9. What's Your Body Trying To Tell You?

If willpower was what we needed to stop people pleasing, then we'd all be cured.  However, our people pleasing problem is rooted in our biology, our nervous system, and our belief system about safety and approval.  

Learning to PAUSE and LISTEN to our bodies is a vital part to replacing the automatic habit of YES, or apologizing, or over explaining, or fixing it with an honest answer.  

Psalm 32:8 and James 1:5 are spiritual anchors in learning to replace the protection mechanism of people pleasing.

For more resources:  https://rhondamorales.com

Transcript

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So just imagine your week is absolutely packed, and your phone rings and someone is asking you, hey, can you bake four dozen cupcakes for a fundraiser that's happening tomorrow? You automatically text back, happy to help. When you put the phone down, immediately there's this wave of exhaustion that washes over you. What just happened? In today's session, we are going to be decoding the automatic yes that drives us to doing all of these people-pleasing behaviors. If willpower could stop our people-pleasing habit, then we would all be cured by now. However, we treat our inability to say no as a behavioral issue. We think, ah, I just need more discipline. Or maybe I'll read that new book on boundaries. In reality, though, this people-pleasing habit is deeply rooted in our biology, our nervous system, and our internal belief systems about our safety and our approval. We're going to learn today how to pause and tune into the nervous system and answer with truth instead of that automatic habit. It's a very highly effective automatic protection mechanism that will have you baking four dozen cupcakes at midnight. So how do we catch this in the moment? The answer isn't in your head. The body knows the answer before the brain does. The physical sensations you get when someone asks you for a favor, like the tight chest, maybe the stomach drops, maybe the face flushes. It's like a check engine light on the dashboard of a car. And sadly, we know and sense how other people are feeling, but we ignore our own. This is what happens. The amygdala perceives a threat and releases adrenaline. And then you start feeling tension in your body. You might have some shallow breathing, maybe racing thoughts, or maybe you're totally frozen. These are signs that something important is going on, and the body is wanting to get your attention. And what we need to do right now is a sacred pause. Notice the body and create space between that sensation and the automatic response. So let's demo what that sacred pause looks like. So take a slow breath in and a nice long exhale out. Now think about a recent moment when someone asks something of you that felt uncomfortable. Notice what happens in your body even before you try to analyze the situation. Do you feel tightness in your chest? Maybe tension in your shoulders or your neck? Let those physical memories surface without judging them. And when you feel it, what urge do you get? Maybe an urge to say an immediate yes or an urge to fix the situation. Ask yourself, what is my body trying to tell me right now? What fear is behind this feeling? And what response would actually feel honest? This is the sacred pause in action. Noticing these internal cues is a vital part of seeking God's wisdom and spiritual growth. Let's take a look at Psalm 32.8, which is a divine promise of guidance where God pledges to instruct, teach, and counsel believers, keeping a watchful, loving eye on us. And also let's take a look at James 1.5. If any one of you is lacking wisdom, then he should ask God. We can't hear the Holy Spirit leading when we're panicked and frantically appeasing to keep someone else happy. This all means you can't stop people pleasing through just discipline. It doesn't work that way. We have to decode the fear, listen to those body sensations like the tight chest, the knotted stomach. We need to ground in truth and use that sacred pause to respond honestly. Let me leave you with this affirmation. They are information guiding you toward honesty, wisdom, and peace. For more information and doing a deeper dive in this area, look at my website www.rondamoralis.com forward slash course. I've got a great course doing some deeper work in this area to help you stop people pleasing. All right. Thanks for listening in today. And until next time, keep on practicing.