have my mind on business, I guess. You can find Ashley on LinkedIn. Yeah, I'm on LinkedIn. Um Facebook, um, Instagram, TikTok. We're also on Spotify, Apple Podcast, um, YouTube as well. So yeah, check us out. Um, if you do want to see us, the way to do that's YouTube. The other are avenues for audio. So yeah, um excited. And again, I'm Ashley. And I'm Jessin. All right. Did I did I skip anything this time? I feel like no, you nailed it. Thanks. Just nailed it.
SPEAKER_03So what are we jumping into today? Well, this is the month about becoming and we're not trying to like reinvent ourselves. It's not new year, new me. That's important. Um, yeah, and if you do that, that's awesome. We're that's just we're not wired that way. Um, it's not about performing, just clearing out what doesn't belong anymore. You know, when you declutter your house, like we said, you don't up and move, you get rid of the things that no longer serve you or that don't belong there anymore.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_03And you just get rid of it.
SPEAKER_02Do you find yourself like trying to live more simple? Is that like kind of all the noise? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because when there's clutter, it's you know makes you feel like you're not in your home. Exactly.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I like that. So we're just um gonna dive in a little bit more about decluttering your minds. Before we get started on all that though, I feel like we jump in all the time so quick and so fast. How's your week been? So I guess I should say this first. It's Saturday, it's not Wednesday, yes. So it's a pretty record. Yeah, and but how's your week been?
SPEAKER_02You know, uh, when I look at the whole week in general, you know I'm a a typical optimist. I try to find the good. And of course there have been some moments this week. Um, but for overall, like I'm I feel myself finding more joy and gratitude, um, even on some hard days. I mean, I still I'm like, you know, get in the funk, but um overall I'm just trying to just like remember, you know, maybe point out in the week three good things that happened, or um, so overall it's been a good week. Um, my job kind of does this, and you know, um, I don't have the fame like the outside stuff or in inside, I guess. Like I don't have the kids in the um family and all that. So my world really is work, friendships, and family. Yeah. And so just um it's been good. You could see your nephew in a playlist nine. I did I did. Kai did awesome. Shout out to Kai and uh the legally blonde crew at uh Silver Creek High School. It was great. He was dewy. A lot of the yeah the Venon Snap. Oh yeah, the Venusnap. It was actually the whole act up on the Venin Snap. It was fantastic. Oh, I'm so sad you couldn't record it. I know, I know, but um it's gonna be happening for a couple more days. So I'm just saying if you wanted to go, I mean it's an option. Okay. I thought that we're gonna talk about this. This is great. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. What about you? How was your week? It was w it was wild. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Um tell me more.
SPEAKER_01Say more. Say more.
SPEAKER_03This past week was probably one of the hardest weeks I've had in parenting. Um, but very beautiful too. Yeah. Yeah. Yesterday was gorgeous. I don't know, like again, this is Saturday, so yesterday was Friday. And 80 degrees. It was crazy. I didn't even realize how warm it was until I went for a walk in a sweatshirt and leggings and found myself sweating. Yeah, I wasn't bad about it. Um, yeah, it's just been a lot of tugging and I don't know, crazy, but absolutely beautiful because I feel like I've learned so much and different seasons are coming. I feel them. Um, and I love that. Yeah. Ready for the season to be over.
SPEAKER_01Um, but also my kids spoke some truth that um our family needed to hear.
SPEAKER_03And whether I think all of it is the truth, it's their truth, and they get to speak it. So that was really good. Yesterday was probably the best day that I've had in a long time. It was so it was just awesome. The weather helped, but that well, that it absolutely helped. Sunshine. Yeah, got to touch grass. Excited about this bringing so great. Yeah. And then like you saw this morning, Hank and I jumped up really early and went and chased the sunrise, and it was phenomenal.
SPEAKER_02I love that so much.
SPEAKER_03I love are you a sunrise or a sunset?
SPEAKER_02Um, whatever I have wake up in time for do you have one that's like a true love? I love a sunrise, but like weekends during the work week, I'm so focused on getting ready for work and I'm it's I miss it. Yeah. And then weekends I sleep in. So I don't see a ton of sunrises. Okay. I love them.
SPEAKER_03You would choose sunrise?
SPEAKER_02I would, but I mean a good sunset, that cotton candy sky, like that's probably one of my favorites too.
SPEAKER_03They're both beautiful. I can't choose. I love both of them. My mom was asking me this morning because she was like, Oh, what are you doing? I was like, Chasing sun, I just go chasing sun. She's like, What do you prefer? And I was like, uh I would never choose one over the other. I'll take either of them any any day. I mean, God just shows off both morning and night.
SPEAKER_02So yeah, I'm here for it. Uh same. Yeah. Same. Not that he shows off because he's humble, but you know, right, right. It's beautiful. It's free beauty. I love that you took pictures of it, and I love that I saw those because I feel like I just got to like experience it too. Thank you for that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you're welcome. We had the windows down and Hank had his little pup cup, and I love that. It was it was amazing. Yeah. So yeah, this week has been an we were have been working on this what for a week and a half now. We're winging this. Yeah. That was your surprise. Um, I have some notes here. I love that though. And it's real moral. Well, I kept trying to lay this out, and I have about 15 pages over there of starting it and restarting it. And I was like, God, what is it? Like, why can't I put this down on paper? Why I've never had a problem laying out one of our episodes. And this morning I took it with me and ended up at Beckley Station. No, that's not true. Flat Rock. I started at Beckley Station. When I say we chased it, we chased it. It was great. Legit. Um, we ended up at Flat Rock, and I sat down with my notebook and just kind of took some time and was praying. I was like, you know, this is making me anxious. Like, I've had this for over two weeks. Um, and he was like, put it down. Yeah, you and Ashley are gonna talk. You're gonna let these people see who you all are. I love that. Um and something you all don't know is since we've started doing the podcast, we haven't really got to hang out just as friends a lot.
SPEAKER_02We haven't.
SPEAKER_03And we got to do that twice in the last week and a half.
SPEAKER_02So great.
SPEAKER_03It was good for our souls.
SPEAKER_02Amy joined us. It was great. We had just um laughter and raw discussion and just we're able to not be so, you know, let's think of this. And what do you you know? It was just free conversation and which is what we're used to having. Exactly. Um, so I love that we have it's that balance.
SPEAKER_03We're finding it. Yeah, we are. We're finding it. Yeah. We went from, you know, one extreme to the other very quickly. We're like a mullet.
SPEAKER_02We're we're uh business in the front and party in the back. I don't know. That's perfect. Relationships like a mullet. Relationship is like a mullet.
SPEAKER_03I love that.
SPEAKER_02We need mullets about, we do. Oh, I have something that's in the in orders for us. Yeah. Uh stay tuned. We'll wear them at some point, I'm sure. Wear them. She wants to be matchy. We'll see if this works out. Yeah. Oh, okay. It's like that little family that all matches. You're my family chess. We're gonna match.
SPEAKER_03Okay, that's fine. I'll do it. I'm normally just a Christmas pajama matchy person, but twice year is fun. Well, that's once, and then this. Okay.
SPEAKER_00Okay, okay.
SPEAKER_03Stay tuned for that. All right. All right, you ready? Yeah. All right, so I love that. Let's do it. So when you hear me say declutter your mind, what is the first like what are like ping ping ping what's going on in your head?
SPEAKER_02Um, the noise that that just runs around, the stuff that brings me anxiety, um, the things that are not settling well that feel a little out of sorts. Yeah. And not so much the one-offs, but the repetitive that's where I'm like, we gotta what's the root of this? Um, I'm trying to get better about taking those thoughts and putting them down so that I can like come back to it and go, why? Like what is causing that? Um Yeah. That's what I think about when declutter.
SPEAKER_03That's good. Because that that that touches on a lot of the things that I have down on here. Um what about you? For me personally, I guess when I think about decluttering my mind, it's old lies that I have convinced are my truths and finding where did this come from? Who said this to me? Where did I pick this up? And then trying to do the declutter part of is this true or does this need to go?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, what is true? That's great. Gosh, that's that's powerful.
SPEAKER_03Yeah yeah. I think sometimes we make lies our truth because they're set like when you said the repetitive things, it's repetitive someone saying it to you. Or you're telling yourself it. Or you're telling yourself it it becomes your reality, whether it's I mean, whether it's true or not.
SPEAKER_02And I think those that are listening probably can, you know, may have not pinpointed it that way. Yeah. But have maybe some of that going on.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Um that that one of the things I have here is that some of us are carrying lies that were never our truth. Um or things that are in our past that we have overcome, but we're still allowing it to have space because we haven't forgiven ourselves. Or that's who we were before, and so we're holding on to it, even though we've done the work, we've made the change, it's still up there, and it's like it's time to let that go. That's not your truth anymore, it's not who you are.
SPEAKER_02And how many decisions and things have we made based upon those Absolutely Lies that we put ourselves or heard or Oh, I can't apply for that job, I'm not qualified because the last time it didn't work out. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03That's out of my reach. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_02Oh my gosh. All of that. Yeah. Lies and we're up here going, shoot your shot. Right? Like why not what's it and as a recruiter, I'm like, what I mean, for the job, like, what what's the worst?
SPEAKER_03You're gonna get an email saying When you and you grow with rejection.
SPEAKER_02Absolutely. You put yourself out there and you give the opportunity to sell yourself in a in a in a way um that you can find your truth in and and like here's what my skill set is. Yeah. I don't want to go too deep into it, but yeah. I love that that you say that. Like we tell ourselves that.
SPEAKER_03Right. Yeah. And it's just uh well, one of the th I just recently started reading a new book by Jenny Allen. I don't know if you know who she is, but the book is called The Lies That You Don't Know That You Believe.
SPEAKER_02Ginny Allen, okay.
SPEAKER_03She does if gathering. Okay, yes. I've heard if gathering, yeah, okay. So I always listen or always read her books. I just I love her the way she she's very direct and but in love. And I haven't finished the book yet, and I was like, I don't know whether to start even saying anything, but I was like, I have to because she was in the beginning of it, she's talking about how she has been set like she doing a lot of research for like the past three years for this book, and all of the lies that we tell ourselves, there are three core lies. Okay. And that now there are weeds that grow off of those roots, but there are three core lies.
SPEAKER_01I'm helpless, I'm unlovable, I'm worthless.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Gosh. So you're saying the laws usually register with one of those areas, typically.
SPEAKER_03It comes like if you feel like you're you're helpless, you're probably if there's a so there's something that you can control and you're going to maybe doom scroll instead of doing it because you feel so out of control. And of course the unlovable, you're always gonna be waiting for them to leave. You don't feel like you're ever enough. Um, you're maybe even stay in toxic toxicity, not just in romantic relationships, just in all. And the worthless, I'm worthless. Um you never let anyone help you because you don't want them to see how you're unable to do things. Um yeah. Um but it was just so eye-opening the way that she starts breaking it down. And they say you know, you can in different seasons you can fill all of these, of course. Sure. But your core rooted lie has already developed by the time you're twelve years old.
SPEAKER_02Which is wild to me because you know, I I think I told you I've said this before, like in therapy, the a lot of the things that you develop are in the eight, non-year-old, you know, even before then, but like that's when you start picking up on stuff and so by twelve.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Absolutely healthy or not.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. It is scary. And you carry that with you.
SPEAKER_03Well yeah, and you know, even if you're like, Well, I don't feel helpless there are weeds off of it that you carry and until you get to the r she was saying that like she figured hers out by during prayer with a friend. They were sharing things and she they kept asking questions where she went deeper and deeper and deeper until she found out what that core lie was for her. And, you know, of course all of the these things that we're trying to declutter to get out of our head, it came from somewhere. It may be your childhood, maybe failure, trauma, divorce, grief. Like there's so many different things that it come that it can set a new route, I guess. Um, but you have to take the time to sit down. Like when you declutter, it takes time, you know, you're like, oh, I'm spending the whole day. Intentional. It's very intentional. And so you have to sit down and like talk about like what is this lie or what is the thing that no longer the gets space in my head. Because you you're going to react, like the way you carry yourself, what you believe, what you'll expose yourself to, or how you'll put yourself out there. You could be missing out on so much because of what has been stuck in your mind.
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_03That you've allowed to become a truth, and it is a big old fat lie. Yeah. Do you have one that like rings loud that you would feel comfortable sharing?
SPEAKER_02Sorry, I know that's probably loud. No, I mean there's probably a couple. One that comes to my mind is I mean, I've told you this um in all relationships, whether it be romantic, friendship, family, whatever, when um things get hard or um they're heightened, or um I I get into my head of if there's no resolution, then it's going to die. It's gonna be it's that person's gonna walk out forever, or I'm going to leave physically, or I think I've told you about this, I struggle with the the bayment piece. Like you know, when we dealt with our little I don't want to say little mishap, but like that heightened and the first thing was I'm I'm leaving, but also are we ever gonna talk again? Like I thought it was completely done. And so those that's a lie. Like the things that are supposed to be in your life and that you make effort like that person, like you you probably never thought I don't know, maybe like even if we don't talk for a little bit, but like we'll talk at some point.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But I was like, it's probably done for good. So I already created that for you. It's a lie. Like we were going to and whether or not we decided to move forward or not, we were gonna have some sort of conversation. Now I told you like I I can't be losing you as a friend ever. And so establishing that but I've always been told like or always thought and told myself. And of course, without getting too deep, yeah, that came from childhood, what I saw, what I what I thought was gonna happen, or um so yeah, that's that's always been like a a lie that I've carried. But more often than not, things don't end, they change.
SPEAKER_03How do you feel like you get your mind back on track to your truth that that is a lie? And you can turn it back to like but here's my truth.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So I I think for I mean, for anyone, probably when it's when you're in the emotion and it's heightened at the moment, you know, give it some time. But when I've given it some time, I take the emotion out of it so much and it's not so much heightened anymore. I can then think clearly I'm a little more clearer and say like okay, this is not this is not done. Um A, is it reconcilable? Um and so I start become a little more asking the questions. Or at some point it could be should this be should this be gone or should I continue to to put the effort or whatever in? So I mean it's it's that's it is definitely something that I still work on. Um, but it never can be when I'm in the height and emotion part. How old do you feel like you were when you were able to name it? Hmm.
SPEAKER_01Um exact age as well.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'd say probably mid to late twenties. Okay. I've but look, here I am 38. I've still carried for 13 years. I mean, I've known about it, but I didn't know that But how old were you when you actually started working on it? You knew about it at in your twenty. I mean, within the last probably within the last couple of years.
SPEAKER_03Okay, so but it was your truth for more than half of your life. So it's not going to disappear and the last few years.
SPEAKER_02It still lingers, but um I don't want to say it's become less. It's still there.
SPEAKER_03Um, but it's how I does it live as rent free in your head, is it then? No, it is not So the repetition of knowing what is real and can Yep.
SPEAKER_01What about for you? for you.
SPEAKER_03Um and I was I'm trying to think of something different because there's kind of my my first one was I didn't know of course that it was abandonment. Losing my dad so young. You know I was five. Oh there you go messing with that mic sand again. I got hair in my ring here. Um losing my dad at five I mean when I say my mom was a single mom, she was a single mom. And it was her and my brother and I. Of course her sisters and my cousins were very involved in our lives and when I was young I had grandparents and some uncles and aunts. Um but there was just this huge hole that and I knew that, you know, it was because of me not having my dad and that kind of stuff. But it continued with his family as I got older and then it was like whoa wait a minute I'm so unlovable like because of the physical well I mean when you're when someone passes away and they're gone that is something that can't it's out of your control.
SPEAKER_02Absolutely.
SPEAKER_03When they're living in this controllable and that was something that took me way into adulthood to come to terms with to name it. And you know my mom was so good at always saying to me they're the ones missing out. Um and I'll never forget her saying that to me because I may not have believed it then but when I really started rooting getting down and doing the work to find that genuine love that you know I thought that I had lost in them that was always so loud. Yeah. They're the ones missing out baby. They're the ones they're missing out on so much. And so I was like wow mom you really cheered me you know she really cheered me on and I didn't at that age know what that meant or even accept I mean it I knew what she was saying but I'm like oh yeah of course of course you know because it was I still felt so unloved. Um but whenever you start doing the work and yeah of course I mean I'm 43 years old and there are times where I'm like okay hold on I've already decluttered that. Right. Um but it will creep back in and for me I'm a pen and paper girl. I always have been I have a different notebook for everything. I mean like I have a church notebook for sermons and then I have a home sermon notebook locations and like a journal and then just you know like this is for the podcast obviously and like but I have the um pen and paper through and through I can't help but now I'll put stuff in my notes on my phone but um I have to take it to paper and kind of write it out and say this is what I'm trying to believe. Now let me see what I've already what work I've already done or what the truth is in this or find out like why is this coming up? Um where is it coming from now? So it's just a lot of but it takes time and you have to have that dedicated time. If you truly want to declutter and change because the only thing that it's holding that it's holding you back. Yeah. And if you don't face it and deal with it you how do you push through? Right. Right. And of course sometimes it's you gotta go to therapy. Yep. Sometimes you need to reflect.
SPEAKER_02Sometimes we go to drinking sometimes we go to unhealthy things.
SPEAKER_03Yeah that's not gonna help you declutter that's just gonna help you suppress it's like real life.
SPEAKER_02Like I remember I mean I didn't deal with the divorce I went straight to like it was girl time it was drinking and partying and um I got to do the things I didn't get to do while I was you know whatever the laws. Yeah. But yeah sometimes it is and I do find myself gosh I wish I had a drink. I'm like that's not what I need like sit down like you said pen and paper it. Yeah and put some intention.
SPEAKER_03Yeah and well sometimes it's through music. Like there are days where I'm like I don't write girl I was burning our work quotes man.
SPEAKER_02We better have we have to start like figuring a way to get our quotes like bound somehow.
SPEAKER_03Yeah I ran yesterday and I have no idea nothing was chasing me. I love that. So we're amazing. Yeah it was great yep yep um we have to name them like and when you're like I said you have to name what it is and you have to name your truth and it's you're gonna have to do different things. It has to be reflective time it has to be repetitive it's not gonna happen overnight um reading books that is teaching you about whatever it is that the lie is and if you don't like to read listen to an audible. Yep pray therapy music whatever running running working you know whatever it is um I did something in it out so uncomfortable for the first time I don't ever work out in the mirror ever like don't look at myself in the mirror I'm working out don't go near the mirror I know I'll figure it out I know I made myself work out in the mirror last week oh now I got through it yeah it said I like it yeah will you continue doing it um I took the time to like speak some truth to myself while I was doing it and it was it it was good.
SPEAKER_02I don't know if I'll do it again but I'm gonna try I don't love looking at myself but that for me I'm like I want good form I don't want to hurt my knees like that's I've switched my mind to look at form and not my body. I wish like I'll figure out the form.
SPEAKER_03You will I mean yeah absolutely and if not I've been doing it wrong for a long time and I'm just gonna keep doing it because nothing's like hurt and we good. Nothing's breaking so we're good. That's um and sometimes it's just changing your words instead of life is happening to me. So life is happening for me. You know that reminds me of what that victim or victor oh mindset. Yes.
SPEAKER_02Because ha life is happening to me, you're being a victim. Yeah. But life is happening for me you're being a victor you are um it's a it's a switch. Yeah I struggle with the victim mindset because it's so very dear and close to me. I do not see that in you if I'm not me. Oh someone I know my life very close to me my life very much the victim. Um and I try so hard to make but you can't if you are set in your way and you like that victim and life's happening and boo hoo and like some people love and thrive in that. They don't say they'll never say that out loud but they love feeling that that someone's going to care or take care of it or um but that victor, like how you can overcome it to me it's more it's a you're giving yourself power. Um yes and you're making it happen, not it's happening to you.
SPEAKER_03Yes. Um I can't do this I can do hard things. That's one of my favorites anytime I can't do this. Oh, we do hard things. Yes and I've heard you say that before I love it. Yeah you were talking about the victim mentality and if if you feel like you're in a victim mentality and you're like oh I don't want I don't want to be here then you're gonna be able to declutter and you're gonna want to declutter. And that's gonna be part of it. But if you like it What are you gonna change? Yeah. This one's probably not for you. And that's okay. I mean that that is absolutely but it can be that can be a hard one.
SPEAKER_02If you want to change your mindset and go from victim to victor and you want someone to speak truth and love literally let me know. I'm all about accountability and I try so hard when things are happening in my world I'm not looking at that person going how can they change? I'm thinking what can I do? So call at your girl if you ever want to 'cause I love I love I would if I could like talk about one thing, I love that accountability and that that piece. I need to live that probably a little bit more. Um but I love that.
SPEAKER_03You're talking about accountability and have you ever taken time to audit your mind on what you've normalized? No.
SPEAKER_02Not really I mean to me I'm just shooting it and saying it and but like I can say all these things. Now am I living it? No am I wanting to live that yes and there's an intention behind it? Yeah. For sure. Not perfect. I know none of that but I would love to be more of a but also like I I know myself if I get too much in the audit I will want to audit so much and I will have to like no I'm just saying thing like don't audit like you just have to take little things at a time obviously but the things that we've normalized like oh this is normal it's fine it's not fine.
SPEAKER_03Mm-hmm I don't I remember doing that as a young adult from stuff with my dad's family. Yep. And then I remember doing it again once Gage was born. And it were and but it was all family related things that I was like this has been normal quotation normal my whole life or my adult life or my married life and this is not okay I try not to use the word normal because I'm still wondering what normal is I don't know like someone could give me a definition a true definition right of what normal looks like that'd be a great start I think two things come to mind when you say that two things one thing is I grew up in um two families that normalized drinking before 21 so you're 16 come on let's do it.
SPEAKER_02Now I'm won't go too far into that because I will say when I went to college I didn't I've been there done that wow yeah yeah so but is it okay? I mean some people are gonna be like absolutely not you're not 21 years old. Some people are going to be okay with it.
SPEAKER_03So the normalizing drugs and alcohol honestly on both sides of my family many people have struggled and dealt with it but when someone's told that it's never like a oh my gosh someone's it's like hmm what normal that's uh I kind of steer away from the word because I think everyone's normal is different. And that's that it should be yes we can't all be the same what works for you doesn't always work for me and vice versa but I had to be like these things for me and my family are not normal.
SPEAKER_02Yeah and I don't know can normal and standards be intertwined like that word I feel like absolutely so like I don't know when you were talking I was like I tend to this is a real vulnerable honest moment I tend to rank sins oh and I normalize that in my head but I make it around myself to where I can go oh that one's not as bad. A sins a sins a sin right yeah but I tend to I rank um I'm not gonna tell you all my rank is but I tend to rank them like oh that one's not as bad. Right. But it's a sin. Right but I'm normal but that's how I've Right it's terrible.
SPEAKER_03But but I think we do that with a lot of things not just then I can have four cookies instead of six cookies. And that's totally Girl Scout cookies. Girl have you bought any? No what's your favorite?
SPEAKER_02Mm thin mints good more for me and less for you I like mint Oreo blizzards but I don't like thin mints. You gotta freeze them. Eat them right out of the freezer. Girl it's the what is the tagal Samoas. Samoas that's my second I mean I had coffee today it was toasted coconut all day or day. Mmm okay I have refused to buy any this year. I haven't either look at us that was I look I'm like but so good for us because I mean good for us not doing it but it's a temptation I mean I'll probably do it tomorrow so let's not get too excited.
SPEAKER_03I'm doing I'll let you know next I got you I got you yeah I think that when we talk about this kind of stuff you have to put it in perspective to what your situation is obviously our normals aren't going to be the same but taking that audit and inventory is I mean that's where you have to start right absolutely because at some point you have to figure out when did I decide this about myself? When did I allow someone else to get me to a place where I think that this is okay. Who spoke into me whether on purpose or with great intention but it was received the wrong way where you started questioning who God made you to be and you start letting the lies of the world confine and change and dictate your life to a point where you're almost a prisoner to your mind.
SPEAKER_01That's deep yeah that's not what we were created no to do.
SPEAKER_03That's not why we're here on earth and if we can just get the lies of this world out of our head the joy the freedom and the love that will just radiate out yes and it pours over into someone else that may be a step behind you and you can be like come on sis I got you like we're I mean my basement's already decluttered so let's go to your house and hit your basement and then we'll go to my house and get my upstairs my shoes are a mess you know like my my home my work life balance is perfect but my social life I have none my romantic life is I feel used like okay I'm here you're there like let's do this together and you just get in there and you get dirty and you get free.
SPEAKER_02My allergies are flaring up right now Yeah we're gonna call it that okay we don't have any tissues down here I mean yes and you're you're in that you're in a space you've always been that space I feel like you've always been that kind of girl like that you're able to pull and and work with people and um it's a gift that you have it's a gift.
SPEAKER_03It truly is I just know if it's something that I've been through what it's felt like and I don't want anyone else to stay there. Yep. If it's something I'm going through like well let's do it together. Like everything's there together. It is yeah don't do it alone whatever you're going through do not do it. And that doesn't mean don't take the time to yourself to reflect. Don't take the time to yourself to get to some truths but find someone that speaks speaks love honest honestly and genuinely but also that they speak soft that when they're saying these truths to you that that it's not bringing on a new lie because it's coming across so hard and rigid and if you don't have someone like that in your life like get in our Facebook group comment on our YouTube or something and we want to build this commute community where we can do these things for each other and of course Ashley and I can't you know we're not saying we can do it. That's not what we mean. Yeah but we can definitely all come together around that around that imaginary table. Yep and but make sure you have someone that you are at least letting in that you can trust and they're gonna hurt you and you're gonna hurt them and that's okay. You're gonna get through it and it's gonna make you stronger. Yep. Um but it's always nice whenever you're trying to clean something out and somebody comes along and says hey I'm really good at decluttering let me jump in there and help you you need totes you need this and you need that and it just you know for those that aren't that's not their gift.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Then it's like oh okay this is the way I need to do it.
SPEAKER_02Everyone plays a part. Yeah. And I think too when we say building community, you know chestnut we I I'm I'm speaking out of turn, let me know. Go for it. But when I say we're building community, it's not how many people like we're not about we're not about quantity. We're not like how many followers how many people we can get to tune in and con connect with us. It is um community in the sense of like do you want to are you someone that maybe calling somebody up and making friends or whatever is just not your jam and that's okay but you still want to feel connected. It's about going to our socials, reaching out to us and just sharing life.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um because you never know if your story could benefit like someone in this group that hears us or is going through it. Yeah and just needs and let that grow like let that be something where you feel um because if I hear chess divorce I'm like we're in like I got you like because now our situations could be completely different but that word resonates. So building community in the sense of um just being open to loving people where they are. We're not all right. We're not we got flaws left and right but um yeah and bless you all for our little Girl Scout cookie tangent.
SPEAKER_03Like we just go off the but thank you all for still staying tuned in to our absolute our little yep um we'll end with this little this little nugget that I found. Okay. It says old wounds that we have healed from keep space still lying to us about who we are now until we take the time and figure out what that old wound is and cut off the space that it's been taking and replace it with freedom.
SPEAKER_02That was a lot of words that was a lot of words and I tried to like paraphrase so that was rough to read I need my glasses but I feel like I'm like Darth Wader like I feel like I'm like breathing in here.
SPEAKER_03But like it doesn't sound like that I don't think it feels so close. Yeah. Um just don't hold on to the old anymore.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03But be set free from it. Embrace what's ahead and live in today.
SPEAKER_02Live in today absolutely I mean I'm not the same person I was I don't feel like six months ago like yeah it's been a great journey and I'm really happy we're doing this podcast together. Yeah um the original reason why has changed I feel like um I don't remember the original reason. I think it was like hey girl it's gonna be fun and we're gonna spend time together and yeah but this has been oh yeah I I'm happy.
SPEAKER_03Oh for sure for sure yeah guys thank you for tuning in to another episode with us we are learning and you guys have been so great and supportive and we do really appreciate it the reach oh before we go I have to give a shout out Got a sweet message from um a lady that I used to go to church with, and she is a fellow West Virginia girl, but she lives here in Kentucky. That's where I met her. And she and her husband are in Florida right now taking care of parents. And girl, if you're working out, you better work. Because we go to the gym with her every week. Yeah. And so she tunes in while she's working out. So go girl. We see you. Two more reps.
SPEAKER_02Two more reps. Like I hope we can encourage, you know.
SPEAKER_03Five, four, three, two, one.
SPEAKER_00Oh, is that what we're done?
SPEAKER_03And always remember to have a seated at our table. Bye, guys. Bye.