Inside Our Minds
Your hosts, Ashama and Robbie, want the world to know that their disabilities don’t define them.
Inside Our Minds
EP11: What Truly Makes Us Happy
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Robbie returns to join Ashama for a real and uplifting conversation about what happiness truly means. From appreciating the little moments to understanding what brings genuine joy, they share their perspectives on living a fulfilling life and finding happiness in their own unique ways.
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Welcome to Inside Our Minds Podcast. I'm your moderator, Aaron Collier, and I'm joined weekly by two amazing co-hosts, Robbie McIntosh and Ashama Rucker. Robbie has autism and Ashama has Noonan syndrome, but that doesn't stop them from living life on their own terms. Every episode, we take you into the minds of Robbie and Ashama as they share their perspectives and experiences as adults who don't let their disabilities define them. Keep listening to be inspired.
SPEAKER_00Good morning and happy Monday. I'm Robbie McIntosh, your co-host, and I'm back, and I'm here with your other co-host, Ashama Rucker. And your moderator.
SPEAKER_02We missed him so much last week. We wanted him to do the intro this week, and that was freaking awesome. That was awesome. While we're on that topic, though, where were you?
SPEAKER_00What'd you do? How was it? Was it fun? Oh, it was it was pretty awesome. I actually did a lot of cool things. Um, so I actually last week um had the opportunity to visit my brother, my youngest brother in Provo. Um, he's actually getting ready to leave on a church mission trip in a few short months, and I felt prompted that before doing, before he does that, I should actually go out to Utah just to visit him. So that's what we did. Um we went to go to his choir rehearsal. We I listened to him sing. We got to do all sorts of different things, visit his classes, see him, you know, play the organ and and just, you know, see his around campus. And I must say that being around campus really was a cool, neat experience. And I I did that. Um, I also um visited friends that I've not seen for some time. I've been to my church meeting, which usually takes place out in Utah, which is a twice-a-year global event, and I got to visit family. So, long story short, I was with family going to church meetings and visiting my brothers.
SPEAKER_02Well, dude, we are so happy that you had a good time. Like, we are so, so happy. But I'll tell you what, the podcast room did not feel the same without you. We really, really missed you. So we are so happy you're back.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and I will say too, I was even listening to the podcast uh while I was in the car on my way to visit my great uncle, and I can't believe I was listening to the show, and I heard when I heard you gave me a shout-out, I said to myself, I can't believe I missed one week or I've been a week without podcasting, but here I am.
SPEAKER_02But dude, that's the best part about the brand that you are building, right? The inside our minds podcast that you built, Robbie. That you built a shama. Yep, y'all built this for other people to have voices, and yes, you stepped out a week, but that gave Palmer a chance to come on the show and share his story, share his experience. We did an episode with Susan this week. Like you built that brand, Robbie. You did that. So I'm so excited for you. And isn't this cool?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, it's very cool.
SPEAKER_02This is so cool, it's very amazing. We're blessed. We truly are. We're blessed.
SPEAKER_05So thank God.
SPEAKER_02Yes, thank God. Ashama, how was your week?
SPEAKER_05Oh my god, my week was awesome. Um, basically on Sunday, I spent um Easter with my family, and it was amazing. They had an Easter egg hunt. You know, I'm not about that, but you know, uh, I'm not a I'm a full adults.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'll do an Easter egg hunt. There's free candy in there.
SPEAKER_05But yeah, we had we had fun, we ate, then I left. I came home and I thought I was gonna walk my dog, but the staff came and walked my dog for me. So basically I didn't really have to do nothing. So and on Monday, I spent um a day when I got back from the grocery store. I spent the day with um our new peers, my new peers, um, Tammy, and we watched the movie until about it was time for the staff to come and see her, and then the rest of the day was really good.
SPEAKER_01What movie y'all watched?
SPEAKER_05Um, so when I came in, she was watching the end of um Sister Act Two. Okay, and then we watched Fat Albert.
SPEAKER_01Fat Albert. Yes, that's a childhood favorite of mine.
SPEAKER_05Yes, we sat and watched Fat Albert until it was um until it went off, and then that's when I left, and I went home and and uh I ate so much and I cooked and chilled.
SPEAKER_02Hey, that's what I'm talking about. Sounds like a great week. We we all had a really, really good week. Yeah, um, I I'm telling you one thing. I've I've felt really, really good this week, really fantastic, really great. I mean, it's it's just been a blessed week, and that's kind of gonna lead us into our topic today.
SPEAKER_05Oh, you know, one thing I forgot to say?
SPEAKER_02What's that?
SPEAKER_05I went to a baseball game. Yes, you did. I went to a baseball game, but guess what? I felt so bad because I went to a baseball game without a coat.
SPEAKER_02Well, oh yeah, I was gonna say it was freezing. So I well, I appreciate you coming to my baseball game. And Robbie, next time that you're in town, so when you're in town and we play at home next, we're gonna get you in that game too.
SPEAKER_00So I was just thinking when I saw text about that baseball game of this past week. I said to myself, I totally wish I could be there.
SPEAKER_02Well, guess what? I got you a guest pass. So whenever you come, you can get in for free. How about that? That's now you can save your money for Friday's hamburger. Yes. Yeah, and guess what?
SPEAKER_05We did get in for free. Yes, even though we got in after five.
SPEAKER_02That's the perks of knowing a coach, right? So we're cool. All right. Well, y'all ready to dive in?
SPEAKER_05Yes.
SPEAKER_02Yes. All right. Well, then it sounds like it is time to uh welcome you inside our minds. All right, let's get into it. So everybody always says they just want to be happy, but what does that actually mean? Is it money, success, relationships, or is it something way simpler than that that we just don't pay attention to? Today we're diving into what happiness really looks like and what actually makes us feel alive. We had such a good week. So I figured, you know what? We've been feeling all happy this week. Let's dive into happiness, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Y'all ready to dive on right in? Yes, let's do it. All right. So, first question Robbie, let's start with you. What actually makes us happy?
SPEAKER_00I think what makes us happy is just basically, you know, enthusiasm. I mean, I I mean, I've I I get happy so much when I walk into the doors of my job, and I just feel really grateful for the kind and cool coworkers that I have in my job. Um and if you don't mind, um there's one coworker in particular who's uh the most excited uh to see me. And I feel prompted to mention her name, Christine Sheshadi, who's our membership director of the Manchester Y. When when she is at the front desk, which is pretty much every Thursday, I she will say to me, Robbie, how are you? You know, and all that. She she's just really excited to see me. And when she greets me with enthusiasm, that's what makes me feel the most happy. But but just being around people and and talking to people and just having excitement and enthusiasm, like I had a a mix a bit bit of mix of happier, sad, happy to be home, sad to leave Utah, but to focus on the happy part, I was just so happy, more importantly, not only for that to happen, but happy to not only be back at work, but happy to do this podcast. Because if I were always out in Utah, I wouldn't have had I wouldn't have had an opportunity to do this podcast ever, but but always happy to do the podcast as well.
SPEAKER_02Well, we are happy to have you back. So that was that was a great answer. Really, really good answer. Ashama, what actually makes us happy?
SPEAKER_05What makes us happy is we alive. Yeah, we guys a hundred percent breathing in our lungs, yeah. We walking in success and we're doing things that make us happy, like being successful, that's being happy. Being successful and being alive is being happy.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. How how would you define success?
SPEAKER_05How do I define success? Mm-hmm. It's to keep doing when I'm doing and never to give up.
SPEAKER_02Yep, yep, a hundred percent, a hundred percent. So just in terms of like individual success, right? Like you set a goal and you get it, and then it's like, all right, I'm successful. Yeah, and it don't have to be a very complicated goal, right? Like, you know what I mean? So, like you said, just being able to breathe is a blessing in in itself. So it's like, you know what, that makes us happy, and you know what, we're we're successful and we're getting things done and we're doing things right, so that's a good answer. Yeah, Robbie. Second question What does happiness actually look like to you?
SPEAKER_00I mean, um, happiness looks like, you know, of of course you always have to think of things that make you happy. That that's one thing I've learned over time. Um but I but I also think that basically what happiness means is when you're like super happy, you're super excited. And I I mentioned uh a lot of it earlier, but you know, when you're happy, what happiness really looks like is just when you feel not only when you feel super excited, but also enthusiastic. Meaning you have a lot of like for instance, when I was on my way home and I told my mom how I felt about coming home, she said, Well, you know what? You have some exciting things to really look forward to. So I say what that's truly what happiness brings. Although you may feel sad or down or depressed or at some times, you you oftentimes will have a lot of exciting things to look forward to, like this podcast for for one, like church meetings and and stuff like that. Just so she said, look forward to exciting things. And the more you look forward to exciting things and exciting stuff, that's what happiness brings, and the more happy you will be.
SPEAKER_02Yes, 100%. Great answer. Ashamu. What does happiness actually look like to you?
SPEAKER_05To me, happiness is when you you hang around good people and they joke around and you sit up there and laugh. Yep. You know, like you laugh at their jokes or you laugh at the things that they do, you know, things that they say. So basically, to me is when you hanging around happy people that's excited about, you know, just anything.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, no, 100%. I like that answer a lot. I really, really like that answer. All right. Question three. Robbie, what's something you're genuinely grateful for right now?
SPEAKER_00Grateful. I'm glad I got to that point. Um, I'm grateful for a a lot of different things. I'm grateful for kind, loving and friends and and more importantly, friends and family and co-workers, people who I associate with, people who I work with. But more importantly, as they all as I hear many people say to um at my day program, I'm grateful to one of the things we pray to God about is we're just grateful. I'm just grateful to see another day go by. Grateful as well for the times that we live in. It's an exciting time in the history of my life, but also grateful to see another day go by fast.
SPEAKER_02Another beautiful answer, Robbie. Ashama, what's something you're genuinely grateful for right now?
SPEAKER_05I'm grateful for being alive.
SPEAKER_02Yes, ma'am.
SPEAKER_05I'm also grateful for being in a wonderful program. The people that cares, I'm so grateful. Um, I'm also grateful for me to be able to do things that I want to do, but not destructive, but just do things that I I need to do and want to do in life. And I'm also thankful for God.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, well, you said you're grateful to be in a great program.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02We're grateful that you are in this great program. So we uh I got we're we're so grateful for both of y'all. Y'all are fantastic people. And now we get the podcast together. Yeah, that's cool because that's the thing. If the program didn't bring us together, we wouldn't have this. You know what I mean? Basically, and it's crazy.
SPEAKER_05Like I'm also grateful for the staffs. Yeah, because they're wonderful, and the program directors, because they didn't even have to let us into the program. But I'm just grateful that they allowed us to be in this program and to be able to do what we need to do and get the help that we need.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, a hundred percent. So, Oshama, you are awesome. Robbie, question four. What kind of moments make you feel the most alive?
SPEAKER_00That's a good question. Well, like, so what mo the moments that make me feel most alive, I'd say when there be like exciting changes for one. Like like for instance, um this is the time when mo mo most people like my church, for example, goes through a lot of changes and and you know, but to focus on what moments make me the most alive, I'd say, not just through exciting changes, but you know, if it's something exciting that I've been waiting for, if something exciting that I've been waiting for for a long time hasn't happened yet, but was going to happen, and then if I ever found out about that, that's the most important, ex important part of my exciting moment of my life that makes me feel alive is when I when something comes to pass that I never wished, but I'm glad to see happen that I wished for.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, no, 100%. That's a really, really good answer. Really, really good answer. A shamel. What kind of moments make you feel the most alive?
SPEAKER_05The moments that make me feel most alive, that I'm able to do things. Um, like I'm able to cook, I'm able to clean, I'm able to go for a walk, walk my dog, I'm able to go to the store, I'm able to go to the gym to play basketball. Is that I'm able to do a lot of stuff that people think that I couldn't do, but I'm able to do a lot and to be able to stay alive.
SPEAKER_02That is a beautiful answer. You know what I mean? Because all those things, it's like, you know what? I can do this. I can do this. And then you just get so proud of yourself, and it just makes you feel that like I'm alive. Like I'm alive. Look at me. I am crushing this life thing. And I usually don't answer, but I love this question, so I'm gonna answer. But like kind of moments that make you feel most alive. It's very simple for me, right? Like, we have such crazy weather, it might be 40 degrees one day and 80 the next day. But the moments that make me feel most alive are just when I'm outside in nature, 75 degrees, nice breeze, got some good country music going, good Christian music going. Just those are the moments for me, just nice and simple that I always just feel the best. You know what I mean? Nice blue skies, just beautiful skies, beautiful trees, just those moments, just I love them. In the yes, dude, I could just live outside during those days. Like, I love it so much. So, all right. Last question. This is a really, really good one to end on. Robbie, what does a happy life look like to you long term?
SPEAKER_00Well, I mean, having a job for one, I I mean, I I I I basically think that if I have I I would prefer to like have something to do um 100% of the time, 365 days a year without having to be bored. So if like for instance, in addition to day program, in addition to church classes, I think basically what a happy life would look f would would have me do is just have you know a full-time job in addition to whatever job I have, because the more jobs I have, the less bored I am, and the less bored I am, if I'm not bored and if I'm doing something, if I have responsibilities or I'm busy enough to do something, that's what a happy life looks like for me. And of course, keeping a daily structured schedule without having to be bored is what definitely makes a happy what definitely a happy life looks like for me.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, dude, I love that answer. I love that answer. And I think us humans, how we were made and how we work, I just think like we're not meant to just be cooped up inside around four walls all day, you know what I mean? So, like you said, get out, do stuff, have structure, like that means more than anyone realizes, right? So that's a really, really good answer. Oshama. What does a happy life look like to you long term?
SPEAKER_05Completing my assignment.
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_05Because we did come on this earth to do an assignment. So our assignment is to please God and do what the things that He wants us to do. So basically, get like he said, get out, get some fresh air, ride a bike, talk to people, be nice. Yeah, you know, it's just uh the things that we gotta do.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Because that's what we on this earth to do, to complete our assignment. And our assignment has to be completed.
SPEAKER_02And sometimes we don't always know our assignment either. Exactly. But sometimes it's just being nice to people, showing up, just being a decent person and getting our stuff done, and then maybe later on in life, maybe we're like, you know what? That's what I was supposed to do.
SPEAKER_05Exactly.
SPEAKER_02But sometimes you don't realize it right away, you know what I mean? So I I love that. I love that.
SPEAKER_05Only God knows what our assignment is, and he'll let us know what our assignment is.
SPEAKER_02Yes, ma'am, 100%. So, all right. Well, guys, that wraps up our question. That was short, sweet, and happy. Yes, short, sweet, and happy. Happy. Happy, let's go. Do y'all got any closing statements? Robbie, we'll start with you.
SPEAKER_00Well, you know, um, I don't know how I could best put put in my own words, but um, I talked before about what my senior class secretary says. There's one thing that I didn't say on this podcast, what my what was said in my graduation that I think my senior class secretary said, and I've talked about her off and on about this podcast, but there was one thing that stuck out to me in her speech, is she said, think of things that make you happy. Now, now I kind of like that. So, because we talk a lot about our family, you know, we need to we've talked before in our family, even before that graduation ever happened. It reminded it went back to what my dad said is like you need to be thinking of things that make you happy rather than things that just give you pleasure all the time, like just sitting in front of the TV, watching the TV. But yeah, I'd say, you know, just my closing statement is simply this you know, make think of stuff that makes you happy rather than make things that make you feel bored or stressed out or feel alone all the time, but just go out, just do something, have structure, don't just wander around or sit in front of the computer or TV all day, exercise, have a job, do all sorts of things that make you happy. And I promise you that if that if you do that, you'll be mu you'll live a much happier life.
SPEAKER_02Bingo, bingo, great closing statement. Uh Oshama, any closing statement for you?
SPEAKER_05My closing statement is be happy. Yes, if people can't love you for who you are, love yourself for who you are. Because it's better for you to be happy than to be sad. So be happy, be successful, love yourself, love on yourself when somebody can't love you the way that you want to be loved, you can love on your soul. Like just be happy, have a go. What you're gonna do, and you know, and just be happy. It's better for you to be happy than to be sad.
SPEAKER_02That is a beautiful closing statement, and I 100% agree. The key to a really, really good relationship, and I think people get this wrong, but the key to a really good relationship is loving yourself first.
SPEAKER_05Yep, right?
SPEAKER_02You need to get to that point where you're you're okay with being by yourself, you're okay with being happy by yourself.
SPEAKER_05Yep.
SPEAKER_02So then when you get with somebody, you love yourself so much that you understand your worth. Yes, you know what I mean? Because if you get with somebody and let's say you don't understand your worth or you don't necessarily love yourself, right, then you might let that person kind of dictate some things, right?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, because I had to learn that. Yeah, and I had to learn that a long time ago when I was young. And so now, by me being the age that I am now, I love myself. I love what I do.
SPEAKER_02Yes, yes, 100%. What did we say last week? There was winners and what?
SPEAKER_05Uh winners and learners. Yes.
SPEAKER_02And that's not just with like sports or games, that's with life moments, right? Sometimes you're gonna come out of situations where it's like, you know what, I won that situation, I completed that. There's other times you might feel a little bit defeated, but guess what? You learn, learn, you learn from those moments, right?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, like you gotta learn from your mistakes. So learn from yourself uh what you need to be happy about, and so when you go out there that you have somebody that loves you because you love you for yourself, yeah. Now you got somebody that loves you because you love you for yourself.
SPEAKER_02Yes, 100%. And I'll go now. I I think we all had a really, really good, happy week. And we were just sitting there trying to plan the podcast, and I was like, you know what? Happy, happy, we're all happy. It's been such a good week. So let's talk about happiness. And I think this episode went really, really well, and I had a really, really good time.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, me too.
SPEAKER_02For our listeners, stay happy, stay blessed, and we're so so grateful for y'all. We're at 165 five star reviews. Yay! Let's go, let's go, let's go. We've gotten a lot of support. We have a lot of listeners, and we're just grateful and blessed. And like I mentioned earlier, yes, we missed Rob. So much last week, but the fact we were able to do an episode with Susan with Palmer, like that's the brand that Robbie and Oshamer are building, right? Like they're giving a platform to Palmer, to Susan, to Thomas, who just submitted stories. Like, you know what I mean? Like just guys all across the world, right? Like, y'all are building that platform.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, so we we wanted to build it because we want everybody to know that it's not about just autism, it's not about just Newman syndrome, it's about everybody that has a disability, and we wanted to share it with everybody that has a disability so they know what to do, how to, you know, handle it, and even if with their parents also. So we wanted to give out that opportunity to share our stories just to help people so they can feel good about their self. Cause you know, some people they don't feel good about their self because they got disabilities. And so we want them to feel good about their self. If we feel if I feel good about myself and Robbie feel good about himself, we want everybody else to feel good about their self, even if they have a disability or not.
SPEAKER_02Hey, I I'm I'm gonna be a hundred percent honest with you. This platform, this podcast, it's a lot of work.
SPEAKER_05Yes.
SPEAKER_02It is a lot of work, the planning, the editing, even showing up recording. Like, I mean, that's the fun part. But I mean, there's so much that goes into it.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02If we can just help one person, one, one person, then it's all worth it, right? Yeah, and I think that y'all are helping more than just one person. I'm super, super proud of you. So, guys, that wraps up our show. We are so fired up, we are so excited, and we're so happy. Yes, so happy with everybody from inside our minds. We hope you have a great week. Have a great week.
SPEAKER_03We don't care, we ride our own headline.