EP7: The Power of Friendship

In this episode of Inside Our Minds, Robbie and Ashama talk about the meaning of true friendship. They share what makes someone a great friend, their favorite memories with friends, and reflect on the people who have supported them through life.

This heartfelt episode is a reminder that friendship can lift us up, bring joy to everyday moments, and make life better.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_07 0:00

Welcome to Inside Our Minds Podcast. I'm your moderator, Aaron Collier, and I'm joined weekly by two amazing co-hosts, Robbie McIntosh and Ashama Rucker. Robbie has autism and Ashama has Noonan syndrome, but that doesn't stop them from living life on their own terms. Every episode we take you into the minds of Robbie and Ashama as they share their perspectives and experiences as adults who don't let their disabilities define them. Keep listening to be inspired. Good morning and happy Monday. I am Aaron Carlier with the two best hosts in the whole entire world. Robbie McIntosh in Ashama Rucker. And we are super excited to bring you episode seven.

SPEAKER_01 0:40

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 0:41

Yeah, and we're fired up for episode seven, right? Yes, I'm excited. It's a good correlation to episode six. Last week we talked about relationships. Yep. Really, really fun episode. And this week we're going to talk about friendships. Yep. And I've been fired up all week, right? What about you, Robbie? Very excited for it. Well, I'll tell you this. I think you had a little bit of episode six in you on the way here because we were listening to some Ed Sheeran in the car, right? Yeah, I guess so. Yes, I have. I mean, you were singing at the top of your lungs. It was pretty awesome. Yep. That's just me. You know, I like to sing at the top of my lungs. Yeah, we were we were listening to Ed Sheeran thinking out loud. Beautiful song, right? Yeah. Beautiful song. And it's probably going to turn into one of your favorites, isn't it? Maybe so. So uh then I mean, what else were we listening to?

SPEAKER_01 1:24

We were Feel Good Friday with uh uh Forrest Frank.

SPEAKER_07 1:28

Feel good Friday with Forrest Frank. Yeah, we had a little bit of that too. So we just had a good time. We had a really, really good time. And yeah, we always have a good time when we know we're gonna come to the office to record a podcast.

SPEAKER_01 1:37

Yes, I was already fired up when I posted um when I did a video on my TikTok uh about episode seven. So I was I was already fired up.

SPEAKER_07 1:48

Oh, let's go! Let's go. I'm fired up.

SPEAKER_01 1:50

I feel like that we we did uh we've been doing podcasts for about like seven weeks. We're on the seventh episode.

SPEAKER_07 1:56

Seven weeks. Wow. Yes, wow, that is nuts. Man, that's awesome. Well, to celebrate seven weeks or to celebrate, we're at 125-star reviews, but just to celebrate a little bit, we want to give an episode to the fans, to the listeners, everyone involved making us so successful. We appreciate y'all more than you know. And we did a little bit of a QA a few weeks back, but we want to give a whole entire episode where we do nothing but QA from y'all. So I'm gonna tell you earlier in the show, go to inside our mindspod.com. Again, it's inside our mindspod.com and submit a question for our QA show next week. And that is going to be awesome. Robbie, how was your week? Let's hear it.

SPEAKER_00 2:38

My week was uh pretty good. Um, I did a lot of great things, but uh but it's it was the same as usual. But I will I would like to highlight that on uh I guess it was Tuesday when I went to my day program, because I told you last week I gave a presentation out at VCU on uh my life and my struggles and all that. But uh more importantly, when I told everyone about it at my day program on Tuesday, um I just basically, you know, got a card or in an envelope that had my name on it, and almost every single person in that was in that class that saw me present said some really nice things about me on that card and and said and gave me some really nice compliments. So I'm proud of them and definitely want to give those students a shout out as well. More importantly, it's of course allergy season and with this change in the temperature, I couldn't go on Monday Today program, but more importantly, I just haven't been sick. I've just been feeling allergies or had allergies because I'm feeling the weather around me and the change in temperature and all that sort of thing.

SPEAKER_07 3:48

And let me just bring y'all, bring all the listeners that might not necessarily be from Virginia, how our day was yesterday and why probably Robbie feels a little bit under the weather because the weather is so crazy. I woke up yesterday to it being 75 degrees at 6 a.m. So I went and started my van with the AC on, and then by the time I left work, it was snowing. It was 35 degrees and it was snowing. Right. Isn't that crazy?

SPEAKER_01 4:16

Bipolar weather.

SPEAKER_07 4:17

I'm telling you, it's nuts. I don't know who pissed off Mother Nature, but holy crap, can you chill a little bit? You know what I mean? Like that was that's crazy. Ashama, what what what'd you do this week?

SPEAKER_01 4:27

This week, um, what'd I do this week? I did play my game yesterday. Um this week I went to cook with a friend.

SPEAKER_07 4:37

Nice, nice. Tell us about that.

SPEAKER_01 4:40

So basically, I went to go cook with a friend. Um it was uh uh one ingredients that was left out, and I went to go get it. And um, it was good. The cooking was good, it might have not been perfect, but you know, because my friend had to get ready for work, so we did the the rush thing. So we're gonna do it another time next time um when he he doesn't have to work so we can take our time and make sure everything is done correctly. But yeah, that's what I did this week.

SPEAKER_07 5:17

And I see what y'all are doing here. You want you want to tell everyone who that friend was?

SPEAKER_01 5:21

Yes, my friend is Robbie. Yep, he's been uh my friend since we got under the program, so yeah.

SPEAKER_07 5:30

Well, it it's cool though, this podcast and just us spending so much time together. It seems like our friendships are really growing.

SPEAKER_01 5:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 5:36

And I think that's such a cool thing. You know what I mean? We're we're really getting to know each other, we're spending a lot of time around each other. And man, that's so cool. And Robbie, I know you mentioned to me, I asked you, I was like, hey, how was that dish? How'd that chicken noodle soup? Because they made homemade chicken noodle soup. I said, How'd it turn out? And he said, Not as good as my mom's. And I made sure to tell Robbie, hey, not it's it's never gonna be as good as your mom's. Mama, mama's dishes are always gonna be the best. But with practice, yeah, we can get a little bit closer to tasting like mom's. You know what I mean? So, but I'm glad y'all had fun. Did y'all have fun? I did we definitely did that. We did, dude. That man, that makes me so happy. Maybe, maybe y'all can make a YouTube cooking show. You know what I mean? Cooking cooking it up with Robbie and Ashama.

SPEAKER_01 6:17

Yeah, I was thinking about that. How cool would that be?

SPEAKER_07 6:20

So, are y'all ready to dive into questions?

SPEAKER_01 6:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 6:22

All right, well, it sounds like it is time to welcome you inside our minds. All right, let's get into it. So, today we are gonna be talking about friendship. The people who make us laugh, support us when things are hard, and make life better just by being there. This episode is all about the power of friendship. And Robbie, we're gonna start with you. So, what does friendship mean to you?

SPEAKER_00 7:18

I can answer that question in simple and easy terms. Uh, friendship to me means somebody who can somebody you can trust, a person who your parents can approve of, but more importantly, it's someone who is honest and kind and would never do anything bad or do anything with you that would let you down. Somebody who is always there for you, your trials and your struggles, and someone who can always watch out for you.

SPEAKER_07 7:50

That's a beautiful answer, and I 100% agree. Oshama, what does friendship mean to you?

SPEAKER_01 7:55

Friendship means to me is honesty, faith, and trust.

SPEAKER_04 8:00

Yep, 100%.

SPEAKER_01 8:01

Basically, you have to trust that person. And it would have to be more than just a day, it would have to be maybe like a year. Or another friendship is when you had uh a friendship with somebody um that you grew up with. So that you can be able to um share your secrets with because they're not gonna put your secrets out. So basically.

SPEAKER_07 8:30

Yeah, and I I think a true friend, right? So if I were to define a friend, it's probably someone always there for you, worrying about you, making sure you're okay. Yeah. And that's that that's awesome. Really, really good answers from both of y'all. All right, Robbie. What makes someone a really good friend?

SPEAKER_00 8:48

Interesting question there. Uh, what makes someone a really good friend? I mean, so I I'd say someone who is nice to you, someone who promises you they they will do something and they'll they'll get back to you. But I I'd say in more broader, simple terms, someone who is always friendlier and nice to you and who is always you know kind.

SPEAKER_07 9:16

Yeah, yeah, 100%. Kindness goes a long, long way, right?

SPEAKER_00 9:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 9:20

Yeah, I a hundred percent agree. Ashamu, what makes someone a really good friend?

SPEAKER_01 9:24

What makes someone a really good friend when you're feeling down?

SPEAKER_07 9:28

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 9:29

And you know, laughing is medicine.

SPEAKER_04 9:31

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:32

When they uh tell you a joke and they make you feel better to make you laugh and giggle to your stomach hurt to anything, but that's what a friend is to make you laugh when you're feeling down and be there for you.

SPEAKER_07 9:47

I gotta ask. I gotta ask because you brought off jokes. You got a good joke? Do you have one?

SPEAKER_01 9:52

Uh not not.

SPEAKER_07 9:54

Who's there?

SPEAKER_01 9:55

Coconut. Coconut who? Coconut head.

SPEAKER_07 9:58

What? You call me a coconut head? Girl, man, I swear. Remember, I'm your ride home. I'm making walk. No, I'm just kidding. That was a good one. That was a good one. Right, what are you? You got any good jokes? Uh knock knock.

SPEAKER_00 10:13

Who's there? Um, carrot someone who's gonna put your hat on.

SPEAKER_07 10:24

Man, y'all, man, y'all are something else. I'm so basic. This is the only joke I got. You ready? Robbie, how do you make a tissue dance?

SPEAKER_00 10:32

Uh put it on your hat and poke it down with a pin. No, you put a little boogie in it.

SPEAKER_07 10:40

Boogie, you get it like a booger. You make the tissue dance because the the tissue you got some boogie now, you know what I mean? Yeah, you put a little boogie in it. Yeah, right? Yeah, dude. I uh my jokes are terrible. But man. So all right, guys. All right, next question. Robbie, that this will be a fun one. What is your favorite memory with a friend?

SPEAKER_00 11:01

I I have had I've shared so many uh favorite memories with friends, but I guess it all started even as a little kid, getting into adulthood. I mean, I'd say basically going places with a friend, like eating out, hanging out, going to the movies. But more importantly, we've been uh getting out, getting some ice cream together, going to baseball games, uh uh and all that sort of stuff. And I will say one of my earliest memories, I actually had two friends that I hung out with that were non-verbal and that don't really talk as much or don't talk at all. And I've been over to their house, I've had as a little boy play dates with them, and I've been over to their house, they've been over to mine, and um and and and we've just been over to their house many times. I I've been over to their house many times and and have just played with them. That those are some of my favorite memories.

SPEAKER_07 11:59

Dude, that is awesome. Man, that I mean, that is absolutely awesome. Sounds like you've had some really, really good friends in your life. Yeah. And that makes me super happy. Ashama, what is your favorite memory with a friend?

SPEAKER_01 12:10

My favorite memory with a friend is um you grow up with the friends and you have fun. Cause like when we grow up, they be like, hey Ashamer, you remember this? Remember we used to get in trouble together? Remember we used to go to the park together, and we'd be having some good old memories. I have family members that um I have good memories with. So it's just having fun and getting in trouble with each other, um, getting in trouble together.

SPEAKER_07 12:42

Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

You know that's what I could take over.

SPEAKER_07 12:46

You lived with a friend too, didn't you?

SPEAKER_01 12:49

Uh yeah, I did live with a friend. Yeah, I live with a friend, which was my cousin. Um we was he's I'm a year older than him.

SPEAKER_04 13:01

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

So we went to the park and we played together. And I think we I was about either three and he was I if I was three, he was two. So basically we had, you know, fun together. And his sister was older than us. I think she was a teenager, but yeah, we had pretty much fun together and yeah, bring that up.

SPEAKER_07 13:26

Yeah, dude, that's awesome. And I uh man, if I lived with my best friend, well, we get in a lot of trouble. And like I said, I I usually don't share stories, but my uh my favorite memory with a friend happened recently. And shout out shout out my buddy Andy. We we've been best friends since high school, and he just recently got married, beautiful wedding, but he asked me to be his best man, and not gonna lie, I shed a tear. It was pretty emotional. I mean, I I love that guy. So I uh just wanted to shout out Andy and shout out the new Golders because the wedding was beautiful, and just being able to sit there from the best man's perspective, man, it was so fun. And I'm just so blessed that I got to share that. And that's by far my favorite memory with a friend. So I just wanted to bring that up. All right, Robbie, to you. This will this will be a fun one too. So if your best friend is listening right now, what do you want to say to them?

SPEAKER_00 14:13

That's a very good question. Um so I I definitely would want to give a shout-out. So I I I don't have very many friends that I would want to give shout-outs to because most of them, those friends are like I said, nonverbal social. I will focus more on the one person who is social and who has talked to me and who's really helped me a lot at all. And that person is Hayden Young. And Hayden and I have been friends, we go back many years actually. We we've actually been friends uh ever since we f ever since I first moved to the Richmond area more than 20 years ago. I can remember mem remember when I was young being at his baptism and him being at mine. We've been at each other's baptisms. We basically been through each other. We've been to our we've been to baptisms, each other's baptisms, we've been to our high school graduations, like he's been to mine and I've been to his. And he just, you know, has taken me to and from school. Like he's driven me from my Bible study at my church over to my my my church Bible study rather to school. And um also that's one thing he done and ever and he also's been for me, even when he saw me upset, because I knew that Hayden for one would not never like to see me upset. I can recall a time when he actually saw that and my dad took me out because I was upset about something, and then he knew that something was wrong, and then he came out and to comfort me because he did not like to see me upset. And and those are just some of the greatest examples that a good friend can do for you. Good friends are always there, and for people, no matter what trials and challenges and struggles they go through, and that's the kind of man that Hayden was and still is.

SPEAKER_07 16:09

So that makes me so happy just hearing you talk about him, and I'll give a shout out to Hayden too, because I've never met him, but I hear you talk about him all the time. And Hayden, shout out to you because you've been such a great friend to Robbie, and we we all appreciate you, right? So that means that's awesome. Ashama, if your best friend is listening right now, what would you want to say to them?

SPEAKER_01 16:28

I'll tell my best friend, thank you for being there, thank you for making me laugh, thank you for us being in trouble together. Um thank you for just everything because you had that heart of God, and you know, we both had it. And I'll give him a shout out. His name is Um Jim Petty. Um, we call him Sonny because that's his nickname. Um rest in peace to him. Um, and my sister, my sister's been there for me for the best time. We grew up also together. Um, her name is Jennifer Perez. I'd like to give my sister a shout out.

SPEAKER_06 17:11

Their sister is awesome.

SPEAKER_01 17:12

Yes, she is very awesome. Like, I can call her and be like, hey, how you doing? How's your day going? You know? And then I just like to give a shout out to uh Tori, Erin, Megan Lisa, my case manager, which I will call, I'm gonna start calling her my mom. And my four-legged dog, Piper, and my daughter. Uh, they was there like when I was going through stuff, and my daughter would wipe my eyes, and Piper would listen to me sing and just look at me with her blue eyes. You know. Then I like to give a shout out to my friend Diamond, because I just met her on the cruise, and it was so amazing.

SPEAKER_06 17:59

Man, that's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

Yeah, and then uh Didi and Shay and other people that um that's been there for me that had my back and knew what I didn't maybe not know what I was going through, but just to be there and say, hey, it's gonna be okay, you know.

SPEAKER_07 18:18

Sometimes just being there, right? Is enough.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

So it is being there. So that's basically enough of that friendship.

SPEAKER_07 18:25

Man, that makes me super, super happy. And uh, you just shouted out a lot of people. If I if I was to shout out my whole entire group, I'd be here for forever. But I'm very blessed to have a lot of fantastic people in my life. So if y'all are listening, y'all all know who you are. I am very, very, very appreciative of you.

SPEAKER_01 18:41

So the reason why I shouted them, uh the reason why I just got shouted out because they were important. Oh, and I forgot one more person, Robbie.

SPEAKER_07 18:50

Yep. Oh, 100% shout out, Robbie.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

Shout out to Robbie because we've been friends ever since we've been in the program. No issues, no nothing. He wants to be able to cook, I help him do things that what he wants to do. I never told him no. So uh he's a he's a good friend.

SPEAKER_07 19:09

Yeah, and I'm I'm gonna share, I'll share a story because I thought this was pretty cool too. But Robbie, we so Robbie went over, Shamma's one day, and I was there and we were planning for the podcast, and he saw that she had a Fabrized like smell. What's what's it called?

SPEAKER_01 19:21

So is a um like the plug-in Fabrize?

SPEAKER_07 19:24

So like a plug-in Fabrize, and he was like, Oh, Shamma, your apartment smells good. So then Robbie went and bought the same plug-in for his apartment, you know what I mean? So just little stuff like that. Like, that is so cool. That is super, super cool. So, Robbie, closing statement.

SPEAKER_00 19:40

Um I'd say, you know, my advice to anyone or to anyone listening out there, make sure that when you get somebody to have a friend, or make sure when you find someone to have a friend, make sure that it's a friend that your parents approve of because they care about you.

SPEAKER_07 20:00

100%. And it's uh sometimes it's good. Like everyone's gonna run across that one person that you think is a friend. Right.

SPEAKER_04 20:06

Right.

SPEAKER_07 20:07

You might spend a little bit of time together with them, and then you realize later down the road, it's like, all right, maybe someone put me in, like they were putting my life for me to learn a lesson. You know what I mean? Like we've we've all had those experiences where we're like, all right, you know what, I I want to be friends with this person, but then you realize like this person might not necessarily be the best thing for me. Right. So, yeah, good answer. Ashama, closing statements.

SPEAKER_01 20:28

So my closing statement is when you choose your friends, choose your friends wisely. Now, if you have a childhood friend, like everybody argues, everybody have ups and downs. So like if you have a childhood friend and y'all was there through everything together, don't let nobody come in between your friendship. Because there is people that will come in between the friendship. So don't let nobody come in between your friendship. And if you need a help on the friendship, um, for people that doesn't have friends and looking for friends, the less y'all know God is your friend. Yep, God is everybody's friend. So if you don't have no true friend, God is your true friend. You can sit and talk to him anytime you want. So I would just say that because it's very important when it comes to friends, because everybody can't be your friend.

SPEAKER_07 21:25

Yeah, no, 100%.

SPEAKER_01 21:26

So God is your friend. So just put it out there. God is your friend, God, God knows what you've been through. You ain't gotta tell nobody what you've been through because God knows what you've been through, and you just sit and talk to him, man.

SPEAKER_07 21:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:37

There you go. That'll be your friend right there.

SPEAKER_07 21:39

Hey, amen to that. So, hey, I I'll I'll be short and short and sweet, but closing statements for me. I just I just want to thank everybody and just give another reminder of next week we're gonna do a fans QA session. That's gonna be our whole entire episode. So go ahead and shoot us an email at inside our mindspod at outlook.com or visit our website inside. Inside ourMontspod.com, hit submit a question and ask us whatever you want to. Last time we got over a hundred submissions and it was hard to pick. I think we answered like five from that. However, we're gonna try to answer as many as we can. We are gonna do the whole entire episode of nothing but fans QA questions. So we are really, really looking forward to that. And then the other thing too, we're at 125 star reviews. If you are here listening weekly and you haven't given us that five-star review yet, please do. It helps us out so much. We uh we we were on the top hundred charts on Apple Podcasts this week. So I I think that is so cool. We uh I I was just scrolling looking at it, it was a personal stories chart, and we were like number 68 or something. And man, that's awesome. I mean, that that that is fantastic. And the the only reason that's able to happen is for people giving us that review. So we appreciate it more than you know, and man, what we're having so much fun, and this wouldn't be possible if we didn't have guys tune in each week to make this possible. So we are super, super appreciative of everybody, and I think that wraps us up, right? Right. So, no, with with everybody at Inside Our Minds Pod, we hope you have a great week. Have a great week.

SPEAKER_03 23:19

Inside our minds, we will shine, they stay. We can't, we don't care. We write our own headlines. Inside our minds, we will shine where gold spec, gold bed, and we always think about it.