How Do We Cope? Faith, Psychology & Emotional Resilience | Coping Mechanisms | Episode 1

In this episode of the ISB Podcast (Inspire, Serve, Build), we explore how to respond to stress, hardship, and emotional challenges through a powerful blend of faith, psychology, and coaching insights.

Life will test us—through fear, loss, uncertainty, and disappointment—but how we respond determines our growth. This episode breaks down what coping mechanisms are, how they are formed, and how to manage emotions with wisdom rather than reaction.

This is the first episode in a series on coping mechanisms—designed to help you live with clarity, purpose, and inner peace.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:15

Peace and love be with all of you, and welcome to the ISB podcast Inspire and the Sarving Bill. It's a space where spiritual meets emotional well-being, where faith actually meets personal development, and where we explore how to live with purpose and how to live with clarity, and how to live with inner peace. Today I want to begin a very important series of coping mechanisms. How we respond to stress for many of us during the course of the day we experience stress, we experience hardship, we experience emotional pain, and also disappointment, uncertainty of what life basically has to offer in the coming days. So, how do we respond to this stress? How do we respond to hardship? How do we respond to emotional pain, disappointment, and also uncertainty of life, unexpected challenges? Every human being, despite who we are, experience some level of pressure. Every heart experiences moments of heaviness. Every mind carries thoughts that sometimes feel very overwhelming and very uh challenges. And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, God Almighty, uh, he actually mentioned in the glorious Quran, this is within the divine revelation that was sent down to our beloved Prophet Muhammad, may the peace and blessings of God be with him. That God Almighty, he says, and we can all relate to this despite what faith we may belong to. And I quote this Quran for us with that intent because we can all uh relate to it, where God says, and we will certainly test you with a measure of fear. He will test us with hunger, he will test us with loss of wealth, he will test us with loss of resources and fruits. But then in the end, he says, and give God tidings to those who are patient. When a calamity befalls them, they remember God and they say, In the lilami, in the illegar from God we come, and to him shall be our eventual return. Notice that in this Quranic verse, God did not say that if we are tested, but rather he said that certainly and for sure will be tested. So let's take a pause here and think about your life. That your life has ups and downs. My life has ups and downs. Sometimes I often say that life throws a curved ball at you, and you do not know how to sometimes bat that curveball and how to face that curved ball. But at the end of the day, that cov that carved ball is there and we have to face it. So in our faith, we believe that tests are part of the human journey, it's a part of the journey of life. But in our faith, the faith of Islam does not leave us without some level of guidance, that there is guidance. How do we cope with this coping mechanism? God provides spiritual tools, the prophet provides emotional wisdom, and also modern psychology provides a practical framework that we can actually use to help us understand the mind. And today, you know, let's take a moment and explore coping mechanism from three very important perspectives: religious guidance, an academic understanding, and also uh some coaching application. But let me say this that before healing, we must address the whole person, we must address a person its entirety, the mind, the heart, and we must address as well the soul. And the first thing I would like to say that let's define and try to understand what coping mechanism is. A coping mechanism is actually a way we manage stress. How we manage that stress, that mechanism, how we manage emotional discomfort, how we manage pressure that we face because of various factors, how we manage fear, how we manage disappointment or even trauma that we may experience. And in psychology, coping mechanisms mechanisms are actually defined as a cognitive and behavioral effort that is used to manage internal and external demands that are perceived as overwhelming. And to simply put this over, I'll say that how do you respond when life becomes difficult? Some people will probably react with patience, some people will react with anger. We become very upset and angry and agitated. Some of us we try to compose ourselves and to be patient and adorn ourselves with patience and perseverance, and some may be somehow withdrawn, withdrawn. Some may want to blame others, right? Some you will see during this process of hardship and trials and tribulations may grow. Then you are able to excel, that these low points allow them to grow. And some may break as well. There are many that when challenges come, when stress comes, when this emotional discomfort comes, when pressure comes, when disappointment comes, when trauma comes, they break, they cannot cope. And what happens, it may end up many have unalive themselves. So coping mechanism, I'll say that, are learned behaviors. Learned behaviors, some of them are formed in childhood, some basically are shaped by the very environment that we are in, and some are shaped by trauma, and some are basically shaped by faith. So let's take a moment and think about what some of the psychologists say about this, right? Psychologists they often divide coping into two main categories: problem focus coping, and that is when you address the problem directly. And an example to cite with this one is like seeking advice. You make a plan, you may talk to someone about it. What to do, how to deal with this that you are actually experiencing. You make a plan. What I'm gonna do. You take initiatives and taking actions and seeking knowledge, and you have the second an emotion-focused cope, and that is how you manage emotional response, how you manage that. So there are some people that actually resort to prayer, they lean on their faith, and and and once faith and belief system is a strong coping mechanism in this in this regard. So prayer and reflection helps. Journaling as well. Did you go through a problem, hardship, trials? You you get a journal, you document it, and as you write, it is as if that you're relief in the problems that you have. You're releasing the problems that you have. You could feel that there are many people somehow through journaling find comfort and seek and support meditation and breathing techniques. These are things like when you're you're stressed out, that you know you have certain breathing techniques that professionals will tell you that you breathe in a particular way, you take a deep breath, meditation also helps, you know, and both of this that Islam actually encourages our faith encourages this, and this is something that is encouraged uh by many faith backgrounds, and you know. That Islam being uh a religion of uh of reality, of realistic religion, it teaches us something amazing, and that is responsibility. That we must take responsibility and we must put our reliance in God. Two things responsibility and put our reliance in God. So it is said tie your camel and trust in God, meaning take precaution, you do not leave your camel unattended, not tied, not secured, and say, you know, it will be safe. You take your precaution and you leave the rest and put your trust in the divine. So that's that's quite important. So focus on that, be aware of that. The second thing I want to talk about is that that there are certain behavior uh emotional uh human emotional system, right? We must understand that that God created a human being with emotions. That we were this body that we have, it's a shell. But there are many things that go on, many things that go on within us, they're emotions, and God created the human beings with emotions. Be aware of your emotions, understand them, understand how it it basically causes you to react. So, fear, when we have fear, it protects us. Anger, when we are angry, it alerts us to injustice, sadness, that emotion of sadness, it helps us to process loss. Also, when we have hope, it motivates us. And love, when we have love, that emotion, what it does, it connects us, it connects us. So try to understand the human emotional system, and then when you're experiencing a particular emotion, what it actually does and how it makes you feel. Emotion is not the problem. Mismanaging emotions are the problem. Not being able to manage your emotions and allowing your emotions to have the better version of yourself. Modern psychology identifies it as part of the brain responsibility for emotional reaction, especially when it comes to fear and when it comes to basically anxiety. And when stress occurs, what happens? The brain activities activates the brain activates the fight, the flight or freeze response. So the time of stress, something happens, something happens in the brain. That brain activates, it flights. So fight means anger and defensiveness. Freeze meaning that you feel stuck, you can't really do anything, you become very overwhelmed. And in our faith, at Islam, it teaches us the importance of regulating our emotions, the importance of regulating our emotions. The Prophet Muhammad, may the peace and blessings of God be with him, he demonstrated right emotional intelligence and that emotional intelligence, she was able to regulate it. We manage our emotions with wisdom. And when insulted, the Prophet Muhammad, may the peace and blessings of God be with him. You know, he showed patience. So patience is something that we should have. Right? He showed patience. When hurt, he showed forgiveness. And when he was tested, he shows something important that is needed, and that is resilience. And emotional intelligence is not weakness. Emotional intelligence is strength. It's a positive strength under control. Here are words of the Prophet. May the peace and blessings of God be with him, right? He said the strong person is not the one who overcomes others by strength. A mature man, a strong man is not that person that overcomes another because you're strong. I'm strong, I can overcome you. He says, the strong person, the one who controls himself while in anger. So self-regulation is a very powerful coping skill. Very powerful coping skill. And one of the greatest gifts that God has given the believer is actually the spiritual coping tools. And these are tools, not they are not abstract, they are very practical. Right? Despite who you are, what faith you may belong to, prayer helps. So prayer, it actually regulates emotional imbalance. Prayer, it interrupts anxiety cycles. Prayer, what it does, it creates spiritual grounding. And as Muslims, we are commanded in the glorious Quran, seek help through patience and prayers. Prayer is not only ritual, prayer is actually an emotional recalibration. Right? So remember, whatever faith you may belong to, from the spiritual side, uh a spiritual coping mechanism, prayer helps. The second is the remembrance, or what we call in our faith as the dhikr. And the dhikr, God Almighty says in Quran chapter two, verse 45, he says, Allah the thikrila that ma'indulob he says, indeed, in you know uh in the remembrance of God, the heart uh attains tranquil, right? So repetition of words that calms the heart. So, words of glorification, words of praises, words of gratitude, author in the name of God, despite what faith you may belong to, you have your conviction. For Muslims, we will say the word subhanAllah, glory be to God. We will say Allahu Akbar, God is the greatest, acknowledging his greatness. We will say Alhamdulillah, all praises is for God, despite what comes at you, we say all praises is for God, and we embrace that challenge. So the dhikr and the remembrance of God, it slows down racing thoughts. The dhikr and the remembrance of God, it centers attention, it reduces anxiety, and this is what again we are told in the glorious Quran. Indeed, in the remembrance of God, the heart uh finds rest. So notice in this Quranic verse, the word rest tranquil and rest. Rest is a coping state. Let's go to the other supplication, petition to God. It when you make petition, it releases emotional burden. Uh speaking to God actually uh reduces internal pressure. And the Prophet, with the peace and blessings of God be with him, he he said this. He said, Oh God, I hope for your mercy. Do not leave me to myself, even for a blink of an eye. And this petition teaches emotional. Awareness, right? That we don't carry everything alone, but rather we lean on God, we lean on a power that is greater than our power, and that is the Almighty. So it's important. So the other thing that I want to speak with, speak about very uh briefly, that there are some very unhealthy coping patterns. Not all coping mechanisms are considered to be beneficial, right? Beware, understand that not all coping mechanisms are beneficial, some coping habits temporarily reduces stress, but in the long term, what happens is that there is harm. And an example to this that people who actually avoid certain things, denial anger, and reactions in terms of isolation, substance dependence, emotional suppression, overworking, seeking constant validation from people, negative thinking. So when you start avoiding things for a period of time, it may help you now, but long term it has a problem. You're in a state of denial, not wanting to embrace certain things that may help for a period of time, but long term it causes issues. You isolate yourself, long-term harm. You suppress your emotion, long-term harm. So let's put this in perspective. Someone feels hurt because of whatever reason it is, and what you do, you start avoiding addressing the issue. When you do that, internally, resentment builds, and here is that you have another person experience anxiety, and they distract themselves endlessly with social media all the time. Problem you're in social media, you're in social media, you're actually trying to uh deal with your matter in that way by that distraction, but anxiety remains unresolved. I'll say that temporal relief does not equal to healing, it does not, and in our faith, we are we are encouraged to reflect, and we are told by one of the great companions of the prophet, and he says, take account of yourselves before you are taken into account. So self-awareness, self-awareness is essential for emotional growth. So ask yourself, ask yourself this important thing, right? And that is do my coping habits bring peace? Do they increase pressure or not? That is what you need to ask yourself. And the last thing I want to mention that actually in coaching, awareness is the first step of transformation. You cannot change what you do not understand. Many people react automatically, right? Something happens, emotion rises, and what happens, reaction follows. But emotional intelligence introduces a pause between stimulus and response. There is a space between stimulus, and there's a space between the response. In that space lies choice, choice, what happens it determines your growth. In coaching, we you know we were taught to ask what am I feeling? Why am I feeling this? What is the best response? And what aligns with my very values? Again, our scripture, the Quran, encourages reflection. Will you not reflect the Quran? Reflection, what it does, it builds clarity. Clarity builds wisdom, and wisdom builds peace. To speak about coping mechanism through these lenses that I've highlighted, I want to say to all of you that life is not easy. Things will happen in your life, but how you react to that is what matters. So ask yourself these questions. How do I react on the pressure? Be mindful of that. Because how you react on the pressure will determine how your life will be. Do I react impulsively? Or I think and I react. Pause. Important, very important. Do I withdraw emotionally? And if you do, it's not healthy for you. Understand how you're reacting and how that's affecting you. So if you're withdrawing emotionally, then it affects you and affect the people that are around you. Do I blame others? You blaming others, would it help? Are you seeking sympathy or are you seeking to deal with the matter that you're facing? And to be strong emotionally, mentally, and physically, what's your relationship with the divine? Those are questions I want to leave you all with. I want to thank you all so much for um tuning into this podcast. I'll say kindly subscribe to the YouTube channel, Safras Bacchus, S-A-F-R-A-Z, B-A-C-C-H-U-S, Life Institute. Subscribe and share. And I hope that you've learned something and that these words uh will be an inspiration for you and will help you in some way. Uh, kindly stay tuned for our upcoming uh episode on coping mechanism. We are discussing coping mechanism, and today's discourse will be centered around, will centered around definition and the various ways of coping mechanism mechanism from a psychologist perspective, from spirituality, and from a coaching perspective. Thank you all so much. Love you all. Uh, peace and love.