Amy's learnt her lesson

On this episode of the Social Moths Podcast, the chaos starts early and somehow only escalates. The gang debate whether cows are secretly more dangerous than sharks, question if beer could be brewed inside a cow’s stomach, and revisit one of the podcast’s most controversial moments - the “busybody” debate.

Amy shares a story about spotting a growing fire outside her hotel and wondering whether Harriet’s advice about not interfering in situations has gone too far. Meanwhile, Lindsay attempts to establish the difference between genuine emergencies and unnecessary meddling, while everyone else gets distracted by bulls, electric fences and the politics of hotel air conditioning.

There’s also travel disasters, awkward Nando’s etiquette, strange family group chat photos, accidental nudity on Teams calls and more completely unhinged storytelling from start to finish.

Harriet Dyer

Website - https://harrietdyer.com/media/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/harrietdyercomedy?igsh=dWI0dWtndWFsN2ph

Amy Mason

Website - https://amy-mason.com (Currently on tour - see website for dates)

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/amymasoncomedy?igsh=YzE3d3phY2xuM2E0

Lindsey Santoro

Website - https://www.lindseysantoro.co.uk

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/linzsantoro?igsh=MXN5aTJ5dHlnbjByag==

Producer - Richard Lannen 

@richlannen

Produced by Nozzle Media

Website - https://nozzle.media

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/nozzlemedia?igsh=MWVzbm5wano4czNwNQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

I can't spread my wings cause I'm indoors social mods welcome to social mods. I am Hario de Dyer and uh C is a my friend.

SPEAKER_05 0:15

Hey, where are you from? Spain.

SPEAKER_02 0:18

Germany.

SPEAKER_05 0:18

Oh right, sorry.

SPEAKER_04 0:24

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:28

But that means we can all live there.

SPEAKER_05 0:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:31

Because it's inhabited.

SPEAKER_05 0:32

Yeah. Do you know what else is inhabited? I don't know. Somewhere cold, I think.

SPEAKER_03 0:37

Well yeah, you won't know because it's not inhabited yet.

SPEAKER_05 0:40

Do you know there's islands in the Bristol Channel? I'm fed up with fucking islands in the Bristol. Spike Island, Bin Island, Runners Island, the Harbour, Bin Island.

SPEAKER_03 0:51

Bristol Island in the distance of Western Supermare.

SPEAKER_05 0:54

That's that's Wales.

SPEAKER_03 0:57

That's whales. We did a preview with Amy and forgot the microphone.

SPEAKER_04 1:01

Who'd be the first one to die in an emergency situation in a zombie thing? I think I would actually. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:09

I I am so Where's that question come? Just I was just thinking about how Harriet just no, but you think that but I'm actually scrapping in an emergency.

SPEAKER_05 1:19

Under pressure, Harriet's on.

SPEAKER_03 1:21

Because me and Louise, we were swept away up a hill in Wales. We we we started hiking when it uh we misjudged how much light there was in the day.

SPEAKER_05 1:33

I would not ever in my whole life go hiking with you and Louise Young. I just that is a recipe.

SPEAKER_04 1:39

You know what Harry's like? You know when a cow they seem so gentle and nice, but then a cow can lose it and kill you.

SPEAKER_05 1:47

I that's what I've never seen a cow attack anyone. And then they'll get killed by cows. Oh yeah. Not in the verocity that no, they really do.

SPEAKER_03 1:53

It's it's it's that more people die via cows than sharks.

SPEAKER_05 1:57

Where is the facts and figures? This is just you shouting.

SPEAKER_03 2:01

No, no, no, because my brother's girlfriend is petrified of cows. Why? Because of this. And Marvin is also petrified of cows. But you didn't he put cow shit on his head? No, they'll lick. Oh. Is that not the same? No, they don't shit out of their mouths, Lindsay.

SPEAKER_05 2:16

Yeah, but isn't if he's scared of cows, how would you get a cow to lick his head?

SPEAKER_04 2:21

Because what it was was four to five fatal fatalities annually in the UK by via cows.

SPEAKER_05 2:27

Yeah. Because that but in ratio to the amount of contact with cow and contact with shah. Well, I haven't had any contact with a cow. Well, there you go, you've got no comparable. You've got no comparable. Don't come to me with science when you don't have science to give me.

SPEAKER_03 2:41

Excuse me, the science was right there.

SPEAKER_05 2:42

It's not science, it's just figures. There's nothing. I don't live with shark. Excuse me. You can't hold for figures and then ignore the figures.

SPEAKER_03 2:48

And then just why don't you just say that to the poor people that have died of cows?

SPEAKER_04 2:52

The only figure I'm interested in is my own. If I get killed by a cow, don't tell anyone. Just take it to your grave. I'll be so embarrassed. What do you do?

SPEAKER_03 3:00

What does that when they go like that and then you do it over the like a head? You did it in the shape of uh the bishop.

unknown 3:10

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 3:11

But so Marvin wasn't scared of cows, and then I told him about my brother's girlfriend being petrified of cows, and then he was scared of cows.

SPEAKER_05 3:20

Isn't Marvin easily influenced by other people's opinions?

SPEAKER_03 3:24

I don't think so. He just understands when cows come with danger.

SPEAKER_05 3:28

I've never I've never in my whole fucking life looked at a cow and gone, he's gonna shank me.

SPEAKER_03 3:33

Well, when did you last look at a cow?

SPEAKER_05 3:35

This very morning. When I was 15, I went this two in front of me now.

SPEAKER_04 3:40

I went cycling in France with my friend. She came on holiday with my family. And we went into a field to smoke to smoke marlber lights.

SPEAKER_05 3:48

I love how every one of your stories is like when I was an Intiga, when I was in the south of France. I wasn't in the south of France, I was in the north of France.

SPEAKER_03 3:57

I know it's all very cultured with you. Yeah, that's what I mean. It starts cultured.

SPEAKER_05 4:01

It starts cultured.

SPEAKER_04 4:02

So we went into a field to smoke marlborough lights, and then we realised we were in a field with a bull and it was like livid. We only knew what to do, so we went, we climbed over a fence which was electric, and it was like there's no rules on how strong an electric fence can be in France. So it felt like I was being stabbed in the back, never felt anything like it. And then we were trapped between two electric fences. I dropped my bike on the electric fence, so it was all caught up. And every time we tried to take it off, it like electrocuted us even more, and we were there for hours. My parents thought we died because it was before you could have mobile phones.

SPEAKER_05 4:35

And where's the bull in all this?

SPEAKER_04 4:36

Is he just waiting, looking at us in a field?

SPEAKER_05 4:39

So he's not doing anything, looking livid. So he's just he's just human. He's just he's not hurting you, he's just but he was planning it.

SPEAKER_03 4:48

It's like Jurassic Park. What do you mean? You know when that boy falls from the electric fence.

SPEAKER_04 4:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 4:55

Well, I just don't think the bull did any. I think the issue there, the real perpetrator is man and the electric fence.

SPEAKER_04 5:01

Can I say something to you? This is changing the subject.

SPEAKER_03 5:03

Wait, wait, wait. Let's put her in a field with cows and then we'll see who's gonna be. Don't mind them. They don't mind.

SPEAKER_04 5:10

I think she's quite alpha, Lindsay. I feel like she'd she'd went.

SPEAKER_05 5:15

Can you ride cows? Are you allowed to ride them? Let's take you to a field and find out. Hmm. I think there's I like them because they've got four stomachs, haven't they? Have they? Yeah, they eat and then they regurgitate and then they eat and regurgitate. Same food. I believe so. Richard.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

What was that?

SPEAKER_05 5:34

Google it.

SPEAKER_01 5:34

What am I Googling?

SPEAKER_05 5:36

He's not even cows and their four stomachs.

SPEAKER_03 5:39

Cows have four stomachs.

SPEAKER_01 5:40

Yeah, they do, yeah. I know that, but I'm gonna Google it.

SPEAKER_03 5:42

But are they eating the fourth is the fourth stomach just the fourth regurgitate the second regurgitation?

SPEAKER_05 5:51

Of the food. They don't have one for like puddings and one for one for starters, one for a moose bouche, one for buffet, one for carbs. Six stomachs.

SPEAKER_01 6:02

Oh, oh.

SPEAKER_05 6:03

Oh, oh they're all rich and they give us nothing.

SPEAKER_01 6:07

They have one single stomach with four distinct compartments.

SPEAKER_05 6:11

Oh. Like a polypocket.

SPEAKER_04 6:13

Yeah, they built their parts up. That's that's the whole yeah. That's this isn't that.

SPEAKER_05 6:19

Yeah. And why why rich?

SPEAKER_01 6:21

It allows them to ferment and digest tough plant materials like grass.

SPEAKER_03 6:25

Oh. So do you reckon they could they could make beer? Yeah, maybe. If they had no yeast, yes, some yeast in there. Drop some yeast in them.

SPEAKER_05 6:33

Maybe that's what you need because you're a vegetarian, then you can eat more grass or any grass, or you can eat grass. Vegetarians just have four stomachs. Or is he walking over to me with conviction? I don't need to know that entire history. I just need to.

SPEAKER_04 6:47

No, that's why you haven't got your own pocket.

SPEAKER_05 6:49

Google. If there was a podcast, we're just reading things off Google. Yes, can you Google? Can you make beer in a cow's stomach, please?

SPEAKER_00 7:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 7:03

Yeah, but if you can't, that means there's a market for it. Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 7:06

That's what I we can leave. This button. Oh, this has gone wrong. I'm floating above my own body. What are you both on about?

SPEAKER_03 7:12

This is what happens when we drink too much tea. Yeah, this is this is what we I want to tell you something.

SPEAKER_04 7:17

Sorry. Right. Long time listeners will know that Harriet and I had a falling out about somebody. Somebody falling over by the side of the road. And Harriet said that I tried to see if they were okay. Harriet said, of course, obviously, and got really annoyed with me, but it turns out she was actually annoyed because I'd been talking loud on the phone and just I didn't know. There was a whole backstory. Anyway, she said I was a busybody. I took that on board, texted Harriet the other day, and I was really proud of myself. I haven't told you this, Lindsay. And I said, Harriet, I'm really proud of myself because I remember what you said about me being in a busybody. And last night I was in Edgeware, and I was walking back to my hotel, and as I was walking, I saw over the brow of the hill a fire, like a small fire. And as I got closer, I realised that the fire was getting bigger and bigger and bigger. But Harriet, I didn't intervene because I remember what you said about being a busybody. And then Harriet was like, Were there other people there, Amy? And there were sort of were.

SPEAKER_03 8:19

You didn't say sort of.

SPEAKER_04 8:21

There were, but they kind of were just emerging as I was finally got to near the fire. And potentially they could have done with a hand.

SPEAKER_03 8:30

But that's not what you said. This is the the the the Oh no. The issue is awful wrong.

SPEAKER_05 8:36

Is with ha when so the original story for those that don't remember, how could you not? We've had it keeps coming up. Harriet's driving, Amy's in the car, Harriet's in a bad mood because she's hungry. Amy's talking too loud, her key tones are on the phone. It's said in Harriet over the edge.

SPEAKER_04 8:54

Um not aware of anything.

SPEAKER_05 8:57

A lady's falling over in the street, Harriet's clocked it, the lady is being looked after by various people. And she's wrapped in a blanket. At one point or another, Amy leans out of the window and screams, Hello, hello, do you need any help? Um, which Harriet then goes, fuck off, she's fine. I can't, what I don't know exactly. Obviously!

SPEAKER_03 9:16

Yeah, there we go.

SPEAKER_05 9:17

And then for some reason, this was Wait, wait, wait, you missed out a bit.

SPEAKER_03 9:20

Whilst a man from the fall dealership is unlocked for going, yeah, hello, who's falling what?

SPEAKER_05 9:27

So there was a the catalyst of it, there was a lot of overstimulation. Um, both of them were unaware uh of what was happening in each other's um circles and brains, um, and there's much argument about whether Amy was a busybody was a busybody or whether Harriet is a callous woman aggressive who mount mounted the pavement and finished the woman off. Now, the issue is with the fire, if the the woman that fell over, she was being dealt with. We've established that. Well, I didn't know that at the time being. Well, I know, yes, but we're saying in this situation there is a fire and no one is there.

SPEAKER_03 10:04

Why would you have been about to blanket if she wasn't being dealt with?

SPEAKER_05 10:07

I didn't notice the blanket.

SPEAKER_04 10:09

But anyway.

SPEAKER_05 10:12

Yes, I had Harry in my mind. She's I'm But the fire, there was no one there. You just start with.

SPEAKER_03 10:18

And I've not told you to just let people burn.

SPEAKER_05 10:22

You don't need to get involved when this situation is being dealt with, I would say. But if the situation is not being dealt with, we should do that.

SPEAKER_03 10:29

You know, if you have a stroke that's like there's a few things, I think we need to come up with some things for you to think, and then as a result, it's the main issue. Is there someone wrapped in a blanket?

SPEAKER_05 10:41

Is ever is is anyone else aware of the situation that is happening? That's number one. If they're not there, are there signs like a blanket that they're worse in the world?

SPEAKER_04 10:51

I was genuinely proud of myself. I walk back to my hotel from this from the fire and thought Harry's gonna be really pleasing.

SPEAKER_03 10:58

And then she messaged me and I was like, I don't prepare, I think I've done a terrible thing. You can't use me as an excuse because my brother's- My problem here is that I why am I treating you like you're in charge of me?

SPEAKER_05 11:10

This is what she does. She's very good at this. This is when, you know, when she shouts up, yeah, she's got a bit yeah. She actually holds, I mean, you are the most whimsy of us. No, maybe you. But like you've got you're the most oh no, she goes off on her tano. She's yeah, yeah, but but also there is an air an underlying air of authority. Look at you now looking at me like that. I'm actually scared you're gonna. You've got very clear opinions. You've got clear opinions in there. And I feel like I need to appease you to do well in life. And because your moral, like you say, your morals are are just and fair, and therefore, if Harriet, if Harriet, if you do something that that makes Harriet proud of you, you've succeeded in life. And that's all she was trying to do.

SPEAKER_03 11:49

Yeah, but I never said don't like if there's fire, like you have to check that it is being dealt with.

SPEAKER_04 11:57

Yeah, you can't do no help for heroes. We should have like the opposite of that. And you're the patron. Leave people.

SPEAKER_03 12:03

Yeah, but I'm worried about what you've taken from the situation. I don't think it's fair on me. I do. Uh, can you brew beer in cow's stomach?

SPEAKER_01 12:12

No.

SPEAKER_03 12:12

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 12:12

It's similar, but no.

SPEAKER_03 12:14

Oh, there you go. I can't do that then. But was did you hear sirens?

SPEAKER_04 12:19

No.

SPEAKER_03 12:20

Did you hear people?

SPEAKER_04 12:21

There were some people who came out with kebabshot and they were like, uh, and I was like, is that normally like that? And they said no, and they ran towards it.

SPEAKER_03 12:28

Oh, they ran towards there you go.

SPEAKER_04 12:30

Two men. But I they probably could have done with a hand in retrospect.

SPEAKER_03 12:34

What would you have done?

SPEAKER_04 12:35

Called the police, called the amb fire up brigade.

SPEAKER_03 12:37

But they would have done that the day.

SPEAKER_04 12:38

Yeah, but they were running towards the fire, they were busy trying to help people, probably.

SPEAKER_05 12:43

What was um fire? Uh it was like a children's hospital.

SPEAKER_04 12:49

It was I think it was like a shisha bar, like a like a bar, shisha bar thing.

SPEAKER_03 12:55

Imagine if it was just people shishing.

SPEAKER_04 12:57

No, because that's when I was going over the brow of the hill, I was starting because it was really straight road. I started really far away. I thought I saw the fab, but I thought, oh, it's like a bonfire in the you know, like, and then I got closer, it got bigger and bigger and bigger. Anyway, no, it leaves.

SPEAKER_03 13:11

Yeah, but I feel like it's the issue is your interpretation.

SPEAKER_05 13:15

Yeah, I I think it's it'd be it's meddling where you're not needed, whereas that was an actual emergency where you probably could have rang yeah, the emergency services.

SPEAKER_04 13:23

I absolutely love ranging the emergency services. That's why it hit a nerve, what Harriet said, because I am such a busybody. Well, you could have When I've had a chance to call the emergency services in my life, oh, it gives me such a thrill.

SPEAKER_03 13:36

Well, why don't you in the future? Because when the lady had fallen, there was like three people on the telephone. Oh, I didn't see them.

SPEAKER_05 13:44

How can Harriet say this?

SPEAKER_03 13:45

Whilst driving. And she's blind and deaf. Yeah, exactly. Then you've got no right to be dingle-dangling out shouting whilst there's a man from the forward.

SPEAKER_02 13:57

Excuse me! So, but with the fire, you can't say, Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:05

Hello, you might have had a phone call about this, but there is a fire. You could have actually rang them.

SPEAKER_05 14:10

I'm gonna make some fan art of this. I'm gonna make like a like a beautiful artistic interpretation of a woman lying on the floor. Oh, hey, wait a minute. I know what we can do.

SPEAKER_04 14:20

Um, if you were the woman lying on the floor, she's dead now, because no one went to the door. Do you know what happened once? I saw a dead body, uh I saw somebody die outside McDonald's in the car. They were well, they were dead already, I think. No, no, no, I didn't. I sat there eating my hash brown and they were dead in the car. And there were two ambulance men like standing outside the car because the person was clearly dead.

SPEAKER_05 14:44

This is another thing where you should have interviewed.

SPEAKER_04 14:46

Then the next day I went back. I I hovered outside the McDonald's and thought, should I go back to that McDonald's where I saw a dead body yesterday? And thought, yeah, all right, went and got a hash brown. Harry looks disgusted.

SPEAKER_03 15:00

No, I just I find it hard to imagine dead people without crosses on their eyes. Anyway, so so you so you've been social uh slash possibly murderous.

SPEAKER_04 15:24

Don't stay on the Premier Inn in Edgeware. I don't know why I did it, because it was cheap. It but then the walk from the tube station back there was oh, it felt sketchy.

SPEAKER_03 15:33

I think premier in is really overate.

SPEAKER_04 15:35

I like them.

SPEAKER_03 15:36

No.

SPEAKER_04 15:36

I've I've um I said in travel dodges on tour, one had poo on the floor, like actual dog poo, because it was one where you could have pows. Dog poo. You assume it's dog poo. I might assume it's one in the bath had like balled up bits of like wet tissue paper. One really stunk, then I changed it to get into premier in.

SPEAKER_05 15:54

I don't mind a premier in, but they've started this thing now where they won't set the temperature of the air con lower than 19. Premier in. I'm not fucking having it. Same with the hot and I'll go to the front desk and I'll go, oh, I need cold to sleep. I need it. And I know you can set it to 18. So just fucking do it because every time you don't, I will put in a complaint and get my money.

SPEAKER_03 16:16

I've never known that.

SPEAKER_05 16:17

I need cold. I need my mum does. I think it's getting old. No, I think it's my um no, I've I've always needed cold, I need to sleep in the car. That's what's David. Is such a warm man that if he comes near me, I I I will just kick, not kick him, but like slowly kick him away from my body. I need to be aerated. I've got an air conditioner. I will blow it straight up, my fanny, because I need cold. Don't you fucking Supremiere in.

SPEAKER_03 16:51

And do you know who's who the uh the holiday in? It's lovely. I don't want to.

SPEAKER_05 16:58

The one that they put I don't think I stayed in.

SPEAKER_03 17:00

The one that they put you up in Birmingham. Obviously, you wouldn't be put up there because you live there, but but it's so nice. Haven't I told you this story about when my um my when my mum died, and then I it was like my first gig uh there, and then I think the heavens must have been on my side because they upgraded the biggest hotel room. Have I told you this? So then I had the biggest bed I've ever seen in my life, and then I messaged my dad because and when a parent dies, you you're expecting you're hoping to get what you got from the parent that isn't with you anymore. So I've wanted like to converse, like I would have so I said to my dad, Dad, look at this room, look at this bed, it's so big. And my dad messaged back going, Imagine how many men I could have in that bed with me. So now, whenever I go to a hotel and there's a big bed, I always think of my dad. Oh my god. I'm there tonight, tomorrow.

SPEAKER_05 18:07

Fuck me. Um Happy and Abby, I don't I don't know what to um I always like sometimes when you know you can do stuff for like companies and that and they'll put you up after like no. I remember doing this thing in London and they put me up in a hotel for one night, and um it was like it wasn't even like an I think it was at Hamilton Hamilton.

SPEAKER_03 18:31

Oh Hamilton, the Hampton at uh Hilton. Hilton. But there is a Hampton of the Hilton because where we stayed, where you had the green meat, that was a Hampton.

SPEAKER_05 18:41

Oh, it was kind of like that, but it was um so it was but it was like a long, I'd say it was like a like a caravan. So you walk in, like imagine the inside of a caravan, but you're it's it's so it was like a little apartment, had a little little uh I had a sofa and a TV and a kitchen and then a toilet, and then bless you, maybe bless a hiccup.

SPEAKER_02 19:06

But he was a hiccup, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 19:07

Oh and then your bed, but it was like a like if you go stay in a caravan, it was like a just a long room, and I was I've been in here for a night. What do I need a kitchen for? I didn't get there till like eight. Like it's mad, I thought it might be like your little place that you used to live in. Yeah, exactly. It was like that, it was like that. It was it was uh little tiny little house in the um small. Does anyone want to do a listener story or put it in the chat?

SPEAKER_03 19:30

Wait, I haven't finished the um I haven't, you haven't said what you've done.

SPEAKER_05 19:34

I've got the chumps in my fucking brace before I uh well, I had to do a thing in London and I was like, well, I can just and it was in the morning, so I got a hotel and I actively, which I never do, asked to do other gigs the night before. Normally I'll just go down and go to sleep. I thought, no, I'm gonna go and uh actively go and do gigs and see and speak to people, and I will not do it again. I didn't enjoy myself. I just kept thinking, I'm missing out on sleep. But I yeah, so that was all I did. Well I know because I saw other comedians and I actively stayed and spoke to them, even though I didn't want to. What was that? I didn't pay didn't pay attention because I was per!

SPEAKER_03 20:16

I was sorry I'm gonna get very you poo-pooed last week when I said I went for drinks with people after gigs. You went and poo-poo it.

SPEAKER_05 20:23

You did poo-poo it. I'll poo-poo you in a minute.

SPEAKER_03 20:26

Poo poo you poo-poo. So I went to I had a great time. I well, first of all, I went to Nando's with Jonathan Alston. Then I'm he's great. Great. So you said great. Um so did that. Uh let me tell you this, I'm used to I only ever eat Nando's really with Marvin, and um, oh my god, I'll never be ordering corn on the cob again with someone that I don't really know that well. Because the bloody every bite, you the corn's squirting, you've got a whole corn dingle dangling on your tooth. There's a like and you can't make eye contact with someone whilst you're munching on your corn.

SPEAKER_05 21:07

I said about my brother. We went to Nando's, and he he had a massive piece, like the biggest corn piece, and he said, You want half of my corn? And I said, Yeah, go on then. And he like I would I don't know what it is with men in my life eating things the wrong way, but he he ate it like horizontally all the way across, all the way across, and then just like so then one side had no corn on it, and the other side where I would just eat half halfway and then maybe.

SPEAKER_03 21:42

Well, it happened with me and Marvin and he and we cut it in half like normal people.

SPEAKER_05 21:46

Yeah, you've cut it in the middle. But he and I felt like I was like, Well, your mouth has touched too much of this corn now. So he's like a keyboard of corn. Yeah, he's like, That's that's yeah, if it's spit. They do need how to eat things like a normal man. It's a problem with the horizontals. Yeah, it's it's got a they've got a council the horizontal.

SPEAKER_03 22:11

Isn't that shaggin? They've got a council horizontal shag. Oh no, so I went to to Portsmouth and I was basically long drive. It's like two, two and a half hours. But I was in uh I was in Stellalight, I was in Southampton one day, Portsmouth the next. And as I'm getting older, I don't even have the I don't even like doing two and a half, two hours like from one day to the next. It's too much. I can't anymore. It's too much. So then I thought about because basically last time I was in Portsmouth, I well, I really fucked up and I was late. I was supposed to be doing I thought you weren't going back to Portsmouth. No, I wasn't, not for that man. But then um I you know I love Andrew White. Yeah, yeah, um, and I wanted to do his um charity shop thing, and then I was supposed to do it last time I went to Portsmouth, but I I misjudged the timing and I was terribly late and I fucked it up. So I said to him, Oh, do you know what? I might stay over in Southampton and then come and then be there for the day if you want to do that. And then he's doing another podcast as well. So then he said, Well, you could stay at mine. And I my brain was like, Oh, I don't like staying at people's houses. And then I was like, No, I really like Andrew White, uh, and I hate premiere ins, so I'm gonna stay at his house. And I had such a lovely time. Oh, that's for yeah. So I spent all day uh with him, um, and you know, Sanjay. He's a friend that he does the pot the charity shop uh podcast with. So them, and uh so spent all day with them and and then the gig in the evening, and then hung out with you know lovely Joe Wells and his wife. He's great, they're all great.

SPEAKER_04 24:01

I was at a wedding, my cousin's wedding, and Joe Wells was there. That was like a while ago. Oh, I was gonna say.

SPEAKER_03 24:09

You haven't. Like I swear I did a gig not long ago, and and people were like, oh, Amy's I know Amy's brother's cat's wife or something. Like, everyone always knows you at a distance. Connected. So I win. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 24:26

Yeah, you do win, definitely.

SPEAKER_05 24:27

I win. Well, I've not done anything. Yeah, exactly. She's just set fire and fucked off.

SPEAKER_04 24:32

Oh, I went to see six, the musical with um with my daughter and all of her friends and their mums and stuff.

SPEAKER_03 24:40

Oh, here she comes.

SPEAKER_04 24:42

Last year.

SPEAKER_05 24:44

Oh, I forgot I was Oh, I forgot I went out and went to the theatre. So you probably win now. Yeah, you win.

SPEAKER_04 24:51

No, you stayed over with Angie Well, that's more. I was with it.

SPEAKER_03 24:54

No, but that's part of my job. Oh, here we go. You can't do anything this pan anymore.

SPEAKER_05 25:00

Listen, listen to stories. We've got places to be. Rich has got twitchy ass.

SPEAKER_04 25:06

All right.

SPEAKER_05 25:07

He double booked himself.

SPEAKER_04 25:09

I had a friend who was a compulsive fly, and she told me she had a severe peanut allergy. I was sick of being lied to, so I taped a pack of peanut shells to her locker. Turns out the one thing she wasn't lying about was her peanut allergy. I mean, that's just prosecutable, if that's the word. I don't think we should go into that one. And you just don't do that, people. Right. Hello, love the podcast so much. I listened to it loads, and I've watched Harriet's video of the Puppet Show about six times. Not my social phoba, but one I thought would be enjoyed. I was once on a Teams call with a man from work. His desk was in the living room and facing the bottom of his stairs, so I could see them in the background. His wife was at home and didn't notice he was on a call, so much so that she came walking down the stairs topless. When she got to the bottom, everyone realised and she hit the deck and closed the laptop very quickly. She hit the deck. I um that's really good. I once a woman came to my front door, thought it was her landlord's house because there was a landlord somewhere locally that had a similar address to mine.

SPEAKER_05 26:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 26:05

And um, I used to get people coming to like pay their rent and stuff, and I was like, no. Anyway, this woman came and she wouldn't believe me that it wasn't his house. And she was going, Look, I've got the texts on my WhatsApp. Um, I've got the messages. Um she wanted to show me the one that he'd sent with the address, flicked through her WhatsApp messages, and that was just a photo of her with her tits out.

SPEAKER_05 26:29

My friends like that, but she doesn't care. She'd be like, Oh, look through my photos, and she goes, Oh, yeah, that's my tits. And then she'll just cut and I'm like, some people not bothered by that.

SPEAKER_04 26:39

She was bothered. She just pretended.

SPEAKER_03 26:41

She was just some strange woman. Yeah. Yeah, my dad, my dad was showing Marvin photos of his holiday, and Marvin saw his dick. What's wrong with your dad? He just doesn't give a shit. What can we ring him one of the episodes? Absolutely not. Oh god. He's not got he'll he just will be like, sorry, why? And then and then he'll and then he'll just be quiet and then he'll go, excuse me, I need to go to the nudge speech. He's currently in Greece.

SPEAKER_04 27:07

A friend had a photo of a friend's mum shared a photo of his late her late granddad in the family group chat and went, isn't that a lovely photo of grandad? And he had his knob and balls hanging out before. No, it was just an accident. I clearly didn't realise. But my friend was the only one who realised all the all our sisters going, oh what a lovely photo.

SPEAKER_05 27:26

I don't understand.

SPEAKER_04 27:27

She wouldn't say anything.

SPEAKER_05 27:28

This is do you said it to me do you feel draft if there's draft on it on the area? Like would you if your balls are hanging out? Would you get would you feel like that's the one? Oh, you're talking to me. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:40

Yeah, yeah, you do feel it, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 27:41

Then then that's then your granddad's a perfect. Yeah. Anyway, that's the end of the podcast. Thank you. Thanks for coming.

SPEAKER_03 27:48

Um messaging. Yes. Go to everyone on their tours and love, laugh, live.

SPEAKER_05 27:53

Live, laugh, love, life comedy. Yeah. We've with uh uh