Relationship Or Situationship

Are you building something real-or just stuck in something undefined?  In this episode, we break down the often confusing line between a relationship,  If you've ever found yourself asking, "What are we?", this conversation is for you.

We explore the key signs that define a committed relationship versus a vague, inconsistent situationship.  From mixed signals and lack of clarity to emotional availability and intentional commitment, you'll learn how to identify where you truly stand.

This episode also dives into why people stay in situationships, how it impacts your self-worth, and what it actually looks like to choose clarity over confusion.  Whether you're dating, waiting, or questioning, this is your guide to understanding the difference- and deciding what you deserve.

Because real connections don't leave you guessing.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:09

Welcome to Relationship Coaching Group Podcast. Whether this is your first visit or you've been following us, don't forget to download this podcast to reference later, because here we keep it real with scenarios, tips, and suggestions, everything relationship-centered. Hello, I'm Roxanne, your relationship coach and host, along with my co-host, the professor. And together we've been coaching couples and singles for over 20 years, and now we're here to work with you. So get ready for today's podcast because we're going to be talking about relationship or situationship. But before we begin, let's welcome the professor. Hello, professor. Hello there.

SPEAKER_01 1:01

Wow. I love this topic. Yeah. This is one of those topics that is very big uh in our field where we get a lot of people who don't know where they stand. They don't know if it's a real relationship or a situationship. That's right. Lay it on me.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Okay. The question would be: how do I know if I'm in a relationship or if I'm in a situationship? You know, you talk every day, you spend time together, there's chemistry, but there's no label. So what is this? Situationships often feel like relationships, but without the clarity, security, or consistency. What what's your take on that, Professor?

SPEAKER_01 1:53

Wow. Well, there are several levels to this because there is the relationship that is disgu there's a situationship, I should say, that's disguised as a relationship where they see you on their terms. A lot of time you don't go out much. He or she is just coming over to your place, you get your booty thing going on, you know, kick boots, and then you know, you you say all what you need to say because it makes it feel right. They tell you they love you, and they leave. But it's not a relationship, it's a situationship. And there's a lot of that. But there is different levels to it. Right. And this is where people get seriously hurt.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

Got it. Now, some people may uh kind of what you're saying, feel that they're in a relationship, but not really.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:53

So let's define the difference.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

Far away.

SPEAKER_00 2:56

Okay. In a relationship, there is a clear mutual agreement about what you are. Both people understand expectations such as exclusivity, communication, future direction, and lastly, there's consistency and accountability. Now you want to look at situationship? The definition of what I gather.

SPEAKER_01 3:26

Well, a situationship, uh, that's pretty easy. One party wants the they want the intimacy of a relationship, but don't want the committed part. That's plain and simple. Okay. They they want the goodies, but they don't want the relationship part. So it's friendship with benefits, whatever you want to dress it up as. And it's not just men, women do it too. And believe it or not, there's a lot of women that do it today.

SPEAKER_00 3:56

Got it. Well, I have a low definition.

SPEAKER_01 4:00

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 4:00

I like yours. Situationship could be undefined, unclear, or we're just going with the flow. Or one of both people avoid labeling it.

SPEAKER_01 4:15

Yes, because there's a lot of people that don't want to put a label on a relationship because they're like, why? What what's the what's the point? What what does that what does that give you by putting a relationship on it? Well, first let's answer that. Why do we have to why do we need to put a label on it?

SPEAKER_00 4:33

Well, I think because you want to know where you stand.

SPEAKER_01 4:37

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

And here's another one about situationships. It feels emotionally involved, but lacks structure and commitment.

SPEAKER_01 4:46

Mm-hmm. Absolutely. You let's let's put two individuals, got a man and a woman. Right? Which today we're gonna use the man as a bad guy. She's emotionally invested.

SPEAKER_00 5:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 5:03

She's head over heels. This is the one for her. He's not. He likes hanging out with his friends, but he will go over and spend time with her, but they don't hardly go out together. That's a lot. There's a lot of relationships like that. Because he wants to still remain single, but have something tangible and easy to have on the side. On the side.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:28

So you have one party that's thinking, oh yeah, this is it. I I I'm gonna marry this guy. And he's saying, Well, no, I'm just gonna keep you going until we see where it goes. Uh, you know, it is what it is. Right. Kind of like what I said, going with the flow. Going with the flow. So uh that believe it or not, a lot of people don't understand that by giving a label, give you some form of commitment. Right. You've heard it from the other person saying, Yes, I want to be with you. I want to invest my time in you. This is a real thing. Now, other men and women that actually say it, they want to be with you and they they love you. Of course they are. There's some out there that give you all the hype, but they're not.

SPEAKER_00 6:18

Right. Well, Professor, I have some clarity tests situations. Okay, one, if someone asked me, this is what you would ask yourself, if someone asked me what we are, could I answer confidently? That's a question you you you asked yourself for the listeners to kind of see where you where your place is in in this relationship. So you if someone asked you what you are, could you answer confidently?

SPEAKER_01 6:52

That's a good question. Because most of them can't. Right. Most of them can't. You you have to we've done a podcast where you've got to know who you are. You've got to be confident in who you are. Correct. And again, I'm not talking about the baddies, I'm this, I'm that. We're not talking about them. We're talking about people who have some common sense. And if I've pissed off some people, who cares? The plain and simple thing is if you don't have confidence and self-worth in yourself, then you're never going to be able to answer that question. You've got to have you've got to have that. And you've got to be able to say you can't go with the feeling or oh, he's so cute, or she's so cute. There's more to life than that. Right. If it's just looks, they got a cute butt, nice face, big boobs, there's that all shrivels away. You know? Uh I'm gonna quote uh one of my favorites, Just Judy, beauty phase, but dummies forever. Hello.

SPEAKER_00 8:03

Yes. And another question that one can ask themselves is have we actually had a conversation about this, about where we're going, about what is this?

SPEAKER_01 8:17

Let me let me ask you this. Are people afraid to have that conversation? It could be. And why are they afraid? They don't want to hear the the truth. There you go. You said it. They don't want to hear the truth. Right. Because they're afraid of having the conversation because they're afraid to lose them.

SPEAKER_00 8:35

Right.

SPEAKER_01 8:35

If you lose them, they won't for you. Because if someone really wants to be with you, they'll have that conversation. And we're not talking about on day two, you're going, Oh, do you love me? Do you want to be with me? That's not what we're saying. The conversation should be after a few dates. So, hey, where is this going?

SPEAKER_00 8:54

Right.

SPEAKER_01 8:54

If if yeah, this is what are you looking for out of this here? Is this a friend thing? What are we? You gotta have that because you need to know if that person is in line with where you're thinking. And if they're not, then say, okay, shut the door, let them go.

SPEAKER_00 9:13

That's those are good points. Now I have a takeaway. Kind of what you were to sum up what you were saying, actually, if it hasn't been defined, it's not automatically a relationship, it's an assumption.

SPEAKER_01 9:30

Ooh, girl, you just said it right there. Yeah. And how many times do people make an assumption?

SPEAKER_00 9:38

Yes. You want to be clear. When you're when you wanna when you want to be in a relationship, you should be clear about it. Absolutely. You know, not assuming, well, um, how's your relationship going with John or Mary? Well, I think it's going okay. We've had, you know, we go out, we have a good time, and sometimes I don't see him for a while, but i it it it's going okay.

SPEAKER_01 10:06

That's a situation change.

SPEAKER_00 10:08

So yeah, if it can't be defined confidently, if you're not confident in what you have, then it's an you're assuming.

SPEAKER_01 10:21

And I'm and I'm going to to say it, and I don't care. When you give up the cookie, when you give it up so quickly, it makes you easy.

SPEAKER_00 10:36

And it makes you think that you're in a relationship because as you said, some mostly women's emotions are tied into the sex. Exactly. Um not so much on many guy parts. Yeah. No, it's true. It's true.

SPEAKER_01 10:55

Uh you you got to understand that, you know, as women, you you have to have some sort of self-respect for yourself. And if you're sleeping with somebody on the first night, then you have to be prepared for the consequences that this may not be a real thing. Right. If you're going into this, and and I'm if this is what you want, I'm not saying it's a terrible thing or whatever, what I'm saying is that you can't go into it thinking that afterwards he's in love with you or she's in love with you with you, whatever it is. It happened, you let it happen, so you have to be prepared for what the consequences is afterwards.

SPEAKER_00 11:33

Right. And and a lot of women again men and women. Right. But but again, a lot of women will take that intimate moment of sexual pleasure, and they'll ride, they ride, they'll ride that wave like a white horse. Yep. And until they find out that that didn't mean anything to the to the to the guy you you slept with. Nope. Now, I do have a some points. Consistency versus convenience. You want to hear some of those? Go for it. Okay. In a relationship, communication is reliable. That means that you're going to be talking with that person on a regular, not just floating conversations or floating calls. And then with again, with relationship, effort is steady, not mood-based. And I'm going to finish the last one. We'll we'll go discuss it. The third point being consistency versus convenience. In a relationship, you feel considered in their decisions. So all this is you're going to hear from them on a regular, not just floating calls once every once in a while, and getting excuses of why you haven't heard from them. And the effort is steady and it's not mood-based. It's not, oh, I think I want a little piece of that tonight.

SPEAKER_01 13:00

Right.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

Kind of what you were saying earlier. And uh hit what hid it and quitted. That's it. So, and then in a s in situationships, here's the here's the difference. Communication is off and on.

SPEAKER_01 13:16

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 13:18

Effort in increases when it suits them. Some what what we're saying when they're ready for a hot night.

SPEAKER_01 13:28

When he's bored or she's bored, you get the phone call.

SPEAKER_00 13:31

Mm-hmm. And then you often feel like an option, not a priority. So get these notes down.

SPEAKER_01 13:42

Yeah. And when and when we mean by consistency, we're not talking about, oh, um, they've got to call me 20 times a day. That's not what we're talking about. We're talking about that they're in communication with you, that they've called you every other day or maybe every day, whatever it is that it develops to, and it remains consistent. If it was only for a short while just to get you, because there's a lot where the cons consistency is there, right? But then they've got what they want, and the consistency starts dropping off. Yeah, I was gonna make that point. Yeah. So sorry, I stole your point there.

SPEAKER_00 14:23

No, no, no, no. That's we're on the same page.

SPEAKER_01 14:27

I know I do that a lot.

SPEAKER_00 14:28

For a change, huh?

SPEAKER_01 14:29

Yeah. But because trust me, guys, we don't always agree on stuff. Right. Um, but that's one of the big things is if there's time bet before you two are jumping in the bed, you get that time to look at the situation, take a step back and say, is this person interested in me or interested in getting me into bed?

SPEAKER_00 14:56

Good point. Now, what about emotional security check? You want to look at some of those points of emotional security check? Okay, in a relationship, you feel safe, you feel valued and reassured. And second point is you're not constantly questioning where you stand. Say that again. You feel safe. The first point is you feel safe, you feel valued and reassured. And the second point is you're not constantly questioning where you stand. You don't have to ask, uh, what what what it what is this? As a matter of fact, guys from my earlier days, I think things have changed now, but guys who are really interested in you or or girls or the young lady who's really interested in you, they will let you know. Because sometimes the guy is in in wondering, where do where do we stand? Uh is this gonna go any further? I want this, but I don't want to be too aggressive. So they're kind of waiting for the young lady to kind of define what it is.

SPEAKER_01 16:04

Yeah, but it's changed so much because men have also come to a point where they stop asking because they get tired of women rejecting them or treating them like they're nobody. Like a man will go up to a lady in the bar and say, Hey, uh, my name's so and so, please, you know.

SPEAKER_00 16:27

Or did you just do the hand thing?

SPEAKER_01 16:30

Yes, I did. Like that please, you know, and or um, you know, get away from me. When you start doing stuff like that, over the years, it has just turned men away. If you were just to be respectful and nice and say, hi, I'm I'm you know, my name's so-and-so, I'm I'm not looking to be with anyone this evening, I'm out with some friends, be nice about it. You don't have to be a jerk.

SPEAKER_00 16:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:59

And so it's good. There are a lot of women who complain how men don't approach them because men don't want to have to go through the rejection, the rudeness.

SPEAKER_00 17:10

Right, right. And if I might make a point with what you're saying, is you may be shutting off Mr. Wright. Exactly. You may not look what you're looking for, but what you're looking for hasn't been working.

SPEAKER_01 17:27

Yeah, there's an old saying, don't judge a book by its cover. And I'm gonna give you an example. A man goes to a dealership to buy a car. He's dressed in shorts, t-shirts, and flip-flops, and then you have a guy that shows up in a fancy car and a suit and everything, and he goes strapping in there. You got two individuals that you think could buy a car.

SPEAKER_00 17:54

Excuse me, Professor, you said the second guy came in with a fancy car. Yes. So why is he buying a car? Why is he at the car dealership if he has a fancy car? Really? He's looking to upgrade. Hello. I just I had that visual.

SPEAKER_01 18:09

I'm sorry. Go ahead. Yeah, maybe maybe one's a fancy car. I'll trade my car and I get a fancy car. Questioning my my fancy car. Um, so you got these two guys. Uh a good salesman will never discount the guy that's got the shorts on or the guy that's got the suit on because he has no idea until he starts talking to them and creating dialogue. Then he starts going, okay, the guy in the flip-flops and the t-shirt, he's wanting to buy a car. Right. The guy that's in the suit, he's just lookyloo. So women don't always look at a guy because he's not got what there's a uh a show, and you know it, it and it's the one where they pop the balloons. Oh yeah, oh yeah, I love that show. You can learn a lot on that show. Yes. And these women will reject men because of his belt, or because of his shoes. Absolutely ridiculous. Yeah, of how they're dressed. I don't I don't like the way you're dressed. That's insane. Yeah. You're gonna reject a man because of the belt he wears, or because of the shoes, or you don't like the color of his pants. Yeah. That's what we've become. That's why men don't approach women because women judge men with stupidness.

SPEAKER_00 19:36

Right. Right. And can I make a comment about that car thing? Yeah. He could have borrowed the car. Exactly. It can probably not even his. But right, don't judge what you see. Get to know someone. Absolutely. Get to get to know their heart, get to know their their mind space.

SPEAKER_01 19:57

I I'll I'll tell you a quick story. I had gone to a bar with a friend, and on my keychain, I had a Porsche. Keychain. Okay. And it was sitting there on the bar. These ladies came over and they were sitting next to us, and me and my friend were just talking. And the lady was sitting next to me, goes, Oh, you have a Porsche? Huh. Right away, I know this is not about me, it's about my car. Right. She didn't ask you, How are you doing? Right. Or you have a Porsche. That was it. Oh, you have a Porsche? And she went to touch my keys and I pulled my keys off to the side. Not ask me my name. Right. Not ask me who I am. What do you do? Nothing. The first thing out of her mouth was, Oh, you have a Porsche. This is what men have to deal with, the shallowness. This is why men and you know, men stop talking to women because they get tired of it.

SPEAKER_00 20:55

And it's more today that people are looking to see what you have versus versus who you are. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 21:03

Get to know the person because, and I'll give you a perfect example. They the other lady tried talking to my friend. Now, he's dressed in T-shirt and a short, and she's not really giving him much peace of mind because he he actually came out to have a drink with me.

SPEAKER_00 21:21

Right.

SPEAKER_01 21:21

We I called him at the last minute. I'm leaving the office, he's leaving work, and you know, neither one of us really cared about how we look because we weren't going to pick up anybody.

SPEAKER_00 21:31

Right.

SPEAKER_01 21:32

But she didn't even give him the time of day. Wow. And when we were leaving, they were getting a cab or whatever, because they left a little bit before us and they were out there waiting. I get in my car, it's not a Porsche. Mm-hmm. But my friend has a Lamborghini. Wow. And she starts heading over to his way, and he just waved goodbye and drove. There you go. She wouldn't even give him the time of day, but the moment she saw the car that he was getting in. The car. The car. But if she had taken the time to get to know him, he's worth money. Right. But that that's the problem, is that they judge a book by its cover. And yeah, and it's it happens so so much. So much. I mean, that TV show, you know, and I'm not knocking the TV show by any means. And I hope that, you know, people have long-lasting relationships from it. But some of the stuff, because I've even heard the director of the show, whatever, even criticize some of, you know, tell these women, come on, this is ridiculous.

SPEAKER_00 22:43

Right, because they're rejecting the contestant that comes through based on height, based on what they're wearing, based on that you you have a nose piercing.

SPEAKER_01 22:55

Do you understand that that you want all these women want a man that's making six figures, he's tall, he's this, he's that. And the percentage is so small. Right. It all these women are fighting for the same men. And most of them not getting any. And nothing. And then they want to complain there's no good men. No, they're good men. You just don't want the man because you don't like his belt or his shoes or his haircut.

SPEAKER_00 23:22

Yeah. Right. Now, getting to the emotional security checklist for such situationship, here we go. You feel uncertain, anxious, or overthinking. Like, well, maybe this might be this this might be long term. I don't call this overthinking. I call that wishful thinking.

SPEAKER_01 23:43

Right. This might be it. And that's the problem, is we we want something so bad that we will forgo everything else. Right. It's like for a woman, they go walk down the street and they see the handbag in that store, and you go, Oh my gosh, that's uh um what's a brand Louis Vuitton. Louis Vuitton. And they go, I gotta have it, I gotta have it. They will go in and they will buy that bag and not pay rent just because they want it. And that's the same thing with a guy. They will go after a guy because they want it. And you know nothing because you think he's gonna do something for you.

SPEAKER_00 24:25

Right, right. So feeling uncertain and anxious and overthinking, yeah. If you're uncertain about where the relationship is, if you're anxious about it, yeah, I wonder if he is he gonna call me tonight? Is are we gonna go out this weekend? It's all wishful thinking. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 24:42

You you if you have to think like that, then there's something wrong.

SPEAKER_00 24:47

Right. Now listen to the next one. You replay conversations and look for hidden meaning. Yeah. Again, the hidden Well, he he kissed me, we had sex a few times, and no complaints there.

SPEAKER_01 25:05

And he he told me he really liked me, and and you know, we woke up and had coffee together. Yeah, so maybe he wants to be with all these things that you you put the wishes in there to fill the void.

SPEAKER_00 25:22

Right. You look for the hidden meaning.

SPEAKER_01 25:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:25

There's some, you know, these things that are happening, maybe just maybe uh he he really wants me.

SPEAKER_01 25:34

And I wish that when I leave here and I open that door, there's gonna be a pot of gold outside.

SPEAKER_00 25:38

Right. And the last the last emotional security check that you should check yourself with it in a situation ship, ask me, you're afraid to ask direct questions. You're afraid to say, okay, w where is this going? Yeah. Again, as you said, I think earlier in um earlier in the podcast, they're afraid to hear the truth. They're afraid to hear, well, uh, that he might say or she might say, no, I don't think that this is going anywhere. You know, w d when you ask, where is this long term? Are we dating? Well, maybe, maybe not.

SPEAKER_01 26:25

Well, you know, first off, if you've met someone and let's say you just talk on the phone and you've not been out anywhere, but you've been talking on the phone, then you have to ask yourself, what is this? If all you've done is talk on the phone for two months, then you have to ask yourself, Well, what what is this? Right, and and have not seen each other in between. Nothing in between. You've just talked once a you know, a couple of times a week. You have to ask yourself, what is this? Right.

SPEAKER_00 26:52

When and if you have to ask, what that was Right. But if you have to ask, then and it's not clear, then it may be a situation ship.

SPEAKER_01 27:02

Because you can meet someone out and that type of thing could be maybe that person's married. Hmm. And they're trying to keep you on the down low.

SPEAKER_00 27:11

Well, well, that happens exactly. Now, future talk or lack of it. In a relationship, there are open conversations about the future. So you you you're gonna be talking about moving on the next level, as they say. And then in a situationship, future conversations are avoided, vague, or shut down. And you hear things like, let's not rush, or let's just enjoy the moment, or why put pressure on it?

SPEAKER_01 27:48

Oh, yeah, that's a good one. Let's not don't put pressure on me right now. Yeah, yeah. I've got a lot going on.

SPEAKER_00 27:55

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 27:55

Then if you have a lot going on while you're in a relationship, why are you trying to get in a relationship if you're you don't have your shit together?

SPEAKER_00 28:02

Right.

SPEAKER_01 28:03

Plain and simple.

SPEAKER_00 28:04

Or why isn't that the first thing you talk about? Listen, I have a you know, I have a really high pressure job and I don't have a lot of time to to date or to see you, but we can kind of see and catch up when we can. Why isn't that right up front? So you'll know you'll you'll know where you stand.

SPEAKER_01 28:24

Because that may be not what what you want, but a lot of women or men and women will settle for that because they want somebody so bad. Yes. Don't settle for that. You are worth more than that.

SPEAKER_00 28:39

Have confidence in yourself. Now, I do have reasons why people stay in situationships. You want to hear those? Far away. Okay. Listeners, are you are you taking notes? I I can hear it right now. Here we go. All right, the first, and I'm gonna say it again, these are reasons why people stay in situationships. Fear of losing the connection. Yep. Number two, hoping it will turn into more. Oh, yes. Number three, avoiding difficult conversations. And lastly, confusing chemistry without commitment. That's let's address the first one. Okay, fear of losing the connection.

SPEAKER_01 29:25

Oh I I I'm trying not to let this go on this podcast go on five hours. But I'm gonna tell you, so many men and women are afraid to let it go because they think they're in something. They're scared of losing that. They hold on to it because they believe they're in something.

SPEAKER_00 29:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:49

And you're not.

SPEAKER_00 29:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:50

You've got to learn to let go and think about yourself. Not saying being a selfish person, but think about your own self. Is this something you want to get into?

SPEAKER_00 30:01

Right. Because if you want more, if you are looking for a relationship and all these questions and situations come up of not hearing from them and not knowing where you stand, and you can't even talk about where we are because they may be upset or just give you some off-the-wall answer. If you want a relationship and it's not going the way you want it, what do you say, professor? Shut the door, let it go, close that door and move on.

SPEAKER_01 30:34

Take a walk. Your sanity and your peace of mind and your health means more to you. And that's what it should be. Give me the next one.

SPEAKER_00 30:43

Well, here's some questions. Oh, th for the reasons hoping it will turn into more. How many times have we heard that? You stay in it hoping that it turns into more.

SPEAKER_01 30:56

It is this wishful thing. They hardly call you. They come around only when they want something. And they only take you out at night, or if they take you out, they take you somewhere far away, not in their neighborhood. Wow. I had a client, she said, but he, you know, it's really nice we go out and we we we go out far for dinner. You know, sometimes I wonder why we have to go so far to a restaurant, but I think he wants to try something new. No, he don't want people to see you out with him because he's got something else going on. Again, maybe even married. Yeah. So you have to stop and not put it as, oh, he wanted to take this wonderful. You gotta wait a minute. Think. Think about it. Use your head.

SPEAKER_00 31:49

Stop thinking that you're in a relationship when you're not. Got it. Now, avo the next one is avoiding difficult conversations where you can't talk about again, you can't bring up where's this going? Are we going anywhere? Uh are we dating? What do we do?

SPEAKER_01 32:08

Well, uh I hate to cut you off, but I'm gonna do it. And I know you tell me if later I don't care. But here's the thing if you can't have the conversation, and what I mean by having a conversation, that means I'm not talking about where you being, why aren't you calling me that? No, I'm talking about having a legitimate conversation and calm conversation and saying, So, hey, you know, we've been going out now for two months. I just want to see, you know, where your head your head is at, you know, where do you see this going? Ask that question. Don't be afraid to ask it. And if you get a response back, well, you know, right now I'm just kind of busy, I don't have time, then you say, okay, great. Or if they blow up. Oh, yeah. Or if they freak out on you and like, why you gotta make this, this, this, then hello. Right. Think about it. Well, you don't jump in and start arguing. You go, oh, okay. Okay, I see where this is going.

SPEAKER_00 33:06

Yeah. Hello. And I see where it's not going. There you go. There's your sign. There's your sign. Confusing. What do you do? Close the door and take a walk. Take a walk. And the last one was confusing chemistry without commitment. That's that intimacy. Oh, we we have great chemistry. We we've finished each other's sentences, and we have a really good time in the bed. We're just we're made for each other. I can feel it. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_01 33:44

But no commitment. When someone tells you that nonsense, oh, we're connected, we're together, we look at we like the same cereal, we eat the same way, or you know, we fought the same way. No, come on. That that's all just fluff. And then they and then you don't hear that from them again for another week, two weeks.

SPEAKER_00 34:07

Now, granted, chemistry is important. Yes. But if you again chemistry. No, but again, if you're looking for a relationship, no, chem chemistry is important in relationships, but if you're looking for something long-term and it's just chemistry and no commitment, then that's your sign. Now, here's some questions that you can listeners that you can reflect on. The first question Am I feeling secure or confused most of the time?

SPEAKER_01 34:39

Say it again because I was a little fast. I want them to hear this. Say it.

SPEAKER_00 34:44

Am I feeling secure or confused most of the time?

SPEAKER_01 34:49

And how many times do we hear people say, I'm confused? I don't know where this is going. I I don't know what this is. If you have to say that, then you need to ask the difficult questions.

SPEAKER_00 35:04

And this these are some of the questions that you can ask, especially you can ask yourself. Here's another one. Is that person's actions matching what I need? Yep. And then here's a third. Am I accepting less because I don't want to lose them? Oh God, say that again. Am I accepting less because I don't want to lose them?

SPEAKER_01 35:28

And that is oh my gosh, that is one of those that happens all the time. They will settle for less because they think that they have something.

SPEAKER_00 35:40

Yeah, yeah. And I have a fourth. If n that you ask yourself, if nothing changed, would I be okay staying in this? So if nothing changed, they're not calling you as often as you'd like to, you're not seeing them as often as you'd like to. Am I okay with this? Am I okay being in a situationship?

SPEAKER_01 36:03

A lot of both men and women make excuses for that behavior. Oh, they're busy, or they have a lot going on. It's the same thing that somebody who's in a relationship with someone who's on drugs or an alcoholic, they make excuses for that person.

SPEAKER_00 36:21

Right. And and th this is saying, okay, not making excuses, Professor, but this is this kind of saying that I can be okay with being in a situation ship. So if someone asked me, uh, how are you and Bob doing? How are you and Sarah Jane doing? Oh, we're we're we're good. So is is this um is this your boyfriend? No, we're in a situation ship.

unknown 36:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 36:48

You're happy. Yeah, if you're happy with that, then that's okay.

SPEAKER_01 36:51

If that's what you want, yeah, you're okay with it. Because there's some men and women, and like this women that prefer that because they're not tied down to anything. They get what they want, man gets what he wants. Everybody's happy. Everybody's happy. Now But but that situationship has to be between two single individuals, because you have some that there's a situation shift in the marriage. They have a side piece. Oh well. And that's gonna be one of our talking points, I hope. Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 37:30

Well, I have some some takeaways. Far away. A relationship should not feel like question like guessing. Clarity is not pressure, it's respect. And lastly, the right person, I'm sorry, with the right person, you won't be confused as to where you stand. Those are some some takeaways. Now, Professor, I'm gonna uh come with a conclusion and and be ready for last words.

SPEAKER_01 37:58

Go for it.

SPEAKER_00 38:00

So at the end of the day, listen, listen, listeners, at the end of the day, dating shouldn't feel like guesswork. You deserve clarity, respect, and ease from the start. Pay attention to the signs, trust yourself and don't be afraid to walk away from what doesn't feel right. And lastly, the goal isn't to fix or figure someone out, it's to decide if they're right for you. So remember, if it isn't right for you, you are allowed to choose better.

SPEAKER_01 38:35

And choose wisely. Yes. Because if you don't choose wisely, you'll be the one that gets her. And you have to know when to close the door and walk away. Take a walk. Yep. Put them running shoes on. And if you need some, call me. I'll send you some and run. Alright, well, thank you for that. Oh, before you close out. Okay, you have a last word, Professor. I gotta give uh first I gotta thank our listeners. Thanks for all the awesome support. Thanks for the emails and all that. Yes. And we do this for you because we we wanna get this out. And if we can help one person, two people, three people, if we can keep helping people to get out of the situation they're in, or to um not start a situation, or whatever we can do to help, this is what these podcasts are for. Right, to give them even food for thought. Yes, absolutely. And and you know, we hope that you take some of this and listen and and listen or look for those signs that we tell you about because we we want you to be happy in a successful relationship.

SPEAKER_00 39:55

Definitely. And again, listeners, thank you for being a part of the relationship coaching group community. And if today's conversation resonated with you, remember that strong relationships don't just happen, they're built with awareness, communication, and the courage to grow together. And if you've enjoyed this episode, make sure to follow the podcast so you don't miss future conversations about dating, relationships, emotional growth, and building deeper connection. And if you know someone who might benefit from today's topic, share this episode with them. And you can find us on re at relationship coachinggroup.com and you'll find the emails uh addresses, and you can so you can stay in touch with us, or if you have tips or suggestions, please don't hesitate. And until the next time, speak your needs clearly, listen without interrupting, and remember, you're not alone. Together, we got this.

SPEAKER_01 41:02

We got you.