Episode 14: Framing Anxiety, Comparison & Blank Sketchbooks

In this episode of The Creative Couch, I respond to three thoughtful creative dilemmas from Barbara, Mimi and Juilette – exploring framing and exhibitions, comparison and creative growth, and the pressure we place on ourselves through sketchbooks.

Barbara has started selling her paintings and is now thinking more seriously about exhibitions and presenting her work professionally. But framing has suddenly become a confusing world full of hidden rules and standards she doesn’t fully understand. From hanging systems and ready-made frames to worries about whether her work looks “professional enough”, she finds herself second-guessing every decision. How do you know what’s good enough when it comes to framing, and how do you stop presentation anxiety from undermining your confidence as an artist?

Mimi has been painting watercolours for more than 35 years and has built a successful practice creating detailed miniature works that have sold well and received awards. But after immersing herself in classes, webinars, podcasts and online inspiration, she’s finding herself overwhelmed by comparison and increasingly disconnected from her own voice. At the same time, she’s trying to work larger and looser, but feels clumsy and discouraged every time she attempts it. Should she stay with the style she already excels at, or keep pushing herself into unfamiliar territory in the hope that something new might emerge?

Juilette loves the idea of keeping travel sketchbooks and carefully packs beautiful drawing materials every time she goes away. But when she actually arrives, she freezes. Between perfectionism, pressure to make “good” drawings, and struggling to claim time for herself while travelling with her husband, she often comes home with a blank sketchbook and a heavy sense of disappointment. How do you build a genuine sketchbook habit without turning drawing into another thing to get right?

In this episode, I explore:

• Why comparison often increases when we consume too much creative input
• The difference between growth and proof of failure
• Why awkwardness is often a sign of expansion in your practice
• How framing can become emotionally tied to legitimacy and professionalism
• Why simple presentation is often enough for exhibitions and sales
• The pressure sketchbooks can quietly carry
• How perfectionism stops us from noticing small meaningful moments
• Why creativity often begins to flow again when we lower the stakes

Each dilemma is explored with both emotional insight and practical steps you can try in your own creative life.

If you have a creative dilemma you’d like me to explore, please email me at:

thecreativecouchpod@gmail.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome to the Creative Couch. I'm some martial artist and creative coach. This is a podcast for anyone navigating the ups and downs of a creative life. Each week I respond to three real creative dilemmas sent in by listeners, exploring both the emotional side of what you're experiencing and some practical ways to move forward. And from time to time I'll also be joined by other artists to talk about their creative life, their practice, their challenges, and what keeps them going. Hello and welcome back to the Creative Couch. How are you all doing? So it's Monday, it's a very miserable Monday here in May. I don't know where the spring has gone. But anyway, I'm looking forward to going away next week. I'm running a um printmaking and drawing retreat in Tuscany. So I'll be away next week. I'll be in the warm, I'll be in the sunshine. Marpa will be with her dad in London, and my mum's coming with me actually this month. Um, sorry, this time. So mum's coming uh on the retreat. Uh she's going to be drawing, and it's going to be very exciting. I can't wait. So um, yeah, so I'll pre-record uh another podcast for you at the end of the week. So there won't be a week without a pod, don't worry. Um, but thank you to everybody who sent in lovely messages uh regarding my lovely chat with the wonderful Laura. What a joy! What a joy, Laura, is. Uh, we met up again on last Wednesday. We went to see the UNU Glow exhibition at uh the MK Gallery in Milton Keynes. I'm busy putting together a little uh video as well. I recorded a little video of uh of the trip, so uh I'll pop that on my YouTube channel when I get round to it. It's very busy here, it's very busy. Um, I've just had my hour-long Japanese lesson. We did some preparations for the Japanese uh exam that I'll be taking at the end of the year. Um yeah, let's just say I've got a lot, I've got a lot of work to do. I've got a lot of work to do. Anyway, um, yes, so thank you to everybody who sent in a dilemma. I am running short of dilemmas, it's got to be said. I need more dilemmas. Please send in your creative dilemmas to the creative couch pod at gmail.com. Don't email me, my normal email, email the pod so then I can keep them all in one place. But do keep them coming because I'm really uh running short and I want to keep this podcast going. So, anyway, um send them in and I will endeavour to answer them. And today I'm continuing with the new segment, which is loving lately, and I'm going to tell you about a book that I've been loving lately. So, as many of you know, over the past few weeks I've had a few difficult conversations with one of my neighbours, and it comes on the back of quite a difficult few months, lots of different things going on in my life. And I reached a point a few weeks ago where I just I'd had enough, and I just wrote this post on a Saturday on my Instagram, and I just sort of said, you know what? I've all I can do today is just small, simple things because my head is fizzing, I'm overwhelmed, and I just feel like everything's a bit much. And I got some lovely responses, and one lovely person, now I can't remember who it was, said something, said something to the effect of, I'm reading this book at the moment, I think you'll enjoy it. And I it immediately piqued my interest because I love the author, and the author is Alain de Botin. So he is a um, he's an English, I would call him her uh a philosopher. He's an amazing man who I had the privilege of meeting many years ago. Um, I went to Edinburgh and he was signing a doing a book signing, and I met him and he signed my book. Anyway, I love his work, I love his books, and but I hadn't heard about this new book called The Therapeutic Journey, a therapeutic journey. And uh this person on Instagram said, Oh, I'm reading this book, and I was like, Oh my goodness, I'd better get this book. This book sounds great. So I downloaded it, I listened to it on um on an order on Audible, and I'm absolutely loving it. It's just this really gentle sort of it's kind of like a journey through your mental health. So it kind of starts where things start to get a little bit sticky, and it just gently kind of breaks down the process of how things become difficult in your life, and how you know one thing can lead to another, can lead to another, can lead to another, and then you find yourself actually at breaking point. And I just think it's a really well put together book that is gentle, that is comforting, that is reassuring and incredibly informative. So that is my recommendation for this week. It's called A Therapeutic Journey, a therapeutic journey, and it's by Alain de Botan. Um, he was also one of the founders of the School of Life, which is um kind of, I don't really know what you'd call it. It's kind of like an institution in London. It's in Bloomsbury, and they run a lot of courses, they do a lot of seminars, they do a lot of talks, they've they've published a lot of books. So, anyway, so that's my recommendation. Right, I better go on with I better go on with the dilemmas, otherwise, this podcast is going to go on for a long time. So I've got lots of notes this week. Um, because some of the uh the dilemmas are again pretty juicy, so I have to make these detailed notes, so bear with me as I as I read my way through them. Okay, so I'm starting off with Barbara's dilemma. So Barbara wrote in to me, and I believe Barbara is local to me. Um, Barbara wrote in with a question around framing. So she said that she sold around eight paintings and is now finding herself thinking more seriously about exhibitions and presenting her work. But she says that framing has started to feel like a confusing world full of hidden rules and standards that she doesn't fully understand. I just want to say here, Barbara, join the club. Join the club on that one. Um, she's noticed that some exhibitions, like the Royal Academy Summer Exhibition, are very clear about expectations around framing and war safety, while smaller art societies often feel much vaguer. And as a result, she started second-guessing everything from hanging systems and frame quality to whether ready-made frames are acceptable at all. She says she has experience of selling work and has had positive feedback, but now she's wondering what level of professionalism is good enough. Should she continue using ready-made frames or move towards bespoke framing? How much should artists realistically spend on framing? How do you know when your work is ready to be presented in a more polished exhibition style way? And so I think underneath this, I think underneath this is a sort of deeper uncertainty that many artists experience, and that is how professional do you need to feel before you are a real artist? And I think that's kind of what's underneath all of this for Barbara, because uh essentially it reads like a practical dilemma. It's like, Sam, can you help me out with my framing issues? But actually, I think that it's uh tied up with confidence, legitimacy, and identity, really, because I think Barbara is sort of really thinking, Do you know, does my work belong in these, you know, spaces? And if so, how do I need to make my work look before it's accepted into these spaces? Because I think uh the moment that we start uh exhibiting or selling work, showing work public publicly, we become aware of all these sort of invisible standards that nobody really ever teaches us. I mean, it's not like we had a a uh um, you know, uh a day at art school where we talked about framing. We just didn't, just didn't happen. And it sort of feels like everybody else knows the rules and we don't. And I and I can honestly say that I've I've just learned by trial and error. Um it's very much something that comes with experience. I mean, I've over the years, I mean, I've had a couple of things. Well, I've had three things in the summer exhibition, the Royal Academy Summer Exhibition. And the first one, I just used a frame from IKEA. I mean, I really did. I I I I didn't I didn't even think about it. I just put it in an IKEA frame and and and Bob's your uncle, there it was. Um, and it was probably one of my most successful prints. Um, and it just had a really simple black frame. And I think almost framing starts to become sort of symbolic in a way. It becomes it stops being about protecting the artwork, and it almost becomes like proof whether we're professional enough, if that makes sense. And I think often we can we can delay putting ourselves forward because we think, well, I've got to get it framed, I've got to get it, you know, I've got to get it looking better, and it needs to have more polish, etc. etc. But we're essentially I think that's almost a procrastination, because I think just getting the work out there is you know is is is what you need to do rather than overthinking the framing element of it. Um I mean I think a a simple, thoughtful, framed piece of work can look very professional, whereas a overtly elaborate, expensive frame can completely overpower the artwork itself. So I think that you don't need museum-level framing in order to exhibit your work. I think most artists figure this out as they go. Um so for me, I always use a professional framer, and I use the Black Cab Studios in Market Deeping. Big shout out to Michelle, she's amazing, and I believe you're local to me, so that's who I would send you to. Um, Michelle is just so knowledgeable, calm, gentle, friendly. I mean, I've had a I had a terrible experience with a framer in the past. Um, luckily he's not in business anymore, but he was in oh my goodness. I mean, I'll tell you some stories about him, um, but I won't. Um, but I if you've been following me on Instagram for a while, you'll you will remember my frame of stories. Um, but I go to Michelle now. So whenever I'm having uh a piece of work in an exhibition uh or I'm applying for things, or you know, whenever I I need my work, um well, I want whenever I want to present my work in a way that looks more professional than my frames that I buy from the range, then I will go to Michelle. So she she will guide you through you know mount choices. If you want to mount, she'll go through different colour frames, all of that kind of stuff. Um, but but however, my taste in my frames is really simple. I mean, most of these frames that you see behind me here are from a place places like the range. I think some of them are framed framed professionally, but a lot of the times I just buy them off the shelf from the range, or I used to get a lot of frames from IKEA. Um Jackson's do some really good frames, um, Jackson's art, Habitat do great frames. I think if you look around, you can find some really good frames that would fit your work really nicely. Um so I don't think you need to always buy professional frames because the framing can obviously really elevate the price of the work. Um I think you know, obviously it really depends on where you're presenting your work and what your budget is. That's that's those are the key things really. Um, and often, you know, if you've got a I mean, often my I don't I remember getting some advice from a printmaker one time telling me that you should always make your prints a standard size so they can fit in uh frames. It's really good advice, but I've totally ignored it. My prints will be the size of whatever. I mean, so if you buy a print from me, it it's not necessarily the case that you can fit it in a standard frame. So often, you know, if you do have an unusual sized print or or or painting, then you you would have to then possibly get it um framed uh by a professional framer. Um so and also with paintings, it's different, isn't it? I mean, paintings depending on how you paint, I mean, canvases can just be hung on the wall often. I mean, if you've got um paintings on board, they can be framed without glass. You know, I've got a lot, but when I used to paint a lot, I used to have frames. My ex-boyfriend used to make these beautiful frames with just um without any glass, but my my um board used to sit in there really nicely. Um, but I guess price-wise, something around A4 size with standard glass rather than museum glass, because if you use museum glass, it's going to go up even more. And museum glass is where you don't get any kind of reflection. I would say you're looking at around 60 pounds plus for an A4 frame, probably yeah, 60 pounds plus. Um, and that's obviously something you've got to take into account when you're doing your pricing for your work because you you know you don't want uh you know, you don't want to be out of pocket. That has to be factored into the price of what you're selling your work from. I mean, I think the most important thing I think with frames is that you don't really notice the frames, you don't you just see the work. So I had a uh at the at the weekend I visited one of my friend's sons who's working in a local new local gallery near where I live, and we were talking about in this gallery, they've got lots of really elaborate frames for these old paintings, and and um Noah was saying how much he likes these really elaborate frames, and I I don't personally like them because all I can see is the frame rather than the actual painting itself. For me, a frame works when I don't even notice it. It doesn't, you know, all you do, all it does is support the work. You you're not distracted by the frame. So I that's always my goalpost with framing is that you you see the work, you don't notice the frame. And I think that's the key thing. For me, anyway, that's my that's my criteria when I'm looking for framing, you know. Um, but I don't think you need to wait until everything's perfectly polished before exhibiting, you know, just be discerning with with how you frame your work. And obviously, if you buy if you buy frames off the shelf, you do have to take time, you know, taking the glass out, making sure it's all clean, doing all of that preparation, you know. If you do need to install, um, you know, attach some uh D rings, then you're gonna have to do that carefully. All of that takes up time and effort. And sometimes I that sometimes there's nothing worse for me than take buying those frames from the range and trying to get them in, you know, the prints. It I find it really frustrating. Sometimes I would much rather pay Michelle to do all that for me. I know it's gonna cost me some more, but I think it's a really personal thing, and I think the more that you the more that you look around, the more that you ask other people, and I hope that my advice has been helpful for you today, the more you will find what fits right for you and what uh you know what how you feel comfortable with presenting your work. So, homework. I think uh what I'd like you to do is just spend a visit a local exhibition and just spend some time looking at framing rather than the artwork itself. So just look notice, you know, what frames do you do you like? Which frames do you think work with the work, which frames do you feel support the work? Um, you know, and what and looking at maybe looking at the work, seeing if there's anything like yours and how they present their work. So do a bit of research. Um, and then what I would say is once you've done that research, then just go and look in these different shops, find you know, works, uh frames that suit your work. There could be just a couple of um, you know, for me, I when I go to the range, I mean there's just a couple of really simple grey frames I know suit my work, and I just go with those. So I've kind of got it down to, you know, I kind of know when I go in there. And for me, a lot of this framed stuff is so that when I have my open studio, people come in and they see what the work looks like framed. They don't, they probably won't buy them framed because framing is really personal. I often find that most people buy unframed stuff from me because they want to then go away and frame it themselves or choose a frame that matches with their decor. So for me, a lot of the frames that I've got around here are just just kind of just so that people can see what framing frame prints of mine look like. Uh anyway, that was going away from the homework. Um, and then I want you to take one of your pieces of work and calculate the full framed price. So thinking about uh framing costs, um exhibition commission, and then do the costings. So perhaps you know, do a bit of research, go into a gallery and into a framing shop and ask what it would cost to frame this piece of work and do the costings. Think about right, okay. So if I go into a gallery with this piece of work, the the framer tells me it's gonna cost me 50 pounds. What's the price of my artwork? What's that on top? What's the commission? And then look at it that way, and then do your right, okay. So if it's going to be that, how realistic is da-da-da-da? You know, so so kind of find out your ballport price and then work backwards and think, right, how can I just can I justify this, or is it better that I go and buy a simple off-the-shelf frame that works for my work? And I know that there's all there's lots of other framing places I think that you can order sort of custom, you put in the sizes and they send the frames to you, and then you sort of put them together yourself. I know they're places like that because I I know some of my friends um use them. So um, but I can't recommend them because I I've never used them myself. Anyway, I hope that's helpful. Thank you for that, Barbara. Right, moving on to Mimi. So Mimi says that she's been painting in watercolour on and off for about 35 years, fitting creativity around work, family, and all the different seasons of life. But this year she's decided that she really wants to improve her skills and deepen her understanding of painting. So she's thrown herself into learning. She says she's taking classes, listening to podcasts, watching demonstrations, following artists online, meeting up with her local urban sketches groups, but instead of feeling inspired, she started to feel increasingly discouraged and overwhelmed by comparison. What complicates things further is that Mimi already has a style that works well for her. She has specialises in miniature paintings, usually around three to four inches in size, and she's had genuine success with them through sales, awards, and positive feedback. But she says she wants to push herself further now by working larger and looser, exploring freer brush strokes and a less controlled style of painting. But the problem is that she currently feels terrible at it. So her dilemma is this: should she accept that her strengths naturally lie in miniature detailed work and focus on improving there, or should she keep pushing herself out of her comfort zone in the hope that that eventually something will something new will emerge? Oh goodness, and underneath this is this quiet fear that she's running out of time. So Mimi said she's in her early 50s and she worries she might not have endless time to reinvent herself creatively. Okay, I think that pressure of time is it needs to be parked, Mimi. I mean, you're in your early 50s, same as me. Um, but you know, I think we've still got plenty of time left. So I would say that that uh pressure that you're putting on yourself and that sort of underlying worry could possibly be parked. It would be different if you're writing to me and you are 85 or something, but you're you know, you're in your early 50s. I mean, goodness, let's hope we've got plenty more time left. Um, but I think what's happening here, the emotional layer, I think there's there's two different things happening. The first is comparison overload. I mean, when I was reading through the list of sort of the list of things that you're sort of thrown yourself you've thrown yourself into, I was like, oh my goodness me, that's a lot of stuff. You know, demonstrations, podcasts, meeting up with people, doing classes. I think no wonder you're feeling overwhelmed because I just think you're taking on board so much um stuff, and you've exposing yourself to so many different ways of working that you're just feeling like you don't know where to settle. There's so many different ideas being presented to you that you're just your head is your head is fizzing. And I think that those things can be absolutely valuable, can be valuable individually, but I think sometimes inspiration can turn into To noise. And I think what's happening is that you're unable to hear your own artistic voice because I think you're hearing everybody else's. And then I think also you're then falling into that pit of comparison whereby you're exposing yourself to so many different people, you're seeing so many different approaches, and you are comparing yourself, especially with this desire to perhaps move away from the more recognizable style that you have, and you're looking at other people's work, and you'll feel you feel like you're f falling short. Um and I think also here what's happening with your your miniature work, it's it's an interesting one because it's almost like it's almost like you're treating that as a bit of a limitation, where actually I think it's something really important. I feel like your your miniature work has obviously been really important for you because you've it's seen that people respond to it emotionally, they've bought it and they've remembered it, and that matters enormous, enormously. Um, and I think that's proof that you already have a visual language, and you don't know, they're probably looking at you and thinking, oh, look at Mimi with her, you know, she's selling all of her miniature paintings and stuff. You see, you don't know what they're thinking, but also I know I can hear in you that you feel that you want to move further with this and you want to move away from the miniature work, or not necessarily move away from it, because I don't think that's what you should do, I think you should keep that going. But I do think that what I could read really clearly in your email was that you are looking and wanting to expand your practice, and that's what I think you need to do. But I think what happens is that you start and you're beginning, and you're already aware that you've got something here that sells and is recognizable, and people respond to, and then you're dabbling around in this, not knowing where you're doing what you're doing, and you're you're quickly losing faith, thinking, Oh my god, is this worth it? Is this worth it? You know, because I've already got this thing here that's solid. What am I doing? Messing around in this pit at the bottom. But your email tells me that that is really, really important because we've got to do that, we've got to be able to constantly evolve. We can't just keep on this level just because it's selling, you know, you're an artist, you you you you're you sound like you know, you you're obviously learning, you're wanting to go out there and explore things, and that needs to then come through with your artwork. And I think that you just need to allow yourself to be uncertain and unclear where you're going with that work. And I think that that the way that you should probably do this is continue with the miniature work, but almost think about that as your bread and butter. You know, that's the thing that's kind of keeping you consistent. That's the thing that, you know, if you if you need to make money from your artwork, then that is that is that is going to be providing that little sort of you know, uh source of income for you, or big source of income. I don't know, maybe maybe you're making a fortune from it, I don't know. But but then you definitely need to give yourself that time to get messy, to explore this different way of working, and think that actually this might lead you in a different path, and that's great. It might lead you away from miniature work, and that's okay. That's okay, you know, as long as you as long as you can. I mean, okay, if you if your if your miniature paintings are supporting you in your mortgage, then that would be different. But I get the sense that they're not, I get the sense that it's just a small stream of income that you're you're getting from your miniature paintings. But I definitely think it's time for you to absolutely enjoy and explore this new way of working. You know, you keep talking about this looser kind of way of working, and I get it. I mean, if you've been working really small, like this size for years, you're gonna want to try and get bigger to see what happens when you allow yourself just to play. So I think that I definitely think that's what you should do is that you keep the miniature stuff going for the while, but you you you you allow yourself to dive into this new way of working, um, just for yourself, just for yourself. Okay, so practical lay here. I think firstly, what I would do is reduce your creative input, because I don't think that's helping with this comparisonitis. I think just limit your influences instead of having 10 different things that you're doing, maybe just do two things for the next sort of few for a while until that sort of agitation of comparison calms down. Um and you know, if there are certain people whose work really does make you feel lesser, then there's nothing wrong with just muting them for a while or stepping away from them. Because I do think comparison can be really helpful because I can think it can give us information, but sometimes I think it can really distract us. So sometimes there's nothing wrong with pressing that mute button or or or just sort of avoiding that for a while, because I think that that that can help temporarily. Um, and I think what's happening also is that well, I've already touched upon this, so I've already kind of meshed the in into the emotional layer with the practical layer. But what I do think you should do, okay, I'm just going back to the messy kind of work again. I think you you just need to immerse yourself in this new phase of work, and I think you you know, just just see what happens when you allow yourself to make lots of new work. You know, it might be that you may you need to make 20 awkward paintings that you don't really like before there's some kind of breakthrough. Allow yourself to do that, give yourself to give yourself time to experiment, okay? So I think that's what you need to do. You need to keep expanding. I think you need you're an artist, you need to keep expanding your practice. Right, so homework. I've already touched on this. Reduce your creative output for two weeks and notice whether your comparison levels begin to settle. Continue making your miniature work without guilt. Let it be your home base, that's what I wrote down, rather than treating it as something lesser. And then create a series of larger paintings if that's what you want, that are that don't have to become finished, they're just treat them as exercises in looseness, colour, and movement. That's for you, Mimi. I hope that helps. That was a bit of a kind of muddled answer, but you know, I like to kind of give them clear, um clear distinctions with the emotional and practical, but that kind of bled into one another. But that's okay, we we continue on. Right. The next uh dilemma comes from Juliet. So Juliet writes to me from uh Bristol, and she says that, and this is a great dilemma, and this is one that I address a lot in my book sketch. Um, but I I picked this one out. Well, I did say I picked them out, I'm I'm I'm going through them step by step. Um, but this is something that I've heard a lot in the past and I've written about in sketch. So if you haven't got my book sketch, Juliet, then do go and buy it because I think it'll help you. So she says that she loves the idea of sketchbooks and travelling with a sketchbook, and every holiday she packs her materials, pens, watercolours, portable palettes, and beautiful sketchbooks. Notice the sketchbooks, oh dear, um, that she imagines herself feeling while away. She follows artists online who seem effortless effortlessly to document their travels through drawing, and she longs to have that kind of relationship with sketching herself, but the reality never quite matches the fantasy. She says she often travels with her husband, who she describes as lovely but quite dependent on her for company and attention. So she says she rarely feels time, she rarely feels able to fully claim time for herself to disappear and draw. Um, and then she says that when she does get a moment, she suddenly freezes. She doesn't know what to draw and she worries about wasting pages, which I think something really is something really interesting, and feels pressured to create something worthy of the trip. So as a result, she says she comes home with a blank sketchbook and a heavy feeling that she's failed again. Right. So I think really boil this down. Yeah, so boil this down into how do you build a genuine sketchbook habit while traveling, um, especially when perfectionism, uh, overthinking and real life, i.e. husbands, um, get in the way. Okay, so Juliet, I think what's happening here is that you've got this romantic idea of traveling with your sketchbook, and then you've got the reality of going away with your sketchbook and your husband, you know, and I think it's really important for me to point out here that I travel to draw. You know, I I you know I've based my life at this point of my life. My my life is centered around traveling and drawing, and obviously printing and marple, but you know, I've kind of created this life where I can travel and I can draw. But you know, this is something that I've purposely done. I don't have a partner, you know, I don't have a job that I am tied to, you know, I can I can do my coaching from anywhere. So, in a way, comparing yourself to somebody like me is redundant because I don't have a partner. I don't go away with people, I go away to draw, I don't go away on holiday to have a jolly in a way. I go away because I want to draw and I want to share my passion of drawing. So it, you know, don't look at somebody like me and think, oh, I can't be like Sam. Well, no, you you can't be like me because you you've got a husband and you've got a house and you you've probably got children, you've probably got a lot of other stuff that comes along, stuff that I don't have. So I think that's important to kind of look at the reality of the situation. Um and also the traveling, traveling is tiring. You're you're tired, you're you're you're you're juggling different things, you're juggling different timetables, you're overstimulated, and also you're worried about getting it right. And I think you are getting all of that kind of in in your head, and it's becoming bigger than what it needs to be even before you've you've gone away. But I think what's at play here is also what I can hear underneath this is that it's almost like you you feel you feel guilty about taking time for yourself on holiday. You know, you say to me this is something you really want to do, but you're not doing it because I think there's a feeling that, oh my goodness, I shouldn't be doing this because I'm away with my husband, and I don't maybe I shouldn't be having time to myself, and and actually then the drawing becomes kind of squeezed awkwardly into the edges of things, or or maybe it's not even there at all. So that is a lot to be taking on board even before you've left left the house. You know, your sketchbook suddenly becomes this heavy weight of expectation. And I think the thing is it's about it's it there's there's new there's lots of different ways to approach this, isn't there? I mean, first of all, I would just say to yourself, you just want to do a bit of drawing. So, you know, just kind of instead of going away with the idea that you're going to fill loads of sketchbooks, just say to yourself, I'm I want to go away and I want to do some drawing when I'm away. I think that lessens the the the it makes it seem much more achievable than I'm going away with my sketchbook, you know. I mean, I always say I'm going away to do some drawing. I mean I don't say I'm going away to fill a sketchbook because even that would intimidate me. So I think let's set the intention before the holiday even begins. So let's get onto the practical layer here, because I think the emotional layer is that you feel guilty about taking time for yourself, you know, where actually you're going on holiday, you're allowed to take some time for yourself. Because I guess you wouldn't feel bad about saying I'm going to go for a massage or I'm going to go for a walk. Therefore, you know, let's let's kind of celebrate drawing as being something that's really important to us, for important to our mental health, important to our sense of well-being, you know. Um, so what I would say to your husband is before you leave, say to him, you know, I'm I'm really looking forward to going away on holiday, but I would really like to take some time out for my drawing. I'm going, well, I would not not what I would like, that sounds like you're asking permission. Say, I'm going to take some time out for my drawing. And and sort of set the intention before you go so that he knows where you stand, you know where you stand, you've made yourself accountable. He's going to say to you then, hang on, Juliet, didn't you say that you wanted to go out and do some drawing? You know, that works it twofold, really. You know, you set the intention, he's then going to be saying, Well, I thought you said you're going to be doing some drawing on this trip. And then what I would suggest you do is before you go away, look at where you're going. Do do a little bit of research about where it is that you're going, you know, look at possible places that you might want to sit and draw. Just do a little bit of an online recce before you go. And often what I do is if I'm going to a place and I know it's, say, I'm going to Madrid in October, I will look up Madrid in October and I will see what kind of colour palette there is. I mean, Madrid in October, when I went a few years ago, was it October or October slash November? I mean, it was beautiful, it was autumn, all the autumnal colours were out. So I purposely took some of my colours with me that had those colours of autumn. So, you know, do a little bit of online research before you go. And then the thing that I always say to people is my number one tip is the first day you get there, you do a drawing. It's even better if you could do a drawing while you're at the airport or something like that. Just pick up your sketchbook and just touch the page with a quick drawing of people and people, just you know, somebody sitting on a bench at the airport, I don't know, uh, you know, a somebody's suitcase, just something whereby you're touching that paper. And when you get to your destination, if you haven't done that at the airport or the train station or whatever, pick up your pencil and just go around the corner and just do a quick sketch. Maybe just out your window. Just do it on the first day, because I can guarantee that if you don't do it on the first day, you're less likely to do it again. Because the first day that you do it, you get really excited about the fact that you've picked up your pencil and you want to continue on with it. So that's, I always think it's it's such a it's such a boost to the spirits to think I've done it, I've got that first drawing done. And then I think just pack sensibly, don't take everything with you. Just take, you know, I I ran an online sketchbook workshop last night and we started talking about materials. And, you know, people were telling me that they take this, they take that, they take that. I was like, my goodness, no wonder you're getting overwhelmed because you're basically taking a whole art shop with you. You know, don't take that much stuff because you won't use it. You won't use it. You know, another good suggestion is take a sketchbook that's that you've got a few drawings in, or you know, maybe a sketchbook that's a third of the way full. Not don't just take an empty blank sketchbook, take a sketchbook that's already got some work in it, because then you're not you're not feeling like you're starting from scratch. I mean, I take a lot of materials with me because I've been doing this for a long time and I don't get overwhelmed with the choice of materials, but that's just me. I've been doing this for 20 years. So I think, you know, be restrictive with what you take. You know, just take some graphite pencils or just take a selection of coloured pencils because I I think the less you have, the less intimidated you're going to be, the less overwhelmed you're gonna be. Right. So sketchbooks aren't performances either. Sketchbooks can just be uh can be anything you want. You can write your shopping list in there, you can fill every single page, you could have pages missing. There's no right or wrong here. There is no right or wrong. My sketchbooks, every single page on my sketchbook is filled with something. Um, you know, a few lines here and there. Some of my sketches are full page spreads that look like paintings because when I when I was at the Royal Drawing School, we used to go on these um painting trips and we used to do paintings, and I used to paint on tiny little paintings, and almost my drawings have become like mini paintings. That's what they are for me, but that's just me. That doesn't mean to say that you have to do it like me. Again, there's no rules, there's no rules here. You know, your sketchbook needs to work for you however you want it to make it, and maybe it's just a maybe you just go away and you just draw the cats that you see, or you know, maybe you just draw the flowers that you see. Maybe you need to pick a theme for your trip, you know. I'm just going to draw this if that helps you. Um, right, so homework. And this is it, this isn't again, this is kind of what I'm saying here. This is leading on to this. So before your next trip, choose three specific things you genuinely like to draw and and write them down before you leave. So for me, I know what I like to draw. I mean, I know I like drawing in markets, I know I like drawing in cafes, I know I like drawing in museums. So, you know, there like there's lots of parks I like drawing, so I know what I'm going to be looking for when I'm going on a trip. Tell your husband that you're you're going to be taking some time to do your drawings when you go away, and then on that first day, start just doing one drawing and then limit your stuff that you're taking. Right. I hope that's been helpful. I have been banging on for quite quite a while now. Marple's got fed up, she's gone to sit in a basket. Um, I do hope that's helpful. Um, thank you for persisting with me, guys, and listening to my rambles. Um, and thank you again for tuning in. I've just said that, haven't I? But let's say again, thank you for tuning in. And um, if you have got a dilemma, please do send it through to the creative couchpod at gmail.com. The creative couchpod at gmail.com. And do what you need to do in terms of liking, subscribing, whatever you need to do, dancing, whatever, whatever it takes to keep this podcast going. Uh, all right, my lovelies. Listen, I'll be back with you next week. Um, I'll be in I'll be in Italy, but you know, I'll I'll I'll pre record an episode so that you don't feel like I've dropped you. I would never drop you. Anyway, as always, are we recording? We are. I'm gonna stop recording and I'll say goodbye.