Day 23 – Commensality: The Spiritual Power of Eating Together

This episode explores the profound significance of commensality—sharing meals together—in Islamic culture and its impact on spiritual growth, social bonds, and community cohesion. Featuring insights from Nazim Baksh, the discussion highlights how eating together fosters unity, humility, and gratitude, especially during Ramadan.

Nazim Baksh is a Canadian journalist and award-winning television producer with CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation). 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:14

Rahman Rahim, I begin with the name of Allah, the most gracious, the most merciful. Beloved viewers and listeners, welcome to another episode of our Ramadan uh podcast. Today is quite personal for me because I'm sitting with a mentor, someone who have guided me for many years along my life and still do so, our beloved brother Nazim Baksh, a respected journalist who served for decades with the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. And today I sit with a man whose voice commands attention and whose pen has shaped narratives in Canada and also across the globe, who has now returned to Guyana after many years in Canada. And he's he's a well-known name across the West and has worked very closely with Sheikh Hamza Yusuf for many years. There is so much I can say about him, but I would like to say to our beloved brother, welcome Sidinazim to our podcast, and it's an honor to have you here today. Just before we commence our discourse and discussion, I want to say that today um we are speaking about something quite simple and but yet profound commensality. In a synopsis, it means to eat together, it's much more than that. But just to share with you, uh our viewers, that the Prophet Muhammad said, He says, Eat together and do not separate, for the blessings is with the jama'a and the group. And in Ramadan, the Prophet Muhammad tells us about the virtue of feeding a fasting person. He says, Whoever gives iftar to a person that is fasting, that he he will have the reward like his. So food in Islam is not just sustenance. Um it's it's it is barakah, it is mercy, it is a display of unity. And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala mentioned in Al-Quran calling out to humanity, and he says, O mankind, eat from what is lawful and pure on earth. And this is found in chapter 2, verse 168. Even eating in our faith is framed as moral and also spiritual. So, Siddin Alm, you know, can you elaborate and speak to the word commensality and also uh why the awareness of commensality is important for a spiritual growth?

SPEAKER_01 3:07

Yeah. Well, thank you very much, uh, Imam Safraz. Uh wonderful to be on your podcast and uh to be a guest, and uh congratulations on doing this uh beneficial uh service and and and the things that you're doing, the guests that you've had in the last little while. Uh commensality for me means not only sharing food, but actually being at the same table, sharing your table. In the Quran, there's the chapter Al Maida, which is the table spread. Right? And the whole idea, as you go to the verses of the Quran of that chapter is about food and about the sacredness of food. When people travel together, there's a bond that occurs between them that takes shape. When people lay their head down to rest, uh and they share, you know, a common space where people sleep together, there's a bond even in sleeping. Right? Yes. Um, and going to sleep and waking up, you get to hear people uh snores if they snore, or you get to you know, listen to them as they breathe in and out peacefully. In other words, a sort of simple kind of yes. When people eat together uh and they share um food, uh it brings them closer together, it creates a social bond among themselves, right? And so that's what makes it sacred. That I get to see you and share the taste of the food that you put in your mouth, it's the same food that I'm putting in my mouth. Right? Putting it with my own hands and you're putting with your own hands. Now, if you've ever uh been in a situation where food is is shared, like where there's commensality in the real sense. Um I remember uh when I when this topic first came up, I was thinking about my experience in Morocco and you know they bring out a big large dish with a flat plate and they're gonna do it. The big dishes, you know, they put meat on it and vegetables and so on and so forth, right? And everybody comes around that plate that you take your spot, and the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, peace be upon him, taught us to eat the food that is in front of you, so you don't reach across the the plate, right? So there's a there's an etiquette in terms of how we consume that food, right? You eat from what's the portion is in front of you, and the host is obviously there as well sharing the plate, right? So you have guests and you have the host, and the host is also eating in front, so now you eat, now you're satiated, right? And I was thinking about this, and and then what happens is that the food is left in the plate, right? And the host feels that you're not doing justice to his food, right? And so what he'll do, he'll say, No, take more, take more. Take more to be oversatiated. And because the food might might inevitably lead to wasted, the host will pick up the food in his hands and feed you in your mouth. Right? And and and a sense of sharing and love and and suddenly this the stomach feels like it can expand to take one more morsel of food, right? It might be a piece of meat, it might be a vegetable or something, until the plate is completely shiny, right? And there's nothing left, as we say in Islamic etiquette, nothing left for the devil, right? That's nothing left for the shaitan. So I I was thinking about all these things in light of what we do in Ramadan when we break our fast, when we come together to share food.

SPEAKER_00 6:51

Yeah, so so that's uh amazing insight. And you know, just to pick on the point that you were saying that um in terms of the sharing, I had the unique experience of this very uh uh experience that you shared in in Morocco when I went two years ago. And literally, as we sit in eating, they're sharing the meal, despite you can't put your hands over, they're sharing portions of the meal and they're giving you in front of you take the best portion that is in front of them that they may get, and know that it's it's a good portion or a good portion of that platter, and they're sharing it around. You know, it is as if they're saying, This is good, but I want you to have it, and they're taking it and they're giving you it. Uh, whether it's a piece of meat or piece of chicken, or and I I think that's um you know it's very beautiful, you know. Um, lesson that we learned from that is amazing. You know, City, you know, you lived in Canada for many years. Canada is a multicultural place, multiculturalism is is quite strong in Canada, and you have attending different cultural iftars and Somali, Ghanese, Pakistani, Arabs, but often communities taste within themselves, sharing a space, a space that is easy. Um, you know, I'll say sharing a space is easy, but sharing hearts is quite harder. Can can you speak about those experiences that you have, like um the various culture and how we can learn from them, right? Because when I was at when uh I was at from the age of 16 to 27 in Cairo, um I was living in Marita Barosa the Islamia, which is like a hostel, and you have people from various backgrounds, and they invite you to eat. And each one of uh those countries that had a different culture in terms of sharing meals. And now thinking about what you're saying, it makes me think back. It just came to my mind, that's why I'm sharing it. So I'm sure that you can share your insight on that if you don't mind.

SPEAKER_01 8:44

So so that's that's that's that's a good question. Because indeed, in in Canada, where I've lived for four to five years of my life, um, you know, we've seen the growth of the community. So you've seen, you know, first it's the West Indians and then the Pakistanis, and then you have Arab culture, and then various Arab cultures within that mosaic of Arab cultures, then you have the Somalis, then you have Europeans, then you have Chinese Muslims, Malay Muslims, you know, Muslims, and and and obviously our own culture, which is the Westinian culture, right? In in all of that. And so you get a beautiful feel of the kind of range of Muslim cuisine. That's the first thing that that strikes you as living in a multicultural society, that is a range of Islamic cuisine, right? Uh from you know, the type of bread that you consume to the type of rice that you eat and the type of the ways in which meat the meat is is is made and so on. One of the things that I noticed though is that in the West, in Canada, and to some extent, like uh and I to a large extent actually, in the United States as well, in among the Muslims, and now in Guyana, eating collectively around one plate is something that you don't see. We don't see that unless you travel to the Middle East. Or I know if I go to a Moroccan family at a home, they will put a plate out. One plate with the whole dish, and everybody eats in the one plate, right? So let's say I'm sitting next to you, for example, and you and I are you know, we're different built. You're taller than I am, you know, you're younger than I am, you might eat more. I might eat less, right? So instead of having one individual plate, the benefit of eating collectively is that you could eat whatever your heart's desire, whatever your stomach can take, right? More or less of what I would eat and not feel ashamed that I would eat and not feel ashamed either, right? That I'm eating less. That in other words, we are partaking of the bounties of the Lord. You know, in other words, food becomes this bounty which you eat to satiate yourself, and I eat to satiation myself, right? And nothing is wasted. Very little is wasted, if anything, at all. Right. And so I I find that remarkable that Islamic culture is so is so strong in terms of the sunnah of eating, the practice of the Prophet, peace be upon him, in terms of eating, that it is reflected in the way which we eat, right? How we sit, for example. Like if I sit with my with my knees fold my my my legs folded like this, then you can't get close to me, right? But if I eat in the sunnah way, which is one leg up, which locks off a part of the stomach, that little turd there, right? Then chances are you could sit closer to me and we could all eat. There's a place at the table, so to say, around the plate, right? And it forges that bond, that relationship, that spiritual bond between people over food, something that is physical, it's not divine. In other words, we're not praying. So just like we pray together, we eat together, right? Just like when we travel together on a on a on a camel, for example, you're in close proximity of each other. So I I just find that that Islamic culture, however varied it is, whether it be as you rightfully said, Somali or Malay or Guyanese or West Indian or Arab or Pakistani or Indian or Afghani, right? That we we all reflect that beautiful Islamic culture of consuming food.

SPEAKER_00 12:28

Thanks for sharing. You know, when I lived in Egypt, I experienced something very beautiful. Uh despite uh, you know, we had our challenges in terms of resources to, you know, there are times then we when we did not literally did not had money to buy food, CD. And I not that I don't want to focus on that, but now that you're talking, we're talking and discussing about this, that there will be brothers, you know, who will call you and invite you to have a meal. And while their meal was quite small, a small portion, that when it was like the rice from Senegal or whatever it is, right? That there was a minimal but it was abundant blessing. There will be 15 people around the small plate of food that they will invite. Like uh they will invite you over, or you're waiting for them to come and say, We're eating now, come over, right? And despite um, it was a small portion, there was there was barakah in the food, despite of the small portion, and you know, uh, and that comes back to what the Prophet that there's barakah in Jama'a. Can you can you talk a little bit about that? You know, like because it's my personal experience, you know?

SPEAKER_01 13:40

Yeah, so there's a famous, famous hadith uh in uh Adab al-Mufrat of Imam al-Bukhari. Basically, the poor the poor Muslims in the time of the Prophet, peace be upon him, had no home. And what they did was they camped out at the back of the masjid of the Prophet, right? And in time they came to be known as Ashab al-Sufa, right? The people of the race platform, meaning that there was a park there that was their home, so to say. They slept there, they stayed there, and so on and so forth. And as we know, Muslims know, if the non-Muslims who are listening, the Prophet's home was adjacent to his mosque. It was a physical connection between the masjid and the prayer hall of the Prophet, peace be upon him, and his home where he stayed, his apartment. And so one day he came out and he saw Abu Huraira, the famous companion of the Prophet. His name was Abu Huraira, and he was he was writing on the ground, you know, he was he was on the ground and he was clearly in pain, right? And the Prophet, peace be upon him, recognized that Abu Huraira was hungry, that he didn't have any food. And when you don't have any food, when your stomach is empty, it's you fold over in pain, right? You you literally like that. And Abu Bakr had come out and he saw Abu Raira knew, he didn't know what was going on. Omar came out, Radi Allahu Ta'ala, and he didn't know what was going on. But the Prophet didn't even have to ask a question. He said to Abu Raira, Come with me, Ya Abura. So he called him by his nickname, Ya Abahir, father of the cats. Come with me. So they went in the house, and the Prophet called out to his wife and said, Is there anything in the house to eat? And she said, Yeah, a bowl of milk had arrived. A bowl. So let's assume it's it's a bowl like this. A bowl of milk had arrived. Someone sent a bowl of milk to the house. And the Prophet said, Bring it. Now, in the hadith, in the commentary, they said that the people of the house of the Prophet said, What are we gonna eat now? He's gonna give our Abu Hurrah all this milk, and he we're not gonna get anything. So they felt in their mind that they were going to be deprived. So the Prophet brought the milk, and then he says to Abu Hurairah, he said, Ya Bahir, go call Ashabu Sufa. Go call them to come. And Abu Rairah narrated the hadith, and he said, My heart fell at that morgan because I felt like, wow, if I bring Asab Sufa, Ashab Sufa could range from anything of 70 people up towards, right? So the minimum number of people that were part of the bench at the back of the masjid of the Prophet was 70 when they counted them. So we don't know how many there were at that time, but maybe 70 or more, okay? And they wouldn't have been able to fit into the apartment of the Prophet. So they lined up in the the they sat around in the masjid and then spilled out into the into the actual Musala area, right? The prayer hall. And then the Prophet took the bowl and he read over it and he gave it to Abu Hurayrah and he said, take it around. So now he's going to serve the guests, right? But who's gonna do it? Abu Hurairah. Serve the guests. So Abu Huraira goes, he gives it to the first person, second, third, they all drank, drank, grand, grand, grand, grand, grand. How many uh we don't know the exact number of how many people were there at that particular time, but thousands, and they all drank, and then it came back to the Prophet, peace be upon him, and he says to Abu Hurairah, you drink. Abu Huraira narrated that he drank, and then he looked at the Prophet, and the Prophet drink again, and he said, I drank again, and again, and again, and again, and the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam kept telling him, he said, Till till my stomach anymore. And I said, and he said to the Prophet, I've had enough. And then the Prophet took it and he drank, right? And then give it to the the other members of the household who were behind the curtain, right? His wife, and so on and so forth. And so the the in in Adab al-Mufrat, they they say the commentators say that food has barakah, it expands, right? And a small amount, like you said, with your friends, could feed many mouths, right? By the blessings of God Almighty when food is shared, when food is shared, it expands, right? When food is abhorted, it shrinks. You see, and that hadith summarizes the beautiful aspect of sharing food, right, in the Islamic culture.

SPEAKER_00 18:38

So, yeah, and that comes comes back to what the Prophet he says, you know, uh Ta'am al-Wahri yakfiril it's nine, wa taam it's you know, he says the food for one is enough for two, and the food for two is enough for for for four, actually. And that is because you know, barakah is not mathematics, it's a spiritual, it's a spiritual multiplication, you know. Like so, as you know, I went to I went to Senegal and Gambia, right? And here in the West, we don't eat in one pattern, you know. I don't there's at least this is not a practice we that people are accustomed to here, very minimal. And so when I went to to Senegal and we had these events, uh they wanted to treat me in such a way that I'm comfortable. So as they were eating together in in plates, right, together in it with a group, they were trying to bring food for me in a separate to sit separately. And I said, no, I you know, this is my tradition, and and basically I'll sit with them. I sat with them and I'll tell you there is no hierarchy who eats from which plate and or what plate. Sheikh Ibrahim and myself and the and a normal guy that is around the village, whoever comes around, they just come and sit on the plate without selecting who goes on which plate or who eats from which plate. So as we sit, we sit, one of the things that that I learned from this experience, right, because it has been a while, that everyone eats from one dish, and that teaches us discipline. It teaches at least at least it taught me humility to be humble and to be grateful for what we have. And and that awareness, you know, like that that dawn on me then that subhanAllah, the barakah uh that Allah has poured on to communities that are simple, because even simple is eating, that is a barakah that we you know we have to be grateful and thankful for. There's a sense of contentment. I see that sense of contentment uh in in these simple villages that I've experienced, you know. Um, you know, I I'll probably ask, you know, how does eating together soften the hearts and and and remove uh spiritual uh spiritual arrogance? Um can you because but I think about this. When you when you wrote the article, I I went through the article and I was thinking about like how the the tables are set generally, right? Like if you go into a home, your table set, that a person there's a sense of hierarchy in some of the tables, the way it's set, who sits where, and even like the maids can't sit on the table. In Islam, it's it's totally different. Um, can you speak a little bit about that? You know, how can the Islamic setting of a table um helps us to grow spiritually and also it softens our heart to some extent, too, right? Like my experience that I shared.

SPEAKER_01 21:40

Well, I mean, in my experience in Yemen, I was in Yemen in Tarim, um in which is in Hadra Maut in 2010, and uh at a conference, and there were many, many, many, many scholars, big, big scholars, Sheikh Said al Ramadana. Al-Bhutti was there, um Sheikha Usam al-Azari from Egypt was there. Many mashives from both in Yemen and uh and Hadur Ahmad, but also from across the Muslim world were there. And we would go uh into the room, we went, we were ushered into a room, a big hall, and everyone was sitting on the ground, and there was no plates in there, right? So you you sit in like clusters of maybe six or seven people, right? And there was one guy, one guy who was directing traffic, and he would he would say where to sit, right? And you don't know necessarily what, and you can't if you look for your friends, so I'm looking for my friends, I'm looking for people I'm familiar with, right? And he said, and he pointed to that table, to that uh cluster in the far corner. I went, and it turned out to be an eclectic group of people. Thankfully, some of them spoke English as well, right? Because I'm not an Arabic speaker. And we sat there and then the food came, right? But by the time we were finished, I knew all those guys that were in my cluster. They knew something about me, I knew something about them, I knew what they were doing there, where they were staying, how they find the weather, how they find the culture in Hadramaut. And I didn't know some of them could have been much more learned than I am, right? But they were all fascinated in finding out about each other. And part of the Sunnah of the Prophet, the tradition of the Prophet, is to have a conversation. Obviously, not with food in your mouth, but during your eating to have a conversation, right? Yeah. And I find that that is something remarkable about Islamic culture. That over food, you don't I didn't argue with the guy and say, no, no, I want to sit over there. You just follow whatever he is the one in control of the room. He is, he wasn't even the host, but he is the one given the permission, given the authority to make sure everybody is satiated, everybody is eaten, everybody's happy and and and comfortable, right? And that food is not wasted. That's this guy has got this job, right? And when you follow it, you know, it was just like it makes you reflect on just sitting in a room, having food with someone, and at the end of this, whatever, four to five minutes, you get dessert, you get tea as well, some coffee, all of that served in that little cluster. In that 50 minutes or so that we spent there eating before Zhuhar Salah, uh, I knew everybody in that in my little cluster. And so when I see them outside and the masjid and so on and so forth, at night for for for uh Isha or in the morning for Fajr, we're like there's a camaraderie, uh a bond that extends itself beyond the food, right? And and that is the practical, spiritual, nourishing aspect of eating together.

SPEAKER_00 25:05

Subhanallah. Uh that thank you so much for sharing. Um, you know, those stories uh will always, you know, resonate with me and also with many of the viewers because we remember this personal experience. Our personal experience shape us who we are and also it somehow inspire others. Now, us being from the West, right? Um, as I mentioned, that you don't really see uh many families eating together these days because of work and uh other chores and responsibility that they may have. Do you think this is a last practice with from uh the Muslim homes? Because I I one of the concerns that many families they have that they don't get time to eat at least one meal per day with their families and their children around the table. Forget about the concept of eating from one plate. I'm I'm talking about families coming together under table uh to have a meal like lunch or dinner, and how how harmful that is, you know, like because I know everybody's behind the dunya, they work, they want to pay, they have bills to pay, and they don't get that same time to sit together to eat.

SPEAKER_01 26:15

Well, that's that's that's a good point. And and and many, many articles and essays and books even have been written on that that aspect of of decline. Because let probably about 50, 60 years ago, uh that would have been unheard of, that a family would not sit together and and and have a meal, at least one meal a day, right? If not breakfast, then dinner. Right? And I know lunch, lunch has become something that's you know, we're working and so on and so forth. It's that's difficult to have lunch together, but at least dinner. And that decline has been a result of not only work uh and and the demise of a particular cultural uh um pattern or cultural behavior and traditional behavior, but television um now with people, the kids on their tablets, you know, they go to their room and I'm gonna eat later, I'm not gonna eat. And in some, but in some, fortunately, in some traditional Muslim and non-Muslim family, um a father, a very strong parental uh presence in the home will ensure that that that doesn't that does not happen. Right. And uh to insist that at least um uh one meal a day is consumed by the people around the table, where you would say prayers, you would say a blessing, right? Or you would say the du'a together, the supplication that the Prophet Pizza upon him taught us. Um, and you would then eat and have a conversation and you know ask about how the day went and so on and so forth. With that being gone, what happens is that now you have families that are without sort social cohesion, families that are broken, families that don't appreciate food and where it comes from. You have children don't know that chicken is actually an animal that you have to kill and you have to sacrifice and clean and and and and and and and to bring to you know, prepare and so on before it gets to your table. Uh when they find out that it's an animal, they're like, what? No, there's a farm that actually farmers grow this stuff. So they don't know where food has come from, they don't know where it's come from, so they can't appreciate that this is actual real food produced by farmers in a market in a in a in a in on a farm and then brought to you and prepared by your mother, right? So they see fast food. They can go to Kentucky Fried Chicken and they don't know that they're rude to the people behind the counter, or they're rude to the fast food uh chain that they go to. So food is fast, it's easy, it's convenient, and therefore it can be wasted, it can be thrown away, it can be taken for granted. And so when we don't have it, then it becomes a crisis, a crisis that affects us spiritually, right? And we know of so many people in the world that don't have water, drinking water, that don't have food, uh simple food that we take for granted to eat, right? And so Muslim families, I I start with Muslim families, but other families as well. But I am particularly incessed about Muslim families who don't take this seriously enough to make it a tradition, to hold that tradition in their families. Insist that their restaurants now that you can go to, they forbid you from taking out your cell phone. In fact, in the restaurant, they'll block the Wi-Fi. So you can't even use it, even your own Wi-Fi, right? Um you know, husband and wife go out for dinner and insist that the cardinal rule is that no one answers their phone. No one takes out their phone, right? And they looked at restaurant culture and so on. People end up spending a lot more time but eating less food. And this is actually a real study that was done a couple of years ago, right? They wanted to know why restaurants are failing, that the restaurants are getting lots of business, but people are staying longer. Why? Because they're taking longer to order because they're on their phones texting and messaging and things like that, right? So the restaurants were cut their business was going down while their traffic was going up. So how can the two things not uh coincide with more business, with more money, right? With more revenue, because people were coming, they're staying longer, they're spending a lot of time on their phones and so on and so forth. So we have to really get back to even in the in the time of plenty, in an age of plenty, to get back to living lives that are more purposeful and more meaningful when it comes to food and consuming food.

SPEAKER_00 31:06

Shaykh, thank you so much uh for those insights. You know, every time we have a conversation, uh whatever subject it may be, I always learn from you. And Allah bless you with wisdom and knowledge and continue to increase your your knowledge and wisdom so that you may be able to share it um around the world, and you know, particularly in Guyana, now that you're in Guyana. Um I want to thank you for uh your time and for all the work that you're doing. And I'm honored to say that I have a friend like yourself. Thank you so much, may Allah bless you. In maybe three bulletin points. What do you think is necessary for us to leave our um our audience um uh as we conclude today's podcast?

SPEAKER_01 31:52

I would say one, recognize, teach your children the value of food, teach yourself the value of food. Two, to recognize that sharing food is a tremendous, tremendous benefit and blessing from God Almighty. And three, not to waste what we have, right? To consume food with meaning. And I think when we look at issues like obesity and we look at issues of health, food is a nourishment for the body, but it's also a nourishment for the soul. And and those are the three important points that I think we need to remember.

SPEAKER_00 32:32

Thank you so much. I want to uh encourage our viewers to follow our podcast. It's actually on Spotify, Apple, Apple Podcasts, and also on YouTube. And um, thank you so much. Uh salamu alaikum, wa rahmatullahi wa berkatu.