Faith in the Storm: Stories of Strength | Episode 3

What does it really mean to cope? In this episode, we break the misconception that coping is about being strong all the time. Through real-life stories of loss, illness, and hope, we explore how faith helps us keep moving—even when life feels unbearable.

This is a powerful reminder that pain is real, emotions are valid, and faith can guide us through it all.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:16

Peace and love be with you all, and welcome to another episode on the subject area of coping mechanism. Before I uh continue, I want to thank you all from the tip of my heart for the support that you have lent to this podcast and for your positive feedback and your input in making this possible. May the almighty bless you all and kindly do not hesitate to share the YouTube link. And those of you who are on Spotify, kindly share these episodes and also Apple Podcasts. All it takes is for you to listen, take a moment and listen. I'm sure that it will help you and assist you. In addition to this, just click the share button and share it with your families and your friends. You know, uh I'll say that many of times when we experience hardship and trials, one of the things that happens is that we often think that what is told to you, what is narrated to you, what you probably read, that is not something that is adaptable. In other words, that uh you might find it difficult for you to adopt, and you probably question yourself whether it works or not. And uh I'll say to you that despite our religious background, despite who we are, that our faith plays a very vital role in our copa and coping mechanism, our faith plays a very important role. And I want to say to you that while we're saying that, that there is uh real life examples that we can share with you, where individuals were in a very low point in their life, a low point to that extent when they they think that being alive is difficult for them, and that they see that there is no purpose in this very life that they live, and as such, the thought process of unaliving themselves and committing suicide lingers in their head, it whispers, and instantaneously through their faith, somehow, that they faith play a very important role as they think about and alive in themselves, that their faith pierced into their hearts, and they were able to stand on their feet. In other words, that God intervened in their lives with his divine intervention, their taught process and their faith, they lean on it, and when they lean on it, one of the things that happens is that they gather this strength that they received when from the divine, when Noah was able to help them, that strength was not there, that inner strength was not there, but God sends that into their hearts. So, therefore, I'll say that there are many examples that we can share, but I'll say this, right? I'll say that in life every human being will face moments that test the depth of their hearts. We are not immune of this. Then we will be tested, we will be tested with our children, we'll be tested with our partners, we will be tested with poverty, we'll be tested with the loss of people that we that is dear to us. So we will all face moments that test the depths, you know, the depth of their heart, the strength of the mind. We will be tested along that line and the resilience of our very soul. And I'll say that when we talk about coping, copen is often misunderstood. Many people think that copen means being strong at all times. When you're told to cope with what you have, deal with what you have, you automatically think that copen means that you need to be strong at all times, that if tears flow from your eyes, that is negative, never cry, never feel pain, never feel overwhelmed. But real cop is not perfection. When we say to you that you need to cope and that your faith can help you to cope, it does not mean perfection. What real cop actually means is that you learn how to continue live, to continue take a step forward every day, to get up from your bed despite what it is, and take that step towards your transformation, believing and growing, even when the very life that you live hurts. So faith does not remove that pain, right? It does not it does not remove that pain. When we talk of faith uh as a coping mechanism, we we should understand that faith gives meaning to our tears. It helps us to carry that pain. Our faith that we call our people to embrace that it does not prevent difficulty. But rather it directs us to a direction during that particular difficulty. And you know, in in this in this episode, I I want to share a few real life experiences to show how faith was able to be the cornerstone for many people as they face challenges. Not perfectly, but in a very meaningful way. You know, and I'll start with myself that one of the most difficult experiences in my life was when I lost my father, an imam spiritual leader, a teacher, an educator, someone that dealt with someone that dealt with the uh uh with deaths within our community in in multiple occasions and times, right? Someone that had to somehow help people in their challenging moments, and here is it that I'm experiencing that I'm experiencing the death of someone close to me, having to deal with that, having to cope with that, and having to somehow perform the duty as a son and the last rites as a son. And I'll sing within my immediate family members, the death of my father was the first death within the family. Immediate family members. My father passed away, then my mother. You know, that's it from the immediate family, sorry. So the death of my father was like a shock. And no matter how many knowledge, how much knowledge you may have, no matter how much faith we may have, when death touches our home, the heart feels it deeply. Do not think that a person of faith would not feel pain. And I can remember precisely when my father passed away 2016, what happened was I was heading to Canada for an event and also scheduled for khutbah at IMO in Toronto, and it was just before June that I received that call, thinking about the khutbah, and also having to think about traveling to Guyana, leaving Canada, returning back to New York, and then heading to Guyana to perform the last rites of my father. At that particular time when I received the news of my father's death, it seems as if the world stopped, right? Having to navigate between siblings and having to make a decision. At that moment, I'll say I was not thinking like an imam, I was thinking, I was thinking as a son, right? And as I said, I returned back to the US and traveled again. And as I I met my siblings, and I reached to my humble home in Potentia, where I grew up, memories began to somehow flood my mind, my childhood, uh, the sacrifices of my father, that he made, the struggles he went through, the challenges of the very society that he lived in, right? Those things came to my mind, and uh frankly speaking, it touched my heart, it hurt. Grief is real, and that even as an imam, as a community leader, I cried, even as a person of faith. I felt the heaviness that I've lost some someone, the life would not be the same. Despite I was here in New York and my dad was in Guyana, did you know in the back of your mind that your dad is there? Well, faith did not make us emotionless. Faith actually, it humanizes us, it guides us, and one of the things I say to myself as I was going through that pain, helping to bathe my dad, doing everything that I have to do, uh being there. One thing that comes to mind, and I tell myself, as a coping mechanism, I remind myself that death is not the ending of life, but rather beginning of an everlasting life, and that one day I will re be reunited with my father. That this step this separation is temporary. Our life in this world is temporary. That is what I told myself. I told myself from God we come and to him shall be our return. Because that is what my faith tells me. I had to live it. I did not read it, I did not communicate it. I tell myself that I speak to myself and I say this this world. We are all travelers, and our relationships that we have is considered to be a trust. Our time here is limited, and one of the ways I I I I cope after telling myself that these realities that I've just highlighted is focusing on the responsibility I have. And that I tell myself that as the responsible one within my sibling, and the one that has some level of knowledge and spirituality and faith, I tell myself I have to step up and take up that responsibility to ensure that the final rites were done properly in honor of my father and in a timely manner. And sometimes coping means moving into a very uh purposeful uh action, and that was a purposeful action to ensure that the last moments of my dad in this material world and his rights were somehow uh done. I'll say to all of you that our faith teaches us that honoring our loved ones includes fulfilling their rights after death, my life and your life, and you should remember that it's not forever, and that every soul shall face death. And when we accept the temporary nature of life, we begin to value relationships more deeply and not to hold grudges against anyone. I can also remember from my experiences how accepting and embracing the reality became uh the coping mechanism of a young woman that was diagnosed with cancer. I remember this young woman, she was from a place called the West Bank of Devara. Those of you who are of uh Guyanese descent, that you will know the West Bank of Devara. This young woman, she was diagnosed with cancer, and when I was told about her, I visited her at the hospital in the request of a family friend. I remember uh her strength, I remember how strong she was in that moment, in those moments, those weeks. Naturally, when someone, you know, uh receives such news, many questions arise, right? The question is asked, why am I experiencing this? The question is asked, why me? What will happen in the future? You ask the question, what will happen to my families? How will I co how will I deal with this? Terminal illness. But what stood out for this young woman was her mindset and her faith. Because she was there on that bed, and as we were communicating, I can remember that she said, Why should I find this? This is what God wants, and she is saying that with a pleasant, a pleasant face, with a smile. It is as if she was happy that God has chosen for her. She did not, you know, deny the reality of her life. She did not right deny the reality of her life. One of the things that I observed that she did not pretend any everything was easy. She expressed the pain that she was experiencing, and that day the cancer cells were spreading in her body. And even to the doctors were amazed of her pleasantness. Pretty much amazed about how pleasant she was, despite uh she probably knew that that was her last moment. She accepted the decree of God with remarkable dignity. This is real life. That someone did not fight or did not question, but rather they lean on their faith. And she said, I accept what God has chosen for me. And acceptance does not mean giving up, acceptance means acknowledging the reality without losing the hope in the divine. And not to think about something and worry about something that is not in your hand. Sometimes, you know what, things happen to you, it's not in your hand. It's not in your hand, it's in the hand of the powerful Lord, in the mighty Lord. It's in the hands of the divine. And as I said, you know, one of the things that stood out for me was that she remained pleasant in her character, calm in her in her speech, strong in her face. Her copen became a beacon of light for everyone that went to visit her. I can recall I mentioned to one of my colleagues here about her, and he decided to take his son to visit. Just to experience real life coping and faith in God. Right. Her cope as a young woman came through trust. Trust that God's wisdom is greater than our understanding, right? Trust that difficulty basically does not mean abandonment. Trust that hardship can elevate uh can elevate the soul. And this young sister woman's uh experience taught me something very powerful. Powerful that I want to share with you that faith does not always change a situation immediately, but faith changes how we experience that very situation. That's it. How we look at it, how we perceive it. When we stop asking the question, you know, why is this happening to be to me? Uh, we begin asking, how can I grow through this? But in this case, with this young woman, that she embraced what God has chosen for her because I think she understood one al-Athya to Khayru Lakaminal Ula that there's life after death, and that she was ready to meet her Lord. This is a real life, really life, right? Experience of a young woman who was diagnosed with cancer that was told that she had limited time on this world, and her faith helped her. Her strength I'll say left a lasting impression on me, and I will never forget that experience. May God bless her, right? May God bless her. And in closing, I I want to share another experience of someone very near to me and dear to me, and many of you probably know him, and that is Brother Salem. Brother Salim was a part of our community. Those of you who do not know him, he was a part of our community, and in a very minimal time, he departed this world in a time that we never expected. And I I haven't seen anyone as strong as Brother Sal. Despite the odds with him in terms of his health, he always says when you go and visit him, the only thing that I have to deal with is this particular situation. And he was talking about the medication and what is it that he has to do, despite that he was in a very uh the low moments in his life, and many was fearful and concerned about his health. He was hopeful, he had that hope that he will be better and that God will bless him. These are individuals that I share with you today that I want to use there as an example, these two individuals, and also my personal experience as an example, is that coping coping through our faith is not something far for us to achieve, but rather many experiences. Brother Salem he his coping mechanism was through faith and hope. And what stood out about Salim was his hope, and this is one of the co strongest coping mechanisms a person can have. Because hope actually reminds us, right? It reminds us that the current condition is not the final condition, and he had this immense love for God. And when someone has the immense love for God, they develop trust in God. He did not allow difficulty to make him bitter. He allowed the difficulty to make him reflective. And understand understand that our very faith teaches something important. With hardship comes ease, and sometimes ease comes in a form of healing. Sometimes ease comes in a form of strength. Sometimes comes in a form of peace. And the story that I've just narrated reminds us that hope is a spiritual coping strategy. And when we have hope, it actually protects the heart from despair. Hope prevents the mind from becoming trapped in darkness. And hope keeps us moving forward. And from these real experiences, we learn that coping through faith is not about perfection, it's about practice. Some days we may feel like you know what, we are strong, and some days we may feel that we are weak, and some days we feel clarity, and some days we feel confusion. Faith gives us tools for all of those days. And the key lesson that we the key lessons that we learn is that faith allows us to feel without being destroyed by feelings. That faith teaches us that pain has a purpose. The faith reminds us that this world is temporary, our faith encourages patience, and our faith uh teaches us acceptance, and our faith teaches us hope. Our faith connects us to something greater than our immediate situation. And remember that coping does not mean that the pain disappears, but what happens, coping means the pain does not control us. I want to thank you all so much for joining in today for another episode on coping mechanism, and as we share real-life experiences of how someone's faith and their hope in the divine help them through challenging times and help them to have a positive mindset. We learn from this that you can also lean onto your faith despite who you are, despite what faith you may have conviction in. Lean into your faith and you will see the light. Lean into the faith into your faith, and you will have the strength to cope with whatever life shows at you. Thank you all so much. Uh at last a simple request, kindly share this episode with your families and friends, subscribe to the YouTube uh channel and share. Be an advocate for this because when you share, you gain in the blessings. This is a platform where we discuss emotional well-being and also we discuss um mental health issues, we discuss community issues, and um spirituality as well. Thank you all and have a blessed day. Peace and love being followed me.