EP9: The Moments That Shaped Us

Robbie and Ashama reflect on growth, lessons, and how they’ve changed over time. Some moments challenged us, others taught us, but all of them make us who we are today. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:01

Welcome to Inside Our Minds Podcast. I'm your moderator, Aaron Collier, and I'm joined weekly by two amazing co-hosts, Robbie McIntosh and Ashama Rucker. Robbie has autism and Ashama has Noonan syndrome, but that doesn't stop them from living life on their own terms. Every episode, we take you into the minds of Robbie and Ashama as they share their perspectives and experiences as adults who don't let their disabilities define them. Keep listening to be inspired.

SPEAKER_06 0:29

Good morning and happy Monday. I am Aaron Carrier with the two best hosts in the whole entire world, Robbie McIntosh.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

It's Ashama Rucker.

SPEAKER_06 0:37

And we are here for episode nine.

SPEAKER_01 0:40

Yes, I'm excited.

SPEAKER_06 0:41

You excited? Yes. You're who's excited? Who's more excited? I've been excited the most. Do you think so? Why? Why are you so excited?

SPEAKER_00 0:48

Because we've been doing because Fridays is the main day that I always look forward to because that's always the day when we're gonna podcast.

SPEAKER_06 0:56

Yeah, Friday's the best day ever. You know what I mean? And just having a podcast on a Friday, you know, and just releasing on Monday. I feel like my Mondays are even better. You know what I mean? We get to listen to ourselves on Mondays, and other people get to listen to us on Mondays.

SPEAKER_01 1:08

I feel good when I listen to myself.

SPEAKER_06 1:10

This podcast has just made our lives just a little bit better, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:13

Yep, dude. It's so much fun. And yeah, and and I listen to myself on my way to my day program, so I get to hear myself anyway.

SPEAKER_06 1:20

Dude, that is so awesome, Robbie. And guys, we we had so much fun last week just just diving into to all our fans. And it's uh we we we got such great positive feedback too. And I'm so glad that y'all loved hearing the stories just as much as we loved receiving the stories and and giving those back to y'all and how we started this podcast, right? Like we wanted you to dive into Robbie and Ashama's minds, kind of see how they do things, but now it's opening up to anybody who listens to us is is able to submit a story, submit a question, come on this podcast, and they're also able to share their voice. And that is so cool. And I don't know, I'm just I'm so fired up. I I just I love this, I love the brand that we're creating, and it's just awesome. It really is awesome.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

So by us inspiring people, yeah, they also inspire us by telling their stories. Yeah, exactly. So we also we inspire in each other, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 2:11

No, a hundred percent, and that's what life's about, right? Yep, be uplifting to as many people as you can, and man, man, that is so awesome. Oshama, do you have a good week? What'd you do?

SPEAKER_01 2:20

Oh my god, I had the best week on Monday. I cook with um Jose.

SPEAKER_06 2:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

And roll my bike. Yes, you did. I saw you. I rolled my bike because it was a a good day.

SPEAKER_06 2:32

Did you ride a bike with no handlebars?

SPEAKER_01 2:36

That would be impossible to ride a bike with no handlebars. But yeah, so I cook um for Jose for two days straight. And then I'm y'all cooked the second day? Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 2:49

What'd y'all cook the second time?

SPEAKER_01 2:50

Uh the second time it was the chicken wings.

SPEAKER_06 2:53

Uh, y'all made chicken wings?

SPEAKER_01 2:55

Yeah. Holy crap. And I made my uh little famous sauce and had it dipped in there because we put the chicken wings in the air crowd.

SPEAKER_06 3:03

So Jose, he better start paying you. Holy crap, if you're coming over to cook all his meals, holy crap, dude.

SPEAKER_01 3:09

No, I don't I love doing it. I love helping my peers. So it gives the to be honest, it gives the staff enough time to go see each and everybody. Yeah. So if I step in and just help with that, then you know I they could be happy, the staff could be happy, and you know, that's this how that goes.

SPEAKER_06 3:30

Well, how about this? I just got a really good idea. So last week you said you wanted to create a business and you weren't sure kind of where it was going.

SPEAKER_01 3:35

Right.

SPEAKER_06 3:36

I think it sounds like you're a pretty crap. I just said a bad word on that. I haven't done that yet. Sounds like you're a pretty dang good chef, right? I mean, good gracious, you can cut your cook your butt off. And you don't just cook for yourself, you cook for Robbie, Jose, yourself, like and the dog. And the dog, yes. Piper eats for Piper eats better than me, let's be real. So, Robbie, what about you? Do you have a good week?

SPEAKER_00 3:58

Oh, you bet I had a good week. See, what did I do this uh past week? So I did go to day program Mondays and Tuesdays as I y uh usually do. Um and I and I think it was pr pretty normal. I I I um I did go to work and another cool thing, and I'll go into this in a lot or a lot of detail, but I went to get my sleepwatch yesterday and and people I guess we both told people about my podcast, and just you know, I will say more l a little later on, but just look how where I am now and the compliments I've received and everything. I seem to be be working hard each and every week. But other than these things, week has been going good.

SPEAKER_06 4:45

Yeah, hey, yeah, that's where we were yesterday, Vital Care, and I'm sure they're gonna be listening now because they were so excited they had quote unquote a famous podcaster in their office yesterday. So how cool was that? Yeah. So if those ladies are listening, hey, shout out to y'all. We appreciate y'all.

SPEAKER_01 5:00

So on Tuesday, I went to my doctor's appointment. Okay, and I wore the shirt.

SPEAKER_06 5:04

Nice, nice.

SPEAKER_01 5:05

Yes, I wore the shirt and I showed it the um the nurse and that my nurse and my doctor, and I told them about it. So they should be able to look it up and um be able to get on and listen.

SPEAKER_06 5:20

Well, I'll tell y'all this, and this is pretty cool. So we we got our analytics back, and uh there's over 20,000 listeners so far. So over 20,000 people have chined in and listened to y'all's voices, isn't that cool?

SPEAKER_01 5:31

Yes, that's amazing.

SPEAKER_06 5:32

Isn't that amazing?

SPEAKER_01 5:33

So that's what we want.

SPEAKER_06 5:34

Are y'all ready to inspire more people? Y'all want to dive in?

SPEAKER_01 5:36

Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_06 5:37

Okay, awesome. So it sounds like it is time to welcome you inside our minds. All right, let's get into it. So, everything we go through in life shapes us. And sometimes the hardest moments turn into the best things that could ever happen to us. And that is what we are going to dive into today. We're gonna get back to what we do so well, right? Right. Really welcoming the listeners inside our minds, how we think, what we do. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 6:36

Yep.

SPEAKER_06 6:37

And let's get back on track with that today. And we got some really, really good questions. Y'all ready to dive in? Yes. Yes. Let's do it. All right, Robbie. We'll start with you. What is one moment in your life that changed you for the better?

SPEAKER_00 6:52

If there was one moment in my life that would change me for the better, it would be high school graduation because I always like those for one thing. They have very inspired words. The early words that the real words that stuck out to me the most was what my senior class president said is don't just make it your day, make it your life, and all that. And I and he told me later, he said, you know, you continue to keep those words and take them with you for the rest of your life. That was me commenting on his birthday post. But after high school graduation, you can't really imagine how I felt. Not only was I proud of myself for all the work that I accomplished, I graduated with straight A's, really good grades. Nice. And I was really proud of that. But also I was crying because I had the impression that all of the people that I went to high school with that were graduating, some of which I would never be able to see again because they're all off to other endeavors and I don't really hang out with them as much. And it makes me sad to see those people move on. Like my teacher said, when you're in elementary school, they tell you to go to middle school. And when you go to middle when you graduate from middle school, they tell you to go to high school, and when they tell you to go to high school and when you go to high graduate from high school, it's up to you. It's your own path. So that's my own graduating from high school was the point where I said to myself, where I thought that I was a more professional, well, not professional, but a more independent adult because of what I did, because I graduated from my high school and telling myself that I'm all done.

SPEAKER_06 8:30

Yeah, no, 100%. And I'll I I feel you there, right? I I remember the last time I walked out of my high school doors and I just kind of looked up at the sky and then I looked back at the door and I was like, holy crap, this is the last time I'm ever going to walk out of this school as a student. And it was kind of sad. You know what I mean? It was kind of sad, but you get so appreciative of the journey, right? Like you're so proud of yourself. You're like, wow, the last 12, 13 years, I've put so much time and hard work into this. And you know what? One journey's done and the next journey begins. And there's look, social media isn't crazy nowadays, right? But it's so really cool to the point that yes, all your friends from high school, you don't really get to see them as much anymore because we're all on different paths, different journeys, right? But it's still cool to keep in touch with them, like through Facebook. And that that I mean, that's really, really cool.

SPEAKER_00 9:19

Yeah, and I've always I used to oftentimes do that with one of my high school friends who graduated a couple years, two years, I think, before I did.

SPEAKER_06 9:27

So yeah, man, 100%. Ashama. What's one moment in your life that changed you for the better?

SPEAKER_01 9:33

My daughter.

SPEAKER_06 9:34

Your daughter, yeah. Was it like when she was born?

SPEAKER_01 9:37

Yes, it was when she was born. And um, I was always there being a a mother, a good mother. And even though I had hard times because she was on a heart monitor and I had to carry that around. So I couldn't really hold her the way that I wanted to hold her until after three months when the machine broke. Oh wow.

SPEAKER_06 10:03

Yeah, that's hard.

SPEAKER_01 10:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 10:05

Uh if you don't mind me asking, so like the first time you found out you were pregnant, how'd you feel? Like, was it uh was it happy? Was it shit? I was excited. You were excited? I was excited.

SPEAKER_01 10:16

I was, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 10:16

So I was excited. Your daughter is awesome.

SPEAKER_01 10:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 10:20

So she is awesome, and that's a really good answer. All right, next question. Robbie, what's something you've learned about yourself recently?

SPEAKER_00 10:28

Well, um, and this goes to the point of what I s was talking about at the beginning of the podcast. So yesterday um I went to uh Vital Care to get my sleep watch. And I for those listeners who don't know, I I struggle with a lot, I have a lot of sleeping issues and all that. But to stay on point here, um when Aaron when you were telling people yesterday about this podcast, I I I I had the impression that you know, and I've knew this all along, because like I said, my dream job was to be journalist, but now because journalist um being a journalist for me almost becomes practically impossible because of getting college degrees and because college is so hard for me and math and all that, I I decided that it wouldn't hurt to be a radio news host. I would be perfect for being on the radio, sitting at the microphone and being on the radio so that that way people because one person said to me one day at work, he said, You sound just like the radio. Yeah, you do. And I and I really do. I have a strong radio voice, I sound like a professional, and maybe someday there may come a point where I eventually will be able to be on the radio. But um, all of that hard work, uh, all of that the point of being on the radio for me basically is all the work, the hard work that I have in in terms of what this podcast does.

SPEAKER_06 11:56

Yeah, and and yeah, like the question was what's something you've learned about yourself recently? You always knew that you wanted to be a radio show host, right? Yeah, but now you're learning that you would a hundred percent be an excellent radio show host. Like you are learning that you definitely have the voice, and that's what this podcast is bringing you. And I love it. I see the confidence in both of y'all's voices each week, and I mean it's awesome. I mean, y'all are y'all are rock stars, so man, it's it's awesome. All right, Ashama, what's something you've learned about yourself recently?

SPEAKER_01 12:23

What I learned about myself recently is being independent, being able to cook, clean, take care of the dog, help my peers out, you know, being successful. Uh that's what I like to be. I like to be successful and amazing. So yeah.

SPEAKER_06 12:45

Well, yeah, I mean, uh kind of the same thing, right? Like even people in our program like Jose, Jose loves this show. Jose loves listening to our podcast. And I I don't I don't think you realize how much Jose just likes hanging around you. I mean, cooking from back-to-back days, like man, that that is that is awesome. So you're you're cooking with Robbie again today, aren't you?

SPEAKER_01 13:05

Um, we're gonna do next Monday.

SPEAKER_06 13:07

Oh, next Monday? Yeah, okay, very cool. What are y'all cooking?

SPEAKER_01 13:10

Spaghetti.

SPEAKER_06 13:11

Spaghetti. Ooh, save some for me. Uh you got me?

SPEAKER_01 13:14

Yeah, let's go.

SPEAKER_06 13:16

Let's go. All right, Robbie. Next question. What is something hard that you went through and what did it teach you?

SPEAKER_00 13:22

So, this question here is really easy for me to explain because it's one that I'm very passionate about. And I won't really go into a lot of details because of time and all that. But there was this one lady who I worked with who was just a really, really nice coworker. I mean, every time, almost every time, I'd walk in the door, walk past her, she would never forget to say hello to me, never forget to say hi to me. And anytime she'd smile and greet me with a smile, which is what everybody, the YMCA does, it really made my day. However, when I learned that she would be moving, it broke my heart because I had great love for the person that I'm talking about. I told her the last time I worked with her, it's like you touched my life in really significant ways when you did that stuff. And long story short, she just gave me a Chick-fil-A gift card with a note on it. Made me feel much better. I I assume that helped lessen my sadness. It was still difficult for me to overcome, and it but it took me a couple days to get over it. But even after the next shift after and the next day after I was crying because I love her so much, and so so that's the the point there.

SPEAKER_06 14:46

Yeah, and like I said, the question was what is something hard that you went through, which sounds like it was really, really hard. And then it said, What did it teach you? And it sounds like it taught you, like, you know what? I love this girl, she is awesome, she's treated me with respect, and I'd really appreciate the moments at work that I've had with her, but it's teaching me that I care about this girl so much. I'm so happy that she's able to go do something that's gonna better herself also.

SPEAKER_00 15:09

Yeah, and and like the like someone told me who who was another friend of hers, who I think who did memberships with her, she said because she's leaving for a really good reason, and and we must think about that.

SPEAKER_06 15:22

Yeah, no, 100%.

SPEAKER_00 15:23

So and I'm in touch with her on with I have her contact info and we chat with each other from time to time, which is good the good thing about social media.

SPEAKER_06 15:32

Man, that is awesome. Yeah, that is awesome. Oshama, what is something hard that you went through and what did it teach you?

SPEAKER_01 15:40

I went through um challenges with my daughter um because of her breathing and the heart monitor. And at times that when she was stopped breathing, I used to always panic. And I would call my mom right then and there. Yeah and she um give me what I have to do to be able to um be able to do what I have to do with her, like to breathe into her mouth and to feel better for her to get back and for me to be able to be relieved. And it was hard with that, but what I had learned is that you know she's doing a lot better now, so I don't really have to, you know, breathe into her mouth to get her to come back, and I don't have to panic or never to give up on her.

SPEAKER_06 16:43

Oh yeah, no, that that's beautiful also. And yeah, it seems like right now, like all the all the hard mama work that you did really, really worked out, you know? Because I mean she she's awesome and she's pretty much living independently right now, too, right? Like she's going to she's doing her thing, she's on her routine, she's on her schedule. So you did really, really great things. So um, all right. Well, guys, last question, Robbie. How would you say you are different today versus a few years ago?

SPEAKER_00 17:11

That's another good question, and easy for me to answer. You know, I I can just say that, you know, um, because a few years ago, um, I was, you know, whenever I'd be bored, I would all I do is just sit and listen to recordings and nothing much. But what I've learned from all the counseling that I've received from my um from therapy was it's not really good to just sit and listen to recordings because it makes my obsessive brain much worse. I have obsessive brain for those listeners who don't know. And more importantly, it helps me want to see the past all the time. But one of the things I've been counseled to do by my counselor was focus on what's going on right here and and and right now. So live in the moment. Yeah, yeah, lit live in the moment. So basically, what changed is because like I said, I went to vital care and and uh when I was told I couldn't take a nap, you know, I just said to myself, well, what could I do? And what I did for one was take a walk, but I was so extremely tired to do everything else. So instead, what I did, rather than just sit on my phone, which can be boring at times, just cut on the news, listen to the radio to survive the last hour. So so stuff like that when I'm bored really has truly helped me to be a much better person than I was uh a few years ago and how I changed over time and all that.

SPEAKER_06 18:32

It sounds like you're just finding ways to keep yourself busy. And that I mean that that's always a good thing.

SPEAKER_00 18:37

And and look at me, you know, I have this podcast, I have a job, day program, I'm almost always busy every single day of the week among visiting family and stuff.

SPEAKER_06 18:46

Find finding time to go to church and cook with friends, like, dude, you're you're doing great. Yeah, I mean, you're really you're really making something of yourself, man. So Oshama, how would you say you're different today versus a few years ago?

SPEAKER_01 18:57

Well, I'm different today is because I think about what my mom and my dad had taught me um as growing up, and to be able to do things on my own and to have my own family, um and to mostly be independent and to go to church and never give up on God. And yeah, that's what is being different for me today than it was years ago. Yeah, yeah, now I was a mess, yeah, and now I'm more mature.

SPEAKER_06 19:33

Well, I mean, I'll tell you this. I mean, even in the last, I mean, I when I first met you, I met you at day program. Remember, I was I was dropping off one of one of our residents, and I met you and you were so excited, you were like, I'm moving in. I'm I'm like, let's go, let's do it. But even like the last few years, like just being independent on on your own, like you really have matured a lot. And I mean, I gotta give that to you. I mean, you you're killing it. You're doing so good. So yeah, great answer. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of both of y'all. Thank you. Can't say it enough. So all right. Well, guys, I mean that that wraps us up. How'd y'all how'd y'all feel about that?

SPEAKER_00 20:06

It was amazing. I thought it was a really interesting discussion that we've had today.

SPEAKER_06 20:11

I think so too. I really, really do. Sometimes those questions they might be a little hard. I mean, let's be real, they might be a little hard, but I mean, at the end of the day, like a lot of people think about that stuff all the time. And what when they listen, now we're able to almost give guidance about kind of what you guys go through. And I think that's the coolest thing in the world. Right. So, y'all got any closing statements?

SPEAKER_01 20:30

I uh my closing statement is um my daughter that I'm talking about, maybe some people might know her, maybe some people that don't know her. Her name is Janet. She's the daughter and my only daughter that I was talking about. Um, she's an amazing person. So basically, to the parents that if y'all going through what I've been through with y'all kids, never give up and continue to be there for them because they would thank you later for being in their life. And you know, y'all start making videos together, y'all start taking pictures together, start hanging out together, and it's gonna make your son or daughter appreciate you even more.

SPEAKER_06 21:13

Yeah, those moments mean mean a whole, whole, whole lot.

SPEAKER_01 21:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 21:17

Well, Rob, your closing statement.

SPEAKER_00 21:19

Well, um I would say f this podcast, you know, specifically mentions trials. It is most mostly mentioned struggles that we've been going through. For those of you who feel that you are going through a hard time, because I've experienced many hard times in my life, including the one I just mentioned earlier. If you guys happen to go through a hard time or a hard struggle, don't just hide it from people, don't just be sad about it. Talk with someone. Yeah, talk with your family, talk with your parents, talk with the counselor, talk with anyone. And I promise you, they can help. You get through it. I mean, my parents did the same thing. Someone at my old apartment did the same thing. We try to talk it out. And I and I tell you what, you know, if if you talk with your parents about it, the more you your parents help you, and the more you talk with them about it, and they do stuff for you. I promise you it will make your lives and your life much, much better.

SPEAKER_06 22:24

I a hundred percent agree with you there, right? And there's so many people that that deal with so much stuff inside and they just never let it out. And I totally understand because it's like anger issue.

SPEAKER_01 22:32

I had that um a long time ago, and then I decided to talk to my family about it and just let it all out.

SPEAKER_06 22:40

Yeah. Well, I and I mean, and yeah, I mean, anger definitely makes sense there too. But I mean, sometimes it's just sadness, sometimes it's depression, sometimes it's anxiety, and sometimes people just hold it in for so long, and you gotta think the more it stays inside, the more it grows and grows and grows. Think about when you talk about it, it's almost like a release. Yeah. Right? Like it gets smaller and smaller and smaller because now you're letting it out. You know what I mean? You're letting it out, and look, there's there's people that are gonna be there for you to help you and guide you.

SPEAKER_00 23:06

And and I will say too that, you know, oftentimes when I feel sad about something and when I think of something and say, hey, this is a good thing, I try to feel happy about it and put a smile on my face, but sometimes, you know, it's hard for me to hold my sadness about it, hold those feet, hold hold my sadness, that thoughts that I feel about it without crying. So sometimes I cry about stuff that I have a hard time not being sad about.

SPEAKER_06 23:37

Yeah, hey, hey, guess what? Me too. Me too. We all do, you know.

SPEAKER_01 23:40

So guess what? We also have we have our pets that's there because they are our emotional support pets. Even though uh a lot of people don't think that their pets are like emotional support pets, they could also be emotional support pets because they know what you go through. So basically, if they get you to put their hands up under the if they put their head up under your hands, like just to pat them or just to be there, because they would never leave your side and they follow you, and they know already know that something is wrong.

SPEAKER_06 24:13

I 100% agree. Dogs are dogs are amazing. So I uh do you you ever notice dog what it's spelled backwards?

SPEAKER_01 24:23

Yep, guys.

SPEAKER_06 24:24

Yeah, isn't that crazy? Yep. I mean, seriously, I mean they're the most loving creatures in the whole entire world. So cats too. All right, well, guys, well, I mean, that today was a great episode. And for everyone listening, uh, I think we're at 147 five-star reviews on Spotify. Yeah, if you're here weekly, go ahead and give us that five-star rating. I don't think you realize how much that really that truly helps us. And we're just we're just so grateful to be able to have this platform. We're so grateful that this platform is turned into what it is. And I mean, we're just so grateful for y'all because if it wasn't for y'all, then hey, we wouldn't have any of this. And we just appreciate you so much. And if you haven't put any faces to the voices that you hear each week, go to inside our mindspod.com. Again, that's inside our mindspod.com. All right, guys. Well, great job today. I'm super proud of y'all as always. And I think that wraps us up, right? Right. You're right. So with everyone from inside our minds, we hope you have to have a great week. Have a great week.