Episode 23: Solo Exhibitions, Returning to Art & Creative Uncertainty

In this episode of The Creative Couch, I respond to three thoughtful creative dilemmas from Craig, Anouk and Linda, exploring artistic permission, returning to creativity after a long absence and building a creative life alongside chronic illness.

Craig is a collage artist from Philadelphia who has completed an ambitious series of fifty bird collages. Although collectors are eager to buy the work, he's holding back because he dreams of exhibiting the entire collection in a solo exhibition. After approaching galleries without success, he's wondering whether organising his own exhibition would somehow make it less legitimate. We explore who gets to decide when an artist is ready, the difference between external validation and creative agency, and why sometimes the opportunities we wait for are the ones we're capable of creating ourselves.

Anouk studied Fine Art after discovering a love of printmaking during her foundation course. But after feeling pressure at university to move away from work that seemed too illustrative, she gradually lost confidence and drifted away from making art altogether. Twenty years later she's rediscovering drawing and feels torn between returning to drypoint or embracing linocut. We discuss learning to trust your creative instincts again, why creativity rarely disappears completely, and whether becoming an artist is less about finding the perfect medium and more about consistently returning to the work.

Linda has been living with chronic illness for more than a decade. Art has become a source of purpose, friendship and identity after having to step away from her previous career, but an uncertain benefits reassessment means she's unsure how to move her creative practice forwards without risking the financial support she relies upon. We explore what it means to build a creative life during seasons of uncertainty, how to balance security with ambition, and why laying creative foundations is never the same as standing still.

Also in this episode, I share a recent Loving Lately recommendation: Clearabee. With all the building work and studio renovations happening here recently, they've made clearing bulky waste remarkably easy. I also really appreciate their commitment to recycling and diverting as much waste as possible from landfill.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why waiting for permission can hold us back creatively
 • Whether organising your own exhibition makes it any less legitimate
 • The difference between external validation and creative agency
 • How to rebuild confidence after stepping away from art for many years
 • Why creativity often finds different outlets, even when we're not making art
 • Whether you really need to choose one artistic medium over another
 • How chronic illness can reshape identity and creative purpose
 • Why it's impossible to plan for every uncertain future
 • The importance of laying creative foundations, even when life feels on hold
 • Why becoming an artist is something we do through making, not something we're eventually allowed to call ourselves

Each dilemma is explored through both its emotional and practical layers, with ideas and exercises you can apply to your own creative practice.

If you have a creative dilemma you'd like me to explore in a future episode, I'd love to hear from you. You can email me at:

thecreativecouchpod@gmail.com

If you're feeling stuck in your own creative practice and would like support, you can find out more about my creative coaching, workshops and artwork at:

www.sammarshallart.com

You can also find me on Instagram at @sammarshallart.

Transcript

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Hello and welcome to the Creative Couch. I'm some martial artist and creative coach. This is a podcast for anyone navigating the ups and downs of a creative life. Each week I respond to three real creative dilemmas sent in by listeners, exploring both the emotional side of what you're experiencing and some practical ways to move forward. And from time to time, I'll also be joined by other artists to talk about their creative life, their practice, their challenges, and what keeps them going. Hello and welcome to the Creative Couch. Welcome back. How are we all this slightly cool? Sunday, Sunday morning. Um I've been out to get my I've got to get some plants for the garden because the garden's looking awful. And also, and I know it's not the ideal time to plant, but you know, I've got to do something. It's looking terrible. And I will water religiously, but obviously moderate moderately because there's a there's a hose pipe ban. Anyway, I'm I'm going to I'm going down a pathway that I didn't intend to go to down. Um the reason I'm saying that is because I went out this morning and it was quite chilly. I felt like, oh, I'm a little bit cold in my jumpsuit. Um anyway, so it's a chilly-ish, it's not chilly, but it's a lot cooler than it was. Um Marple's on my lap, she's here. She's here, she's uh she's on my lap. She's a little bit dusty. She's been lying on the um on the driveway, which hasn't got any uh gravel on it at the moment, so it's just kind of dust. So she's lying on it, and I'm picking her up and I'm just getting getting covered in dust. Um yes, so anyway, that's that's the update from this morning. I've got mum and dad coming this afternoon, they're coming to look at what's been going on this week. Those of you who have been following me on my stories and on my YouTube um channel this week will know that it has been absolute chaos here. It has been so busy. I've had the guys finishing the studio, I've had an air source heat pump fitted, I've had the guys doing the driveway, I've had air conditioning units fitted. I mean, everything that can possibly happen to my cottage has happened this week. So it's been slightly stressful. Um, but it's been fine. I've managed it. Um there's been a few tense moments, there's been a few tears, but I think that is understandable. Um, you know, given given the fact that I'm still very sad about losing my wonderful friend Francis. I'm navigating um lots of tough feelings around that. Um but yeah, I mean it's it's gonna be wonderful. When it's all finished, it's gonna be wonderful. And um I know that Francis would be really chuffed and be so impressed, and she'd be down here uh really you know as quickly as she could to be uh looking at what's been going on. So anyway, so that's the update. Uh my loving lately is actually a um it's actually related to this week, and that is a company called Clearaby. And I've used them a couple of times now to clear away debris and waste, and I find them really efficient. And what they do is 95% of the waste that they collect is diverted away from landfill. So they take it to recycling centres. I just find them a really good uh company to use. I mean, I had a load of stuff that needed to go away this week. I had cardboard, I had all the stuff from the Air Source heat pump because I don't take the stuff away. I have pallets. I literally took a photograph of what I needed taking away. They give you a quote, they come and collect it the next day, super efficient, super organized. I I really recommend them. So rather than getting a skip and having a skip on your property, I find that this is a really good way to navigate a lot of stuff which you can't necessarily take to the recycling centre yourself. I just couldn't couldn't couldn't get it all in my little car. So uh that's my slightly random recommendation, but I I I think some of you might might enjoy that one. Anyway, so as always, thank you to everybody who has sent in your dilemmas this week. I've had a lovely batch of dilemmas this week, but as always, hungry for more. So do send your dilemmas in to the creative couchpod at gmail.com. And if you send in a dilemma, do plump it out as much as you can. The more information I have, the easier it is for me to answer your dilemma. Um, yeah, and if you feel comfortable, tell me you know where you are in the world. You know, it's it's always quite nice to be able to locate people around the world. Um, yeah. Anyway, getting on to this week, this week's dilemma. So this week I am answering Craig's dilemma. I think this is the first dilemma I've had in from a male, so that's interesting. So Craig's dilemma, I am answering a nook's dilemma, and I am answering Linda's dilemma. Right, my friends, let's get into it. As the cool kids say, and I'm I'm obviously a cool kid, so uh so let's do this. Okay, so Craig writes in that he is a self-taught collage artist from Philadelphia who recently retired, and this has given him the opportunity to devote umself to making art full-time. Over the past year, he has completed a series of ambitious collage works, each featuring a bird mounted on a eight by eight inch wooden panel, mounted on eight by eight inch wooden panels. Um he's had encouraging success, he's had encouraging success exhibiting his work in group shows. The pieces are regularly accepted into exhibitions, and whenever he shows individual works from the bird series, people immediately ask if they can buy them. But he's deliberately held back on selling them because he dreams of exhibiting the whole series in a complete collection together in a solo exhibition because he feels like that would be a really important milestone in his career. So far, he's approached a local gallery and a respected non-profit art centre, but one has gone silent and the other has rejected his proposal. So recently Craig organized a DIY group exhibition with two fellow fellow collage artists. They found the venue, they hung the exhibition themselves, they promoted it, they hosted the opening and they sold work, and it was a genuine success. So now he's wondering whether he should simply organise his own solo exhibition rather than waiting for a gallery to invite him in. But he's worried that a self-produced solo exhibition somehow isn't a real solo show, and whether it even belongs on his CV and whether choosing that route somehow cheapens the achievement. Really interesting dilemma, Craig. So thank you for sending that in. And I really enjoyed looking at your wonderful bird collages. Um, they were great to see. A really fun, um, great, vibrant set of collages. But I think what strikes me the most about your dilemma, if we unpack it in the emotion in the emotional layer, it's not about the gallery rejection, it's it's how much permission you are still waiting for. As if you know, a golden light or a you know, a tick from a gallery will somehow give you the sense of achievement that you've been waiting for. Because you know, you've already done the hard part, you've made the work, you've you've um you know, you've you've shown them to various people. There's been a tremendous response, people want to buy them, and you know, your DIY exhibition shows that you know you can successfully put work into the world, but somehow that doesn't feel enough. And I it's almost like the gallery has become the final stamp of approval. Um, it's almost as if the exhibition only becomes legitimate if somebody else has said yes. And I think you know, that's uh we experience a lot of of this as artists, you know. We wait for somebody else's approval, you know, we wait for some authority to decide whether we're good enough, you know, whether we get into a certain exhibition or an open call or you know, um we we whether we get accepted into a gallery, we then finally feel like we're a proper artist because somebody else approves. Um, but but I think that the danger with that is that that feeling almost never arrives because validation keeps moving further and further away. You know, as soon as you get accepted into one exhibition, you'll be trying to get into another, you know, it would be this constant sort of uh game of trying to be validated, trying to um, you know, get that golden tick, golden ticket. You know what I mean? So I think it's it's not really about uh the exhibition itself. It's not I don't think you're wrestling whether with whether to actually organise an exhibition. I I sort of feel like it's it's about you um allowing yourself to do this without somebody else giving you permission, if that makes sense. So so I think in the practical layer here, I mean the first thing I want to say is that a gallery curated solo exhibition and a self-produced solo exhibition are simply different things. It doesn't mean that one is lesser, they're just different. You know, if you rent a gallery, you you organise the exhibition professionally and are transparent about the role, then you've still produced a solo exhibition. And I would just simply describe it on your CV as you know, uh 50 Birds uh solo exhibition, and then the gallery name Philadelphia. You know, it doesn't, you don't need any more elaboration than that. And and I think, you know, I I've done solo exhibitions before, or I've organized solo exhibitions before, and I know how hard they are. You know, it takes vision, it takes organization, marketing, installation, and confidence. And I think they are incredibly valuable professional skills. Um, and and also I think I would be widening your um your thinking beyond traditional galleries. I would be thinking of you know places that aren't necessarily conventional commercial art spaces, you know, uh nature centres, botanical gardens, I don't know, museums, libraries, um, universities, independent project spaces, you know, it doesn't necessarily have to be a gallery space. Um, chosen pop-up venues might be quite interesting as well. Um, I think the the thing here, Craig, isn't for a gallery to say yes, it is simply for the work to be seen. So I think your homework needs to be uh challenging yourself to stop thinking in terms of uh yes to a gallery or no to a gallery. I think what would be helpful for you would be to make a list of of sort of 10 places or 10 or 15 places of you know where the 50 birds could be exhibited over the next year, um, and without judging whether they're prestigious enough. And I think then you ask yourself one simple question here. It is almost like you you need to ask yourself which of the venues would have the biggest impact on the people who genuinely who would genuinely love it. You know, I mean uh for me, I mean uh you know, a nature center or a somewhere like that, you know, people who are really interested in birds, I mean that would be the ideal space to show the work. And I think it's it's important that you really get the work out there, get the work seen, stop waiting, just do it, and absolutely sell the work, get the work out there, sell the work, celebrate the fact that people like the work, people want to buy it. I think you've just got to stop waiting, Craig. I think you've just got to do this because I think sometimes the in a way, you know, I've often thought about this, the door that we've been waiting to be unlocked has been unlocked all along. You've just got to you've just got to you know turn the handle and go in. So absolutely go for it. Don't wait for a gallery, do it yourself. It's absolutely valid on your CV, whether you've organized the exhibition or whether a gallery's organised the exhibition. So do it, let me know how you get on, and best of luck. Okay, thanks for that, uh Craig. That was great. Okay, our second dilemma today comes from a nook who um tells me that she studied fine art after completing a foundation course. And during her foundation course, she completely fell in love with printmaking, particularly dry point. She describes how natural the process felt for her, the mark making, the scratching into the plate, the physicality of it all, and it was the first time she felt like she'd finally found a creative language that felt like home. So, just for a bit of context here, dry point is a form of engraving where you scratch directly uh into the metal. So a lot of people call dry point etching, and it isn't etching, it's that's an incorrect term. Etching is where you immerse the plate in acid and the acid bites the line. Dry point is literally scratching straight onto the surface, so it isn't etching. Just to give you a bit of a an idea of what Anouk is talking about here. So when she talks about the physicality, you know, it involves a lot of physicality because you're literally strapped scratching across the metal. It's a lovely sort of medium, but it is very physical. And she said that she for the first time she felt like she'd found a creative language that felt like home. But then she moved from this small rural foundation course to a much larger university in art school, and then everything changed. You know, she felt she said that she felt found herself feeling a pressure, whether spoken or unspoken, to move away from the work that was considered too illustrative. So instead she began making sculpture and working with found objects. And she says, although she worked hard and completed her degree, she felt that those processes never held the same power for her, and gradually she drifted away from making art altogether. Although I'm going to question that. Over the past 20 years, creativity has still been very present in her life, but in different ways. She's made furniture, worked with green wood, experimented with carbon, earth building, and looking back, she can see that creativity never really disappeared. It just found different outlets. But recently she said that she's been finding her way back to printmaking. She started drawing again, inspired by my book, Sketch, which is wonderful, and she's discovering, rediscovering the mark making she loved so so much all those years ago. But her dilemma is this she's now torn between returning to Drypoint, which feels extinctive and familiar, or exploring Lino Cut, which feels exciting, practical, and perhaps perhaps better suited to the space she has at home. She wonders whether she could commit she should commit to one process or allow herself to pursue both. And beneath it all sits another question. Again, it comes up again here. After 20 years away, she doesn't able, she doesn't feel yet, she doesn't feel able yet to call herself an artist. Okay, right. So the first thing I'm going to say here is Anuk, I hear you, I see you, I too experienced the same thing at art school. My foundation was the most amazing year. I just I loved it. I did everything. Uh I went to the slade and I felt lost really, you know, I there was a pressure for your work to be conceptual. You know, I I I went into the to to the slade making performance pieces, and there was a pressure for me to keep doing that, and I just lost my way. So I hear you with that, you know. Um, I think there's this sort of I think art school, especially in the 90s, there was a uh an unspoken hierarchy of media. You know, certain ways of work felt more intellectually acceptable than others, you know, there's the you know, the sculptures and the paintings and the and the kind of media work was was was uh I found was was was pushed more than perhaps you know kind of quieter illustration, observational studies or or you know, traditional kind of printmaking. So I kind of hear you on this. Um but well it's not really a but. I mean obviously that is the message that you left with in that you know you were you you felt at that point you were probably very young like me, very, very in a word, you you know, very uh easily influenced. And you know, for me a lot of the time, you know, I was listening to my tutors and you know, kind of doing what they told me to do, you know. So you leave, I left art school feeling really bruised and really wounded, and I never really wanted to make art again in my life. Thank God I found the royal drawing school. But you know, I think that I you know, I think what you what you're saying there, Enoch, is is actually quite common, and I I you know I think that a lot of people who who experienced art school during those times would, and maybe even now, you know, I I think it's probably still pr pretty similar now. Um and I think that you know one of the greatest gifts of of a foundation course is discovering where you where you lose track of time, you know, the the the times where you are fully absorbed and you know that you found your thing. And I think when we go to art school and we lose that then you know we we we we take that and it it's quite hard to then return to that again, I feel. Um and I because I think that the work that lasts isn't necessarily the work we make to impress other people or other artists, it's the work that we make that we can't help making. And for me, that's always been drawing. Um, and another thing I wanted to pick up here on the emotional side of things was that Anook said she stepped away from art for 20 years, and I don't think she did. You know, to me, it sounds like she's had a really fulsome kind of life, uh utilising her creativity in in so many different ways. You know, it's it's it's just your creativity simply changed clothes in a way. You know, you built furniture, you work with wood, you've you've experimented with natural building materials, and and they're they're not that's not the that's not the the life of somebody who who doesn't have any creative um uh you know uh creative bones in their body. I mean it's it's somebody who has a natural creative instinct, they are the activities of somebody who still very much wants to make work with their hands. I think creativity has obviously been throwing flowing through your life throughout this whole time, and now you've found your way back to printmaking and drawing. And I feel like one of the things what is preventing you from calling yourself an artist is because you don't have a coherent, consistent body of work. But actually, I think that you know, doing that and then calling yourself an artist is actually the wrong way around. I think you need to start calling yourself an artist because everything you've told me, Enook, is very clear that you are an artist. You are an artist, you now make the work. Okay. I think that's really clear. So I think maybe calling yourself an artist from now on will give you the permission to keep making the work that you want to make. Right, let's move on to the practical layer. I don't think you have to decide at all between lino cut and dry point. I mean, I just think you just don't. It doesn't make any sense to limit yourself with the techniques that you want to explore. So many different artists use so many different ways of working. I mean, me, me, for example, you know, I draw, I print, I, you know, my printmaking involves lino cut, it involves etching, it involves dry point. That's fine. That's absolutely fine. I mean, one of the things I would say to you though is, and I'll I'll always say this, if I'm running a printmaking course which involves dry point and printmaking, I keep them quite separate. So I wouldn't be doing dry point one day and then lino cut another. I would be making sure that the students do one week of dry point or etching and then one week of of lino cut because both techniques require you to think in different ways. Um I think you need to give yourself permission to immerse yourself in them individually for a while. So maybe one week on dry point, maybe one week on lino, because I think it will then really start to you'll you'll start to see the difference in the techniques, but also the similarities. Your marks that you make with dry point will appear in the marks that you make with your lino cut. You know, just because they're different techniques, it's still you making the work, it's still your own unique way of mark making marks. Just because the the actual tool is different, they will still be your marks, and I think doing that will enable you to see the similarities, and I think that will then help you to sort of relax into the feeling that absolutely both of these techniques can be something that you work with. Okay, um, you know, and also yes, Lino Cut is more accessible. accessible because you know it doesn't require a press you can hand burnish everything dry point does really need if we're you know we want to get some some uh uh satisfactory results then you do need to um uh you do need to have a press but that is something that okay so that is something that perhaps you do have to be thinking about when you're when I'm giving you your homework is is maybe you can have access to a press somewhere so if you're doing dry point and you're focusing on dry point maybe that does mean that you go to a local printmaking place and you concentrate on dry point for a while you know um but I feel that you know if dry point does become something that you really do you know want to return to and really work alongside your Lino Cut then maybe thinking about investing in a press is something that you you know want to consider in the future. So your homework I think over for the next sort of eight weeks or so stop trying to decide who you are as an artist just just start becoming curious again which I think you already are doing and I would say if it is possible to concentrate on two different techniques on these two different techniques but give yourself clear boundaries around them so perhaps if it is possible to to do some dry point for two or three weeks if you've got a place that you can go to to to utilize their press and concentrate on the dry points and then concentrate on the Linos and then have a look you know see how they talk to one another see the differences look at the look at the similarities as well and I think also the last thing I want to say and and it you it is homework in a way I I look at this statement that you that you that you wrote in your email and actually I think this is something that is still holding you back. It's this idea that I don't feel able to call myself an artist again as if you're waiting for something you're waiting for that body of work. I think artists are somebody like you who has had that thread of creativity running throughout your life it has never let go. You don't become an artist because you've produced a body of work. You are an artist you have been an artist throughout your life so let's not keep let's be be mindful of that terminology that comes up when you're saying when you hear yourself sort of doubting whether you are an artist. I think let's say you are an artist from now on keep telling yourself that you know don't shout it out aloud I mean that would be slightly ridiculous but just you know just keep gently bringing back to yourself the evidence that you have proved the evidence that you have shown me today the evidence that you know and just accept that and let's move on with making the work I think you're making it much more complicated than what you need to be okay I hope that is helpful and look right moving on to um Linda uh right Linda so Linda writes that her uh she's been living with a chronic illness for or hang on let me I can't read my writing she's been living with chronic illness for more than a decade and two years ago she experienced a significant relapse and is now is now only very gradually beginning to recover. At the moment she's unable to work and she's waiting for reassessment to determine whether she whether she'll be able whether she'll be considered fit to return to the work in the future. Both the timing of that assessment and its outcome remain uncertain. During her illness uh art has become more than just a hobby. It has given her purpose after having to step away from the career she once built working in short manageable sessions with simple materials she's built a creative practice that fits around her health and through sharing her work online she's made friendships and found a large supportive community which has been something particularly important to her while she's been housebound. And over time she's beginning to she's begun to see herself less through the lens of her formal profession and more as an artist. She doesn't tell me she didn't tell me what her performer profession was. She dreams of perhaps illustrating children's books one day and is also interested in teaching and helping others with their creativity. The difficulty however is that her benefits are linked to strict rules about work and income. At the moment she is not allowed to earn any money from her art even though people regularly approach her asking her for permissions. And depending on the outcome of the reassessment she may eventually have to earn a minimum amount or she may only be allowed to earn up to a certain limited amount. Either way she's worried about making the wrong decision and jeopardising the financial support she relies on. And as a result she feels caught in limbo she continues to take courses make plans and develop her skills but she feels as if she's been preparing for a future for a long time without knowing what she's actually allowed to do. She wants to move her creative life forward but isn't sure what the next step should be while so much remains uncertain okay so okay first of all I want to you know just sort of say I want to acknowledge you know with this illness that you had Linda you know how much in a way that you've lost you know um and I think when somebody becomes chronically ill people often focus on you know the obvious losses the work the physical health but often what gets uh overlooked is that loss of identity you know the future that you had imagined for yourself um you know quietly disappears and you have to begin to construct a completely different life and it in a way you know what you've lost is significant I you know it's it's clear you know it's clear through your email what you've lost however what is also really obvious is what you found you know you've found your love of art you found a way of making work that that gives you a purpose and that's so powerful because purpose is one of the things I think that illness can take away you know but but through finding and discovering your love of art you know you've built a community you've discovered joy and you've started imagining a future that you never thought possible you never even imagined this this um this this future and that's a remarkable thing so I think the real dilemma here isn't really about the benefits I think it's trying to sort of balance two equally uh important needs I think one of them is you know financial security you know the benefits give you that stability at a time when your health is unpredictable and of course you don't want to risk losing that but on the other hand you are beginning to glimpse a new version of your life you can see possibilities open up with your artwork and you know naturally you want to move towards them but those two needs in a way I think almost feel like they're pulling against one another and I think that's where the that's where that's where you're kind of coming a little bit unstuck because I think you're you're trying to make decisions based you're trying to make decisions without knowing what the future holds. You don't know what the reassessment is going to um you know what what what which way the reassessment's going to go. It's almost like you're trying to solve three different futures at once you know one where you're fit to work one where you're partially fit and one where you're considered unable to work and and no wonder you're feeling stuck and and I think you're answer asking questions that you just simply can't answer yet if that makes sense. So practically I mean I can't get into the to the to the nitty gritty of the benefit system. I don't know enough and it's something that's entirely dependent on your own circumstances and and all of that. But I would like to sort of separate your life into two different tracks and and the first track is your creative development because I think that you can continue to do that without knowing what the reassessment is going to pertain to I think that you can continue making your work building your portfolio continue your drawing sharing your work online building your illustration skills you know you can study um what goes into creating children's books. You can learn about publishing you can do your research around that you can look into different ways of teaching you can start to really build a very strong foundation from which to launch yourself no matter what because none of these things at the moment require you to earn money you know they're just investments in your future whichever that takes you know so the research around the you know the children's books books the research around the coaching or the teaching I think they are all you know you're gathering information you're becoming much more educated and you're building that strong core foundation and the second track is your financial decisions and I think again you need to wait until the reassessment happens for you to really know where you stand with that. And I think you're trying to make a business plan at the moment without knowing what rules you're you're working under. So once you have that information you will then be able to make sensible informed decisions around commissions around illustration around teaching around creating children's books so I think that that's important. I think that you need to just keep on going with the work um and I also I wanted to touch on this idea of you to you you know you mentioned about people asking you for commissions and I wouldn't see that as pressure I would just see take that as information information that people are really interested in your work people are connected to your work they want to invest in you. Now you don't have to say yes or no to these commissions you know I mean at the moment I probably wouldn't given you just don't know you know what your limitations are going to be regarding the reassessment but you're gathering evidence you know you're gathering uh information that people like your work they want to buy your work they want to invest in you similar to Craig you know and I always say when you're starting off and you're and you know you're beginning to sell your work or you're beginning to show your work keep a praise journal keep a keep a notebook that notes down any kind of praises any anything that anybody says something nice to you write it down because I can guarantee the times when you feel wobbly you are going to be wanting to remember some of the nice things that people said to you. And I I think also another important thing is I would like you to stop thinking about this period as waiting because I don't think that you are waiting. I think that you are you are actively making work by the sounds of it. You are moving forward and I think the things that we tell ourselves you you you say that you're in limbo but I don't think you are and I don't want you to be I want you to keep on making the work because that is not going to change regardless of the outcome of the reassessment you're developing your voice as an artist and those things aren't a distraction from your future they are your future in a way you know if that makes sense. Okay right homework I want you to stop preparing for every possible outcome because that is just not possible and it's gonna it's a waste of your energy and it's a waste of your time I think you need to spend the next few months just focusing on the things that would benefit you regardless of what the reassessment says you know keep making art keep sharing it keep building your community community keep developing your illustration portfolio start collecting ideas around teaching start investigating illustration books all of those things move you forward without you require without requiring any kind of financial decision at this at this point okay so that is the thing I want you to focus on and I want you to be thinking about laying foundations or building a runway I used this this analogy a few weeks ago building a runway you're building a runway you're building foundations that's what you're doing at the moment and that is really active that takes a lot I mean I've had a lot of building work here recently I know I I know how important strong firm foundations are so you know that is really really important and that is what you're doing and that doesn't matter whether they come back saying you can do this or you can't do that. Okay so I want you to really be focused on this idea that you are building foundations you're building a runway and I think that your job isn't here your job here isn't to uh know exactly where your creative life is heading your job is just to continue becoming the artist that you already are just keep building on that and building on that and try and put the reassessment to the back of your mind and wait to see the outcome and then make your changes accordingly. Okay guys I hope that was helpful I'm doing this under pressure because I've got my mum and dad coming soon so I'm hoping that they will uh I think I'm hoping that they'll arrive shortly so that I manage to get everything in in this short period of time to record the podcast. As always thank you for joining me do like follow share do whatever you need to do and more importantly if you have a dilemma please do send it in to the creative couchpod at gmail.com thanks guys and I will see you again next week see you later oh hang on let me just show you a little bit the little bit of the brown girl here she is in a new colour a beautiful new colour she's beautiful she's an old lady but a very pretty old lady bit like me right over okay stop recording