Grinding Ain’t Glamorous Anymore

Are we chasing success… or just surviving exhaustion with cute coffee cups and packed calendars? ☕️ 🗓️ 

In this episode, we’re diving into the battle between hustle culture and the soft life. From glorifying being “booked and busy” to romanticizing rest, boundaries, peace, and slower living — we’re unpacking what these lifestyles actually look like in real life.

We talk about which lifestyle we naturally lean toward, the pros and cons of both, and whether it’s truly possible to balance ambition with peace without completely burning yourself out. 
Can you build the life you want without constantly being in survival mode? Or does the “soft life” only work if your bills are already paid?

This conversation gets honest, relatable, and probably a little too real. If you’ve ever felt guilty for resting, addicted to productivity, or stuck between wanting success and wanting peace… this episode is for you.

As always, join our table- there is a seat for you!  🪑 

-Ash & Chess 💛💛

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Hello. Welcome to Did She Just Say That? How are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm good. I'm Jessin. And I'm Ashley.

SPEAKER_02 0:11

And today we're talking about the hustle culture versus the soft lifestyle. I'm excited about this one.

SPEAKER_03 0:21

Are you?

SPEAKER_02 0:22

I am.

SPEAKER_03 0:23

Good.

SPEAKER_02 0:23

Um, I have no idea where we're going with it, but it'll lead us. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:28

I love I love this. I'm excited. Yeah. Um glad you joined us.

SPEAKER_02 0:36

Thank you. You can find us on all the things. Um, we would love for you to join us on in our little community. You can find us on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok. We're streaming on all the platforms. And if you want to watch, find us on YouTube. Yeah?

SPEAKER_01 0:57

Yeah. All right. It's getting so much easier. All right, girl.

SPEAKER_03 1:02

All right. So hustle culture versus the soft lifestyle. Let's start start out talking about what those things are. So hustle culture. That's the rise and grind. Right?

SPEAKER_02 1:17

So busy, so busy.

SPEAKER_03 1:18

Yeah, you know, like the 5 a.m. workouts and then getting up and running and going and having your day like jam-packed. Yes, jam-packed. Yeah. No rest. Rest is for the week. Side hustles times a hundred side hustles versus side hustles versus side hustles. I mean like all for days. Yeah. Yeah. Booked and busy. Always booked and busy. Yep. Mm-hmm. Pencil me in. Increased productivity equals increased work. Mindset potentially. Ensuring work emails at 1 a.m. I mean and then like you know, if you're a mom, the kids, the sports, the uh picking them from school, the taking home from school, the every activity, all the activities.

SPEAKER_02 2:04

Every birthday party.

SPEAKER_03 2:05

Yeah. Prepping for all of that, having the gifts ready for the birthday parties. All the things. All the things that come along with being a mom. Alright, so then soft life. Soft lifestyle. Peace over pressure. You know how I'm like slowing down my words. Yeah, I love it. Boundaries and rest. Listen to your body. I feel like we're like a soothing go to sleep. I know. This is my my voice that's gonna help you fall asleep later. Okay. Just not yet. Don't go to sleep yet. Yeah, not yet. Saying no, period. I can never get into that right. A little T. Yeah. Protect your energy and your peace. That's so important. Protect it. That sounds stressful. I'm just gonna take a nap. Like that's that mindset. Like that can wait till later. So which one of those what what aligns with you? What kind of speaks to you how do you when you hear both of those examples?

SPEAKER_02 3:05

Great question. Um I love the soft lifestyle. I have found myself getting caught up in the hustle and feeling like I need that. Um and almost like to a performance level and realizing that in that hustle it's because I didn't want to have to face the inner things. And if I just kept myself busy, if I just kept going, find a new activity, have find a new sport, get the kids involved in this and that, and run here, run that there, um, it kept me from having to do the inner work or even having to process or think about things that like if I just keep busy, I don't have to deal with that. Um there was that side of it, and then the performance side of it, like everyone around me is like they want they want to keep their calendar so busy, maybe that's the way it's supposed to be. Because when you get that soft lifestyle, you're talking about the inner peace. You have to have that inner peace to have a soft lifestyle. You because if not, you know, we talk about this all the time, but your nervous system is not going to allow you to have that peace. And even with the soft lifestyle, you can still get up at five o'clock in the morning and do the workouts but still take the nap, still eat healthy, but still enjoy ice cream, you know, like it's a balance, I think.

SPEAKER_03 4:51

Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:52

Um, but I do feel whenever you're either trying to perform or trying to avoid, you're gonna lean towards that hustle so hard. And I gotta get the next promotion. I've got to find the better job that has this and has that, um, to be able to keep up right the hustle. Yeah. Yeah. Um, but I definitely have migrated, I guess, towards that softer lifestyle. And I was, I don't know if it was you I was just telling the other day, my brother is here um visiting for a little bit, and I was like, I'm getting to a place where I don't know that I could ever live with anybody again. And I don't want to be like that. Right, you know, but it is very um eye-opening. Yeah. And because I'm not I mean, if I were still just going, going, going all the time, it wouldn't even praise me.

SPEAKER_03 6:00

You're in the peaceful sp space. And then it could be seen as disturbing the peace a little bit if you're not prepared for it or if you're kinda set in the way. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:10

How about you?

SPEAKER_03 6:12

I um tend to go towards the busy busy stay busy kind of thing. Up until my body tells me it's time to like jump into your soft yeah. So I I feel like I'm a blend of both. I don't do a good job of of blending both all the time.

SPEAKER_02 6:35

Right.

SPEAKER_03 6:36

But I see myself like people look at me sometimes and are like, You're not married, you have no kids. Like, how do you like what's so busy? And but I c I'm constantly it's my socialness, I think, too.

SPEAKER_01 6:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:50

That I enjoy being busy, but I do find myself now staying home a little more, considering getting a puppy. I don't know. I've always been told I'd be a terrible dog bomb because I'm never home and they're not wrong.

SPEAKER_00 7:05

Right.

SPEAKER_03 7:05

But also I'm finding peace and joy, and maybe this is through the whole phase of what I'm going through right now, just trying to like chill a little bit and that kind of thing. But I think we've talked about this in a former uh episode that I found like performance to me was ac you know, accolades and um success and all the things, but realizing that my body your body suffers sometimes when you go too hard. And so yeah. Were you raised? So the what so how were you were you raised? Were you raised in one or the other, blend of both? I feel like it was really blended. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:46

Um very much so. And when I'm for me, the softer lifestyle doesn't mean that you're just you stay home all the time and you don't do anything or and to some people it's like well your life is still really busy. It can still be sure busy. So and it's different for some for everybody. Right. And some people they thrive in that hustle and then they need to take a break and then they get right back in it, and that's what works for them. So don't I mean I don't want to come across like this is better than that. Right.

SPEAKER_03 8:21

Yeah. And I and I think two people can hear those two lifestyles and and hear different things too. For sure.

SPEAKER_02 8:28

Absolutely. And so but sorry, back to your question. Sorry, no, um, I feel like there was a good balance. My mom, we were raised with a single mom. Um we we did a lot of things, but she still made home fun to where we didn't have to be going and do I mean, but so I think there was a good balance there.

SPEAKER_00 8:53

Yeah. Um, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 8:56

I've never really thought about that before. But yeah, I feel like what about you?

SPEAKER_03 9:01

Soft, like more so than anything. I feel like I always talk about this, like living in the country was more of slow life, a little more things weren't rushed, you know, people were a little bit late and it didn't matter, and it was just like a lot more of enjoying the people that you're there. Like when you had gatherings, it's like enjoy the people. I now feel like as an adult and living in the city and living, you know, going make over planning and then having to go, ha ba, and like yeah, you know, so I would say like definitely this the soft, uh it was more I remember going out back after school and just sitting there and like listening to the crickets at night and drinking the sweet tea and you know, going to and chucking some corn and like stuff like that. So bonfires. Yeah, bonfires. So to me, like I think that's why I enjoy going home so much is because I get to live that little bit and I get to escape from. Yeah. Which you're a recharge. I'm a recharge, absolutely. So yeah, that's definitely definitely how my childhood was. Um yeah. And burnout. Kind of hear about that a little bit more now. I think that with the hustle lifestyle comes there's pros and cons to both, but the burnout can be real. And when for some reason when I hear burnout, I think about sports.

SPEAKER_01 10:31

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:32

Yeah. Yeah, you too? Yeah, oh for sure. I kept hearing as a kid like when you start something so young, you're gonna get burnt out and they won't want to play that in college or what have you, you know, and as they get older. And I do think that when you're kind of pushed and you know, if you have other influences with that, definitely burnout can happen. Yeah. But yeah, I think that it sometimes it comes to your body literally yelling at you. Yes. To go, I can't keep up with this or I'm going to be or I'm going to suffer from it. Yeah. And other people are gonna suffer from it. So yeah, do you burnout same thing for you? Like that's kind of what you'd hear when you think about it.

SPEAKER_02 11:13

I mean, and now of course it's a little bit different, but yeah, younger for sure. Like, you know, and I always for like example with that with my kids, I always tell them, have one sport per season. So you don't get burnout because when the switch, yeah, when the switch happens, then you're gonna focus on that. It's gonna keep you moving, you're getting involved, you have the discipline for it, but it's not well, when I'm not playing basketball, then I'm practicing basketball all the time, around the clock, blah, blah, blah. And you get burnout on it. And I'm their dad nor I, either one, push too hard on them with that kind of stuff. Like we support it, but it's not like you have to get all the trainings and that kind of unless that's what they want, but still with boundaries. So the burnout doesn't happen in that way. But now I feel like it's more I have a a really good friend and that always had a very fast-paced life, always going, going, going, going, going, going, couldn't, could not keep and now I'm like, have you left your house this week? Like it's changed. Yes, a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 12:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:20

But they made their home. And when we were talking about it, she was like, We pay all this money for our homes, and then we never want to be in 'em. Right. Like she has made her home her happy place. That's awesome. And she loves she sits outside and drinks her coffee. She, you know, has her dogs that are playing and she people come up and but she has made her home not just her safe place, but her happy place. And so it's so and her when she talks, it's calmer, it's not as fast. And I'm like, wow, the change is so but uh it took work.

SPEAKER_03 13:03

Was that I was saying was um intentional she wanted to slow down, or did was she just getting like at as we get older?

SPEAKER_02 13:11

I think it was the burnout and reevaluating. She was like, I was even running with people that I didn't align with to keep my calendar busy. And I think some situations happened that she was like, What am I doing?

SPEAKER_03 13:29

Why am I her calendar was full, but her heart wasn't full.

SPEAKER_02 13:33

Exactly. Yes. And her heart is the exact opposite now. Her calendar is exactly how she wants it, and her heart is so full.

SPEAKER_03 13:42

Yeah, it's really yeah. I had a little um room in my house beforehand, and it was an extra bedroom, so turned it into like a meditation slash prayer room. And so I had like pictures of like deceased family in there, and like I had this really pretty um what do you call it? Like little not a mural, but like a fabric, you know, that we had beforehand, and it was very calming, and I had like just um like candles and zen. It was a very zen room. Calm. Yeah, and I would notice that I would need to go in that room at times and just escape. So it is nice when you create that in your home as well. A place for you to escape, even though your family is going to be going in different directions, you still need to refill your cup and find that space too.

SPEAKER_02 14:33

And it shouldn't have to be, I mean, yeah, going on a walk or getting out in nature or whatever it is, going to the gym. Um, that's fun too. But being able to be in your home and having that place that can help you regulate.

SPEAKER_01 14:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:48

I mean, you're you're literally living to have the home. You're you're working to have this home. Right.

SPEAKER_03 14:56

Yeah. Yes. So pros and cons of both lifestyles. Pros of the hustle lifestyle.

SPEAKER_02 15:05

People talk about leveling up and oh, you're gonna love you're gonna meet all the people and have the social calendar and the followers and the all the things.

SPEAKER_03 15:13

Yeah. Yep. Builds discipline and at times financial freedom. So if you do have multiple, you have h side hustles and you have multiple income revenue or revenue coming in into multiple places. But yeah, that's I mean, those are responsibilities. So but if you have too much going on, some of those things can suffer. So talking about the cons the cons of that. And think other things can suffer, your health can suffer. I mean, thinking about like blood pressure, and if you're in a hostile lifestyle and you don't have time to food prep and take time, you're eating probably not good stuff and feeding your body things that are quick and easy, and then add to want wanting more, or you don't feel like you're doing enough, like this you this goal that you're trying to get to, always wanting to to be and do more and and that kind of thing. Anxiety and burnout are the cons. Or the soft lifestyles, the pro pros establishing boundaries mentioned that earlier. Peace mentally and joy. I think of stopping and smelling the roses. You're just and that's where I find I'll realize when I'm in a soft space like that, my gratitude is over. I I now I wal walked yesterday, took the trash out from my apartment and and walked out to the trash. And I remember when I looked up and the sun was starting to set and I was like, God, thank you so much for this beautiful day. And I was just the gratitude was so funny.

SPEAKER_02 16:52

Your head wasn't in your phone as you're taking out the trash, walking the dog and yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:57

It was just uh I had trash in one hand and I was walking and I was just looking around going like this is this is this is great. I'm in a good space.

SPEAKER_02 17:07

When when you were talking about the pros and cons of the um hustle culture, it reminded me I will never for I don't I'm sure everyone has heard this, but your like your life, you have all of these different balls, is what they so you have glass balls and plastic balls, right? Your glass balls are the ones that you you have if they fall, like they shatter, yeah. Your family, your job, you know, whatever they may be for you. And so you're always juggling. Yeah. And the plastic balls, you're like, yep, let it fall, let it fall, let it fall. And I feel like that's how it is in that hustle culture. Like you have to choose which ones are my like, I gotta keep these afloat. And they may just be barely on the table.

SPEAKER_03 17:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:56

But they're still on the table.

SPEAKER_03 17:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:58

But those plastic balls are falling all around. And when it's that softer lifestyle, it's like, I don't have any plastic balls. Right.

SPEAKER_03 18:06

You know, you don't have room for that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:08

Yeah. And your the glass balls that you have, they're nurtured, they're cared for, they're they're not hanging on to the table. And it's just Yeah. The and it there's so much to that your relationships are deeper.

unknown 18:27

Intentional.

SPEAKER_02 18:28

Your gratitude is higher. Yeah. You see things that you miss whenever you're hustling, hustling, hustling. Um and there's just so much yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:43

That it just looks so different. And whatever it is that you choose. Right. Yeah. So it's a really that's a great story. It's a good comparison. And yeah, it's really good. I like that. I like it a lot. I like it a lot. I like that a lot. But the and the soft um lifestyle, the cons. Um sliding into complacency at times and losing motivation at times, like if you're just overly chillin' zen and that kind of thing. Or if you care what people think, you know, people can see you as a certain way. Either direction.

SPEAKER_02 19:21

So true.

SPEAKER_03 19:22

But and then romanticizing avoidance and being just avoiding things because I don't deserve my t my peace. Yeah. And maybe missing out on adventure and some things too. So yeah. Rest guilt. You think that's a that's a thing? Absolutely. Especially I feel like I hear this from moms, rest guilt. Like when you there's always something to be done, whether you're in the moment and you're putting fires out. Or if you're not doing that, then you're planning ahead. Yes. There's n really not a lot of room for.

SPEAKER_02 19:58

But I do think when you do rest, you're a better better person for people, better mom, better You have seen this firsthand, and honestly, you've had to unfortunately get the the some of the brunt of it. But so we norm we have two days that we normally record our podcast. And when my kids go to their dads, that's the hardest. That is the days where I'm like, Ash, I I know we're supposed to do this today. I don't have it in me.

SPEAKER_03 20:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:33

Because I am burnt out. And I'm like, there's no way that I can go down there and give anything that is gonna come out good right now. Like I have to know that. I have to rest.

SPEAKER_03 20:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:49

And I'm like, I know, I mean, thankfully, we have worked it out to where we know how to do it and we we can work ahead, blah, blah, blah. But whenever that day comes, it's almost like I feel myself getting that anxiety, like, do I have it in me or do I need to rest because this week was hard? Or we went so like we had so I mean right now with them and their activities, pretty much Friday is the only day that we have open.

SPEAKER_01 21:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:24

And Sunday. But it is go, go, go, go, go.

SPEAKER_03 21:29

Right.

SPEAKER_02 21:30

And sometimes I feel guilty because I'm like, I don't have the kids. This is when we need to do it, but I also know that I'm burnt out and I need to rest. And it can you just it can definitely you can definitely have guilt and needing to slow down sometimes.

SPEAKER_03 21:52

Yeah. But also, and I I mean I pr I probably haven't said this like verbally out loud, but I've thought it. If this ever this podcast thing ever becomes too much or it gets in the way of friendship or anything, it's never worth the cost of those things.

SPEAKER_02 22:09

So I hope that you feel oh of course if we ever get to a place where it's not bringing us joy you know we know. Right.

SPEAKER_03 22:16

But yeah yeah. But also like on the days you need to rest, like I'm never gonna get upset about that.

SPEAKER_02 22:21

You know you haven't yet?

SPEAKER_03 22:22

No. Sometimes I go I do too. Like I'm glad you said that because I need to too like it's it's been so no I'm glad that we have those conversations. And we have a plan but we always know that that plan can get shaken a little bit and we at least once a month to get shaken in some way. We figure it out.

SPEAKER_02 22:42

But there's still the guilt in needing to rest. Yeah um it depends on the situation I think I think it's situational if with the rest.

SPEAKER_03 22:53

Well I'm the same way if I'm not eating like then I am not pleasant to be around. So it's almost like I know I have to be guys like to be fed and s I like to sleep. Don't let me get hungry. No hangry Ashley No Hangry Ashley she's not cute. Um but yeah you know I get that there are times when you're like I have to rest. Yeah and that's okay. That's okay for someone that's listening to this. It's okay to rest. And there are times even with the kids it's like hey guys you gotta give me ten. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 23:28

Mom, mom mom mama mommy mom bruh bruh bruh mom bruh That's funny My mom used to always say I'm gonna change my name to pleep and dare you to say it or you have to pay me a dollar every time you say my name That's funny.

SPEAKER_03 23:48

Christine I love it What does your social media showcase your friends your circle you see a blend do you see one more than the other what? Burnout or or culture like the burnout culture or do you see more of your circle and your friends like do you see our friends posting I'm going to Sedona for a retreat and you know having yoga time or do you see the person posting every move I'm going to the grocery I'm home I'm going here I'm going to the gym.

SPEAKER_02 24:32

I feel like there's a blend. I'm a I'm horrible at scrolling social media though. You know that yeah if it's not if I open the app and it's not the first one or two things that I don't know what you're doing. I don't have a clue.

SPEAKER_03 24:47

You answer my tick you see my TikTok videos that's what's important. Yeah and that's because it comes in a message. Good morning sugar breeches they make me so happy me too I can't I feel like I can get out of bed without seeing one now.

SPEAKER_00 25:01

No yeah they're amazing.

SPEAKER_02 25:04

Keep them don't worry I'm no quitter yeah yeah I feel like there's a good blend of both and like just talking about this there are certain people that come to mind on both aspects of it and some that very much I live in the hustle culture but they have to escape to get that break. Um and but they have learned how to instill like the peace in their home even having to live in a hustle culture because of their careers and stuff like that. Um but I think there's a good blend in my in my circle um as far as social media goes if you're not if you ain't first you're last because I ain't seen right I ain't seen it.

SPEAKER_03 25:48

I think I I mean yeah definitely blend. I've got all over the board. And a lot of my I've got tons of volleyball people and home people and Louvel people and just a blend of people that I've met throughout work or whatever part of life in general. But definitely see a mix of of both. Um and and it's nice to see sometimes it's a reminder like I see people doing things. You know, we talk about the comparison sometimes we see people that are like you know they're posting all these things and what have you but also seeing people do something for themselves and going, ooh, I need to do something for myself. So sometimes it's a good little reminder to like make time and I think half the battle is probably accepting where you are in those things and knowing what you need.

SPEAKER_01 26:39

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 26:40

And letting go of what that is. I I do understand I keep talking about moms. I'm not even a mom and talk about it a lot, but I do know that there's a responsibility that you're always gonna have. Yeah. You know the goal is to keep keep them alive. You know keep them fed. Keep them safe. Exactly keep them alive. And and so like that's always going to be a priority but you know I I think back to COVID sometimes and I was a r like red hot like I remember happy hours on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and Thursdays. Oh Monday can't forget about that. And then sleeping in and asking myself did I put the other on did I brush my teeth and did I brush my hair that's I can't imagine being a parent in that time frame.

SPEAKER_02 27:27

I was a teacher. Oh kindergarten first second and seventh grade OMG. Never in my life did I want to be a teacher that was never on my little paper.

SPEAKER_03 27:37

Oh did you have to do those little meetings and then hopping on and honey yeah yeah we don't have to relive that I can see your body you're you're you're messing up my nervous yeah I've seen that something's happening over there.

SPEAKER_02 27:52

That was yeah hard times oh my goodness it was so I think I told the story on here of me messing up with one of my kiddos. They missed their little lunch thing that they got to dress up for and was completely just devastated and wrecked me. I'm the one that had the time wrong. Yeah you know and they missed their little lunch bunch and they were all dressed up and so we ended up you know we pivoted and it worked out but I was like no one signed up for that.

SPEAKER_03 28:26

I also told myself if I heard the word pivot during COVID one more time I was gonna throat punch somebody. That word was overused it was it was it was overused but yes and what was the obsession with toilet paper? Oh my god how did we have a shortage? I don't know. But now I'm seeing like someone there there was like a TikTok and it showed someone taking a paper towel roll and cutting it half and being like this is how you save money and so you're using toilet you're using paper towel instead of toilet paper. First of all yuck and ouch. And you can't put that in the toilet either anyway. But this is the times we're in gas what was uh your gauge was gonna go and get a moped what we talk like like legit because gas is crazy expensive.

SPEAKER_02 29:10

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 29:11

I feel like we're that's our new toilet paper is gas. Gas yeah pretty much ish ish in its own way.

unknown 29:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:19

I got really off topic sorry sorry no that was no we rambled.

SPEAKER_03 29:25

Do you what what and who suffers during either of those does anyone suffer in the soft phase?

SPEAKER_02 29:37

Maybe those they I mean there could be, yeah, because if you're if you came from like that hustle culture and you've slowed down maybe that you're not giving as much of your time to some people. That's fair. Um but I feel like if it's the people that you want like the is in your circle then they're probably getting a better version of you.

SPEAKER_03 30:02

You're making time for the people that you want to make time for.

SPEAKER_02 30:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:05

But it just when I hear the I mean I feel like the soft outweigh like when you think about it in the long run over long term. Like a soft lifestyle does seem to a little more appealing. Appealing thank you to the word out of my mouth. It just does and I I know I'm also I'm very much so a better version of myself when I'm doing all the things and slowing down and I said earlier stopping saw in the roses it's just it's it's definitely I'm definitely more intentional. I feel like that word has been such a word lately for the last last episode, this one you know intentionality. Intentionality yeah it's a great I've underestimated that word I feel like it's such a powerful it is whenever you put it in like try to put it into your life.

unknown 31:04

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 31:05

Because when you're intentional I don't know there's just there's something different about everything you bring to the table.

SPEAKER_03 31:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:14

Your time, your energy, your Do you follow Bobby Larry on social media?

SPEAKER_03 31:21

I don't think he's like he Yes I do. But he's not I know how to itch.

SPEAKER_02 31:26

But he's not like top of my You need uh to his post or I mean yeah they're he's a great storyteller first of all but they're funny but he said and it's like oh my gosh how did you like it's they're very you need to follow him. You need to I don't know if you can make it be one or two for you. Change change math I don't know how you do that but yes he's very intentional on what he posts and um I don't maybe you are I don't know if he is or not. Bobby Larry are you intentional on what you post because if you're not you're doing a great job of making it look like you are I think he is because he shares so he's very vulnerable about what he says and it's it's good and the things that they do for each other. I'm like him and pumpkin I don't get up and start their car and have a little love note in there and snacks and drinks. You know what yeah we might need to have them talk about how intentional they are I'm in for that make a note oh do you have a pen?

SPEAKER_03 32:32

Uh I got your look at this is why you have your notebook. Yeah I knew it.

SPEAKER_02 32:36

There's a reason.

SPEAKER_03 32:37

I love it. Can you have both lifestyles? I mean I think we just said yes. You can navigate back and forth gracefully through them or you can I think you can to an extent and you have to have great boundaries.

SPEAKER_02 33:00

Yes to be able to do that. Um you have to have great boundaries I mean pure I mean everything around because you've got to be able to say yeah you've got to be able to say no all of it would be what you would have to have great boundaries.

SPEAKER_03 33:14

Sure. Uh do you see the cold shells on me? I see them. Okay. We have we have blankets It is summer fish like it's summer time frame. So crazy I know but sorry we in the basement it's okay I had a note on here and I think this is just a really wonderful just thought idea build a life you don't have to escape from yes say it again build a life that you don't want to escape from and I think that the either lifestyle is not right or wrong.

SPEAKER_02 33:47

Right.

SPEAKER_03 33:50

Every person's different I think finding what's best for you and your family and your life and finding that balance and creating the boundaries and not apologizing for where you are that's that's that's important. Yeah. So hopefully someone has heard this message and maybe you're navigating the world of one or the other and you're finding yourself in the day exhausted and burnt out or you're looking maybe for more in life or you're looking for to become more adventurous and you know become a little maybe maybe make more plans or make yourself a little more busier but regardless just being intentional.

SPEAKER_02 34:32

Yeah about having the goal of building a life that you don't want to escape from that's like everything that we said if you heard nothing please just hear that because that's maybe maybe we'll tell you later.

SPEAKER_01 34:45

What is it they don't find out snaps and give you snaps on the snaps.

SPEAKER_02 34:50

Trying to figure out what that meant.

SPEAKER_03 34:51

Yeah. Well we now we know. Now we know I love that that's this is a big topic.

SPEAKER_02 34:57

That right there should be like number one goal for a lot of for uh up there. I shouldn't say number one but because there are layers to that. But yeah. Put that on the fridge.

SPEAKER_03 35:10

And I think it's okay like you don't have to pick or choose these lifestyles per se. No. But look at your current situation and go, what are the things that are giving me life energy happiness.

SPEAKER_02 35:25

What do you I not want to escape from in my life.

SPEAKER_03 35:27

Right. And then what's draining you or what's causing you angst or what's causing you to feel a certain way name them and find a way to bring everything full circle to the life that you don't want to escape from PhD today. PhD I love that thank you well you made it you brought it around full full circle for us so that was really good.

SPEAKER_01 36:01

Well remember that you always had a seat at our table I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 36:11

I don't know you like that? Are you okay with it?

SPEAKER_01 36:14

Yeah you okay with it?

unknown 36:16

Okay