Episode 6: Drawing in Public, Getting Started and Taking Yourself Seriously

In this episode of The Creative Couch, I respond to three thoughtful creative dilemmas from Julie, Caroline and Kerry – exploring how to handle being watched while drawing in public, how to get started when you suddenly have all the equipment, and how to stop postponing taking yourself seriously as an artist.

Julie has recently started drawing outside and quickly discovered something many sketchers experience. As soon as you sit down with a sketchbook in public, people become curious. They stop, they look, and they ask what you’re drawing. She noticed that in those moments she instinctively starts apologising for her work, even though she thought she felt quite confident. Why does drawing in public feel so vulnerable, and how do you handle those interactions without undermining yourself?

Caroline has been given a Hawthorn printing press. She’s done lino workshops in the past and has plenty of ideas saved, but now that the press is sitting in her studio she feels overwhelmed and unsure where to begin. How do you move past that feeling of “all the gear and no idea” and actually start enjoying the process of making again?

Kerry describes something many creatives quietly carry. From the outside, it looks as though she already has a creative practice. She makes work regularly, she thinks about it constantly, and it matters deeply to her. But internally she feels as though she hasn’t quite arrived yet, telling herself she’ll take her work seriously once she’s more organised, more skilled, more consistent. How do you stop postponing your creative life and begin inhabiting it now?

In this episode, I explore:

• Why drawing in public can feel vulnerable, and how to handle being watched
 • Letting go of apologising for your work and building quiet confidence
 • How to get started when you have the tools but feel overwhelmed
 • The importance of play and experimentation in printmaking
 • Why creative identity is built through action, not arrival

Each dilemma is explored with both emotional insight and practical steps you can try in your own creative life.

If you have a creative dilemma you’d like me to explore, please email me at:

thecreativecouchpod@gmail.com

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome to the Creative Couch. I'm Sam Marshall, artist and creative coach. This is a podcast about creativity, confidence, and living a creative life. Hello and welcome to the Creative Couch podcast. This, I believe, is the sixth episode. So I've just recorded, this will be my third episode in a few days. So I'm kind of batch recording them because when this one comes out, I will be in Japan. It will be the second week of my trip to Japan. Second week of my sixth trip to Japan. So those of you who follow me on my stories will most probably be watching along with me. Uh carrying uh you'll be watching my stories, following me in Japan, and hopefully by then I will have uploaded some YouTube videos as well. I've got all new kit, I've got all new cameras and stuff to take with me. I don't make it easy for myself, I really don't. Um so yeah, so it's Monday, Tuesday evening. I'm flying out tomorrow at 6:30. Uh, I've just had an incredibly busy few days with Super Seconds. Um I've had so many orders. My wonderful assistant Rose and I have been packing orders the past three or four days. We've managed to get them all done, which is just astonishing. Um, so thank you to Rose and thank you to everybody who's bought print from me on in Super Seconds. It really means the world. So interesting to see what prints you guys have ordered. Um, yeah, very touched again. Thank you for that. And thank you for all these podcast dilemmas that keep coming in. Always such a joy to uh get a new notification that I've got a new dilemma to uh get my teeth stuck into. So, as always, um how this will go is that I will read the dilemma, I will unpack it from an emotional point of view, we'll look at the practical uh layer and then I'll summarise it again and then I'll give um the person who's writing a bit of homework. Um and if you've got any of your uh if you've got any dilemmas, then do send them in to the creative couchpod at gmail.com and I will get round to answering them as and when I can. So today's episode, Marple's here, as always. No, she's 13 tomorrow. So tomorrow is March the 11th, and Marple is 13. This little beauty has been in the world for 13 years tomorrow. Wish she could be in the world for another 13 years. Anyway, let's let's not let's not dwell on that. I'll get I'll get too upset and I won't be able to carry on. Right, so today's dilemmas are um have come in from Julie. Julius Julie sent in a couple, but I'm just gonna answer one today. Uh also we have Caroline and we have Kerry. So I'm going to uh get stuck into these and um hopefully uh help a few of you along the way because I know that often with these podcasts, what's wonderful is I'm getting a lot of feedback from you guys saying, oh, that dilemma really resonated with me today. You know, there's there's something about what you said there really hit home for me. So, you know, a lot of these dilemmas are really universal. So I'm I'm really hoping that they are uh helping you guys out and not just the person who wrote in. Okay, so this dilemma comes from Julie. Julie has started drawing outside and discovered something that every sketcher experiences at some point. As soon as you sit down with a sketchbook in public, people become curious. They stop, they look over your shoulder and they ask you what you're doing. So Julie's noticed that when this happens, she immediately starts apologising for her work, saying things like, Oh, it's not very good, or I'm just learning. And even though she thought she felt quite confident, she being watched, she said it made her feel like her 12-year-old self again. So, in essence, I think what Julie is asking here is how do you deal with that moment when strangers start looking at your work? Right. So, first of all, Julie, this is completely normal. Um, you know, drawing is a vulnerable activity. Um, when somebody looks over your sketchbook, it feels as if they're judging you and your work. Um, and it can feel very exposing. Um, and I'm gonna touch on my book, Sketch, because Sketch, I deliberately wrote sketch so that when you go outside and you draw, you hopefully will feel more confident. But I'm gonna touch upon that in the practical layer. But I think we all carry memories, don't we, of being judged as a young child. Um, you know, and I think those those feelings can really resurface when we're in a when we're in a position of feeling vulnerable and being looked at and being judged. Um, and I think what you probably really need to remember here is that most people who are looking at your work, Julie, aren't judging you. They're just curious. I think drawing in public, when somebody sees somebody drawing in public, they're curious. They want to see what's happening, they want to see what you're drawing. They're not, I don't think they're wanting to come over there and say something horrible to you. I mean, in all my years of drawing outside, I've never had anybody say anything derogatory, apart from I've had a few men come along and say, um, oh, is this your hobby? Which makes me want to, you know, well, you you can you can imagine what it makes me want to do. Um, but I think people are just genuinely curious, and often they're just thinking, oh, I wish I could do that. I wish I had the courage to do that. So I think you're, I mean, you're the person who's taken their sketchbook out into the world and started drawing. And I often say, you know, I often say, Well, where's your sketchbook? I mean, I don't say that to them, but you know, that's the thing, that's how that's how you should feel. You know, you're the person out there doing it. You're out there doing it. You're you're you're out sitting out in the world, making a memory of you know what you're seeing in front of um in front of you. I mean, what I'd really like you to do here, Julie, is stop apologizing. Stop apologizing for doing your work. Because as soon as you start saying things like, it's not very good, I'm just learning, you're actually undermining yourself in that moment. And there's nothing to apologize for here. You're just somebody who's out there drawing. So I think because I think that's what happens when you suddenly start apologizing, you make yourself smaller, and then you therefore you close up, and then you start thinking, God, God, why did I say that? Why did I and then suddenly the voice takes over, and before you know it, you've lost interest in drawing. You just want to go home and I don't know, shove your face in a cake. Um, you know. So I think the the more the more you do this though, Julie, the more normal it will become. At first it'll feel uncomfortable, and then it feels manageable, and then it's just like water off a duck's back, like it is to me. I don't even think about it. I can go and sit anywhere and draw. I I don't give a toss. I just don't care. It for me, I'm you know, I'm I'm just enjoying my time. But I think in pro in terms of practicalities, and this is something that I talk about a lot in Sketch, the book is designed for you to follow it chapter by chapter, so that you spend time with your drawing in a safe space, so you spend time in the house drawing, you spend time outside of your house drawing, in places that are safe, where you can take your drawing kit outside, maybe draw in your garden, and you can get used to drawing outside in the element, and then you go slightly further, just a little bit further down the road, and then you try and draw there. And you so you so by the time that you do go out into public and your drawing, you've got a little bit more resilience already. You've already got a little bit of grit behind you. And again, I will always say this you start small, so you don't start by going to sit in a busy cafe drawing, you don't start by going to sit in a marketplace when there's loads of people around. You just gently progress. And I think you can make things easier for yourself. You know, sit by a wall so people can't peek peek over the back of you. Um, sit where you're slightly tucked away, put headphones on, go with a friend, have somebody next to you. Um have a small sketchbook that you can kind of hold up. I mean, I have my sketchbook's tiny. I mean, I know I hold it, I hold it from a distance because that's how I draw, but you know, you could have a little small sketchbook that you're sort of tucked away. Um, but all of these things, all of these strategies are great and I think they're really helpful. However, there will be a time when somebody does come over to you and just kind of stand there and you can feel their presence, and then you sort of, you know, sometimes you could you could if you want, and sometimes I do that. If I'm not in the mood to talk, I will just gently close my sketchbook and then I'll just rifle around in my bag. So that has signalled that I don't want to talk. The sketchbook is closed, and I just do that, and then they just disappear. So that is one strategy. Close your sketchbook, start looking around in your bag, then they just disappear. But if somebody does come in and talk to you and you don't feel like engaging, you could just say something like, I'm doing a quick sketch, I'm practicing my drawing, I'm keeping my I'm keeping a sketchbook, but don't apologize. Don't say, Oh, I'm just beginning, oh, it's not very good, or oh, I don't know what I'm doing, all of that kind of stuff, because I think that will undermine you and that'll make you feel terrible. So don't try not to do that. But if you don't want to be pulled into a long conversation, you could just say something like, Oh, I'm just trying to finish this before the light changes, or I've only got a few minutes to finish this. So you kind of gently closing the conversation down before it's even begun. Or another strategy that I use, in case I don't want to talk about my work, I don't want to talk, I don't really want to talk about myself, I just start asking them about themselves. So I just say, Oh, you know, do you do you come here often? You know, one of those things where you you you divert the attention from you onto them, and then that's fine. They don't have to talk about your work then. So there's lots of different strategies there, but the most important thing is that you carry on drawing and you make it as simple as you can, and you enable yourself to keep on doing it, and the more you do it, the more confidence you build up. Okay, so choose easy places to draw, keep your responses simple, and most importantly, do not apologize for your work. People are just curious and nosy. Okay, so a bit of homework, Julie, a bit of homework for you. Choose somewhere fairly quiet, give yourself just 20 minutes to do a sketch, okay? Sit somewhere slightly tucked away and just focus on your drawing. And if somebody comes over and asks you what you're doing, or you know, just practice giving one simple response. Oh, I'm just doing a quick sketch, I've just got five minutes to finish this sketch off, and then go straight back to the page. Um, and then take a moment to reflect. You know, did anybody actually criticize your drawing? Did anybody just say anything nasty? Do they say, Oh, my 12-year-old son could do better than that? Most probably not. I mean, if they did, then I mean, come on, we need to talk about it, Julie. You need to get in contact with me, and I give them, give them, uh, you give them my address. Is that right? No. Anyway, you know what I mean. Um, I just think we'll keep repeating that, and before you know it, you'll get more confident. But the most important thing I think is don't apologise, because you're the one out there with your sketchbook, you're the one out there doing the work. And go back to sketch. I know that Julie's a wonderful follower of mine, and I know she's got my book. She's a regular member of the sketch club. I know Julie's got my book. Go back to my book, Julie. Go back, you know, build your confidence up slowly. And if you're not ready to go out there and draw in public yet, just take it, take it down a notch, take it down a notch again, and then go back out when you feel more confident. Well, thank you for that dynamic, Julie. Always a always a treat to hear from you. Okay, moving on. Caroline. So Caroline has very kindly been given a Hawthorne etching press. She's done a few liner cut workshops in the past, uh, including one of mine during COVID. Thank you for that, Caroline. But now the press is sitting in her studio and she feels a bit overwhelmed. She's got lots of ideas saved from Instagram, but whenever whenever she thinks about actually starting a liner cut, she freezes. So the dilemma is this. I'm just making sure I'm recording. Yes, I am recording. Um, dilemma is this. When you suddenly have all the equipment, how do you move past that feeling of all the gear and no idea? And actually start enjoying the process. Um, well, number one, that's amazing. So Caroline sent me a picture of a hawthorn press. Um, hawthorne presses are similar to iron bridge presses, like I've got, they're etching presses. Um, they're beautiful presses. Um, at the moment, Caroline looks like she's got her press set up for etching. So it's got the blankets on it, it looks beautiful. She's got some kind of branch on top of it. It looks lovely. But I can imagine if you're not used to using those presses, it feels really intimidating. Okay, so I think that is the elephant in the room at the moment is this new press that you've been given that looks a bit intimidating. So, my first practical suggestion for you, really. Well, let's just talk about the emotional layer for a start, and then I'm going to come to the practical layer. So, I think what's happening here is that suddenly Caroline's got all these equipment which makes everything feel much more serious. And I think that the pressure from this is actually making things exacerbating things for you, Caroline. Already you feel a bit overwhelmed with your lino-cut ideas, and now you've got this beautiful press in the corner saying, use me, use me, do something beautiful on me. And it's a bit like you just want to run away. And it actually would be easier if all you had was a wooden spoon, because then the pressure's off, isn't it? Um I think also another thing that's getting in your way is Instagram. You're scrolling too much, you're saving too many ideas, you're getting so overwhelmed with lots of different possibilities. You know, you're looking at everybody's highlight reel, everybody's perfect prints. Nobody posts their shit prints on Instagram. Sorry, I shouldn't swear, but you know. Um actually, I think that's the first time I've sworn on this on the podcast. So let's just mark that. Let's not make that. I can swear a bit, so let's try and make it a PG zone. Um but I think this is the thing, isn't it? You printing is messy, printing is is experimental. You learn by doing slightly wonky things and trying again. So the goal here isn't at all to make a great lino cut at the moment. The goal here is to learn how to use the press and do a do a small lino cut. So this goes straight into the practical layer. You've got to get to know your press. You've got to give it a name, you've got to say to it, look, we've we're gonna have a we're we're gonna have a rocky ride to begin with. You're gonna you're gonna have lots of you're gonna have lots of moments when you're swearing at that press, believe you me. Because you need to get to know that press. You need to get to know how it works, you need to get to know the pressure, you need to get the etching blankets off and put some runners down the side. So if you don't know what runners are, you know, um, there's loads of YouTube videos. Look at Jenny's amazing book that's come out, Jenny's new um Jenny uh from Ironbridge, her amazing book that's been published by Bloomsbury. It's a printmaking Bible which will tell you everything about runners, all that kind of stuff. You need to get some runners down the side, you need to get it all set up for lino, you need to add some packing, you need to experiment. And I'm sure the guys at Hawthorne are going to be really helpful as well. So look at YouTube, look at videos, get your lino, get your press set up, and just experiment with all bits of lino that you've got kicking around. You don't need to make any new linos for this. I just want you to get familiar with the press and how the press works. Okay, that's your first job. Um, just have some fun with it. Just have some fun. You your first results will be disastrous. I can absolutely guarantee until you get to know that press, you it's going to be messy. But but just treat it as fun. There's no pressure here. I just want you to get to know that press. Um, and then it comes down to your ideas. So I think what you need to do here is again, let's keep it really simple. Let's start with a really small A6 lino cut. You know, get yourself some Japanese vinyl or some some traditional vinyl. And instead of looking for Instagram for ideas, I want you to go to your sketchbook. I want you to look at your drawings. Now, you you guys will probably know this by now. I'm always going to start with a drawing. I'm not going to ask you to print off something from the internet, put it on your lino and trace it. I want you to work from your drawing because that's where you will build up your confidence and that's where you'll find your style by looking at your drawing and translating your drawings, your drawings onto Lino cut. Not anybody else's drawings, not anybody else's lino cut, translating your drawings onto Lino cut. So I would just choose a really simple drawing, and then what I want you to do is to simplify that drawing into just black and white shapes. Okay, so you simplify it down, you make it extremely graphic, really clear, so that you know what areas are you're going to leave black, so the areas that are uncarved and what you're going to carve out. Okay, so you're keeping it really, really simple, and then trace that onto your lino, and then all you need to do is carve out those white areas. Okay. I just want you to get used to using your tools, just get used to what's what you're carving and what you're leaving, and just build up your confidence slowly with small lino cuts, small shapes, small designs, really simple, but your drawings, okay? Your drawings. I think that's the important thing to emphasize. Um, and then have a go at printing it. Have a go at printing it. Perfect alchemy. You've got your you've got your own lino cut, you've got your own press, and let's just see what happens. But start small, get away from those images on Instagram. Try not to look at Instagram for inspiration because you're going to get overwhelmed. You're going to get, you know, these beautiful prints, these amazing presses, you're going to get everybody's highlight reel, and you're going to feel really overwhelmed. Go back to your sketchbook. You might just have a really simple drawing of a flower that you could just really simplify into black and white, transfer that to Linercut, carve it and print it, build it up slowly. Okay, but I think the elephant in the room here is the press and your saved memories from Instagram. I think that's those two things that are just adding. They're like standing there looking at you, you know. Come on then, let's get going, let's do something amazing. Let's just start printing. Right. So your homework, Caroline, is really simple. It is to make one postcard size lino cut for one of your drawings and then print it at least five times on your press. And you're not doing it for Instagram, you're not doing it for perfection, you're just doing it for you, and you're just doing it to begin. Hope that's helpful. Thanks for that one. Great one. Uh right, Kerry. So the Kerries is yeah, Kerries is a lovely, sort of subtle one that really got me thinking. And I hope I've hope I can answer it in the best way. So Kerry writes about a feeling that I think quite a lot of us creatives carry. From the outside, it looks like she already has a creative practice. She makes work regularly, she thinks about it constantly, and it matters deeply to her. But she said that internally she feels that she hasn't quite arrived yet. She keeps telling herself that once she's more organized, more skilled, more consistent, more focused, then she'll fulfill she'll finally allow herself to take her work more seriously. So her question, I think, is this. So basically, what I do is I I look at the dilemmas and I read them and then I try and summarise them so I can explain it more clearly to you guys. So I think what Kerry's asking here is how do you stop postponing your creative life and begin inhabiting it now properly? So rather than saying, it's a bit like saying, Oh, well, I'm not gonna buy those clothes until I've lost two stone, something like that. You know, why not buy the clothes now in a bigger size and start wearing them and enjoying them? It's a bit like that, isn't it? It's like, well, I'm not gonna call myself an artist until I have. And I wonder whether within this, and actually maybe Kerry hasn't said it, is there's something around maybe selling work and maybe exhibiting work as well, because I think that a lot of people use that as a marker. It's like, well, I've sold a piece of work, then I can call myself an artist. Or I've um, you know, I've I've I've got into an exhibition uh and I've got my name in a catalogue, therefore I can call myself an artist. So we use all these different markers for us to feel like we've had a tick against our name and therefore we're valid. Okay. So I think that maybe that could be in the mix here. Uh, and I think it's really common. So I think, but I think what's really important is to say, I don't think that moment ever really arrives, Kerry. I don't think that moment is ever really there when you think, you know what? I'm here, I'm the artist I want to be, I've got it all figured out. I know my style, I know, I know everything about myself, I have arrived, and from this moment on, I'm just gonna keep on doing what I do. Because we are always changing, evolving, and hopefully our work is evolving. Our work is metamorphosizing. Is that the word? You know what I mean? Um, but I think to me, what really stands out clearly is that I think you're already doing it. I think you've got the foundations of a creative life. It sounds to me as if you're living a creative life, but it's almost like you're waiting for something to click for you to accept it and for you to accept yourself as an artist. Because I think I think it within all this is can I call myself an artist, really? Um, and I think it's simply recognizing the fact of where you are now, because everything that you tell me on your email, Carrie, points to the fact that you're already there. You're already, you know, not when I say you're already there, because I've just sort of said that you never really arrived, but you do you know what I mean? You you're already living this life that tells me that you are an artist, you are a creative, you are fully engaged with your creativity. Um, but I do think it's important that you don't it doesn't suddenly happen overnight. You just keep turning up and it just keeps evolving. And I think it's the confidence thing, isn't it? It's the confidence thing. I think yours is about confidence, you know. I mean, I don't really know that many artists who are really, really super organized. I mean, I might look like I'm organized, I kind of am organized, but sometimes it is a bit like I am winging it a lot. So, you know, we have creative brains, we we we we work in different ways. So, and I think maybe again you're comparing yourself to people that you see on Instagram, and you know, um, everything's what everybody's Got it all figured out when actually we haven't. A lot of us are just winning it and we are just thinking, ah the hell I've sworn twice now, and I dear, I can tell I'm tired. Um I think I you know, I think the seriousness doesn't come. I wrote this down. The seriousness doesn't the seriousness doesn't come after everything is perfect, it comes from committing to the work as it is now. And I wrote that down, and I think that makes a lot of sense. You know, it's not about when, it's about now. So you're doing it now. Um, and I think if you consistently make work and you consistently return to it again and again, then the identif that your identity as an artist grows around though goes around those habits, without a doubt. Um and I sort of sort of wonder whether there is that that sort of you're waiting for that dramatic moment where it's like suddenly it's like here I am, here I am, I have arrived. And it doesn't, it just doesn't happen like that. It just builds up slowly, slowly but surely. And I think it's already there. I think it's already there. So I think here we are. I think the summary is sometimes the real shift is giving yourself permission to stand inside the life that you're already building. So it's just accepting where you are and allowing yourself to fully embrace yourself as an artist, as a creative. I think that sounds a bit waffly, but I think you, I think you I think you might have got the idea with this, Kerry. So I'm going to give you small a couple of things to try this week. Number one, I want you to write out a sentence that begins with, my creative practice currently looks like this. Now I gave this um uh this uh this homework to one of my creatives the other week, and it was very interesting her response. I want you to just go with it, just start with that sentence and just talk to me about what your creative practice looks like, and just be really, really honest. And then choose one moment in the week where you deliberately treat your work as real. So that might mean sitting outside, sitting aside an hour to make something, finishing a piece or sharing in the work. Just one small thing that says to you that you're this matters, and I'm already doing it. Because what I'm asking you to do there is recognize when you are living that life. Recognize when you are doing the thing that you want to be doing. Because I think that's the important thing. Because I don't think you're actually recognizing those things. I think that you're you're you're seeing yourself as a bit of a sort of a uh, you know, your approach is a bit scattergun, but actually I I don't, I by the sounds of it, I don't think it is. So I hope that's helpful, Kerry, because that was a sort of a it's a sort of quite a nuanced one, but I but I'm hoping that I've given you some some things to think about there because to me I think it's not just a matter of when, I think it's now and just accepting it and saying, you know what, I deserve this, I am this, I'm living this life, and this is my life. What do you think to that? Right, my lovelies. Listen, I best dash off. So thank you again for turning up and listening to The Creative Couch. Who knows where I'll be when this comes out? Um, but I'm gonna check out now because I've got two more minutes to before the online check-in opens for my flight tomorrow, because I've got a really dud seat, and I'm hoping, because I think this happens with Japan Airlines and that they release more seats 24 hours before check-in. So I'm really hoping that when I go online tonight, I do not change from a middle seat, which is like my absolute my my absolute idea of hell, to an aisle seat. I just want an aisle seat. I want to be able to get up, go to the toilet, stretch my legs. I don't want a middle seat. I mean, I'd rather have a window seat than a middle seat. I mean, I've really messed up here. But I'm hoping, I'm hoping when I click that magic button. All right, loves, listen, send your dilemmas in. We're here, we're ready to listen, ready to help you out. Send your dilemmas in to the creative couchpod at gmail.com. And thank you again for turning up, listening to me waffle on. I'm a bit tired, I'm a bit spaced out, but it's all good fun. It's all good fun. And as always, I have to question whether I am recording it. I am recording it, it's all good. I will see you all soon.