.png)
Social Moths
A comedy podcast about finding reasons to be sociable with mixed results.
Harriet Dyer (Live at The Apollo, Cats does Countdown), Lindsey Santoro (BBC Radio 4, Live at The Apollo) and Amy Mason (BBC Radio 1, Over 20 million views on TikTok)
Social Moths
The Beret
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
This week on Social Moths, Harriet's obsession with fairy fantasy books reaches new levels, Amy becomes addicted to picking blackberries in her nightie, and Lindsay attempts the world's least convincing luxury food advert.
There's talk of Brummie accents, talking swans, badgers with unusual eating habits, shopping disasters, colourful berets, and why a swollen elbow apparently changed someone's life forever.
As always, expect plenty of laughs, ridiculous stories and the kind of conversations that only happen when these three get together.
Harriet Dyer
Website - https://harrietdyer.com/media/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/harrietdyercomedy?igsh=dWI0dWtndWFsN2ph
Amy Mason
Website - https://amy-mason.com (Currently on tour - see website for dates)
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/amymasoncomedy?igsh=YzE3d3phY2xuM2E0
Lindsey Santoro
Website - https://www.lindseysantoro.co.uk
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/linzsantoro?igsh=MXN5aTJ5dHlnbjByag==
Producer - Richard Lannen
@richlannen
Produced by Nozzle Media
Website - https://nozzle.media
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/nozzlemedia?igsh=MWVzbm5wano4czNwNQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr
I can't spread my wings cause I'm indoors. Social moths.
SPEAKER_04Welcome to the Social Moffs Podcast. I'm joined today in this interview by Amy Mason, who was returned from being lost at sea, and Harriet Dyer, who is lost generally in life. Ladies, tell me. Excuse me. Tell me.
SPEAKER_05How Why are you talking like that? How sexy.
SPEAKER_04It's because you've been listening to fairy porn and the uh it's not fairy porn, it's um for those who aren't who have joined halfway through, I've got well into um fantasy novels, but I only listen to them in the car when I'm driving. You're making a mockery of my fairy experience. Yeah, and I fucking I think every time I talk to anybody, they go, How's Harriet Dyer? I say, Do you hear about her fucking believing in fairies? We're not gonna tell you about this. She thinks she's gonna get taken away in the night by fairies.
SPEAKER_05I know something.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I just think Do people say how far? Yeah, they go, how is she? She's not I've not seen her age. I did a I did a gig uh yesterday and they were like, Oh, how's your podcast? And I was like, Well, we're all a bit worried about Harriet at the moment. Because she keeps saying she's being taken away by fairies in the night time. And uh, do you know what? I'm starting to believe her.
SPEAKER_01This is the problem. Thank you. If you were but given both of you, you were paid, if you're commissioned to do a voiceover for the Marks and Spencer's food, what would be the voice? Okay. I could you go first.
SPEAKER_04I think you'll do a good voice. Hello.
SPEAKER_05Do you like sausages? I don't like it. These are juicy, very juicy sausages. No one wants a juicy sausage. No gristle. Delic delicious.
SPEAKER_04How have you? Your accent is generally quite a beautiful accent, and somehow you talking about sausages, you've fallen into my realm of grit and sorrow. Grit and sorrow. Yeah, that's no, I thought you'd do better than that. Oh, great, thanks. I can I can have a go. Oh, I'm scared. Dine for two for only for three pounds and have a succulent chicken. Smell so quiet. That's what we have to do. We have to make it more guttural. Go on then, I don't know. No, it's not. It's like succulent and and and farmbread beef. Farm bread. The cows were kissed every night on the lips by the farm.
SPEAKER_01Do cows have lips? Of course they have fucking lips. What do you mean? I've never seen a cow pucker up though.
SPEAKER_04Oh I uh well, you ain't looking hard enough. We're too busy looking at fairies. You know they've got four stomachs. That's a true story.
SPEAKER_01No, we've said that before, it was a lie.
SPEAKER_04It's not a lie.
SPEAKER_05Lindsay said that the fairy porn, she listens to it for the plot and that it's very well remote.
SPEAKER_01I haven't done my impression of it. Oh, go on then. Oh god.
SPEAKER_05Go on then. These aren't just Yeah, that's quite good. Thank you. Oh yeah. I didn't know there was a I had I was at low expectations there, Harriet. Go on.
SPEAKER_01I like Brussels sprouts in my ears.
SPEAKER_04These aren't any fairies. They're fever dreams from Harriet Dyer.
SPEAKER_01No, you've made it monkey.
SPEAKER_05You know when like I haven't! You sound like there's an emergency about to take place, but you're trying to keep calm. Help me. You know when on the land's underground they say Can Inspector Sands come to like you know, and that's like means like security. That's what she sounds like. Trying to keep it together, but really there's a fire.
SPEAKER_04I think it is my Joanna Lumley voice. Oh, go on, I've not heard that. No, that was the saying. Oh, okay. I've heard it then. It didn't sound like Joanna Lumley. Is that what you said?
SPEAKER_01Talking dirty. Joanna. I don't intend to talk dirty. Well, I'll just do it in my own voice. Yeah, that's Fuck me, you bastard.
unknownStick.
SPEAKER_02Stick, sit your willy writing. Wang it about. I don't want that. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to know about it. I already know it would make me dry up like a nun's chuff.
SPEAKER_05Fuck me, you bastard.
SPEAKER_02Fuck me, you bastard.
SPEAKER_04Come on, I want another one. Come here, you dirty little rat. Show me your little bum bum. Oh, that because do you and David talk dirty to each other? No, I can't talk dirty in this voice. Could you imagine?
SPEAKER_05Well, because David, I would imagine that you'd give it a good go there.
SPEAKER_04Uh I can't I'm very um eloquent, but it's the tone I think that really puts. Why do you think you're eloquent? Well, I've got a lot of literature knowledge now from reading all the fairy shanging, haven't I? Um Yeah, so while you're saying it to David, footy you wings at mood. Foot of my flaps, you dirty little peck.
SPEAKER_02Dirty little team.
SPEAKER_01But the thing is as well, because David is an Italian man, so we assume that he would have uh Italian, but he's almost as brommy as you are. Do you reckon? Yeah. He's got a very strong Birmingham accent.
SPEAKER_04Oh, has he? I feel I can't hear that at all. I can't hear. Have you heard him speak? I can't hear David's accent utterly.
SPEAKER_01It's just because it's softer, so it's just not in your pitch. Yours is like the pitch of a bellowing goose.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, uh no, I'd I always thought he didn't really have an accent, like a very subtle brummy, but I think it's got obviously worse living with me. And then I hear my daughter speaking like she got a real brummy accent. Oh, she well, she when she was like two, and like you know, when they like want, they start speaking, she'd drop stuff and go, ow now, ow now.
SPEAKER_02I'm like, oh that's I wonder where she's got it from. You're like, ow, no, ow, now how is she drop? She'd go do something, she'd go, I did it. I did it.
SPEAKER_01Because your mum, your mum's got probably not as strong as you but that's mad, isn't it? If the the the person that you've mainly got your voice from.
SPEAKER_04No, but I mum mum changes her voice when she's in when if there's me and my nan and my mum and my dad and a bucket of in the line, but like no, when it's like my nan, my mum and my granddad, like we um kind of slump into it, so you we ri we really go right back and it almost becomes black country like do you want a cup of tea, Margaret?
SPEAKER_00Oh, who's gonna go in the does anyone want a haircut? Lindsay's coming, she's gonna got some citizens back.
SPEAKER_04It's not that is the it's really that is the the term we go for.
SPEAKER_05So what about your dad? Has he got a Cornish accent?
SPEAKER_04Not as I sound the most Cornish, I think. I don't think you sound too Cornish. I mean you sound Cornish. Who got ears? Not very not as bad as hers, but they ain't far off. Whoa, what uh what what was your mum Cornish?
SPEAKER_01No, she was from Yorkshire. What? Yeah, so she left home when she was 15 and she still had such a strong Doncaster act.
SPEAKER_04Tell me how your mum and dad met, because that's a mad if she's from Yorkshire.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, she left home at 15, moved to London, worked in High Street Kensington boots, and then and she used to serve Joanna Lumley actually. And uh and then she yeah, she met my dad in London. Isn't that mad? All of all the people. Of all the people and then dad was stressed and his elbow got massive. I've told you that before.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's recent.
SPEAKER_01No, no, no. When he lived in London, that's because then dad's from Cornwall, so then they both moved to Cornwall, but my dad got so stressed and his elbow inflated, he just had a massive elbow. Even a tubi group couldn't squash it down.
SPEAKER_04Do you what do you want me to to do with that information? Do you want me to ask more questions? Well, a friend would go, oh, I recognise that.
SPEAKER_05Well, I I don't. Why um why is that relevant to the story, Harry? Yeah, that's what I was trying to say. Well, you've asked me. How do they meet? I told you they were talking about a random minor ailment that your dad had. Yeah, because that's why they left my body then. I was fully aware.
SPEAKER_02They left London because he got away.
SPEAKER_01Because of his elbow. Yeah, because str the stress was overwhelming that it blew his elbow up. But it doesn't cause a blown-up elbow.
SPEAKER_04What does what was he doing in London that was stressing him out?
SPEAKER_01Oh no, I think it was more the fact that he was secretly gay. Oh, well, that was it.
SPEAKER_04Well, I don't know if he knows this, but he's still gonna be secretly gay in Corbyn. Yeah, but with his mother. Oh dear. Anyway, what have you been up to? Oh, ooh, ooh, we've got a post. Oh yeah. Try not to get the address on the No, because it's here.
SPEAKER_01It's where we record, not my own. We still don't want people coming here, do we? Why would they come here?
SPEAKER_04That's true. Don't bother. Okay.
SPEAKER_01So I said, this is I mean, everyone needs to what their game. Was the lady called was it Sophie? Steph, no, Steph Healed.
SPEAKER_04She sent uh an email to the to our email account saying, Oh, I I make I do crochet, and I he replied back, and I was like, Oh, that'd be a nice surprise for for Harriet, but then I I showed Harriet the email because I couldn't wait.
SPEAKER_01Um, and she sent us I've seen a picture and it's the most oh, there's a letter. Oh, there's a letter. Read it. Oh hi Harriet. Thanks for letting me send you this beret. When I heard you mention on the podcast you'd seen one you liked, I couldn't not send you one. You've given me so many laughs over the years. I think I mentioned to you a while back on TikTok, maybe, that I saw you in Leeds do an Edinburgh preview and left feeling like a new person. It was like sorry if this is supposed to be private, it was like therapy, better than therapy, actually. And I've been a fan ever since. Every new series of Taskmaster, I have my fingers crossed, they've asked you to be on it because she write this to herself.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I got really ill a few years back and had to give up the work that I loved. So now I'm trying to build up my online shops. I make needle feltered models of people's pets and also make more unusual stuff like these berets. I've put a picture of one of my models built-oh my god, that's I thought I was a real dog. What's a shop called? What's a shop called? Uh and also make unusual. If when they do get you on Taskmaster, let's put it into the atmosphere. Yeah. If you want a special hat to wear, just let me know. And if anyone happens to ask where you got the dinosaur from, I will put my Etsy shops below. So we've got Etsy.com forward slash shop Daisy Dogs Foulties. Feltes.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because my vowels are confusing. Daisy Dogs. Foulties. And then Etsy.com shop felt like it. Oh, I did it.
SPEAKER_05Let me have a look.
SPEAKER_01Facebook and Instagram, Daisy Dogs Feltered Friends. Thanks for all the dogs. Daisy Dogs Feltered Friends.
SPEAKER_04Oh, let's have a look at it. Now, if you're listening and you want to see what Harriet's doing, you can sign up to our Patreon. Daisy Dogs Felter Friends.
SPEAKER_05Daisy Dogs Felted Friends.
SPEAKER_04Wow. I don't remember it. That's so nice. That's incredible. Put it on. I want to see where this bet right, okay. You look like Oh, Harriet. Ah, it's fantastic! That's so nice. What does it look like? You've not put it on quite right, but it does. It's the bellet itself is gorgeous. Just not a face.
SPEAKER_01Do I look like make a wish? When don't you? Like I do. Do you know what I mean? Like I look like I should be off to Disneyland.
SPEAKER_04Oh that's what I usually look like when I wear a hat. Can I well, what I'm gonna say, and I mean this with no disrespect, you've got pink trousers on, orange light highlighted shoes, a blue top and a yellow beret. You look like a kid's TV.
SPEAKER_02You look like Timmy Mallet.
SPEAKER_04You look like the mallet from Timmy's. Is he safe? He's I don't I think he's okay. You look like the mallet from Timmy Mallet. Oh, was it pinky punk?
SPEAKER_05That's actually look. I want to look at the actual dinosaur. It's pretty fucking good, isn't it? Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And it's my favourite dinosaur.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. And it's got it's got party balloons around it. Very nice. Thank you for the body. For being social. Yeah. It's a social dinosaur. It's so well made. I'm very impressed. I'm gonna have to teach you how to wear a better.
SPEAKER_01So can everyone please follow Steph's Etsy page and it's Lazy Dog Selton. How do I put it on so people can see the dinosaur?
SPEAKER_04You kind of have to put it at the side. I'm gonna get up. Hang on. Because otherwise you look like a dictator. Isn't that better? I kind of want the the beret, like it kind of goes at the side and then hold the front for me. And then let go. And you have to kind of like push it backwards a bit so it's not but then you know how to do that. Because I'm half a fucking head. I thought she was gonna say because I'm half friendly. That looks nice. That does look nice. But I don't know. Why don't you look look on your phone? Okay, thank you. I'm gonna plug the patron again if that's all right. So do you want to watch a video of Harriet opening it? Because obviously this is audio, you can't see what's going on. So sorry if it's been rustly. Yeah, um you have to sign up. Oh yeah, we've got it.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, but P Baret at the side beret with party balloons, and it's got a what is the is it that made up dinosaur from Jurassic Park?
SPEAKER_04No, it's a real dinosaur.
SPEAKER_01No, it's been made up for the it's a Dilophosaurus. It never actually existed. It was made for a Jurassic Park. You're joking. No, I found this aren't recently. The one that goes with the thing. Dilophosaurus, yes. Absolutely devastating. Especially because I've got a tattoo with a bastard.
SPEAKER_04Well, you've got enough tattoos to be getting on with. You've got Lizard skiing, you've got uh a salamander. A salad you've got hedgehog eating a packet of crisps or something, I think. No, screaming into the night. Screaming into the night. Yeah, that's right.
SPEAKER_01So what have you been up to?
SPEAKER_04I um I um I was walking through Worcester and um uh I was just kind of I I'd went shopping on my own and I thought, right. And then I went to the front and I You went shopping on your own? Yeah, and then uh just felt like it. And uh I went and sat like by the front and then I saw these two swans and they were prop rabbing a go at each other. Sexual violence. No, like ah and I thought, you know what? Sexual or violence. I don't there was me a bastard. And I thought, I thought, I could leave this or I could be social and get involved and see how they go. So I went up and I said, What's happening? And and the one swan said, he says the queen's dead, and I said, Yeah, she is, and then the other one said, Well, that means we can do what we want. And I said, No, because now the the the other king is in and he's in charge of you now. And they said, Fair enough, and that was that was the only thing I did this week. Any questions? No, where was it?
SPEAKER_01What's that? Yeah, but what sort of water? Because I thought you were in a River Seven! What did you buy?
SPEAKER_04What I want to know is what you bought. I went to Primark and bought them butt uh tit tape things that pull your tits up. But they I went over to mine, they just fell out. So I need to get a bigger size. And you can buy them online, but I'm not gonna.
SPEAKER_05Did you have a nice cappuccino when you went out?
SPEAKER_04No, I don't really. I don't like to drink a coffee if I'm walking around because it does terrible things to my bowels. And if I have a coffee when walking, like at the petrol station, they'll go like, you filled up enough. Do you want a coffee? And I'll I'll get it, but I won't drink it because I think I don't want to be going down the M6 and then, you know, I've got to stop for a big poo-poo. These are the things that happen when you're a travelling comedian.
SPEAKER_05But then you used to have a little treat. I like a little treat when I'm out shopping. Oh, I always treat myself. What do you treat yourself? I have sit down and have a little coffee and a little cake, probably.
SPEAKER_04I don't like my own company, I find myself very infuriated. I like to keep myself amused.
SPEAKER_05I always sat down on my lunch break and saw a when I had a job, proper job, and I saw a seagull pick up a duckling and just eat it in one. Amy! His little legs were kicking out.
SPEAKER_01Amy, no. What have you done, Harriet, anyway?
SPEAKER_05Sorry, I don't know why I said that. It's a horrible story.
SPEAKER_01Not a duckling.
SPEAKER_05Oh, that's Harriet gone now.
SPEAKER_01I once, well, the first time I went to Exeter, I got out of my car and there was a seagull eating a rat. That's alright.
SPEAKER_05That's alright, that's good though, they should.
SPEAKER_01What have you done, Harriet? Well, I've joined a Facebook group. Here we go. Because and it's called uh Let's Not Cull the Badgers. Uh because it the badgers have got a terrible reputation. And and I think, you know, now that I live in Bristol, I should sort of be on a better vibe with nature. I told the story about when David pushed me into a badger, didn't I?
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_01Did I not? Do you remember when that guy that was a Gordon uh a little person and a Gordon Ramsay impersonator and he fell down a badger set and a badger killed him? I was that was a story.
SPEAKER_04It was. Oh no.
SPEAKER_01Anyway, so I uh yeah, so I've uh been out uh making friends with badgers. I've excuse me, anyway.
SPEAKER_05Why have you been making friends with badgers? Oh sorry, so you've actually you actually did more than be on a Facebook group. Yes.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, she's I went out and saved the badgers, I saved the swans.
SPEAKER_01I've had two families of badgers run my house.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, for two.
SPEAKER_01Because now that the lift works, yeah, they all they all got up. And uh would do you you never guess what badger's favourite food is.
SPEAKER_04Can I try?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Umosa. What a good guess, but no. Ham sandwiches, but they don't like it when they're cut into squares, only triangles.
SPEAKER_04Mm-hmm. I see that.
SPEAKER_01And then I did uh because the because of everyone thinks that badgers have got TB, that I thought let's try and stop that. So I was g giving them like smoothies, blackberry, but they haven't got TB, they just like to watch TV. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Have you really been out with the badger people? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05What have you done with them?
SPEAKER_01I told the what part of they have come round mine for tea? Did you not understand? And I went crab fishing with uh with the youngest badger child, Kenneth. That's an unusual name for a child this day and age. Not in the badger world. Because you know, when we ended up doing um old-fashioned names, the the badger community is a little bit backwards, so so they've only just they probably get the names off gravestones because they live in like graveyards and they probably see all the old names.
SPEAKER_05The ones I know don't live in graveyards.
SPEAKER_04But can they even read? Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01Only when they wear bifocals. Are they good at math? Not not math.
SPEAKER_05Would they be good on countdown? That's what I wanted to know. Would they be good on countdown? I don't know why I was asking that. Good at math, good at English, good at math.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. What do you think of that?
SPEAKER_05I'm surprised, but um I'm not as surprised as you. If you told me that you'd done that, I would be very surprised.
SPEAKER_04With Harriet, I'm only like a swan, and you're like, what did you get when you were swapping when you were shopping?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, she's been chatting with the swans. What do you have to say about that?
SPEAKER_05Well, she kind of just sort of had a very brief interaction with us one. What's going on?
SPEAKER_04What's going on? We just sort of saying in the last episode, um, we decided that we would just tell a silly story and see if you'd noticed. And it turns out you just didn't fucking notice till we kept drilling it home that it wasn't quite right. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I was talking about badges, and you were like, Can we um can't?
SPEAKER_04This is uh, yeah.
SPEAKER_05No, I didn't notice.
SPEAKER_04No, I know that's the worry. We thought she'll switch this straight away. No, no, I didn't notice I didn't really do anything because I was poorly again with my sinusitis, is the truth. I did a gig and then uh act to take May, but it was lovely because the gig was 30 minutes from a house, and Mike Crump was running it, and his uh husband Larry Dean was on, and Brennan Reese and Matt Richardson and it and their partners were there, and it was nice Oh that's nice, it's lovely. And I took May and there was a little guarded and we had a nice little time, and that was that was it, and then I was ill, like so ill, to cancel loads of stuff.
SPEAKER_01Does Mikey do stand up?
SPEAKER_04He used to, and now he stopped, and now he's kind of going back to it. Brilliant. So I hope he is anyway, because he's very funny. But um when I was about to go on stage, he was on the opposite side of the stage, um, and he showed me his bonbon, and that really threw me off.
SPEAKER_01Don't show me your bonbon for you go on stage, please. Thank you. Uh something quite important is this hat. I cannot what how you've put it on my head, if the moment there's the slightest bit of wind, it will just fly off. G it makes you feel like that, but it's not it's not true. I'm telling you.
SPEAKER_04What shut your head about? Uh Wow, that was vigorous and too much. I mean that's how wind works. I'm not putting that back on for you. You pin it to your hair.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that pins our things.
SPEAKER_04What to your skin? No, you don't pin it to your skin, you fucking idiot. You put it to your hair. Fucking nailing a hat to your head.
SPEAKER_01With a mullet.
SPEAKER_04Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna do it my way.
SPEAKER_04Well, I wish you wouldn't. Let's have a look. Fantastic. Kelly Pat. Sorry, but please. It's a lovely beret and you're wearing it awful. There you go. Not there you go.
SPEAKER_05I love all the phases, like the stages of like encountering you that somebody will experience. So they'll see you from far away and they'll think that's a brightly coloured woman. And they'll see you close, or man, they might think. Get closer, and they'll think, Well, they're wearing a beret. And then they'll get even closer and they'll go, What oh my what the fuck? And they'll see.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_05And then they'll say, What a beautiful.
SPEAKER_04If you only realize I'm not saying you need to colour coordinate, but like it it there is every colour now on you, which is nice.
SPEAKER_01But look, I get this from my mother. My mother said Doncaster was so depressing that she always wore orange trousers. Fantastic woman.
unknownLove it.
SPEAKER_01Because it's so grey.
SPEAKER_05Dora, my daughter's painting her room at the moment, her dad's, and she's because he just let her. I mean, I I'm pretty free and easy about what my children decorate their rooms, but he is like next level. So that she's painting it it like teal, like the really bright teal blue. Lovely. And then the brightest orange I've ever seen.
SPEAKER_01What do you mean? Like what one wall is.
SPEAKER_05Well, they're kind of experimenting with how they're gonna do it, but I think it's gonna be like diagonal teal and orange.
SPEAKER_03Isn't there a football team of that colour? I don't know. Juventus. Yeah, if you like. I don't know any football teams.
SPEAKER_04When we did the World Cup, that was a laugh, wasn't it? Remember?
SPEAKER_05We did the World Cup.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, we was in it, wasn't we?
SPEAKER_05I didn't know it was the World Cup till till the day before we got knocked out of the World Cup. I genuinely did not know. How did you miss it? Because I'm just paying no attention to anything.
SPEAKER_01And did you not hear when in the of an evening in your house?
SPEAKER_04I was doing an outside gig and um oh well I can't remember his name. Jack D was was going on, and it was the French, you know, the third place player. You're nodding, you don't fucking know. Um, and England got about 700 goals, and Jack D just went on outside gig, London, and he went on just as the game started, and within about three minutes, England got a goal, and he was on, and you just heard everyone go, it's really like if you're gonna do an outdoor gig, maybe don't do it with a football on, or put a roof on because there were so many goals in that game. Do you mean you can't just put a roof on outdoors? You can, it's called a tent.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Thanks. Thanks, thanks for agreeing with me.
SPEAKER_01What what have what have you really done? You never guess what I've really done. Oh, it's gonna be flipping badges. No, it's real life. The harbour festival was on in Bristol, and I went, I had a Saturday off, and I went with people, and I got a non-alcoholic beer because I had a thing to do the next day, so I didn't want a goblet like usual. And then um uh and then I went with people. I hated it so much, and then but I stuck with it for a full two hours. Well done. And I ended up uh in a field chatting to people I didn't know, and I actually had and I thought it was awful, and I thought a bit I was a bit of a cop out by leaving because they started to get a bit drunk, so then I left, and then I got a message the next day saying that that all so all my friends' friends said that I was like really lovely and fun. Oh what fields were you in? In in the the square had uh the St Peter's Square. Oh, I don't know what that is.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, you do my belly, yeah.
SPEAKER_01And that had um, oh and I felt so sorry for this man. So he was doing this uh so he was doing singing, he was singing in the daytime, and then he he did this whole thing going, oh, usually I have a swear word in in like in the chorus, so I've had to change a lot of the words. So then uh so just know that it's not quite the song that it usually is, and then he said, hit it to the tech guy. He obviously hadn't edited his music, so the fox kept fucking his poor face, and we were like, oh dear, but it was really funny, and I don't think anyone really minded. Yes, so I but then but I'm gonna know when it's the next harbour festival because I live on harbour and there was on Sunday banger music all day long. Oh no. By the end of it, I couldn't even. I then left, went to do a gig, and I'm still hearing banger music. Hayley Ellis came, oh yeah, Hayley Ellis came to stay. She needed a nap. Who's napping to bangra?
SPEAKER_05My daughter, uh Thora, I gave her my old digital radio, which I would recommend doing with your children because people go on about modern tech. Just give them your old tech that isn't digitally connected. And so she loves this digital radio, and her favourite station is BBC Asian Network. I just hear her listening to the show.
SPEAKER_01It's got some bangers on it, yeah. Yeah, it does, but not for like not from 10am to 7 pm.
unknownThank you.
SPEAKER_01And then and then this guy was going, come on, everybody, and then was telling them to to go in, go and repeat in the chorus, and I was thinking, We get it! Up, down, left, right, around. Like, so that and then every but it was really nice, everyone was dancing and I get it though.
SPEAKER_04So I want to see you do the move up, down, left, right, around.
SPEAKER_01I did it whilst cooking my aubergines. With the badger, with the badger, eating the ham sandwiches. It always surprises me that you're not a vegetarian. So, can you believe that that is so social for me?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that is pretty good.
SPEAKER_05That is very social. Well done. Thank you.
SPEAKER_04That is uh yeah, Amy, have you done anything?
SPEAKER_05Uh you've been in mourning. Yeah, for what I ate, I got so obsessed with blackberries. Blackberries.
SPEAKER_01Oh, the poverty fruit.
SPEAKER_04Blackberries, yeah, you tramps well on the bottom.
SPEAKER_05I got so fucking obsessed with the blackberries in my garden and in the lane next to my house. But I went out in my nighty and my neighbour walked past, and I was like, they're delicious at them home and in the lane. And then the next day within my night again. This sounds unwell. In the park with my daughter with my nighty tucked into my uh pajama box. Why are you in the party?
SPEAKER_01Yes, why are you in the night in the day?
SPEAKER_05Because my my uh my I've got a part opposite literally opposite my house in the playground. So I put my daughters in your house. Yeah, but too many clothes. But I just and then I was in the again in the in the bush, in the park, just shoving blackberries in my house. My whole town was purple, my hands were purple.
SPEAKER_04I don't know if this is a compliment or an insult, but you look like somebody who would pick blackberries out of a bush.
SPEAKER_01But this is the because you are so do you. Nothing wrong with that. We're not afraid of our roots. But because you are the princess of Bristol, you'll you'll be on one of them like local pages. Oh, I've seen her.
SPEAKER_04You're like a fox in a bin, but I tick tock to the knickers and she's like catchy out the floor. Amy Mason, she's looking glamorous, eating a black room.
SPEAKER_01So, so, so glamorous. Do we go now? Yep. Thank you so much. Join our Patreon if you want to see a me opening my beret. Thanks again for that. I really appreciate it.
SPEAKER_04And we'll put some uh we'll put some pictures of the action photos. Yeah. Can you take a picture of us, Rich? Now we're finished.
SPEAKER_01Oh, we're finished.
SPEAKER_04Bye. Bye.