The 4 Types of Coping Mechanisms | Coping Mechanisms | Episode 2

What are the different ways we cope with stress and pressure? In this episode, Safraz Bacchus breaks down four key coping styles: problem-focused, emotion-focused, meaning-focused, and social coping.

With clear examples and practical advice, you’ll learn how to manage challenges, regulate emotions, find meaning in hardship, and build supportive connections. A helpful guide for anyone navigating stress, uncertainty, or personal growth.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:17

Peace and love be with all of you, and welcome to ISB podcast. This is a series that we commence and we are speaking about or discussing coping mechanism, understanding how we respond to stress, how we respond to pressure, and how we respond to uncertainty and the many emotional challenges that we actually face in life. In the first session, we explored and chatted about coping mechanism, what actually is copen mechanism, and why is it essential and important for our well-being in general. In this session, we will discuss something quite deeper. And I'll say that we will discuss the types of copen mechanism, using psychological understanding, some coaching insights, and also we will use relatable real life examples, meaningful parables, and also spiritual reflections on our inner balance. Because coping is not only about managing stress, it's not about how we manage stress, it's about developing wisdom and how we respond generally to life. Every one of us, despite who we are, experience moments of pressure. After a difficult conversation we may have with someone, we experience that pressure during that conversation, and sometimes we feel very overwhelmed after that conversation. We may experience um financial strain, not having uh sufficient financial resources to take care of ourselves and that of our families and our daily need that could cause a lot of pressure as well. We may have certain expectations of family members, certain expectations of our uh partners, certain expectations of our children, and they're not meeting that expectation, and and and you're somehow feeling overwhelmed, or we have that experience a moment of pressure. Health challenges. You know, with the family expectations that they might have certain expectations of you, and basically you're not able to meet those expectations, and you push yourself and you experience that that that pressure as well, health challenges that you may face, life-threatening illness, disappointments from people that you trust, uh, moments of pressure because uh of not knowing what the future lies, uncertainty about our very uh our very future. So some situations we can change. There are certain things that could change. But some situations we must learn how to manage those situations internally. So, in a synopsis, not all of these situations can change, but we have to learn how to manage them. When we think of coping mechanisms, we should know that they are healthy coping mechanisms that helps us uh during our life uh to respond in a very thoughtful way, right? We respond in a thoughtful way rather than we respond and react in an emotional way, right? And so let's take a moment and start to focus on the different types of coping mechanism. And the first type that I would like to touch on would be problem-focused coping. And many psychologists, when discussing this, they describe this problem-focused coping as the ability, having the ability to address basically the cause of stress directly. So you look at what's causing the stress and you address that directly. So instead of you feeling somehow powerless, not having the ability to do this, you feel that you can do this, that it's becoming hard for you. The individual looks for practical steps forward, you look for practical ways how you can deal with this. And an example to cite is that a person experiencing, for example, uh work stress due to heavy workload. Right? So, because of the excessive workload that you have, you you experience the stress due to due to that. So, what what you do? You learn to look at the situation, you prioritized the task as to what is important, and you place them on a list and you put priority number one, priority number two, priority number three. Or if that becomes stressful for you, you delegate responsibilities because there are people when they have a task, they don't want to ask people for help. They want to do everything themselves because they feel that people around them do not do it to the to the uh expectations that they have. But we have to learn to say, okay, I can do this much alone, and therefore I will delegate this responsibility to someone else. So learn to delegate responsibilities. And the other important thing that many fail to do is how, if you have a task, how to manage your time. You do not wait in the last moment to do something, right? But rather you try to do that thing in a diligent way and give your give yourself sufficient time to manage that. And if there's something that you do not understand and it becomes stressful, then what you do, learn to seek clarification. Do not feel you go into your supervisor, asking your supervisor for clarification. Or can you explain this? What do you mean by seeking clarification that there is something negative about it? But rather you're showing some level of responsibility by seeking clarification with something that you may not understand. So rather than uh feeling uh you know, overwhelmed about uh uh a work that you have or a task that you have, the person creates some level of what uh structure. So uh as we discuss this as well, you know, we learn that clarity reduces anxiety. Remember that clarity it reduces anxiety, and when the mind sees a plan, that you see that plan, the emotional pressure it decreases, it decreases at that particular time. And let me share with you a real life example. A family experience, for example, financial difficulty. So here is it that you have a family that experiences difficulties in the home, and instead of ignoring the situation, they take a moment and they do something very important, and that is what they review the expenses. They review the expense, they create a budget, they explore uh how the possibility that they can have additional income, uh, opportunities that may be there that they did not see, how they can get additional income. At each one of these steps, every single step, it creates a sense of direction. So it's vital and important to when uh you have an issue, not to ignore it, but what you do, you sit down, you review, and you take steps to tackle that issue. You know, uh let me share a parable with you, right? That you have a traveler that's traveling, and that traveler, for example, becomes lost somehow uh in the forest. So instead of sitting down in a panic, you know, panicking because you, you know, basically you're at loss instead of that. What happens is that you do something. What is it?

SPEAKER_01 9:39

The traveler tooks looks for signs, observe the direction of the sunlight, and he slowly finds the path.

SPEAKER_00 9:51

He did not sit down and he panics, but rather he take he took steps, he looks around, he observes, he looks at the sunlight, and gradually he tried to find a solution to the problem. So movement actually creates possibility. So remember that. Taking responsibility, you know, there's something beautiful that happens. What happens that when you take responsibility and you're and you take responsible actions, it builds confidence, and it and it also strengthens uh your inner stability. It becomes stable internally, it builds your confidence because why? You're taking actions, not mere actions, but responsible actions. That you think about the action that you're about to do, you think about the step that you're about to take, and ask yourself if it is a responsible one or not. Now many people feel in their life, if not now, in the future that they will fail if they're not responsible in their actions, if they're not responsible in their decision making. So action is often the first step towards um finding inner peace. So that's why the other uh type of coping is emotion-focused coping. And emotion-focused coping, what it does, it helps us to regulate our feelings when situations cannot immediately be changed. So you have a situation that cannot be changed immediately. So when you're able to cope, to regulate your feeling in that situation, that is called emotion-focused coping because it that coping helps you to regulate whatever is going on inside of you in a particular situation that you know that you cannot change immediately because it's not in your hand to change immediately. And psychologists, when dealing with this, they are saying that it emphasizes the importance of emotional regulation skills to prevent impulsive actions. And even in our theology as Muslims, right, that we are advised by the Prophet Muhammad to think and reflect before we act. I know that there are effects for our actions. And if we jump and make decisions based on our emotions alone, that you will probably regret it. So let me give an example about this. Um you have a caregiver, and that caregiver is supporting an elderly parent may feel overwhelmed emotionally. So healthy coping strategies may include speaking with supportive friends, engaging in reflective journaling, taking short breaks, maintaining self-care routines. So you have this situation where someone is taking care of an elderly parent, becomes overwhelmed. So what do you do? Try to deal with that overwhelm that you speak with someone, you chat with someone, that someone or that person or that friend listens to you, and you feel as if someone is basically assisting you. You engage in reflective journaling, you take a moment and write, document, and as you're documenting your relief in you know, basically whatever uh pressure you may be in, and you know, you yourself feel overwhelmed. There's some level of uh of relief. Taking short breaks. When you feel overwhelmed emotionally, also take care of yourself. Make sure that you you center your attention to yourself and make sure that this overwhelmed emotions that you are having does not cause you to fall, right? So emotions are signals, it is not actually instructions, and feeling stress does not mean reacting impulsively. So when you're feeling stressful, it does not mean that you know you react in an impulsive way, but it means pausing and it means choosing a very wise respond during that particular time. So let's let's look at something you maybe we can discuss a little bit here, right? Uh that you have a professional person receive criticism at work. And here is that person, instead of reacting in a in a defensive way, should I add professional, how can that person criticize me? Right? We cannot take sometimes, people cannot take criticism. Someone criticizes you, you have a problem with it, despite who you are. Constructive criticism, you know what? You should not uh react in a defensive way. So instead of reacting defensively, because you as a professional receive criticism in your work, the individual takes time to reflect and to respond what in a calm way. And when you are matured emotionally, that creates growth, professional growth. So here is a parable that I will share. Did you have a glass of muddy water becomes clear when left undisturbed? When you take that glass of muddy water and you shake it, clarity does not appear. Stillness allows understanding. Beautiful, amazing. Reflect on that, take it with you, understand that, and from a spiritual side, let's reflect from a spiritual side that inner calm helps us see situation more clearly. When we have that inner peace, it helps us to see situation in a more better way, and peaceful response often lead to better outcomes. And if you live with that awareness, then I think you're able to cope better in this particular way. Now, there is another type of cop that I want to speak about, and that is meaning focus cope. And that is finding growth in the difficulties that we experience. There are many people that that that's uh I'll say uh experience hardship and difficulties and they fall on their knees. But there are other people like when you're focused, you cope and you find growth. You you excel, you grow in the midst of the darkness, you grow. And psychologists, when dealing with this, right, explain that people often cope better when they find meaning uh in challenging experiences. And from a religious side, as a Muslim, uh, I'm taught that God will test us in so many different ways and challenges. He will give us, uh He will place in front of us hardship, and in the midst of that hardship, you peer through it with an awareness, awareness that this is temporary, and you find some strength to deal with it, and you grow in the midst of that situation, and this is some you know, sometimes it's called cognitive reframing, and cognitive reframing means that you're seeing difficulty difficulty from a perspective that allows learning and growth. That you're looking at this hardship, this situation of difficulty. That how do you look at it? You look at it through a lens that this is teaching me something. I learn from it. I don't stress out because of it, but I learn from it, and it grows from that learning. So let me share an example with this type, right? That you have an athlete, for example, experiencing a major setback because of some injury that person may have, right? And that athlete may have. At first, the athlete becomes very frustrated, becomes very frustrated, and the frustration becomes very intense because this is an athlete, and there's this setback. Athletes often have goals that they want to meet. But what happens is that you know there's a setback, and at first, frustration becomes very intense, and but later that very athlete develops patience, which is something that our religion calls for, our religious denomination advocates patience, right? The athlete not only did he or she develop patience, mental strength, and they also develop a deeper understanding of of uh of discipline, what discipline is all about. So the challenge of that very athlete becomes a part of a personal development, a process where that person's able to somehow become better or find a better version of themselves. So let me put it this way a seed, for example, must grow through darkness. We need the soil before it grows into a tree.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

Pressure is actually a part of development. Remember that you think of a seed that you place that seed in.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Soil, and then as you place it in the darkness between the soil, it grows, it buds, and then grows into a tree and something very beautiful and beneficial. So I'll say pressure is a part of our very development. So someone, for example, experience rejection from their job, uh you know, job opportunity, right? And later on, they discover something. What did they discover? A role that is better suited for their strengths. So we'll say that perspectives change emotional experience. Perspective, if we change our perspective, our emotional experience also changes. So let's take a moment in Plunder that sometimes life redirects us towards path we could not initially see. But what we do, we trust the process. Trust in the process often, what it does, it reduces uh internal resistance. So be mindful of that, be cognizant of that, and then you have social copen. And I'll say human beings in general, right, um, are natural social beings. So we were taught that psychologists they emphasize the importance of supporting relationships from for emotional well-being. And also our faith as Muslims, the Prophet Muhammad informs us that you know that our friendship should not be built on uh built on material things, but our friendship should be built on mutual love and care from one another. So when we have a support system around us, right, what happens is it it helps because there is no strings that is attached. So let's take a moment and give another example, right? That you have a university student, and that university student feels overwhelmed because of academic pressure. So think of that, right? That you have a son, or you as a person that you're feeling stressed out because of your academic work. So after speaking with a mentor, what happens to that student is that student gains encouragement and practical and basically uh practical advice, right? How they should go about doing it. So that that that student did not just sit, but rather he took the time to speak to a mentor, and that mentor, you know, somehow encouraged them, and that person gained you know some level of clarity through that conversation, the student gained some level of clarity. So let's think about that. Let's think about this type of coping where you speak with someone, you trust someone, you speak with, you interact with someone. So remember this parable that a single tree may struggle against strong wind, but the forest of trees support one another and withstands the storm. So you have one tree that stands by itself, and the strong wind comes and it shakes it left, right, bending from one end to the next. But if you have a forest of trees that supports each other, it will have the capacity to withstand that storm. So you standing it alone when you're overwhelmed, in comparison with you standing it with multiple individuals, it's a big difference. Because you feel supported, you have a wall to lean on, you have a shoulder to lean on. So that's key for you to remember. So when you have a support system, it strengthen resilience, right?

SPEAKER_01 27:23

It's strengthen what resilience.

SPEAKER_00 27:26

Healthy relationships, I'll say that what happens is it contribute to emotional balance and personal growth. And I hope that as we discuss these types of coping mechanisms, that basically you will find a way to deal with the many challenges that you experience. Experiencing challenges is a part of life. Do not allow these challenges to bring you down, but rather be firm, be resilient, and understand that at the time of challenges, hold on to your faith, hold on to your friends, hold on to the people around you, think before you act, try to understand your emotions, and basically as you try to understand your emotions, try to make decisions that is wise. I want to thank you all for listening uh to today's episode as we discuss a few types of coping mechanisms, and I do hope that these words will bring some level of comfort to you. Kindly stay tuned for the tored up uh episode as we discuss uh copen mechanism. My name is uh Safras Bacchus, and basically I'll encourage you to follow me on on uh Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and also uh YouTube. Kindly subscribe to the YouTube channel Safras Bacchus, S-A-F-R-A-Z, B-A-C-C-H-U-S, Life Institute, subscribe and share, and thank you all so much. Love you, um, and peace be with you all.