Ep 1: Miss America of Hookers Meets Psych Ward Valedictorian

Janine has bipolar disorder and has been hospitalized seven times.  Isadora spent most of her adult life as a professional escort and even became the “number one” escort in the U.S.  Janine (Nutty) and Isadora (Slutty) became fast friends in a writing class when they discovered they had both been living on the fringe.  With bipolar disorder, Janine felt like she had to hide the reality of living with mental illness — psychiatric hospitalizations, antipsychotic medications — and to pass as just another happy blonde. Isadora dishes up the practical realities of sex work — client screening, logistics, safety planning, boundaries and emotional strain.  This episode challenges stereotypes about mental illness and sex work by replacing assumptions with specific, lived experiences.  For Isadora and Janine, friendship and trust give them the strength to reveal the secrets that took over their lives.

Transcript

Miss America of Hookers Meets Psych Ward Valedictorian

JANINE: I could have kept going silently, forever, hiding my mind from the world. I got very good at doing that. And you did a did a little hiding as well. 

ISADORA: Yeah, I hid my whole career from the world. 

JANINE: Hi. 

ISADORA: Hi. 

JANINE: We're doing it. 

ISADORA: I know. 

JANINE: We're kind of an unlikely duo. 

ISADORA: Yes. 

JANINE: I'm nutty because mm-hmm. I have spent some time in psych hospitals. I've been hospitalized seven times. I'm bipolar. I take a lot of medication, so I am a nut. 

ISADORA: Right. And I'm slutty because I was an escort for most of my adult life and, uh, and became the number one escort in the country for a while. A Miss America of hookers. 

JANINE: So, okay. Isadora, we're gonna have to come back to that. 

ISADORA: Absolutely. But it's. Interesting. 'cause we both live on the fringes of life. And, um, and I think that's what makes it interesting to me to talk.         

JANINE: Yeah, I could have kept going silently, forever, hiding my mind from the world. I got very good at doing that. And you did a, did a little hiding as well. 

ISADORA: Yeah, I hid my whole career from the world. Yeah. Anyways, it's. It is such a shame that we had to spend our whole lives hiding. You know? I mean, everyone has a secret. Maybe some people carry secrets. It's true. But I think we both are asking, how did this secret that I carry take over my entire life?

JANINE: Yeah. How does it take over one's life? I don't know. I think that's what we're gonna be talking about, our experiences as outsiders. And you know, the misconceptions surrounding what it is to be bipolar. Misconceptions surrounding what it is to be an escort and yeah, sort of opening up, pulling back the curtain so that we can sort of dispel some of the stereotypes and it maybe you and I will eventually feel safe to step out behind the curtain 'cause it won't feel so dangerous.

ISADORA: Hmm. Yeah. It feels a little dangerous for me still. I. I mean, I think we should say to people who they were listening, we met in our writing class, and when I saw you, you do look like you're tall and blonde and you just look, yes, upper class where you live. And you know, I would think, oh, she's got such an easy, pretty life, miss Barbie. And then you started writing about things that were so incredibly. Raw and powerful and way out in the other side. So you were talking about being bipolar and this is how stupid I am. I really never, I knew people who have bipolar, but not really well about it. You know, in my, in my mind, I had this stereotype that, you know, it. Um, people who were not well and people who were in institutions and people who were living on the streets, and that's how stupid I am about it. But, but I was so surprised when I met you because it wasn't, you weren't the picture that I, that I had in my head and then listening to what you had been through, it was so fascinating to me.

JANINE: Yeah, but I have to say the same about you, Isadora. Like I remember your writing right away because it was so free on the page. Like I had just come out of an MFA program and like you didn't use like periods or commas and you just like your words just like were thrown everywhere. But it was so free. And then when I got to know you and learn that you were an escort. It just kind of matched up with your personality, the way that you write like that. And I had never seen writing like that, so it was a very fun way to meet you, and I've never known an escort, and I think as we got to know each other. When I found out actually about like that you were a writer.  I took one of your books with me. I ordered it on Amazon and I took it to Hawaii with me. And I remember my sister asked me what I was reading. I was like, oh, it's about an escort. It was a friend of mine, and I just felt very like, cool to know you and to know an escort. I know it sounds really dorky, but it just made me feel like I've been accepted into the cool club and I have, you know, I have access to this very taboo knowledge and so I was really, I. Well, I was happy that you liked me. 

ISADORA: Well, in my club we don't use periods and commas, so now you don't have to anymore now that you're part of the gang. No, I know what you mean. I, it's a funny thing about, I'm gonna just follow what you said, but you know. As an escort. When I was an escort, I felt like it was really taboo and there was a lot of other things going on, so I didn't feel I was one of the cool people. But once it came out. It was so funny to me how many people reacted in the sense of, oh my God, really? What is it? Like? It was so glamorous flying everywhere with, and I was like, really?

JANINE: I am very unglamorous as the nutty, like there is nothing like alluring. Mystical about that, but you slutty you get to have the, the mystery and the intrigue around you. I mean, I think we do have a lot in common, aside from what we don't have in common. I mean, think we're both, we're both actors or started out being actors. 

ISADORA: We both are writers, we're both single women. When we finally became friends, it was. Like we gave each other the freedom to accept each other and the freedom to accept what we each went through without any judgment. And I think there was a part of me that was like, oh God, wouldn't it be nice if the world was this way?

JANINE: And really, they just don't know. So the fact that we're sharing what it's like to live in these states of being on the fringes of society in an open, trusting way, I think. You know if, if somebody's interested in knowing it can be a really good thing and create safety for us and other people who are struggling with that.

ISADORA: In the show, we'll be talking about our experiences as outsiders, way on the fringes of our nutty and slutty lives.

JANINE: Thank you so much for listening. Please share this episode with someone who might need to hear it. It's so easy to share. It's that little square icon with the arrow pointing up. And as always, we're glad you're here.