High Maintenance. According to Who?

At dinner at one of the nicest restaurants in San Diego, a multimillionaire woman across the table asked me - what is high maintenance? And I told her ,High maintenance means other people are uncomfortable with your standards.

This episode is for the woman who has been called too much, too intense, and started to believe it. We are talk about the patterns that are begging to be interrupted. The situation ship that keeps you hooked on one more hit of dopamine. A relationship where you make his needs more important than yours. The version of you that has been contorting herself to fit a room that was never meant for her.

We are also talking about what happens when you stop. When you walk in so anchored in yourself that the room has no choice but to calibrate to you. That is not high maintenance. This is just you coming home to yourself.

Transcript

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The moments where the full, embodied, beautiful feminine, too much version of you slipped through and something shifted. Magic happened. No one told you what to do, but instead you entered that. Moment where you answered the calling to dance on the stage. This is the moment maybe like my client who talked about being Sebastian in the Little Mermaid and the play and just playing it so well that people remembered that. There's a video of her on YouTube. Not that went viral with millions of views. Instead, it was one of those home captured moments. I thought, how beautiful of you claiming your life and all of your fullness, not where you had to be quiet in the boardroom, not where you had to tone it down to blend in because another might. Roll her eyes or give you a look or whatever it might be from her wounded place. Instead, it's the moments where the full version of you gets to dance, gets to play, gets to be magnetic. I always had this inner voice. When I was 12 years old, I took myself to go make business cards at Postal Annex. I remember seeing signs in the neighborhood hung up where they had little flag tear aways with the phone numbers for babysitting, and I thought oh, I could do this better. I went to postal annex with my babysitting money that I already had, flipping through the three ring binder and finding cards that had the embossed teddy bear on them and hearts. Put my phone number on it. My name. I was booked for babysitting every single weekend. Parents loved me, kids loved me, and I was making magical money, where money is just magnetized to me.\ Making that money, and even so much that when I was 17, I was top in sales in the nation for the photography studio, Olan Mills. when I share that story, then you know oh, she's a hundred years old. Yes, I am. Making cold calls, you had to call people during dinner time. We want people that are home from work.

The call times are best from 4: 1:54

30p to 8:30p at night, which is also the time when they've had a long, exhaustive day. You're interrupting dinner with their family and they would tell you, oh, you're interrupting my dinner. Okay, great. Able to keep them on the phone anyways and close a sale. I was top in the nation for sales. When I was 17 years old. I had my name printed in their national magazine. Was so crazy because I was motivated by the money. They told me instead of X number of dollars an hour. If you make 10 sales per week, you'll be commissioned and you'll make X number of dollars per sale. I was making several hundred dollars a week instead of the low minimum wage at the time. I won't tell you what that was. I think I remember, but then you really will be like, this beautiful betch is 100 years old. Oh, I have a lot of stories. I've lived a lot of life experience and adventures. It's not about the age thing. It's more about, oh, instead of reading about this theory or me copying someone else's viral hook, I've lived it. I've done the thing. I've done it three times. Even the hard things that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Oh, I've experienced that a few times. It's about the moments that we live, if I can share my story and it helps shorten your learning curve, girl, I am all in on it. I will share all of the hurt stories all of the embarrassing ones, all of the fully embodied magical ones, all the inspiring ones, all of the things, if it helps shorten your learning curve and connects you to your remembering of who you are as an incredibly powerful woman, I'm all in. I'll share stories, embarrassing stories, all day long, the time when I was at Escort for a few years. We'll share that story for another time. The normal story I have is two years ago when I was living in Utah. Working in corporate America, driving to work feeling like this isn't the most aligned version of me. I'm not saying yes to the things I really wanna say yes to. Instead, I am playing the part the side character in someone else's story. I am helping someone else make multiple millions of dollars in their business. I'm sitting at the right hand of the CEO, helping him with his strategic meetings, having closed door meetings before he meets with his VPs and other people on his teams, and helping guide the strategy of a company. The CEO told me, I know I'm more efficient and I'm more effective because of you. Another day we were in a meeting and he was looking out the window contemplating, and he's in this beautiful office, the beautiful desk, and where I was sitting, I could see the view of the mountains behind him, this expansive view. He was contemplating and he turns to me and says, I wonder how much further and faster I could have gone with my company if I would've met you 20 years ago when I first started it. That was that knife moment of that knife to the heart that just twisted. I thought, oh, there are so many women that I want to inspire. There's so many things that I wanna run and tell and speak with and share about to help people multiply their impact in this world. Two months later, I ended up leaving corporate America. I had sold half of my belongings in Utah, put the rest in a U-Haul and drove to San Diego to move into a place sight unseen. Leaving corporate America without a backup plan, knowing that I trust myself and the quantum tunneling, which I'll talk more about that, of not even seeing the obstacles. Instead, the embodiment and feel your deep desires. That I trust God. And if that word triggers you, then use something different. Fill it in with creator, universe. Source. Your power, whatever it might be. I'm not the one to smack you over the head and be dogmatic and say, you need to believe in what I believe. God has helped me and there are moments where I've relied more on doubt and I watched my world fall apart. There are moments when I've worked more with the frequency and the feeling and what I have, and it all worked out magically. There are moments where I said I wanted something out loud and energetically underneath there was something that didn't match and it delayed the thing coming to me, or it never came at all. It also created depression because I felt like there was this mis mismatch. Of I want the thing, why aren't I getting the thing? I had to heal my visibility wounds, my worth and self-sabotage wounds. I was also able to rewrite it in dating. In dating there are Moments where I'm able to receive, not because it's entitlement, I know as a woman my presence shifts you. I know as a manifesting generator that my presence as a woman. Ignites you. It ignites rooms. I know that it can ignite a man in our relationship and when a man chooses to be with a woman, or if you're in a woman and woman relationship, fill in the blanks for you. I'll speak to the dating style that I have, I know their life shifts because of me. I've dated men and they've more than 3 x'd their income while we were together. More than three x. I know as a woman I bring a lot and it shifts rooms. When we notice that in our dating and in our marriage, our relationships, we get to play in all of our power We stop choosing safety of playing small, putting them first, us second. We get this identity rewrite where we start to notice the patterns, am I making someone else's needs more important than mine? Am I minimizing what I really want? What if you lived fully embodied as the woman that you're meant to be? Think about it like Marilyn Monroe moments where she's an icon because she embodied all of her femininity. She got to explore her sexuality. There are pictures of her with that open mouth laugh where she's just laughing out loud, she's taking up space. You can feel it in the pictures and we get to learn as women how to connect with our sensuality. Our power and our intensity because those were never a problem. Those were other people's limitations. Those were other people's stories, other people's problems. It becomes a problem if we start cowtowing to that, if we start minimizing those things to bow down so that other people are comfortable. Last Friday we went on a date with another couple to one of the nicest restaurants in San Diego, and they're ordering everything from all the different courses and multiple in the center of the table, the sommelier coming over, we're drinking beautiful wine. The woman across from me what is high maintenance? Knowing that she has, she's a multi multimillionaire and she said, what is high maintenance? And I looked at her and I said, high maintenance is when other people are uncomfortable with your standards. Her boyfriend leaned over and said, what did you just say? I said, high maintenance means that other people are uncomfortable with your standards. There might be a flip side of it if I'm pushing my demands on someone else, I call that being demanding or inconsiderate of other people of, can we have high standards for ourselves? Can we remember that we are an icon and allow the feminine energy to move through us? Feminine energy receives. That's that receivership. So can we receive things without having to hunt or without controlling the outcome? There's a balance. The masculinity part of us as women too, where we get to hold the containers. Masculinity allows us to hold the money and tell the money where to go. It allows us to protect the money so that it's not slipping through our fingers. Instead, we're holding that container, the containment of it, the same way the masculine can hold us in a relationship. You get to dance with the duality of both the same way you get to dance with having fantastic moments in a day, and you get to have challenging moments. We get to hold the duality and the pressure of it all. It's the pressure that creates a diamond. Without that pressure, that strength of the diamond would not be there without the refiner's fire. All of the impurities in the metal would not melt away to be left with only gold. The refiners fire melts away all the impurities and we're left with gold. These are the moments where we recognize the patterns in our life and we start rewriting them. They're patterns in our life that are begging to be interrupted. If you are with that guy, the avoidant the Situationship. I think. What he actually tells her? Does he tell her just enough to keep her hopeful? Does he tell her just enough to keep her wanting more? Where are we acting like a meth addict of one more hit of dopamine with this guy that's not available, or a husband or a partner that's not available. Can we choose to say yes for the things that we truly desire. A situationship, our marriage, our partnership, how do we ask for the things that we really want? It becomes that clear ask of here's what the feminine version of me would like to receive. Because your sensuality, your power, your intensity were never a problem. It's someone else's response to it that could be the problem. If it's a problem for them, maybe we're in the wrong room, or we haven't clearly asked for what we need, if we're still not getting what we need, then the lessons are complete. There might be a situationship that taught us to choose ourself first, that taught us to listen to the red flags and not dismiss them. That taught us that we no longer need to contort ourselves. That could teach us that we don't need to give away too much of ourselves. Instead, we can choose to give where from our overflow, and it doesn't feel like taking, it doesn't feel like depleting When we really stand in our power as women, there isn't the asking, there isn't the demanding. Things magnetize towards us. Right now, the only reason it's not coming for you is because it's not an energetic match. If you look at it like two magnets, you put them on a table. When you push the same ends toward one another, you can push the magnet across the table. It will move away from it. When you flip it around and it's an energetic match, that magnet calls it in it's magnetized towards us and didn't. This game called life. We get to play with what are the things that we're magnetizing, choosing the frequency that we want to hold and noticing the things that I'm drawing in my life. In this moment, if it's chaos, how am I a match for chaos? If it's a guy that's emotionally, mistreating me, where am I being an emotional hurricane that's a match for that. When I start to treat myself incredibly well, the things that are matched for that will come in toward my life. Relationships in my life will only treat me the way that I treat myself. If I'm mistreating myself and I'm breaking my word with myself, or I'm not eating the things that make me feel good, or my house is not kept the way I like to keep a. Clean house or keep nice things, whatever it might be. If I am slipping in one area of my life and I'm not holding myself to the standard that I desire, then of forking course, the relationships and the people in my life aren't going to meet me there either. When I keep my house the way that I like to keep it, when I keep my car clean, and keep it beautiful when I take care of my money and I'm telling it where to go. I can look at my lease or I can look at a mortgage and say, I am so incredibly grateful that I get to pay this. Look at all of this money and I get to play with it and tell it where to go, that masculine containment of it, and I get to play with the energy. When I spent money yesterday, $535\ I can celebrate it and say, now that money can go out and have money babies and come back multiplied because God, the universe doesn't ever want me to go without. It's only an energetic match. If I think that I'm depleted, it shows up as depletion. If I think that I'm running out, it shows up as running out. Instead, when I look at it as excess and overflow, it's coming back to me. Go have money babies and come back. When we start to look at our patterns, recognize your patterns. This is the opportunity to interrupt patterns, to learn to walk into the room so that you are so incredibly anchored in the woman that you are that Marilyn Monroe presence, if that's what you've been desiring. Put on the red lipstick, the white dress, whatever version of you that might be. Maybe it's converse, whatever it is. Your presence, your embodiment, money, your magnetism, your power, all of it yours. The pattern interrupt. That's waiting to be interrupted so that you can remember all of that. You're so incredibly anchored in yourself, the rooms and life has no choice but to calibrate to you. Let this life calibrate to you. If you would like to continue to work together, is book a one-on-one call with me. I have coaching opportunities. You can find my podcast online and YouTube. That gives you three ways to connect with me. Thank you so much, gorgeous caio for now.