Episode 4: Creative Blocks, Too Many Ideas and the Fear of Peaking

In this episode of The Creative Couch, I respond to three thoughtful creative dilemmas from Chinju, Catherine (with a nod to Siobhan, who sent in a very similar question) and Jane – each exploring creative block, creative overwhelm and the fear that your best work may already be behind you.

Chinju is a busy mum who hasn’t drawn regularly for many years. She feels a deep pull to return to drawing, but when she opens her sketchbook she freezes. The blank page feels intimidating and comparison with other artists creeps in. How do you begin again when creativity feels important but life is already full?

Catherine loves exploring different creative processes – from watercolour sketching and lino printing to quilting and other making. Siobhan wrote in with a very similar dilemma. With so many ideas and interests pulling in different directions, how do you focus your energy and actually finish the work you start?

Jane has made a body of work over the past couple of years that she feels really proud of. But alongside that pride has come an uncomfortable question: what if I’ve already peaked? How do you move forward when you’re worried you might never make work as strong again?

In this episode, I explore:

• Returning to creativity after a long pause
 • How to work with curiosity without becoming overwhelmed
 • Why the fear of “peaking” often appears at moments of growth
 • Practical ways to keep moving forward in your creative practice

Each dilemma is unpacked gently, with both emotional insight and clear, practical homework you can try in your own practice.

If you have a creative dilemma you’d like me to explore, please email me at

thecreativecouchpod@gmail.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome to the Creative Couch. I'm Sam Marshall, artist and creative coach. This is a podcast about creativity, confidence, and living a creative life. Hello and welcome to the Creative Couch podcast. I believe this is the fourth episode. So it's a Thursday evening. It's been an absolutely beautiful day here in the UK. Here's Marple. Marple's here on my lap. Those of you who are watching on YouTube, here she is. So we've come into the studio to record this session today, this podcast today, because I'm off to Japan next week. So I'm going to try and get as many podcasts as I can done, recorded before I head off next Wednesday. So yeah, I'm trying to do as much as I can so that I can uh release them when I'm in Japan over the next few weeks. So here goes. Thank you to everybody again who has responded to my shout out for dilemmas. Um I'd still like some more. I'd love more. So if you've got any creative dilemmas, do send them into the creative couchpod at gmail.com. I'm steadily making my way through them. And thank you to everybody who sent me lovely comments about the podcast. It really means the world that you guys are listening. You're telling me you're listening while you're making your supper. Some of you are listening to them in your car, on your walks. It really means a lot. So thank you to you all. It's like I say, it's a new endeavour for me. I'm loving it, I'm really enjoying it. I'm really enjoying taking the time to redraw dilemmas and just kind of sit with them for a while and let them percolate and then make some notes and then refine it. I'm really enjoying the whole process of it. So again, thank you. So this week, my friends, we have three really interesting dilemmas to answer. Um, we're going to be answering, I'm going to be answering Chinju's dilemma and Catherine's dilemma with a nod to Siobhan, who sent in a very similar dilemma, and also we're answering James' dilemma. So I'm going to start off with Chinju. And Chinju wrote to me a couple of weeks ago, and she wrote that she's a mother of three. Sorry, she's a mother of a three-year-old, not the mother of three. Maybe she is the mother of three. She didn't say she was the mother of three. She said she's the mother of a three-year-old. Which means that free time is often limited. So earlier in her life, she used to draw regularly, but over the past 10 years, that practice has gradually slipped away. And she now feels a strong pull to return to drawing. But when she sits down with a sketchbook, she feels blocked. The blank page feels intimidating, and she finds herself worrying that whatever she draws needs to be perfect. She also notices that she looks to other artists online for motivation. But instead of helping, it often leads her to compare herself and makes her feel even more hesitant to begin. So what she really wants here is to draw freely. She would like to create without fear, tension, judgment, or comparison, but somewhere along the line, her creative flow has stopped. Okay, so a lovely juicy dilemma to get stuck into first. So, first of all, I want to say that nothing that you've written here is unusual, Jindu. In fact, it's incredibly common, especially when somebody is returning to creativity after a long sort of hiatus. And 10 years is a long time. I mean, obviously, in that time, things have really shifted for you. You know, you've become a mum, your time has become much more compacted in that way. And your creative muscles have just gone a little bit quiet. So that doesn't mean though that they've disappeared. I think what you're doing here is you're putting a lot of pressure on that poor sketchbook to start again. It's like it's a lot of weight for that single page to carry, isn't it? You know, you're you're hoping that you'll sit down and suddenly the sketchbook will become alive with these wonderful drawings that you're doing. And I think that in itself is actually part of the problem is that you know, the whole idea of sitting down with a sketchbook, right? I'm going to draw, is almost becoming a part of the problem. You know, the sketchbook, the sitting down, the intention is becoming the problem because it's such a weighted thing. And I think what struck me the most when I read your um dilemma, Shinju, was the comparison part because you're looking obviously online for motivation, you're looking at other artists, you're probably looking at them on Instagram, and you're thinking that they're going to help you, but actually what's happening is that they're almost preventing you because what's I can really see that that comparison has has kind of slipped in. And what happens is that we don't get motivation, we get intimidation. I write that down. Not motivation, but intimidation. And you know, we start comparing ourselves to artists who have been, you know, creating every day for a long period of time, you know, that their their practice is in full flow, you know. And that can be really tricky, can't it? And also you're just getting snapshots of people and remembering that, you know, Instagram or however you're looking at these people, you're just getting small snapshots of their life. And what you're doing is that you're taking a bit of this, a bit of that, a bit of this, a bit of that, and you're almost creating this imaginary person who's got it all together that you're comparing yourself to, rather than looking at the whole thing where actually you're just taking small little segments of you know different people along the way. And I think it's not I think the blog that you're describing isn't really about drawing, it's about kind of expectation, pressure, comparison, and all of those things mixed in. So it's not really about the drawing, I don't think. Um and I think that creativity doesn't really evolve in those conditions, it's not the ideal conditions for it to grow and to grow again. I think that's that's the kind of thing that I want to stress at the beginning of this. So this is the kind of emotional layer that we're digging into. Like I say, I always like to um, well, like I say, I've said before, I like to structure these. This is how I approach it. So I look at the emotional layer and then I look at the practical layer, I summarise the the um my answers, and then I give you some homework. So at the moment we're dig digging into this kind of emotional layer. We just talked about what happens when you look at people or artists online or creatives online and you look for inspir inspiration, but actually what happens is you feel demotivated and you compare yourself. So I think that's what's that's what's happening a lot here, along with the fact that you know there's a lot of expectation on that single piece of paper in your sketchbook. So I think with all of that said, the practical uh solution here, I think, is to reduce the noise. So I think that what would be really helpful for you, um Jinju, is to step away from that for a while. Because I think inspiration is helpful, but not if it makes you feel smaller before you even begin. So I would encourage you to kind of maybe stop scrolling for a while, just give yourself a break from looking at other people, because also you're you're also getting influenced by you know different techniques, different ways of working, different ways of thinking, and it's all becoming a bit of a sort of a mess in your mind. It's like, oh my god, I can hear all this, all these different voices, all these different ways of approaching things, all these different ways of drawing, and and it's all just floating around in your mind because you you know, because there hasn't there hasn't actually been pencil to paper yet. So I think that's the the key thing. And I what why what I would like you to do, and I think this is quite obvious, but I think it's important that I say it, is that I'd like you to keep your new practice small and manageable. You've got a three-year-old child, your time is precious, and it's not the season of life where you suddenly have all this abundant amount of time to, you know, um to make lots of work in the studio. You know, it's it's it's about not waiting for the perfect moment, it's just about seizing a bit of time when you can. And actually, I think that can be really helpful. You know, 10 minutes is enough, 20 minutes is enough. That's fine. Just just five minutes is enough. That's okay, that's okay. But it's consistency. And I keep coming back to this word consistency. It's consistency, consistency, consistency. Practice, practice, practice. So at the moment, the goal isn't to create beautiful drawings. I mean, I don't really think the goal ever is to produce beautiful drawings. The goal is simply here is to rebuild that practice of drawing. So I'd keep the materials really simple, I would keep a small sketchbook, a pencil and pen, nothing precious, nothing expensive. You don't have to go and buy new materials, you just need to keep it really simple. And when you sit down, remove this idea that the drawing has to be good. I mean, I will keep coming back to this whole idea of evaluating your drawings or your artwork with these different terms because I don't think it's helpful. Um, so you know, just sit down and approach it with a spirit of curiosity. What's going to happen here if I just make some marks on paper for the next five minutes? Um, so treat it almost like a daily exercise, a bit like getting up and brushing your teeth, or you know, a bit like getting up and putting your socks on or whatever. Just treat it, take, take the pressure off, treat it very casually. You don't have to show anybody your drawings. You don't. You don't have to show anybody your drawings. You don't have to post them online, they're just for you. And I think that is the key thing here is because you're looking at all these people who are doing things online, and suddenly you're like, oh, well, if I'm doing something creative, I have to show it. You don't, you don't have to show it at all. You can keep it to yourself. And I think that that giving yourself that kind of permission to just have your sketchbook for yourself is actually really healthy at the beginning. It's really healthy until you get a little bit more confident, you've got a little bit more of that kind of creative muscle flexing again, then keep your drawings to yourself. And I think creativity rarely reappears in a dramatic burst. It just appears when there's steady, there's a steady commitment to turning up. I think that's the key here. Lots of keys here. I keep saying that's the key. There's lots of keys, there's lots of keys here. So, in summary, if you take one thing away from this, I think your your creativity hasn't disappeared. It's just been laying dormant for a while, while your life has been busy and full. And what you need now is not inspiration or motivation, you just need small, regular actions to get you back on track. So your homework, Kinju, is something very simple you can do every day. And for the next few weeks, I just want you to draw something small every day. Now, if you've got my book, the um daily prompts, uh, chapter five, I think not chapter five, section five, with the daily drawing prompts is an ideal opportunity for you to get going with that. So all you need to do is write down some prompts, write down the prompts, put them in the butt in the in a tin, and then just pull out a prompt every day and do whatever it says. So it could be something yellow, just draw something yellow and set yourself a timer. Just set yourself a timer, do it, do it for 10 minutes. You don't have to overthink it, you just do what's in what comes up on the prompt and you just get going with it. And you keep it to yourself. You don't have to judge the results. Sorry, you don't have to post anything, you don't have to show anybody. I I would quite like you to just just tune into that voice which is telling you that this is pointless, that this is a waste of time, and this is no good. Listen to it, just listen to it, but don't feed it. Just listen to it, let it chunter a lot way to itself, but just don't feed it, okay? Just be aware of it. And the thing is, by doing this, by but consistently turning up and doing it, that voice will get lower. I promise you. It'll get it'll get quieter and quieter and quieter until it's just a gentle hum in the background. Okay, not a loud, shouting voice. Just keep doing it, it'll it'll lessen its hold on you, and you'll be able to move through, I think, and and regain this lovely consistent practice. Right. I hope that helps. Okay, right. That's that one done. Okay, moving on to Catherine. So Catherine sent through a dilemma that keeps kind of coming up in the dilemmas that I'm getting in. And I've kind of combined Catherine's dilemma with Siobhan's dilemma. So what Catherine wrote to me was then repeated in Siobhan's dilemma a couple of um emails further down the line. So let me summarise Catherine. So Catherine has been drawing and painting for just over a year, and like many people at the beginning of a creative practice, she's thrown herself into trying lots of different materials: watercut, lino cut, sorry, watercolour, lino cut, oils, acrylics, pencil, ink, collage, pastels, charcoal, you name it, Catherine's tried it. And she said she's enjoyed experimenting, but she's starting to wonder whether constantly trying new materials is stopping her from progressing. She feels like she should have a preference by now, and she's asking herself how she might focus a little more. And like I said, Catherine isn't alone in this. Siobhan also sent in a very similar email. Um, and you know, her biggest dilemma is that she's just drawn to so many different things: watercolour sketching, liner cut, uh, quilting, and it's and she still wants to try more materials. So the dilemma really here isn't about creative curiosity pulling in lots of directions, it's all it's wondering how to focus without losing that sense of excitement. I think that's kind of the the the the the kind of the main crux of the dilemma here. It's like got all these ideas, trying all these new things, and how can I focus my energy a bit more without losing that thrill? Okay, so let's look at the emotional lay here. Again, I want to say this is I think this is really normal. It's when you start off something new, it's a bit like being a kid in the sweetie shop, isn't it? You've got all these sparkly new materials, all the beautiful colours, and you know, there's all these all these sorts of different possibilities. And I think what's happening here though, Catherine does say in her original email though, that she is identifying that she is enjoying certain things. She is enjoying. Um, I think she said that she's already started. Yeah, that is it. Sorry, I I should have said this in the original email. She did write that she's realized that pastels and charcoal aren't really for her. So, in a way, she's already making these decisions. She's already editing out materials that she doesn't really enjoy using. So I think that process of deciding which medium is for you is already beginning to happen. Now, we only have to look at like courses like a foundation course in art and design, whereby you are encouraged when you start to try lots of different materials. You know, you might have a week of painting, you might have a week of sculpture, you might have a week of printing. And the idea is that you're exposed to lots of different things. And then eventually you'll begin to kind of hone in on the thing that really, you know, kind of works for you. And I think Catherine, by the sounds of it, is already beginning to do that. And I think we also do assume that by a certain point we'll know what it is that we want to kind of specialise in, um, as if there's one correct answer. But I think creative practice doesn't really work like that. But I think one of the main things I found here in your dilemma, Catherine, was that you've talked a lot about materials, but there's not much at all about your own ideas here. And it's interesting, I've just come off a coaching call with one of my other creators, Elizabeth, and we talked about exactly the same thing in that there comes a time when you can try out all of these different materials, but actually you then need to decide what it is that I'm making the work about. So, this is the thing for you, Catherine. I think this is where we need to look at the practical layer here, because I think what you need to do, which I think will help you be selective with the materials that you want to work with, is I think let's go back to your drawings because you guys know how I feel about drawing. Drawing is the foundation of everything that that I think that you know we we do as creatives. I think that's the true essence of us as an artist. It's the line that we put on the piece of paper, the marks that we make on paper, and we can tell a lot from our drawings. So I think for Catherine, what I'm going to suggest, and for Chevrolet as well, is to get out a load of your drawings. If you've got them in sketchbooks, maybe photocopy them and put them all out on the floor. And what I want you to start to do is look at what subjects keep reappearing. What things do you like drawing? What subjects appear again and again and again? What colours are you using? What marks are you making? Because I think once you start noticing those patterns, the materials themselves often become much easier to use. Say, for example, your draw, if your drawings are quite bold and quite graphic and simplified, then maybe something like screen printing, printing might be something that you really want to kind of hone in on and focus. Or if if you you know, if you you could do lino cut and you could treat lino cut in a really strong graphic way. Or maybe if your drawings are more loose and fluid, it could be that watercolour is something that supports your ideas better. Maybe if your drawings are like layered and textured, it could be collage or holograph that is something that you really want to spend some time with. So look at the evidence of what's happening in your drawings, look at the subject matter, look at what it is that you keep coming back to, because then it then I think you've got what it is that you want to make the work about, and then the materials can follow. I think that's the most important thing here. It's not it the ide that the materials should support the idea, not the other way around. And I think so. I think that will help you. Um so again, I'm gonna ask you to simplify, I'm gonna ask you to focus. And I wouldn't worry that you haven't found your medium yet. I mean, you've only been making work for a year, and experimenting experimentation at this stage is really I think important. But you're right in that actually, I think there does come a time when you are hungry to kind of give something a little bit longer to see what happens when you push a medium that little bit further. Um, so your ideas and your drawings guide your material choices. That's what I keep writing here again and again. Um, and I think you should give yourself some boundaries as well. So your homework, Catherine and Siobhan, is to lay out your drawings. So lay out 10 to 20 drawings, maybe take some photocopies from your sketchbook, get them all out on the floor, have a look at them, and then start to notice patterns and marks and colours and compositions and all that kind of thing, and start to make notes about what it is that you think you're investigating with your work. What is it that excites you? What is it that, you know, like say with with my creative Elizabeth? Elizabeth is Scottish, but she lives in Mallorca. And so, you know, that's a really interesting dynamic, isn't it? And that's what she's quite excited to start making her work about. You know, somebody who wasn't actually born in Mallorca, who is an outsider technically, but lives on the island and is fascinated with the you know, the wildlife that's there, the flora, the fauna, and all that kind of stuff. So, you know, that that is becoming her interest. That's becoming the area that she wants to investigate with her work. So I would ask you, you know, what is it that you're making the work about? What is it that you want to investigate? And then choose two materials which I you think support that um, you know, those ideas. What two materials do you think would work best with the with the drawings that you're making at the moment? And then make a small series. So I want you to hone in, focus, and make a small series of work about with those materials about that subject matter. Because I think by the end of that series, what you'll have done, you'd you'll have learned far more about far more about what suits you, rather than constantly starting again with some new material. Okay, so again, I'm I'm asking you to to hone in, to be selective, and to focus, and then evaluate from there. Okay. Hope that's helpful. Hope that's helpful. Okay, moving on. What time are we at? Well, I think we're doing well. We're doing well. I've no idea how long these take. They normally take they're normally taking around half an hour, which is which is a nice time, I think. Okay, moving on to Jane. So Jane is one of my long-term creatives. It's lovely to see Jane appear on the uh with with one of her dilemmas. And Jane writes that over the past couple of years, she has made some excellent work that she feels really proud of. And I'm very proud of her of her as well, just to put that in there. Um, she feels that, well, I know that she's been consistent. She's turned up to her practice, making work regularly, and she's even begun selling some of it. But now a new fear has crept in. She feels as though she might have peaked and that perhaps her best work is already behind her. She worries that she might never make anything as strong again. So her question is. How do you move forward when you're worried that your best the best work you've ever made might already be done? Ooh, it's a good one, Jane. I love this one. So thank you for sending this one in. So I think what Jane is describing is actually a really common moment in a creative life. It's when we first beginning, when we first begin making work, there's a sense of freedom, isn't it? We're experimenting, we're discovering things a bit like Siobhan and Catherine, and we're allowing ourselves to kind of follow our curiosity. And then there'll be there will be a time when a piece of work sort of really lands, and you feel proud of it, other people respond to it, and and then something changes, I think. It's a bit like the voice in the head starts to say, Can I do that again? What happens if I can't make that again? What what happens if I never reach that level again? And and and I've got to be totally transparent here. This is something that I worried about with with Lino Cut and Sketch. You know, my my Lino Cut book came out, it was phenomenal, it has been phenomenally successful. Totally caught me off guard. I never knew in my wildest dreams it would be as successful as it has been. And then I started thinking, oh God, I've got to write the second book. What if what if I'm incapable of writing another book? You know, what if I mean I think they call it the sophomore novel, isn't it? It's like the second book that comes out. And I had all of these worries, Jane. So I did I really hear you with this. But I think in in many ways it's I think we have to kind of re-evaluate how we look at our creative life. Because I don't think artists climb the hill and they reach a peak and then they suddenly go downhill. I think creativity is more like a landscape, isn't it? You know, there's peaks and troughs, there's kind of, you know, there's periods where things feel strong and clear, there's periods where it's a bit muddy, there's periods where it's sunny, there's periods when it's cloudy. It's more like a landscape rather than a hill that you go up and down. And I think the thing is what's happening also is that suddenly it's it's moved from experimentation and freedom, and suddenly there becomes the realization that you really care about your work and that you've you've you've you've moved into that stage where your art and your practice really matters to you, and that's I think where the the worry and the expectation comes along with the joy as well. So I think these these quieter periods, they're not failure, they're they're just it's when I talk about the quieter periods, when I'm talking about a landscape and I'm talking about sort of areas of time areas of the landscape where things go quiet and things kind of are percolating, that doesn't mean that things aren't happening still in the background. And that doesn't mean to say that great things can't happen again. It just means that you're in a different stage. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that oft, you know, with with Jane, it's kind of like when when things go a bit quiet and things things don't seem to be evolving as much. There is that slight panic of like, God, maybe I've lost it. Maybe I've lost it. I mean, I I worry about that with my with my lino cutting. I mean, I have done very little lino cutting over the past few months because I've just been so busy doing other things. It's like, what if I can't carve again? What if I've just totally lost the ability to carve something? Which is silly because you know, we have muscles, we have creative muscles that you know we build up. Um so anyway, so what I'm going back to is that I think Jane has reached this point where the work really matters, and that can feel both exciting and frightening at the same time because it's moved from this little thing that she's playing around with, having, you know, experimenting, nobody's noticing, and then suddenly people notice, they're taking note. She's feeling more confident, she wants to share her work with other people, she's getting lots of affirmation back, she's getting some sales, and then suddenly it's like, oh god, I've got to perform here, I've got to actually do something with this. So let's look at the practical layer. So I want to acknowledge something important, and Jane says that she's made excellent work, and I think that's incredibly valid, and that's it's it's great to feel proud of that. When a piece resonates, that's a wonderful moment in a creative life. However, again, I'm gonna be I'm gonna kind of gently pull back on this a bit and talk about how we talk about our work and how we rank our work. Because if we start putting labels on, well, that's a good piece, that's a great piece, that piece is terrible, that piece is a bad piece, then I think it's really difficult because it almost sets the precedent, doesn't it? And it it can quietly freeze us if we suddenly start thinking, well, that's a cracking piece of work. I'm never gonna do that again. And I think again, I'm gonna keep keep coming back to this idea that creative practice isn't doesn't follow a neat trajectory where you know every every piece of work that you do is gonna be better than the rest. It it enfolds over time with with sort of so many different kinds of work. You know, some pieces feel strong and resolved, some pieces just are exploratory, some pieces are simply steps that lead somewhere else. So I think instead of thinking to yourself, Jane, and I think this is what I wrote here, instead of asking, will I make something that excellent again? I think a more helpful question would be, what was I doing when that work appeared? Now this might sound a bit vague, but I'm gonna kind of explain it a bit better. So, what was I doing when that work appeared? Was I in the middle of a really intensive period of turning up to the studio and making work every day? You know, were you exploring an idea across several pieces? You know, were you giving yourself permission to experiment and play around with? Because I think that this is the important thing to say here is that excellent work doesn't appear by accident, it's it came out of a process. So it's a bit like at the end of the day. I mean, I remember this when I used to go painting outside with a royal drawing school. You know, you'd go there, you'd be painting outside in the landscape every day on planet, and you'd be painting, painting, painting, painting, and then very often you know you're clearing up your easel and all your paint, and then the last painting that you do with a little bit of extra paint that you've got left because you don't want to ruin, you don't want to you know waste the paint, you would do a quick painting, and actually that painting would be the thing that you're most proud of, and actually you feel like the painting was sort of works the works more than any of the others. So I I think the thing is it's it it always comes out of a process, it doesn't come out of nowhere. So I think if you start to understand where the context of where that work has come from, then it will give you a I think a clearer idea of how a creative practice develops, and I think that will give you the security to think, ah, okay, that helped that happened like that, and that can happen again. It's just setting up the right conditions. So I think that okay. I wrote here the aim is to keep the practice alive so new work has the chance to emerge. So I think rather than freezing, you've got to keep on going. So feeling like so, feeling like you've peaked isn't really about the work itself. It's about the moment you realise the work matters to you, that you care deeply about what it is that you're making. And I know because I've sort of witnessed this with you, Jane. I've seen this happen, I've seen you know, you move from one thing to another, and I can I've you know, I've been I've witnessed those moments where you've had those light bulbs, and it's like, oh my goodness, this is all coming together. And I've spoken about Jane before, and I and and I will I'm gonna I am gonna you know what I'm gonna I'm gonna indulge you all with the story again because I think it's such an an amazing story, and I want to tell the podcast listeners about the story, Jane, if you don't mind me sharing. So, Jane last year walked the Santiago de la Compostela, I think that's how you call it, the pilgrimage in Spain, and Jane has been working with me for the past two or three years, and you know, we've been turning up regularly, we've been having every sessions every three weeks, and you know, Jane has been committing to her practice. However, there was a hesitancy, and there has been a hesitancy for Jane to call herself an artist, to identify as an artist. And it's something that we talked about. Anyway, Jane went on this walk last year, and it's a long walk. I think it took about six weeks, and halfway through the walk, she she was taking a break and she sat down next to um somebody who was drawing, and they had a chat. It was uh a young woman, and they had a chat, and and um, you know, the the woman was drawing and Jane and they had a conversation, and and the lady said to her, you know, what do you do? And Jane said, I do art. I do art. Okay, she wasn't quite comfortable at that point to say that she's an artist. Anyway, three weeks later, they reach the end of the Santiago deco. I'm probably saying this wrong, but you know where I mean, you know, in Spain that the pilgrimage walk. And anyway, they reach the end, and Jane has to fill in a form to say what she who she is, where she comes from, what she does, what's her occupation, because then you get a certificate saying that you completed the walk. And Jane wrote at the end of this walk, an artist. I am an artist. And when Jane told me that in our session, I was so moved. I was so and I've shared that on Instagram before, and Jane's given me permission to share it, so I'm not breaking any kind of confidential confidentiality um agreement here, but that is such a powerful point in Jane's life, I think. And I think this is all reflected in this dilemma that she's sending through. So amazing. Okay, I've shared that. I've probably gone on for I'm probably this podcast is probably going on for much longer than normal. Anyway, um the I just want to say the pieces didn't appear just because you forced them, they appeared because you kept on making. So your homework, Jane, and amongst all the homework that I normally set you, is I'd like you to try two small things. So I want you to make three new pieces that deliberately treat that you deliberately treat as explorations rather than the finished statement. Okay. Their job isn't to be excellent, their job is to simply push your ideas a little bit further. And secondly, I want you to take a moment to write down what led to the work that you feel proud of. Not the finished piece, but the conditions around it. Again, being mindful of when you made that piece that you are really proud of and that the piece that you think is excellent, what led to that? What were the conditions in your life at that point? I think because I think the more information will give you more clarity of how the creative process works. So, how often were you working? What ideas were you exploring about, were you exploring? What were you looking at or thinking about at the time? And then again, the work that you the work that you're proud of didn't come from a peak, it came from practice. And that's it. It doesn't just appear and then disappear, it will keep on going. You've just got to keep on feeding it and letting it evolve and be curious as to the way it's gonna go. Okay, guys, I think that's been going on for quite a while. So well done if you've managed to stick to the end. Marple's absolutely bored out of her brain. She's she's very snoozy, aren't you, Mum? Say you're a good girl. She's so pretty. Look at her. Those of you on YouTube, just look at how pretty she is. Just look at how pretty she is. Well, she's a gorgeous girl. Yes, it is. All right, my lovely friends. Well, I hope you've enjoyed this rather extended long podcast. Always lovely to chat to you. Um, do send your dilemmas in to the Creative Pod uh the Creative Couchpod at gmail.com. I look forward to seeing seeing them appear in my inbox while I'm away in Japan. And uh yeah, thank you for listening. Do like, review, rate, or whatever you need to do. And uh, I look forward to seeing you all again next week. Oh dear, I always say this at the end Am I recording? I am recording. I'm gonna pause the recording.